The Shrink Next Door: Season 1, Episode 5

1. - Come on, baby! - Yes! What a shot! Nice one, Marty.

2. The bank's open on Sunday.

3. - The bank's open on Sunday. - Hold it. Guys, guys, one moment.

4. Come on, man!

5. Hello? Yes.

6. Okay.

7. Come on. Hurry it up!

8. Okay, thank you. Bye.

9. - Everything okay? - Yeah, my father's dead.

10. - All right, ball in. Ball in. Let's go. - Your father's dead?

11. Yeah. Ball in, ball in.

12. - What do you mean? Like dead, dead? - Here we go.

13. I knew as a toddler that my father had lost his parents

14. because I had no grandparents.

15. I knew as a child he had lost his siblings because I had no uncles or aunts.

16. I only discovered as an adolescent he had lost his wife.

17. I only discovered as an adult he had lost his child.

18. So when he got out of the camp, he came here, having lost everything.

19. We cannot truly mourn my father without mourning his first wife.

20. Without mourning my brother, Boruch.

21. This was a great man.

22. A he—

23. A hero, if you will.

24. I am nothing but grateful and humbled

25. to be called Wolfgang Herschkopf's son.

26. Dr. Herschkopf, I'm so sorry for your loss.

27. Your eulogy was amazing.

28. Thank you. Thank you.

29. - And thank you for coming. - Yeah.

30. - I'll see you Thursday? - Of course.

31. So I was thinking, with the holiday coming up, well...

32. I was just wondering if you guys would wanna come to the Hamptons house

33. for Memorial Day weekend.

34. Wow, that's very kind of you, Marty. I—

35. Well, you know, we're a whole gang now. I— I don't want to intrude.

36. I would love to have the kids. I mean, there's a pool. They could swim.

37. Well, even so, I'm not very good company right now.

38. Sometimes when Shiva is over and things go back to normal,

39. it can be, you know, a more difficult time.

40. I just thought...

41. You might really enjoy being somewhere where you can relax and be taken care of.

42. Maybe play some hoops.

43. That's very thoughtful of you, Marty.

44. Well, what do you think, chuch?

45. I mean, the Hamptons, a pool. I mean, the girls would love it.

46. We'll cook. We'll hang out.

47. I-I mean, I think it could be really great for you, Dr. Ike.

48. It does sound nice. A weekend.

49. Well, you heard the lady. We accept.

50. That's great.

51. - Thank you, Marty. - Absolutely.

52. - Thank you, Marty. - Not at all.

53. I-It's the least I could do after everything you've done for me.

54. Wow.

55. Hi, Marty.

56. Hi, guys. Hi, girls.

57. Leave the bags. Come on. I'll show you around.

58. - Ugh, I love this millwork. - Oh, yeah.

59. - Thank you. - And all the nauticalia.

60. - That's not a word. - Come out here.

61. I need you to see this. All right?

62. Wow.

63. Welcome. Make yourself at home.

64. You have a beautiful property.

65. Yeah, our Marty is a regular Jay Gatsby.

66. And what kind of tree is that?

67. Well, that's a cherry tree. Yeah, it's been here forever.

68. And how long have you been here, Marty?

69. It's been in my family since the '50s.

70. You're very lucky to have inherited this place, Marty.

71. Not everyone gets a house in the Hamptons handed down to them.

72. All my dad left me was partial hearing in my right ear

73. and a lot of polyester pants.

74. So, how are you feeling?

75. Not a question I often get in my line of business.

76. I bet you don't.

77. I'm good.

78. Thank you, friend.

79. You wanna take a nap or go for a walk?

80. Maybe some food?

81. Think of me as your concierge. I'm here to help with your every need.

82. That's very kind of you, Marty.

83. Very kind and unnecessary. We— We're just thrilled to be here.

84. And... here we are.

85. Drumroll, please. The kitchen.

86. Wow. Wow. Wow, did we step into a time machine, huh?

87. What is it, 1952 again?

88. Ike.

89. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's part of our bit.

90. It could use some updates, sure. I guess I've just been busy.

91. I understand that. It can be a lot.

92. Is that your mom?

93. - She was so pretty. - Yeah.

