The Righteous Gemstones 4x2

1. Here we go, now.

2. Gemstone roll call.

3. I say, Jesse, where you at?

4. Come on, Judy-Leigh, get on out here.

5. Whoo!

6. All right, Kelvin, are you still here?

7. Yes.

8. Oh, yeah!

9. Ha.

10. The Aimee-Leigh Birthday Celebration Give-A-Thon, y'all.

11. Raising money, lifting spirits.

12. My cup spilleth over, now.

13. Happy birthday, sister.

14. Oh, Jesus Christ, can you hear us?

15. Thank you for coming out to the Aimee-Leigh Gemstone

16. birthday telethon.

17. Well, you know we couldn't leave ya

18. without one more little ditty.

19. Let's send them home.

20. Look out, now.

21. Higher, higher!

22. Shit.

23. Fuck!

24. Oh, God damn it.

25. Oh, shit!

26. Jesus Christ!

27. Oh, fuck! Oh. - Cut!

28. Cut! Cut, God damn it!

29. Oh, God.

30. This is the climax to the whole telethon.

31. - I feel unsafe, dude. - We can't be messing up...

32. - Oh, shit! - Like this on live TV!

33. - Turn it off! - Get it off me!

34. My jet pack is hissing.

35. Get it off me!

36. Whoa!

37. Ah!

38. No!

39. Get off!

40. Oh, fuck me! No, no, no, no!

41. Whoa!

42. - Oh, no. - The fucking thing is—

43. it's speeding up!

44. - Jesus Christ! Turn it off! - Oh, God!

45. Fuck my handsome white ass.

46. Y'all better learn them jet packs.

47. Y'all looking like a bunch of rank amateurs.

48. We are amateurs, asshole.

49. We ain't never done no damn jet packs before.

50. Jet packs are for authentic G.I. Joe bois.

51. These fucking fairy wings, they get caught on everything.

52. I hate this costume. It sucks.

53. Fairy wings?

54. Is that what these are?

55. No, they ain't fairy wings.

56. They angel wings, dummy.

57. Well, whoever wings they are, I'm not doing this shit.

58. The hell you ain't.

59. Y'all wearin' them jet packs.

60. Hang on. Take it off.

61. Now, where the hell is Eli?

62. We can't have no birthday celebration telethon

63. without Eli around.

64. Daddy's done checked out these days.

65. He don't show up for shit no more.

66. Well, that's disrespect to my sister.

67. I mean, the only reason we doing this whole thing

68. is to honor her.

69. And Eli can't be bothered?

70. He's just a little ol' fat little pig is what he is.

71. - Dang, Uncle Baby Billy! - Oh, God! Jeez!

72. Oh, put some damn drawers on.

73. No, y'all need to see this.

74. Behold. Look at this.

75. That's my privates right there.

76. God damn it.

77. This is what a fucking man looks like.

78. This is how I roll,

79. balls out and claws out.

80. You are literally swinging your dick around.

81. People in this family need to recognize

82. which side of the bread's got butter on it.

83. - Oh, God dang. - Oh, God damn it!

84. Now, I'm the one who booked all these people

85. to come and celebrate Aimee-Leigh,

86. a damn star-studded event.

87. Now, if Eli is a no-show,

88. this whole telethon ain't gonna feel legit.

89. Now, what you need to do is to call your daddy

90. and get his ass to come.

91. When we call our daddy, he don't pick up.

92. Yeah, we ain't talked to that fool in weeks.

93. Yeah, we think he's going through, like,

94. a midlife thing or something.

95. Midlife?

96. That motherfucker's older than me.

97. He ain't halfway through nothing.

98. - OK. - Bottom of the ninth, two out.

99. Midlife.

100. He wishes he was midlife.

101. Fuck Eli Gemstone.

102. Good morning.

103. I made you some eggs.

104. Ah, hot damn.

105. Just thought I'd get you on your way with some sunny sides.

106. I think there's a hair in my eggs, Captain.

107. I'd like to return these to the kitchen

108. and get that thick breakfast sausage instead.

109. Rise and shine.

110. Well, I'm out of shine, I think.

111. I'm definitely out of rise.

112. Why you getting all cold fish on me?

113. You married or something?

114. Oh, I ain't married.

115. I just—I thought we should talk about some things.

116. Uh-oh.

117. We have fun.

118. I like hanging out with you.

119. I'm just—it seems like you're wanting more,

120. like spending the night and such.

