The Shrink Next Door: Season 1, Episode 4

1. What am I supposed to be feeling right now?

2. Extreme relaxation.

3. Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

4. Going through a tough time at the moment.

5. Some stuff going on with my brother and—

6. It helps if you stop speaking.

7. Right, right.

8. Yeah, that's not gonna happen either.

9. We both have done things we shouldn't have,

10. and I'll admit I'm not innocent in all this.

11. Do you think I should call him or wait for him to call me?

12. - Sorry, did you ask me a question? - Can you get off my mat?

13. Oh, sorry. Yeah, sorry.

14. So I called him.

15. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, you know?

16. I would have preferred for him to call me, but, what can I say?

17. I'm a great fucking human being, so sue me.

18. Besides, it's my birthday tomorrow. What's he gonna do, ignore it?

19. Don't fuck me on the fixings, Ray. It's been a long day.

20. Say hi to the people at home.

21. - Ike, can you put that thing down. - You're doing great.

22. - No, I'm so thirsty. - I got it. I got it. Here, here.

23. All right, deep breath.

24. Your ice chips, madame?

25. You're lucky to have such a supportive partner.

26. You women are warriors.

27. I think we're ready to push.

28. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

29. - Baby's crowning. - Wait. Hold on, hold on.

30. - Keep pushing. - Hold on.

31. - Not yet, not yet! - Ike, put that fucking thing down!

32. - Keep pushing. Keep pushing. - Ike!

33. - You're doing great. I'll be here. Push. - There we go!

34. Push. I gotta focus.

35. One more push! One more push!

36. There we go.

37. You did it! It's a boy! It's a boy!

38. Actually, that's the umbilical cord.

39. This would be a girl.

40. - It's a girl. - Yes, good girl.

41. - It's a girl. - And— Yeah—

42. - It's a girl. - And she brought a friend.

43. What?

44. I've got news for you, Mom and Dad. Your work's not done here.

45. - You're having twins. - Twins?

46. - Double the joy. - Yes, twins.

47. Now, Bonnie, come on, I need you to—

48. - Yes, Bonnie. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

49. - Yeah— Twin— Oh, my— - No!

50. So Cathy was giving me sass, saying,

51. "Marty, I gave you the purchase orders to sign."

52. And I remember what you said, so I pushed back.

53. And I said, "Really, Cath?

54. Because I know for a fact that you didn't because I would have signed them.

55. So, can you please go check again?"

56. So, she goes back to her desk,

57. and there sitting on her desk underneath a pile of old Peoples—

58. Dr. Ike.

59. Dr. Ike.

60. No, no, I—

61. A pile of old people. Continue.

62. - Are you all right? - Marty, forgive me. I'm sorry. I—

63. I haven't been getting much sleep.

64. Who could blame you with twin baby girls at home? What's that like?

65. Are you comfortable with me cursing in our session?

66. - Please. - Good.

67. Because it's the fucking best, Marty.

68. Fatherhood is... indescribable.

69. You have to experience it for yourself.

70. I mean it. Have you ever thought about being a dad?

71. Me? No, I don't know.

72. I mean, I really love being an uncle.

73. Loved.

74. Marty, what do you want your legacy to be?

75. My legacy?

76. Gosh. I—

77. I've never really thought about it.

78. Well, to be honest, before the girls, neither had I.

79. But when a man looks into the eyes of his children for the first time,

80. he becomes painfully aware of his own mortality.

81. You feel this...

82. this urgency to make sure you leave the world

83. a better place than the one you found.

84. That's really beautiful, Ike.

85. Have you ever been in love?

86. I don't know. Does anyone really know?

87. Yeah. Yes, they do.

88. Well, then I guess I would have to say no.

89. Can't say that I have. Maybe starting a family is not my legacy.

90. Marty, listen to me. Your legacy is yet to be written.

91. There's plenty of time for that. You need to find the right person.

92. Or, if not, there are plenty of other ways to leave your mark on this world.

93. I guess.

94. If it were me and I had your... assets.

95. I'd give back.

96. - To? - Others. The world.

