The Sarah Jane Adventures 3x12

1. 13, Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives,

2. and it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

3. There's an extra-terrestrial super-computer in the wall,

4. a genetically engineered boy genius in the attic,

5. a schoolgirl investigator across the road

6. and a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.

7. Ready?

8. Always.

9. We are Blathereen.

10. I think it's a brilliant idea, a dinner party.

11. This little plant could save millions of lives.

12. Will you be our ambassador?

13. Our Rakweed will change your planet for ever.

14. How's the pot plant? Savaged anyone in the night?

15. 'The Rakweed is not harmless.'

16. I can see that. There's a great big flower sticking out of it now.

17. Mum, I'm so tired.

18. What's this?

19. 'The plant appears to have mutated.'

20. 'It will send its victims into a deep, deep coma

21. 'from which they will never return.'

22. Mr Smith, I need you.

23. Mr Smith, please, help us!

24. 'Launching venting system.'

25. 'Maximum extraction.'

26. Mr Smith, you are amazing!

27. 'Every computer has a cooling mechanism,

28. 'though applying it at full power has severely depleted

29. 'my energy banks.'

30. What do I do with this thing?

31. Luke, can you hear me? It's Mum.

32. Yeah.

33. I'm... I'm fine.

34. Oh, Luke.

35. What's it done to him?

36. 'The Rakweed spores not only re-seed the plant.

37. 'They are also its weapon against anything, or anyone,

38. standing in its path.' Surely Luke's much stronger than a normal human?

39. 'He is, and maybe able to resist the effects for longer.

40. 'However, he inhaled the spores directly into his lungs.'

41. Oh, Luke, I am so sorry.

42. Do not write on the question sheet.

43. Use the paper provided for your answers.

44. Here you go, K9. Questions!

45. Just relay your answers into this.

46. 'Relaying answers is unethical.'

47. Shh! You said a test was

48. "one human demonstrating intellectual superiority over others".

49. I have brought a supercomputer into school.

50. That's pretty smart, wouldn't you say?

51. 'Logic irrefutable.'

52. Good dog. Now keep it short and to the point.

53. You're actually going through with this, aren't you?

54. Cheating at a test.

55. No morals at all.

56. And that's why you love me.

57. Mmm, dream on, Clyde, dream on.

58. 'First question processed.'

59. 'Monitoring Luke's condition.

60. 'The poison has infected 63% of his cells, but time's running out.'

61. You analysed the plant.

62. You must have some idea how to fight it.

63. 'The Rakweed's genetic structure is adapting constantly.

64. 'It could take me days to create an antidote.

65. 'Even then it might not work.

66. 'We have half an hour at the most.'

67. There's got to be a way. We must be able to help. He's only 15.

68. 'I'm receiving a local news report of a similar case to Luke's.'

69. Put it up, Mr Smith.

70. 'This morning a number of people have

71. 'been admitted to Park Vale Hospital after collapsing at home or at work.

72. 'Doctors are unsure what has caused the unusual marks on their bodies,

73. 'although it has been suggested they may indicate a rare tropical disease.

74. 'This looks like it might be another case arriving now.

75. 'Excuse me, Doctor... Stay back.

76. 'Excuse me, Doctor. Cameron Marsh, BBC News.

77. 'Any comment for BBC News, sir?

78. 'Any comment for BBC News, Doctor?'

79. How quickly can it spread?

80. 'At its current rate of propagation, the Rakweed will have seeded

81. 'the whole of London within a few hours,

82. 'and in approximately three days

83. 'the plant could easily have consumed the entire planet.'

84. Luke?

85. Can you hear me?

86. Yes, Mum, I can hear you...

87. I'm leaving you with Mr Smith. He'll take care of you.

88. 'Where are you going, Sarah Jane?'

89. If you can't give me an antidote, then there's no choice.

90. The Blathereen started this and they're going to stop it.

91. 'But they'll be halfway across the galaxy by now.'

92. You think? No, I bet they want to stick around, see their plan unfold.

93. Scan for their ship, Mr Smith.

94. 'Their ship is shielded. Remember, I did not detect its approach.'

95. 'Without their teleport coordinates it cannot be located.'

96. Lucky I made a note last night.

97. What's that?

98. That was weird.

99. What don't you understand about "absolute quiet", Clyde?

100. But, Miss... If you recall, this is a test and that means...

101. 'Master Clyde?' Are you hiding something?

