1. 13 Bannerman Road is where
Sarah Jane Smith livesCopy !req
2. It's home to things beyond
your imagination.Copy !req
3. There's an extra-terrestrial
super computer in the wall,Copy !req
4. a genetically engineered
boy genius in the attic,Copy !req
5. a schoolgirl investigator
across the road,Copy !req
6. and a whole universe of adventure
right here on the doorstep.Copy !req
7. Ready?Copy !req
8. Always.Copy !req
9. There he is!Copy !req
10. Don't let him get away!Copy !req
11. That's impossible!Copy !req
12. No, it isn't!Copy !req
13. He's got to be in here somewhere.Copy !req
14. He's just a kid! What does he
want with a... what's it called?Copy !req
15. A matter compressor.Copy !req
16. Maybe he wants
some matter compressed?Copy !req
17. Whatever his reason,
the Pharos Institute need it back!Copy !req
18. Split up.Copy !req
19. SQUELCH!Copy !req
20. Did you hear that?Copy !req
21. It can't be...Copy !req
22. It is!Copy !req
23. The Slitheen! They're back!Copy !req
24. Oi!Copy !req
25. Get off me. Are you OK?Copy !req
26. Don't worry about us,
where did it go?Copy !req
27. If Slitheen are back on Earth
it means mayhem on a global scale.Copy !req
28. What do they want this time?Copy !req
29. Same as usual
convert our planet into cash.Copy !req
30. Then how do we find it?
We'd need a bloodhound.Copy !req
31. Oh, why didn't I think of that?Copy !req
32. Mistress.Copy !req
33. Activating hover mode.Copy !req
34. What are you doing
out of your disguise?Copy !req
35. Can't run in human skin.Copy !req
36. It's too tight. Needed to lose them.Copy !req
37. Lose who? Give you one guess.Copy !req
38. Sarah Jane Smith.Copy !req
39. I wondered how long it'd be
till she shoved her oar in.Copy !req
40. Yeah, but I got away.Copy !req
41. And I nabbed the matter compressor.Copy !req
42. We wouldn't have had to steal one
if you hadn't sat on ours!Copy !req
43. Now nothing can stop us from
turning this scuzzy little planetCopy !req
44. into a massive money-spinner.Copy !req
45. And so it begins!Copy !req
46. Greetings Mistress!Copy !req
47. We need you to follow a trail, K9.Copy !req
48. He can smell? How?Copy !req
49. Psychospore and olfactory sensors.Copy !req
50. Yeah, yeah, that clears that up.
We're looking for a Slitheen.Copy !req
51. Alien pheromone detected, Mistress.Copy !req
52. Trail leads in this direction.Copy !req
53. Give me a visual!Copy !req
54. Initialise compression web!Copy !req
55. Not that one, idiot!Copy !req
56. Compression web initialised!Copy !req
57. Very soon the Slitheen will be
the richest family in the galaxy!Copy !req
58. Insufficient data. Insufficient data.Copy !req
59. You've lost him, K9? No!Copy !req
60. Affirmative, Mistress.Copy !req
61. We'll never find him now.Copy !req
62. Well, that might help.Copy !req
63. Right. Follow me!Copy !req
64. The web's nearly complete!
When it is, Earth'll be squished!Copy !req
65. Just our base left. You have set
the safety shield haven't you?Copy !req
66. Of course. Soon we'll be relaxing
on the Pleasure Moons of Pagros.Copy !req
67. This time tomorrow we'll own
the Pleasure Moons of Pagros.Copy !req
68. Switch it off, boys!Copy !req
69. Sarah Jane Smith. How predictable.Copy !req
70. I prefer... reliable.Copy !req
71. Now, I won't ask you again,Copy !req
72. switch it off!Copy !req
73. No chance!Copy !req
74. Good try, Miss Smith, but not good
enough. It's sonic wave resistant.Copy !req
75. What does that thing actually do?Copy !req
76. Why steal the matter compressor?Copy !req
77. This planet's
stuffed full of carbon.Copy !req
78. And thanks to your compressor,
we can crush it.Copy !req
79. And if carbon's crushed enough
it turns into a diamond.Copy !req
80. A gigantic diamond, worth a fortune.Copy !req
81. K9! Now!Copy !req
82. Maximum destruction mode.Copy !req
83. It's still going! Grab the girl!Copy !req
84. Get your claws off me! Let her go!Copy !req
85. Try that again and you'll be sorry!Copy !req
86. Rani, don't move! K9, hold fire!
Disable the dog, or she gets it!Copy !req
87. I'm sorry, K9. Power down.
Unit deactivating.Copy !req
88. Isn't there something we can do.Copy !req
89. WHOOSH!Copy !req
90. Who are they?
Stand back, Miss Smith!Copy !req
91. Compression halted.Copy !req
92. Now release the child! By order of
the High Council of Raxas Prime,Copy !req
93. you are charged with
crimes against the state.Copy !req
94. Fraud, theft, high treason.Copy !req
95. The penalty for each is death.Copy !req
96. It's him you want! He made me do it!Copy !req
97. Please! No! I'm innocent!Copy !req
98. WHOOSH!Copy !req
99. What have you done with them?
We've teleported them to our ship.Copy !req
100. They will stand trial
on our home planet.Copy !req
101. I guess, we owe you our lives.
Thank you. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
102. I was nearly Slitheen lunch.Copy !req
103. But who are you?Copy !req
104. We are Blathereen.Copy !req
105. Blathereen? Never heard of you.Copy !req
106. The Slitheen aren't the only family
on Raxacoricofallapatorius.Copy !req
107. But they are the only criminal one.Copy !req
108. We Blathereen respect the law.Copy !req
109. Why should we believe you?
As you can see,Copy !req
110. we do not disguise ourselves
in human skin, like Slitheen.Copy !req
111. We could never kill a human.Copy !req
112. Not all visitors to your planet
intend harm, Miss Smith.Copy !req
113. Some come out of anthropological
interest, some are asylum-seekers.Copy !req
114. And some actually want to help.
Why are YOU here?Copy !req
115. We've dedicated our lives
to tracking down Slitheen,Copy !req
116. bringing them to justice.
