1. Oh,
take a look at this crowd, Eli.
Copy !req
2. I do believe it is
the best-lookin' buncha friends
Copy !req
3. - we've spent time with yet!
- She married me,
Copy !req
4. so you know her taste
is in question.
Copy !req
5. - Oh, stop it right now!
- Ow!
Copy !req
6. Your mama kept everybody
gettin' along,
Copy !req
7. kept everybody on track.
Copy !req
8. Well, I've had about enough.
Copy !req
9. Maybe Johnny Seasons
was right.
Copy !req
10. Maybe this family
has become an abomination.
Copy !req
11. Your kids are worried about you,
Eli. I'm worried about you.
Copy !req
12. Oh, you come into town
and instantly try to turn
Copy !req
13. my family against me?
You're a two-bit con man.
Copy !req
14. Daddy, the only reason
we talked to Baby Billy
Copy !req
15. was out of concern for you.
Copy !req
16. Yeah, nobody wants
to see you sad, Daddy.
Copy !req
17. Mama always taught us we should
never turn our back on family.
Copy !req
18. - Testing.
- One, two, three.
Copy !req
19. Thank you, Joseph.
Copy !req
20. Mm, you look good today.
Copy !req
21. As opposed
to every other day.
Copy !req
22. You look good every day.
Copy !req
23. You have to if you wanna stand
next to me.
Copy !req
24. 'Cause you're such
a hot piece of tail, huh?
Copy !req
25. Oh, baby, I'm sizzling hot.
Copy !req
26. Places, everybody!
Copy !req
27. - Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum.
- 27 till showtime.
Copy !req
28. Ten, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four...
Copy !req
29. - Eli?
- Yes, my love?
Copy !req
30. I'm pregnant.
Copy !req
31. Say what?
Copy !req
32. Oh, this corn is special.
Copy !req
33. Judy, stop stabbing my legs.
Copy !req
34. I'm not stabbing your legs.
Copy !req
35. Do it again,
and see if I don't punch you
Copy !req
36. in the damn stomach.
Copy !req
37. Y'all keep your knives
on the table.
Copy !req
38. We got some news to share.
Copy !req
39. What, Judy's finally being
put up for adoption?
Copy !req
40. Jesse caught AIDS?
Copy !req
41. Enough.
Copy !req
42. I'm pregnant.
Copy !req
43. We're bringing a new little
life into this world.
Copy !req
44. Say what?
Copy !req
45. Why are y'all
trying to do that?
Copy !req
46. You're old.
Copy !req
47. You don't need to be having
more kids.
Copy !req
48. - It is unexpected.
- That's for sure.
Copy !req
49. But if it's His will,
His will it shall be.
Copy !req
50. I hope it's a boy.
Copy !req
51. Then I can teach him
how to pee standing up.
Copy !req
52. - I don't.
- I hope y'all don't have it.
Copy !req
53. Matter of fact,
I hope something happens.
Copy !req
54. Not where Mom gets hurt
or anything,
Copy !req
55. but just that it ends up being
a mistake and it's, like,
Copy !req
56. diarrhea or something.
Copy !req
57. That's what I hope—not a baby.
Copy !req
58. Well, maybe once you meet
this little angel person,
Copy !req
59. you'll change your mind.
Copy !req
60. - No, I won't.
- I will never like them.
Copy !req
61. They will never be my friend.
Copy !req
62. - Ow!
- Knock it off.
Copy !req
63. Now, we all have to pitch in
these next few months.
Copy !req
64. Can you do that?
Copy !req
65. You know, act as special
helpers around the house?
Copy !req
66. Can't y'all just hire
some poor people?
Copy !req
67. No, baby.
Copy !req
68. I'd be delighted to assist.
Copy !req
69. - Thank you, Judy.
- Jesse?
Copy !req
70. We'll see how it goes.
Copy !req
71. I ain't making any promises.
Copy !req
72. - That went well.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
73. Don't look now.
Copy !req
74. - Ready?
- Ready now?
Copy !req
75. You ready?
Copy !req
76. Ha!
Copy !req
77. Let me tell you what,
people are getting excited.
Copy !req
78. Look at this.
Baby B and Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
79. I don't know about you,
Copy !req
80. but my phone keeps ringing
off the hook.
Copy !req
81. Everybody wants to see
Aimee-Leigh and Baby Billy
Copy !req
82. come back for one more tour.
Copy !req
83. You two talking telepathically
to one another?
Copy !req
84. Baby Billy, we have some news
we wanna share with you.
Copy !req
85. Good.
Copy !req
86. As long as it ain't bad news.
Copy !req
87. Oh, no, it is not bad at all.
Copy !req
88. It is wonderful, in fact.
Copy !req
89. God has blessed us
with another child.
Copy !req
90. And I'm due in July.
Copy !req
91. We gonna be on tour in July.
Copy !req
92. Baby Billy,
I can't go on tour.
Copy !req
93. I'm having a baby.
Copy !req
94. Well, we can't cancel
this tour, Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
95. I mean,
what are you talking about?
Copy !req
96. We have people counting on us.
Copy !req
97. Well, we're just gonna
have to disappoint 'em.
Copy !req
98. Some things are just
beyond our control.
Copy !req
99. What do you mean,
"beyond our control"?
Copy !req
100. You're the one who splashed
all that sperm all over her.
Copy !req
101. I mean, this is
a medical impossibility.
