1. D'oh! (screams)Copy !req
2. Is this the kind of airCopy !req
3. we want to leave for our children?Copy !req
4. Don't they deserve better?Copy !req
5. Electricity,
the fuel of the future.Copy !req
6. Test-drive the Elec-Taurus todayCopy !req
7. and get a free gift.Copy !req
8. My children deserve to see meCopy !req
9. get a free gift.Copy !req
10. I'm proud of you, Dad.Copy !req
11. Buying an electric car
will help clean the air upCopy !req
12. and protect the earth's supply—Copy !req
13. You're faking this
to get the gift, aren't you?Copy !req
14. But I like the nice things
you said about me.Copy !req
15. Thinking of saying good-bye to gas?Copy !req
16. You betcha. (burps)Copy !req
17. Bart! (farts)Copy !req
18. Well, that shut me up.Copy !req
19. Hello. I, uh, love your planet deeplyCopy !req
20. and I'm interested in purchasingCopy !req
21. one of your electronic autos.Copy !req
22. Well, it's always nice to meet peopleCopy !req
23. concerned about the environment.Copy !req
24. What kind of mint?Copy !req
25. Boy, that quiet engineCopy !req
26. sure makes conversation a lot easier.Copy !req
27. Yeah, it's got
a lot of other problems, too.Copy !req
28. Uh, Dad, you're headed for the harbor!Copy !req
29. Relax. We're in an electric car.Copy !req
30. See, everything's fine.Copy !req
31. (gasps) Dolphins.Copy !req
32. Oopsie.Copy !req
33. Hi, girls.Copy !req
34. Oh...Copy !req
35. Saltwater seems to be good for it.Copy !req
36. Um, I'm sorry,Copy !req
37. the car does not meet my eco-concern.Copy !req
38. Can I have my prize now?Copy !req
39. Certainly.Copy !req
40. What the...Copy !req
41. Help! Help! It burns!Copy !req
42. Hey, we never opened that envelopeCopy !req
43. to see what our gift is.Copy !req
44. We didn't?Copy !req
45. That's odd.Copy !req
46. Seems like we would have done thatCopy !req
47. right after we left the car place.Copy !req
48. I know, but we didn't.Copy !req
49. Well, here it is.Copy !req
50. So we can open it and find out now.Copy !req
51. Perfect.Copy !req
52. Aw, movie tickets?Copy !req
53. It hardly seems worth destroying a car.Copy !req
54. They're passes to a test screeningCopy !req
55. of a new movie starring...Copy !req
56. Mel Gibson.Copy !req
57. Who else is in it?Copy !req
58. Who cares? Mel Gibson.Copy !req
59. Mel Gibson is just a guy, Marge.Copy !req
60. No different than me or Lenny.Copy !req
61. Were you or Lenny ever named
sexiest man alive?Copy !req
62. Hmm, I'm not certain about Lenny.Copy !req
63. Besides, it's not just
his chiseled good looks.Copy !req
64. People magazine says
he's a devoted father,Copy !req
65. goes to church every week,Copy !req
66. and likes to fix things around the...Copy !req
67. - Homer, let's make love.
- Uh, okay.Copy !req
68. Uh, you're thinking about me, right?Copy !req
69. Of course, Homie.Copy !req
70. Aren't you thinking about me?Copy !req
71. Well, I will now!Copy !req
72. Easy, easy, there, buster.Copy !req
73. But how did they know?Copy !req
74. I had a mouse.Copy !req
75. Thank you.Copy !req
76. (clearing throat) Good evening.Copy !req
77. I'm Edward Christian,Copy !req
78. Assistant VP of finance and distributionCopy !req
79. at Polystar Pictures.Copy !req
80. Dang, I should have brought the camera.Copy !req
81. Also with me tonight are the dynamic duo,Copy !req
82. William Milo and Robin HannahCopy !req
83. who green-lighted all
of Shaquille O'Neal's movies,Copy !req
84. including Kazaam!Copy !req
85. How's the popcorn, guys?Copy !req
86. - Needs salt!