121. I just ain't there.

122. And you figured all this out right after we finally fucked?

123. We 69'd for 40 minutes straight.

124. I had a nice time last night.

125. I hope you did too.

126. I'm just not ready to be serious with anyone.

127. I'm just trying to have some fun.

128. If you don't like me, you can just say.

129. I don't like you.

130. I'm sorry.

131. Whoo! Come on!

132. Oh, man.

133. Fuck.

134. Not exactly the same as the compound, but it's cozy.

135. Damn, Daddy, you out here getting drunk on the sea?

136. I enjoy a margarita or two.

137. It's part of the lifestyle out here.

138. Lifestyle?

139. Really?

140. OK, maybe Daddy needs a time-out.

141. Yeah, and a goddamn men's haircut.

142. That might be nice.

143. Ew! Is that a woman's bra?

144. - Oh! - That's for tits.

145. Are you dating?

146. Is this proof of your sex, Daddy?

147. It's not what you think it is.

148. I use it for fishing, for bait.

149. Oh, thank God.

150. I was thinking like, oh, maybe Daddy

151. found some saggy-titted sea hag to replace Mama.

152. About to flip my shit over here.

153. Look, I was fixin' to start crying.

154. Look at my eyes.

155. Could you even imagine if Daddy met someone new?

156. Yucky ducks! Ew.

157. That'd be the fucking worst.

158. Luckily all of Daddy's loin desires have disappeared.

159. Daddy's nuts done dried.

160. All your dick juices are gone

161. 'cause Mama's got 'em in a jar up in heaven.

162. OK.

163. What can I do for you kids?

164. Ain't nobody heard whether you were coming back

165. for Mama's birthday celebration telethon.

166. I was just curious if maybe your RSVP is floating around

167. in some bottle out here.

168. Yeah, well, I'm, uh, not gonna make it.

169. What?

170. Why come?

171. It's for Mama, Daddy.

172. Yeah, that's your dead wife, remember, dude?

173. Of course.

174. I just—I—I'm out here—

175. I'm trying to wrestle with things.

176. I'm trying to figure out what I need.

177. Look at this motherfucker here.

178. This dude's down here wasting away in Margaritaville.

179. Thinking he's fucking Robinson Crusoe,

180. like you fucking Tom Hanks from that one motion picture.

181. "Philadelphia."

182. No, not the AIDS one, the by-hisself one.

183. No, the, uh—

184. dang, I just had it.

185. The by-hisself one.

186. What is the fucking Tom Hanks-by-hisself one?

187. - "Cast Away." - "Cast Away."

188. Bingo.

189. That's what you doing, Daddy.

190. You out here actin' like

191. you in that goddamn motion picture.

192. I'm not gonna make the telethon.

193. I'm sorry.

194. I just—my head's not in the right place.

195. All right, well, if you don't love Mama no more

196. and you just want to sit out here

197. and float around smelling like fish pussy all day, go ahead.

198. Yeah, boy, smell like minge for the rest of yo' days.

199. Minge?

200. Pussy, Daddy.

201. Ah, Kelvin, don't you say that word, please.

202. We growns, Daddy.

203. We can say whatever the hell we want to.

204. We can say "pussy" on a loop 50 times if we do so desire.

205. And if Daddy ain't gonna come to Mama's birthday,

206. he finna get hit with that "pussy" loop.

207. Yep.

208. Wait, what are we doing?

209. Daddy, we're gonna give you to the count of 3

210. to tell us you coming back.

211. 1.

212. Call it off.

213. 2.

214. I'm not coming.

215. Then let the "pussies" begin.

216. - Pussy. - Pussy, pussy, pussy.

217. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.

218. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy!

219. Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!

220. Fine, I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming!

221. Just stop saying pussy!

222. - Yeah, we got him! - Yeah!

223. "Pussy" loop the loop.

224. Oh, my God.

225. Yes!

226. Great job!

227. Nice job, BJ.

228. Thanks, Tanya.

229. I appreciate your guidance. - Of course.

230. Whoo, God dang, Beej.

231. Watching you work that pole's got me slick, boy.

232. 'Bout to start finger dancin' on my snapdragz.

233. Talkin' bout clitty cat.

234. I'll see you next class, BJ.

235. OK.

236. Yeah, walk that tight ass away.

237. Go sit on a hot car hood, you cunt.

238. Jeez Louise.

239. Are you OK, Jude?

240. Yeah, I'm fine.

241. I'm just, like, looking around at all these fit slits

242. and I'm feeling like, what the fuck?