Copy !req
102. I mean, how did this
even happen, Aimee-Leigh?
Copy !req
103. You're well into your forties.
Copy !req
104. Haven't you ovulated
all your eggs out by now?
Copy !req
105. You know what?
Copy !req
106. You better stop that talk
right now.
Copy !req
107. - You need to stop.
- You need to stop.
Copy !req
108. - No, you stop.
- You need to stop.
Copy !req
109. You are this close
to backsliding, Billy,
Copy !req
110. and you know it.
Copy !req
111. The reality is,
is that is part of the blessing
Copy !req
112. of this whole thing.
Copy !req
113. We're like
Abraham and Sarah.
Copy !req
114. This is a gosh-darn miracle,
and—
Copy !req
115. Shh.
Copy !req
116. Lord, forgive me
my harsh language.
Copy !req
117. Forgive me
my harsh language, baby.
Copy !req
118. I am hormonal.
Copy !req
119. I am hormonal, Baby Billy.
Copy !req
120. All I'm trying to say—
- What?
Copy !req
121. All—all I'm trying to say
Copy !req
122. is that you're gonna have
a miracle niece
Copy !req
123. or a miracle nephew.
Copy !req
124. Can't you get excited
about that and be happy for us?
Copy !req
125. Yes, Aimee-Leigh,
I'm happy for you.
Copy !req
126. I'm so happy, so overflowed
with joyful thoughts.
Copy !req
127. I'm just—I'm just thinking
about our business obligations.
Copy !req
128. That's all.
Copy !req
129. My wife's not going out on
tour while she's with child.
Copy !req
130. It's not happening.
Copy !req
131. Well,
ain't this a son of a bitch?
Copy !req
132. I mean the situation,
Copy !req
133. not the baby that's
in your uterus.
Copy !req
134. Can't we just postpone
the tour, you know,
Copy !req
135. till after the birth?
Copy !req
136. Just change the date
on the poster?
Copy !req
137. Right there.
Boom, oom.
Copy !req
138. Just like that.
It's gone.
Copy !req
139. I think it's best just to put
a pin in it for now.
Copy !req
140. I wasn't asking you.
Copy !req
141. I'm asking my sister.
Copy !req
142. Billy, I think it's just best
Copy !req
143. if I focus on this
for right now.
Copy !req
144. Classic, Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
145. You got yours.
Copy !req
146. Life is beautiful.
Copy !req
147. Billy.
Copy !req
148. That's all right, no,
because, uh, I am happy.
Copy !req
149. No, it's good.
Copy !req
150. Everything's fine.
Copy !req
151. I'm just happy that Jesus
continues to bless you
Copy !req
152. with so many wonderful things.
Copy !req
153. I can't wait for the invitation
to the shower.
Copy !req
154. I can't wait.
Copy !req
155. - Get him!
- Yeah! Get him!
Copy !req
156. - DDT his ass.
- You got him, Dick.
Copy !req
157. Good punch.
Copy !req
158. What are you doing, man?
Copy !req
159. Come on!
Get in there!
Copy !req
160. - I'm tired, Jesse.
- Give me a juice box!
Copy !req
161. - Oh, come on, honey.
- Kick him.
Copy !req
162. - Hey, that's enough!
- That's enough!
Copy !req
163. Fight's over!
Copy !req
164. Hey, preacher's boy.
Copy !req
165. You starting some shit again?
Copy !req
166. You wanna smell
my finger, motherfucker?
Copy !req
167. What'd you say,
you little punk?
Copy !req
168. Hey, get back here!
Copy !req
169. Arranging fights?
Copy !req
170. What kind of garbage is that?
Copy !req
171. Is that how we raised you?
Copy !req
172. Be some gangster wannabe?
Copy !req
173. It was just some tag team
smack down.
Copy !req
174. Everybody was having
a good time.
Copy !req
175. By forcing little kids
to fight each other for money?
Copy !req
176. Sounds like a blast.
Copy !req
177. Jesse, what is going on, son?
Copy !req
178. You all know.
Copy !req
179. Enlighten us.
Copy !req
180. Look, I ain't trying to have
new people in this family.
Copy !req
181. And you all work
all the damn time anyway—
Copy !req
182. never around.
Copy !req
183. Now you're gonna
have another kid
Copy !req
184. that takes up
the rest of y'all's time?
Copy !req
185. You think we don't have
enough time for you?
Copy !req
186. - I know you don't.
- All y'all care about is work.
Copy !req
187. You mean the thing that
puts a roof over your head,
Copy !req
188. food in your belly?
Copy !req
189. What do you
want us to do, Jesse?
Copy !req
190. Just hope God sends down
some chicken McDonald's
Copy !req
191. from the heavens?
Copy !req
192. Judy, go upstairs, hon.
Copy !req
193. I like watching Jesse
get in trouble.
Copy !req
194. It makes my bird twitch.
Copy !req
195. - Eww, Judy!
- Get out of here.
Copy !req
196. What the hell is a bird?
Copy !req
197. Oh, is she talking
about her privates?
Copy !req
198. It is my privates.
Copy !req
199. Get upstairs, Judy!
Copy !req
200. Sweet boy.
Copy !req
201. You already have
such a different childhood
Copy !req
202. than either of us had
Copy !req
203. with both parents
working every day,
Copy !req
204. but we've been called
to serve the Lord,
Copy !req
205. and that does take
a lot out of us.