102. What on earth is that thing?

103. Who's making that stupid noise?

104. Everyone, quiet.

105. 'Master Clyde, detecting alien plant DNA which has entered this room.'

106. Is that Rakweed?

107. It's flowering. What's it doing here?

108. Will everyone please be quiet!

109. Miss, that plant, I think it could be dangerous.

110. What plant? Over there.

111. Miss!

112. Everyone get out of here right now!

113. She's passed out.

114. You're going to be all right.

115. Nobody's taking you away from me.

116. 'Teleport trajectory indicates the Blathereen have left

117. 'Earth's immediate vicinity.'

118. No, no, wait a moment. That beam's not heading away from Earth.

119. It's heading towards a satellite. 'And being relayed back to Earth.'

120. Antarctica.

121. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

122. You have to feel sorry for her.

123. Why? She took the Rakweed because she wanted the glory.

124. Same reason they always do.

125. Get their ugly faces in the paper.

126. I expected a little more resistance from the famous Sarah Jane Smith.

127. She was a pushover! Ha ha ha ha!

128. It's thanks to her that very soon their entire planet

129. will be nothing but Rakweed.

130. And then... let the harvest begin!

131. At least she's still breathing.

132. We couldn't have helped her. It would have got us, too.

133. I knew those Blathereen were trouble.

134. We've got to stop this. Come on.

135. Mr Smith, can you remotely activate the Blathereen teleport,

136. get me to their ship?

137. 'I'd only have enough energy left for a one-way trip.'

138. I'll take my chances.

139. I'm not going to stand here and watch Luke die.

140. 'Who will save the world if something happens to you?'

141. This time it's about Luke.

142. 'Rakweed now spreading throughout London.'

143. This is loaded with vinegar.

144. You're going to do exactly as I say or I'll blast you to oblivion.

145. She's alive. It's just knocking everyone out.

146. How did the Rakweed get from Sarah Jane's house to here?

147. You saw those seed things. It must be spreading itself.

148. It's obviously not a good idea to breathe them in.

149. Maybe that's what made Luke ill this morning.

150. Rani? 'Luke,'

151. the Rakweed, it got you, didn't it? Are you OK?

152. Yeah, I'm all right.

153. You sound terrible.

154. Where's Sarah Jane? Is she looking after you?

155. She's gone... find Blathereen.

156. 'Luke?'

157. Luke?

158. He's ill. Really ill.

159. And Sarah Jane's with the Blathereen. No idea where.

160. Then we've got to sort this by ourselves, just the two of us.

161. Correction, Master Clyde.

162. Three of us.

163. And you called me insane for bringing K9 to school.

164. Come on. We've got to get to Luke.

165. My son is dying

166. and I'm not going to let you or anyone take him away from me.

167. So keep perfectly still.

168. I am feeling trigger-happy.

169. You're making a terrible mistake.

170. We didn't do anything. We're innocent. Honestly we are.

171. I don't believe you. Now, fix it!

172. All right, we knew the Rakweed would spread,

173. but we didn't realise the damage it would do. We're sorry.

174. We will reverse the process. Leef?

175. We have no choice, my dear.

176. Entering computer code.

177. Destroy all Rakweed.

178. The Rakweed is being eliminated.

179. It will take a few seconds.

180. Confirm Rakweed density on Earth.

181. 'Rakweed fully eliminated.'

182. Would you mind putting the weapon down, Sarah Jane?

183. It's Miss Smith to you. Please, Miss Smith?

184. Let go of me!

185. Computer, return to normal view.

186. Good try, Miss Smith, but not good enough.

187. That's exactly the phrase the Slitheen used.

188. Now, we were just having dinner.

189. Why don't you join us?

190. No, thank you. But we insist.

191. Why bother with these?

192. Just wanted to see if they work.

193. That chair cost a fortune.

194. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

195. What do we do?

196. It's everywhere!

197. Watch out!

198. 'Please, stand back.'

199. K9, can you blast them, too?

200. 'Energy required too great.

201. 'This unit has insufficient power.'

