The Simpsons 10x20

Jack LaLanne as Jack LaLanne (voice)

When Bart ruins Springfield's chance to host the Olympics, the kids are sentenced to community service work at the retirement home. To help the residents recapture their youth, Bart takes them on an ill-fated boat ride.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'oh!

2. Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.

3. - Mmm. - Hey.

4. Ah, but Paris would make a très bon site

5. for the next Olympic Games.

6. And, uh, why is that?

7. We don't have to explain ourselves

8. to the likes of you.

9. I await your reply.

10. I recommend Moscow

11. where the American dollar buys seven rubles.

12. - 12 rubles.

13. - 60 rubles.

14. - 1,000 rubles.

15. I must go!

16. - I suggest Motown. - Detroit?

17. No, no. Mongolia town, home of the Motown sound.

18. You are all crazy. The answer is Buenos Aires.

19. - Hokkaido. - Budapest.

20. - Cleveland. - England.

21. - London. - Bangkok.

22. People! People, please. You're forgetting

23. what the Olympics are all about.

24. Giving out medals of beautiful gold,

25. so-so silver and shameful bronze.

26. I have here a letter

27. from a little girl named Lisa Simpson.

28. She says her town might not be important enough

29. to host the Olympics,

30. but she asks if the torch could just pass by

31. so she can experience the glow

32. that we feel every day.

33. Well, I say we don't bring her the torch.

34. I say we bring her the Olympic Games!

35. Who is with me?

36. Well, I don't care. It's my decision.

37. Springfield was shocked today

38. to learn it will host the next Olympics.

39. Economists predict our city will experience the same boom

40. that Sarajevo enjoyed after the 1984 games.

41. And it's all because of your letter, Lisa.

42. Well, actually, I just wrote it for a school assignment.

43. Everyone else wrote to the Backstreet Boys.

44. To honor the arrival of our foreign friends and enemies,

45. Channel Six is sponsoring a contest to find

46. a Springfield Olympic mascot.

47. The winner will join such other memorable mascots

48. as the Atlanta "Whatzit"

49. and the Montreal "Vampire."

50. A mascot contest?

51. I'm sure to win that...

52. unless one of you jinxes me.

53. No one's going to jinx you, Homer.

54. In fact, we're rooting for you.

55. Yeah! Go for the gold, Dad!

56. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

57. Well, you said I couldn't do it,

58. but here it is.

59. Meet Abby, the Olympic tabby.

60. How did you get the eyes to move?

61. You papier-mâche'd my cat?

62. Just for the prototype, honey.

63. - Huh?

64. Knowing you always hate my first idea,

65. I prepared a backup.

66. How about a big Olympic hello

67. for Springy, the Springfield spring?

68. Those aren't the dog's eyes, are they?

69. Hey, that's cute.

70. Good work, Dad.

71. It's fun for the whole family

72. and the ends are razor-sharp

73. to protect our nation and its interests.

74. Ow!

75. God bless America!

76. Hit the road, Lefty!

77. You, too, Rizzo.

78. - Oh, Cinnamon.

79. Don't make this harder than it already is.

80. Bravo, Springfield.

81. I've never seen such a clean sewer.

82. And we are positively inspired by your solar power plant.

83. Yes, love that sun, man.

84. And we will do anything

85. including but not limited to anything

86. to make your stay here tolerable.

87. Yes, you'll be completely above the law.

88. Uh, women, guns, cash...

89. uh, whatever you need, it's yours.

90. And that's not all.

91. We've just chosen our official Olympic mascot.

92. They picked Springy!

93. In your face, Patty and Selma.

94. Well, we still love you, Ciggy.

95. Yeah.

96. Mmm... That glue really gives it a pop.

97. And now, because the children are our future,

98. here are the children of Springfield Elementary

99. with a song they call "The Children Are Our Future."

100. Children?

101. I've never wanted a beer worse in my life.

102. I love you, honey.

103. Are you talking to me or the beer?

104. To you my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.

105. Bravo!

106. Magnifique!

107. Muy bueno.

108. It gives me great pride to officially declare

109. the next Olympics will be held right here in—

110. Wait, wait. We have one more act.

111. The patriotic comedy stylings of Bart Simpson.

112. Oh, Bart.

113. Thank you, thank you.

114. So, uh, you're from Russia, huh?

115. Da!

116. - You drunk yet? - Da.

117. Poland, eh? Ha.

118. Too easy.

119. How you doing, Germany?

120. Here's my impression of an East German

121. Kiss me, or I'll crush you.

122. He says what we're all thinking.

123. I'm not thinking that.

124. Hey, Swiss miss.

125. There no missing you, babe.

126. - Lay off the cocoa.

127. Now, I'd like to say one last thing

128. to our Olympic representatives.

129. If there was a medal for horrible audiences,

130. you'd get the gold.