- Needs salt!Copy !req
87. Anyhoo, welcome to our test screeningCopy !req
88. of Mel Gibson's directorial
follow-up to Braveheart,Copy !req
89. a remake of the Jimmy Stewart classic,Copy !req
90. Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.Copy !req
91. I knew I shouldn't have passed on that.Copy !req
92. Now, after the film,Copy !req
93. I'll be handing out these cards
for your opinion.Copy !req
94. We then take your cardsCopy !req
95. to Hollywood, California.Copy !req
96. And change the movie
based on your suggestions.Copy !req
97. Any, uh, questions?Copy !req
98. Yes. Over here and thank you.Copy !req
99. (clears throat) Hi. Will there beCopy !req
100. any Flubber in this movie?Copy !req
101. Uh-hi. Glayvin.Copy !req
102. (laughs) No, I'm afraid not.Copy !req
103. Ah, for cryin' out, Glayvin!Copy !req
104. Is Mel Gibson here?Copy !req
105. No, sorry, but like all celebrities,Copy !req
106. he's in Hollywood attending
benefits for various diseases.Copy !req
107. - (gasping)
- Did they like it?Copy !req
108. Well, they haven't seen it yet, Mel.Copy !req
109. How'd you get here from LA so fast?Copy !req
110. John Travolta flew me in his jet.Copy !req
111. Now I have to help him move next weekend.Copy !req
112. He deliberately waitedCopy !req
113. till we were in the air to ask me.Copy !req
114. You know, you really didn't have
to make this trip, Mel.Copy !req
115. The screening is going to go fine.
Believe me.Copy !req
116. I don't know. I think this movie
was a big mistake.Copy !req
117. All I do is talk for two hours.Copy !req
118. I don't shoot anybody.
What was I thinking?Copy !req
119. You shouldn't worry about the movie.Copy !req
120. William and I both think it's fabulous.Copy !req
121. And I think we know a little somethingCopy !req
122. about the movie business.Copy !req
123. (chuckles) Oh, Robin. You've got to seeCopy !req
124. the director's cut of Booty Call.Copy !req
125. It's fabulous.Copy !req
126. What, even better than the original?Copy !req
127. 'Cause that was pretty fabulous, too.Copy !req
128. And he fought for them once.Copy !req
129. For the only reason any man ever doesCopy !req
130. because of one plain, simple rule:Copy !req
131. Love thy neighbor.Copy !req
132. Boring.Copy !req
133. It's not boring.Copy !req
134. He's passionate about government.Copy !req
135. Pft. At least the Jimmy Stewart versionCopy !req
136. had that giant rabbit
who ran the savings and loan.Copy !req
137. Shh!Copy !req
138. Excellent.Copy !req
139. That man knows how to filibuster.Copy !req
140. Well, that was a stinker.Copy !req
141. I liked it.Copy !req
142. It was nice to see a movieCopy !req
143. where people
solve their problems with wordsCopy !req
144. instead of bullets and chasing.Copy !req
145. Oh, you're just saying thatCopy !req
146. because your boyfriend was in it.Copy !req
147. I'll bet you would have hated itCopy !req
148. if me and Lenny were Mr. Smith.Copy !req
149. Will you stop acting so jealous!Copy !req
150. Listen, I don't want
to get spotted by the crowd,Copy !req
151. so I'm going to take
a leak behind the dumpster.Copy !req
152. Look! It's Mel Gibson.Copy !req
153. Hey, everybody rush over there.Copy !req
154. Hi, Mel. Hi.Copy !req
155. Hi, Mel, Mel.Copy !req
156. Hi, everybody.Copy !req
157. Hi, Mr. Gibson.Copy !req
158. Thanks for coming, folks.Copy !req
159. And don't be afraid
to be completely truthfulCopy !req
160. when you fill out your opinion cards.Copy !req
161. Honesty is the foundation
of the movie business.Copy !req
162. Oh, we'll be honest. (chuckles)Copy !req
163. We could never lie to you, Mel. (chuckles)Copy !req
164. Um, will you be readingCopy !req
165. the cards yourself, Mel?Copy !req
166. Well, I'll be reading yours personally.Copy !req
167. That's it. I'm telling
Mr. Stupidest man aliveCopy !req
168. what I really thought of his movie.Copy !req
169. - Hey, Gibson!
