1. The Maniac Kid!
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2. - Come on, Maniac!
- Bring us on home.
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3. He brings a scrappy spirit
to the ring
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4. that many do not survive!
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5. It's the Atomic Drop!
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6. Yeah! Yeah!
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7. From the wrong side
of the tracks,
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8. a newcomer to the league!
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9. All muscle, all attitude!
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10. Maniac Kid
with a high-flying smackdown!
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11. Devastating, homicidal!
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12. He's gone!
Over the cameras!
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13. It's mayhem in Memphis!
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14. Today's special
is Memphis Soul Stew.
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15. Yeah, Maniac Kid!
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16. Damn, boy, that was
a beautiful thing to watch.
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17. Oh, you are poetry in motion,
son.
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18. Here, take it.
Any interest in some bonus pay?
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19. - Yes, sir.
- I'm definitely interested.
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20. All right, well,
you take a ride with us.
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21. South side of town.
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22. Juni!
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23. You drive.
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24. Hey, that's a nice dick, Ernie.
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25. Good morning.
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26. What the fuck?
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27. Get a job, you bums!
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28. The hell's the matter with you?
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29. Did I raise you
to be a piece of shit
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30. or does it just come naturally?
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31. Asshole.
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32. And where's your sympathy?
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33. They just want the same thing
that everybody else wants.
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34. A piece of the fucking pie.
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35. All right, Maniac,
you just follow my lead.
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36. Remember I'm the boss.
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37. You ain't my boss, Junior.
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38. Well, yeah, my daddy's the boss.
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39. But technically,
that makes me above you
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40. and if I give you an order,
you have to do it.
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41. Isn't that right, Daddy?
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42. You ain't the boss of shit.
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43. Now stop trying to be a big man.
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44. Just put on these masks,
get in there,
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45. and take care of business.
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46. Asshole.
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47. This mask smells like shit.
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48. And guess what.
Daddy tooted.
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49. Yes, I did.
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50. Kill 'em.
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51. Kill 'em both.
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52. Oh, yeah.
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53. Crawford,
I'm not gonna tell you again.
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54. Turn it down!
It's keeping her up.
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55. You're making me miss this!
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56. It's my shows, goddamn it.
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57. Your shows...
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58. Don't worry, Margaret.
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59. Not everyone's as mean
as your daddy.
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60. - Shut her up.
- Mm.
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61. While you keep him busy,
I'll go around
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62. and get from behind.
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63. Hey!
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64. Bring me a beer
if you're rummaging around!
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65. This is empty.
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66. Who the fuck are you?
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67. Ow!
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68. - Ow!
- I said turn the goddamn TV...
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69. Daddy's home!
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70. Shh.
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71. You owe Glen.
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72. I ain't got no money!
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73. Ah!
I ain't got no money!
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74. - I'm dead broke!
- You owe Glen,
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75. and I need that money,
and I need it now!
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76. - Tomorrow!
- Tomorrow, I can get it!
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77. Be Christian.
Lemme go!
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78. Do it!
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79. Please, let me go!
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80. Buy yourself something nice.
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81. Yeah.
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82. Ah, yeah, poetry in motion.
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83. You're late, boy.
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84. Sorry, sir.
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85. No, go on.
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86. - Take a seat.
- Yes, ma'am.
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87. Where were you?
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88. I was out running errands.
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89. Errands?
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90. - Yes, sir.
- For who?
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91. For the Lord.
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92. - Can it, Mary!
- Both of you... enough.
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93. Now lead us in prayer.
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94. Me or her?
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95. I'm looking at you.
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96. So just say me then.
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97. Do it, Eli Gemstone.
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98. Yes, sir.
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99. Good food, good meat,
good God, let's eat.
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100. I'm ashamed.
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101. I stand before you
as an old friend
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102. and a child of Christ.
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103. Not the deviant sex-doer
the media paints me as.
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104. I don't know what
my family's gonna do.
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105. You probably should've thought
of that before you filmed
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106. your wife doing cunnilingus
on a woman
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107. in a dance club bathroom.
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108. Amen.
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109. Okay, Diane.
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110. Well, what, you fixing
to pile on?
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111. You got no compassion for me?
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112. After how long
we known each other.
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113. Apparently, I didn't know you
as well as I thought I did.
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114. Lot of revelations
in this "New York Times" piece.
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115. Lots of deviants.
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116. Don't you talk deviants to me.
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117. Brothers, sister pastors,
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118. Makawon wants a chance to speak.
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119. I think we owe him that much.
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120. We didn't do anything illegal.
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121. Those were private pleasures
shared with my wife.
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122. And we didn't know we ate Molly.
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123. We thought
they were mini SweeTarts.
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124. Please don't kick my family
off the streaming platform, Eli.
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125. We've always been
a loyal affiliate.
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126. My church can't survive
in this new normal
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127. without being on streaming.
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128. I don't know what I'm gonna do
if we can't be on TV no more.
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129. It taints the whole brand.
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130. Now what message does
that send to my congregation?
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131. Mak.
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132. Now I know you feeling
'bout as low
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133. as a bowlegged caterpillar.
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134. But I'm with Diane.
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135. He says his church
is really cool with the gays
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136. and the queers,
but not so much about
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137. the swingers
and the thrah... thrahples.
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138. - Damn it, Tony!
- DeeDee and I are not
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139. in a throuple with this woman!
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140. She's a random with a lifestyle
calls her a snack.
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141. You think this reporter's
just my problem?
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142. He's all our problem.
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143. He's a crusader.
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144. An activist.
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145. You're wrong if you don't think
he gonna come after you next.
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146. It ain't like y'all don't have
your secrets too.
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147. All right, Mak.
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148. This is not how I wanted it
to go down.
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149. Mm.
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150. So that's that?
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151. I'm gonna kill myself.
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152. Mak!
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153. Ouch.
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154. My legs!
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155. Oh, my legs!
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156. [Jay-Jay Johanson's
"So Tell the Girls
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157. Hey, so... don't think
I'm not grateful 'cause I...
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158. I totally get how generous
this is and all, really, I do.
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159. But, um...
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160. could I just get an apartment?
