1. The Simpsons
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2. D'oh!
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3. Itchy And Scratchy Show
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4. Mmm.
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5. He was so young.
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6. Oh, so sad.
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7. Oh.
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8. Whoo.
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9. Hey.
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10. - Hey.
- Ahh.
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11. Okay. Here goes.
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12. Cloning is a troubling issue.
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13. I like the ones where
the mouse kills the cat.
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14. What's in the box, Mom?
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15. - This box? Oh, nothing.
- Are you sure? You sound nervous.
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16. Well, anyone would be nervous with all
the economic turmoil you read about in the-
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17. Get her! She's doing something!
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18. - It's the Goodwill truck!
- She cleaned out the attic!
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19. Our junk! And the exits are sealed!
Go to plan "B"!
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20. Come on!
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21. Go! Go!
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22. I'm trying!
Stop yelling at me!
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23. Oh, no, you don't!
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24. Oh, precious heirlooms,
Daddy would never let them take you.
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25. Oh, that was scary.
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26. We came this close to losing our spare
Christmas tree stand. You monster!
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27. Look! Here's the box
for my Pitch Back.
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28. If I still had it,
I could put it in here!
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29. Oh, I'll never get rid
of this useless junk.
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30. Useless? This flash cube
has two flashes left.
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31. You guys never use any
of this stuff. Look at these.
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32. You bought them after the Nagano Olympics
and never skied once.
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33. - If you would just stop being so impulsive, maybe-
- Hey, let's go skiing right now!
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34. - Yeah, Dad, let's go!
- Whoo-hoo!
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35. - Now, now, now! Yeah, Dad!
- No!
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36. Okay, here it comes.
Keep your eyes on the chair.
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37. - Look, Dad. It's the drummer from Bread.
- Where?
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38. Ohh!
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39. Ahh.
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40. This chair lift sure goes high
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41. Oh, finally.
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42. Some gentle rocking
will relax you, Mom.
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43. - Stop it!
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44. See, Mom? You conquered your fears
and now you're ready to-
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45. I'm sorry!
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46. Hmm. The Widowmaker.
No, that one's for the ladies.
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47. Spinebuster? Boring.
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48. Whoo! Colostomizer!
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49. Hey, don't hurt me!
Here's my wallet!
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50. Hi-diddly-ho, schuss-in-boots!
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51. Flanders?
That suit's a little revealing, isn't it?
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52. Well, it allows for maximum mobility.
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53. - Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all.
- Quit it!
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54. Must wash eyes!
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55. Uh-oh. Ooh.
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56. Okay, don't panic.
Remember what the instructor said.
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57. If you ever get into trouble,
all you need to do is-
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58. Feels like I'm wearing
nothin' at all.
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59. Nothin' at all.
Nothin' at all.
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60. Stupid sexy Flanders!
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61. - Ow! My leg! This is the worst pain ever!
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62. Ow! Ohh! Uhh! Aah!
Ohh! Uhh!
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63. Single.
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64. So hard, but so rewarding.
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65. Downhill skiers missing fun-
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66. Oh, who am I kidding?
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67. Wow! What a perfect scene.
This was so worth it.
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68. Don't worry, little friends.
I won't hurt you.
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69. - Eep!
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70. - Whoa!
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71. - Leave those deer alone!
- But theywere trying to eat me.
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72. Those deer?
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73. - But they-
- Come on. I'll dropyou off at the lodge.
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74. Whoa! Fat 540!
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75. - I'm gettin' agro on this kicker!
- Stomp that pickle revert!
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76. Excellent.
Your lingo is progressing nicely.
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77. - Can I go to the bathroom?
- Uh-uh! Say it in snowboard.
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78. - Um, I gotta blast a dookie.
- Dook on!
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79. Snow fox at 5 O' Clock
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80. Move it in, shove it out
Disco lady
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81. - Is this seat taken?
- Uh, I think that's an armrest.
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82. So, doyou party?
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83. You mean like, uh,
hats and noisemakers kind of party?
