The Simpsons 11x7

Directed by Steven Dean Moore

Jan Hooks as Manjula (voice) • Tress MacNeille as Ms. Dare / Gwen / Homer's Cousin's Wife (voice) • Marcia Wallace as Edna Krabappel (voice) • Butch Patrick as Butch Patrick (voice) • Jan Hooks as Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon (voice) • Garry Marshall as Larry Kidkill (voice)

Due to overuse of fertility medication, Apu and wife Manjula give birth to octuplets. Desperate for money, Apu loans the babies to an unscrupulous carny promoter, then needs Homer's help to get them back.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'oh! (screams)

2. These Swedish furniture designers

3. sure have some far-out ideas.

4. I mean, a green table?

5. I wouldn't have thought of that in my wildest dreams.

6. And these bean bag chairs look so comfortable.

7. (sighing) Oops!

8. Hey, there's someone else in here.

9. Argh, she swallowed me whole.

10. You put it together yourself.

11. All you need is me, Allen Wrench.

12. He's named after what he is.

13. Cool costume.

14. (in mechanical voice) It's not a costume.

15. They found me inside a meteor.

16. Excuse me, where are your hamper lids?

17. (in normal voice) Hamper lids? Uh, third floor.

18. (in mechanical voice) Help! I need tungsten to live.

19. Tungsten!

20. Whoa...

21. Ooh, look at all these clever pencil holders.

22. Ooh! I want to get the Kronk.

23. Mmm. You don't want something that overshadows the pencils.

24. How about this... Popli?

25. Mom, no!

26. Everyone at school picks on the Popli kids,

27. even I do!

28. I just hate them so much.

29. Yes, I will have the polpenlugen

30. and don't skimp on the doodlemunch.

31. How ingenious!

32. The forks are made out of Lego.

33. Hmm!

34. Hello, Simpsons!

35. Hey, Apu, Manjula.

36. You guys are still married?

37. Oh, yes, sir, quite happily.

38. Pay up, Marge.

39. Say, what you got there?

40. I don't know, exactly.

41. It's from the room of lamps that do not look like lamps.

42. Oh, little Maggie, aren't you cute

43. with your little bow?

44. Maggie loves baby talk.

45. - That was Hindi. - (chuckling) Oh. Sorry.

46. So, have you two thought about kids?

47. Well, sure we have, but the decision

48. to have a child is not to be made lightly.

49. On the other hand, monkey see, monkey do.

50. (chuckling) Kids are the best, Apu.

51. You can teach them to hate the things you hate.

52. And they practically raise themselves

53. what with the Internet and all.

54. Well, perhaps it is time.

55. I've noticed this country is dangerously underpopulated.

56. Are you sure you want a child, Apu?

57. You know I do.

58. I mean, there comes a time in a man's life

59. when he asks himself,

60. "Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?"

61. Oh, Apu, take me now.

62. Oh, Calcutta!

63. Hey, Apu, sitting in the ice cream cooler, eh?

64. By chilling my loins, I increase the chances

65. of impregnating my wife.

66. Whoa-ho, too much information.

67. Thanks for the mental picture.

68. Why don't you tell us what you really think?

69. Would you stop spouting those hackneyed quips?

70. Could you be any more...

71. Hello?

72. Look, just give me some ice cream.

73. Um. How about one not touching your ass?

74. - (pager beeps) - Oh!

75. Manjula has begun to ovulate.

76. Ew...

77. Thanks for sharing...

78. more than I wanted to know!

79. Here goes nothing.

80. Baby...

81. Baby...

82. Oh... lemon.

83. All that sex for nothing.

84. Well, that is a pretty grim assessment.

85. You know, Homer, you might want

86. to open those cans before they explode.

87. But the cans seal in the flavor.

88. OK.

89. So, how's the tribe coming along?

90. Any papooses?

91. No. Still no luck.

92. Tell me, Homer, did you have to take any...

93. special steps when you decided to have children?

94. "Decided"?

95. That's classic! "Decided."

96. Babies just happen.

97. Well, not to us, they don't.

98. Oh, Homer, we have tried everything.

99. Oysters, gravity boots,

100. Sanjay's bed, every possible position.

101. Really?

102. On top and underneath?

103. Eh... yes.

104. Well, don't worry, I can help you.

105. I'm all about ideas.

106. Kids! Come and get it!

107. Now, this situation is guaranteed

108. to end in pregnancy.

