The Ren & Stimpy Show 2x11

Directed by Bob Camp

Ren and Stimpy want the easy life of living in a zoo. They disguise themselves as monkeys and try to hang in there.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. We interrupt this program

2. for a special report.

3. This is ace reporter, Ren Hoek here in times square

4. to have a word with our returning boys.

5. Ah, here's one now.

6. Excuse me, Mr. Horse.

7. That's private horse, civilian.

8. Tell me, private horse,

9. how does it feel to be home?

10. Mmm...

11. Good!

12. Mighty good.

13. Yes, sir, I think America

14. is the greatest country in the world.

15. Yes, sir, I like it.

16. How do you feel about the president's decisions

17. during this terrible crisis?

18. Hmm... president.

19. Gotta know about the president, ey?

20. All right, if that's the way it is.

21. I think the president did what he had to do.

22. A lot of people suffered, including me.

23. But I would have done the same thing,

24. had I been in his hooves.

25. Yes, sir, I would.

26. It's our duty to make America a safe place

27. for our kids to graze in.

28. Say...

29. who's this pretty lady?

30. Is that your fiancee?

31. No, it's my sheep!

32. Well, there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth.

33. I'm Ren Hoek, ace reporter.

34. I just love to hear from our fans,

35. don't you, Stimpy?

36. Duh, yeah, Ren!

37. Hey, listen to this one!

38. It's from little Anthony.

39. He says, "dear Ren and Stimpy,

40. "I hope you can visit us in our country...

41. The united states of America.

42. And please bring your costumes.

43. Signed, Anthony.

44. Whaddaya say, Ren?

45. Sure thing, pal.

46. Joy!

47. Hee hee, happy!

48. Well, we'd better kiss the wives good-bye.

49. Hee hee hee.

50. Well, we're off to America.

51. It's Ren and Stimpy, mom!

52. Oh, boy!

53. They're my favorite cartoon characters!

54. Can I keep 'em?

55. Well...

56. we'll have to ask your father.

57. But it's all right with me.

58. Yipeee!

59. We're gonna have so much fun together!

60. Oh, wait 'til your father sees!

61. Hey, fellas, let's play!

62. I have the real Ren and Stimpy!

63. Hey!

64. Will you make me laugh in person?

65. You guys are so funny!

66. Oh, pffft!

67. I know!

68. Will you do that thing where your eyes bug out

69. and veins fill up on 'em

70. and you look all ugly and everything?

71. Wise up, kid, that's a trick.

72. It's done with puppets and stew meat.

73. What?

74. Ren, at least give it a try.

75. He loves you!

76. Hmm... okay, kid, watch.

77. I'll show you the secret.

78. Yay, yay!

79. Ow, ow ow ow ow!

80. Ow, ow-ow-ow-ow ow, ow, ow!

81. Wow, let me try!

82. Hey, it's my turn!

83. You guys are my best friends.

84. Let's never go to sleep.

85. Never go to... never go to...

86. go... to sleep...

87. What... ?

88. No, no!

89. What are you doing?

90. Cartoon characters don't do that!

91. Oh, for—

92. Anthony!

93. You're hyperventilating!

94. Oh, my poor baby!

95. What did they do to you?

96. Shame on you!

97. What, what? What did we do?

98. You're destroying his youthful fantasies!

99. I hope for your sake

100. father doesn't find out about this!

101. My word!

102. People.

103. Let's get some things straight here.

104. I don't like you.

105. I don't like cartoons.

106. You're here for one reason...

107. my son, Anthony likes you.

108. And as long as you're good to my boy,

109. you can stay.

110. But if you do anything to destroy his beliefs

111. Or harm him in any way,

112. so... help... me.

113. Ex— Excuse me.

114. Don't you even put that picture in my head!

115. Do we understand each other?

116. We understand very well.

117. Daddy?

118. Daddy... ?

119. Yes, son?

120. Can Ren and Stimpy come out and play?

121. Oh, yes, son.

122. You should play with your swell, new friends.

123. Remember what I said.

124. Eee...

125. uhh...

126. ugh!

127. Oh, no!

128. It's victor, the school bully.

129. Don't make him mad.

130. Who's your new friends, Anthony?

131. Look, victor, don't you recognize them?

132. It's Ren and Stimpy, the famous cartoon stars.

133. Oh, yeah, sure.

134. You're not Ren Hoek, you're not even a chihuahua.

135. You're some kind of deformed mosquito or somethin'.

136. Don't talk to me like that.

137. I'm a Hollywood big shot.

138. Oh, yeah?

139. I'll twist your head off!

140. Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

141. Oh— oh, and I suppose you're Stimpy,

142. the stupid cat?