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84. Sure, baby.
Whateve ryour trip is.
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85. Disco Stu wants you to be comfortable
while he does his thing.
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86. - Who's Disco Stu?
- Hey, Mom!
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87. - Hi, pumpkins!
- Kids!
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88. Back away, not today
Disco lady
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89. - Have you been in here all day?
- You missed all the fun.
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90. Skiing fanny first into a crevasse
isn't my idea of fun.
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91. The only risk I'm taking is running
out of marshmallows.
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92. - Ow!
- Somebody get a doctor!
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93. - Oh, man. Another clock accident.
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94. No wonder.
Look at this.
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95. - That ought to hold it.
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96. I want my wife to get
the best treatment money can buy.
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97. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't go nuts.
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98. Uh, better than that.
Perfect.
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99. Yeesh! I can't believe
she went home with those guys.
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100. Well, as you can see,
it's a compound fracture.
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101. The leg must remain motionless.
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102. Otherwise, a hunk of bone could
zoom right to her brain.
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103. I can't be in the hospital.
Tomorrow is laundry day.
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104. And I've gotta
de-meat Lisa's bologna.
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105. We'll be fine, honey.
The main thing is for you to get better.
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106. And don't worry. All the laundry and
dirty dishes will be there when you get back.
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107. No, they won't.
We'll all pitch in on the housework.
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108. Right, guys? Guys?
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109. - Get that! Whoo-hoo!
- Hey! Hey!
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110. Sweetie, it's nice that you want to take charge
around the house, but don't be a hero.
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111. Just make sure your father eats all his meals
over a tarp. But not the good tarp.
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112. I want you to get married
on that someday.
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113. Oh, Mom. I've seen what you do
around the house, and I can handle it.
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114. Maybe I can even
make things more efficient.
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115. Oh, really?
Well, knock yourself out.
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116. Just don't expect any miracles
from those two.
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117. Good Lord Your are wasting thousands of
dollar worth of interferon
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118. And you're "interferon"
with our good time.
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119. Well, I'll be.
That cured my canker sores.
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120. Morning.
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121. Dad, where are your clothes?
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122. I don't know.
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123. Don't tell me Mom dresses you.
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124. I guess. Or one of her friends.
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125. - Okay. Now we're gonna
draw jobs from the chore hat.
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126. Come on, bikini inspector.
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127. Scrub toilet?
Okay, that was a practice.
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128. Practice. Practice.
Okay, here we go.
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129. - Feed fish.
- I'll supervise.
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130. - The reason for the hat-
- Oh, it's a great hat. No one's questioning the hat.
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131. Will you at least do the dishes?
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132. Lisa, I'll do the dishes when I pick it
out of the chore hat and it's not a practice.
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133. See, there it is.
But that was a practice. The system worked.
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134. Come on.
Eat, you lazy fish.
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135. - Oh, you're gonna be late!
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136. Here are your lunches.
And no trading your fruit for firecrackers.
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137. Oh! But Lenny just got
some bottle rockets.
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138. You stay away from Lenny.
And where's your sweater, Bart?
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139. - It unraveled on a nail.
- That's not true. He left it on the bus.
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140. - You're dead, squealer!
- Ah, Lisa! Help!
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141. Those boys of mine.
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142. Mrs. Simpson!
What areyou doing?
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143. I couldn't sleep knowing
that window had a smudge on it.
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144. You're here to rest. If you want
the window cleaned, just push the call button.
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145. Oh, I don't want to be a bother.
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146. Wouldn't bother us.
It just turns up your morphine.
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147. Oh, so it does.
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148. Stop pushing that!
Mr. Sakamoto is here for your acupressure.
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149. Now, Mrs. Simpson,
just lie back and relax.
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150. Mr. Sakamoto wants you to be comfortable
while he does his thing.
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151. Oh, I don't think I need any-
Ooh. Oh, wow.
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152. - Okay, guys! Dinner's ready!
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153. The cheese isn't quite melted.
Let me just pop it back in the-
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154. - Here you go.