97. Start a foundation or something.

98. I mean, think of how amazing that must feel.

99. I've been thinking a lot about you and your...

100. your considerable means since the whole Phyllis affair.

101. I'll be honest, I don't think that is behind me.

102. I feel terrible about the way it all ended.

103. We've talked about this.

104. Phyllis was toxic. She robbed you.

105. She violated a lifetime of trust.

106. You did the right thing by cutting her out of your life.

107. But look, enough about the past. Let's look to the future.

108. Maybe starting a foundation

109. is the exact kind of distraction you need right now.

110. Use your money to help the world. What a legacy that would be.

111. Look, I love the sound of what you're saying.

112. I really do.

113. I just— I wouldn't know where to begin, how to start something like that.

114. It's not that complicated, actually. In fact, they make it fairly easy.

115. I'm planning on starting one myself

116. once I have a little more money squirreled away.

117. Maybe we could start one together.

118. - You and me? - Why not?

119. We work well together, don't we?

120. We do.

121. - We really do. - Yeah.

122. So let's do it. You know?

123. Be a force for good.

124. Make a legacy.

125. All righty. Your 501 status is approved,

126. and your account is now open.

127. Did you gentleman want to make an initial deposit today?

128. Indeed, we did. 165,000 shekels.

129. - Ever seen a check that big? - I work in the bank.

130. - Right, no. Of course. Yeah. - Yeah.

131. I'm making the initial investment.

132. I'll be giving as we go.

133. Yeah, I'm the bachelor here, so I'm sitting on a little more cash.

134. This guy just had twins. New dad alert.

135. Oh, brother, I tell you.

136. - Twin poop machines. - You want a hot stock tip?

137. Buy shares in Pampers.

138. Understood. But if you both are to be cosigners on the account,

139. you both need to invest something at the start.

140. It could be anything.

141. Hey, yeah.

142. Of course.

143. Like... 5,000?

144. Anything.

145. - 2,000? - Sure.

146. 2,500.

147. Best and final.

148. Sir, you're negotiating with yourself. Anything is fine.

149. 2,500. Yeah, it's good with me, really.

150. My assets are a bit illiquid at the moment,

151. but I promise I'll double this contribution

152. in the very near future.

153. I'll double it, Marty.

154. Dr. Ike, it's fine. I know you'll double it.

155. Well, 2,500 it is.

156. To be doubled.

157. You gentleman each want check signing authority, is that correct?

158. Absolutely, yes. Yes, this is a 50/50 partnership.

159. I'll get the checkbook.

160. You know that I wish I had more to contribute, Marty.

161. You know that, right?

162. What you've given me cannot be calculated in a bank ledger.

163. Joe, are you back there?

164. Ike and I have some priceless heirlooms we need enshrined for posterity.

165. Hey, can I help you guys?

166. Sorry. I was expecting Joe.

167. I'm Hannah. Joe's my neighbor.

168. I just started working here. Are you and Joe friends?

169. Not really. I buy frames from him.

170. Right. Well, that would make sense.

171. That is sort of our whole deal here.

172. Yeah.

173. I'm Marty.

174. - I'm Hannah. - You already said that.

175. Sorry.

176. I'm Marty. There, we're even.

177. Thank you.

178. That's nice. Okay.

179. - So, Marty, what... - Yes.

180. - What can I do for you? - Nothing fancy,

181. just have this 8-by-10 document framed alongside these two receipts.

182. Maybe a one or two-inch black matte against a 3/4 inch cherry wood frame?

183. My, you really know your stuff.

184. You live long enough,

185. you pick up a few things about reverse molding and shadow boxes.

186. No, now, come on. You clearly have a good eye.

187. - Me? - Yeah, you.

188. No, you're the one with the good eye.

189. Eyes, two eyes.

190. The regular number of nice eyes.

191. The...

192. appropriate quota of ocular spheres.

193. Thank you, I think.

194. Yeah.

195. Okay, so, it should just be a couple of days.

196. - Come back, see me on Thursday. - Thursday, all right.

197. - Thursday. Yeah. My favorite day. - Thursday.

198. AKA Thor's day. After the Norse god of thunder.

199. - Thor. - Yes.