143. Here, I'll give you something you'll really like.

144. Happy... happy... joy... joy...

145. Hey!

146. You can't do that to my friends!

147. I'll show you!

148. Like I even believe a fart like you

149. would be friends with Ren and Stimpy!

150. Next time I see you, kid, you're dead meat!

151. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

152. Nice goin', son.

153. Heh... heh, heh.

154. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

155. Oh, no, he's hyperventilating again!

156. Come on, kid, snap out of it!

157. What's all the commotion?

158. No...

159. no!

160. Snap out of it, I tell you!

161. Get off.

162. Get off my son!

163. Ohh... oh, Anthony, my beloved child!

164. I know I strayed from your path

165. and maybe I don't go to church often enough,

166. but you know I'm a good man.

167. I don't ask for much.

168. But I'm asking for this one thing.

169. Please... don't take my boy from me.

170. Give him a couple more good weeks.

171. I didn't do it, man.

172. All right, you two, you march into the house.

173. Meet me in the den!

174. You— You're gonna be all right, boy.

175. Just take it easy.

176. Be brave with me, hush, now.

177. Daddy... will make them pay!

178. Oh, ho ho... ah!

179. You guys are big shots!

180. Ha ha!

181. Big shots from Hollywood!

182. Is that what makes you feel big, huh?

183. Pushing little boys around?

184. You feel like big men

185. playing with little boys' feelings, huh?

186. You Hollywood types make me sick!

187. You think because you come from... Hollywood

188. you can push decent people around.

189. People who work for a living!

190. I work my fingers to the bone

191. to feed my wife and...

192. My boy, Anthony.

193. Oh, Anthony, you've got to pull through.

194. I bet you wussies never worked a stinkin' day

195. in your stinkin' little lives.

196. Show me your hands!

197. Just as I thought, soft as a baby's head.

198. Well, look at these hands.

199. These are the hands of a working man!

200. What'd you ever do for society anyway?

201. Just what do you do to earn your keep?

202. Uh... well, we make people laugh.

203. Real hard work, making people laugh.

204. Did you go to school to make people laugh?

205. Listen!

206. I make people laugh, too!

207. But nobody gives me money!

208. You wanna hear a joke? Hee hee hee...

209. well, I...

210. I'll tell ya a joke.

211. And you're gonna laugh!

212. All right, here's the joke.

213. You ready?

214. Why did they bury the fireman—

215. ha ha ha ha ha—

216. behind the hill? Ha ha ha ha.

217. Come on, funny guys, huh?

218. Huh, huh? Why?

219. We don't know why they buried the fireman behind the hill.

220. I'll tell you why.

221. Because he was... dead!

222. Ha ha ha ha!

223. That's pretty good, huh, Ren?

224. Maybe we can use that.

225. All right, funny guys...

226. I wanna know something.

227. I just wanna know one thing.

228. Just one thing from you!

229. So what makes you guys move, anyway?

230. Oop!

231. Ha ha ha ha ha!

232. Ha ha ha ha ha!

233. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life!

234. Ha ha ha!

235. Do it again, ah ha ha ha!

236. Wharf!

237. Hey, honey, bring Anthony in here!

238. Ya gotta see this!

239. Hey, funny guys, do it again for my boy.

240. Wharf!

241. Oh, my goodness, that is funny.

242. Do it again!

243. Whaarf!

244. I really love those guys.

245. Ah, ha ha ha!

246. Today, we're at the U.N. For a global summit

247. to discuss the current world crisis.

248. Today's residing chairman is Mr. Horse.

249. Mr. Horse, today we face a world crisis.

250. Yet, while initial indications would suggest

251. a political backwash that characterizes

252. the devastating brouhaha we face today,

253. your administration has refused to budge

254. on these compromise proposals!

255. Nevertheless, many believe a relief effort

256. emphasizing the urgency of the situation

257. would serve as sort of a catalyst

258. during a slow, global upswing.

259. Foreign interest may be moderately optimistic,

260. but superpower co-Sponsors have left

261. a generally negative impression

262. in the wake of political failure.

263. Well, Mr. Horse, what I'm getting at is,

264. just what is your opinion of the world situation today?

265. Hmm...

266. las cucarachas entran, pero no pueden salir.

267. No sir, he doesn't like it.

268. Thank you, Mr. Horse.

269. Captioning made possible by comedy central

270. Captioned by Soundwriters™