1. Whoo-ooh!Copy !req
2. Look at that.
Sitting on Santa's lap.Copy !req
3. Yes.Copy !req
4. You're gonna be
the number one elf.Copy !req
5. You're his number one elf.Copy !req
6. Whoo!Copy !req
7. Hey, Gloria,
why you dragging behind, man?Copy !req
8. Come on, let's go.
Show some hustle.Copy !req
9. God, we gonna miss
all the good deals.Copy !req
10. I swear to God,
every time I turn around,Copy !req
11. it's like you damn got lost
staring off into space.Copy !req
12. Fuckin' space cadet.Copy !req
13. All right, look here, Harmon.Copy !req
14. Now, you gonna pick out
your own gift today.Copy !req
15. None of this guessing shit.Copy !req
16. I ain't gonna let Santa Claus
take all the credit neither.Copy !req
17. Now, the gift you get today—
look at me, son—Copy !req
18. is from your daddy.Copy !req
19. Now, we can go anywhere
in this entire mall.Copy !req
20. We can go to Chess King,
we can go to Sam Goody's,Copy !req
21. we can go to The Body Shop.Copy !req
22. You name it.Copy !req
23. Well, we can get a pet
at the shelter for freeCopy !req
24. instead of supporting
this puppy-mill shit.Copy !req
25. Are you a cat boy
or a dog boy, Harmon?Copy !req
26. Some people might think
they're both,Copy !req
27. but you got to be
one or the other.Copy !req
28. Now, that's just a fact.Copy !req
29. Now, which one are you?Copy !req
30. Aw, he a cat boy.Copy !req
31. Gloria, go to the back
and get the manager.Copy !req
32. You gonna buy Harmon
a cat today.Copy !req
33. Trust me, he's gonna need it.Copy !req
34. Go.Copy !req
35. You like them kittens?Copy !req
36. Beep beep.Copy !req
37. Yeah, beep beep, buddy.Copy !req
38. Hey, Harmon, look here.
Look at me.Copy !req
39. Now, son,Copy !req
40. you're always gonna remember
this Christmas.Copy !req
41. But no matter what,
I will always be your daddy.Copy !req
42. Always.Copy !req
43. Just like these
genuine pair of Oakleys,Copy !req
44. there is no substitute
for the original.Copy !req
45. You hear me?Copy !req
46. Come here.Copy !req
47. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
48. You got the goods, boy.Copy !req
49. I love you, son.Copy !req
50. You wait right here
for your mama.Copy !req
51. I'm already so anxious.Copy !req
52. Your family's so fucking
tedious to deal with, BJ.Copy !req
53. What? Tedious?Copy !req
54. They only visit, like,
once a year.Copy !req
55. Still, it's too much.Copy !req
56. This is not
what I envisioned for myself.Copy !req
57. In-laws.Copy !req
58. I always thought I would marry
a orphan with a dead familyCopy !req
59. so I didn't have to deal
with this shit.Copy !req
60. Being married
is learning to compromise.Copy !req
61. You know, I'm getting baptizedCopy !req
62. even though
I'm not 100% solid on itCopy !req
63. because I know
how important it isCopy !req
64. to you and your family.Copy !req
65. You are killing me
right now.Copy !req
66. Not 100% solid?Copy !req
67. BJ, I organized
a massive celebration.Copy !req
68. I got a DJ
coming in from Vegas.Copy !req
69. My daddy's gonna
baptize you personally.Copy !req
70. What, now you're having doubts?Copy !req
71. Inviting weird people?Copy !req
72. "Weird people"?
You mean my family?Copy !req
73. Why are they even coming, BJ?Copy !req
74. They're fucking
filthy atheists.Copy !req
75. They're intellectuals.Copy !req
76. People of reason
and science.Copy !req
77. I mean, part of it, I'm sure,
is morbid curiosity,Copy !req
78. but for the most part,
they support me.Copy !req
79. They're good folks, Jude.Copy !req
80. Well, it is not ideal
that your mom is a divorcéeCopy !req
81. and that Ken is just a stepdad.Copy !req
82. My biological father
was abusive.Copy !req
83. We left in the middle
of the night in 1990.Copy !req
84. You know that.
- I know. I know.Copy !req
85. I'm just saying wishes.Copy !req
86. - Well—
- BJ!Copy !req
87. - KJ!
