The Righteous Gemstones 2x3

1. What part of "leave him the hell alone"

2. did you not understand?

3. Somebody had to do something.

4. I'm sorry, Daddy. I was weak.

5. I let Jesse and Judy peer-pressure me.

6. Peer-pressure you?

7. We did it all together as the new generation.

8. What?

9. Uh, as the new generation of Christian thought leaders,

10. our time.

11. Jesus.

12. Fuck.

13. Have you told anyone else about this?

14. Does anybody else know you were here?

15. No, Daddy, just you.

16. Don't tell anybody else.

17. Do you understand?

18. This stays with us.

19. Ah, ah.

20. You and the men are doing excellent work.

21. Be it his will, the harvest will be bountiful.

22. Praise be to he.

23. We've been working really hard.

24. Everybody's in really high spirits.

25. Way to keep the faith, my friend.

26. Make sure the men finish their chores.

27. And, uh, I'll meet you in the steam showers,

28. but bring Titus and Odd Chris.

29. I could smell them during worship.

30. The fuck is this? A refugee camp?

31. I'm expanding my repertoire.

32. I told y'all I'm not gonna be a youth minister

33. my whole dang life.

34. So what, you're collecting muscle mens?

35. No. All members of the Kelvin Gemstone God Squad

36. are here voluntarily.

37. We lift, we pray, and we are mindful of our diets—

38. clean living, being ripped,

39. and getting high on Christ.

40. Okay, well, whatever this bullshit is,

41. I don't got time for it, okay?

42. Our daddy killed that reporter.

43. Mm-mm. You got a sick mind, Jesse.

44. Thank you, Kelvin.

45. That's exactly what I been sayin' to him.

46. You guys were there. You saw him—

47. coming in all late, acting all suspicious,

48. blood on his damn trousers.

49. It's obvious.

50. If our daddy had anything to do with it,

51. why would he take us back to the scene of the crime?

52. Yeah, Jesse, that don't make no fucking sense.

53. Okay. If Daddy's as squeaky clean as you two think he is,

54. then why was that reporter here in the first place?

55. He hates Christians?

56. And I guess it's just a big coincidence

57. that Daddy's shady-ass friend from Memphis

58. just breezes into town right before this happens?

59. Y'all heard dude at church lunch,

60. talking about "handling it," "taking care of business."

61. They fucking whacked him.

62. - Oh. - Okay.

63. Oh, you goin' too far now, Jesse.

64. Call our daddy a killer one more time,

65. and see if I don't beat that ass.

66. Oh, you wish.

67. Man, you ain't as tough as you think you are.

68. - You know what? - Oh, come on.

69. You know what? I'ma join Kelvin's anger,

70. and I'ma join him at beating yo' ass.

71. Come on, you want some of this, boy?

72. Yeah, you want some of it?

73. Stop talking shit on Daddy, boy.

74. Don't talk shit on Daddy, boy.

75. All right, whatever.

76. Y'all are lying to yourselves.

77. You don't know Daddy as well as you think you do.

78. That man is cold as ice.

79. Recognize.

80. Judy, you need a ride?

81. Yeah, I'll take one.

82. Get one.

83. Who cares, Jesse?

84. I'ma ride up on one of these boys home.

85. I'll just drive you home.

86. The news media and the world mourns the passing

87. of Peabody Award winning journalist Thaniel Block

88. in what some are calling a suspicious fire.

89. Do I think it was an accident?

90. No.

91. He was investigating

92. some very powerful people, and he died.

93. Dr. Gemstone, there's a gentleman

94. here at the gate wishing to see you,

95. a Glendon Marsh, Jr.

96. Says he was your guest here the other night,

97. but I don't see him registered on the guest list.

98. Would you like me to let him in?

99. Yes, sir.

100. Sorry, sir. Dr. Gemstone is a busy man.

101. I couldn't get ahold of him.

102. I just heard you talkin' to him.

103. Yea—

104. that was his housekeeper.

105. Have a blessed day.

106. Well...

107. how 'bout that?

108. Now, you gon' treat a old man like a asshole.

109. You're lucky I don't get outta this car

110. and knock those fuckin' teeth outta your mouth.

111. Like I said, sir,

112. have a blessed day.

113. See the mighty power of our Lord and savior

114. flowing through the Kelvin Gemstone God Squad!

115. Florida Cody, everybody!

116. Liam!

117. Titus!

118. Now let's give it up for the best,

119. strongest behemoth on my squad,

120. Torsten!

121. He is a devout Christian,

122. captain of the football team,

123. and he even dated the prom queen.

