The Righteous Gemstones 3x8

1. Aunt May-May, Cousin Karl,

2. I got to tell y'all Peter Montgomery is an evil Skeletor.

3. He is a very gross person to be related to.

4. Worst uncle ever! And that's saying a lot in this family.

5. I'm just glad you all are okay.

6. Yeah, we are thanks to you, but no thanks to Daddy.

7. Pretty bold move not to pay that ransom payment, Dr. Elijah Gemstone.

8. What the fuck was going on in your head when you made that call?

9. - I thought he was bluffing. - Bluffing?

10. You'd make a piss poor poker player, muchacho.

11. I guess I still remember the old Peter.

12. I hoped that man was somewhere inside him.

13. Next time save your gut feelings and your hopes for the horses.

14. Okay, daddy boy? Your kids' lives were in danger.

15. Well, he has no idea what we went through.

16. I almost made poo in a bucket. Daddy.

17. I hate what you had to endure.

18. Damn ass little daddy. I'm so sick of you.

19. - How am I the bad guy in this? - You're not the bad guy Uncle Eli.

20. I am. And I'm really sorry.

21. I'm going to do what I can to make things right, guys.

22. At least you're owning it, Karl. You hear that, Daddy?

23. Karl's being a big boy. And as somebody who recently fucked up,

24. I know how hard it is to do what you just did by saying you're sorry.

25. - So apology accepted. - I forgive you too, K-dog.

26. We all make mistakes. But you, you're on the good team now.

27. Karl, I think that even I forgive you, because you stepped up but fuck Chuck.

28. Next time I see him, I'll end his life if he don't end mine first.

29. - Nobody is killing nobody. - We'll see.

30. Flying off the handle won't help.

31. Dr. Gemstone, I don't take advice from you no mo. At this moment,

32. I'm not in the mood to discuss this matter with you any further.

33. Perhaps we can arrangement some time the near future.

34. - What are you looking at? - I'm not talking to him anymore.

35. Well, then that's what I'm going to do, too. Ignored!

36. Cops are gonna be all over this place. Y'all need to move faster.

37. It's his damn fault we have to move in the first place.

38. I can't believe your brother took with our hostages. Y'all couldn't stop him?

39. Karl's a big boy, I'd like to see you try stopping him.

40. Well, if that was me I would have shot him.

41. Spent all that time worried about 'em when they was kidnapped.

42. Now none of 'em ever want to see me.

43. I'm sorry, May-May. I said terrible things about you.

44. I said terrible things about your sons, about your family.

45. Then you almost got yourself killed trying to save my kids.

46. Our kids. Don't beat yourself up!

47. Ain't like I'm not accustomed to you being an asshole Eli.

48. It's sort of your default. It don't shake me none.

49. I haven't always been kind to you, have I?

50. Well, you been about as kind to me as I've been to you.

51. We don't blow smoke up each other's butts like some people do, that's all.

52. - I don't begrudge you for that. - I don't begrudge you neither.

53. I guess, that's just how we do each other.

54. That's right.

55. Come here.

56. All right.

57. What's he doing?

58. Does Peter even know where the hell we're going?

59. Peter fucking drive?

60. Hey, Peter. You think we could have a plan or something?

61. It don't even got to be a good one?

62. You sound like a woman the way you piss and moan.

63. - I'm acting like a woman? - Yeah!

64. You drive that damn U-haul like a woman!

65. Stop calling me a woman!

66. - You're being a damn woman right now! - Oh, yeah, woman?

67. - Stop calling me a woman! - You woman!

68. Look can we please stop talking about who's the woman for a minute

69. and figure out where we're gonna go?

70. I know where we're going. God! Everybody gather round!

71. Get it alright, we're gonna pray! Roll your eyes to the Lord?

72. Alright bow your heads, all of you!

73. Dear heavenly Father, we ask for your guidance today.

74. Calm these men and woman of their anxieties.

75. Give them the courage to obey my commands.

76. Let them know that if they don't listen to me they're going against your word.

77. Because I am the keeper of your word.

78. And anyone who challenges me challenges you dear Lord.

79. And any challenge of you get sent straight to hell.

80. - In Jesus name we pray, amen. - Amen!

81. The whole time you were in captivity, I would light a candle

82. and cry while praying to God that if I ever got to see you again,

83. I would do everything I could to be a good husband.

84. BJ, you are the best fucking husband I could ever have imagined.

85. And I imagined quite a few. Ryan Phillippe. Savion Glover the tap dancer.

86. But you're better than all of them. You're perfect.

87. I actually started thinking that maybe all that stuff happened

88. cause I wasn't enough for you?