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155. Hmm.
Slivered almonds for the green beans.
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156. I'll be right back.
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157. - So how was your day?
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158. Ohh.
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159. - Bart, you were supposed to scour the pans.
- They need to soak.
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160. You said that four days ago.
Look! They're rusted through.
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161. - It's an illusion.
- No, it's not!
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162. - I got the groceries.
- Good.
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163. Maple soda?
A cell phone full of candy?
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164. - Astronaut bread?
- It's the bread of astronauts.
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165. I didn't know Aerosmith
made a cereal.
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166. Dad, I gave you a list.
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167. Oh, yeah.
You were way off.
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168. - Hello? Lollipop Island?
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169. There's a little girl here
who had too many sour balls.
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170. - Anyway, where were we?
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171. Hello? Hello?
They hung up.
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172. - Talk to me.
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173. Hey, Mom!
How's the leg?
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174. Leg? Oh! Oh, that.
It's pretty great.
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175. - How are things at home?
- Oh, couldn't be better.
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176. - Marco.
- Polo.
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177. - Marco.
- Polo.
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178. - Marc- Ohh!
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179. - Polo.
- So, Mom, you think you'll be
getting out of there soon?
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180. I don't know, honey.
I've got a lot of therapy left.
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181. - I really thought I could handle this, but-
- I think so too. Bye.
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182. - Uhh.
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183. - Lucy!
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184. - You hit her pretty hard there, Rick.
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185. [Man #3 ]
Say, folks, what's all the ruckus?
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186. - John Wayne?
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187. Will you guys
turn that thing down?
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188. Sweetie, if we didn't turn it down
for the cops, what chance do you have?
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189. - He hit her again!
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190. Stupid- A bunch of jerks-
I can't believe it.
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191. - Losing your marbles, huh, kid?
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192. - Lucy?
- Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo Carmichael.
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193. And I think there's some more.
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194. - What are you doing here?
- I came from heaven to help you
get revenge on these bums.
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195. Is there an ashtray around here?
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196. - Will this do?
- Thanks, doll.
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197. Now we need a scheme
to teach those slobs a lesson.
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198. You mean like when you hid
inside the conga drum to scare Ricky?
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199. Hey! Stay away from the drums!
That's my bit.
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200. - I got it.
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201. Here's what you do.
Wait until they fall asleep.
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202. Then you sneak into their rooms
and make sure they're fast asleep because-
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203. My skin! My beautiful skin!
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204. - Lisa, help!
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205. Oh. What's wrong with us?
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206. Oh, I don't like the looks of this.
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207. - You don't? 'Cause that's what I said. Tell her, Bart.
- Shut up! Shut up!
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208. We better check with a doctor.
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209. Welcome to Virtual Doctor.
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210. From the makers of Dragon Quest
and Sim Sandwich.
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211. Enter symptoms now.
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212. - Let's see. Crusty sores.
- Yes.
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213. - Horrible wailing.
- Yes! Yes!
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214. Any exposure to unsanitary conditions?
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215. Duh! We're pigs!
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216. Okay. And diagnose.
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217. You've got leprosy.
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218. Leprosy!
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219. Unclean! Unclean!
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220. Help us, Virtual Doc.
Look at me. I'm on my knees.
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221. Good-bye.
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222. Excellent.
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223. Leprosy! I can't believe it!
That fortune cookie was right!
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224. Why would God punish a kid?
I mean, an American kid?
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225. Now, guys, leprosy thrives
in filthy conditions.
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226. So your only chance
is to clean up the house.
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227. - I'll get you a couple of mops.
- Mops?
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228. The cure sounds worse
than the disease.
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229. At Sunday school, they said the lepers
were cured by some bearded dude.
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230. - Jesus?
- Yeah, that sounds right.
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231. I think we're on the outs with him.
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232. But I know someone
who's even holier than Jesus.
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233. Hi-diddly-ho. I- Oh!
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234. Maude, come quick!
The Simpsons are covered with cooties!