Copy !req
206. It's our duty to give him
everything that we have.
Copy !req
207. Now, you understand that,
Jesse?
Copy !req
208. Yeah, I understand.
Copy !req
209. But maybe,
Copy !req
210. just maybe,
Copy !req
211. we need to make sure
we give you
Copy !req
212. everything we have too.
Copy !req
213. Sweetie, having another child
ain't gonna make us love you
Copy !req
214. any less.
Copy !req
215. You know that?
Copy !req
216. Hug your daddy.
Copy !req
217. I love you.
No more fights.
Copy !req
218. Remember what I said about
everybody pulling their weight?
Copy !req
219. Family has to stick together.
Copy !req
220. You understand?
Copy !req
221. - Yes, sir.
- I understand.
Copy !req
222. Oh, it is so beautiful.
Copy !req
223. But do you really think
it's the right time?
Copy !req
224. Now that we're adding one
more Gemstone to the clan,
Copy !req
225. I think it makes sense
to expand—
Copy !req
226. give us some real room
to spread out.
Copy !req
227. It is a beautiful plot
of land.
Copy !req
228. Build a house for each one
of the kids—
Copy !req
229. have them around us
for the rest of our lives.
Copy !req
230. You really want that?
Copy !req
231. No.
Copy !req
232. I thought you did.
Copy !req
233. No!
Copy !req
234. No.
Copy !req
235. Oh, Eli,
it is incredible.
Copy !req
236. Maybe build
our own amusement park
Copy !req
237. with our own roller coasters.
Copy !req
238. You are getting
out of hand now.
Copy !req
239. We have already been
so blessed.
Copy !req
240. Well, we work hard,
Copy !req
241. and there's much more
blessings to come.
Copy !req
242. You think I'm being
a bad sister to Baby Billy?
Copy !req
243. Think I should just
push through and do the tour?
Copy !req
244. Whatever you wanna do,
I'll support you,
Copy !req
245. but if you want
my honest opinion,
Copy !req
246. I don't think you owe
that man a thing.
Copy !req
247. You saw how he acted
when you told him the news.
Copy !req
248. He only cared
how it affected him.
Copy !req
249. I think he was just really
looking forward to the tour.
Copy !req
250. Looking forward
to making money.
Copy !req
251. Hm.
Copy !req
252. Between all those divorces,
Copy !req
253. he's gotta be burning
through cash.
Copy !req
254. Now, we're building
an empire together here.
Copy !req
255. We need to focus on us now,
our family.
Copy !req
256. - Our family.
- Ooh.
Copy !req
257. - Look at you.
- There you are, Daddy.
Copy !req
258. - Look at you.
- What a dude.
Copy !req
259. I look like a hippie?
Copy !req
260. Oh, you look beautiful.
Copy !req
261. To me.
Copy !req
262. - So do you, baby.
- Aww.
Copy !req
263. Ms. Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
264. Yup, his and her
roller coasters.
Copy !req
265. Happy birthday, Judy.
Copy !req
266. Ugh.
Copy !req
267. - This is a Travel Barbie.
- She comes with an RV and—
Copy !req
268. Ah!
Copy !req
269. Terrible gift, Laurel.
Copy !req
270. I already have three of them.
Copy !req
271. Next!
Who's next?
Copy !req
272. Next gift for me?
Copy !req
273. This better be good.
Copy !req
274. It better not be another RV.
Copy !req
275. Some party you got here.
Copy !req
276. When your little girl ask you
for a pony ride
Copy !req
277. and a bouncy house,
what can you do?
Copy !req
278. - You can say no.
- Who's next?
Copy !req
279. You never got any
of that when you was a boy.
Copy !req
280. You got a piece of cornbread
cake and a used toy,
Copy !req
281. and if you were
really good,
Copy !req
282. you got the day off
from chores.
Copy !req
283. Those were different times,
Daddy.
Copy !req
284. Yeah, but some things
don't change.
Copy !req
285. Maybe that wife of yours
sees things different,
Copy !req
286. but is this what you spend
the church's money on?
Copy !req
287. Fancy parties?
Copy !req
288. Come on, Daddy.
Copy !req
289. You know that's not how
we operate.
Copy !req
290. All a preacher needs is
four walls, some willing souls,
Copy !req
291. and the Good Book.
Copy !req
292. All this excess is obscene!
Copy !req
293. Hey, happy birthday,
princess!
Copy !req
294. Holy shit!
Copy !req
295. Hey, we're going crazy, huh?
Copy !req
296. Sidle on up
to the birthday girl.
Copy !req
297. Let's go right here.
She's having a birthday.
Copy !req
298. This right here.
Copy !req
299. This is from me to you,
Judy—
Copy !req
300. from me to you.
Copy !req
301. Don't hit that—don't hit this.
Copy !req
302. Hold on, Harmon.
Don't hurt nobody now.
Copy !req
303. Hey!
Happy birthday, princess.
Copy !req
304. Uncle Baby Billy,
you brought me a gift too?
Copy !req
305. Only the most expensive gift
in the entire land.
Copy !req
306. Come right over here now.
Look at that.
Copy !req
307. That's true love
right there now.
Copy !req
308. Whoo!
Huh?
Copy !req
309. Baby Billy, what is all this?
Copy !req
310. That's a pink Corvette's
what it is.
Copy !req
311. Look at that thing.
Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
312. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
313. It's the best gift I've ever
gotten in my entire life!