89. No, BJ, come on. You're more than enough.

90. I don't know, I got wrapped up in all of it:

91. me being a famous singer, and being a boss of the church.

92. - I lost myself. - We're allowed to make mistakes.

93. Just as long as at the end of the day we have each other's back.

94. - I will always have your back. - And I'll always have yours.

95. If there's one thing I've learned from this

96. it's that when life gets crazy and turned upside down,

97. sometimes the best way to reset is with a real good deep fucking.

98. - I could use a nice reset. - We both could.

99. Oh, no! Son, are you okay?

100. I don't know, daddy. I think I might be drowning.

101. Gosh, I wish I had a chopper!

102. You do, daddy. And it's right here.

103. Just have to take the controls, daddy.

104. Yeah. I'm going to fly the chopper with my mouth.

105. It was so scary, Keefe. There were times I thought

106. I was going to lose my mind and go mad.

107. I can tell. I can feel your stress all the way from your traps,

108. all the way down to your glutes.

109. And our fight, by the way, one hundred percent my fault.

110. - I was such an A-hole. - It's okay, brother.

111. I was just a bit jolted to see you and Taryn working so closely,

112. so quickly right after I left.

113. So are you two dating? Spread.

114. Nah. She ain't my type.

115. Plus I hated all the forced claps and laughter and fun times.

116. I like doing claps and laughters with you.

117. Same here. I love getting the children all zazzed up and excited

118. to learn about Jesus with you.

119. Yeah. Totes agree. I mean Taryn's nice, but she's not you.

120. She tried to be me, but it was a failed try.

121. Bring 'em down. Bring 'em down. My little bird boxes.

122. And halt. Remove the blindfolds. Surprise!

123. Holy shit! New 4-wheelers?

124. You're damn right I got one for each of you.

125. - Got your names on 'em and everything. - These things are so sick! Thanks, dad.

126. You're welcome my sweet family. You know after being kidnapped,

127. I don't know, I just feel anew. Just generous, like a changed man.

128. Yeah, we noticed the change. The silver chops are back.

129. - Silver chops? What are those? - Your sideburns. They're gray again.

130. Gideon, I appreciate your heroism in a pinch,

131. but your attention to detail is way off. These burns always been gray, fella.

132. No I remember them black too. Like too black.

133. Like two big black dicks danglin' down the sides yo' face.

134. At least you're being your true self now. An old fart.

135. Better an old fart than a young piece of shit

136. who's made terrible life choices

137. like putting Super Mario brothers on your arm.

138. - It's Stalin. - It's stupid.

139. - Jesse. What is all this? - I was insecure.

140. Felt I hadn't earned my place.

141. That made me threatened to share a stage with my siblings

142. and even share a stage with you.

143. I was being a shitty little bitch about the system because it's a hit.

144. I was afraid it was going to take some of your attention away from me.

145. But that's a fucked up thing to think. I support you. And I'm proud of you.

146. Thanks for having patience and for making me the man I am today.

147. You know with age comes wisdom.

148. Except in Eli's case. And refusing not to pay that ransom.

149. I could not believe that he did that.

150. Gideon, next time you see your grandaddy,

151. I want you to tell him I thinks he's a money hungry bitch.

152. I'll try and express this in my own words or maybe in just a softer way.

153. And if he fucking tries to come back and tries to talk shit about me

154. you crack his face.

155. I'm not gonna do that.

156. Daddy bonds are stronger than grandaddy bonds don't you forget that.

157. - Pa? - What?

158. Marshall here has some things he wants to talk to you about.

159. No distractions. Can't you see I'm building a detonator here?

160. Peter, we're all just a little concerned.

161. Seems like the whole operation is slipping a little bit.

162. Slipping? Why? Because we left some dilapidated farm?

163. That's called smart, Marshall.

164. That's called staying ahead of the opposition, okay? Strategic thinking.

165. Maybe. But since we ain't got a damn shot at that ransom money now,

166. we just all curious what exactly is your plan going forward?

167. I'd say 5,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate in the back of this truck here.

168. Yeah, maybe it's time to try out some another fellers' ideas

169. since yours don't seem to be really working.