243. Why do you need hobbies and shit?

244. Don't I give you a good life?

245. Of course you do, Judy.

246. But a man can have hobbies.

247. The physical rigor and slightly taboo nature of pole

248. has engaged the healthy obsessive in me.

249. I want to get good at this.

250. It's all about core body strength,

251. not peeping tight asses.

252. Come on. Come on.

253. So you must be super stoked you got Daddy

254. to come back for the telethon.

255. Props on that. - Yeah, thanks, dude.

256. I was, like, right on the verge of estranging his flat ass

257. if he was gonna say no.

258. I even wrote a "fuck you" note.

259. Cut out letters from magazines, smeared some dog shit on it

260. with a dollar store spatula

261. just in case he chose not to come.

262. But now he's back.

263. And he's here for Mama's memory.

264. And he's worrying about what matters,

265. and that's me, Jesse, and Kelvin.

266. Livin' loud and proud!

267. Welcome to Prism, y'all,

268. where we look at the Bible...

269. In a different light.

270. Maybe the Bible of ancient times

271. doesn't work for us anymore.

272. As modern young adults,

273. we see the world different than older,

274. lamer generations.

275. We're more open, understanding, and accepting.

276. And let's face it,

277. some of the stuff in the Bible is not.

278. Let's get rid of that yucky stuff

279. and focus on the good stuff.

280. Let's rock the system, y'all.

281. It's time to do things our way.

282. Open your Kelvin Gemstone edition Bibles.

283. 'Cause it's Prism time, y'all.

284. We are living the dream, Keefe.

285. Do not wake me up.

286. For the first time in my life,

287. I've found my people at Prism.

288. I'm being myself and worshipped well for it.

289. I worship you, brother.

290. Never did I ever dream that we would have

291. all that we have right now.

292. The acceptance, the success of Prism—

293. I, too, am the happiest I've ever been right now.

294. Plus, for once in my life, I have something

295. I can throw in Jesse and Judy's faces,

296. something that's actually making money.

297. This pink money's bountiful too, boy.

298. Spends just as good as green.

299. It's our world now, Keefe.

300. We do what we want.

301. Yeah. Yeah, we do.

302. Maybe we could even be a little more open for everyone.

303. Set an example for our Prism discipes

304. by maybe kissing more in public or, I don't know,

305. getting married?

306. Whoa.

307. Coming in hot today, Keefe.

308. Don't be crazy, buddy.

309. Part of the reason Prism is so profitable

310. is, me and you keep it right down the mids.

311. We're like Siegfried and Roy.

312. The white tiger men?

313. Mm-hmm.

314. That's us.

315. Their show was always packed.

316. And sure, yes, everyone knew, in the privacy

317. of their animal-print mansion,

318. they were licking each other's wieners

319. just like me and you do.

320. But Roy and Sigs, they didn't make a thing of it.

321. Think about it.

322. If they were to play a quick round

323. of put in the pipe with each other in front of the audience

324. before they made that tiger jump through the fire,

325. would the entire audience stick around for the show?

326. Would they tell their friends they gotta go to Vegas,

327. check out Siegfried and Roy?

328. The answer is n-no?

329. There he is.

330. There's my mans.

331. Uh-oh.

332. Look who it is.

333. Kelvin, I don't have time for the kissy monster.

334. - I'm gon' get you. - Oh, no.

335. I'm gon' get you!

336. Oh, no.

337. Sick of people giving you weird looks

338. when you pray into the public?

339. Tired of waiting for your wife

340. to finish shopping at the local mall?

341. Take the stress away by checking into one

342. of our luxury Prayer Pods.

343. With Prayer Pods, the Gemstones are

344. bringing you their love and message everywhere you are.

345. For a small fee, you can gain access to your very own

346. private Prayer Pod.

347. Once inside, you'll have access to exclusive sermons,

348. quick prayers, and sneak peeks of some

349. of the exciting new content coming from Gemstone Studios.

350. Whoa, Dad, looks like something from the future.

351. That's because it is from the future, son.

352. Prayer Pods are the future of worship.

353. A tiny little, eensy, teensy, weensy bit of Christ

354. when you need him the most.

355. Amen.

356. There's room for all.

357. Cozy.

358. Pontius, come in.

359. Pontius, get in here right now. Come in.

360. Get in here.

361. Sit on my lap.

362. Sit on my knee.

363. Jesus Christ!

364. Ugh, God damn it!

365. It smells like Pontius shit his damn pants in there.

366. Fucking farted on your knee, dude.

367. I still haven't seen any Prayer Pods in the wild yet.

368. Yeah, they're definitely launching

369. a little slower than anticipated.