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235. - Help us.
- We're diseased.
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236. Oh, no. That's leprosy.
Remember those scary lepers in Ben-Hur?
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237. - You saw Ben-Hur without me?
- We were broken up then.
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238. - Well, that's no-
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239. Brains. Brains.
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240. - Use your brains to help us. Your delicious brains.
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241. Oh, those poor souls.
What's the Christian thing to do?
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242. Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, you wonderful man.
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243. All right! Food!
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244. Bart! Leave some for Rod and Todd.
Hereyou go, lad.
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245. Todd, no!
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246. Uh, listen, Homer,
we'd love to help you...
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247. but we're not really
set up for lepers.
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248. Soyou're shunning us.
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249. No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm just thinking
we could send you to a better place.
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250. You know, a place where they
could really take care of you.
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251. Oh, thank you, good sir!
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252. Ooh, that smarts.
Boys, get the alcohol-free alcohol.
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253. Marge, we'll just get this cast off
and you can go home to-
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254. - Oh, my Lord!
- Well, it has been a week.
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255. Code blue! A thousand c.c.'s
of leg wax! Stat!
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256. Lazy, no-good lepers.
Making me clean everything myself.
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257. - Hey, uh, is Homer there?
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258. No, he isn't.
I don't know where he is.
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259. I'm a little worried. He usually stops in
for an eye-opener on the way to work.
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260. He told us
he'd been going to the gym.
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261. Wow.
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262. Anyway, you don't think he could be
at another bar, do you?
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263. Because I couldn't take that.
I- I just couldn't. I-
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264. Don't hang up on me.
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265. I'm home, everybody!
Gee, the house looks great.
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266. - Mom, I lost Dad and Bart.
- Lost them? What do you mean?
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267. I tricked them into thinking
they had leprosy.
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268. Hansen's disease. You know,
like that horrible cream soda.
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269. Well, Dad and Bart ran away,
and no one seems to know where they went.
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270. Okay. Okay. Calm down.
They couldn't have gone too far.
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271. - Molokai?
- You mean Hawaii?
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272. Mm-hmm. That's the one.
They've got a top-notch leper colony there...
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273. so we shipped 'em right off.
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274. Cost us a bundle too. I guess we'll have
an imagination Christmas this year.
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275. Yea! Imagination Christmas!
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276. - I got a pogo stick.
- I got a hula hoop.
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277. Ew!
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278. Ew!
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279. - Whoa! This is a hospital?
- That it is.
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280. We'll take the cure,
bag a few lobsters...
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281. then watch some gay guys
get married.
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282. - Ah, you must be the Simpsons.
- Howdy.
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283. And thanks for not
recoiling in horror.
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284. - Thank you for the friendly howdy.
- Can we get a room with a view?
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285. Oh, you'll have a great view of the whole
beach from the electric needle room.
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286. - Really? The whole beach?
- Yes. From the electric needle room.
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287. Electric needle room?
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288. - Glad that's not me.
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289. - Time to turn over.
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290. Here they are.
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291. Oh, thank God you're all right.
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292. Dad, Bart, I played a horrible trick on you,
and I'm really sorry.
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293. You don't have leprosy.
It's just oatmeal.
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294. - Yeah, we know.
- I figured it out after I ate one of my chest sores.
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295. Well, then let's get out of here.
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296. - No way. We scored a free Hawaiian vacation.
- This place is a blast.
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297. All we have to do is endure
two hours of blinding pain.
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298. Then it's nothing
but shopping and surfing.
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299. Tonight we're gonna
put our fake sores back on...
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300. then jump the fence at Club Med
and scare the normals.
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301. Well, it all sounds lovely, but-
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302. Come on. Loosen up.
This is paradise.
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303. Number one,
report to the dermabrasion hut.
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304. That's me.
Do do do do, Da da da da
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305. Aloha-
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306. - Aloha- Ow!
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307. Until we meet a-
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308. Until we meet a-
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309. - Shh!
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310. You hit herpretty hard there, Rick.
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