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161. This place is kinda...
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162. honestly, Mom, it's super gross.
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163. Yeah, no doy it's super gross.
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164. Granddaddy Roy died here.
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165. Pooped and peed
all over the floors.
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166. But that was many moons ago.
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167. That's right, and we've had
this place deep cleaned
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168. - multiple times.
- Right.
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169. Your great-granddaddy's
mansion is our gift to you
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170. - for making the right choices.
- Mm-hmm.
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171. You found a way to use
your movie industry
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172. Tinseltown talents for good.
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173. And not just for good,
but for God.
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174. I mean, I'm filming sermons.
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175. It's not quite
what I was trying to do.
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176. - No, it's better.
- Yeah, it's better.
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177. - Ow!
- The hell is that?
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178. Ah, stop it!
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179. Hey, Mom,
can we kick holes in the walls
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180. in the green bathroom?
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181. The toilet in there
doesn't even work.
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182. No, you may not!
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183. Man!
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184. Let's go jump
on the Tempur-Pedic!
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185. - Abraham!
- Abraham,
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186. take that goddamn diaper
off your head!
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187. Gideon, get up there
and straighten those boys out.
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188. - Okay.
- And if you wouldn't mind,
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189. please,
your mother and I would like you
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190. to have a talk with Abraham.
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191. What about?
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192. Uh...
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193. Well, it would appear
that your baby bro
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194. has started to jack
his little ding-a-ling.
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195. And your mama has found
his stained jockeys
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196. in some very odd places.
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197. Mm-hmm,
I think he's embarrassed.
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198. I... I don't understand.
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199. - What's confusing?
- He's blasting come everywhere.
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200. And your mom found
his damn undergarments
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201. hidden every which way
but loose.
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202. She found a pair
of his crusty child chones
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203. - in the living room bible.
- Mm.
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204. And then found another pair
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205. stuffed in the back
of the freezer
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206. where the Dreamsicles are.
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207. I had two of those yesterday.
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208. We all enjoy the Dreamsicles.
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209. The little dude is up
in his room
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210. fuckin' blasting shit
behind his headboard.
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211. Sitting there blasting one
underneath his little kid desk.
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212. Your mom and I
are not comfortable
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213. talking about come
with your baby brother.
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214. - Mm-hmm.
- Load-blow convos
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215. are more appropriate,
we believe,
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216. coming from an older sibling
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217. as opposed to mommies
and daddies.
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218. What am I supposed to say?
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219. I don't know.
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220. Tell him to knock it off.
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221. Tell him to put it
in a damn napkin and flush it
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222. - like a normal person.
- Yes.
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223. Don't be field micing
this shit around the house.
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224. It's disrespectful.
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225. - Okay.
- I... I... I'll... feel it out.
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226. Try to bring it up organically.
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227. - Thank you.
- Of course.
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228. I got faith in you.
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229. - Yeah.
- Okay.
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230. - Bye, guys.
- Hey, hey!
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231. - Hey.
- Fucking love you, homie.
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232. - Love you too.
- And I was just playing
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233. when I said that Granddaddy Roy
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234. pooped and peed
all over the floors.
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235. - Okay.
- He didn't do that.
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236. Just the master bedroom.
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237. I'll probably just move
into the guest bedroom
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238. knowing that about the master.
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239. - Yep, whatever you want.
- Okay.
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240. My word, the voice of an angel.
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241. Daddy,
all I do is I open my mouth
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242. and I let God do the rest.
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243. That's wonderful, Judy.
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244. That's the very best thing
to do.
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245. The book of Matthew...
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246. Tells of nation
rising against nation,
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247. kingdom against kingdom.
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248. A time of famines,
pestilence, and earthquakes.
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249. Sound familiar?
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250. In such scary, uncertain times,
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251. come diseases, financial ruin,
political turmoil.
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252. That's right, folks...
the works.
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253. Knowing
that we could reach God...
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254. and he will answer.
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255. That's what we need right now!
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256. Amen.
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257. - Well, hold on.
- Wait a second, Daddy.
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258. Are you saying
people need Jesus's love
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259. now more than ever?
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260. Duh, my brother!
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261. We always need Jesus's love.
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262. But especially now.
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263. We do need Jesus' love
now more than ever.
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264. We are introducing
a streaming platform
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265. where you can access
Christian programming
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266. 24/7 unlimited
whenever you need it.
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267. We call this service GODD:
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268. Gemstone on Digital Demand!
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269. Whoo!
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270. With the launch of G-O-Double D,
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271. the Gemstones
have officially entered
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272. the streaming wars.
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273. Available on smart TVs, Roku,
Android, and Apple devices.
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274. Son, you speaking robot?
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275. Can we get that in English
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276. for us older folks?
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277. Uh, Daddy,
I think what he's trying to say
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278. is you can watch it
just about anywhere.
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279. And it is time to finally
stop the constant flood
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280. of filth and propaganda
coming out of Hollywood.
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281. If they're gonna fill
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282. the airwaves 24/7
with that garbage,
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283. - we gonna do the same thing.
- Mm-hmm.
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284. That calls for a celebration!
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285. Who wants to sing and rejoice?
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286. Streaming services.
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287. Amen!
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288. Let's not fill up on rolls here.
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289. Stick to the salad bar.
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290. Don't forget, we are
swimming laps after lunch,
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291. so eat light.
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292. We nourish our bodies
for His love.
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293. - Cool.
- So cool.
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294. Excuse me, sir?
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295. What's up?
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296. Dismissed.
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297. Will you be dining
with the men and I?
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298. Of course not, Keefe.
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299. I'll be above you,
upstairs with the family.
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300. Shall I join you?
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301. Oh, not appropriate.
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302. Upstairs church lunch is only
for the family.
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303. See you upstairs, Kelvin.
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304. And... Daddy's
closest work acquaintances.
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305. That's okay.
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306. Hey, do not take this personal.
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307. No matter
how many disciples we gather,
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308. you're still my number one.
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309. All right?
All right?
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310. Oh, let me tickle
them titty meats.
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311. See you inside.
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312. - He said my... you...
- I'll see you... inside.
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313. He tried to kill himself?