94. - And your dad. - Uh-huh.

95. He's so like you.

96. You must miss them.

97. - Mom, can I have a bagel? - Goddamn it.

98. They were a great-looking couple, Marty.

99. But listen to me. And I know this is tough to hear.

100. You're not honoring them by living in the past.

101. I just buried my dad. I know what I'm talking about.

102. I know you do.

103. They died ten years ago, Marty, but this place is a— is a museum.

104. Your parents would want you to be happy. To enjoy your life.

105. - Right? - Sure.

106. You've got to move on.

107. If not for you, do it for them.

108. Come on. Let's have a bite.

109. All right. So here we have the master bedroom.

110. How charming.

111. Wow! Look at this view.

112. Wow, I love the Americana.

113. - Where should we put our stuff? - Well, it depends.

114. There are two bedrooms in this house and there's one bedroom in the guesthouse.

115. Guesthouse? Fancy.

116. You know what? Why don't you guys stay here?

117. What? No, that's crazy. We're not kicking you out of the master bedroom.

118. - I insist. - Absolutely not.

119. Marty, that's absurd. I'm sure we can all squeeze into the guest bedroom.

120. It makes sense. You guys are in here. The girls are across the hall. It's fine.

121. I'll sleep in the guesthouse for the weekend.

122. Really?

123. Actually, it's not a bad idea. The girls are up at the crack of dawn.

124. That is true.

125. All right. Then it's settled.

126. Oh, no!

127. I'm being attacked by sea monsters! Help me!

128. Well, I made you some iced coffee if you manage to escape.

129. - Their tentacles are so long! - I'm gonna get you.

130. You doing okay?

131. Yeah, I'm okay.

132. I feel at home here, you know, chuch?

133. Feels right.

134. It's so generous of Marty.

135. Well, he invited us.

136. - Yes! Great belly flop. - He wants us here.

137. You gotta learn to accept hospitality with good grace.

138. I mean, that's the key element of being a good guest.

139. No, it's just nice of him. That's all.

140. Well, we're helping him out. You know, he—

141. You think he has fun hanging around this old house by himself?

142. I just don't want to take advantage, you know?

143. No, he's lonely, Bon.

144. And what's the best treatment for loneliness?

145. I can throw you all day long.

146. Company. Company is the best treatment. I mean, look at him.

147. - My turn, my turn! - And throw!

148. He's having a ball.

149. He's laughing for the first time in months.

150. I'm not worried about Marty. I'm worried about you.

151. I'm fine.

152. All right, you guys.

153. - No, you can't. No, you can't. Get in! - No, you can't.

154. What's that?

155. - I guess music? - Are they having a party?

156. No, it's a share-house.

157. My neighbor rents it out over the summer to cover the mortgage.

158. Honey, come back.

159. Honey, let it go.

160. Wall Street idiots. Think they own the place.

161. I think they're just having fun. You know, just like we are.

162. And I actually kinda like that music.

163. Just ignore them. That's what I do.

164. No, you know what? Come on, Marty. Let's go into town.

165. - We'll get some provisions. - What kind of provisions?

166. You know. Some wine. Some meat. A missile launcher. Kidding.

167. - Really? - Yeah.

168. Don't you wanna just, you know, relax?

169. No! No, I wanna show these guys next door how it's done.

170. - Let's go. - All right. All right.

171. - There, girls. - Guys, don't be gone too long.

172. Hi, Ken.

173. Hey, Marty.

174. Hi, Elise. I wanna introduce you to my friend. This is Ike.

175. Dr. Ike Herschkopf.

176. Dr. Ike. Pleasure.

177. We're just off to the beach club.

178. Ken went crazy and bought a catamaran.

179. I hope I can figure out how to sail it. Next stop, France.

180. - Have a lovely day. - Bye-bye.

181. Yeah, that's Ken. He's the money guy for a lot of people.

182. - Roy Scheider, I think. Yeah. - He works with Roy Scheider?

