1. This is where
Sarah Jane Smith lives.Copy !req
2. And it's home to things
way beyond your imagination.Copy !req
3. There's an extra-terrestrial
super computer in the wall,Copy !req
4. a genetically engineered
boy genius in the attic,Copy !req
5. a schoolgirl
investigator across the road,Copy !req
6. and a whole universe of adventure
right here on the doorstep.Copy !req
7. Ready?Copy !req
8. Always.Copy !req
9. I don't know how you do that.Copy !req
10. You've either got it, or you
haven't Lukey-boy.Copy !req
11. You see, art isn't something
you can learn.Copy !req
12. Surely it's a matter of
bio-mechanical transference of what
the eye sees to paper? Geometry.Copy !req
13. You see, there's your problem, you
work up here, you're all scienceCopy !req
14. and logic and Spocky stuff
like that,Copy !req
15. but you can't break
art down into maths.Copy !req
16. Everything comes down to maths.
See, not art. Art is in the soul.Copy !req
17. You don't think it..Copy !req
18. you feel it.Copy !req
19. Morning 11T.Copy !req
20. Someone's in trouble.Copy !req
21. That's Dad's serious face.Copy !req
22. Yeah, like he's got any other sort.Copy !req
23. All right, you lot, settle down.Copy !req
24. If I may, Mrs Taylor?Copy !req
25. I have an important
announcement to make.Copy !req
26. Told you.Copy !req
27. Concerning you, Clyde Langer.Copy !req
28. Me?Copy !req
29. Oh, what have I done now?Copy !req
30. Ah, no, no, don't tell me...
I turned up.Copy !req
31. All I have to do to get
some teacher's back up.Copy !req
32. You aren't in trouble, Clyde.
For once, quite the opposite.Copy !req
33. I've just had an e-mail,
from a Mr Harding,Copy !req
34. Curator of
the International Gallery. Who?Copy !req
35. At last!Copy !req
36. Indeed, Mr Harding.Copy !req
37. I never thought I would see the
day when she came into my care.Copy !req
38. So, so beautiful.Copy !req
39. No-one else could have
achieved this.Copy !req
40. The years of dedicated planning.Copy !req
41. No-one would have been man enough.Copy !req
42. We got there in the end, Miss Trupp.Copy !req
43. After all our tribulations.Copy !req
44. Yours. I only assisted.Copy !req
45. True, true. You did.Copy !req
46. And here she is...Copy !req
47. .. the Mona Lisa!Copy !req
48. Tomorrow morning, this entire
class will be the first membersCopy !req
49. of the public to see
the Mona Lisa here in the UK.Copy !req
50. And all thanks to Clyde.Copy !req
51. You won first prize!Copy !req
52. You won!Copy !req
53. Wait, wait, wait, wait, as much
as I appreciate the adulationCopy !req
54. and missing double maths tomorrow -
there's been a mistake.Copy !req
55. I never put my work into any
competition. Someone did.Copy !req
56. Well, I wonder who?Copy !req
57. They were looking for
a promising young artist.Copy !req
58. And you really are good.
Brilliant.Copy !req
59. I knew you wouldn't enter.Copy !req
60. Well, it's not good for the image
is it, some nerdy competition.Copy !req
61. I've gotta text Mum.Copy !req
62. How many times?
No mobiles in the classroom.Copy !req
63. Or at the gallery tomorrow.Copy !req
64. Their rules, not mine.Copy !req
65. You're not annoyed with me, are you?Copy !req
66. Are you serious?Copy !req
67. It's the Mona Lisa!Copy !req
68. We should press on.Copy !req
69. Yes.Copy !req
70. Oh, tomorrow will be
such a day for me!Copy !req
71. Mum? You won't believe
what's happened.Copy !req
72. Mum? I'm in your room.Copy !req
73. Look at the state of this place.Copy !req
74. Yeah, I know, but...
I thought I told you to tidy it.Copy !req
75. I will. Just listen. When?Copy !req
76. Oh, I hate to think how long all
these cups have been here. Ugh.Copy !req
77. OK.Copy !req
78. No, it isn't. And you can forget any
other plans you had for this eveningCopy !req
79. because you're blitzing this place.