370. You know, we're just trying to find the right location

371. that gets the kind of foot traffic we're looking for.

372. Airports are being a little bit weird

373. because they're owned federally, apparently.

374. You know, this kind of thing

375. just takes a little bit of time.

376. I am so proud of you.

377. And I think it's brilliant.

378. My first church invention.

379. Why did we have to be in this?

380. 'Cause what else you got going on, Pontius?

381. Your dumb ass failed out of the Citadel.

382. Now you gotta do whatever your parents want.

383. To transform into a lame church dork like Gideon?

384. No, thanks. - Thank you, Pont.

385. I appreciate that. - Getting kicked out of school,

386. now, that's what's lame. - Bingo.

387. Citadel was stricter on me because of my family name.

388. It's the only reason I got expelled.

389. It wasn't 'cause you were making viral videos

390. with your buddies of sticking firecrackers

391. up each other's assholes and filming it?

392. Pontius, baby, I do need you to know

393. that you can really hurt your privates

394. doing things like that.

395. Believe me, everything down there is working just fine.

396. Ugh, revolting.

397. We sent our damn boy to military school

398. to whip him into shape.

399. He came back worse,

400. and now he knows how to kill people.

401. It is a good skill to have if you're judicious.

402. Maybe we could encourage Pontius

403. to make better decisions going forward

404. if we were more supportive.

405. Yeah.

406. Support me.

407. I am supporting you, by letting your ass stay at home.

408. That's a lot more than my daddy would do for me.

409. But Eli did let you move back home

410. when you got kicked out of school.

411. Apples and oranges.

412. Sounds like the exact same thing.

413. Well, my daddy doesn't support me now,

414. so, face, shut the fuck up.

415. What are you talking about, Dad?

416. Granddad has always been pretty supportive.

417. Are you kidding me?

418. I literally had to go down to Florida

419. and drag his long-haired ass back here

420. to come celebrate my mama's birthday.

421. I think dwelling on Grandma just makes him sad is all.

422. Why are you getting his side?

423. I'm sitting here just trying to, like, rail on my old man.

424. And you're sitting here like, oh, he's sad about this,

425. he's sad about that.

426. Be straight with me, Gideon.

427. Is he your mentor figure?

428. You can tell me if he is. Just tell me.

429. Is he your mentor figure or not?

430. I mean, we talk sometimes.

431. He gives me advice and stuff.

432. He calls you?

433. He doesn't call me.

434. Well, it goes both ways. I call him too.

435. You call him?

436. Call me, bro. I'm here, all right?

437. I can mentor figure.

438. Denied.

439. I think Dad's butthurt.

440. Abraham, no sodomy jokes.

441. It's honestly just really normal Granddad stuff.

442. But if that makes him a mentor figure, then yeah, I guess.

443. Knew it.

444. So funny.

445. You know what?

446. Go be butt buddies with your granddaddy.

447. See if I care.

448. I'll tell you this.

449. There ain't a damn person in this world

450. that thinks that Daddy's cool anymore except for you.

451. So think about that.

452. Hey, baby, butt buddies is—is sodomy.

453. I didn't mean it like that, all right?

454. I'm not trying to say he's trying

455. to fuck my daddy in the ass.

456. I just mean that they're, like, connected together

457. all the time, and it's annoying.

458. Come on, Jesse.

459. Just like your brother and sister, stabilize!

460. Shut the fuck up!

461. What the hell do you think I'm trying to do?

462. God damn it.

463. He wants you to be like us.

464. Yeah, Jesse, stabilize.

465. Down there fucking saying shit.

466. Stabilize, stabilize.

467. 10 years sober for this.

468. Just focus on your own stabilizations.

469. As you can see, business as usual.

470. - You look like an idiot. - You look like an idiot.

471. Martin, until today, I never thought I'd outlive my kids.

472. Yeah!

473. Hey, hey! Look who I got here!

474. Whoo!

475. Look who I got with me right here!

476. Look at y'all, flying around like spacemen!

477. Ahh!

478. Lori Milsap, we're flying!

479. Whoo.

480. Hey, get these things off of us

481. so we can go do hugs with Mama's bestie.

482. Come on down. Bring 'em down.

483. - Hold on. - Come down.

484. Let me just get mine figured out.

485. Hold on. - Be careful.

486. Oh, shit, mine's doing weird stuff.

487. - Stick the landing. - Oh, shit!

