1. Hey, kid,
you want a toy?Copy !req
2. Uh-huh, uh-huh.Copy !req
3. How about a bike?Copy !req
4. No.Copy !req
5. A video game?Copy !req
6. No!Copy !req
7. Well, okay,
you pick a toy.Copy !req
8. Hmm, I want...Copy !req
9. log!Copy !req
10. Boy, oh, boy.Copy !req
11. Yes, log.Copy !req
12. All kids love log.Copy !req
13. log, from "blammo".Copy !req
14. Look at you, man.Copy !req
15. You're a full-grown cat,
still watching cartoons.Copy !req
16. Why, you're 3 years old!Copy !req
17. Do you know what that is
in human years?Copy !req
18. Oh, listen to me, man,
I'm your friend.Copy !req
19. Don't you know cartoons
will ruin your mind?Copy !req
20. Look what it's
done to your brain.Copy !req
21. Eee!Copy !req
22. Shhh...Copy !req
23. And now, kids,Copy !req
24. it's time for the
Muddy Mudskipper Show!Copy !req
25. And now, a word
from our sponsor.Copy !req
26. The Muddy Mudskipper ShowCopy !req
27. is brought to you
by "Gritty Kitty Litter".Copy !req
28. Friends, do you use
Gritty Kitty Litter?Copy !req
29. Then you know
about its absorbency...Copy !req
30. its fragrance...Copy !req
31. it's like the smell
of fresh bison!Copy !req
32. It sticks to
any surface.Copy !req
33. It's great
as a between-meal snack.Copy !req
34. And how 'bout that
wonderful feeling you getCopy !req
35. when you squish it
between your toes?Copy !req
36. So, remember, folks,Copy !req
37. if it doesn't say
"Gritty Kitty", it stinks.Copy !req
38. And now, for all you
kiddies at home,Copy !req
39. I'd like to
announce a contest!Copy !req
40. We'd like you to
write us a poemCopy !req
41. of 47 million words
or less,Copy !req
42. telling us why you love
Gritty Kitty Litter.Copy !req
43. Whoever writes
the best poem will win...Copy !req
44. $47 million,Copy !req
45. a lifetime supply
of goat cheese,Copy !req
46. a 12-hour record set of
the top hits of the '70s,Copy !req
47. but best of all,
a trip to HollywoodCopy !req
48. and a guest appearance on the
Muddy Mudskipper Show!Copy !req
49. "Gritty kitty
ain't so pretty,Copy !req
50. But it's really...
thick."Copy !req
51. Well, you're
out of your mind.Copy !req
52. "It fills my cat box,
oh, so snug...Copy !req
53. "it always
does the trick.Copy !req
54. "I like to rub it
on my toesCopy !req
55. "and squish
and squish and squish.Copy !req
56. "It never offends
my tender nose...Copy !req
57. "like a smelly fish.Copy !req
58. "Its texture
is a joy to me,Copy !req
59. "it's just as smooth
as silk.Copy !req
60. "It makes my little
whiskers twitch...Copy !req
61. it stays crunchy,
even in milk.Copy !req
62. Aah!Copy !req
63. "It stays crunchy,
even in milk.Copy !req
64. "I may not be the president,
I may not be the pope.Copy !req
65. "But as long as
I have gritty kitty...Copy !req
66. I shall never mope."Copy !req
67. Where are you going?Copy !req
68. I tell you,
these contests are a scam.Copy !req
69. Nobody ever wins them,
don't be a sucker.Copy !req
70. But I wanna meet
muddy mudskipper.Copy !req
71. Oh, you ee-diot!Copy !req
72. He's just
a cartoon character,Copy !req
73. not real, not flesh
and blood like we!Copy !req
74. I'm telling you,
cartoons aren't real.Copy !req
75. They're— they're—Copy !req
76. uh, they're buppets!Copy !req
77. Eee!Copy !req
78. If you put that
letter in the box,Copy !req
79. you're a bigger fool
than I thought.Copy !req
80. I'm telling you right now,
you let go of that letterCopy !req
81. or I'm going to lose
all respect for you.Copy !req
82. Are you listening?Copy !req
83. Oh, forgive me, Ren!Copy !req
84. Please forgive me!Copy !req
85. I could not help myself!Copy !req
86. Nope, can't,
won't forgive you.Copy !req
87. Nope, nope, forget it.Copy !req
88. No way.Copy !req
89. Night, Ren.Copy !req
90. Uh, listen, Stimpy,
I, uh...Copy !req
91. Yes, what is it?Copy !req
92. Are you
Stimpson J. Cat?Copy !req
93. Oh, you want Stimpy.Copy !req
94. Uh, he's in there.Copy !req
95. Well, would you tell him
he's won $47 million?Copy !req
96. Right, uh, 47 million,
I'll get him.Copy !req
97. 47 million...