Don't think K9's zapping it.Copy !req
80. He's out of bounds till it's done.
I am so disappointed in you.Copy !req
81. I don't know what you want from me.Copy !req
82. You try to give me a normal life,
but when I act likeCopy !req
83. a real teenager you want me to be
perfect, the way the Bane made me.Copy !req
84. I'm sorry you feel like that.Copy !req
85. So am I.Copy !req
86. Hand in your mobile phones
at reception and no running.Copy !req
87. No running! We're here as honoured
guests, not like some hormonal SAS.Copy !req
88. Oh, what's the use?Copy !req
89. Ah freebies!Copy !req
90. No, I'll pass, thanks.Copy !req
91. Your loss. Anyway,
what did Sarah Jane sayCopy !req
92. about me winning this prize?Copy !req
93. Nothing. We're not really talking.Copy !req
94. She's being such a mum.Copy !req
95. Yeah, well, it's probably
best she doesn't know.Copy !req
96. Careful, Clyde. Even star pupils
need to watch where they're going.Copy !req
97. Sir. So, how're you feeling?
Erm, nervous?Copy !req
98. Weirded out. I mean teachers
are never this friendly.Copy !req
99. You see, diligence has its rewards.Copy !req
100. Perhaps now you'll
put the same enthusiasmCopy !req
101. into your other school work.Copy !req
102. Mr Chandra? Park Vale? Yes.Copy !req
103. Mr Harding will receive
you upstairs. Great.Copy !req
104. Come this way.Copy !req
105. OK, everyone follow me.Copy !req
106. It's very exciting.
I'm very excited, as well.Copy !req
107. Actually much, much smaller
than you'd imagine. Really?Copy !req
108. It's very surprising
because you always...Copy !req
109. What d'you reckon, Luke?
Who's got the more enigmatic smile,Copy !req
110. me or Lisa?Copy !req
111. I really don't understand,
why is the Mona Lisa so special?Copy !req
112. It's just brown.Copy !req
113. Maybe when you see the real
thing, you'll understand.Copy !req
114. I don't really get art.
Careful, it's an art gallery,Copy !req
115. you're not supposed to
pick it up either, OK.Copy !req
116. You look, you don't touch.Copy !req
117. But this isn't art...
it's something else.Copy !req
118. Clyde.Copy !req
119. This is Mr Harding. Curator
of the gallery. Clyde Langer.Copy !req
120. We're really proud of him.
Congratulations, Clyde.Copy !req
121. You're very talented.
Such a handsome boy.Copy !req
122. Oh. This is my assistant,
Miss Trupp.Copy !req
123. Now... You really are
so gifted, Clyde.Copy !req
124. Cheers. When I saw your
picture, I knew you'd win.Copy !req
125. It wasn't up to me, but if it
had been you'd definitely have won.Copy !req
126. Well, you did! So...
it's all turned out for the best.Copy !req
127. Miss Trupp, perhaps you should go
and check the final preparations.Copy !req
128. Oh. Yes.Copy !req
129. Big day for all of us.Copy !req
130. Clyde, follow me.Copy !req
131. Your masterpiece awaits.Copy !req
132. Come along, chop-chop,
this place should be clear by now.Copy !req
133. Do you know how lucky you are?Copy !req
134. Lionel worships you.Copy !req
135. If only he looked at me
with the same eyes.Copy !req
136. Oh, quit your moaning, love...Copy !req
137. do us all a favour.Copy !req
138. Who said that?Copy !req
139. You can hear me?Copy !req
140. Well, now there's a first.Copy !req
141. So let's try this for another.Copy !req
142. And here we are.
In pride of place.Copy !req
143. No way.Copy !req
144. Is something wrong?Copy !req
145. It's just...Copy !req
146. ..my work in a proper gallery.Copy !req
147. We told you, Clyde, it's brilliant.Copy !req
148. Shut up! Agreed. Some order, please.Copy !req
149. Mrs Taylor.Copy !req
150. Apart from the obvious
artistic flair,Copy !req
151. your imagination is so impressive.Copy !req
152. The detail in the weaponry!Copy !req
153. I don't know where
you get your inspiration.Copy !req
154. Please.Copy !req
155. They're Sontaran
blasters, aren't they?Copy !req
156. Well, spotted. That's why
you didn't want Mum to know.Copy !req
157. Yeah, oh, and don't tell her
I've been drawing K9, either.Copy !req
158. You know, I always used to
play this sort of stuff down.Copy !req
159. I thought people'd laugh at me.Copy !req
160. You mean you thought drawing
wasn't cool. Something like that.Copy !req
161. Well, it is cool and
believe me no-one's laughing.Copy !req
162. When I was younger,
no brothers or sisters...Copy !req
163. I used to draw, for company.Copy !req
164. But maybe I could really
do something with this.Copy !req
165. And so to the prize.Copy !req
166. Prepare to meet the Mona Lisa!Copy !req
167. The Mona Lisa, a painting begun
by Leonardo da Vinci in 1503Copy !req
168. in Florence, but finished only
shortly before he died in 1519.Copy !req
169. For over 500 years the Mona
Lisa's beauty has remained undimmed.Copy !req
170. She has been gazed upon by
millions in her Paris home,Copy !req
171. now, she is here.Copy !req
172. Feast your eyes,
and lose your hearts...Copy !req
173. I give you...Copy !req