You mean you're bounty hunters.Copy !req
117. It isn't something we do
for profit, it is our duty.Copy !req
118. To be honest, we're pretty good
at handling Slitheen by ourselves.Copy !req
119. We do not doubt it. Your work
has great regard back home.Copy !req
120. Interstellar fame, eh, Sarah Jane?Copy !req
121. And it is the Blathereen custom to
offer thanks for such brave deedsCopy !req
122. by sitting down to dinner.Copy !req
123. And what's on the menu?
Clyde burgers with a side of Rani?Copy !req
124. It's wrong to have come this far
without showing our appreciation.Copy !req
125. No, that might be a bit tricky..
Why? I think it's a brilliant idea.Copy !req
126. A dinner party.
They can't exactly come to my place.Copy !req
127. Mr Smith's there, and
loads of alien stuff.Copy !req
128. Then they can come to mine.
Your mum and dad'll love that.Copy !req
129. They're at a conference, remember?Copy !req
130. That's why I'm staying
with Sarah Jane.Copy !req
131. Does nothing sink in with you?
Come on it's an amazing opportunity.Copy !req
132. Clyde'll cook.
He's a secret Jamie Oliver.Copy !req
133. I can't deny it. I suppose so,
after all, they did save our lives.Copy !req
134. Miss Smith? What do you say?Copy !req
135. Yes, dinner would be lovely.Copy !req
136. You're very welcome, Mrs...Copy !req
137. Please...Copy !req
138. my name's Leef Apple Glyn.Copy !req
139. Leef for short.Copy !req
140. This is my husband, Tree Lorn Acre.Copy !req
141. I call him Tree. Sarah Jane.Copy !req
142. And this is Clyde, Rani,
and my son, Luke.Copy !req
143. Pleased to meet you all.Copy !req
144. Let us have your teleport coordinates
and we'll join you in an hour.Copy !req
145. We must freshen up first.Copy !req
146. I'm still not sure
we can trust them.Copy !req
147. Yeah, when have the
Slitheen ever helped us?Copy !req
148. They're not Slitheen.
They're not the same colour.Copy !req
149. Colour doesn't matter,
they're from the same planet.Copy !req
150. We have to keep our guard up,
until we're certain.Copy !req
151. Look at me, head chef to the enemy.
I didn't know you could cook.Copy !req
152. Well, I'm a man of many talents.Copy !req
153. And it's only shepherd's pie.Copy !req
154. Mum taught me.Copy !req
155. I hope they don't have any
strange dietary requirements.Copy !req
156. Though it's hard to
go wrong with soup.Copy !req
157. WHOOSH!Copy !req
158. Good evening, Sarah Jane.Copy !req
159. Sorry it's such a squeeze.Copy !req
160. And this delightful liquid is?Copy !req
161. It was tomato soup.Copy !req
162. Though you probably prefer something
more meaty. Shut up, Clyde.Copy !req
163. Delicious.Copy !req
164. We must take some home, for next
time the Rackateen come to dinner.Copy !req
165. They adore foreign food.Copy !req
166. So, tell us about your home planet.Copy !req
167. Raxacoricofallapatorius was
once the most admired planetCopy !req
168. in the Raxas Alliance. Clom,
Plix and RaxacoricovarlonpatoriusCopy !req
169. all took their lead from us.Copy !req
170. And the Blathereen were one
of the most respected families.Copy !req
171. Until the Slitheen
bribed their way into power.Copy !req
172. They ruined our planet's
good name.Copy !req
173. Well, that must have been
terrible for you.Copy !req
174. What happened to the Slitheen?Copy !req
175. The economy crashed,
then the rest of the populationCopy !req
176. rose up against them,
and they were deposed.Copy !req
177. Some faced justice,Copy !req
178. others fled to the farthest
corners of the galaxy.Copy !req
179. It was our duty to hunt them down.Copy !req
180. We're deeply sorry for
the trouble they've caused here.Copy !req
181. And as this seems
an appropriate moment...Copy !req
182. Tree?Copy !req
183. This is not just a gift
for your hospitalityCopy !req
184. but compensation for the
Slitheen's behaviour on Earth.Copy !req
185. This is Rakweed.Copy !req
186. Careful!
It's just a present, Clyde.Copy !req
187. His concern is understandable.Copy !req
188. Though this is something
that will truly delight you.Copy !req
189. It's lovely, thank you.Copy !req
190. It's a staple food back home.Copy !req
191. It can grow anywhere,Copy !req
192. even in the harshest conditions.Copy !req
193. Nutritious and delicious.Copy !req
194. But this isn't just a gift for you.Copy !req
195. We want you to share it
with your entire world.Copy !req
196. We know you suffer
from famines on Earth.Copy !req
197. Rakweed could put
an end to them forever.Copy !req
198. Of course, if it came directly
from outsiders such as ourselves,Copy !req
199. your people would be distrustful.Copy !req
200. That is why we want you,
Sarah Jane, to be our...Copy !req
201. our ambassador.