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314. Oh, that is horrible.
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315. I just can't believe there was
nothing you could do about it.
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316. I mean,
you couldn't just tell him
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317. that the Butterfields
were staying in?
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318. Nothing I could do.
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319. Damage had already been done.
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320. He made his bed.
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321. It sounds like a lot
of people made their way
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322. into his bed.
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323. Oh, ha-ha, Martin.
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324. That fucking reporter ruined
their whole life.
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325. Like, blew up their whole deal.
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326. I feel really sad for them.
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327. Don't let it distract you.
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328. I wanna make sure
everybody is here
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329. for the missionary seminar
next week.
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330. Well, Amber and myself
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331. will unfortunately
have to take a rain check.
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332. We have been invited
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333. to a formal sit-down
with the Lissons.
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334. The Lissons?
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335. The gorgeous preaching couple
from Texas?
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336. - Yeah.
- What for?
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337. What do you mean, "What for?"
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338. They're a successful
power Christian couple.
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339. As are my wife and I.
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340. Who knows what the hell
we can cook up together.
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341. Well, it's just weird
that they invited you
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342. and not anybody else.
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343. - Thank you.
- I mean, there's a lot
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344. of successful people
in this family.
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345. That's all I'm saying.
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346. If the Lissons
wanna open up a Gold's Gym,
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347. I'll tell 'em
to give you a call.
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348. I imagine we were invited
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349. 'cause they probably realized,
as Daddy's faculties are...
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350. waning and he starts
getting older and tired-er...
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351. No offense, Daddy...
that Amber and myself
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352. are the logical next leaders.
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353. Y'all are not the only
married people in this family.
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354. Me and BJ are
also strongly betrothed
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355. and also crushing it.
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356. Not a real family.
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357. - No kids.
- Ooh, ooh!
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358. - Slam. I like that one.
- Mm-hmm.
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359. I don't got time for kids
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360. 'cause I'm trying to keep
this fresh physique fine.
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361. I'm not trying to be
all loose and stretched out
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362. like Amber's
played-out pastrami.
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363. Could you please pass
the mustard?
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364. Hey, do not talk
about my wife's vagina
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365. at church lunch, do you hear me?
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366. - It's okay, baby.
- She's just jealous.
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367. Oh, please.
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368. Because her wedding
wasn't even real.
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369. God.
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370. That was cold.
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371. Not letting Daddy
walk you down the aisle.
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372. There was not a aisle, dummy!
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373. I don't know how many fucking
times I need to say that.
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374. It was just, like,
a area by rides, okay?
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375. Daddy knows.
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376. Disney World was a thing.
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377. It was BJ's dream wedding
destination.
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378. So we did it Nike style, dog.
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379. We just did it, okay?
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380. That's how we roll.
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381. We're seat-of-our-pants.
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382. We're fun kids.
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383. We're whim babies, so...
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384. We meant no disrespect, Daddy.
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385. Ugh, Daddy.
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386. I just wanna know
who officiated the wedding.
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387. Was it Donald or was it Goofy?
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388. - Oh!
- Ooh, slice.
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389. That was a good one.
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390. It was Prince Eric,
for your information.
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391. - Thank you.
- Prince Eric?
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392. Who the fuck is that?
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393. The boy
from "The Little Mermaid."
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394. The hottest guy
in the entire Disney catalog.
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395. Ariel's boyfriend,
you fucking bitches.
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396. - Oh, God.
- Oh, Lord.
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397. Y'all went down to Disney World,
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398. didn't invite any family
to come to your wedding,
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399. and you didn't even get
a legacy character to marry you.
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400. What legacy character
were we supposed to go for
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401. - that's better than Prince Eric?
- Oh, I don't know.
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402. How 'bout Mickey Mouse?
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403. Man, fuck Mickey!
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404. Enough!
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405. Judy, I don't want to discuss
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406. - the mermaid wedding.
- Yes, sir.
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407. Jesse, I'm not going anywhere.
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408. So there's no need to start
working on who's taking over.
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409. Okay, I'm just saying,
you know, at your age...
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410. it's probably never too early
to think about the future.
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411. You know, I mean, you could be
sitting here being fine
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412. one minute, doing church lunch
and ministering,
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413. and the next minute you can't
even wipe your own shits.
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414. Then the whole entire church
goes down to the caboodles
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415. because nobody knows
who's gonna run it.
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416. That... that... that's
where I'm coming from.
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417. Well, I appreciate your concern.
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418. But like I said...
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419. I'm not going anywhere.
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420. Well, let's just hope
my campaign plays out
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421. a hell of a lot better
than I played that back nine.
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422. It's about time I took
some money off you, senator.
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423. Since you always seem
to have your hands on mine.
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424. Why do you think I let you win?
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425. Ay, Maniac Kid!
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426. It's me.
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427. Sir! I'm sorry.
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428. This is private property.
Members only.
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429. I'm a personal guest
of Eli Gemstone's.
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430. Yeah, me and the man
go way back.
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431. I'll see you Sunday service.
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432. - Come on.
- Get your meat hooks off me!
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433. I will fuck you up.
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434. Hey, I can take a hint!
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435. Don't touch me.
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436. Or you will regret it.
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437. Lissons! Lissons! Lissons!
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438. Texas, make some noise!
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439. My man!
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440. You know the words, come on!
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441. Oh, yeah.
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442. Let's go, baby.
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443. Hey, uh, Lyle,
I think God is ready to talk.
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444. What do you think?
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445. I think so too, Lindy.
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446. Question is,
are you all ready to Lisson?
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447. That's good.
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448. Do you want it?
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449. Yeah!
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450. - Who wants it?
- Do you want the power
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451. of the Holy Spirit in you?
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452. Can't hear you now.
What, what did you say now?
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453. Well, then all you got to do
is take it.
Copy !req
454. Take it!
Copy !req
455. - Yeah, you felt that, right?
- I know I did.
Copy !req
456. You want
the Holy Spirit right now?
Copy !req
457. Oh, yes.
Copy !req
458. Yeah, this is awesome.
Copy !req
459. Is this what you want?
Copy !req
460. It's what I want.
Copy !req
461. Now, you, right there!
Copy !req
462. Take it!
Copy !req
463. Oh.
Copy !req
464. Take it, take it,
take it, take it!