Copy !req
314. - No, I'm sorry, Judy.
- You cannot accept it.
Copy !req
315. - What?
- Why?
Copy !req
316. Come on, Eli.
Copy !req
317. Don't ruin a girl's
birthday party.
Copy !req
318. - It's too big.
- It's too much.
Copy !req
319. Not trying to spoil our kids—
Copy !req
320. that's a firm house rule.
Copy !req
321. Daddy, who cares
if I'm spoiled?
Copy !req
322. Are you gonna say something,
Aimee-Leigh?
Copy !req
323. Are you just gonna stand there
like a deer in headlights?
Copy !req
324. Oh, Daddy,
this was the best gift ever.
Copy !req
325. You don't know that yet
'cause you got one more.
Copy !req
326. There, sweetie.
Happy birthday.
Copy !req
327. Just some kind of trinket
or something.
Copy !req
328. And when you open it,
Copy !req
329. it has a picture
of my mommy and my daddy.
Copy !req
330. Cool.
Copy !req
331. Well, all right,
who wants cake?
Copy !req
332. - Yeah.
- Honey, come get some cake.
Copy !req
333. Let's go.
Copy !req
334. Excuse me, pony.
Copy !req
335. What's up, cool breeze?
Copy !req
336. Heard you ain't too happy
about this kid coming either.
Copy !req
337. Yeah, I ain't gonna let it
get me down, though.
Copy !req
338. I got plans—
strategies I might pull off.
Copy !req
339. Strategies?
Copy !req
340. Yeah, run away,
Copy !req
341. join WWF,
become a bad guy.
Copy !req
342. Well, that's an option.
Copy !req
343. I got a couple cold beers
in my pocket now.
Copy !req
344. You want one?
Copy !req
345. Won't I get in trouble?
Copy !req
346. Not if nobody don't find out.
Copy !req
347. Let me see that Pepsi can.
Copy !req
348. Now, come on over here.
Copy !req
349. Give this to old
Baby Billy.
Copy !req
350. This right here is
the silver bullet
Copy !req
351. all the way
from Colorado.
Copy !req
352. Kids in France—
they drink all the time.
Copy !req
353. But America got it backwards.
Copy !req
354. Fine to show violence on TV,
Copy !req
355. but if somebody's backside
or a...
Copy !req
356. A woman's beautiful
set of titties,
Copy !req
357. well, you can't show now.
Copy !req
358. Cheers.
Copy !req
359. Yeah.
Copy !req
360. Mm.
Copy !req
361. Ain't nothing wrong with you
having a little drink.
Copy !req
362. Your daddy must be a tough man
to live with.
Copy !req
363. He is.
Copy !req
364. Yeah, well...
Copy !req
365. it's only gonna get worse when
this other kid shows up—
Copy !req
366. him stressed out all the time,
cussing, yelling at everybody.
Copy !req
367. Ooh-ooh, I don't envy you now.
Copy !req
368. - Great.
- Listen to me.
Copy !req
369. I need to shut the fuck up is
what I need to do.
Copy !req
370. Here you are drinking beer
and I'm speaking truth.
Copy !req
371. I mean, you liable
to get the courage
Copy !req
372. to do something now.
Copy !req
373. Like what?
Copy !req
374. Mm, make him look
like a fool.
Copy !req
375. When I was a kid,
your age,
Copy !req
376. I used to get so mad
at my daddy.
Copy !req
377. I'd get so mad at him.
Copy !req
378. Wait till he got around
his friends,
Copy !req
379. I'd start mouthing off,
make him look like an idiot,
Copy !req
380. like, just a stupid fool
is what I did.
Copy !req
381. That's just me now.
Copy !req
382. You know what,
Uncle Baby Billy?
Copy !req
383. That's a good idea.
Copy !req
384. You want a little more
cold beer?
Copy !req
385. Yeah.
Copy !req
386. Sitting next to this pond,
it's like a beach party now.
Copy !req
387. Go on. Yeah.
Copy !req
388. Tilt it back.
Shotgun it now.
Copy !req
389. Get on in there.
Copy !req
390. That's the Satan juice
right there.
Copy !req
391. Jesse James
and Billy the Kid now.
Copy !req
392. Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
393. Hey, Eli Gemstone!
Copy !req
394. Jesse?
Copy !req
395. I really don't wanna have
another sibling.
Copy !req
396. And if you all do
have this kid,
Copy !req
397. and if it ends up being a kid
that's for real,
Copy !req
398. like, a real one...
Copy !req
399. then guess what?
Copy !req
400. Have you been drinking?
Copy !req
401. Don't interrupt me.
Copy !req
402. Let me say, I will
never be nice to this kid,
Copy !req
403. and if you all do have
this kid,
Copy !req
404. I will make sure that
its life is so dumb
Copy !req
405. that every time
y'all turn y'all's backs,
Copy !req
406. I'll pee in its face!
Copy !req
407. That's right, everybody.
Copy !req
408. I'm Jesse Gemstone,
Eli Gemstone's son.
Copy !req
409. I'm about to throw up.
Copy !req
410. Jesse!
Copy !req
411. You ruined my birthday!
Copy !req
412. You poor thing.
Copy !req
413. You don't feel so hot now,
huh?
Copy !req
414. Is Jesse an alcoholic?
Copy !req
415. Will he be homeless?
Copy !req
416. - No, Judy.
- Go play with your things.