- Oh, my son, I've missed you.Copy !req
88. Hugs.
- Hey.Copy !req
89. Aww.
Hey, Ken, looking good.Copy !req
90. - BJ—
- Fucking kidding me.Copy !req
91. Looking better than good.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
92. Hey, Ken.
Sup, dog?Copy !req
93. These are
lovely accommodations.Copy !req
94. Well, we just wanted
you guys to be comfy.Copy !req
95. I mean, we probably
could have stayedCopy !req
96. in a couple of the 14 bedrooms
at your mansion, but—Copy !req
97. Oh, actually, KJ,
you couldn't have,Copy !req
98. 'cause we have guests
right now.Copy !req
99. My uncle and his wife.Copy !req
100. Crazy to spend money
on lodging.Copy !req
101. I mean, just two people?Copy !req
102. Well, it is
just two people, Ken,Copy !req
103. but my uncle's wife
is special needs.Copy !req
104. Yeah, she's basically
a feral person.Copy !req
105. And she's also pregnant.Copy !req
106. So y'all want to give them
their space.Copy !req
107. - Yeah.
- Pregnant, ooh.Copy !req
108. Maybe it'll rub off
and give you twoCopy !req
109. some baby fever.Copy !req
110. - Oh, Mom, stop.
- Oh, you can go fuck yourself.Copy !req
111. Baby fever isn't real.Copy !req
112. Still would have been nice
to stayCopy !req
113. at the infamous
Gemstone compound.Copy !req
114. You're at a baptism.Copy !req
115. It's not a vacation,Copy !req
116. where, like, you stand around
and gawk at things.Copy !req
117. You wouldn't expect
to look at shitCopy !req
118. if this was a circumcision.Copy !req
119. If BJ was getting
his dick cut off,Copy !req
120. you wouldn't be all, like,Copy !req
121. "Hey, we want
to stay in your house."Copy !req
122. You'd be like,
"This is important.Copy !req
123. This is about God."Copy !req
124. Same diff.Copy !req
125. Pretty great hotel, huh?Copy !req
126. - Oh!
- Bam!Copy !req
127. Oh, my God!Copy !req
128. - Hit that sweet spot.
- Whoo!Copy !req
129. Boy, we have been having
some epic hangs, huh?Copy !req
130. Oh, we sure have.Copy !req
131. With each hang, stronger
and stronger bonds, huh?Copy !req
132. It's funny,Copy !req
133. 'cause a business relationship
enhances a friendship,Copy !req
134. 'cause then there's respect
and admiration.Copy !req
135. Yeah, I ain't proud of this,
but some of my regular friends,Copy !req
136. like the ones
we don't do deals with,Copy !req
137. I don't know,
I just feel myself thinkingCopy !req
138. they're dumb.Copy !req
139. Eh, not dumb.
That's not PC.Copy !req
140. I just feel sorry for them.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
141. I don't think you need
to feel sorry for them.Copy !req
142. You know, maybe they're
just dealing with thingsCopy !req
143. outside of their control.Copy !req
144. You know, that's true.Copy !req
145. You never know
what somebody's going through.Copy !req
146. You know, whether it's
financial troublesCopy !req
147. or family cock blocks.Copy !req
148. - Right.
- Who wants to lookCopy !req
149. at some pool shapes for Zion's?Copy !req
150. I know I do. Bam!Copy !req
151. Infinity pool,
old-school kidney bean—Copy !req
152. Lyle—Lyle, uh, look.Copy !req
153. I'll admit, there is nothing
in this worldCopy !req
154. I would rather do than discuss
pool shapes with you,Copy !req
155. but, uh...Copy !req
156. I just feel like I gotta tell
y'all something first.Copy !req
157. Hey, Jesse, are you crying?Copy !req
158. No.Copy !req
159. Well, concerning the money,Copy !req
160. it looks like Amber and I
are falling a little shortCopy !req
161. of what we need
for the Zion's investment.Copy !req
162. I don't think
we can pull it off.Copy !req
163. You don't have $10 million?Copy !req
164. The Gemstones are worth,
like, 600 million.Copy !req
165. I looked it up on Bing.Copy !req
166. That's my daddy.
That's not us.Copy !req
167. I mean, one day it will be,Copy !req
168. but sadly, right now it is not.Copy !req
169. He's not helping?Copy !req
170. Did you ask him?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
171. He's trying
to teach me a lesson,Copy !req
172. telling me I gotta
figure it out on my own.Copy !req
173. Well, this genuinely sucks,
Jesse!Copy !req
174. You told us you were in.
You gave us your word.Copy !req
175. You promised a commitment.Copy !req
176. Let me ask your dad
for the money.Copy !req
177. - He'll say yes to Lyle.