Copy !req
465. Take it, take it, take it!
Copy !req
466. Don't mind if I do.
Mm.
Copy !req
467. Look, I just wanna thank y'all
for inviting our family out here
Copy !req
468. for this little hang sesh.
Copy !req
469. - Mm-hmm.
- Hey, Gemstones rule the east.
Copy !req
470. Lissons rule the west.
Copy !req
471. Why has it taken us this long
to combine forces
Copy !req
472. and see what God can do
with this synergy?
Copy !req
473. Y'all like beach vacations?
Copy !req
474. - Live for 'em.
- Waves and sunbeams.
Copy !req
475. Yes, well, how would you like
to take a vacation
Copy !req
476. at the beach with Jesus Christ?
Copy !req
477. I would love
to go there with Him.
Copy !req
478. Okay, well that's good news
'cause we got plans
Copy !req
479. to construct a temple
of sun and sand
Copy !req
480. in honor of our love for Christ.
Copy !req
481. We're calling this place
Zion's Landing.
Copy !req
482. It's a Christian
time-share resort
Copy !req
483. on the sunny beaches of Florida.
Copy !req
484. - Whoo!
- Sounds too good to be true.
Copy !req
485. Well, pulling something
like Zion's Landing off
Copy !req
486. ain't gonna be easy now.
Copy !req
487. Lindy and I said we got
to align ourselves
Copy !req
488. with the biggest and the best.
Copy !req
489. I mean, only pure thoroughbreds.
Copy !req
490. Whew, well, I appreciate you
seeing the Gemstones
Copy !req
491. as thoroughbreds.
Copy !req
492. That's exactly how
we see y'all too.
Copy !req
493. - We do.
- Powerful...
Copy !req
494. Christian horses-type folks.
Copy !req
495. I mean,
we have waited a long time...
Copy !req
496. - Oh, yeah.
- To get the power from Lyle's
Copy !req
497. - mama and daddy.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
498. Now that we have it...
Copy !req
499. we're gonna do so many
wonderful things in His name.
Copy !req
500. - Mm-hmm.
- That is so amazing that you
Copy !req
501. say that because we're about
to get the reigns
Copy !req
502. from Jesse's daddy.
Copy !req
503. And we wanna do things
just like this.
Copy !req
504. Well, pop the champagne.
Copy !req
505. - That is wonderful news.
- Yes.
Copy !req
506. When's your daddy planning
on stepping down?
Copy !req
507. - Well, he did...
- He didn't...
Copy !req
508. - We're...
- He hasn't really...
Copy !req
509. - We're getting him there.
- He's... he hasn't
Copy !req
510. really admitted
that the time has come.
Copy !req
511. - Yet.
- We're getting him there.
Copy !req
512. - Close.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
513. Real close.
Copy !req
514. Lyle's parents
were the same way.
Copy !req
515. - Mm-hmm.
- Same generation as Eli.
Copy !req
516. Boomers.
Copy !req
517. - Mm.
- Most selfish generation
Copy !req
518. to ever live.
Copy !req
519. Ooh, you said it, girl.
Copy !req
520. They won't
get the hell out of the way
Copy !req
521. even when it's God's plan.
Copy !req
522. Okay, let's be real
with one another here.
Copy !req
523. Parents suck.
Copy !req
524. - Yeah.
- Couldn't agree more.
Copy !req
525. Parents do suck.
Copy !req
526. Siblings too.
Copy !req
527. My sister tried to pop off
Copy !req
528. when Daddy had his stroke.
Copy !req
529. Trying to act like
she was running things.
Copy !req
530. - Just 'cause she's a nurse.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
531. I told my sister nuh-uh.
Copy !req
532. Showed force,
chased her ass out.
Copy !req
533. Got my daddy's ass
into assisted living.
Copy !req
534. See, this is the kinda stories
I need to hear.
Copy !req
535. - Yeah.
- You gotta marginalize
Copy !req
536. - your siblings.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
537. Firstborns lead the way
when parents trip.
Copy !req
538. Period.
Copy !req
539. - Firstborns.
- Both of you?
Copy !req
540. - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
541. - Both of us.
- No.
Copy !req
542. Firstborns.
Copy !req
543. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
Copy !req
544. I knew I liked them.
Copy !req
545. - Mm-hmm.
- Can we count on your support?
Copy !req
546. Lissons and Gemstones making
Christian tourism history?
Copy !req
547. Praise be.
Copy !req
548. - Oh!
- I'll tell you what,
Copy !req
549. you got mine and my wife's,
uh, total support.
Copy !req
550. - Mm-hmm.
- Now technically,
Copy !req
551. we are gonna have to run this
past my daddy.
Copy !req
552. Let's bring him on down
to the project site.
Copy !req
553. - Yeah.
- Ol' Lyle can kiss
Copy !req
554. a parent's ass
like nobody's business.
Copy !req
555. I will butter Eli's balls
and toss in a side of biscuits.
Copy !req
556. He could use
some ball-buttering.
Copy !req
557. We'll get his approval.
Copy !req
558. So we're gonna cut
all this down.
Copy !req
559. Wipe this maritime forest
right out.
Copy !req
560. - Oh.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
561. There is a small issue
with the sea turtles.
Copy !req
562. Apparently this is a sanctuary.
Copy !req
563. They don't like bright lights
or whatever.
Copy !req
564. That's just people being silly.
Copy !req
565. - We'll get past that.
- Ow!
Copy !req
566. They'll get past that, Daddy.
Copy !req
567. So we gonna put three towers
up here.
Copy !req
568. And between 'em is where
we'll have our splash zone,
Copy !req
569. adult pool, hot tubs.
Copy !req
570. - It's here?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
571. Okay, so the hot tubs are near
where the elephants
Copy !req
572. - hose down Noah's ark?
- That's right.
Copy !req
573. God, that's smart.
Copy !req
574. And a performance stage
on the flotilla.
Copy !req
575. Imagine preaching
with that incredible backdrop.