200. Of course, yes.

201. Basically the equivalent of Jupiter or Jove in the Roman Pantheon,

202. but, anyway.

203. - Okay. See you Thursday. - Thank you so much. Great.

204. - Sure. - All right.

205. - Night. Bye. Bye, Marty. - Bye.

206. - That was astounding, Marty. - Run!

207. Not a word of it made any sense at all, but the way you said it.

208. Can we please just run?

209. Pheromones were oozing out of you, Marty.

210. They were oozing.

211. You were like a beast. Wait, why are we running?

212. I don't know! Run!

213. You are growing, Marty!

214. I'm so tired. Why won't they sleep? They never sleep.

215. Oh, no.

216. - Come here, come here. - Okay.

217. Okay. Okay. Okay.

218. Come here.

219. - Can I help you? - PJ Bernstein's.

220. Oh, shit, the deli.

221. - You ordered this, right? - I did, yes.

222. I forgot to cancel.

223. You know what, our event isn't actually happening tonight.

224. What's all this?

225. It's a spread from PJ Bernstein's. I forgot to cancel.

226. You can take it back.

227. We need 24 hours' notice for cancellations.

228. What? Baloney, I'm not paying for this.

229. You already did. They ran your card.

230. Fine. All right, then I do want it, but not because you're forcing it on me.

231. Because I'm actually hungry.

232. - But no tip. - Tip's included.

233. You know what, just put it on the counter.

234. - Leave my home. - Enjoy your meal.

235. They're asleep.

236. Ike, my God.

237. Why on earth did you order a deli platter for 50 people?

238. I had to place the order in advance.

239. I thought maybe we'd be hosting a bris tonight, that's all.

240. - Were you hoping for a boy? - What? No. No, of course not.

241. No, I just wanted to be ready in case it was a boy.

242. Oh, my God. You wanted a boy.

243. No, I didn't. I promise.

244. No.

245. I just...

246. I always had a dream that I would

247. host a bris for my son.

248. And we'd invite people from the synagogue, my colleagues from the hospital.

249. - My dad. - Ike, don't do this to yourself.

250. - Do what to myself? - You are a father yourself now.

251. You don't need to impress him anymore.

252. Okay, you've been trying for over 30 years, and he's—

253. - Honey— - Nah. Come on. Please.

254. Let's forget I said anything.

255. Come on, let's eat.

256. I may have overdone it on the whitefish.

257. Ike, I don't think I can do this anymore.

258. It's too much with two. I need some help.

259. Cindy gave me the name of this baby nurse she said is available.

260. - I'm gonna call her. - Isn't that expensive?

261. 350 a week for a decent night's sleep? I would pay double that.

262. 350 a week? That's a little steep, don't you think?

263. There's only so many mommy issues in New York I can treat.

264. So you'll spend money on this deli spread for a party that doesn't happen,

265. but you won't spend it on your wife and children?

266. Come on, that's different.

267. We don't need the help. We're doing fine.

268. You're doing fine because your nipples aren't bleeding,

269. and you can go to the bathroom without crying.

270. That's low, Bonnie. You know I would do more if I could.

271. Well, you can't, and you don't. I do, and I need this.

272. Ike, please, you're at work all day. I can't do this alone.

273. Oh, come on, sweetie. Of course you can, you're supermom.

274. Okay, fine.

275. I don't even know why we're arguing about this.

276. You know what? I'll just use my own money.

277. Oh, my goodness.

278. Look at those two punims. Little angels.

279. - Aren't they something? - Look at that one, Dr. Ike.

280. Look at your face. It's like, "Sorry, girls. Milk factory's closed."

281. You are hilarious. Got a lot to offer.

282. Hey, the girl at the frame store certainly thought so.

283. Well... yeah.

284. She liked you.

285. I can see why.

286. You're an extremely eligible bachelor.

287. So, you're saying I should ask Hannah out?

288. I think you know the answer to that question,

289. but we're out of time.

290. Okay.

291. Hey, Marty.

292. Yeah?

293. Do you have a second for some quick Yaron business?

294. Yeah, sure.

295. A colleague of mine from NYU sent me this.

296. PEN Gala.

297. It's one of the biggest philanthropic events of the year.

298. They raise a lot of money for incredible charities.

299. I think this would be the perfect way to officially launch the Yaron Foundation.

300. - What do you say? - A thousand dollars a plate.