109. I'm willing to play the high school jock,

110. but did you have to cut the roof off my car?

111. Hup-hup-hup-hup. That's an Apu question.

112. You're "Greg."

113. "Uh, gee, Betsy, it's such a nice night.

114. - Why don't we go all the way? - (Homer mouthing along)

115. "But Greg, my dad will kill me.

116. "And you have that scholarship

117. to Ivy League State."

118. "Loosen up, baby.

119. Tomorrow I'm shipping off to Vietnam."

120. I thought I was going to Ivy League State.

121. My mistake. Stay in the moment.

122. "Just promise not to forget me

123. on your dinosaur-bone- digging-up trip."

124. And that's my cue to exit.

125. Homer!

126. I just wanted to invite you to the wrap party.

127. And that's my cue to exit.

128. Baby...

129. Baby...

130. Pirate?

131. No, no, wait a minute!

132. Pirates are wild!

133. We are pregnant!

134. Oh! Oh, get lost.

135. Man, the last nine months sure were crazy.

136. I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day.

137. I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint

138. as sideshow Marge.

139. I became the most popular girl in school

140. But blew it by being conceited.

141. And then I learned the true meaning of winter.

142. Apu, do you still find me attractive?

143. Of course I do, sweetheart.

144. You are beautiful and silky and manageable.

145. You're reading that off a conditioner bottle.

146. I... That's true.

147. But you still have a...

148. Ooh! Oh.

149. My water broke.

150. Oh, we must drive to the hospital.

151. Cleanup in aisle three.

152. Oh, finally.

153. Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy.

154. Aah!

155. Aw, my back...

156. Apu, come quick!

157. You're missing the miracle!

158. Oh?

159. Oh, my sweet husband,

160. say hello to your firstborn child.

161. Oh. You shall be the jewel of our lives.

162. Aw... Now, say hello to your other seven children.

163. My... what?

164. (laughing) We had quite a discussion

165. about the funniest way to reveal them to you.

166. You have octuplets.

167. It rolls off your tongue and into your heart, "octuplets."

168. Apu, you should have seen your face

169. when they showed you those babies. (laughing)

170. Yeah. It looked just like that.

171. Apu, say hello to Poonam, Sashi

172. Pria, Uma, Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu

173. and Mama's clear favorite, Gheet.

174. How did we get eight?

175. Apu, I must confess.

176. When we were having trouble conceiving,

177. I took fertility drugs.

178. I, too, I am afraid, am guilty

179. of monkeying with nature.

180. I slipped fertility drugs into your breakfast squishy.

181. Mm-hmm...

182. Well, that would only account for quintuplets.

183. Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs?

184. Mine tasted like strawberry.

185. Mmm. Ovulicious.

186. Would you say you and your babies

187. have a "love-eight" relationship?

188. (chuckling) Absolutely. Yes.

189. No. Say it. We need a sound bite.

190. We have a "love-eight" relationship.

191. Aw.

192. Yes. Kent Brockman, Channel Six.

193. How would you respond to people who say

194. this kind of multiple birth

195. is more suited to, say, a possum than a human being?

196. Wha— Who would say such a thing?

197. Well... Pundits, wags...

198. I'm not the one on trial here.

199. No one is on trial.

200. This is a joyous occasion for all,

201. and the outpouring of support has been so lucrative.

202. Yes. We have already received

203. lifetime supplies of baby powder and Pepsi-B.

204. Free baby cola?

205. Apu hits the jackpot

206. and I'm stuck with these useless one-tuplets.

207. Gee, sorry for being born.

208. I've been waiting so long to hear that.

209. How do you feel about this avalanche of free merchandise?

210. Oh, the companies are so generous.

211. Except the Q-tip people.

212. They only gave us three crates.

213. They can rot in hell.

214. But the good folks at Sony...

215. Their giant TV will really help us love our babies.

216. I'm here at Shelbyville Hospital

217. where a local woman has just given birth

218. to nine, that's right, nine babies.

219. Some say eight babies is a blessing,

220. but they don't know the joy of nine.