174. the Mona Lisa!Copy !req
175. She has let herself go.Copy !req
176. Isn't that his assistant?Copy !req
177. Security.Copy !req
178. The Mona Lisa has been stolen.Copy !req
179. Excuse me, Sarah Jane,
I am detecting unusual brainCopy !req
180. pattern activity and your ability
to concentrate appears compromised.Copy !req
181. Are you unwell?
No. I'm fine, Mr Smith.Copy !req
182. It's Luke.
But Luke has perfect health.Copy !req
183. That is how he was made by the Bane.Copy !req
184. Yes, I know.
The perfect human being.Copy !req
185. But nothing stays perfect
for ever, does it? I am sorry.Copy !req
186. I'm not sure that I understand.Copy !req
187. Luke isn't ill. He's growing up.Copy !req
188. I believe it is a normal part of
breeding patterns in most species.Copy !req
189. Yes, I know.Copy !req
190. And I've tried so hard to make
Luke's life as normal as possible.Copy !req
191. In a way it helped make mine
a little more normal, too.Copy !req
192. Before I met Luke, who was I?Copy !req
193. A lonely, frosty
woman in the big houseCopy !req
194. who knew more about creatures from
outer-space than she did humans.Copy !req
195. I have always considered
the intricacy of humanCopy !req
196. nature excessively complicated in
comparison to most other life forms.Copy !req
197. You and me both, old friend.Copy !req
198. And being a mum is just about
as complicated as it gets.Copy !req
199. Most parents have years to get used
to it. I'm still finding my feetCopy !req
200. and already I'm realising that
one day it's going to be over.Copy !req
201. One day Luke will be gone.Copy !req
202. One day, perhaps, very soon.Copy !req
203. I told them security
had to be improved here.Copy !req
204. I told them, after that
Cup of Athelstan fiasco at Easter.Copy !req
205. Oh, my beautiful Mona Lisa!Copy !req
206. The French will have my head!Copy !req
207. If you could all stay calm
as we move outCopy !req
208. and let the police do their job.Copy !req
209. There's something freaky about this.Copy !req
210. Just because something shady
happens doesn't meanCopy !req
211. there are aliens behind it.Copy !req
212. When my bike got nicked,Copy !req
213. did you think that was ET the ASBO,
cycling home?Copy !req
214. Did I mention aliens? Rani's right.Copy !req
215. Why would they put a picture of
Miss Trupp in the Mona Lisa's place?Copy !req
216. Maybe she's behind it all.Copy !req
217. Maybe it's her calling card?
"The Truppmeistress has struck!"Copy !req
218. Even if this isn't alien,
it's weird enough for Sarah Jane.Copy !req
219. We should call her.
No. We don't need her. We can...Copy !req
220. do this ourselves.Copy !req
221. OK, then.Copy !req
222. But first we need to lose my dad.Copy !req
223. Have you seen Jonathan, no?
Are you sure?Copy !req
224. Excuse me, Mr Chandra.Copy !req
225. Yes, what is it, Luke?
I need the toilet.Copy !req
226. Me too, sir, I'm busting.Copy !req
227. And me. OK. But be quick.Copy !req
228. Sir. And then straight to the coach.
Nice one, Luke.Copy !req
229. What?
Good cover story.Copy !req
230. No, I really need the loo.Copy !req
231. Oh, well, like Dad says... be quick!Copy !req
232. I am picking up news reports
from the International Gallery.Copy !req
233. The Mona Lisa has been stolen.Copy !req
234. The Mona Lisa? I don't believe it.Copy !req
235. The security at the International
Gallery was supposed to be massive.Copy !req
236. So the reports suggest.Copy !req
237. All the same, if it hasn't been
taken by inter-galactic art thieves,Copy !req
238. it's not really my thing.Copy !req
239. Or are you trying to
distract me, Mr Smith?Copy !req
240. I simply thought the news
report would be of interest.Copy !req
241. OK. Show me.Copy !req
242. It's understood that
the theft was discoveredCopy !req
243. as the Mona Lisa was about to be
unveiled for a party of studentsCopy !req
244. from Park Vale Comprehensive
in Ealing.Copy !req
245. What? Park Vale pupil, Clyde LangerCopy !req
246. won first prize in the gallery's
Artists of the Future competition.Copy !req
247. This is Lizo Mzimba reporting
from the International Gallery.Copy !req
248. Then Luke must have been there too.Copy !req
249. He never said anything.Copy !req
250. Not a word.Copy !req
251. Police!Copy !req
252. We'll never get past them.
There has to be another way in.Copy !req
253. We need a map. Like this one?Copy !req
254. You see, you never turn down
a freebie, Luke.Copy !req
255. Luke's not answering.Copy !req
256. The gallery prohibits the use
of mobile telephones.Copy !req
257. But I have info from
the Metropolitan PoliceCopy !req
258. computer system that
you may find of interest.Copy !req
259. What exactly am I looking at?Copy !req
260. This is a Crime Scene
photograph of the Mona Lisa.Copy !req
261. Mr Smith, that isn't the Mona Lisa.Copy !req
262. My infra-red analysis confirms
the brush-stroke patternsCopy !req
263. of Leonardo da Vinci.