301. Yeah, just standard.

302. Yeah. Can I think about it?

303. Sure thing, pal.

304. I mean, you know, it's a good way to give back,

305. but take all the time you need.

306. No pressure.

307. Marty, hi!

308. - Hey there. - Happy Thor's day.

309. - Happy Thor's day to you. - Yeah.

310. Yeah.

311. - I've got your frames. So— - Oh, okay.

312. Be right back.

313. Here they are.

314. That's great.

315. - Yeah? - Really nice.

316. I did them myself.

317. Lovely work. How much do I owe you?

318. - On the house. - Really?

319. No.

320. That's— It— There— It's $59.95 for the—

321. Yeah. I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that.

322. - Think I'm just... nervous. - You're nervous?

323. I literally have Burger King napkins in my armpits right now.

324. - Gross, Marty. Just kidding. - No.

325. - It's a little gross. - It is gross.

326. Why would you be nervous?

327. Well, Hannah, I—

328. There's a question I'd like to ask you.

329. - Sure. - Okay.

330. Fire away.

331. Do you...

332. outside of going to work...

333. Do you ever leave your house?

334. Apartment. I don't know where you live.

335. I don't know what kind of dwelling you live in, but—

336. - It's an apartment. I do. - You leave it?

337. Sometimes I leave it.

338. So...

339. Yes!

340. What is that? Some kind of freaking time machine?

341. It's a new coffee maker.

342. What was wrong with Mr. Coffee?

343. Nothin'. This is just one of Mr. Stevens' new changes.

344. Oh, well, at least they're springing for some nice coffee.

345. No, no, no, no, don't open that.

346. It's whitefish.

347. Why? Why is there whitefish in the coffee can?

348. - Yeah, I don't know. - Morning, team.

349. - Good morning. - Morning.

350. How's everyone?

351. Fine. Just fine.

352. Try the whitefish? PJ Bernstein's. Sensational whitefish.

353. I think I'm gonna pass.

354. Yeah, looking more for something sweet.

355. What are executive Bonkers?

356. They're Bonkers for executives.

357. - Well, can I have one? - He loves Bonkers.

358. - Are you an executive? - No.

359. Then I think you just answered your own question, pal.

360. Snacks only for executives. You don't think that's a little extreme?

361. Guys, sorry. It's out of my hands.

362. Norman Horowitz is a real hard ass about this stuff.

363. If you want, I can talk to him, put in a good word. He listens to me.

364. Nice.

365. All right. Go team.

366. - Yes. Go. - Yeah, go.

367. Hey, Marty, some of us were talking, and we were—

368. That is we wondered— Cathy, you say.

369. How long is Mr. Stevens gonna be hanging around?

370. As long as we need him. Think of him as a valuable resource.

371. The more time he's around, the better for all of us.

372. It's just some of the changes around here—

373. Will you excuse me, Bruce? I have a high-level meeting.

374. - But, Marty... - Marty...

375. Ike.

376. You're not gonna believe what happened.

377. That's great. Can I talk to you for a sec?

378. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Inside. Just go in here? Yeah, great.

379. - Not a problem at all. - Great.

380. Marty, I'm gonna shoot something your way, and if you like it, great.

381. You don't, swat it out of the air.

382. - Okay. - Great.

383. Is there a small work space I can occupy while I'm here?

384. Maybe an office? I hate to feel like I'm in the way.

385. Sure, I thought you wanted to be boots on the ground,

386. float amongst the staff, that kind of thing.

387. My thoughts on that have evolved.

388. I'm concerned people might be confused if there isn't an observable hierarchy,

389. and they might feel rudderless or insecure.

390. Does that make sense?

391. Yeah. Complete sense.

392. Great. The workers, they know my status here,

393. but they need to see it a little bit more.

394. This is for them, not for me.

395. Absolutely. No. We'll get on it right away.

396. Fantastic. Now, I must apologize.

397. I interrupted you. What did you wanna say?

398. Hannah, the girl at the frame store.

399. - Yeah? - I asked her out.