170. What? Is this about you dumb-ass statue protests again?

171. You think it's dumb. I think it's important.

172. Why would we travel all over the country protesting statues?

173. That is the silliest idea I ever heard in my life.

174. We ain't protesting statues, Peter.

175. Protesting the people protesting statues.

176. These are monuments. Our culture and our heritage!

177. Nobody cares about your stupid bullshit ideas, Marshall!

178. That will be all. Return to your quarters.

179. We ain't got no damn quarters, Peter!

180. Then, go sit in your fucking truck and cool off.

181. So that's how you talk to guys who've known since prison now?

182. No, that's how I talk to to ungrateful dummies, which is what you are.

183. - Do you think that was wise, Pa? - You let me worry about that.

184. Shoot me straight, Gideon. Your dad's still pretty sore at me isn't he?

185. I think he's just been tired and maybe a little bit moody

186. because of everything he's be through.

187. I hope he knows, I hope you know that I would've paid

188. if I thought their lives were in danger. I knew they weren't.

189. You don't have to explain to me grandad. I trust you. Everybody got home safe.

190. I can see why you'd want to get away from this family from time to time.

191. Without your grandma it's a pretty toxic affair.

192. It's not that I want to get away from them, I just want to carve my own path.

193. Figure out what the hell it is I intend to do with my life.

194. You don't want to drive your old grandad around for the rest of your life?

195. - There are worse things to do. - There's a lot better things to do too.

196. When I was a young man your age,

197. I would've never imagined myself becoming a preacher.

198. That's a fact. But you never know where life's journey's gonna take you.

199. - Chuck? What's going on? - We moved.

200. Won't say where we are, so don't ask. You really upset Pa, you know that.

201. You all escaping has put us in a bad spot with the militia.

202. Everything's falling apart.

203. Some of them probably want to put a bullet in Daddy's back now.

204. - Chuck, just come home. - No.

205. What about Momma? Is she sore at me?

206. I wasn't gonna really shoot nobody. You tell her that for me?

207. She knows that, Chucky.

208. Just come back. Please. I miss you.

209. - Howdy. - Sup.

210. What's up? What the hell is all this?

211. I've ain't never been here on a weekday, like where the hell is the big table?

212. I guess they bring the big table in just for us special on Sundays.

213. It's crazy being back, isn't it?

214. You all been able to slip back into your old lives?

215. Real talk dude? It's better than before I got kidnapped.

216. Makes everything snap into focus that's for sure.

217. I feel that same way. Like I can be more honest, you know? True to myself.

218. I can tell you're going through some truthful stuff

219. because you got them grey chops back.

220. I guess I didn't realize how old they made you look.

221. You look old, dude. I can totally see why you were dying them.

222. Okay. If you two are finish discussing the tones of my hair,

223. I'd like to discuss something little more serious.

224. Our father, Elijah, he does not love us, all he cares about is money.

225. That's the harsh truth that the two of you need to get your heads around.

226. Look, all of us know that our daddy is a dickhead.

227. Yeah.

228. That is a pill that we have always have known that we need to swallow.

229. We can't think about that anymore cause now is the time for us to join together.

230. To evolve into the independent free-thinking church leaders

231. that we three have been here to always to know.

232. - What the fuck are you blathering about? - I am so lost right now.

233. I'm supposed to return to church Sunday.

234. With everything that's happened it would be lame for me to be up there by myself.

235. I know you two quit your jobs.

236. I just wanted to see if you were having second thoughts.

237. Maybe consider coming back to the church?

238. I don't know who the hell else you gonna get.

239. Let me tell you this we're family and I'm not gonna leave you in a lurch.

240. Kelvin? Do you take back your quitting?

241. Goddang Kelvin, don't be trying to take a long time to answer.

242. I'm not taking a long time. I'm choosing my words.

243. And I've chosen them. I take back my declaration to quit.

244. I can't let you two go up there and hog it all for yourself.

245. Yeah. Put it there. Hands on hands.

246. No, Jesse.

247. - Hands hold hands. - Hands hold hands?

248. We're not that kind of family. We never have been were hands on hands.

249. Maybe it's time we shake some things up.

250. - Holy shit. Are we doing it? - I think we're doing it.

251. - We're fucking holding hands. - Will it work if we hold them high?

252. - Did y'all jizz? - No.

253. Me neither.

254. Surprise, surprise, chicken and fries! Got good eats for everybody!

255. Fast food? Is that all we're getting to eat?

256. Hey Peter, can I get two Fancy Sandies?

257. Everyone gets one sandwich, one fry, and one shake.

258. - Why can't I get two sandies? - Because nobody gets two.

259. - I'm hungry. - I said no, Jacob.