Imagine the fame and the glory.Copy !req
202. I'm not bothered about fame.Copy !req
203. We do what we do to help the world.Copy !req
204. This little plant could save
millions of lives.Copy !req
205. PING!Copy !req
206. Oh, main course. Excuse me.Copy !req
207. Can you just give me a hand?Copy !req
208. Is this all too good to be true,
or have I become totally paranoid?Copy !req
209. You taught us
to keep an open mind.Copy !req
210. Well, I've had bad experiences,
with aliens bearing gifts.Copy !req
211. Mr Smith will know if it's dangerous.Copy !req
212. You can't pass up a chance to feed
the entire human race, can you?Copy !req
213. Do you really think
we can trust the Blathareen?Copy !req
214. I think so.Copy !req
215. Plus, if they wanted us dead
they'd have done it by now.Copy !req
216. Not necessarily.
Oh, I just don't know.Copy !req
217. Go with your instincts.
They're always right.Copy !req
218. In this case my instincts
are all over the place.Copy !req
219. Ta-daaa! Shepherd's pie.Copy !req
220. I made that.
Shepherds are a delicacy on Earth?Copy !req
221. Yeah, but you couldn't
eat a whole one.Copy !req
222. It's just the name of the dish.Copy !req
223. SLURP!Copy !req
224. BURP!
PARP!Copy !req
225. Mmmm. More delicious
than the land prawns of Clom.Copy !req
226. Might apply
for MasterChef after all.Copy !req
227. So, Sarah Jane,Copy !req
228. will you be our ambassador?Copy !req
229. It's our chance to finally
put things right.Copy !req
230. And it could mean a new friendship
between our races.Copy !req
231. You realise I'll have to
analyse the Rakweed,Copy !req
232. make sure it's safe.Copy !req
233. Of course. Do that straight away.Copy !req
234. But thank you.Copy !req
235. In principle, I...Copy !req
236. we...Copy !req
237. Earth accepts.Copy !req
238. It's been a most
wonderful evening.Copy !req
239. But it's a long journey back
to Raxacoricofallapatorius.Copy !req
240. Amazing to meet you both.Copy !req
241. I'll never forget you,
or what you've given us.Copy !req
242. Will you accept the claw
of friendship, Sarah Jane?Copy !req
243. We're sure our Rakweed
will change your planet forever.Copy !req
244. And how perfect that Sarah Jane Smith
will be the one to lead EarthCopy !req
245. into a rich and fertile future.Copy !req
246. Thank you, have a safe journey.Copy !req
247. Bye.Copy !req
248. Dinner with aliens, oh,
and a plant that can save the world.Copy !req
249. The most exciting day ever.Copy !req
250. Mr Smith, I need you.Copy !req
251. 'How may I assist you, Sarah Jane?'Copy !req
252. I need you to analyse something.Copy !req
253. Such an amazing opportunity.Copy !req
254. Yeah, or it could all be a trap.Copy !req
255. They're Blathereen not Slitheen.Copy !req
256. Ah, Slitheen, Blathereen,
Whatevereen.Copy !req
257. They're from Raxacorico-doo-dar.
It has a seriously dodgy reputation.Copy !req
258. You can't condemn an entire race
just cos a few of them are bad.Copy !req
259. There are bad people on Earth, too.
Rani's right.Copy !req
260. We're here to help aliens, not just
fight them. Exactly. Sarah Jane?Copy !req
261. This is huge. If I make this public,
it'll change everything.Copy !req