124. But that female put Torsten in quite the predicament.

125. his celibacy or his soul.

126. Well, I think you know his answer.

127. If that's not virgin power,

128. I don't know what is.

129. If these Christian men can achieve

130. such amazing feats of strength individually,

131. just imagine what we can all accomplish together.

132. Ah—dude, please don't stand on my neck.

133. It's too much weight.

134. Nowhere else to step. I mis—

135. I miscalculated, okay?

136. Just deal with it. The kids are loving it.

137. Ah! There's my tendon. Get down the leg.

138. Get down the leg, come on. - Be cool, Titus.

139. I can't, I can't, I can't!

140. - Ow! - Oh, no.

141. Are you okay?

142. - Did it look cool? - So cool.

143. Ow, my hips.

144. My hipbone. - Oh, no.

145. Ah! Ah! - Okay.

146. Oh... we need a medic.

147. - Medic! - Medic!

148. Someone get a fucking medic!

149. Thank you, Lord, for bringing us all here together

150. to enjoy this delicious food from Fancy Nancy's.

151. May it give us sustenance and strength.

152. In your name, amen.

153. Amen. - Mm.

154. The Lissons just sent over some materials for the hotel.

155. I think they're getting a little antsy.

156. Any ideas on new investors?

157. Really, Amber?

158. I mean, do you think we are in any state

159. to attract investors right now?

160. I mean, in case you missed it, a reporter died in a fire,

161. and people are trying to blame the Gemstones.

162. Nobody's trying to blame the Gemstones.

163. - Twitter is. - See?

164. This is exactly the problem with lame-stream media.

165. Believe half of what you see and just a little bit

166. of what you hear, and monkey see, monkey do,

167. monkey pee all over you.

168. I don't know.

169. After he came out with the story about the Butterfields?

170. Bet Grandaddy killed him.

171. Pontius.

172. Why would you say that? - It's what I would do.

173. No, that is disrespectful talk,

174. and I will not have that at this table.

175. Yeah, Pontch, you know Granddad ain't like that.

176. - Thank you. - If he was gonna do it,

177. he'd just hire someone.

178. He's too smart. - Exactly.

179. Wait, what?

180. I bet he'd pay cartel guys

181. or, like, an assassin to burn him alive.

182. Granddaddy burned someone?

183. No, baby. Abraham, no, no, no.

184. Jesse, are you gonna say something or...

185. Mm. Yeah.

186. Knock it off.

187. You're gonna scare your brother.

188. Your granddad didn't burn anybody alive.

189. If he did it,

190. he put a bullet in that reporter's head,

191. then he burned up the cabin to cover up his tracks.

192. A bullet in the head, huh?

193. Nah, I like burning alive better.

194. A lot of people like the bullet in the head better,

195. 'cause that's more realistic and what's probably happened

196. if somebody was there to witness it and to

197. be able to confirm the kill method.

198. Everybody, just eat your Fancy Nancy's, okay?

199. Granddaddy is not a murderer.

200. New subject.

201. Tobias, bring it around!

202. - Hey, can you get me a spot? - Nah, go take a break.

203. I drew you a piping hot mustard seed

204. and Epsom salt bath.

205. I heard from the hospital.

206. Liam's gonna be okay,

207. but seven of his ribs were broken

208. and one punctured something.

209. The men stacked wrong.

210. They are soft on fundamentals.

211. What's going on?

212. What are they saying?

213. Titus was rubbing his neck on the drive home

214. and showed some of the guys

215. where your shoe made a mark on it,

216. but that's it.

217. Well...

218. I guess someone's been slippin' on leg day, huh?

219. Mm-hmm.

220. Something might have to be done about Titus.

221. I agree completely—

222. 100%.

223. But I'm afraid to say that some of the others

224. have been questioning their place here as well.

225. That's the downside of assembling

226. an entire group of alpha males.

227. As they grow stronger, they grow more defiant.

228. Some have been slacking on their Bible study too.

229. Son of a B.

230. I do not have time for this drama right now.

231. Brother,

232. what's troubling you?

233. Your mind seems dark and black.

234. If I tell you,

235. you can tell no one.

236. I promise to keep your secret,

237. and if I don't, you can cut my tongue out with rusted shears

238. and bury it deep.

239. Deal.

240. Jesse, Judy, and I...

241. we stumbled across a dead body.

242. Multiple dead bodies, actually.

243. One of which was that reporter.

244. Did you kill him?

245. No.

246. We were there to talk,

247. protect our family name.