183. Uh-huh. He was with him the last time I saw him.

184. Yeah, Ken has tickets to the US Open. Some box or other.

185. It's not really my scene though.

186. Roy Scheider.

187. How long has Ken lived here?

188. He's what we call "old money."

189. How old?

190. Gosh, I don't know. The Dutch?

191. Here, you need these. Your eyes are getting all red.

192. Sea monsters, get ready for battle!

193. - Honey. We're back. - Yay!

194. Time for a sundowner, I think.

195. - Look at you. - Yeah.

196. I went to the store.

197. - You look great. - I feel great.

198. Mom and Dad are kissing.

199. Let's get the party started.

200. Okay.

201. So, I'm feeling like I'm making progress.

202. Yeah. You are.

203. You, as a person, are making incredible progress.

204. Now you need to do the same

205. - for your environment. - What do you mean?

206. Your home is a reflection of your personality.

207. As you become more comfortable with yourself,

208. as you become more authentic, more able to invite people in,

209. you need to do the same with your home.

210. My apartment?

211. No, actually I was thinking more the house in the Hamptons.

212. You know? Make it a place you want to be.

213. A place that other people want to be. A place that's open, inviting.

214. I don't know.

215. With just a little bit of imagination and a little bit of work,

216. that place could be incredible,

217. and much more of a reflection of where you're at now.

218. Yeah, I guess.

219. The kind of place that people can arrive at from the city

220. and just go, "Wow."

221. Because you deserve it, Marty. You do. You deserve it.

222. Say it. "I deserve it."

223. I deserve it.

224. - Again. - Again?

225. I deserve it.

226. Again.

227. - "I deserve it." Again. - I deserve it.

228. - I deserve it. - I deserve it.

229. Feels good, doesn't it?

230. - Look at this. The house next door... - Right?

231. - You know, jackass central? - Yeah.

232. - It's for sale. - Okay.

233. - You should buy that property. - What?

234. - You have to buy that property. - I already have a house.

235. Well, yeah, your parents' house, but don't you want your own house?

236. I mean, not really.

237. Well, isn't that what every man dreams of? His own castle.

238. You should sell your house, buy that house.

239. - I don't think I need it. - Marty. Excuse me.

240. - Could I have a word? - Bruce. We— He's in a meeting.

241. Yeah, I have this month's accounts here, and I'd like you to take a look at it.

242. - Great. Leave them outside. - Yeah. Thank you, Bruce. Thank you.

243. We'll get to it.

244. It's a much better house. It's bigger. It has an amazing pool.

245. I kind of prefer mine.

246. Sure. Okay. Yeah, well.

247. It's just a suggestion.

248. I'll go to my office.

249. But I thought your idea to renovate was great.

250. Really?

251. Totally. I think it's something we should really do.

252. I'm ready. I just don't know where to start.

253. Well, I mean, I could show you. If you want.

254. I would love that.

255. Would you and the girls come back this weekend?

256. Oh, no. No, no. You should enjoy it on your own.

257. But I don't enjoy it on my own. Come.

258. Please. We could at least make a start.

259. You sure you don't mind spending another weekend in the guesthouse?

260. I'm beginning to think maybe you prefer it in there.

261. It's fine.

262. Wow.

263. I'm gonna chase you.

264. Yeah, okay.

265. Hey, see how much fresher it feels already?

266. It's like a new beginning.

267. Yeah.

268. I think I might keep this one.

269. Sure. Yeah, of course.

270. Whatever you want.

271. Hey, let's have some fun.

272. In my testicles.

273. Ike, Ike, that's a low blow.

274. You are something else.

275. - You started it. - You're a can of beans.

276. Hey, you know, I was thinking.

277. What if, instead of selling this property,

278. you bought the place next door and combined the two properties?

279. Look, what if you...

280. Okay, what if you put in a beautiful tennis court

281. and then, just next to that, a basketball court?

282. Then you got a little seating area.

283. - Uh-huh. - Behind that, like, a bar.

284. You've got a bigger pool.

285. And look at this. There's room for a miniature golf course.

286. - Uh-huh. - Yeah.