Copy !req
417. Where'd you get the hooch?
Copy !req
418. Uncle Baby Billy.
Copy !req
419. Good old Baby Billy.
Copy !req
420. You wanna take care of this,
or should I?
Copy !req
421. Watch the ball now,
just like your daddy.
Copy !req
422. Here it comes.
Here it comes now.
Copy !req
423. Go on.
Copy !req
424. - It's all right, son.
- Just relax.
Copy !req
425. Blue, 21. Blue, 21.
Copy !req
426. Set, hut.
Go on.
Copy !req
427. Go on.
Copy !req
428. - Hey, hey.
- Hey, Gloria.
Copy !req
429. Well, well, well, if it ain't
my long-lost sister.
Copy !req
430. What do I owe
this special honor?
Copy !req
431. Hey, Harmon.
Copy !req
432. Meep-meep.
Copy !req
433. Harmon, why don't you
stay outside
Copy !req
434. and practice your drills,
all right?
Copy !req
435. Daddy's gonna go inside.
Copy !req
436. Go long!
Go on.
Copy !req
437. Get it!
Copy !req
438. - Get it!
- Sike!
Copy !req
439. So, Eli's ticked off.
Copy !req
440. What else is new
in the wide world of sports?
Copy !req
441. He has every right to be mad
after what you did.
Copy !req
442. Oh, what did I do, huh?
Copy !req
443. I gave my nephew a beer.
Copy !req
444. Or does that make me the...
Copy !req
445. Worst person in the world, huh?
Copy !req
446. I guess I'm evil, right?
Worse than Satan.
Copy !req
447. Here it is.
Satan incarnate.
Copy !req
448. It's not about the alcohol,
Billy, and you know it.
Copy !req
449. Look, I am happy.
Copy !req
450. I'm happy for you,
Aimee-Leigh,
Copy !req
451. that you are having
a new baby,
Copy !req
452. but damn it, I had a lot
riding on this tour.
Copy !req
453. Now, I've got debts to pay.
Copy !req
454. I've had three divorces,
Aimee-Leigh,
Copy !req
455. and every single one of them
have cut my ass in half.
Copy !req
456. Let's just push it
just a few years
Copy !req
457. till the baby's not so tiny.
Copy !req
458. Our fan base is
rapidly aging, Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
459. We got the blue-haired crowd.
Copy !req
460. Now, they will not
last forever.
Copy !req
461. Oh, they'll make it
a few more years more—
Copy !req
462. They ain't gonna make it
a few more years.
Copy !req
463. They're done, Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
464. The average fan of Baby Billy
and Aimee-Leigh
Copy !req
465. is 68 years old.
Copy !req
466. I checked.
Copy !req
467. A fucking geriatric's
what they are—
Copy !req
468. a goddamn nursing home crowd.
Copy !req
469. You wanna do
a nursing home tour?
Copy !req
470. Let's do it.
Let's wheel everybody out.
Copy !req
471. Come see Aimee-Leigh
and Baby Billy one more time
Copy !req
472. in a fucking nursing home.
Copy !req
473. You know,
this was supposed to be
Copy !req
474. our last squeeze of the lemon,
Copy !req
475. just the last little bite
of the apple, you and me,
Copy !req
476. together one more time.
Copy !req
477. Can't we do something else?
Copy !req
478. Please?
Copy !req
479. Look, I'm begging you now.
Copy !req
480. Give me three months.
Copy !req
481. We can start the tour
in late spring.
Copy !req
482. I'll have you done
'fore the summer's through.
Copy !req
483. Please.
Copy !req
484. As your little
beautiful baby brother,
Copy !req
485. I'm asking you,
I'm begging you
Copy !req
486. with the bottom of my heart.
Copy !req
487. Please.
Copy !req
488. Billy...
Copy !req
489. It's just not an option, baby.
Copy !req
490. Fine.
Copy !req
491. Well, then, I'ma have to start
selling off parcels of land
Copy !req
492. 'cause that's the only way
this whole thing's gonna work.
Copy !req
493. - I need the cash.
- No.
Copy !req
494. No, you can't do that.
Copy !req
495. You cannot do that, Billy.
This is our home.
Copy !req
496. - Our home?
- Yes, our home.
Copy !req
497. You don't live here.
Copy !req
498. Mama and Daddy left it
in my name—
Copy !req
499. my name,
Baby Billy Freeman.
Copy !req
500. - This is my house.
- Yeah, you're right.
Copy !req
501. They did leave it
in your name,
Copy !req
502. and you know what?
Copy !req
503. You promised them
that you would never sell it.
Copy !req
504. Freemans have lived on this
land for over 200 years.
Copy !req
505. And one selfish woman made
the whole thing go away.
Copy !req
506. This right here?
This is on you, darling.
Copy !req
507. It's on you.
Copy !req
508. Okay, well,
then how about this?
Copy !req
509. How about this?
Copy !req
510. If you sell it,
Eli and I will just buy it,
Copy !req
511. and then it can stay
in the family...
Copy !req
512. Oh, so now you gonna wrastle
Copy !req
513. Freeman's Gap
away from me, huh?
Copy !req
514. So then it doesn't go
to a stranger.
Copy !req
515. This is all I have!
Copy !req
516. It'll stay in the family,
and you'll get your money.
Copy !req
517. This right here,
this is all—
Copy !req
518. Just like you want
before you sell—
Copy !req
519. - This is all I have.