Copy !req
576. That ain't it sad it ain't
a painting, brother.
Copy !req
577. No, that is no Thomas Kinkade,
Daddy.
Copy !req
578. That's the real deal
right there.
Copy !req
579. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
580. God is speaking to us
in these waves.
Copy !req
581. This is his miracle.
Copy !req
582. Mm-hmm, that's right, Amber.
Copy !req
583. - God's miracle.
- Smells.
Copy !req
584. Lot of Christians would love
to visit a place like this.
Copy !req
585. Especially
if it's all-inclusive,
Copy !req
586. top-notch restaurants,
and a kid's club.
Copy !req
587. Come on now.
Copy !req
588. Hang on,
there's kids allowed here?
Copy !req
589. - Yeah, duh.
- Of course.
Copy !req
590. I'm not coming then,
because that is an ultimate
Copy !req
591. and immediate vibe-killer.
Copy !req
592. Makes it seem dirty and cheap.
Copy !req
593. I don't know about that.
Copy !req
594. - Kids mean bacteria.
- No thanks.
Copy !req
595. I'm not trying
to get bacteria on me
Copy !req
596. when I'm trying to be sexy.
Copy !req
597. Judy, you can say that,
Copy !req
598. but I can imagine
our families here.
Copy !req
599. Helping to bring this beauty
to all Christians...
Copy !req
600. who can afford
a two-night minimum.
Copy !req
601. Two-night min
means you on a trip.
Copy !req
602. A legit vacation.
Copy !req
603. Nobody's doing
one-night stands here, Daddy.
Copy !req
604. Wholesome!
Copy !req
605. Lyle...
Copy !req
606. you got a fantastic idea here.
Copy !req
607. Location's perfect.
Copy !req
608. - So what do we say?
- Are we in?
Copy !req
609. We gonna do this?
Copy !req
610. It's beautiful.
Copy !req
611. Yeah.
Copy !req
612. But no, it's not
the right time for her.
Copy !req
613. Oh.
Copy !req
614. Daddy, how can you say that?
Copy !req
615. You ain't even looked
at the numbers yet.
Copy !req
616. I have! They're good!
Copy !req
617. - Lot of zeroes.
- I said my piece, Jesse.
Copy !req
618. But Daddy,
this is a real good deal!
Copy !req
619. Not your call, Jesse.
Copy !req
620. It's mine.
Copy !req
621. No, it is... it's my call too.
Copy !req
622. Stop showing off in front
of your friends, Jesse.
Copy !req
623. I'm not showing off!
Copy !req
624. You are!
Copy !req
625. What was that?
Copy !req
626. What a grand waste of time.
Copy !req
627. Stupid idea.
Copy !req
628. I got sand in my shoes.
Copy !req
629. He's here.
Copy !req
630. Come on.
Copy !req
631. Oh, God.
Copy !req
632. Kelvin, what the fuck is this?
Copy !req
633. Uh-oh, my mans.
Copy !req
634. Ew.
Copy !req
635. - You are looking great.
- Ew.
Copy !req
636. You are looking really good.
Copy !req
637. You looking swole.
Copy !req
638. Gross, Kelvin.
Copy !req
639. Party burpee!
Copy !req
640. Come on!
Copy !req
641. One more!
Let's go!
Copy !req
642. - Go in the car.
- I'll take care of this.
Copy !req
643. - Get low!
- I'ma talk to him.
Copy !req
644. Okay, Chad in the back,
you gotta work on your form.
Copy !req
645. All right?
I don't wanna tell you again.
Copy !req
646. You know we can't say no
to this.
Copy !req
647. In our mind, in our body.
Copy !req
648. I'm actually pretty surprised
Copy !req
649. at how bad you are being
at business right now.
Copy !req
650. - Party burpee!
- Jesse, you know damn well
Copy !req
651. the world has been upside-down.
Copy !req
652. Friends falling all around us.
Copy !req
653. Now ain't the time for growth.
Copy !req
654. It's time to...
Copy !req
655. shore up,
strengthen what we got.
Copy !req
656. Well, I think doing
a time-share resort
Copy !req
657. with the Lissons is a hell
of a way to strengthen up.
Copy !req
658. But we can agree to disagree.
Copy !req
659. You know, this resort was
very important to Amber and I.
Copy !req
660. And being friends
with the Lissons
Copy !req
661. was also very important.
Copy !req
662. I'll tell you this much,
Copy !req
663. when I run this church,
I will not shun allies.
Copy !req
664. When you run the church?
Copy !req
665. Don't get ahead of yourself,
boy.
Copy !req
666. Lyle's mom and dad knew when
it was time to step aside
Copy !req
667. and let him have a shot.
Copy !req
668. Look what he's doing now.
Copy !req
669. Making beautiful
time-share resorts
Copy !req
670. in fucking paradise.
Copy !req
671. Jesse, I'm sorry your life
didn't crack out
Copy !req
672. the way you wanted.
Copy !req
673. My apologies
for still being alive.
Copy !req
674. Oh, you know what?
Copy !req
675. All you ever care about
is building this church.
Copy !req
676. Cared about that more than
being a daddy.
Copy !req
677. More than anything.
Copy !req
678. Even now,
when it's so painfully obvious
Copy !req
679. it's time for you
just to slow down
Copy !req
680. and let me have a crack
at things.
Copy !req
681. But you won't.
Copy !req
682. You're gonna end up
just like Granddaddy Roy.
Copy !req
683. If you wanna start a resort
with the Lissons,
Copy !req
684. go right ahead.
Copy !req
685. Just leave me out of it!
Copy !req
686. Wait, so I can do it?
Copy !req
687. Do what you want!
Copy !req
688. Peabody Award-winning
journalist Thaniel Block's
Copy !req
689. new bombshell report
Copy !req
690. describing
a salacious sex scandal
Copy !req
691. involving Detroit pastor
Makawon Butterfield.
Copy !req
692. Can't hear you.
Copy !req
693. - This fucking beeping.
- Double life.
Copy !req
694. - Am I on?
- One of a beloved reverend
Copy !req
695. by day, the other,
Copy !req
696. a wife-swapping swinger
by night.