287. All you have to do, you clear out that area.

288. Get rid of that tree, and you've added $250,000 to your property overnight.

289. You know, I have a patient who's a tree guy. You should give him a call.

290. I'm not cutting down that tree. Ever.

291. What? What do you mean?

292. My parents planted that tree when they bought the house.

293. Phyllis and I used to climb on it when we were younger.

294. Then her kids used to climb on it.

295. My mom actually used to talk to the tree.

296. She used to get up every morning and say, "Good morning, tree."

297. She loved that tree.

298. Sounds weird. I love that tree.

299. Your mother talked to a tree. Did it answer?

300. I don't know. Maybe.

301. Hey.

302. Hey, what is it?

303. Come on. Let's keep painting.

304. You know, anytime you wanna talk about your dad, or anything.

305. That's very sweet.

306. But, to quote you, "I'm fine."

307. I just mean, you know, you've always said, "It's okay to not be okay."

308. You must miss him.

309. Listen, Marty. Between you and me, he wasn't much of a father.

310. He was a great man, not a great dad.

311. - I'm so sorry. - Don't be.

312. I've made peace with it,

313. 'cause I know that he loved me with every cell of his body.

314. Of course he did.

315. He just couldn't show me his love.

316. I can forgive him and let it go.

317. God, I love it here, Marty.

318. I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow night.

319. Me too.

320. You know, something about nature has me reevaluating my life.

321. I've taken a dance with my creative self.

322. I've been working on a novel.

323. - That's great. - It is great.

324. And I feel like I need to maybe take a time out and focus on that.

325. I need a break.

326. I need some space.

327. Space? From what?

328. Space from everything, you know?

329. I feel like going somewhere and just sitting and writing awhile.

330. Really? Where?

331. I don't know. Maybe Jerusalem. I love it there.

332. I feel like it's calling me.

333. And I would get to do an aliyah, which is something I've wanted to do.

334. What do you me— I'm sorry, it just— It's all so—

335. Look, I love the idea that you wanna take the time to do this,

336. but Jerusalem?

337. It just seems crazy to go all that way when everything you need is right here.

338. Here? But this is your place, Marty.

339. Ours. It's ours. We're family, remember?

340. No, no. I wouldn't want to feel like I'm getting in your way.

341. No. No, no, no. No. Absolutely not.

342. Because if I feel like I'm in your way, it's very blocking to me.

343. How can you say that? It would be an honor.

344. I feel the need to be in a supportive environment.

345. It would be supportive. It would be so supportive here.

346. I would love to help you plot out the book.

347. You could clear your head, and get your creative juices flowing.

348. It would be a win-win.

349. I don't know.

350. I'd have to think about it, Marty.

351. Please— Please stay.

352. Okay.

353. We'll send Bonnie and the kids back to the city tomorrow,

354. and then we'll start work.

355. Okay. Good.

356. Thank you.

357. Goodbye, my favorite sea monsters.

358. - Bye, Uncle Marty. - Bye, Uncle Marty.

359. Marty, don't lead him astray.

360. I make no promises.

361. - Bye. - Bye.

362. So, I'll see you... couple weeks?

363. Well, we'll have to see.

364. My patients know I'm on a short sabbatical, so...

365. - Okay. - But I'm sure we'll have you back

366. as soon as the first draft is done. Right, Marty?

367. Absolutely.

368. Okay, well, have fun, you guys.

369. We're not having fun. We're working.

370. Okay, that's what I meant.

371. - Bye, girls. - Bye, Dad.

372. Miss you already.

373. Hey, don't work too hard, okay?

374. 'Cause I know how you get when you're going through something.

375. - Please don't play therapist with me. - I'm just saying.

376. You keep saying you're fine, but I'm not sure that you are.

377. Marty.

378. What? Is everything okay?

379. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's time to wake up.

380. What? What time is it?

381. Time to start work.

382. Okay. All right.

383. He knocked and slowly pushed open the door to her boudoir.

384. There she sat in front of the mirror,

385. slowly applying lipstick to her mouth.

386. Dusty pink. Parisian, possibly.

387. "Parisian.

388. - Possibly." - "You were right," he said.

389. "The body was there as you described.

390. Under the bridge. One brogue on the left foot."

391. "One brogue on the left foot."

392. "But you didn't kill him." "How do you know?" she asked.