This is the Mona Lisa.Copy !req
264. But it can't be. Who is that woman?Copy !req
265. Phyllis Trupp, personal assistant
to the gallery's curator.Copy !req
266. where she lists her
interests as "salsa dancing."Copy !req
267. She says she is open minded
and willing to try...Copy !req
268. Thank you, Mr Smith.
What's happened to her?Copy !req
269. I can only surmise
molecular trans-placement.Copy !req
270. She is still alive and conscious...Copy !req
271. but trapped in the canvas
of a 500 year old painting.Copy !req
272. What could have caused this?
Insufficient data.Copy !req
273. So this isn't anything like a
straight-forward art theft, is it?Copy !req
274. It would seem not.Copy !req
275. Which means, the other question is,
if that's Phyllis Trupp...Copy !req
276. where on earth is the Mona Lisa?Copy !req
277. This place is like a maze!Copy !req
278. Or like finding your way
through Level FourCopy !req
279. of Alien Devastation Three.Copy !req
280. I thought you said you could
find your way with that map?Copy !req
281. Men and maps! Hey!Copy !req
282. I can read a map.
I was in the cubs...Copy !req
283. well until they kicked me out. But
you don't want to hear about that.Copy !req
284. Clyde. Yes, I know my picture would
look great in your lounge.Copy !req
285. Just get your dad
to make me an offer.Copy !req
286. I don't want your painting, Clyde.Copy !req
287. I want to know what happened to the
gun that was in it. Galaxia's gun!Copy !req
288. Whose?Copy !req
289. OK, so I gave them names. Can we
move on now? What matters is...Copy !req
290. What are you doing here?Copy !req
291. The police are conducting
an investigation.Copy !req
292. they don't need a bunch
of schoolchildrenCopy !req
293. roaming around, disturbing evidence.Copy !req
294. Well, it isn't just your Mona Lisa
that's been stolen now, is it?Copy !req
295. One of the guns in Clyde's
painting has vanished. Look.Copy !req
296. It's dry.Copy !req
297. The gun wasn't painted out,
Mr Harding. It was taken.Copy !req
298. Whatever we're dealing with
it's more than just an art thief.Copy !req
299. Oh, you better believe it, sugar.
She's got my gun!Copy !req
300. She went to the toilet
and that's the last I saw of her.Copy !req
301. No, Gita, the police won't let me
back in. No, I can't ring her.Copy !req
302. No phones allowed inside.
Look, I'll call you back.Copy !req
303. Haresh, hello. Sarah Jane. I suppose
you know about the Mona Lisa?Copy !req
304. Of course. The crime of the century
and story of the year.Copy !req
305. Where's Luke? The thing is they've
closed the galleryCopy !req
306. and Luke, Rani and Clyde
are still inside so...Copy !req
307. Why don't you look after
the rest of the kids,Copy !req
308. and I'll see what I can do.Copy !req
309. In my line of work you get a knack
for opening closed doors.Copy !req
310. You sure? Mmm. Thank you.Copy !req
311. Mrs Taylor, kids, come on. Quickly.
Move. Phones away. Are you chewing?Copy !req
312. Put your phones away please.Copy !req
313. Thank you. OK. Come on.Copy !req
314. Who are you?Copy !req
315. And I thought you were
supposed to be an art expert!Copy !req
316. I am the Mona Lisa.Copy !req
317. No, but really? Yeah, really.Copy !req
318. You can't fake this kinda class.Copy !req
319. You can't be the Mona Lisa,Copy !req
320. you have to be some sort of
alien manifestation.Copy !req
321. Whoooh. And why's that, then?Copy !req