- Uh, yes, sir.Copy !req
170. - Got a pencil?
- There you go.Copy !req
171. Thanks.Copy !req
172. (muttering) You waste my time
in front of this stupid—Copy !req
173. Appreciate it. (grunts)Copy !req
174. The movie tested through the roof, Mel.Copy !req
175. The sea captain gave it "Four Arrrrs."Copy !req
176. Bumblebee man says, "Muy bueno."Copy !req
177. And we were worried about
the Latino market, huh?Copy !req
178. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- Huh? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
179. Worried.Copy !req
180. Come on, they can't all have loved it.Copy !req
181. "Loved it."Loved it."Loved it."Copy !req
182. "Loved it despite absence
of Flubber, Glayvin"?Copy !req
183. Oh, here we go. "Your movieCopy !req
184. was more boring than church.Copy !req
185. All you did was yak, yak, yak.Copy !req
186. You didn't even shoot anybody."
Damn, I knew it!Copy !req
187. Oh, don't do this to yourself, Mel.Copy !req
188. The guy's obviously a nut.Copy !req
189. Maybe. Or maybe he's the only personCopy !req
190. with the guts to tell me the truth.Copy !req
191. Turn the plane around.Copy !req
192. I want to go to 742 Evergreen Terrace.Copy !req
193. But you promised to help me move.Copy !req
194. Oh, geez!Copy !req
195. - (doorbell ringing)
- Door, Marge.Copy !req
196. I'm looking for... Homer Simpson.Copy !req
197. And I've been looking for you, too, pal.Copy !req
198. Pound him, Dad.Copy !req
199. Bart, don't.Copy !req
200. Quiet. Dad's going to get
his butt kicked by Mel Gibson.Copy !req
201. Knock his teeth out, Homer!Copy !req
202. Listen, Gibson, I'm tired
of Hollywood pretty boysCopy !req
203. like you and Jack ValentiCopy !req
204. thinking you can have any woman you want.Copy !req
205. You see this?Copy !req
206. It symbolizes that she's my propertyCopy !req
207. and I own her.Copy !req
208. Mr. Simpson, I need your help.Copy !req
209. Uh?Copy !req
210. I think you're right about my movie,Copy !req
211. and I want you to help me make it better.Copy !req
212. Really? You want my help?Copy !req
213. Marge, did you hear that?Copy !req
214. Mel Gibson wants my help.Copy !req
215. Mel Gibson.Copy !req
216. But, Dad, I thought you hated...Copy !req
217. Shut up.Copy !req
218. Homer doesn't know anything
about making movies.Copy !req
219. Don't sell your husband
short, Mrs. Simpson.Copy !req
220. She's always doing that, Mel.Copy !req
221. - Oh...
- Homer is a brutally honest man.Copy !req
222. Completely tactless and insensitive.Copy !req
223. (giggles) Guilty as charged.Copy !req
224. The problem I have isCopy !req
225. people love me so much,
they never criticize me.Copy !req
226. I speed all the time,
but cops never give me a ticket.Copy !req
227. If I don't pay my taxes,Copy !req
228. the IRS pays them for me.Copy !req
229. Oh, you poor thing.Copy !req
230. It's hell being Mel.Copy !req
231. Come on. Geez.Copy !req
232. I don't have much time, Homer.Copy !req
233. Will you come to Hollywood with me?Copy !req
234. (sniffs) You had me at "hello."Copy !req
235. I didn't say "hello."Copy !req
236. Hollywood, here we come!Copy !req
237. Hollywood, here we are!Copy !req
238. Stop doing that, Mom.Copy !req
239. A mini-van.Copy !req
240. Oh, boy, you celebrities
sure know how to live.Copy !req
241. What is this, Toyota Previa?Copy !req
242. Dodge Caravan.Copy !req
243. Sweet.Copy !req
244. Look, they're making a movie!Copy !req
245. Robert Downey Jr. is shooting it outCopy !req
246. with the police.Copy !req
247. I don't see any cameras.Copy !req
248. Okay, while Mel and I are working,Copy !req
249. why don't you guys do the town?Copy !req
250. I hear all the stars eat at a placeCopy !req
251. called Planet Hollywood.Copy !req
252. Can I stay with you, Dad?Copy !req
253. Sorry, son, but we're going
to be very busy.Copy !req
254. Mel's movie really stinks.Copy !req
255. Okay, this opening sceneCopy !req
256. should be in fast motion.Copy !req
257. Everybody likes that
'cause it looks funny.Copy !req
258. (talking in fast motion)
Mr. Smith is coming to Washington.Copy !req
259. He's really honest, that could be bad news
for us corrupt politicians.Copy !req
260. - Well, if he is, big deal.