202. We're trapped.

203. Come on! The canteen.

204. This is much more civilised, isn't it?

205. Sure you won't take a little Rakweed? It really is delicious.

206. Now I understand why you're obsessed with it.

207. You're addicted to it. We are not!

208. We... we just love it, that's all.

209. You'd understand if you tried some.

210. And my son is dying just to fuel your addiction.

211. Even we couldn't eat all that, and we wouldn't want to.

212. An entire planet of Rakweed

213. will be worth a fortune on the galactic market.

214. Small as Earth is, it's still a useful plot of land.

215. Billions of people killed, and all you see is a plot of land?

216. We're simple farming folk, Miss Smith.

217. But one day our farm will span the entire galaxy.

218. How far's this spread? Just the school grounds or further?

219. If it got from Sarah Jane's to here, it's not looking good.

220. Then there'll be news reports? Yeah.

221. It's clear.

222. 'Master Clyde, Mistress Rani...'

223. Hurry up!

224. 'Cases of the, as yet, unidentified infection

225. 'have increased to over 300,

226. 'and doctors warn there could be more in the coming days.

227. 'It all started in Ealing, but it's now spread as far

228. 'as Southall, Perivale, Acton and Chiswick.

229. 'Members of the public, especially those in West London,

230. 'are advised to act with extreme caution.'

231. What would Sarah Jane do?

232. She'd do what she always does - improvise.

233. Come on.

234. What a joy to see someone as smug

235. as Sarah Jane Smith destroy the planet she fought so hard to save.

236. Kill me by all means, but not the children.

237. Don't you have any of your own?

238. Oh, no. Nasty little things.

239. Profit is our progeny.

240. Isn't using the Earth for a fast buck more the Slitheen style?

241. How dare you! We're nothing like the Slitheen.

242. We're much, much worse.

243. They lack our cunning, our vision, our good looks.

244. Now, now, Leef.

245. We must still show some tolerance towards our relatives.

246. Your relatives?

247. Didn't we say? We're double-barrelled, Miss Smith.

248. We are the Slitheen-Blathereen,

249. the descendants of an inter-clan marriage many generations ago.

250. Why doesn't that surprise me?

251. You're as bad as they are!

252. For that remark, we won't kill you.

253. We'll keep you alive to watch your beloved Earth die.

254. And then we'll kill you. Ha-ha-ha!

255. Right, that's the gym, art and canteen blocks.

256. There's got to be one exit that isn't blocked by Rakweed.

257. What about a window?

258. It's locked.

259. Give me a shove up. Oh, all the glamorous jobs.

260. Oh, even I could get through that.

261. 'Warning. Danger.'

262. Get back! Clyde, don't!

263. What?

264. How did that just happen?

265. End of period bell. Must have been.

266. Saved by the bell.

267. That's what I like to see.

268. My wonderful little plant spreading.

269. You know, it was my husband

270. who engineered this wonderful new strain of Rakweed?

271. Genetically modified to re-seed at an incredible rate.

272. The Rakweed's song will be filling the air. How sweet it must sound.

273. You mean that awful noise?

274. Hardly call that a song.

275. It's a living thing. Communication is the mainstay of all life.

276. Communication?

277. That's interesting.

278. Without that, how can the Rakweed unite and colonise an entire planet?

279. 'Rakweed now at 93%.'

280. Miss Smith?

281. She can't just have vanished!

282. Lost something?

283. Leave that alone!

284. Get after her, you idiot!

285. Activate the teleport.

286. She's broken it, stupid woman!

287. Well, un-break it! We're paying Miss Smith a visit,

288. and this time it'll be us having her for dinner!

289. Luke?

290. We need you to set the bell off again,

291. but much, much louder this time. K9, can you boost the volume?

292. 'Easily accomplished.'

293. 'Frequency adjusted. Activating.'

294. It's working.

295. Way to go, K9! You did it!

296. Can you turn it off now?

297. It's still alive outside. We're never going to defeat it.

298. Can you link me to Mr Smith?

299. 'If necessary. However, contact with that computer interferes

300. 'with this unit's synaptic circuits.'

301. You mean he gets on your nerves?

302. 'Affirmative.' Those two have really got to work through their issues.

303. Clyde! Are you OK?

304. Yeah, we're fine.

305. And we think we've found a way to kill the Rakweed - the school bell.

306. Brilliant! You're both brilliant!

307. 'It seems to work, but we're not sure why.'

308. 'It's because the Rakweed is connected by that'

309. terrible wailing sound.

310. It's how the plant stays alive, communicates.

311. 'The bell must break that link.'