Copy !req
697. Thaniel, it's safe to say
that for evangelicals,
Copy !req
698. this is a big no-no, right?
Copy !req
699. Yeah, particularly for a pastor
Copy !req
700. like Reverend Butterfield,
Copy !req
701. who's been outspoken about
sexual immorality in the past.
Copy !req
702. You know, people look to him
for spiritual guidance,
Copy !req
703. often tithing 10%
of their income.
Copy !req
704. These tax-exempt churches rake
in millions of dollars a year.
Copy !req
705. - Big money.
- Yes!
Copy !req
706. And corruption is a real concern
Copy !req
707. when you're talking about
that kind of money.
Copy !req
708. This grift is as old
as Christianity itself.
Copy !req
709. Look, I've been accused
of being anti-religion.
Copy !req
710. No, I'm anti-hypocrisy.
Copy !req
711. And there are
a lot more hypocrites
Copy !req
712. in this industry.
Copy !req
713. Butterfield only begins
to scratch the surface.
Copy !req
714. You thought you could duck me,
you high-falutin son of a bitch?
Copy !req
715. Oh, what the hell is this?
Copy !req
716. I followed ya.
Copy !req
717. Wasn't too hard
with that fancy truck
Copy !req
718. and that personalized plate.
Copy !req
719. Damn it, Junior.
Copy !req
720. Oh, so you do remember my name.
Copy !req
721. I thought for a minute there
I was so insignificant
Copy !req
722. till you'd plum forgotten
I ever existed.
Copy !req
723. I remember you.
Copy !req
724. Damn, we got old.
Copy !req
725. I know I look like shit,
but damn!
Copy !req
726. You look sturdy.
Copy !req
727. - Still got that mass going on.
- God!
Copy !req
728. What do you want?
Copy !req
729. I just wanted
to see an old friend.
Copy !req
730. The older I get, the more...
Copy !req
731. sentimental I'm leaning.
Copy !req
732. Nostalgic.
Copy !req
733. And I can't help
but thinking about
Copy !req
734. when you and I worked together.
Copy !req
735. You want money?
Copy !req
736. You gonna try to blackmail me?
Copy !req
737. Sell the story?
Copy !req
738. Let's not waste time here.
Copy !req
739. Why y'all nervous, Eli?
Copy !req
740. Why you being all...
Copy !req
741. Weird?
Copy !req
742. You following me, that's weird!
Copy !req
743. Whatever it is you're trying
to pull here,
Copy !req
744. I don't got time for it.
Copy !req
745. Come on, Eli!
Copy !req
746. Can't old friends reconnect?
Copy !req
747. - Oh...
- Man.
Copy !req
748. I... I'm busy.
Copy !req
749. Take care.
Copy !req
750. Man, me and my old man
watched you rise, man.
Copy !req
751. Yeah, for real.
Copy !req
752. It was wild to see you come from
Copy !req
753. where we come from
and do what you done.
Copy !req
754. My daddy was so proud of you.
Copy !req
755. He acted like he discovered you.
Copy !req
756. I don't mean to bother you.
Copy !req
757. I guess I just thought about you
Copy !req
758. probably more than you thought
about me, that's all.
Copy !req
759. Just wanted you
to know you done good!
Copy !req
760. Sorry if I spooked you!
Copy !req
761. See you around, Eli.
Copy !req
762. You hungry?
Copy !req
763. Siblings,
I have summoned you here today
Copy !req
764. because Amber and I have won.
Copy !req
765. Through my powers of persuasion,
I have broken Daddy down.
Copy !req
766. And now the writing
is on the wall.
Copy !req
767. That old man is on his way out,
Copy !req
768. and I am stepping into power.
Copy !req
769. Y'all back me
and I'll give you a good deal.
Copy !req
770. You'll never lead, of course.
Copy !req
771. But you will be able
to keep your homes,
Copy !req
772. your automobiles.
Copy !req
773. - Mm.
- Maintain an annual salary,
Copy !req
774. perhaps even a raise.
Copy !req
775. - Oh.
- All I ask in return
Copy !req
776. is that you kiss the ring.
Copy !req
777. What ring?
Copy !req
778. Your ring?
Copy !req
779. My wedding ring.
Copy !req
780. You're fucking high, dude.
Copy !req
781. Like I'm gonna kiss
that smelly ass ring
Copy !req
782. that's probably been shoved
up Amber's pussy.
Copy !req
783. Oh, it's definitely been
shoved up her pussy.
Copy !req
784. That's why kissing it
is so very cool.
Copy !req
785. - Ugh!
- That... that is foul.
Copy !req
786. - Sick.
- And boy,
Copy !req
787. with all the stunts
you've pulled,
Copy !req
788. you really think
in a million years
Copy !req
789. that Daddy would trust you
to run the church?
Copy !req
790. - Keep dreaming.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
791. What do you know about anything?
Copy !req
792. All you care about these days
is fucking muscles.
Copy !req
793. Acting like it's about God.
It's not.
Copy !req
794. It's about being self-centered
and popping boners.
Copy !req
795. It's about being healthy.
Copy !req
796. - Okay.
- And if you're healthy
Copy !req
797. you do maintain
a proper erection.
Copy !req
798. - That's true.
- Whatever!
Copy !req
799. Accept my dominance or don't.
Copy !req
800. Doesn't matter to me.
Copy !req
801. The damn tides of time
and winds of dust
Copy !req
802. are upon us.
Copy !req
803. My reign is nigh.
Copy !req
804. What the fuck
did you even just say, man?
Copy !req
805. - That made no sense to me.
- That sounded foreign.
Copy !req
806. That's not a phrase, dummy.
Copy !req
807. Nigh.
Copy !req
808. You're just both a bunch
of two-bit half-rate siblings.
Copy !req
809. Damn Frank Stallone
and fucking Stephen Baldwin
Copy !req
810. over here.
Copy !req
811. I'm Stephen Baldwin?
Copy !req
812. Yes, you are.
Copy !req
813. - Oh.
- No, you fucking did not.
Copy !req
814. I ain't got no time for this.
Copy !req
815. Bye, Felicia.
Copy !req
816. - Okay, no.