- No, it won't work.Copy !req
178. It's not gonna work.
- Well, you ask him again.Copy !req
179. Well, I already
asked him bunches.Copy !req
180. It's—
- Damn it, man!Copy !req
181. Joe Jonas and his wife
were just telling meCopy !req
182. how cool they thought you were.Copy !req
183. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
184. This is so disappointing, man.Copy !req
185. We got along so good
with y'all.Copy !req
186. Well, that doesn't need
to change, does it?Copy !req
187. I mean, we can still remain
on this pathwayCopy !req
188. to becoming very close friends.Copy !req
189. We'll catch y'all
on the next investment dealio.Copy !req
190. We would love that.Copy !req
191. There isn't another one.Copy !req
192. This is the only one, Jesse.Copy !req
193. See you in the car, baby.Copy !req
194. Do y'all think you can cover
two beers and some peanuts?Copy !req
195. I think peanuts are free.Copy !req
196. Who wants to go
on a mission?Copy !req
197. In 15 hours, we shall walk
the Judean DesertCopy !req
198. just as our Messiah did
more than 2,000 years ago.Copy !req
199. Away from civilization,
away from betrayersCopy !req
200. who cheat on mamas.Copy !req
201. I'm talking 40 days
and 40 nights, y'all!Copy !req
202. Can I get a JC?
JC!Copy !req
203. Can I get a JC?Copy !req
204. JC!Copy !req
205. God Squad.
Let's move.Copy !req
206. Martin.
What's the meaning of this?Copy !req
207. Eli received your email,Copy !req
208. and he says
you are not permittedCopy !req
209. to take a jet to Israel.Copy !req
210. Shh. Martin.Copy !req
211. Martin, what is the deal,
my dude?Copy !req
212. BJ's baptism is tomorrow,
and you are expected to attend.Copy !req
213. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
214. Okay, that is asinine.Copy !req
215. This whole deal is just
Judy kissing Daddy's butt.Copy !req
216. You know this.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Kelvin.Copy !req
217. No, Martin, come on.Copy !req
218. Hey, I know
that I'm your favorite.Copy !req
219. You just missed us, right?
You just missed us.Copy !req
220. Let my people go... to Israel.Copy !req
221. No jets.Copy !req
222. Yeah, jets.Copy !req
223. - No, Kelvin, no.
- Yes, yes.Copy !req
224. No... jets.Copy !req
225. Hey. Hi, there.Copy !req
226. Aw, what the hell?Copy !req
227. Maniac Kid.Copy !req
228. Are you talking to me?Copy !req
229. I have a message
from my boss.Copy !req
230. That's the state fruit
of TennesseeCopy !req
231. right there, old timer.Copy !req
232. Oh, I know a tomater
when I see one.Copy !req
233. Smooshed.Copy !req
234. You get the message?Copy !req
235. Well, the message
is a little vague,Copy !req
236. but I think I get
the general idea.Copy !req
237. Well, let me
spell it out for you then.Copy !req
238. You hurt my boss's feelings
real bad.Copy !req
239. And he's not the kind of guyCopy !req
240. that likes to have
hurt feelings.Copy !req
241. Oh, I don't know anybody
that likes hurt feelings.Copy !req
242. Do you?Copy !req
243. You ain't a bad heel, son.Copy !req
244. That growl needs work, though.Copy !req
245. He wants an apology.Copy !req
246. You're gonna give him one.Copy !req
247. Okay.Copy !req
248. Tell Junior I am very sorry,Copy !req
249. but he can go fuck hisself.Copy !req
250. Now, listen up, everybody.Copy !req
251. I'm gonna tell y'all a story.Copy !req
252. Hi, good to see you.Copy !req
253. Thank you.Copy !req
254. Hi! Amen, amen.Copy !req
255. Thank you.Copy !req
256. That's off my brand-new
hit album, "Lightning Round."Copy !req
257. In stores everywhere.
Also available for download.Copy !req
258. Wow.Copy !req
259. Today is the day that TJ
is gonna be born again.Copy !req
260. Can I get an amen?Copy !req
261. Amen!Copy !req
262. Now, who's ready
to meet TJ 2.0?Copy !req
263. BJ.Copy !req
264. Whoo!Copy !req
265. I don't understand this.Copy !req
266. Okay? I cleared it all.Copy !req
267. Well, you're on here,
plus one.Copy !req
268. - Yeah?