400. Marty goddamn fucking Markowitz. I'm so proud of you!

401. - Where are you taking her? - We're gonna go for a walk next week.

402. - A walk? Walk to where? - Yeah. I don't know.

403. The park maybe?

404. I love you, pal. Here.

405. It's very sweet. Let me tell you something.

406. Women don't wanna walk.

407. They wanna be wowed. Swept off their feet. Impressed.

408. Okay. So, where should I take her?

409. - Oh, my God. - What?

410. - Oh, my God. - What?

411. Bring her to the PEN Gala.

412. Gosh, Ike, I don't know.

413. I do. It's perfect. I'll bring Bonnie. You bring Hannah. Double date.

414. It sounds amazing. It's just— Here's the thing.

415. Four tickets at a thousand bucks a pop.

416. I even thought two sounded a little wasteful.

417. Charity's not wasteful.

418. It's the PEN Foundation, Marty.

419. The printed word is the greatest weapon our democracy has against tyranny.

420. You care about democracy, don't you?

421. Dr. Ike, I—

422. I promise you, I love democracy,

423. and I cannot stand tyranny.

424. But, look, why don't you and Bonnie just go?

425. I don't have to go.

426. I mean, four tickets.

427. It just doesn't seem worth it. That's all.

428. You know what? I think you might be right.

429. - 4,000 for four people is a rip-off. - I think so.

430. Especially when you can sponsor a table that seats eight for only six grand.

431. That's basically like having a wholesale discount.

432. See? We're already saving money.

433. - I'll make the calls. - Okay.

434. And don't forget about the office.

435. Yeah. All right.

436. I don't know, honey. It's not really my thing.

437. What do you mean? It's the PEN Gala.

438. I'm exhausted. I look like crap. I can't fit into any of my clothes.

439. - I just don't think I'll enjoy it. - You won't enjoy the PEN Gala?

440. Honey, I just gave birth, like, 15 minutes ago.

441. And now we got Anita here. What else you pay her for?

442. Why don't we go out? Just the two of us?

443. Feel like I've barely seen you.

444. Bon, I'm asking you to come out of the house with me.

445. It's the PEN Gala, for God's sakes. I thought you'd be thrilled.

446. I'm not crazy about those kind of events,

447. because I'm not crazy about that version of you.

448. What version of me?

449. The one that comes out at those types of occasions.

450. The one who never knows when enough is enough.

451. Suit yourself, Bonnie. But honestly, I—

452. I don't have a clue what you're talking about.

453. So I think I'll put Kirschenbaum here,

454. away from the band, and I'll put Mitch Rosen close to the band.

455. That way no one hears him chew.

456. I take it you wanna be near the bathroom?

457. Yeah.

458. You okay? You look a little peaked.

459. I'm just a little nervous, that's all.

460. - 'Bout the date? - Yeah.

461. Hey, you're gonna bowl her over.

462. She's probably used to most schmucks dragging her to Gray's Papaya.

463. Which reminds me, I should probably cut a check to the PEN Foundation.

464. - Okay. - Ledger in your office?

465. Yep. Desk drawer.

466. Marty.

467. - Could we talk to you for a sec? - Yeah, sure.

468. Mr. Stevens just handed me

469. these invoices for a total of 54 industrial psychology sessions.

470. And?

471. What would you like me to do about them?

472. Pay them, obviously.

473. Can we really afford that?

474. Yes, we can. Thanks to Mr. Stevens,

475. our margins hit an all-time high last month.

476. And so did our expenses.

477. - What's that, Cathy? - Nothing.

478. Look, Marty. I'll admit Mr. Stevens gave us some helpful pointers,

479. but do we really need a full-time industrial psychologist?

480. Bruce, come on. Look at all the changes around here.

481. I have, and some of them I'm not too crazy about.

482. You have to embrace change, or you can fight it,

483. - but you can't stop it happening. - But you can't stop it happening.

484. Yes. That's what Mr. Stevens says.

485. I just worry that his presence here might be becoming a distraction.

486. Well, gee-whiz, Bruce.

487. Let's take a second to unpack that.

488. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you may be so easily distracted?