248. I know you don't know my daddy all that well,

249. but...

250. you don't think he's the type of person

251. to murder someone, do you?

252. It's hard to say.

253. Human beings are capable of horrific things...

254. Depending on the circumstances.

255. Are we in trouble, friend?

256. I guess it depends on who did it.

257. Hey, Daddy.

258. You wanted to see me?

259. Everything okay?

260. No, Kelvin, everything's not okay.

261. What in God's name happened at your muscleman youth show?

262. Oh.

263. Oh, you—I mean, you probably are thinking

264. of the unfortunate injury Liam suffered

265. during the massive muscle pyramid stunt.

266. That's the one.

267. Okay. First of all, Daddy,

268. you do not need to worry about it.

269. Okay? He will heal,

270. and I will take care of it.

271. Oh, good, so you'll take care of the lawsuit too.

272. Abso—

273. lawsuit?

274. The injured muscle boy is suin' the church.

275. I got the letter today.

276. If I ain't got enough going on around here

277. with this reporter's death,

278. now I have to clean up your mess,

279. pay for your stupid mistakes.

280. You're the youngest, but that doesn't mean

281. you have to act like a damn child!

282. Take some responsibility for once in your life!

283. Grow up!

284. Or is that too much to ask?

285. Damn it!

286. Dr. Gemstone, it's time for your meetin' with the deacons.

287. Coming.

288. I'm trying to be patient, Kelvin.

289. I'm trying to understand you, son.

290. I really am, but you're a big boy now.

291. Time to put on your big boy pants,

292. stop wasting your time playing with your muscular boys.

293. They're muscle men, Daddy!

294. So I was just kind of moving stuff around,

295. settling in, and I— I found some boxes

296. of Granddad's old stuff in the closet.

297. Come take a look.

298. Oh.

299. Look how young he was.

300. Back when he had all his faculties.

301. Pretty cool. - It is cool.

302. Uh, but there's—there's more.

303. Some stuff that's not so cool too.

304. I mean, maybe Pontius was right.

305. "Glendon Marsh orders killing of Memphis police officers."

306. Glendon is Junior's pop.

307. Daddy used to wrassle for Glendon.

308. Says there in that article that he would use the wrestlers

309. as enforcers for his gang.

310. My suspicions were spot-on.

311. Daddy brought Junior here because he wanted him

312. to ice that reporter.

313. Okay, look, I know when Daddy was a boy,

314. he used to run around, get in trouble—

315. Then he met Mama and turned his life around.

316. Blah, blah, blah.

317. That's the Lifetime Movie of the Week version,

318. the bought and sold, made for the masses.

319. What I'm trying to get to is that Ken Burns documentary.

320. What's the real with Daddy?

321. How nasty was he?

322. I'm sorry. I couldn't help but overhear.

323. Judy, I didn't want to worry you,

324. but I saw something very strange with your daddy today.

325. What, BJ?

326. I was out rollerblading...

327. You rollerblade?

328. It's an exercise I do to keep swole.

329. I was crushing some heel-toes,

330. fishtails, slaloms, hockey turns...

331. When I noticed Dr. Gemstone.

332. I yelled out, "Hi, Daddy,"

333. "Hey, Dr. Gemstone,"

334. but no response.

335. He got on this ride called The Exodus.

336. From the shadows, I watched him.

337. He rode it...

338. All by himself...

339. Over and over...

340. and over and over.

341. The Exodus. That's a big clue.

342. - Yeah, I'm not seein' it. - Daddy always hated

343. that rollercoaster, Jesse— always.

344. He never would ride it with me

345. 'cause he said it gave him bubble guts,

346. and now he's ridin' it alone like a psychopath?

347. And why is that, you think,

348. 'cause he's trying to kill somebody?

349. Sure, that's classic psycho behavior.

350. Daddy's on this over and over again by himself

351. to whip himself up into a murder frenzy.

352. - Murder frenzy? - Yeah.

353. Like when people are getting all high and horny

354. on a rollercoaster, just like, ahh!

355. That didn't happen.

356. Everything you just said is a guess, all right?

357. This rollercoaster ain't part of the case.

358. This ain't shit.

359. It's part of my case, 'cause BJ saw it.

360. Found you.

361. What're you all doing?

362. Being secretive behind people's backs?

363. Ain't nobody being secretive.

364. We're just solving this case in real time.

365. We ain't trying to give people fucking updates.

366. Daddy's friend Junior— dude's in the mafia.

367. Or some redneck version of it.

368. Why do you even care? Why are you here?

369. All you're gonna do is just argue

370. and act like you the damn expert on Daddy,

371. when you ain't.