- But these 17 boys aren't.Copy !req
269. First the planes,
now this.Copy !req
270. What the fuck
are we even doing?Copy !req
271. Everyone is getting in.Copy !req
272. Okay? Trust.Copy !req
273. Keefe.
You are my plus one.Copy !req
274. Enter.Copy !req
275. Gather little-to-no-carb
finger foodsCopy !req
276. to nourish the men.Copy !req
277. Find a service entrance
to sneak them through.Copy !req
278. Await my word.Copy !req
279. Today we join together
with the people we loveCopy !req
280. to witness Benjamin JasonCopy !req
281. declare his commitment
to our Lord, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
282. BJ, come on down, son,Copy !req
283. and join the kingdom of God.Copy !req
284. Butterflies.Copy !req
285. Would you like
to say anything?Copy !req
286. Thank you all
for witnessing my journey.Copy !req
287. I was an afraid man,
but now I'm brave and strong.Copy !req
288. Do you accept Jesus Christ
into your heart,Copy !req
289. as your savior?
- Yes, I do.Copy !req
290. Okay.Copy !req
291. We got you.Copy !req
292. Introducing BJ "The Christian" Barnes!Copy !req
293. I'm so proud of you,
sugar baby.Copy !req
294. I'm on cloud nine.Copy !req
295. Thank you for the honor, Eli.Copy !req
296. I'm gonna go slip into
some special baptism duds.Copy !req
297. Hey, don't you dry
that hair, though.Copy !req
298. People want to see it.
That's proof.Copy !req
299. Well, you're really
phoning it in today,Copy !req
300. aren't you?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
301. Come on, Daddy.Copy !req
302. You're being all mopey
and weird out there.Copy !req
303. We're not even getting fun Eli.Copy !req
304. We're getting
emo, low-energy Eli.Copy !req
305. It must be so hard
to act like you're having fun.Copy !req
306. Guess you'd rather
be chasing skirtsCopy !req
307. than supporting your daughter
on her big day.Copy !req
308. Huh, here I wasCopy !req
309. thinking it was your husband's
big day this whole time.Copy !req
310. Did BJ even want
to get baptized?Copy !req
311. Yes.Copy !req
312. I told him to, so yes.Copy !req
313. Eli. Eli, here I am.Copy !req
314. Eli Gemstone.
Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
315. That was a great song,
wasn't it?Copy !req
316. Brought the house down.
- Yes, sir, it was.Copy !req
317. - You loved it, didn't you?
- I did.Copy !req
318. Yes.Copy !req
319. You know, I'm on
the Christian pop charts now.Copy !req
320. I know,
you keep reminding me.Copy !req
321. How are you feeling, darlin'?Copy !req
322. - Great. I'm due any day now.
- You sure are.Copy !req
323. That's why I'm surprised
you traveled.Copy !req
324. Well, there'd be
a lot of upset folksCopy !req
325. if old Baby Billy
didn't make it.Copy !req
326. 'Sides, this
is a family baptism.Copy !req
327. I couldn't miss that.
Now, that's way too important.Copy !req
328. It's a goddamn joke
is what it is.Copy !req
329. Hey, Tiff, you know what?Copy !req
330. Give me and Eli a minute.Copy !req
331. We got some men's business
to discuss.Copy !req
332. Why don't you go
back over thereCopy !req
333. and take some more pictures?Copy !req
334. Here, take these wings,
will you?Copy !req
335. And don't fly off, now.Copy !req
336. Go over there
and look cute, now.Copy !req
337. Get that baby in focus.Copy !req
338. All right.
What's going on, old boy?Copy !req
339. I just got a lot
on my mind.Copy !req
340. Well, fair enough.Copy !req
341. That's the funny thing
about life, you know?Copy !req
342. Its ups and downs.Copy !req
343. I mean, look at me.Copy !req
344. I mean, I'm on the way up,
and you on the way down.Copy !req
345. I'm not on my way down.Copy !req
346. Oh, you are,
a little bit, Eli.Copy !req
347. You know, but it don't matter.Copy !req
348. Here we are, just kind of
meeting in the middle.Copy !req
349. Just two chiefs sitting
inside of a tepee,Copy !req
350. just equals talking.Copy !req
351. I'm glad you're doing well.Copy !req
352. That's a real blessing,Copy !req
353. with the new baby coming
and all.Copy !req
354. You got a chance
to do it right this time.Copy !req
355. Don't do him
like you did Harmon.Copy !req
356. Don't go mentioning
that name.Copy !req
357. I never told Tiff
that I had another son.Copy !req
358. And now's not the time
to bring it upCopy !req
359. since I got
a brand-new son on the way.Copy !req
360. Very thoughtful of you.Copy !req
361. I was not
the best daddy to Harmon,Copy !req
362. but we live, and we learn.Copy !req
363. I mean, things
are going good for me now.Copy !req
364. I got a brand-new son
on the way.Copy !req
365. And I don't need my old son
fucking it up.Copy !req
366. You know, if this—
if this new one's bornCopy !req
367. while we're here on this visit,Copy !req
368. you on the hook
for financial support, right?Copy !req
369. - That's not how it works.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