dollars!Copy !req
98. I'm the cat!Copy !req
99. See?
I'm the cat!Copy !req
100. See?
I told you.Copy !req
101. I'm the cat!Copy !req
102. What's up, Ren?Copy !req
103. Nothing, rover,Copy !req
104. go back to
your doghouse!Copy !req
105. Congratulations,
Mr. Stimpy.Copy !req
106. Your wonderful poem
won first prize!Copy !req
107. It's my money!Copy !req
108. I wrote
that poem!Copy !req
109. Stimpy cheated!Copy !req
110. I always use
your stinky old litter.Copy !req
111. Look how I love it!Copy !req
112. Mmm!Copy !req
113. Go on,
get out of here!Copy !req
114. Who needs ya?Copy !req
115. Muddy mudskipper?Copy !req
116. I can't believe it,
you're my idol!Copy !req
117. Yeah, yeah, kid, I know,
don't sweat it.Copy !req
118. Someday you're gonna
be big, bigger than me!Copy !req
119. Stick with me, kid,Copy !req
120. I was once a lousy bum
just like you.Copy !req
121. I crawled my way up out of
the mud to get where I am.Copy !req
122. You wanna make it
in this world,Copy !req
123. you gotta adapt.Copy !req
124. Ever breathe oxygen,
son?Copy !req
125. Good, don't start.Copy !req
126. Me, I'm hooked.Copy !req
127. Get it?Copy !req
128. Shut up!Copy !req
129. Five minutes to airtime.Copy !req
130. Well, kid,
this is your big break.Copy !req
131. You're gonna be great.Copy !req
132. Ya lousy bum.Copy !req
133. There's a new face
in Hollywood today.Copy !req
134. It's fresh,
it's redundant...Copy !req
135. let's give him
a warm welcomeCopy !req
136. because his whole career depends
on this next important message!Copy !req
137. Well, I've been—Copy !req
138. Oh, hello!Copy !req
139. You're just in time for another
one of my breakfast tips.Copy !req
140. And what have we here?Copy !req
141. A brand-new
box of cereal.Copy !req
142. And what's inside?Copy !req
143. A prize!Copy !req
144. Let's try a little experiment,
shall we?Copy !req
145. Get your hand
out of that box!Copy !req
146. How many times
do I have to tell you?Copy !req
147. You can't open a new boxCopy !req
148. until you finish
the last box!Copy !req
149. Do you think that
money grows on trees?Copy !req
150. Do I have to—Copy !req
151. sounds familiar.Copy !req
152. Do you know how lucky you are
we even have cereal?Copy !req
153. Why, when I was your age,
we ate wood and rocks!Copy !req
154. Hey!Copy !req
155. Cripes,
I'm late for work!Copy !req
156. Remember, keep your
filthy mittsCopy !req
157. out of that cereal box!Copy !req
158. So when you're faced
with this problem,Copy !req
159. do what I do.Copy !req
160. First, get a big bowl and
pour all the cereal in it.Copy !req
161. Yes!Copy !req
162. I can hardly wait
to see what it is!Copy !req
163. Joy!Copy !req
164. It's a muddy mudskipper
cereal bowl caddy!Copy !req
165. Now, boys and girls,Copy !req
166. just pour the cereal
back in the box,Copy !req
167. close the lid and...
it's as good as new!Copy !req
168. Then you put it awayCopy !req
169. and no one
will ever know.Copy !req
170. Join us again for more
"Stimpy's breakfast tips".Copy !req
171. Bye for now!Copy !req