488. - Whoa! - Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!

489. Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!

490. Oh, God damn it!

491. Oh, fuck! - Is he all right?

492. - 'Sup? - Let's get it off him.

493. Whoo!

494. - Come on, y'all, I need a hug. - Look at her.

495. I missed y'all little cocksuckers.

496. - Miss Lori! - Miss Lori!

497. Miss Lori!

498. Eh?

499. Is Willie Nelson here?

500. Who's that long-haired hippie over there?

501. Oh!

502. Even Miss Lori's making fun of Daddy's dumb hair.

503. Good to see you, Lori.

504. Are you kidding me? Give me a hug.

505. - OK. - Hug her, Eli.

506. Don't be no android.

507. Look how awkward Daddy's being, huh?

508. Bashful Daddy.

509. Look at his cheeks, dude.

510. See how the pink's coming up in them?

511. - Yeah, right here. - Would you stop being weird?

512. We're just doing teases. Dang.

513. Glad you made it, Miss Lori.

514. You think I would miss this?

515. Come here, Marty.

516. Aw.

517. Always a true friend to Aimee-Leigh, Lori.

518. I bet you could never dream of skipping out on this tribute,

519. unlike old Eli over there.

520. Miss Lori, we basically had to drag Daddy's ass

521. from the floor of the ocean.

522. Yeah, now he's come back like a damn domesticated savage,

523. all confused about how the modern world works.

524. I'm here, ain't I?

525. You damn well better be.

526. 'Cause we pulling out all the stops, sweetheart.

527. Y'all keep rehearsing.

528. I got a "Bible Bonkers" taping I got to be at.

529. They can't start the show without no star, now.

530. I'm a big-time TV mogul now, Lori, the biggest.

531. Don't be jealous, Eli.

532. Jealous of what?

533. That I'm Tyler Perry and you ain't.

534. You're more like Luke Perry: dead.

535. Hey, I got to go now.

536. Hold on.

537. God damn, y'all.

538. Move out the way!

539. It really has been too long, y'all.

540. I mean, shit, I gotta get my shit together over here.

541. Daddy, you can happy cry as well.

542. Miss Lori's back.

543. That's what I'm talking about.

544. - Whoo! - Yes! Yes! Yes!

545. Lori!

546. Yes! Lori's here!

547. - Yes, yes, yes! - Yes!

548. - Miss Lori. - She's here.

549. I love you.

550. Oh, you know, I've just been kicking around.

551. What the hell do you think I'm trying to do?

552. You know. Stupid damn jet pack!

553. Did some dinner theater up in Pigeon Forge

554. and shit like that. Whoo!

555. Gotta share your gift.

556. - Well... - Are you happy?

557. Whoo!

558. Oh, man, hell no.

559. Whoo! Mine's busted.

560. I mean, it's been a rough couple of years.

561. Yeah, the last 1,000 miles or so on my odometer

562. haven't been particularly kind to me either.

563. At least you still got your hair.

564. Yeah. Yeah.

565. I don't want to be by your side.

566. Trying to do it on my own. Shut the fuck up.

567. Hey, why'd your kids have to beg you to do this?

568. I'll do it. Shut up!

569. I guess a man can't float in his own boat

570. in the Florida Keys using a different name

571. without being a deadbeat.

572. Damn this thing.

573. Well, I'm impressed.

574. Shoot.

575. Why is this moving? Shit. Mine's broken.

576. I miss her, Eli.

577. Yeah, we all do.

578. You know, I do talk to her sometimes.

579. - Me too. - Mm. I bet.

580. Oh, Aimee-Leigh, you big dummy,

581. leaving us here.

582. I mean... Shut up!

583. As much as I love her, you gotta admit,

584. that was just plain rude.

585. - Oh, God. Yeah. - Whoo!

586. Well, maybe someday we'll get to tell her

587. just how damn rude she was.

588. Hey, Pont!

589. Pontius!

590. Come on, man, service is about to start.

591. Let's go. Come on.

592. And watch you flounder?

593. I'll pass.

594. I'm not gonna flounder, so...

595. - We'll see about that. - That's not—

596. I'm not gonna flounder.

597. And Jesus said...

598. "I am He."

599. And, uh, all the soldiers in the land fell on—

600. Sorry.

601. So they were— all the soldiers fell down.

602. Uh...

603. basically, yeah, so the soldiers fell down.

604. Dude is good at everything,

605. but he fucking sucks at preaching.