- What did he just say?
Copy !req
817. Mm-mm, no!
Copy !req
818. Did he just say "Bye, Felicia"
to me?
Copy !req
819. Yep. Why... does... what
does that mean?
Copy !req
820. Bye, Felicia.
Copy !req
821. Jesse,
you will never run this family.
Copy !req
822. - So "Bye, Felicia" to you, Jesse!
- Hey.
Copy !req
823. Who's Felicia?
Copy !req
824. - You are.
- No, you're Felicia.
Copy !req
825. Let's just all act like adults.
Copy !req
826. - You're Felicia.
- Well, we can act like adults
Copy !req
827. if he's Felicia
'cause I'm not fucking Felicia!
Copy !req
828. - Yeah.
- Felicia.
Copy !req
829. - No, you're Felicia!
- No, it's okay.
Copy !req
830. - You're Felicia!
- It's okay.
Copy !req
831. He's not worth it.
Hey, hey.
Copy !req
832. I know,
I know you're not Felicia.
Copy !req
833. I'm Kelvin, you're Judy, okay?
Copy !req
834. Yeah, I'm Judy.
Copy !req
835. - I know you are.
- You want a snow cone?
Copy !req
836. - Mm, yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
837. Okay, we'll get you a snow cone.
Copy !req
838. Get what you want.
Copy !req
839. I'm buying.
Copy !req
840. Thank you.
Copy !req
841. Well, I'm going back and forth
between...
Copy !req
842. steak and the alfredo.
Copy !req
843. But since you're buying,
I'm gonna take steak.
Copy !req
844. Get what you want.
Copy !req
845. Eli.
Copy !req
846. Check it out
over your right shoulder.
Copy !req
847. Damn, look at that piece of tail
he's with.
Copy !req
848. Mm, mm!
Copy !req
849. He's gonna go bone deep on her
Copy !req
850. right here
in the Sticky Steven's, Eli.
Copy !req
851. Hey!
Copy !req
852. Y'all wanna tone down
the romance?
Copy !req
853. We got kids sitting right here.
Copy !req
854. - What, you talking to me?
- Well, just maybe show
Copy !req
855. your affection
in a more appropriate manner.
Copy !req
856. How 'bout you suck my dick,
Gramps?
Copy !req
857. - Randall!
- Hey.
Copy !req
858. I do whatever the fuck I want,
all right?
Copy !req
859. Now eat your noodles.
Copy !req
860. Fucking go back to the movie
"Cocoon," all right?
Copy !req
861. - Bye.
- Not trying to offend.
Copy !req
862. Just looking out
for the young ones.
Copy !req
863. Fucking guy is lucky
he's still got teeth.
Copy !req
864. Just ignore him.
Copy !req
865. I'm gonna get the mahi.
Copy !req
866. Still wrestling?
Copy !req
867. Nah, just do
character work, mostly.
Copy !req
868. I might step in
and talk some shit, but...
Copy !req
869. No, nowadays,
I'm just promoting.
Copy !req
870. I got a stable full
of fellas I keep working.
Copy !req
871. Good for you.
Copy !req
872. That's good.
Copy !req
873. I wonder
what my daddy might think
Copy !req
874. about you and I being reunited.
Copy !req
875. Well, he put us together.
Copy !req
876. He'd probably think he'd done
a pretty good job.
Copy !req
877. Picking two men with so much
to offer the world.
Copy !req
878. He'd try and take credit.
Copy !req
879. Yeah, he would.
Copy !req
880. Yeah, he would.
Copy !req
881. You know that son of a bitch
just skipped town on me one day?
Copy !req
882. Left me with nothing.
Copy !req
883. Just up and disappeared.
Copy !req
884. Disappeared.
Copy !req
885. Imagine that.
Copy !req
886. Your own daddy dislikes you
that much.
Copy !req
887. Don't look at it that way,
Junior.
Copy !req
888. That ain't gonna help you none.
Copy !req
889. I like to think that he made
his way down to Bolivia.
Copy !req
890. That's what he said
Butch and Sundance did.
Copy !req
891. They didn't die
like in the movie.
Copy !req
892. Nah, they got to Bolivia
and lived out their lives.
Copy !req
893. I like to think
that's what he did.
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894. Find himself a beautiful
"in-dig-inus" senorita
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895. and lived out his life
down there.
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896. Yeah.
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897. You know,
some people think I killed him.
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898. Enough of that.
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899. I don't need to sit here
drifting while you're...
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900. sitting there
looking all uncomfortable.
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901. Nonsense.
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902. Connecting with the past
is a powerful thing.
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903. Let's pray, Junior.
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904. Oh, Eli.
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905. No offense.
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906. I ain't religious.
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907. Well, it's a good thing I am.
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908. I'll show you what to do.
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909. Let me see them hands.
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910. Okay.
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911. Heavenly father, thank you for
bringing old friends together.
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912. Please help Junior heal
from the past.
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913. Even though we don't understand
why we endure the pain we do,
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914. we trust that it is your will.
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915. We are at your mercy.
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916. And your mercy...
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917. Shall redeem us.
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918. Amen.
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919. Amen.
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920. Damn.
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921. Kinda nice.
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922. I ended up beating him,
so we can do the hotel with you.
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923. We're in.
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924. And we're also excited
to be a hotelier with you.
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925. Lates, JG.
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926. - Ooh, baby!
- It's so fucking good!
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927. I'ma do an Adderall
to celebrate.
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928. I don't love it,
but you wrote a great email,
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929. so I give you my bless.
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930. What the hell?
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931. What?
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932. Where's the littlest son we have
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933. who's been coming on things?
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934. - Are you boosting?
- Come on, Pontius.
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935. I thought you were better than
this.
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936. Pont, you are getting lapped
right now.
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937. He's got the better car, so...
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938. Are you not using the nitrous
or something?
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939. I didn't know
there was nitrous, so...
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940. Gideon.
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941. Come here for a second.
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942. Just talk to you real quick.
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943. Sure.
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944. What's going on?
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945. Did you talk to your brother
like I asked you to?
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946. Because I just found
this in my pens drawer.
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947. The fuck? Gross.