262. No more hiding in the shadows,
saving the world in secret.Copy !req
263. I'll be front page news.Copy !req
264. Sarah Jane Smith,
Ambassador for Earth, eh?Copy !req
265. 'Analysis complete.Copy !req
266. 'Although the Rakweed has
a more complex cell structureCopy !req
267. 'than Earth flora, there is,
as far as I can tell, no threat.'Copy !req
268. It's harmless then?Copy !req
269. See, nothing to worry about.Copy !req
270. Yeah, but I still don't like it.Copy !req
271. Anyway, time you lot were in bed.
School tomorrow.Copy !req
272. And you've all got a test.
Am I right?Copy !req
273. A test? I'm sorry,
did someone say 'test'?Copy !req
274. Don't really understand that word.Copy !req
275. K9: Test. Assessment of knowledge.Copy !req
276. Method through which
one human demonstratesCopy !req
277. intellectual superiority
over others.Copy !req
278. He knows what it means, K9.Copy !req
279. Just not how to pass it.Copy !req
280. Luke, Rani, bed.
I've put a towel in your room.Copy !req
281. Clyde, home.Copy !req
282. Ah, I won't be a sec.Copy !req
283. I just need to borrow a bookCopy !req
284. for revision.Copy !req
285. How much do you know
about GCSE biology?Copy !req
286. General Certificate for
Secondary Education syllabusCopy !req
287. in biological science
includes seven key areas...Copy !req
288. Yeah, I know all that.
But I need your help.Copy !req
289. Can you come to school
with me tomorrow?Copy !req
290. Negative. Directional commands
may only be issued by the Mistress.Copy !req
291. Well, you leave me with no choice.Copy !req
292. Sorry, boy.
This unit may not be removed.Copy !req
293. 'Excuse me, Clyde...'Copy !req
294. Please don't tell Sarah Jane.
I'll bring him back.Copy !req
295. 'I was going to thank you. A break
from the dog is most appreciated.'Copy !req
296. Bit annoying, is he?
'I couldn't possibly comment.'Copy !req
297. I'll see myself out!Copy !req
298. Tie.Copy !req
299. Tie...Copy !req
300. Tie... tie?Copy !req
301. Luke! Rani! Toast's getting cold.Copy !req
302. Hurry up or you'll be late.Copy !req
303. What's the matter?Copy !req
304. I feel strange.Copy !req
305. In what way?Copy !req
306. I dunno. It's probably nothing.Copy !req
307. It's not nothing if
you're feeling ill.Copy !req
308. The Bane gave you perfect health.Copy !req
309. Is this what being ill is like?Copy !req
310. How do you feel exactly?Copy !req
311. Everything's gone blurry.Copy !req
312. My chest is aching, my head hurts.Copy !req
313. Come on, slowcoach.Copy !req
314. What's up?Copy !req
315. Well, Luke's not feeling very well.Copy !req
316. But you get off to school.Copy !req
317. Shouldn't we call a doctor?
Rani, school, please.Copy !req
318. You should stay home this morning.Copy !req
319. I don't want
to miss the biology test.Copy !req
320. The test can wait.
I'll call the school, let them know.Copy !req
321. Rani? Sorry I snapped.Copy !req
322. But if Luke's ill, what do I do?Copy !req
323. How do I explain him
and what he is, to a doctor?Copy !req
324. No, he'll probably be fine,
it's just never happened before.Copy !req
325. I can stay home if you like. Your dad
wouldn't want you skipping school,Copy !req
326. especially when there's a test.