322. Because, on Earth,
women in paintingsCopy !req
323. don't just jump out of their frames.Copy !req
324. And nick guns from
someone's painting.Copy !req
325. Do you know how long
that took me to paint?Copy !req
326. Not bad.
Not in my league, of course.Copy !req
327. But then Leo was
a bit of a ledge even back then.Copy !req
328. Although he had to blag the oils off
his weirdo neighbour to paint me.Copy !req
329. OK. Say that's true. Now you're out
of your frame, what is it you want?Copy !req
330. I've just had five centuries
hanging on a wall, sugar.Copy !req
331. What is it you think I want?Copy !req
332. It's time I had a bit of fun.Copy !req
333. And I think I'll start with some
target practice. Run for it!Copy !req
334. So it's just you
and me now, Harders.Copy !req
335. Sonic Scarlet,Copy !req
336. my favourite shade.Copy !req
337. Oh, boy. That's it...
now I have seen everything.Copy !req
338. We so have to get hold of
Sarah Jane. And I mean now.Copy !req
339. No. What's got in to you?Copy !req
340. Why are you being so
weird about your mum?Copy !req
341. Luke and Sarah Jane
have had a barney... Rani.Copy !req
342. Never mind that. Where is everyone?Copy !req
343. On the coach.
My dad'll be going mental by now.Copy !req
344. What about the police.
Forensics should beCopy !req
345. crawling all over this place.Copy !req
346. Something's wrong.Copy !req
347. It is.Copy !req
348. So very, very wrong.Copy !req
349. A whole new kind of wrong.Copy !req
350. Mia Bella!Copy !req
351. Is it...Copy !req
352. is it really you?Copy !req
353. Oh, go on then, touch me.Copy !req
354. I know you want to.Copy !req
355. I've seen the way you look at me.Copy !req
356. I remember when you came
to the Louvre. The Louvre?Copy !req
357. Actually, every time you came.Copy !req
358. Twenty seconds, that's all
anyone gets to see meCopy !req
359. and then, move along
s'il vous plait.Copy !req
360. You always put up quite a struggle.Copy !req
361. It's a shame they had
to ban you in the end.Copy !req
362. It is you!Copy !req
363. It really is you!Copy !req
364. And you are going to have to
get used to thatCopy !req
365. because we've got a lot
of work to do.Copy !req
366. I don't understand.Copy !req
367. We have to find my brother.Copy !req
368. Definite traces of alien energy.Copy !req
369. Two of them.Copy !req
370. He's here somewhere...Copy !req
371. I know he is.Copy !req
372. But there's nothing to suggest
in any academic workCopy !req
373. that you had a brother.Copy !req
374. Not had, Harders, have.Copy !req
375. And he's here somewhere amongst
this tat just waiting for me.Copy !req
376. You mean another painting.Copy !req
377. Yes, I can see how you
got the job here, Harders.Copy !req
378. And that's why I need you.Copy !req
379. You know every brush
stroke in this place.Copy !req
380. Well, what does he look like,
your brother?Copy !req
381. I've never seen him
so I haven't got a clue.Copy !req
382. But he'll have been painted
around the same time as me,Copy !req
383. the same place as me.Copy !req
384. Next door, in fact. I've got it!Copy !req
385. Follow me!Copy !req
386. Oh, it's locked.
We have to find a phone.Copy !req
387. I don't care what you say, Luke,Copy !req
388. what's happened to those people
is beyond freaky.Copy !req
389. We're calling your mum.Copy !req
390. I don't think there's any need.Copy !req
391. Her car's here.Copy !req