- This is it right here.
Copy !req
520. Before you sell it off
to a stranger!
Copy !req
521. Mama and Daddy left it
to me...
Copy !req
522. A stranger sleeping
in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom!
Copy !req
523. Because you already have
a rich life!
Copy !req
524. You are being so difficult!
Copy !req
525. This is not what Mama and Daddy
would've wanted...
Copy !req
526. No, it's not what Mama
and Daddy would've wanted.
Copy !req
527. They would've wanted us
to keep working together,
Copy !req
528. to keep sharing our unique
gifts with the world.
Copy !req
529. But life shakes out
different sometimes, don't it?
Copy !req
530. Now Mama and Daddy are dead
and in the ground,
Copy !req
531. and you broke us up to start
a new career
Copy !req
532. with your new husband,
and look at you, huh?
Copy !req
533. You're rich and famous,
Copy !req
534. and I'm broke...
Copy !req
535. and nobody.
Copy !req
536. I'm nobody!
Copy !req
537. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
538. Probably gonna have to pull
Harmon out of school again.
Copy !req
539. Fine.
Copy !req
540. Fine.
Copy !req
541. I'll do the tour, Billy.
Copy !req
542. I'll do it, just...
Copy !req
543. squeeze it in before
the middle of May.
Copy !req
544. I'll do it.
Copy !req
545. Done, then.
Copy !req
546. And then you don't have
to sell Mama and Daddy's place.
Copy !req
547. I don't wanna sell it either,
Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
548. And I won't have to
if we do this.
Copy !req
549. Right.
Copy !req
550. - How you feeling, sweetheart?
- Just fine.
Copy !req
551. No morning sickness
or nothing.
Copy !req
552. My wife, the tank...
Copy !req
553. Never call a pregnant woman
a tank, Eli.
Copy !req
554. Unless I wanna get blasted.
Copy !req
555. Oh, I'm spinning gold
this morning.
Copy !req
556. I better save some
for the broadcast.
Copy !req
557. You better be saving the good
jokes for the broadcast.
Copy !req
558. That was not ready
for primetime.
Copy !req
559. Good thing we're on
in the morning.
Copy !req
560. Thank you.
Copy !req
561. You're welcome.
Copy !req
562. So I talked to my brother.
Copy !req
563. I hope you gave him a piece
of your mind for me too.
Copy !req
564. Was he even apologetic?
Copy !req
565. He felt terrible.
Copy !req
566. He's not doing well, Eli.
Copy !req
567. I'm worried about him.
Copy !req
568. He's in real bad shape
financially.
Copy !req
569. I'm sure he is—
Copy !req
570. a lifetime of poor decisions
will do that to you.
Copy !req
571. I'm doing the tour, Eli.
Copy !req
572. It's only for three months.
Copy !req
573. I thought we talked about this.
Copy !req
574. We did,
Copy !req
575. but Baby Billy needs this.
Copy !req
576. He's broke.
Copy !req
577. He's talking about selling off
parcels of land
Copy !req
578. in Freeman's Gap.
Copy !req
579. This tour's a way he can make
some money for himself.
Copy !req
580. Funny how he needs you
to make money for himself.
Copy !req
581. Even so, he's my brother,
and I love him.
Copy !req
582. I'm gonna do it, Eli.
Copy !req
583. I think it's sweet that you
care so much for your brother.
Copy !req
584. Too bad he doesn't
return the favor.
Copy !req
585. The son of a bitch only cares
about himself.
Copy !req
586. Now, folks,
it makes my heart sing
Copy !req
587. to share this next bit
of good news with you.
Copy !req
588. It ain't the gospel, Eli,
but it is the good news.
Copy !req
589. Sitting right here is my
beloved baby brother.
Copy !req
590. - Hey, y'all. Just...
- Yeah.
Copy !req
591. Silly Baby Billy.
Copy !req
592. Baby Billy!
Copy !req
593. - I have to tell you.
- When we were kids, Billy...
Copy !req
594. - Yeah?
- Did we cut up or what?
Copy !req
595. Oh, well, we—
well, we cut up,
Copy !req
596. but we tore it up
is what we did.
Copy !req
597. We tore it up.
Copy !req
598. - We threw it away.
- All of us.
Copy !req
599. - And you know what?
- What?
Copy !req
600. We gonna do it again,
aren't we?
Copy !req
601. - You bet we are.
- You bet.
Copy !req
602. My dear sister and I
are kicking off
Copy !req
603. a special reunion tour.
Copy !req
604. Hallelujah!
Copy !req
605. - Just like that.
- And I cannot wait.
Copy !req
606. Three months of shows where
you can see this wonderful duo
Copy !req
607. that the Lord intended
to be together
Copy !req
608. to bring forth His
name in—in song and dance.
Copy !req
609. Do y'all wanna see
a sneak peek?
Copy !req
610. Oh—
Copy !req
611. I think we gotta go
to a commercial real quick.
Copy !req
612. Oh, I don't think we gonna
take a break yet
Copy !req
613. 'cause guess what—
I wore my clogging shoes.
Copy !req
614. Oh!
Copy !req
615. - I got my dancing shoes!
- Gonna tell ya.
Copy !req
616. Getting down to God's
business here.
Copy !req
617. Let's do it.
Copy !req
618. Oh, uh...
Copy !req
619. I think Eli needs to take
a commercial break.