393. I was just going to ask the same thing.

394. He cou—

395. No, no, no. Let it go. Let it go.

396. - No, I better, just in case. - Don't stop the flow.

397. - Hello. - Hey, Marty, it's Bruce. How you doin'?

398. - I'm fine. Thank you, Bruce. - For God's sake.

399. Can we talk about AFC?

400. - Not now, we're working. - Not now, Bruce.

401. You know what? We'll talk soon.

402. - I promise. - Yeah, bu— Marty—

403. - Sorry, Ike. - Where were we?

404. Focus.

405. Then all of a sudden...

406. Wait, wait. And I— You know what?

407. Marty! Hey, Marty! Come over. Come over and meet my new friends.

408. I gave him a new offer. Do the right thing. Anyway.

409. Marty! Come here. Come here. You gotta meet everybody.

410. This is Marcus, Brock, Kingsley and Lennox.

411. All their names are surnames. It's hilarious.

412. Hi, good to meet you.

413. - Hey, Marty. - Hey, Marty.

414. These guys are the best. They've been working 75-hour weeks,

415. and now they're finally taking a well-deserved break.

416. - Am I right? Am I right? - Hell yeah!

417. How about this place, huh?

418. It's somethin' else. Yeah.

419. See that barbecue? It's bigger than your house.

420. Super big. Yeah.

421. And how about this pool, huh?

422. Kidney-shaped. You can't go wrong.

423. I dare you to strip off and jump in. Totally naked. Yeah? Come on!

424. Do it! Do it! Do it!

425. You know, I'm— I'm too sweaty.

426. - Sweaty? - Come on, Marty.

427. - Come on. - You don't want my sweat in your pool.

428. - Come jump in. - Come on in, Marty.

429. Look, I-I would love to, I just—

430. I'm in the middle of a bunch of stuff, and I better get back to it.

431. - Marty. - Nice to meet you.

432. - Yeah. - You just got here. Look. Marty!

433. Marty, come on!

434. Such a joy thief.

435. Sorry, guys. Think I'd better get back to my own personal hell.

436. Still, it was nice to be out on day leave.

437. By the way, if you could just turn the music down a jot.

438. I love it, but I think Marty might be on his period.

439. Poor Marty!

440. Later.

441. Top me off.

442. What a bunch of fucking pricks.

443. - Those guys? - Entitled hedge fund scum.

444. I can't stand 'em.

445. The good news is the owner is going through a really nasty divorce.

446. - Oh, no. - Yeah.

447. He needs to sell quick.

448. So you could probably offer, like, less, and he'd have to take it.

449. Poor Bob.

450. You should call your Realtor.

451. - I don't know. - Are you crazy?

452. You'd have the best house in Southampton.

453. It's about the tree, isn't it?

454. - Turn left. - This is an adventure.

455. It is. It is.

456. - Okay, straight. Straight. - Okay, right. Still going straight.

457. - You're going to turn right. Now... - And now?

458. - I feel dizzy. - Do you know where you are?

459. I can't even begin to guess.

460. - Okay, now. Stop. I'm just— - Yep. What?

461. - Okay. - Yeah.

462. Okay, open your eyes.

463. Yeah, you will never have to look at that blueberry hellhole again.

464. - Never again. - Never again.

465. There's holes in the wall.

466. It's on its way.

467. - It's gonna be— I have this vision. - Yeah.

468. All that monochromatic nonsense.

469. You know what? This is where my parents used to measure Phyllis and me.

470. Oh, my gosh.

471. Isn't it funny to think about? I-I was only that tall.

472. Oh, my gosh. That was the summer that Phyllis really shot up,

473. - and I-I-I was so jealous. - They're dead.

474. - What? - Marty, you have to let them go.

475. I swear, this house, it's not a museum. It's a tomb.

476. You know, sometimes I feel like I'm working on you,

477. but I don't think you're working on you. Do you know what I'm saying?

478. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise, I'll work harder.

479. Don't be mad at me.

480. I'm not mad. I'm just—

481. Marty, relax.

482. Yeah, breathe. It's not good for your heart.

483. It's gonna be great. It's not done. It's gonna be great.

484. - Trust me. - Okay.