370. It's just like them migrants do
with them anchor babies.Copy !req
371. Just take care
of your own responsibility.Copy !req
372. You are one temperamental
son of a gun.Copy !req
373. You know that?Copy !req
374. It was a joke, Eli.
Chill out, man.Copy !req
375. Everything goes
over his fucking head.Copy !req
376. What a dick.Copy !req
377. Dr. Gemstone?
This is just beautiful.Copy !req
378. The pageantry of it all.Copy !req
379. It's all Judy's doing.Copy !req
380. I'm just happy we were invited.Copy !req
381. Unlike the wedding.Copy !req
382. Isn't that the truth?Copy !req
383. I would have loved
to go to Disney World.Copy !req
384. But this is great.Copy !req
385. I mean, not just the party,Copy !req
386. but what a fascinating
ceremony.Copy !req
387. I have never been
to anything like that.Copy !req
388. Well, the water's
still warm.Copy !req
389. You're welcome
to be baptized next.Copy !req
390. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
391. No way.Copy !req
392. We're secular people.Copy !req
393. - Agnostic.
- Left of center progressive.Copy !req
394. They're from Asheville,
Daddy.Copy !req
395. They hate God.Copy !req
396. Well, God loves them, Judy.Copy !req
397. Uh, well, maybe someday.Copy !req
398. Not very likely.Copy !req
399. What kind of baptism
is this?Copy !req
400. I mean, she's acting
like it's a wedding.Copy !req
401. Yeah, of course she is.Copy !req
402. She thinks this is gonna
make up for not inviting DaddyCopy !req
403. to her real wedding.Copy !req
404. Eli's gonna waste
his money on thisCopy !req
405. and not invest in a timeshare
with the Lissons?Copy !req
406. Look at him over there,Copy !req
407. thinking he's
some kind of sex man,Copy !req
408. doing whatever the hell
he wants.Copy !req
409. Making us lose our goddamn
best friend couple.Copy !req
410. Fuck him.Copy !req
411. I'm gonna say something.Copy !req
412. Hey! So where's your girls?Copy !req
413. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
414. It means you're too busy
shaving pubesCopy !req
415. and dating cheap ladiesCopy !req
416. to see the destruction
you've wrought.Copy !req
417. We told the Lissons no
like you insisted.Copy !req
418. It broke their fucking hearts.Copy !req
419. So thank you for that.Copy !req
420. Jesse...Copy !req
421. I don't give a shit.Copy !req
422. Oh, my God.Copy !req
423. Look at you, BJ.Copy !req
424. All brand-new!Copy !req
425. Oh.Copy !req
426. A real Christian.Copy !req
427. A man worthy of respect.Copy !req
428. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
429. All the obstacles
you've overcome.Copy !req
430. All the shit-talkers.Copy !req
431. It's true.Copy !req
432. Your family has been
pretty terrible towards me.Copy !req
433. I'm talking
about your family.Copy !req
434. My family hasn't been
shit-talkers.Copy !req
435. They've been very supportive.Copy !req
436. Your mom won't stop
going off about babies.Copy !req
437. Ken backs her up.Copy !req
438. KJ's been
condescending as fuck,Copy !req
439. constantly talking
about how many roomsCopy !req
440. are in my house.Copy !req
441. BJ, she made a mockery of us.Copy !req
442. And by all rights,
you should have owned herCopy !req
443. in that moment.Copy !req
444. We really don't have
that kind of relationship.Copy !req
445. We just like
to laugh and stuff.Copy !req
446. Whatever.
Whatever.Copy !req
447. Look, I'm just trying
to help youCopy !req
448. to not be caught off-guardCopy !req
449. when someone is trying
to fuck you upCopy !req
450. and control you
and talk shit on you.Copy !req
451. Oh, okay.Copy !req
452. Want to know what she did?Copy !req
453. She tried to throw
your family's secular humanismCopy !req
454. into my daddy's face.Copy !req
455. Hold on. She did what?Copy !req
456. I wanted to kill her.Copy !req
457. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
458. It doesn't matter,
because you are a saved man.Copy !req
459. And because of that,Copy !req
460. nothing can stop our rise.Copy !req
461. And I just have to say,
I'm so happyCopy !req
462. that you're not gonna
burn in hell now.Copy !req
463. Whoa, you thought
I was gonna burn in hellCopy !req
464. all this time, Judy?Copy !req
465. That's really disturbing.Copy !req
466. BJ, I'm saying
something nice right now.Copy !req
467. You're right.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
468. This is an exciting day.Copy !req
469. - Mm-hmm.