- How do you figure?Copy !req
261. If he doesn't play ball, we'll teach him
a thing or two if you know what I mean.Copy !req
262. - Bye-bye.
- See ya.Copy !req
263. (laughing) Look at that.Copy !req
264. I don't think so.Copy !req
265. Okay, here you need a musical montageCopy !req
266. where you try on lots of funny hats.Copy !req
267. It'll let us see your playful side.Copy !req
268. - No. Just no.
- Yeah, but...Copy !req
269. Uh, for those of you
who have always wanted to seeCopy !req
270. the famous Brown Derby restaurant...Copy !req
271. - Oh.
- ... that's where it used to be.Copy !req
272. - Oh.
- And on your left,Copy !req
273. is the notorious spot where Hugh Grant...Copy !req
274. - Hugh?
- ... filmed the movieCopy !req
275. - Nine Months.
- Eww!Copy !req
276. You want me to replace
the villain with a dog?Copy !req
277. I mean, nobody will know what's going on.Copy !req
278. They will if you set up
that the dog is evil.Copy !req
279. All you have to do
is show him doing this...Copy !req
280. And people will suspect the dog.Copy !req
281. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, Homer.Copy !req
282. I'm sorry I dragged you out here.Copy !req
283. Let me pay your bus fare home.Copy !req
284. Uh-uh-uh, now, here'sCopy !req
285. your biggest problem of all.Copy !req
286. The filibuster scene?Copy !req
287. That was Jimmy Stewart's favorite.Copy !req
288. And it was fine for the 1930s.Copy !req
289. The country was doing great back then.Copy !req
290. Everyone was into talking.Copy !req
291. But now, in whatever year this is,Copy !req
292. the audience wants action,Copy !req
293. and seats with beverage holders,Copy !req
294. but mainly action.Copy !req
295. You really think the end is boring?Copy !req
296. Oh, Mel, it's the most
boring piece of garbageCopy !req
297. I've ever seen.Copy !req
298. And it's not easy for me to say that.Copy !req
299. Hmm, I guess it's a little flat.Copy !req
300. Okay, let's reshoot the ending.Copy !req
301. I'll call the hair and makeup ladies,Copy !req
302. you see if the teamsters
will work for free.Copy !req
303. Piece of cake.Copy !req
304. Now, where's that kid with my latte?Copy !req
305. According to the map,Copy !req
306. this house is ownedCopy !req
307. - by the dog from Frasier.
- (dog barking)Copy !req
308. And that's where Ellen Degeneres
and Anne Heche live.Copy !req
309. - We're lesbians!
- We're lesbians!Copy !req
310. Okay, uh, this new ending...Copy !req
311. that we shot last night...Copy !req
312. is a little different than what we had,Copy !req
313. but I think you'll like it.Copy !req
314. It's missing some sound effects,Copy !req
315. and the computer guys haven't added
the twinkle in my eye.Copy !req
316. Mel, you're coming off desperate.Copy !req
317. Roll it, Louie!Copy !req
318. Here comes two.Copy !req
319. Well, I'm not licked.Copy !req
320. And I'm going to stay right hereCopy !req
321. and fight for this lost cause.Copy !req
322. Somebody will listen to me.Copy !req
323. Somebody will...Copy !req
324. I believe the senator
has yielded the floor.Copy !req
325. Yield this, Senator Payne.Copy !req
326. I move we impose some serious term limits.Copy !req
327. I second that motion...Copy !req
328. with a vengeance.Copy !req
329. All in favor, say "die."Copy !req
330. Mr. Smith, this is highly unorthodox.Copy !req
331. I'm the President of the United StatesCopy !req
332. and I demand to know what's going on here.Copy !req
333. Happy birthday, Mr. President.Copy !req
334. Pretty cool, huh?Copy !req
335. You, uh, you chopped offCopy !req
336. the president's head.Copy !req
337. Bet you didn't see that coming.Copy !req
338. You impaled a United States SenatorCopy !req
339. with the American flag.Copy !req
340. Why did Mr. Smith kill everybody?Copy !req
341. It was symbolism.Copy !req
342. He was mad.Copy !req
343. But this was going to be
the studio's prestige pictureCopy !req
344. like Howard's End or Sophie's Choice.Copy !req
345. Eww, those movies sucked.Copy !req
346. I only saw them
to get Marge into the sack.Copy !req
347. PS: Mission accomplished.Copy !req
348. But we've already bought
five Golden Globe Awards.Copy !req
349. I don't make movies to win awards,Copy !req
350. especially now that I have two Oscars.Copy !req
351. I make movies for guys like him.Copy !req
352. - Yeah, guys like me.