392. Residual alien energy.Copy !req
393. But if this is, or was,
a painting by Leonardo,Copy !req
394. how is that possible?Copy !req
395. Do you know, Phyllis?Copy !req
396. I know you can hear me,
even though you can't answer.Copy !req
397. I promise you,
I'm going to get you out of there.Copy !req
398. If he was painted at the same time
as you, his has to be him.Copy !req
399. Has to be.Copy !req
400. Not only a contemporary of Leonardo,
but a neighbour in Florence.Copy !req
401. Him? He's not much of a looker,
is he? Giuseppe Di Cattivo.Copy !req
402. 1450 to 1518, whose work is
often compared to his moreCopy !req
403. famous contemporary Hieronymus Bosch.Copy !req
404. Poor GiuseppeCopy !req
405. he died in a lunatic asylum.Copy !req
406. No... no, this isn't him. But...Copy !req
407. Come out, come out, whoever you are!Copy !req
408. I can hear you breathing!Copy !req
409. Who would've thought a painting
would have such good hearing,Copy !req
410. Mona Lisa? But then Leonardo
was such a stickler for detail.Copy !req
411. On the subject of detail...Copy !req
412. mind filling in the obvious blank?Copy !req
413. My name is Sarah Jane Smith.
And that is a Sontaran blaster,Copy !req
414. do you mind telling me
where you got it?Copy !req
415. Oooh, I just took it
from the paintingCopy !req
416. that lad Clyde did, cos I thought
it looked a little bit flash.Copy !req
417. Oh, Clyde. You'd better not have
harmed him or his friends!Copy !req
418. Oh, no, don't concern yourself.
They're perfectly safe.Copy !req
419. I'm Lionel Harding
curator of the museum.Copy !req
420. Mr Harding, whatever is happening
here, don't worry. I can help you.Copy !req
421. Thank you, I'm not sure I need it.Copy !req
422. Ah, you see Harders here,
he's my number one fan.Copy !req
423. Listen to me, she is dangerous.
Look what she did to Miss Trupp.Copy !req
424. Now you don't want to worry about
that old trout do you Harders?Copy !req
425. I mean, you never
did before, did you?Copy !req
426. And, let's face it,
she never was an oil painting.Copy !req
427. At least not till now!Copy !req
428. Release her. Now!Copy !req
429. Oooh, I might think about it.Copy !req
430. Depends if you stay out of my way.Copy !req
431. Sarah Jane Smith?Copy !req
432. Sarah Jane,Copy !req
433. where do I know that name?Copy !req
434. Oh! oohh that Sarah Jane.Copy !req
435. Seems like no-one wants you around,
Sazza. Not even your son.Copy !req
436. What?
Hmmm, heard him talking before...Copy !req
437. he'd like you to keep your nose out.
And so would I.Copy !req
438. I'm sorry, whatever you're
planning I am not stepping aside.Copy !req
439. That's your choice. No, Mia Bella!Copy !req
440. What is that? That is my brother.Copy !req
441. Is it me, or did things
just get uncomfortable?Copy !req
442. What's going on?Copy !req
443. Well, give me a second,
and I'll put you in the picture.Copy !req
444. No.Copy !req
445. That's Mum!Copy !req
446. Sarah Jane? Mum?Copy !req
447. Luke?Copy !req
448. I've found her.Copy !req
449. No, Mum!Copy !req
450. And that is how she'll stay...Copy !req
451. .. forever!Copy !req
452. Run!Copy !req
453. I have not been released from wood
and paint to be trapped in here.Copy !req
454. A legend, a painting
too terrifying to be exhibited.Copy !req
455. Once we are united your reign
of fire and sulphur shall beginCopy !req
456. and the world will be a rage
of flames at our feet.Copy !req