Copy !req
620. Oh!
Copy !req
621. Just leave the dancing
to us, Eli.
Copy !req
622. Come on, now.
Copy !req
623. Rest of us, we gonna sing,
and we gonna dance!
Copy !req
624. Hallelujah!
Copy !req
625. Whoo!
Copy !req
626. Whoo!
Copy !req
627. Whoo!
Copy !req
628. - What do you think of that?
- Amen! Oh...
Copy !req
629. Baby Billy Freeman.
Copy !req
630. Baby Billy Freeman
and Aimee-Leigh Gemstone.
Copy !req
631. Here's the thing.
Johnny Cash? June Carter?
Copy !req
632. Ain't got nothing on us,
baby.
Copy !req
633. They can't clog.
Copy !req
634. I mean, after what happened
on that stage?
Copy !req
635. My whole body is vibrating.
Copy !req
636. "Now, honestly,
that might be the best show
Copy !req
637. y'all have ever done."
Copy !req
638. That's what Harmon said.
Copy !req
639. Ain't that right, Harmon?
Copy !req
640. Yeah.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Copy !req
641. What about Jesse?
Copy !req
642. You think that was the best
show we ever did right here?
Copy !req
643. - Absolutely.
- Give me an E.T. right here.
Copy !req
644. Uh-huh.
"Phone home."
Copy !req
645. Everybody phone home.
Copy !req
646. Judy, I know what you think.
Copy !req
647. - You already my favorite.
- I know.
Copy !req
648. I mean, you a Gemstone,
Copy !req
649. but you kinda look like
a Freeman to me.
Copy !req
650. Let's talk tour now.
Copy !req
651. We hitting Raleigh,
North Myrtle,
Copy !req
652. Charleston, Birmingham...
Copy !req
653. - Yes.
- Memphis, Little Rock.
Copy !req
654. Oh!
Copy !req
655. Guess where we gonna
finish this thing off?
Copy !req
656. - Where?
- Branson.
Copy !req
657. Hallelujah!
Copy !req
658. Now don't get jealous, Eli.
Copy !req
659. I'll give her back to you
when I get done now, huh?
Copy !req
660. - He's worried.
- I'm fine.
Copy !req
661. Hey, I don't think he's
worried—he ain't worried.
Copy !req
662. We gonna clean house
on this thing, Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
663. I mean, and we gonna bring
so much joy.
Copy !req
664. So much—you saw all them
smiling faces tonight.
Copy !req
665. - I did.
- What we did on that stage?
Copy !req
666. That's just a—a little taste
Copy !req
667. for our faithful fans
and followers.
Copy !req
668. And we gonna make a mint.
Copy !req
669. That ought to make you happy.
We gonna make a mint.
Copy !req
670. We gonna make so much money.
Copy !req
671. Harmon already said,
"Daddy, what am I gonna get?"
Copy !req
672. And I said
a closet full of gems
Copy !req
673. 'cause he's a clothes horse
like his daddy,
Copy !req
674. is what he is.
Copy !req
675. Harmon, stop picking your nose,
son.
Copy !req
676. - So sweet.
- Let me tell you something else.
Copy !req
677. I am just so thrilled that
we'll also be able to keep
Copy !req
678. the family home place intact,
Copy !req
679. just like Mama and Daddy
would've wanted.
Copy !req
680. Well, almost intact.
Copy !req
681. - I'm sorry.
- What?
Copy !req
682. Well, there's the 12 acres
I sold to the city.
Copy !req
683. Ten acres to Bubba Castwell—
Copy !req
684. you know, that area over there
adjacent his land.
Copy !req
685. You already sold
over 20 acres?
Copy !req
686. Mm, but all the acres
Copy !req
687. around Mama and Daddy's
original cabin,
Copy !req
688. that's all mine.
Copy !req
689. And then the—the brick house,
I got that.
Copy !req
690. Baby Billy, you promised me.
Copy !req
691. How—how'd you even
sell all that
Copy !req
692. since the last time we talked?
Copy !req
693. Oh, darling.
Copy !req
694. Oh.
Copy !req
695. No, I think maybe
you misunderstood now.
Copy !req
696. I said I already sold
some parts of the land.
Copy !req
697. No, you didn't.
Copy !req
698. You said you were
thinking about it.
Copy !req
699. Now, now, hold on, now.
Copy !req
700. If I did, I'm sorry,
but I think you're mistaken.
Copy !req
701. I said that
I already sold some land.
Copy !req
702. - You lied to me, Baby Billy.
- I didn't lie to you.
Copy !req
703. Boy, you are a real
piece of work.
Copy !req
704. You just go through life
being a shithead.
Copy !req
705. Well, like Patrick Swayze
said, "opinions vary."
Copy !req
706. I got my thoughts
about you too, Eli.
Copy !req
707. - You know what, Billy?
- The tour's off.
Copy !req
708. - What?
- You can't—you can't cancel.
Copy !req
709. You already signed a contract.
Copy !req
710. - I don't care.
- I'm out.
Copy !req
711. If you out,
you better be prepared
Copy !req
712. to give me a settlement,
or you gonna get sued.
Copy !req
713. Now, the choice is yours,
darling.
Copy !req
714. Now, what you want?
Copy !req
715. I should have never
trusted you.
Copy !req
716. What you talking about?
Copy !req
717. You are bitter and angry
and pathetic.
Copy !req
718. Ain't nobody bitter here.
Copy !req
719. I ain't bitter.
I ain't pathetic.