131. Peace out.

132. Skinner!

133. How could you put this boy on with that horrible material?

134. Well, it really did seem funny in rehearsal.

135. And he didn't even get to his Ubangi routine.

136. Ha, ha, ha. Laugh it up, you punks,

137. 'cause you and Jan Murray here

138. just cost our town the Olympics.

139. Hey, Chalmers, where are you from?

140. I... Oh, well, I was born in Queens,

141. went to Ball State,

142. then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

143. Uh, why do you ask?

144. Don't worry, sir.

145. I'll teach these children respect for their town.

146. I'm assigning each of you 20 hours of community service.

147. Oh.

148. Community service?

149. No, no!

150. "Intercourse"?

151. What if we refuse?

152. You won't pass to the next grade.

153. I fail to see the threat.

154. Skinner! Good idea.

155. Now, if you'll excuse me,

156. I'm off to vacation at Lake Titicaca.

157. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.

158. All right, Martin, for your community service

159. you'll be setting up a midnight basketball program

160. for inner-city street gangs.

161. All right, gang, shirts and skins.

162. Let's hustle!

163. Milhouse, do you like the beach?

164. Who doesn't?

165. Good.

166. I want you to pick up all this medical waste

167. that's washed up on the shore here.

168. Ow! I pricked myself.

169. Well, just keep working.

170. You'll prick yourself with the antidote

171. - sooner or later.

172. What are you going to do to me?

173. Bart, not all community service is gang warfare

174. and dangerous infection, and to illustrate that point,

175. here's where you'll be working.

176. The fireworks, candy and puppy dog store?

177. No, no, no. Next to it.

178. Settle a bet, boil or mole?

179. OK, just breathe through your mouth

180. and don't ask how they're feeling.

181. Oh, man.

182. Whoa!

183. Oh, aren't you beautiful.

184. - Let's pull his skin.

185. Look at that.

186. Oh, be a dear and snap my support hose to my girdle.

187. Two o'clock. Recreation time.

188. Phew. Saved by the bell. Whoa.

189. Where do you think you're going?

190. Oh, no, Lis. They got you, too?

191. Got me? What are you talking about?

192. I've been volunteering here for a year.

193. Hello, let's hear some numbers.

194. I got a nice diagonal going here.

195. B-3.

196. You sunk my battleship.

197. G-52.

198. You sunk my battleship.

199. Oh, I got a bingo! What do I win?

200. A banana!

201. A whole one?

202. Yep.

203. That's the prize? A banana?

204. Their natural mushiness prevents choking

205. and promotes regularity.

206. They're not babies, Lisa.

207. Give them something fun, like cigars or booze.

208. We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas

209. but it led to widespread de-shawling.

210. Well, that's what they get

211. for wearing such tight, little shawls.

212. - Oh!

213. OK, four o'clock, nap time.

214. You tell them when to sleep?

215. Shh. Don't wake them.

216. While they sleep,

217. we suck up excess dirt and crumbs.

218. Here you go. Make sure you get into every crevice.

219. Cool!

220. Grampa... Homer.

221. Grampa... Homer.

222. Don't play with the faces.

223. So, Bart, how was your first day of forced volunteerism?

224. That place sucks.

225. The nurses don't let Grampa do anything.

226. They practically chew his food for him.

227. Lucky stiff.

228. I'm working my ass off here.

229. Good steak, honey.

230. The elderly aren't like you or me, Bart.

231. They thrive on consistency, predictability,

232. and a life with no surprises.

233. Sounds good to me.

234. I'll get it.

235. Delivery for Homer Simpson.

236. Mmm. Whoo-hoo!

237. My springs! They finally came!

238. But we lost the Olympics to Shelbyville.

239. Yeah, but I should have no problem

240. selling a thousand springs.

241. - To who? - Idiots.

242. Ooh, these are fun!

243. Oh, Rhett.

244. Rhett! Oh, Rhett, where will I go?

245. What'll I do?

246. Frankly, my dear, I love you.

247. Let's remarry.

248. Oh, what a lovely ending.

249. That's sweet.

250. They cut out the best word!

251. Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?

252. Come on. Get up! You've been warned.

253. Picture yourself on a beautiful sailboat...

254. Ah, can't you just feel the sea breeze in your hair?

255. Or scalps?

256. Say, I hear a foghorn.

257. Boooor-ing.

258. Come on, Bart, we don't want to overstimulate these people.

259. They just had pudding.

260. Hello, little girl. Is your mommy home?

261. You'll need to ask her for five dollars

262. to buy Mr. Bouncy Best-friend!

263. I know you.

264. Your little smart-mouthed boy cost this town the Olympics.

265. MRS. Yow!

266. Who is it, mother?

267. Bart Simpson's father.

268. Oh, I'll be right down.

269. Boy, Lenny

270. You sure look hungry. Have some nuts.

271. Hey, thanks. Ow! My eye! Ow! Ow! Ow!

272. Now, if you want to be the life of the party like Lenny here,

273. just place your order

274. for this hilarious novelty item.