221. Would you say you're on cloud nine?

222. We're on cloud nine!

223. Aw.

224. Oh. They even have a better sound bite than us.

225. Nine babies? That's barbaric!

226. Nonuplets? Now, that's something you don't see every day.

227. Let's get this stuff to the real heroes,

228. the Shelbyville Nine!

229. Oh.

230. Wait! That's our ottoman!

231. Don't worry, my little curry-face.

232. We don't need corporate handouts.

233. Our children will live on love.

234. Apu! It's 4:00 a.m.

235. You are late for work.

236. Oh. I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.

237. Oh, no, you don't, not till they're out of college.

238. Listen, I'll die when I want to.

239. Thank you. Steal again.

240. Well, morning, Apu.

241. How are the little blessings?

242. Ooh, they're a ravenous swarm of locusts,

243. just eating and screaming and grabbing and poking

244. and pulling and drooling

245. and two have cradle rash.

246. How do you get cradle rash

247. when you sleep in a suitcase?

248. They can be a handful...

249. - of joy. - Shut up!

250. They'll fill your lives with...

251. Just shut up!

252. Can't put a price on a miracle.

253. I can't believe you don't shut up.

254. - (clicking) Oh, look at that.

255. Ooh, a gingerbread house.

256. Hansel and Gretel are set for life.

257. You know, I saw Apu today.

258. He's really frazzled.

259. Boy, that Hansel sure can eat.

260. Ah! My corneas!

261. You were saying?

262. Apu told me all eight babies have colic.

263. Although, he thinks one or two

264. might just be going along with the crowd.

265. Eight kids. Hmm.

266. I'm sterile, right, baby doll?

267. Yes, dear, from the nuclear plant.

268. Beautiful.

269. Knock, knock.

270. Hmm.

271. Apu?

272. Manjula?

273. Marge, I've got a bad feeling about this.

274. Welcome to my nightmare.

275. I know you had your hands full with the babies

276. So I baked you some banana bread.

277. Oh, hallelujah, our problems are solved.

278. We have banana bread.

279. Well, you don't have to be sarcastic.

280. Oh, look, who's here. The family with one baby.

281. How do you manage?

282. Marge, they've turned into jerks.

283. I'm very sorry. We've been rude.

284. Can I offer you something to drink?

285. - No, thanks. - No, thanks.

286. Apu, they're doing it again.

287. - OK, break it up. - (babies cooing)

288. Maybe you two should get a nanny.

289. Yes, and what would I pay her with? Banana bread?

290. Sorry, sorry. It's just we haven't slept in days

291. and we're running out of money and...

292. Banana bread?

293. What the hell were you thinking?

294. Banana bread.

295. I apologize, apologize again.

296. As a token of forgiveness,

297. - please take this baby. - Mmm.

298. No! Marge, no!

299. Mr. Nahasa... Pasa...

300. Aw, forget it.

301. Listen, you look like you could use some help.

302. - Come with me. - OK.

303. But you don't know who he is.

304. Who cares? There's only one of him.

305. What if your babies could live in a place

306. with round-the-clock child care,

307. all expenses paid, full medical,

308. dental, tutors, the works?

309. I would say that there must be

310. some sort of horrible catch.

311. The zoo?

312. What? Everybody loves my zoo.

313. You don't love my zoo?

314. I dare you to look at a kangaroo

315. and not laugh.

316. I dare you.

317. Well, they're usually funnier.

318. Look, I'm not going to put my babies in a zoo.

319. Don't say no till you see the habitat.

320. The habitat?

321. I mean, the nursery.

322. Oh, my goodness.

323. Not too shabby, eh? They'll have the best of care.

324. And all I ask is that you let the local folks

325. share a little glimpse of your blessing.

326. But is it right to put such young children on display?

327. Sure, it is. - Uh?

328. Butch Patrick?

329. That's right.

330. I was TV's Eddie Munster.

331. And being in the public eye didn't mess me up one bit.

332. Mm-hmm.

333. Well, obviously.

334. Hey, one question, Eddie.

335. - Butch. - Eh, right, right.

336. If your mother was a vampire

337. and your father was a Frankenstein,

338. how come you are a werewolf?

339. Huh. I never thought of that.

340. Doesn't make sense, does it?

341. But what does make sense is putting your children

342. in the hands of Mr. Kidkill here.