Copy !req
720. What you talking about?
Copy !req
721. I'll give you
your settlement, Billy.
Copy !req
722. That's all you seem
to care about anyway.
Copy !req
723. All right, look, now, you
just—you need to calm down.
Copy !req
724. You being a woman right now,
all right?
Copy !req
725. You should be in two sets of—
- You know what?
Copy !req
726. Why don't you try doing
this tour without this woman?
Copy !req
727. - How about that?
- Well, okay.
Copy !req
728. - You know what?
- I've lost my appetite.
Copy !req
729. - Let's go.
- Y'all ain't got to leave now.
Copy !req
730. Come on,
you ain't got to leave.
Copy !req
731. - We're just playing around.
- Come on, kids.
Copy !req
732. Judy, put the rolls down.
Copy !req
733. Eli, you gonna leave me
with this bill?
Copy !req
734. Go on up there
and pay that bill.
Copy !req
735. Leave me and Harmon alone.
Copy !req
736. Harmon, what you
working on down there?
Copy !req
737. That's some arts and crafts?
Can I see it?
Copy !req
738. Look at that.
Copy !req
739. That is a ninja star
with a booger on it.
Copy !req
740. That's beautiful, son.
Copy !req
741. I love you.
Copy !req
742. Daddy?
Copy !req
743. I thought you were asleep.
Copy !req
744. I'm sorry about the way
I've been acting
Copy !req
745. about you and Mama
having a kid.
Copy !req
746. It's all right, Jesse.
Copy !req
747. Change takes time
to understand.
Copy !req
748. If it's a boy,
I feel like it'd be better.
Copy !req
749. Not sure if we can take
another Judy.
Copy !req
750. But you think we could use
another you?
Copy !req
751. - Exactly like me.
- Okay.
Copy !req
752. That'll be fun.
Copy !req
753. Whoever it is, you will love.
Copy !req
754. I know.
Copy !req
755. What if I don't?
Copy !req
756. Then you just have to pretend
like you do.
Copy !req
757. I could do that.
Copy !req
758. Good night, buddy.
Copy !req
759. Good night, Daddy.
Copy !req
760. Good morning, Dr. Gemstone.
Copy !req
761. - Good morning, Dr. Gemstone.
- Good morning.
Copy !req
762. Good morning, everyone.
Copy !req
763. Good morning, Dr. Gemstone.
Copy !req
764. Dr. Gemstone.
Copy !req
765. Dr. Gemstone,
Baby Billy's here.
Copy !req
766. It was you, wasn't it?
Copy !req
767. Go on, say it.
I know it was.
Copy !req
768. Did I want my pregnant wife
leaving her family
Copy !req
769. to go on the road with you?
Copy !req
770. No, sir, I did not.
Copy !req
771. But the choice was her's.
Copy !req
772. You made it easy.
Copy !req
773. I made it easy?
Copy !req
774. By showing her why she
doesn't run around with you
Copy !req
775. anymore in the first place.
Copy !req
776. That's so funny,
I almost forgot to laugh.
Copy !req
777. So tell me, Eli,
Copy !req
778. exactly why is that, huh?
Copy !req
779. Because you always wanna
stand in front of Aimee-Leigh.
Copy !req
780. What you talking about?
Copy !req
781. Aimee-Leigh and I stand
together on that stage,
Copy !req
782. side by side.
Copy !req
783. Nobody stands
behind the other one.
Copy !req
784. That's how it's
supposed to be.
Copy !req
785. Well, that's not how
it's supposed to be.
Copy !req
786. She's got a mighty
big ego, then.
Copy !req
787. You know your sister.
Copy !req
788. She makes up her own mind.
Copy !req
789. What you all had is done.
Copy !req
790. That's that.
Copy !req
791. - No, it's not done.
- She's my sister.
Copy !req
792. - She's my wife.
- She's my sister!
Copy !req
793. You know what?
You never liked me.
Copy !req
794. You never even gave me
a chance.
Copy !req
795. From the moment you came
to our first show,
Copy !req
796. you only had eyes for her.
Copy !req
797. I will never forget this, Eli.
Copy !req
798. Do what you want.
Copy !req
799. Better hope that you can
hang onto that woman forever.
Copy !req
800. Because when she's gone,
Copy !req
801. it all goes with her.
Copy !req
802. Baby, you were
in a high-speed chase,
Copy !req
803. and now that van
is in Kelvin's garage.
Copy !req
804. I told you,
we do elaborate pranks.
Copy !req
805. How is that even a prank?
Copy !req
806. - Just like a van flippin' over?
- Yeah. I just—
Copy !req
807. Look, I mean, obviously, that
wasn't that good of a prank.
Copy !req
808. Won't you come on down here
and get that van.
Copy !req
809. I wish you would.
Copy !req
810. Next time I see you,
it ain't gonna be good.
Copy !req
811. What about you, Judy?
Copy !req
812. What's your daddy
got you doing these days?
Copy !req
813. She helps
in the entire organization.
Copy !req
814. Seems strange to me
she's not front and center
Copy !req
815. like everybody else,
or maybe that's just me talkin'.
Copy !req
816. No, that's just not you talkin'.
Copy !req
817. We're doing real work here.
Why don't you go restock
Copy !req
818. the church office supplies
or somethin'?
Copy !req
819. Oh! She ripped out my hairs!
Copy !req