- Who are you anyway?Copy !req
353. Do the words "executive producer"Copy !req
354. mean anything to you?Copy !req
355. - Executive producer?
- We'll talk.Copy !req
356. You've desecrated a classic film.Copy !req
357. This is worse than Godfather III.Copy !req
358. Whoa. Whoa, hey, whoa,Copy !req
359. let's not say things we can't take back.Copy !req
360. All right, all right, I'm sorry,Copy !req
361. but this filmCopy !req
362. is never going to see the light of day.Copy !req
363. Look, they're towing away a range rover.Copy !req
364. There's no...
- Yoink! Come on, Homer.Copy !req
365. We got a movie to premiere.Copy !req
366. Woo-hoo!
- We've got to get that film backCopy !req
367. or we'll all be fired.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
368. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fired.
- Huh? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
369. - Give us the film!
- Never.Copy !req
370. And on your left,Copy !req
371. you'll see Rainier WolfcastleCopy !req
372. filming his latest movie,
Saving Irene Ryan.Copy !req
373. You put me down, you big lummox!Copy !req
374. Jed!Copy !req
375. Shut up, old lady,
and stop kicking me there.Copy !req
376. - Watch out! Coming through!
- (people yelling)Copy !req
377. Move!Copy !req
378. Homer! Land mine!Copy !req
379. I'm on it.Copy !req
380. Good night, Mr. Gibson.Copy !req
381. Night, Gus.Copy !req
382. Oh, I'm getting too old for this crap.Copy !req
383. How old are you anyway?Copy !req
384. Well, I've been told I can play
anywhere from 28 to—Copy !req
385. Sorry I asked.Copy !req
386. Aw, crap, here they come.Copy !req
387. Well, that's it, Homer.Copy !req
388. We should have known better
than to match witsCopy !req
389. with studio executives.Copy !req
390. Hey, come on, turn that
down-under frown upside down.Copy !req
391. We're not finished yet.Copy !req
392. Wow, these dummies look pretty good.Copy !req
393. Well, I've had a lot of surgery, old chum.Copy !req
394. Shh. Mr. Limato said he'd fire usCopy !req
395. if you didn't stop bothering
the customers.Copy !req
396. Homer, what are you doing here?Copy !req
397. No time talk. Need steal car.Copy !req
398. Must save powerful,
but controversial movie. (gasp)Copy !req
399. Hello.Copy !req
400. Quick, Mel, get in.Copy !req
401. (sighs) Forget it, Homer.Copy !req
402. Let's just give them the stupid movie.Copy !req
403. Movies aren't stupid.Copy !req
404. They fill us with romance and hatredCopy !req
405. and revenge fantasies.Copy !req
406. Lethal Weapon showed us
that suicide is funny.Copy !req
407. That really wasn't my intention.Copy !req
408. Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thoughtCopy !req
409. there could be a bomb in my toilet.Copy !req
410. But now I check every time.Copy !req
411. It's true. He does.Copy !req
412. Movies mean that much to you, Homer?Copy !req
413. They're my only escapeCopy !req
414. from the drudgery of work and family.Copy !req
415. - No offense.