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948. - What is that?
- It's Jesse boy's delicates.
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949. Your brother stuffed this
in my damn pens drawer!
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950. I touched it
with my bare fingers!
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951. - Why'd you touch it?
- Why didn't you talk to him
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952. - like I asked you to?
- I tried.
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953. I swear to God, I tried.
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954. I could not figure out a way
to bring it up, man.
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955. You wanna be a preacher,
don't you?
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956. - Uh...
- Shut up, you do.
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957. - Okay.
- If you're gonna be a preacher,
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958. you gotta be able to talk
about anything, all right?
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959. Even if it makes us
uncomfortable.
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960. When we stop doing that...
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961. mm-hmm.
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962. People burn in hell.
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963. Watch and learn.
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964. You want me to come in there
with you?
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965. - Yes!
- Okay.
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966. 'Sup, sup?
Guys, little men, what's up?
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967. - 'Sup.
- 'Sup.
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968. Glad you said 'sup first,
Pontius, because I need you
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969. to take the computer goggles off
your face and exit for a moment.
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970. I-I'm in the middle of a game.
Copy !req
971. - I'll play your turn.
- Get up right now.
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972. Take a hike.
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973. Don't make me say it again.
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974. Okay,
don't make me get mad at you.
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975. Abraham.
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976. This chair's a trip, yo.
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977. Do you need help?
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978. What did he do to it?
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979. Did he break it?
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980. - Shit.
- You gotta...
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981. - Dad, you have to put one...
- Shh. I got it, I got it.
Copy !req
982. Go ahead and hit pause
on the game system there, blood.
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983. Like to rap with you
for a second if I could.
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984. Why were your delicates crammed
in my pens drawer, Abraham?
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985. It's not what you think.
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986. Seems to me
it's exactly what I think.
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987. It's crusty and crinkling
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988. and discolored.
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989. I mean, you're just
inside your room, I guess,
Copy !req
990. having nocturnal emissions
all day long, okay?
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991. From the amount
of garments I've found
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992. stuffed around this house,
it's very disrespectful.
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993. Abraham,
let me ask you a question.
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994. Do you know what really happens
when a boy...
Copy !req
995. does the stuff to himself to...
Copy !req
996. to make the come stuff
into the underwear?
Copy !req
997. When those hands of yours
touch your privates,
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998. an alarm goes off in heaven.
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999. Okay?
And every loved one
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1000. you've ever known that's dead,
Copy !req
1001. they are alerted.
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1002. They float to where you are,
they join hands,
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1003. and they watch you
be dirty to yourself.
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1004. - Like Grandma?
- Yep, she watches.
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1005. Great-granddaddy Roy.
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1006. Great-grandmama.
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1007. Even some relatives
you've never even met before
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1008. like ancient ones from
the Revolutionary War times.
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1009. Ghosts that will watch you
and be ashamed
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1010. of what you're doing
to yourself,
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1011. of how you're being dirty
and provocative
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1012. to your private parts.
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1013. You understand?
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1014. When people see you
do something bad...
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1015. it's hard for them
to see you any other way.
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1016. I want you to remember that.
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1017. Yes, sir.
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1018. Now are there any other...
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1019. questions you have for me?
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1020. Birds and the bees?
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1021. Morning woods, peckers,
anything that you wanna discuss
Copy !req
1022. or ask me about?
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1023. Well, there is one thing
Copy !req
1024. that I'm still curious about.
Copy !req
1025. Are we still doing
that hotel thing?
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1026. Yes, my son.
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1027. We are now officially hoteliers.
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1028. Oh, Grandad said yes?
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1029. Course he did.
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1030. He knew he couldn't stand
in my way.
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1031. Yeah, your granddaddy ain't half
the shitkicker he used to be.
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1032. Mercy, I guess he does do
whatever he wants.
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1033. Okay, bye.
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1034. You have terrific tits.
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1035. Thanks
for the cheese enchiladas.
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1036. Cue ball, scratch
in a corner pocket.
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1037. Bet you two queefs haven't
seen action like that in years.
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1038. Next time,
keep the comments to yourself.
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1039. We don't want any trouble,
friend.
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1040. You made your point.
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1041. That's what I thought, bitch!
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1042. Don't wanna run your mouth, huh?
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1043. How dare you talk to us like
that, you big old slab of meat.
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1044. - Come on, Junior.
- No.
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1045. No, you don't know
who you're messing with.
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1046. Jesus.
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1047. We're from fucking Memphis,
asshole.
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1048. We stuff twinks like you
full of rocks
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1049. and sink you
in the Missi-fucking-ssippi.
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1050. You know, you're lucky...
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1051. I don't murder you
right fucking now.
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1052. Or send
some of my badass friends
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1053. to go do it... find
your fucking house,
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1054. slay your whole fucking family.
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1055. How 'bout that, asshole?
Copy !req
1056. - Come on, Junior.
- Yeah.
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1057. That's what I'm gonna do.
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1058. I'ma take a photograph
of your license plate
Copy !req
1059. with my telephone,
send it to my friends,
Copy !req
1060. who will get your address
from the DMV, come to your house
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1061. and fuck you up,
you motherfucker!
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1062. Oh!
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1063. Junior!
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1064. Oh, my God.
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1065. Junior!
Junior!
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1066. Hope you're wearing
your diapers, old man.
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1067. - Oh, come on.
- You didn't have to do that.
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1068. Stay down there and drool,
doggy.
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1069. Oh, man.
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1070. Ooh, whee!
Copy !req
1071. Finish him off, Maniac.
Copy !req
1072. Take him down.
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1073. Yeah!
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1074. Yeah! Do it again!
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1075. - Oh, stop, stop, stop!
- Please!
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1076. - Please, please, please!
- Oh, yeah.
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1077. - There we go!
- Stop! No, no, no, no!
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1078. - Please!
- Ladies and gentlemen,
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1079. the Maniac Kid!
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1080. Come on, Maniac!
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1081. Stop it!
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1082. Please!
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1083. Do it!
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1084. Yeah!
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1085. Yeah!
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1086. Mofo.
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1087. That hurt.
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1088. Let's go.
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