372. Okay. Fine.

373. I guess I'll just leave, but I'll be taking this.

374. - The fuck is that? - It's Daddy's phone, dummy.

375. Cellular devices, it's what the police use

376. to catch terrorists and pedos these days.

377. It's got everything. Locations, biometrics.

378. GPS metadata.

379. Digital secrets.

380. There's digital secrets on there?

381. What's on there, Kelvin?

382. Digital secrets, Judy. I just said that.

383. It's got all kinds of juicy stuff in here probably.

384. But it is password protected.

385. What, you don't know his passcode?

386. I do. It's easy.

387. It's his birthday.

388. He uses it for everything.

389. Cool, plug it in. Put it in, Kelvin.

390. - Put it—just— - Yeah, plug it.

391. Plug in his birthday, yeah.

392. Plug it in. Put it in—put in his birthday.

393. - Daddy's birthday. - Plug it.

394. Ah... yeah, I'm havin'--

395. I'm having a little brain toot right now.

396. W-what—what is his birthday exactly?

397. The exact date? - Jesse, tell Kelvin,

398. um, Daddy's birthday.

399. What is it, June, July? Wh—I don't know.

400. No, man, it's winter.

401. 'Cause remember, Daddy's got one of those birthdays

402. where you get screwed 'cause it's so close to Christmas.

403. Uh, no, dummy, that's me.

404. - Oh. - Hold on.

405. Let me Google this shit. Let me see.

406. Yeah. Good idea, plug that.

407. Whoo, we were way off. September.

408. 0-9-0-6,

409. fiddy-two.

410. 0-9-0-6—

411. Ugh, dang it.

412. What's the problem?

413. That was last week.

414. We forgot Daddy's birthday.

415. Oh, dang.

416. Oh, well.

417. Okay, it worked. We're in.

418. All right, uh, first text chain.

419. Between Martin and Daddy. - Here we go.

420. Night of the murder, 9:25 p.m.

421. - Mm-hmm. - "Went out with Junior.

422. "Things went sideways.

423. "Need your help here.

424. Now. Total shit show."

425. 12:02 a.m., Daddy writes,

426. "Hate to have put you in that predicament,

427. "old friend.

428. "Thanks for cleaning up my mess.

429. Goes without saying, but this stays between us."

430. Martin replies with a...

431. thumbs up emoji.

432. Fuck. Thumbs up emoji?

433. O—okay, uh...

434. Daddy and Junior, day after the murder, 3:02 p.m.

435. "Last night reminded me of old times.

436. I set 'em up, you knock 'em down."

437. Oh, my God.

438. That's Dixie mafia. Those are the old times.

439. And "knock 'em down" means kill.

440. And "kill" means murder.

441. And murder causes death.

442. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.

443. - Hear you wanted to see me. - Hey, Daddy.

444. Hey, uh,

445. we—we have to talk to you about something tough.

446. And you can be honest with us.

447. Our allegiance is with you, not man's laws.

448. What's this all about?

449. We know that...

450. you had that reporter...

451. Eliminated.

452. And we just want you to know, Daddy, that we discussed it,

453. and we think what you did was right.

454. We are team Eli.

455. You hired Junior to smoke him,

456. and we think that's dope, not scary.

457. I'm glad you did him. - Did him?

458. Killed, sweet Daddy.

459. Now, come on. Stop acting old and feeble,

460. and just tell the truth, okay?

461. We know about Junior's daddy Glendon.

462. He was a criminal.

463. Junior was one too.

464. You didn't want Thaniel finding out about your criminal past,

465. so you had Junior pop him.

466. That's what you kids think of me?

467. Daddy, come on.

468. You get home all late at night, outta breath,

469. sending text messages about stuff.

470. Riding rollercoasters.

471. I didn't do it,

472. but I am worried that maybe Junior did.

473. He comes from a bad way, doesn't know any better.

474. That's how his kinda people take care of things.

475. Okay, and you had nothin' to do with it?

476. Blood all on your hands and khakis.

477. How the hell'd that get there then?

478. I was hoping to not have to discuss this.

479. I didn't have anything to do with that man's death.

480. But... you were there?

481. Junior invited me out bowling

482. with a couple of hairdresser friends he met

483. while he was in town.

484. Just some good old harmless fun.

485. All of a sudden, Junior says he has to go,

486. he has to do something important.

487. Would I mind getting his friend home?

488. Junior's other friend was kind enough

489. to invite me in for a nightcap.