260. We have to ration what we have fellas. Come on.

261. We were supposed to get $15 million in cash

262. and now we can barely afford fast food. Pretty much sums it up.

263. Yeah, yeah.

264. Boys we have officially accomplished zero of our goals.

265. Wrong. We haven't accomplished our goals yet.

266. Your minds are weak with greed. The devil has you salivating for cash.

267. Come on, we can still accomplish our goals.

268. Why would we want to do that now? Why would we wanna be out

269. under an overpass when we can't even eat a solid meal?

270. - Right. - He's right.

271. Wow, Jacob? You too.

272. It just don't seem worth it.

273. We wouldn't even be dealing with this shit

274. if you hadn't let the fucking Gemstones escape.

275. - That's right. - Yeah.

276. Marshall, congratulations. You turned them against me.

277. - We want you gone, Peter. - That's right.

278. You and Chuck! We are seizing militia funds to start a new group.

279. The Keepers of Yesterday's Monuments.

280. Statue protests. That's what you're spending our money on?

281. Just call it like what it is, okay?

282. You're gonna take all the funds, you're gonna take the truck,

283. the explosives and just leave us with nothing?

284. We're taking the money.

285. But nobody gives a shit about your little truck full of firecrackers.

286. Let's get out of here, Chuck.

287. We don't wanna stick around where we're not wanted.

288. Take care, Peter. Fucking bye, man. You drive safe now.

289. Get the fuck out of way. You fuckers. Take that.

290. Fuck!

291. Well, Dr. Gemstone. I wanna thank you very much for coming here.

292. And as you know, I am Jesse's spiritual mentor at the church.

293. And I advise all these children of yous.

294. Part of that duty is helping them to navigate very difficult conversations.

295. Kids, we don't have to talk through Baby Billy. You can talk to me.

296. Eli, the Gemstone progeny is very angry

297. that you were unwilling to pay ransom when they was being held hostage.

298. I was taken back too, Eli. I mean, these are your children now.

299. I'm not doing this. I know you all got issues with me.

300. Say what you gotta say. I'm right here.

301. Daddy, you left us to die!

302. Uncle Peter would've definitely killed any one of us if not, all three.

303. Or just mutilate us and start mailing you our body parts little by little.

304. Nipples, penis, butthole shavings. All our tender bits, daddy.

305. - I advised you to speak through me. - Baby Billy, stay out of this.

306. Uncle Peter is right about you. All you care about is money.

307. I thought you cared about the church but seeing as how you just

308. throw us into the deep end and let us sink or swim without given a shit.

309. I see it has nothing to do with the church. You're just about the money boy.

310. You're right about the church not being the most important thing.

311. But it's not money. You're the most important thing to me.

312. Maybe sometimes it don't feel that way, but it's true.

313. I only care about the money because it ensures

314. you kids will always have the life your Momma and I wanted for you.

315. That's some sentimental ass bullshit right there.

316. - Not buying it. - Phony baloney.

317. What the fuck are you smiling at? What's so funny?

318. Look at you three. You're doing it. You're working together.

319. If it takes hating on me as a common enemy so be it.

320. It's for your own good. Hate me if you want to,

321. if it means you work as a unified team, I can die happy.

322. Thank you, kids. This was nice.

323. Okay. What? What just happened?

324. Where's he going?

325. Did he win or did we win? What are you smiling at?

326. And I advised you to speak through me now.

327. Baby Billy you ain't no damn lawyer.

328. I was a paralegal once in another life, for your information.

329. Paraplegic. Watch this.

330. Walk right the fuck out of here is what I'm gone do.

331. How about this? Can a paraplegic do this?

332. Oh, Goddamn.

333. They gonna give us the boot? Let's see how that works out for them.

334. Stepping to the light where there's sunshine in your eyes.

335. You thought he was for the righteous side

336. They're cheering for us.

337. Look, they're even up in the high seats.

338. This is nuts. Why did they even come?

339. What do you think? They wanna hear about our struggle.

340. We can finally play the victim.

341. When there's nothing left to say. And all the clouds have faded away.

342. And my mind wanders out there across the bay.

343. Just to be there in the morning with the sun coming through the trees.

344. Well you know there ain't no place I'd rather be.

345. Sunday sunny Mill Valley groove day.

346. You can feel the magic in the air.

347. And when it's over and the clover has left the mountainside,

348. you'll be keen of what you survive.

349. - Where are we going, Pa? - We're going to church, Chuck.

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