485. So, I just got off the phone with the Realtor.

486. - Really? What did he say? - Bad news.

487. How do you mean?

488. He says under no circumstances should anyone buy that house.

489. It needs underpinning, and the septic tank has never worked.

490. Why would he say that?

491. You know what? He wants to buy the house himself.

492. Oh, no. No. He's an old family friend. He's just trying to give me a heads-up.

493. Bullshit. He knows you're sitting on a gold mine, and he wants a piece.

494. I don't think so.

495. He's lying, Marty.

496. Now, look, we need to move quickly. Have you called the tree guy?

497. No.

498. Why not?

499. What is it with you and that fucking tree?

500. I don't know. I guess it just has sentimental value.

501. Sentimental val— Did this tree raise you?

502. No.

503. No? Did this tree change your diaper? Did it cook you a meal?

504. Did it pay for your school?

505. That's not really what I'm trying to say.

506. What are you saying? Are you in love with the tree?

507. Marty, you told me years ago you'd never been in love,

508. but you failed to mention that you're in love with a tree.

509. I'm just fond of it.

510. Fond? Fond how? Like, sexually?

511. Because it's sounding an awful lot to me like maybe you want to fuck this tree.

512. I don't want to fuck the tree.

513. I'm joking.

514. I just feel like, if anyone has a thing about the tree, it's you.

515. I said I didn't want to chop it down, and you won't let it go.

516. For some reason, it feels like you hate this tree.

517. So, the lunatics have taken over the asylum, have they?

518. You're psychoanalyzing me?

519. No. No, no. I just— I don't understand—

520. No, you don't understand, Marty.

521. But let me see if I can help you.

522. Your feelings about this tree are not healthy.

523. And it's all to do with your mother.

524. The way your mother loved you was not healthy,

525. and that is a deep root of your pathology.

526. A Freudian would say that this tree is your mother's phallus.

527. A big, looming totem of her inappropriate desire for you.

528. - That's not— - Yes.

529. Or it's her birth canal trying to suck you back in.

530. Your mother wouldn't let you grow up,

531. and now she has left you emotionally and sexually stunted.

532. And it is a fucking tragedy!

533. Please stop.

534. I know. I know, Marty. It's hard.

535. The truth is hard, but it is the only way you will heal.

536. I love you properly. I won't hurt you.

537. I will make sure you blossom like this tree.

538. Okay.

539. I know. I know.

540. So, what are you gonna do?

541. I don't know.

542. Even now? I thought we just looked into your heart and your soul.

543. I thought we had a breakthrough there.

544. - Am I just wasting my time? - No. No, of course not.

545. You know what? Maybe I'm just a terrible therapist.

546. No, no. You're not.

547. No, I think I might be a terrible therapist

548. because obviously, you have not moved on at all.

549. - You know, maybe I should just give up. - No.

550. Great— Yes. Great idea.

551. I give up on you, and I give up on therapy.

552. No, it's all right. Don't worry.

553. I'm going to pack my bags, and I'm gonna get out of your life.

554. Why is Pearl even here? He wasn't her father.

555. Yeah, but he raised her, and she loved him.

556. I didn't think I had any tears left.

557. It's good to let it come out.

558. What did Wolf used to say?

559. He'd say, "Mom's leaking again."

560. Or, "You two better drink some water. You're about to cry yourselves thirsty."

561. How you doing?

562. I'm fine, Mom.

563. I know this is hard for ya.

564. No. It's actually easy.

565. - Ike. - No. I'm free of trying to please him.

566. Trying to please a man who couldn't show love.

567. Honey, listen to me.

568. So, it's a good thing.

569. He wanted to so much.

570. Not enough.

571. After losing Boruch, he couldn't dare let himself love another son.

572. You can understand that, can't you?

573. No.

574. So, I have some news.

575. The sale went through, finally.

576. So I own both properties.

577. Congratulations.

578. Called a contractor to rip down the fence.

579. Nah, let's just do it now.

580. Let's get it done.

581. Jesus.

582. You all right?

583. We should have a party.

584. A housewarming party.