It was worth a try. See you later.Copy !req
327. Yeah. Oh, hello,
this is Luke Smith's mother.Copy !req
328. I'm afraid Luke won't be at school
today, he's not feeling very well.Copy !req
329. What you been doing in there?Copy !req
330. I got in early to do some revision.
You are such a bad liar, Clyde.Copy !req
331. It's the truth, honest.Copy !req
332. I know when you're up to something,
and you are so up to something.Copy !req
333. How are you feeling?Copy !req
334. Not great. Worse?Copy !req
335. Right. Let's be methodical about
this, go back to the beginning.Copy !req
336. What were you doing when it started?Copy !req
337. I was in the attic.Copy !req
338. The attic.Copy !req
339. 'Analysis complete.Copy !req
340. 'The Rakweed is NOT harmless.'Copy !req
341. I knew it! Blathereen!Copy !req
342. 'Adaptation to its cell structure
suggests a more deadly life-form.'Copy !req
343. Couldn't you have seen this coming?Copy !req
344. 'I'm sorry, but the plant appears to
have mutated since my last report.'Copy !req
345. I can see that. There's a great
big flower sticking out of it now!Copy !req
346. 'It was probably in a state
of deep hibernation.Copy !req
347. 'Something must have
triggered its development cycle.'Copy !req
348. What's going on?
You should be in bed.Copy !req
349. 'According to my analysis, Rakweed
seeks out life forms that it deemsCopy !req
350. 'a threat to its propagation
and drains them of energy.Copy !req
351. 'It will send its victims
into a deep, deep comaCopy !req
352. 'from which they will never return.'Copy !req
353. That's so weird about Lukey-boy.
He's never got sick before.Copy !req
354. Hope it's nothing serious.
Sarah Jane was really worried.Copy !req
355. How's the pot plant?
Savaged anyone in the night?Copy !req
356. That's not funny, Clyde.
This Rakweed stuff might be amazing.Copy !req
357. It could feed millions of people.Copy !req
358. Yeah, yeah, but it'll probably
still taste like salad,Copy !req
359. like the world needs more salad.Copy !req
360. Do you know what cynical means?
It's what I call being realistic.Copy !req
361. Where are you going? Sit here.Copy !req
362. Yeah, well
I normally sit over here so...Copy !req
363. You're acting really weird.
What are you up to?Copy !req
364. Good morning, Mistress Rani.
K9?Copy !req
365. 'Emergency analysis continuing.'Copy !req
366. Luke, you're all I've really got.Copy !req
367. Everything else, it's meaningless,
makes no sense without you.Copy !req
368. 'I'm sorry to have to tell you,
but my sensors indicateCopy !req
369. 'that the Rakweed is not
confined merely to this house.'Copy !req
370. How?
'It has already reproduced itself.Copy !req
371. 'Most likely by releasing spores.'
Like a fungus?Copy !req
372. They must have got out through
the window. We've got to stop this!Copy !req
373. Mum, I'm so tired.Copy !req
374. Luke, please...Copy !req
375. Luke, can you hear me?Copy !req
376. I'm OK.Copy !req
377. What's this? 'He has been subjected
to an incredibly high doseCopy !req
378. 'of Rakweed spores.'Copy !req
379. Luke, Luke, you must stay awake.Copy !req
380. Sarah Jane will hit the roof!Copy !req
381. Sarah Jane isn't gonna find out.Copy !req
382. What if someone hears him?
He makes a right racket.Copy !req
383. Ah, I borrowed this too. Relays
his voice straight into my ear.Copy !req
384. Using K9 to pass a test,
even by your standardsCopy !req
385. this is a new level of stupid.Copy !req
386. We may not be allowed textbooks,
but no-one said anything aboutCopy !req
387. a super-intelligent robot dog
from the year 5000. You're insane.Copy !req
388. Yep, an insane genius.Copy !req
389. I hope you two are paying attention.
Course, Miss, raring to go.Copy !req
390. This is all my fault.Copy !req
391. Mum! Look!Copy !req
392. Mr Smith! I need you!Copy !req
393. Mr Smith! Please! Help us!Copy !req
394. 'At its current rate of propagation,Copy !req
395. 'the Rakweed will have seeded the
whole of London within a few hours.'Copy !req
396. Is that... Rakweed?Copy !req
397. Ah! We've got to stop this, come on.Copy !req
398. The Rakweed - it got you
didn't it, are you OK?Copy !req
399. I'm Blathareened.Copy !req
400. 'Luke?'Copy !req
401. So how far has this spread,
just the school grounds? Or further?Copy !req
402. It's everywhere.Copy !req
403. Let the hunt begin!Copy !req