- Let's not ruin it.Copy !req
470. The only ones
who could ruin itCopy !req
471. are the ones who try
to hold us back.Copy !req
472. Like your family.Copy !req
473. Nobody can hold us back.Copy !req
474. Not when I'm wearing this.Copy !req
475. Yeah, boy.Copy !req
476. Yeah, shake that cake.Copy !req
477. I'm thinking about doingCopy !req
478. one of them
natural water births.Copy !req
479. Oh, a very good option
for some people.Copy !req
480. Uh-uh, no, no, no.Copy !req
481. None of that
hippie primitive stuff for me.Copy !req
482. I'm a wealthy man now.Copy !req
483. My child's gonna be bornCopy !req
484. with the benefits
of modern technology.Copy !req
485. Well, my mama didn't have
none of that stuffCopy !req
486. when I was born.Copy !req
487. Yeah, but you
was a toilet baby.Copy !req
488. - Oh, yeah.
- A who, what?Copy !req
489. A toilet baby.Copy !req
490. See, Tiffany's mom was obese.Copy !req
491. Went through
her entire pregnancyCopy !req
492. without even knowing
she was pregnant.Copy !req
493. Ended up pushing this one outCopy !req
494. when she sat down
to do her bathroom business.Copy !req
495. Just, like...Copy !req
496. Tiff just plopped down
like a little old turd.Copy !req
497. Just—Copy !req
498. Right down in the bowl.Copy !req
499. Big eyes, like this...Copy !req
500. But it wasn't a turd.
It was me.Copy !req
501. That was you.Copy !req
502. Would you look at that.Copy !req
503. Oh, my God.Copy !req
504. What?
Not sure why you're laughing.Copy !req
505. Wait, this is not a joke?Copy !req
506. You're serious?
- It's a onesie.Copy !req
507. Oh, it's darling.Copy !req
508. He had one of those
when he was a baby.Copy !req
509. Mom, it's not a onesie.Copy !req
510. It's a romper
with a cummerbund.Copy !req
511. Okay, a romper.Copy !req
512. Ga-ga-goo-goo, little fellow.Copy !req
513. - No, don't make him giggle.