606. How? How is that possible?

607. And that's all part of God's plan

608. was why.

609. That's the reason how—how come.

610. There was more slides, but I think we got it.

611. Man, I am not great at sermons, huh?

612. Yeah, you're not.

613. My advice to you would be less monotone.

614. Stop pretending like you're on NPR.

615. Maybe don't fuck with them PowerPoints

616. and computer screens quite so much.

617. Maybe even pop a beta blocker or something.

618. Wednesday's sermon is mostly an older crowd.

619. You'll figure it out.

620. Keep it simple.

621. Yeah.

622. OK, that's kind of vague, LOL.

623. Thanks for nothing, Granddad.

624. Am I right?

625. No, I think it's good.

626. I appreciate the advice.

627. - Pkew. - Whew!

628. It's not—not funny.

629. Are you pretending that his fist got hurt when you guys—

630. no, I don't get it.

631. I'm sorry.

632. Happy birthday, Aimee-Leigh!

633. Please welcome the Gemstone family

634. with Eli Gemstone himself.

635. Hey!

636. Yes, it's us!

637. Mama's birthday, everybody!

638. - Whoo! - Oh!

639. Yay, Mama!

640. Thank you so much.

641. I—I—I debated coming here tonight.

642. I'm retired now, and I try to stay out of the limelight.

643. But the kids talked me into it.

644. - Aw. - They said it was important.

645. And for once, they were right.

646. - Aw, Daddy. - For once.

647. - For once. - For once.

648. That's right, we were.

649. And Lord knows I'm the busiest bee in the Gemstone family.

650. But even I knew this was an event not to be missed.

651. OK, Kelvin.

652. Kelvin's not the only busy bee in this family.

653. I do inventions now, uh, Prayer Pods.

654. I—I do inventions. So I was busy too.

655. And I also wanted to come celebrate my dead mom.

656. - You've heard of 'em? - OK. Amen, Jesse.

657. Everybody's happy for you.

658. We're all here to celebrate our dead mom, blah, blah, blah.

659. Daddy, is there anything else you want to talk about?

660. 'Cause I'm ready to get to my favorite part,

661. which is the singing.

662. Aimee-Leigh loved you.

663. - Aw. - I know 'cause I can—

664. I can feel that love here.

665. Even though she's gone, I can feel it right now.

666. Because I see it in you.

667. - Whoo! - Yeah!

668. Let's raise some money tonight for Mama!

669. - Whoo! - Yes!

670. Good, good, OK.

671. And was there a certain number that you were...

672. If you want to really show love to the church,

673. let's go with the double birthday play.

674. What's your routing number? - Tell me your first name.

675. - Your routing number. - Keegan.

676. Keegan, we are so glad that you called.

677. The Aimee-Leigh Birthday Celebration

678. Give-A-Thon, y'all.

679. Raising money, lifting spirits.

680. Come on, impress me.

681. Ah!

682. No way.

683. Can't pass up a sweet.

684. Well, you always did have a big mouth.

685. Made a lot of money with it, though.

686. Made a lot of friends too.

687. Mm.

688. Thanks so much for coming, Lori.

689. Aimee-Leigh really would have appreciated it.

690. Are you kidding me?

691. I was thrilled to be included.

692. Boy, hmm, anything for you, Eli,

693. and those crazy old kids of yours.

694. It's been too long.

695. It just goes sliding on by so fast.

696. Except for you haven't aged a day.

697. Time surely has been kind to you.

698. Dang, you hittin' on me?

699. Of course not.

700. That'd be—that'd be, uh, crossing a line, wouldn't it?

701. Sure is good to see you.

702. It's really good to see you too, Lori.

703. Thanks again for coming. - Oh.

704. Put her there, champ.

705. Yeah, well, that is very formal, Dr. Gemstone.

706. That is just like my lawyer.

707. Oh, my.

708. Get on the phone, people.

709. Credit cards, cash, Venmo, Zelle—we take everything.

710. If the line's busy, call back.

711. Somebody's gonna pick up!

712. And it might just be God!

713. Hey.

714. Yes.

715. Oh, shit. Oh, I can't—oh, my God.

716. God damn it.

717. Fuck me.

718. My bad. Sorry.

719. Lori!

720. Yes. Yes.

721. They're loving it.

722. Let's go higher. - No.

723. Jesse, the fuck are you thinkin'?

724. Yeah, Jesse, this is high enough.

725. Then let me rise.

726. Jesse, come down here.

727. Jesse, you're a fucking idiot!

728. He's so dumb.