489. What's that?

490. That's Mr. Stevens' new desk. Amish sandalwood.

491. Nice.

492. Guys, Mr. Stevens is here to help.

493. He's also here to stay.

494. So, get used to it.

495. Okay? Now then, go team!

496. Go.

497. Thank you so much.

498. Hey!

499. - Marty. - Hannah.

500. - Hi. - Hi.

501. You look great.

502. - Thank you. - Yeah.

503. You look like James Bond.

504. I got you something.

505. Thank you. That's... nice.

506. You didn't have to get me a gift.

507. - Open it. - Okay. Yeah.

508. A picture frame.

509. - Yeah. - A picture frame.

510. I figured everyone's always getting picture frames from you,

511. that it might be nice, for a change, if someone gave a frame to you.

512. That's a—

513. - It's a terrible idea. I'm so sorry. - No, no, it's not.

514. No. This is great. We don't carry this kind...

515. - All right. - ... so this is new and interesting to me.

516. - Okay. - Thank you. So sweet.

517. - Shall we go inside? - Oh, yeah. Go.

518. Watch your step.

519. I could feel at the time

520. There was no way of knowing

521. Fallen leaves in the night

522. Do it again. I was looking...

523. Thank you, Ms. Fairchild.

524. Marty, so who are all these people?

525. I don't know.

526. - Okay. - Dr. Ike's friends.

527. It's crazy. He's got so many of them.

528. Why do you call him Dr. Ike?

529. Is that like a nickname, like Dr. J?

530. No.

531. - Goofball. - I'm sorry. I don't know.

532. No. I mean, he is cool and smooth like Dr. J.

533. Obviously.

534. And he's actually quite a good basketball player.

535. - But no, he's a real doctor. - What kind of doctor?

536. A psychiatrist.

537. Is he your psychiatrist?

538. Sorry. I hope that was okay to ask.

539. No. Well...

540. Yeah.

541. Yeah.

542. Cool. No, I— Yeah.

543. - Yeah. - Okay.

544. Yeah.

545. Yeah. Psychiatrist. Business partner.

546. Best friend.

547. That's...

548. How does that all work?

549. It works great.

550. - Yeah. - Yes.

551. He's kind of the brains of the operation, and I'm sort of the...

552. The what? The heart?

553. I was gonna say the bank.

554. But yes, heart too. I'm the heart as well. Yeah.

555. So you paid for all of this?

556. Yeah, the— Your own table.

557. You're welcome.

558. Hi.

559. - It's for a great cause. - Yeah.

560. Causes, in fact. Legacy, philanthropy.

561. I think democracy is somewhere in there— The list goes on and on.

562. With this organization, this evening benefits the people.

563. They do— It's—

564. - It's a great night, so, yeah. - Sure. Yeah.

565. Is it hot? It feels hot.

566. Is it hot, or is it just me?

567. Are you okay?

568. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

569. I guess I didn't pay extra for water.

570. - But they'll be here eventually. - Yeah.

571. I love this song.

572. - Me too. Such a good song. - Right?

573. Michael McDonald is vastly underrated.

574. - Yeah. - Totally.

575. Wonderful artist.

576. And I finally, I point up to my wife.

577. I said, "Sorry, girls. That's the milk factory.

578. - This one's closed." - Ike.

579. - Too much. - They're darling.

580. Thank you.

581. Where are you sending them to school? Ramaz?

582. Oh, God. I don't— Barely even a month old.

583. A month? Well, you should have had

584. their references in by the third trimester.

585. Bonnie and I have actually talked about Ramaz.

586. - It's in our top five, actually. - Oh, well it should be. Good.

587. You could secure them a spot if you brought out the old checkbook.

588. Never hurts to slap a new coat of paint on the library, hey, Ike?

589. - That's a good point. - Yeah.

590. I keep forgettin'

591. Every time I hear

592. How you never want to live a lie

593. How it's gone too far

594. You wouldn't wanna maybe, I don't know, dance?

595. Oh, no. No. No, thank you.

596. Two left feet.

597. Yeah. Okay.

598. I keep forgettin'

599. But if you wanna give it a go—

600. - I'm happy to. Yeah. - No, I don't.