- Stop. Just stop.Copy !req
514. Get her, BJ.
Burn her to the ground.Copy !req
515. That attitude is partCopy !req
516. of what's held men back
fashion-wise.Copy !req
517. Okay? There's a whole world
out there to explore.Copy !req
518. It isn't just about separates.Copy !req
519. You are something else.Copy !req
520. He was very excited
about his clothing.Copy !req
521. Fuck you!Copy !req
522. Oh, he pisses me off
so much.Copy !req
523. I think I hate him.Copy !req
524. Oh, I think I might
hate his ass too.Copy !req
525. Daddy is such an a-hole.Copy !req
526. - Dude is the worst.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
527. I mean, he literally
ruins everything.Copy !req
528. Damn dope timeshare
investments,Copy !req
529. budding friendships
with pop stars,Copy !req
530. my fucking potential.Copy !req
531. I wish I could fight
that man.Copy !req
532. Just destroy Daddy.
I know I could.Copy !req
533. I could.
I'd make him look like a fool.Copy !req
534. All old, stupid, and weak.Copy !req
535. You should.
Somebody needs to.Copy !req
536. I have wanted to do that
so many times.Copy !req
537. Pop him right
in the fucking face.Copy !req
538. See, your daddy...Copy !req
539. now, he does not believeCopy !req
540. that a man can change.Copy !req
541. But I know better,Copy !req
542. because I myself have changed.Copy !req
543. I mean, look at me now.Copy !req
544. Highly successful after years
of financial hardship.Copy !req
545. People can change.Copy !req
546. And your daddy,
he don't realize that.Copy !req
547. Maybe you haven't heard
that he's been out and aboutCopy !req
548. having little sex encounters.Copy !req
549. What?Copy !req
550. Eli trying to fuck somebody?Copy !req
551. Multiple somebodies,
probably.Copy !req
552. Dude fancies himself
a damn cocksmith these days.Copy !req
553. Trying to make himself into
a big character for the ladies.Copy !req
554. Wow.
Eli Gemstone?Copy !req
555. Is it time to go?Copy !req
556. Can't you see
I'm sitting hereCopy !req
557. talking to my nephews?Copy !req
558. Well, he wants Funyuns.Copy !req
559. Will you get 'em for me,
Baby Billy?Copy !req
560. I ain't even got
my walking shoes on.Copy !req
561. But it's my cravings.Copy !req
562. All right, sweet angel.Copy !req
563. Well, can I at least
finish my mojito?Copy !req
564. Nephews.Copy !req
565. Goddamn, y'all up here
serving prime steak,Copy !req
566. all she wants
is some fuckin' Funyuns.Copy !req
567. Okay.Copy !req
568. Hi, Judy.Copy !req
569. Mm-mm.
Don't "Hi, Judy" me.Copy !req
570. 'Cause I see you, KJ.Copy !req
571. I know you're trying
to plant shit in BJ's headCopy !req
572. when you're all, "Oh, we could
have stayed at the mansion.Copy !req
573. There's so many rooms
at the mansion."Copy !req
574. You're being serious right now?Copy !req
575. I just wanted
to see your house.Copy !req
576. I'm not trying
to make fights.Copy !req
577. That's not
what I'm trying to do.Copy !req
578. I just want to tell you
that I know the score.Copy !req
579. Siblings have to hate
siblings' spouses.Copy !req
580. My brothers hate BJ too.Copy !req
581. Why do your brothers hate BJ?Copy !req
582. Duh, 'cause he took my ass
off the market, bitch.Copy !req
583. Jesse and Kelvin
might be my brothers,Copy !req
584. but that don't mean they're notCopy !req
585. sitting up in their rooms
at nightCopy !req
586. thinking someday they might
get to hook up with me.Copy !req
587. Ew, Judy, that's disgusting.Copy !req
588. I didn't say I was gonna do it.Copy !req
589. Okay? I don't know
how a man's mind works.Copy !req
590. I would never want
to hook up with BJ.Copy !req
591. You're telling me
you would not wantCopy !req
592. to fuck your fine-ass brother?Copy !req
593. No. I really wouldn't.Copy !req
594. Okay.Copy !req
595. What if I got a big old gunCopy !req
596. and I put it right
to your head and I said,Copy !req
597. "Ooh, KJ, I'm gonna kill you
unless you get nudeCopy !req
598. "right now in this living roomCopy !req
599. and fuck your brother
in front of me"?Copy !req
600. Then would you fuck him?Copy !req
601. I mean,
if you were gonna kill me.Copy !req
602. See? I knew it.Copy !req
603. I knew it.Copy !req
604. Don't be jealous, KJ.Copy !req
605. Your brother is mine.Copy !req
606. Stop fighting me for him.Copy !req
607. Everyone gets one proteinCopy !req
608. and one cheat dessert square.Copy !req
609. So you're the man
that raised BJ, huh?Copy !req
610. Oh, I can't
take credit for that.Copy !req
611. Yeah, I don't blame you.Copy !req
612. Man, fuck you, Jesse.Copy !req
613. Trying to own BJ's stepdad.Copy !req
614. You're so jelly.
- Oh, jelly? Of what?Copy !req
615. There's a new queen bee
in town.Copy !req
616. Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.Copy !req
617. I just spit facts, honey.Copy !req
618. You see that woman over there
with Daddy?Copy !req
619. That's a U.S. senator.Copy !req
620. This is mine and BJ's debut.Copy !req
621. We're making the scene, son,Copy !req
622. and you can expect
more to come.Copy !req
623. Look, I'll admit
your powers are growing, Judy.Copy !req
624. But everybody
in the church knowsCopy !req
625. that your husband is a joke.Copy !req
626. No offense, y'all.Copy !req
627. But I know that this little boy
is only getting baptizedCopy !req
628. 'cause he thinks
it's gonna make him fit in.Copy !req
629. And why would
anyone want to fit inCopy !req
630. to this train-wreck
of a family?Copy !req
631. Oh, KJ,
that's not very polite.Copy !req
632. No, Mom, I have to sayCopy !req
633. this is pretty much everything
I thought it was gonna be.Copy !req
634. BJ's making a huge mistake.Copy !req
635. These people are trash.Copy !req
636. - Trash?