312. So we should blast the sound of the bell across the entire city?

313. Or something similar. 'Good thinking, Rani.

314. 'Replicate it and we're winning. Mr Smith?'

315. 'I can do that, but I would need to know the exact frequency.'

316. 'K9 can tell you.'

317. K9? What's he doing there?

318. I'll explain later.

319. K9, give Mr Smith the bell's frequency.

320. '1421.09 hertz.'

321. 'I am now linking to all electrical devices in the area invaded

322. 'by the Rakweed and retuning them to replicate the bell's frequency.

323. 'Prepare yourself, Sarah Jane.' Cover your ears.

324. This is going to be really, really loud.

325. That's enough for now.

326. It's over!

327. Yes!

328. Go, Clydey. Go, Rani. Go, Sarah Jane!

329. Yeah, never mind all that. Let's get out of here. Yeah.

330. Mum... You're back. Luke, thank goodness you're all right!

331. What happened?

332. Clyde and Rani, they're brilliant.

333. And so are you.

334. I was more frightened than I've ever been in my life.

335. I nearly lost the most important thing in the Universe.

336. You. Oh, Luke.

337. It's gone!

338. No, it's all gone!

339. Our Rakweed crop, dead!

340. Miss Smith is going to regret this.

341. As soon as I've adjusted the focusing crystal, we're away.

342. And then she will pay... in blood!

343. That noise, Mr Smith.

344. If I needed you to produce it again but just in the attic, could you?

345. 'Yes, but for what purpose?' Sarah Jane!

346. Are you OK? Yeah, I'm fine now.

347. Destroying the Rakweed seems to reverse its effects.

348. And you two are absolute stars. What a team you make!

349. Just put it down to pure genius.

350. 'Mistress.'

351. K9, what happened to you?

352. Rani and I took him for... walkies. Don't drag me into this.

353. 'Negative. Master Clyde took me to school to assist with his tests.'

354. He did, did he?

355. Clyde, you don't need to cheat. Have faith in your own abilities.

356. We meet again, Miss Smith!

357. Oh, why don't you just go home?

358. This is your final warning.

359. The Slitheen-Blathereen do not take kindly to ultimatums!

360. Slitheen-Blathereen? I knew it!

361. Then they're only half-bad.

362. Rani's right. Why don't you forget your Slitheen side,

363. give your Blathereen blood a chance?

364. Not all your family can be crooked.

365. The Blathereen are useless, soft-hearted do-gooders.

366. Nothing but middle management.

367. We prefer the view from the top.

368. I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice.

369. I've been dying to say this for ages. Let the hunt begin!

370. Hit it, Mr Smith!

371. Ha-ha-ha!

372. It is our sense of smell that's highly developed, not our hearing.

373. That's enough, Mr Smith!

374. Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh!

375. What have you done to us?

376. My stomach! It's...

377. Aaagh! Aaagh!

378. I'm sorry.

379. 'Disintegration successful.'

380. 'You don't say(!)'

381. Why does this always happen to me?

382. Mum, you did it!

383. They were going to kill us.

384. I had to do it.

385. What did you do?

386. On their ship, all they did was stuff their faces with Rakweed.

387. I knew their stomachs would still be full of it.

388. 'The destruction of the undigested Rakweed created methane gas.

389. 'It could not be contained.'

390. So they farted themselves to death?

391. 'In a nutshell, Master Clyde.'

392. But this isn't how it should end.

393. There should've been another way.

394. A better way.

395. You're amazing, Sarah Jane.

396. Which is more than can be said for people who cheat at tests.

397. But who's ever gonna want to know about the life cycle of a plant?

398. Ah-hem...

399. Fair enough.

400. Now, fetch yourself a mop in the kitchen and clean up this mess.

401. 'For once, I truly hoped we'd found a friend out there,

402. 'someone Earth could trust,

403. 'a way for us all to move forward, humans and aliens together.

404. 'I was wrong... This time.'

405. One clean attic!

406. 'But it doesn't mean our next visitors will be the same.'

407. You've cremated our picnic.

408. 'There are friends out there, too.

409. 'Friends who really will want to help us.

410. 'And as we all know, there's nothing more important than friendship.

411. 'And then, one day, with a little luck and a lot of hard work,

412. 'Earth could be a shining example to the entire Universe.'