601. - If you don't want to— - No, I want to if you want to.

602. - Are you sure? - Absolutely.

603. I'll cover any medical costs for crushed toes.

604. Okay. Let's do this.

605. - Great. - Okay.

606. It's over.

607. Shoot.

608. Oh, well.

609. - I guess we missed it. - Yeah.

610. Hey, Dr. Ike. You're back.

611. I'm back, and I'm famished.

612. I heard they were serving the main course. Enjoy, everyone.

613. This prime rib cost me a thousand bucks a plate, so you better put out after.

614. Our next item up on the block is a must-have

615. for any New York sports fan.

616. Hold on to your hats, folks.

617. We have a game baseball signed by Yankee legend

618. Mickey Mantle himself.

619. Marty. Mickey Mantle. It's a sign.

620. I grew up loving Mickey Mantle.

621. But didn't everybody grow up loving Mickey Mantle?

622. We could really put Yaron Foundation on the map tonight.

623. - Let's buy the ball. - How does buying a baseball do that?

624. By planting our flag.

625. Announcing to the world how serious Yaron is about helping people.

626. We could really make a name for ourselves tonight. You with me?

627. I'm with you. Let's do it.

628. Okay, so why don't we start off the bidding at $500?

629. Do I hear 500?

630. 500.

631. - Thank you, sir. - 750.

632. 750. Thank you.

633. - I,000. - Okay.

634. 1,500.

635. $1,500. Thank you, Mayor.

636. Fuck, it's Mayor Koch. Mayor Koch is bidding against us.

637. - Is he even allowed to do that? - 3,000.

638. Ike, slow down.

639. We can find a less expensive baseball.

640. Marty, look at us. We're in this. We're in this.

641. - 3,000 going once... - I'll bid $4,000.

642. $4,000 from Mr. October.

643. Is that Reggie Jackson?

644. What's he doing bidding on a Yankee baseball?

645. He was a Yankee. We can't let him get away with this.

646. - 5,000. - 5,500.

647. 6,000.

648. Oh, my God. My heart is pounding in my chest.

649. 7,000.

650. Fuck you, Andy Warhol. No way he even likes baseball.

651. 7,500.

652. - 8,000. - Okay. Well, we gave it a good try.

653. $20,000.

654. 10,000.

655. - Sir, you can't go backwards. - Why not? We meant ten.

656. Sorry. 20,000. Going once.

657. - Twice. - All right.

658. $12,000.

659. $20,000.

660. Sold to the gentlemen at table nine.

661. The Yaron Foundation.

662. Who wants a tequila shot? I'm buying.

663. It's an open bar, sir.

664. All right. Well, just set 'em up and whoever wants can take.

665. Tell me something, Dr. Herschkopf. You ever played poker?

666. Well, only about every chance I get.

667. Me and some guys with the organization play once a month.

668. You wanna get in the game?

669. Well, that depends.

670. How do you feel about losing all your money, champ?

671. Marty, are you okay?

672. That was a lot of money.

673. I'm fine.

674. - Thank you. - Can I get you some water?

675. - How about some water? - No.

676. - Do you want some water? - No, no, no. Please.

677. That's nice of you.

678. - Yeah. I'm good. - Okay. Okay.

679. Actually, yes. Please.

680. - Okay. All right. - Would you mind? Is that all right?

681. - I'll be right back, okay? - Thanks.

682. Excuse me, could I have a glass of water, please?

683. Hannah! Banana fofana.

684. Dr. Ike.

685. Help yourself to a tequila shot.

686. I don't— No. No, thanks.

687. - Yeah. I— - Okay, well, suit yourself.

688. Where's Marty? Shouldn't you two be out on the dance floor? Boogie?

689. Yeah, you know what? He's actually— He's not feeling great.

690. - So I'm getting him some water 'cause— - Oh, no. What's wrong with him?

691. Well...

692. To be honest, I think he's a little freaked out

693. about how much of his money you spent on a baseball.