490. Again, totally harmless.

491. Ooh.

492. Until she asked me if I wanted to go in her hot tub.

493. I like to go in the buff.

494. Oh, this is beyond embarrassing,

495. but I had recently read this article about this thing,

496. manscaping, so I decided to give it a try.

497. Suppose my hands aren't as steady as they once were.

498. Ah! Ah!

499. And you cut off your sagging ball bag?

500. - Not off. - Okay.

501. No—wh—wh—hey, whoa, whoa.

502. Wh-wh—what are we talking about here?

503. Wait a minute. So you were trimming

504. you pubic hairs, and you sliced your testicles?

505. That's how you got blood on your khakis?

506. I felt like a fool.

507. And then I really started bleeding out,

508. so I called Martin. - That's why Martin lied.

509. Didn't want us to know you were trimmin' your pubic hair.

510. - Yes, I guess so. - What the actual fuck, Daddy?

511. You're dating? - No.

512. I mean, I don't know.

513. Nothing serious. Just casual.

514. Casually dating women?

515. - Yes, Judy. - Not Mama?

516. No, Jesse, not Mama.

517. So you're two-timing Mama?

518. Shavin' your nuts for some other bitch.

519. Jesus Christ, Daddy.

520. Why couldn't have you just killed somebody?

521. Disgusting.

522. The world is full of people who will fail you,

523. let you down,

524. betray you.

525. In tonight's reading, we shall discuss how even Jesus Christ

526. overcame obstacles.

527. Titus, come on, now. Join the men.

528. Ass meets mat, crisscross applesauce.

529. Let's do this. - Can't.

530. My hammy cramps when I sit like that.

531. That's fine. Just...

532. take a knee.

533. You know, get on your— get on your knees.

534. Nah. I'ma keep riding.

535. Too cool for school, huh, Titus?

536. Not too cool. Just here to get ripped, bro,

537. not sit around for story times like a fucking toddler.

538. No!

539. Too far, Titus!

540. Okay, that's it. That is it!

541. Keefe, summon the men to the firepit.

542. Have them dress in their formal evening athletic attire.

543. Too far, Titus.

544. Titus of Tampa Bay.

545. You challenged me twice this week, didn't ya?

546. Come on, brother Kelvin, I was just trying to voice—

547. I'm the one with the voice! Okay?

548. I am the leader. I am the alpha, not you.

549. Here, we say, "Strength above all else."

550. That is our motto.

551. So if you feel you are strong enough to lead us,

552. prove it, Titus.

553. Bear the cross!

554. Seems simple enough, doesn't it?

555. Big, strong man like you carrying this cross

556. 30 little steps, 20 feet probably.

557. Jesus Christ carried his cross 2,000 feet.

558. Could Jesus Christ bench press 455 pounds?

559. What say you, Titus?

560. Have you the power you think you have?

561. When I'm done manhandlin' this cross,

562. I'm takin' an inside-the-house bed.

563. That's right! This is all me.

564. My hammy.

565. My ha—my hamstring.

566. Ah!

567. I had it. I had it.

568. Ah!

569. Well, men,

570. it appears as though my judgement

571. to challenge the fallen...

572. Was just.

573. Titus, you must learn to respect my authority.

574. And people who like to think I am still a child

575. need to understand I am not.

576. I'm full-grown.

577. I'm a man.

578. Torsten, Sky,

579. please secure this traitor in the containment unit.

580. Let's see if seven days and seven nights

581. in solitary confinement can help him.

582. No! Hey, no!

583. No!

584. You're a joke!

585. Destruction will come upon thee,

586. and I will do the coming!

587. Ooh. That's nasty.

588. - Hi, Eli. - Aah!

589. Where you been? - What the hell are you doin'?

590. We need to clear some things up.

591. 'Cause I thought we was pals, Bubba.

592. Why you ain't answerin' my calls?

593. I know we used to roll together,

594. but my life took a different path.

595. I met my Aimee-Leigh, and she changed me.

596. We're not in the same world now.

597. I'm not a thug no more, Junior.

598. But I still am, is that what you're saying?

599. Eli...

600. you think you're better'n me?

601. You ain't nobody.

602. You come from the same place I come from—worse.

603. You come from Shitwater, Arkansas, over the bridge.

604. Go back to Memphis.

605. Don't come here no more.

606. I don't wanna be your friend.

607. Damn.

608. Well, now I know the real score.

609. Man, ice cold, Eli.

610. Ice cold.

611. That's fine.

612. I tell you what.

613. If we ain't friends, we enemies.

614. How you like that?