- What did you say, bitch?Copy !req
637. Let me handle this, lollipop.Copy !req
638. You owe my family
an apology, KJ.Copy !req
639. They aren't you family.
We are.Copy !req
640. Look at what they did to you.Copy !req
641. This religion?
These clothes?Copy !req
642. It's not you, BJ.
You're not a Gemstone.Copy !req
643. I am a Gemstone!Copy !req
644. You!Copy !req
645. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
646. Are you okay, Daddy?Copy !req
647. I'm damn far from okay.Copy !req
648. You kids are an embarrassment.Copy !req
649. All of you!Copy !req
650. All of us?
I didn't even do anything.Copy !req
651. Yo!
We need to talk.Copy !req
652. I'm supposed to be
on my way to the Judean desert.Copy !req
653. You made me look like a fool
in front of my men.Copy !req
654. You make yourself
look like a fool.Copy !req
655. We found an entrance,Copy !req
656. but maybe now's
not the best time?Copy !req
657. - Mm-mm.
- Beat it.Copy !req
658. All of you, go!Copy !req
659. Don't you tell him
what to do.Copy !req
660. I'm his leader, not you.Copy !req
661. I'm all these guys's leader.Copy !req
662. Kelvin, I can no longer
support this ridiculous idea.Copy !req
663. It's not ridiculous.
You're ridiculous.Copy !req
664. A sinful old man,Copy !req
665. tomcatting around
with women of the night.Copy !req
666. You're a false prophet.Copy !req
667. What did you call me,
Kelvin Gemstone?Copy !req
668. You heard me, wrinkles.Copy !req
669. I am in no mood
for your theatrics, son.Copy !req
670. Now, it's time
you packed up those yurtsCopy !req
671. or whatever the hell
you call themCopy !req
672. and move them off the compound.Copy !req
673. Don't you say that.Copy !req
674. You're mad 'cause I won't
let you go to Israel?Copy !req
675. I'm not spending one cent
for you and your muscle boysCopy !req
676. to frolic in the desert.Copy !req
677. So we're not going
to the desert?Copy !req
678. Yes, we are!Copy !req
679. Not on my dime, Jack.Copy !req
680. Oh.Copy !req
681. How does it feel to be
on the receiving end, huh?Copy !req
682. About time somebody—ah!Copy !req
683. Ahh!Copy !req
684. Ow.Copy !req
685. Your mother's portrait.
Ruined.Copy !req
686. That could have killed me.
- I wish it would have.Copy !req
687. Ahh!Copy !req
688. Ahh!
- You say you're sorry.Copy !req
689. - No!
- Apologize now.Copy !req
690. - Never!
- Say you're sorryCopy !req
691. by the time I count to three.Copy !req
692. One...
- I'm not gonna say it.Copy !req
693. I'm not sorry.Copy !req
694. - Two...
- Sorry, not sorry.Copy !req
695. Three!Copy !req
696. I knew you weren't gonna do it.Copy !req
697. He ain't got the balls.Copy !req
698. No!Copy !req
699. Niece, I need to go home.
My feet are swollen.Copy !req
700. Well, then go home, dummy.Copy !req
701. Baby Billy ain't come back
with my Funyuns.Copy !req
702. Where the hell is he?Copy !req
703. What a complete shit show.Copy !req
704. It was such a piece of shit.Copy !req
705. Yo, amigo,
where's our ride?Copy !req
706. The host only made
arrangements for Dr. Gemstone.Copy !req
707. What? How the fuck
are we supposed to get home?Copy !req
708. Uber?Copy !req
709. Nah.Copy !req
710. We're taking this one.
- Yeah.Copy !req
711. - The hell was that?
- I don't know.Copy !req
712. I'm gonna have to pull over
and check under the hood.Copy !req
713. Coolant's drained.
I'll have to grab some more.Copy !req
714. The hell you telling me for?
Just go fucking do it.Copy !req
715. Oh, she tried
to come for us.Copy !req
716. And look how that turned out.Copy !req
717. That was a disaster.Copy !req
718. Once again,Copy !req
719. you and I are the only ones
with our shit together.Copy !req
720. Trying to expand the businessCopy !req
721. while everybody else
is in-fighting,Copy !req
722. looking like fools.Copy !req
723. Stupid.Copy !req
724. I had no idea Eli had
so much brutality in him.Copy !req
725. Oh, you didn't know
he was like that?Copy !req
726. No, Daddy can be
a straight-up monster.Copy !req
727. Trust me, you do not want
to get that dude in a corner.Copy !req
728. Kelvin fucked around
and found out.Copy !req
729. Brap-brap. Wassup?Copy !req
730. Ahh! Shit!Copy !req