694. His money?

695. His money?

696. That's what he said?

697. Hannah, you don't know what you're talking about.

698. Where is he? I wanna...

699. He's sitting...

700. - He's sitting down. But— - I'll be right—

701. - I— - No, no.

702. Taxi— Ta—

703. Marty! Where are you going? We need to talk.

704. I'm not feeling so hot, Ike.

705. Can you make sure that Hannah gets home okay?

706. - You okay, buddy? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

707. I'm just having one of my panic attacks. I just need to get home. It'll pass.

708. - Okay, I can't let you do that, Marty. - No, no, no.

709. - You're not well. - I don't want any fuss.

710. - I think we should go to the hospital. - No. No, no, no.

711. - Yes. - I just have a little dizziness,

712. - shortness of breath... - Listen. Listen to me.

713. - ... tightness in my chest. - Listen.

714. I think you might be having a heart attack.

715. You go back inside and enjoy yourself.

716. - No. Come here. - I don't want anyone...

717. We're gonna get you to the hospital.

718. We're going to the hospital.

719. That's it.

720. You'll be all right.

721. Yeah, yeah. It's okay.

722. You relax. You'll be fine. You'll be okay. No, no, no. It's all right.

723. Relax. Just breathe.

724. I can leave a note in this plain envelope saying, "You're through, loser."

725. That's the nice way.

726. Or...

727. How's my favorite patient?

728. - Dr. Ike. You're back again. - Of course.

729. I'm worried about you.

730. What a treat. Look at those. That's fun.

731. It's the least I could do.

732. Marty...

733. I owe you an apology.

734. I'm sorry I got carried away at the auction last night.

735. Are you kidding me, Dr. Ike? You saved my life.

736. - Marty, please. - No, I'm serious.

737. Had I gotten in that cab and gone home,

738. I would have—

739. And no one would have been around to find me.

740. Cats would have eaten my face.

741. - You don't have a cat. - No, I know.

742. It's just, without you...

743. Hey.

744. I'm right here.

745. I'll always be here.

746. I'll look after you.

747. Thank you.

748. Okay.

749. I better let you get some rest.

750. See you in session next week?

751. Looking forward to it.

752. Those are from Hannah. Isn't that nice?

753. Very nice.

754. Do you think they're "get well" flowers

755. or "ask me out on another date" flowers?

756. Hard to say.

757. I felt like I blew it last night. Did I blow it?

758. Hope I didn't blow it, 'cause this may sound crazy,

759. but maybe there's a future there.

760. It's like you said, maybe my legacy is yet to be written.

761. Marty, it was only one date.

762. Maybe you shouldn't get so ahead of yourself.

763. No. No, I know. I just...

764. I really like her,

765. and I just don't know how she feels about me.

766. Want me to talk to her?

767. You would do that for me, Dr. Ike?

768. Of course. I'd do anything for you.

769. Great.

770. - Ike. - Hannah.

771. Hey. How is Marty?

772. Better. Much better.

773. Great.

774. Yeah, he gave us quite a scare, didn't he?

775. Yeah, he really—

776. - Yeah. - Yeah.

777. I'm glad he's okay.

778. Well, between you and me...

779. I feel awful about what happened to him.

780. I blame myself.

781. - You do? - I do.

782. As his therapist and as his friend,

783. I never should have pushed him so hard.

784. He's not a healthy man.

785. Look, Hannah.

786. Do you care about Marty?

787. Well, yeah, of course.

788. And you want what's best for him?

789. - Yes. - Good, good.

790. Me too.

791. And believe me, this is just as disappointing for me as it is for you.

792. But I think it's imperative that we do what's best for Marty,

793. however painful it might be.

794. You understand what I'm saying?

795. How was your day, hon?

796. Hey, long.

797. Any of that pastrami left, or did Anita eat it all?

798. Again, she speaks English and has full hearing capabilities.

799. Don't listen to him.

800. Besides, you ordered so much food,

801. we'll still be serving it at the girls' graduation.

802. Speaking of which, I just got them into the Ramaz school.

803. All taken care of.

804. Ramaz? How'd you manage that?

805. Let's just say I made them a generous donation.

806. Ike. Honey, how much?

807. I wish you'd talked to me about it first.

808. Relax. I used my own money.