275. Homer, get out of here.

276. Boy, Moe, you sure look angry.

277. Here, have some nuts.

278. Hey, thanks.

279. Ow!

280. God, my eye!

281. - Get it out! Geez!

282. Ahh! Ow! Ow!

283. - Don't pull. Don't pull.

284. I said don't pull. Don't.

285. Now we're pulling into port.

286. And who's waiting for us at the dock?

287. Why, it's all your childhood dogs.

288. I see Petey and Blackie and Schnoodle and...

289. - Oh, no! Pirates! - Pirates?

290. Ahoy, mateys, it's me, Long Bart Silver

291. And I'm going to rip you a new IV hole.

292. Bart, what are you doing?

293. I'm just trying to liven things up around here.

294. These people need to ride motorcycles

295. and play rockin' electric guitars

296. like the old people on TV.

297. Excuse me, but when those pirates boarded

298. I swallowed my wedding ring for safekeeping.

299. Get me some Ipecac.

300. I'd like to expunge it.

301. OK, she's gone,

302. let's break out of here and have some fun.

303. Should we ask someone...

304. But if I get up, somebody'll take my chair.

305. Got that right.

306. It's the only one left with padding.

307. Padding...

308. What about you, Chief?

309. Don't you want to be free like the eagle?

310. Oh, I don't live here.

311. I'm just dropping off Indian casino pamphlets.

312. Vote yes on Prop 217.

313. You know, the door was open, Chief Break-everything!

314. Come on, people!

315. You don't want to stay in a place

316. where they vacuum you while you sleep.

317. They do what now?

318. Now's our chance. Let's go!

319. Oh, no. Bart has stolen the elderly.

320. Forgot my hat.

321. Oy!

322. Uh-oh!

323. Ow! Today's grass is far sharper than the grass in my day.

324. Hey, everybody

325. How'd you like to go on a real boat trip?

326. Hello!

327. Argh, not a looker among 'em.

328. Full speed ahead. Damn the torpedoes.

329. What'd he say? Put on our tuxedos?

330. I want some taquitos.

331. Welcome to the kitchen

332. of tomorrow... today!

333. Marge, how much would you pay

334. for a self-flipping hamburger pan?

335. - Nothing. - Don't answer yet.

336. Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help

337. of God's greatest creation, the spring!

338. Now, watch this.

339. Are you OK?

340. Some second-degree burns,

341. but some first-class burgers.

342. I want you to get rid of these springs.

343. But you haven't seen the baby of tomorrow.

344. Ta-da!

345. Now if I drop her, no more tears!

346. Give me my baby.

347. "D" it up, Marge. I'm going to the hole.

348. I want these springs out of our house today.

349. You're not flushing those springs

350. down our toilet, are you?

351. Of course not.

352. Oh, Abe, you dance divinely.

353. I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree

354. since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.

355. Aw, geez, this place used to be crawling with Russian subs.

356. Now, there's just four.

357. Ah! Sea Hag!

358. Bart Simpson!

359. Bart, are you crazy?

360. You've got to get the old folks home

361. to the old folks' home.

362. No way.

363. They're finally having some fun.

364. How low can I go?

365. That's it.

366. Gee, Bart, maybe you're right.

367. - They don't even seem to care

368. that it's medication time.

369. Medication time? Hot dog!

370. Give me! Give me! Give me!

371. - I want some pills! - Blue ones!

372. But I've set you free.

373. No more nap time, no more bingo.

374. You can do whatever you want.

375. Let's play bingo.

376. Yeah, let's play bingo.

377. You sunk my battleship.

378. No.

379. Now, Smithers,

380. You say you painted all your Navy buddies this way?

381. Until I was discharged, sir.

382. I don't get it, Grampa.

383. If you guys like all that boring stuff,

384. why did you follow me out here?

385. Got to do something till bingo.

386. How could you miss that huge boat

387. coming right at us?

388. Oh, two glass eyes.

389. Oh, it's not fair.

390. I'm not supposed to die now.

391. I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt

392. at the age of 15.

393. Ha-ha! You're not dead yet,

394. you pudgy little pisher.

395. - Jack LaLanne! - Jack LaLanne!

396. Don't worry. I'll save you The Jack LaLanne Way.

397. Ah!

398. Uh-oh.

399. - This is all Bart's fault. - Let's get him.

400. - I blame him. - He killed us all.

401. I want some taquitos.

402. Leave him alone!

403. Sure, Bart's responsible for our deaths,

404. but he gave us the most fun we had in 20 years.

405. So, before we go to our watery graves,

406. I think that...

407. What the heck's going on?

408. Ah, what a shame. Not a looker in the bunch.

409. So, you working tomorrow at the home, Bart?

410. Well, I finished my community service.

411. Oh... right.

412. But I could swing by after school.

413. I'll bring the limbo stick.

414. Hot diggity!

415. Hey, stop shaking the harness.

416. How low can I go?

417. Captioned by Visual Data Media Services