343. Please, please... Larry. Larry Kidkill.

344. I don't care what Butch Patrick says.

345. It just doesn't seem right.

346. We wouldn't be giving the babies away.

347. We'd be moving in with them.

348. They'll have a traditional "zoo-ish" upbringing.

349. Mmm. Mmm.

350. Well, maybe we could try it.

351. Whoa! - Hey, what the...

352. Hey, I'm a notary. So, I got that going, too.

353. Oh... you like that, don't you, Poonam?

354. Yeah, who's a clean baby, huh?

355. Ah, now, this is a happy family.

356. You liking this thing?

357. How's this humidity, good?

358. Why am I asking?

359. I can see on the meter it's good.

360. Oh, everything is perfect.

361. Yeah, nothing's too good for my little angels.

362. Hup! It's almost showtime.

363. Showtime?

364. All right, people.

365. If you're not in a diaper, get off my stage.

366. Off, off, off, off.

367. I can't believe we're going to see the octuplets.

368. You already saw them.

369. Yeah, but now their umbilical cords have fallen off.

370. - (drumroll) - Ladies and gentlemen,

371. get ready for the eight wonders of the Third World.

372. Welcome to Octopia!

373. He can't talk, but, man, can he rock.

374. Say hello to the baddest baby in the whole damn town...

375. Animal!

376. Aw.

377. How can he rebel?

378. He doesn't even know where he is.

379. Uh-oh, sounds like one of the babies has a fever.

380. Dance fever, that is.

381. Oh! (chortling)

382. Let's hear it for Dazzle!

383. She's no Liza, but it works.

384. And now the standup who can't even sit up.

385. Give it up for Punchline!

386. He's thinking what we're all saying.

387. But all the laughs in the world won't protect you

388. from the stern discipline of...

389. the Baron.

390. Boo, Baron.

391. And... the rest.

392. Good night, Springfield.

393. We'll be back in an hour.

394. Huh?

395. Good babies.

396. Good, good babies.

397. Work with Dazzle.

398. She's a lox out there.

399. How could you do this to our children?

400. I know, the lighting cues were a mess.

401. Don't worry, the guy's been fired.

402. Our babies are not circus freaks.

403. We're taking them home now.

404. Hold on, Alpo. We got a contract.

405. Not anymore.

406. Laminated.

407. You monster!

408. Terence, Christopher.

409. Will you show these two to the exit?

410. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

411. The zookeeper paid you off, didn't he?

412. Paid me off?

413. What, are you crazy?

414. So we'll never see our children again?

415. Well, they might give Dazzle back.

416. The buzz is, she's got one more show to turn it around.

417. Well, if the police won't help us,

418. we'll simply have to take the law into our own hands.

419. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are doing that these days.

420. These animals certainly act different at night.

421. Oh, my little treasures.

422. We'll get you out of this terrible place.

423. (gasps) She's waking up.

424. Don't worry, I brought some chloroform.

425. Pleasant dreams.

426. There... and there.

427. You idiot! Those are Colorforms.

428. Nabendu...

429. Pria... and Sashi.

430. Now let's go!

431. OK, this is getting weird.

432. Oh, my precious babies.

433. We'll never let you go.

434. Oh, let's get this awful thing off.

435. Let me... OK, whatever.

436. Hold it right there, scumbags!

437. Please, Mr. Kidkill,

438. look into your heart.

439. I know these babies have a lifetime contract.

440. But what if I put together an even better act for you?

441. Something sensational!

442. It's not just you prancing around

443. in a monkey suit, is it?

444. Not anymore.

445. You've got yourself a deal.

446. Quiet! You're breaking character.

447. Are those real cobras?

448. "Some are real,

449. Some are just robots filled with venom."

450. Now, that is a true friend.

451. You know, if he can handle that,

452. maybe we can handle this bunch.

453. We'll do our best, chutney-butt.

454. OK, OK, don't panic, Butch.

455. Release the mongoose!

456. Ow! Oh!

457. Stupid mongoose! Get the snake! The snake!

458. Do I look like a snake? Ow! Ow!

459. Why isn't he listening to me?

460. Ow! (screaming)

461. Show's over! Show's over!

462. Next show at eight o'clock and ten!

463. Shh!

464. Captioned by Visual Data Media Services