- Oh, what the heck.Copy !req
416. Let's hit the road.Copy !req
417. Shove over, junior.Copy !req
418. That thoughtless destructionCopy !req
419. will surely bankrupt the museum, old chum.Copy !req
420. Shut up.Copy !req
421. Mom, you got to take
my picture in this carCopy !req
422. so I can show Milhouse.Copy !req
423. Oh, sorry, honey.Copy !req
424. I used up the last roll on that manCopy !req
425. I thought was Judge Judy.Copy !req
426. Well, I think we lost them.Copy !req
427. Oh, wait. There they are. (grunts)Copy !req
428. Let me try something.
Take the wheel, Lisa.Copy !req
429. - But my dad can—
- I said you.Copy !req
430. We've got them now.Copy !req
431. Oh, no! We killed Mel Gibson!Copy !req
432. You all saw it.Copy !req
433. He came at me with a knife, right?Copy !req
434. Wait a minute. He's just a dummy.Copy !req
435. I know, but he sells tickets.Copy !req
436. Let's go.Copy !req
437. Oh, great idea, Mel.Copy !req
438. Now it's my turn.Copy !req
439. - What are you doing?
- I'm tired of running away.Copy !req
440. Did Braveheart run away?Copy !req
441. Did Payback run away?Copy !req
442. It's time we showed those suitsCopy !req
443. what we're made of.Copy !req
444. The heck is that?Copy !req
445. Well, the one on the left is Mel Gibson.Copy !req
446. I don't know who the other two guys are.Copy !req
447. Will you please tell me
the rest of the plan?Copy !req
448. It's your plan from Braveheart.Copy !req
449. Your army mooned the enemyCopy !req
450. until they could take no moreCopy !req
451. and surrendered.Copy !req
452. No. They didn't. They attacked usCopy !req
453. in a horribly bloody battle, remember?Copy !req
454. Actually, I didn't see it,
but on the poster...Copy !req
455. Jump!Copy !req
456. Homer, are you okay?Copy !req
457. I think so.Copy !req
458. No.Copy !req
459. MR. All in favor, say, "die."Copy !req
460. Ooh, that digital soundCopy !req
461. really lets you hear the blood splatter.Copy !req
462. I don't get it, Mel.Copy !req
463. How can you be so calm and cool?Copy !req
464. My stomach's full of vomiting butterflies.Copy !req
465. Okay, that's it.Copy !req
466. Let's get ready to meet our public.Copy !req
467. Oh, well, that was disgusting.Copy !req
468. Worst ending ever.Copy !req
469. I think I'm going to be sick.Copy !req
470. I'm Jimmy Stewart's granddaughter,Copy !req
471. and you'll be hearing from my attorney.Copy !req
472. - D'oh.
- Ow.Copy !req
473. Oh, we should have put in the dogCopy !req
474. with the shifty eyes.Copy !req
475. Oh!Copy !req
476. I'm sorry I ruined your career, Mel.Copy !req
477. It's not your fault, Homer.Copy !req
478. I guess there's just no roomCopy !req
479. in today's crazy, gentle AmericaCopy !req
480. for violent dinosaurs like us.Copy !req
481. How did the country lose its way, Mel?Copy !req
482. When did we stop rootingCopy !req
483. for the man with the flame throwerCopy !req
484. or an acid-spraying gun of some kind?Copy !req
485. I blame the internet
and the return of swing music.Copy !req
486. Well, whatever it is,Copy !req
487. we got to get rolling on our next picture.Copy !req
488. Hey, what about a prequel or something?Copy !req
489. Everybody loves prequels.Copy !req
490. - I don't.
- (grumbles)Copy !req
491. Okay, Mr. Difficult.Copy !req
492. How about a teen sex rompCopy !req
493. where you and your buddiesCopy !req
494. are always trying to get some?Copy !req
495. No, wait. A ghost who wins the lottery!Copy !req
496. You could be the ghost
or the lottery commissioner.Copy !req
497. Ooh! What about Indiana Jones?Copy !req
498. Does anyone own the rights to that?Copy !req
499. Ohh!Copy !req
500. Hey, Mel, I fell out!Copy !req
501. - (murmuring)
- Shh!Copy !req
502. Captioned by
Visual Data Media ServicesCopy !req