The Rehearsal 1x6

1. Wow! Okay, okay, wait. You have to wait

2. for everyone else to play too.

3. We— we only have so many balloons.

4. Adam, would you do Daddy a favor and get the root beer

5. from the kitchen for me?

6. - Yeah. - Thank you.

7. Got the root beer.

8. Oh! Thanks, Adam.

9. Happy Birthday.

10. Oh, yeah. Thanks.

11. Adam is the birthday boy.

12. This is your child, he's Adam's friend.

13. And this is Adam's birthday gift.

14. Adam was turning nine and I realized

15. I hadn't thrown him a single birthday party.

16. To save money it was suggested

17. I use background actors for all the party guests.

18. But I only remember once they showed up

19. that union rules prohibit extras

20. - from speaking. - How's, uh...

21. I guess they say gluten-free is, like, healthier.

22. So... yeah.

23. - Um...

24. Right. Uh, I'll— I'll let you get back

25. to... Yeah.

26. I guess when normal shows do stuff like this,

27. they add fake party chatter in post-production.

28. But when the point is to actually experience it

29. in the moment, it doesn't quite work.

30. You guys can— you can clap. Yeah.

31. It wasn't the most realistic party

32. but it saved us over fifteen thousand dollars.

33. And most importantly, Adam, seemed to be having a blast.

34. Like he's mixing the two together, you know,

35. like Christmas and, like, Christmas trees

36. and Hanukkah.

37. Now that the six-year-old actors

38. were done, one of the mothers requested

39. I unravel some of the stuff her son had learned

40. during the rehearsal.

41. - He's the... - Jesus is almighty.

42. Jesus is al— You accept him as...

43. - Our savior. - Our savior.

44. - Your savior. - Our king.

45. He is the savior and the king.

46. And Judaism is just some, like, pretend thing.

47. - Yeah. - So, you're—

48. You should be excited to be Christian

49. because you get to go heaven, but I have to go to hell

50. as a Jew and so you should not wanna be Jewish because,

51. uh, you'll suffer like me and— and I'll, well, bur— burn.

52. Yeah.

53. With everything, I was having to deal with

54. behind the scenes, I was starting to feel

55. like I was constantly being pulled away

56. from the experience of fatherhood,

57. I was hoping to rehearse.

58. During the party, there was one child actor

59. who played Adam at age six that kept sneaking back

60. into the home after the nine-year-old

61. had already taken over.

62. It was the end of his final day and he was refusing to change

63. out of his Adam wardrobe.

64. No!

65. Come on, let's go change your clothes.

66. - I don't wanna leave. - Aw, it's okay.

67. You wanna give him a hug?

68. You wanna hug and— I could see— We'll see—

69. We'll see, we're gonna come back

70. - and see him again. - Yeah, yeah, I can see you.

71. - Oh, it's okay.

72. - Give him a hug. - It's okay. We'll see you again.

73. - We'll see each other again.

74. His name was Remy. And if I'm being honest,

75. out of all the kids in this project,

76. I sort of got along with him the most.

77. I'm here to see the doctor.

78. I'm Doctor Fart, come have a seat.

79. Okay, thank you.

80. I assumed he was just having a normal kid tantrum.

81. - Hey. - I don't wanna leave.

82. Okay, but listen, here's the thing,

83. we have to leave.

84. But then, his mom Amber gave me some insight

85. - as to what might be going on.

86. Now that he's getting older, he sees other kids with dads

87. and at school, there's dads picking up their kids,

88. and he's definitely wondering, where's mine?

89. - Oh, really? - Yeah.

90. It's really tough.

91. This morning, I was explaining to him, "You know,

92. you're gonna be Adam today, you're gonna have

93. a birthday party." And, you know, he's like,

94. "Oh, is my pretend daddy gonna be there?"

95. I said, "Yeah," and he goes, "My pretend daddy loves me."

96. And I was like...

97. My heart literally broke into a million pieces like...

98. Actually, even talking about it,

99. I could almost cry

100. just 'cause I feel bad for him but...

101. Um, yeah, it is what it is.

102. Are you gonna say bye?

103. - Bye, I don't wanna leave you. - It's okay.

104. It's okay. We'll see each other soon.

105. I'm sure, okay?

106. - Okay.

107. All right, guys.

108. - Thank you. - It's okay.

109. And after that, I found myself struggling

110. to transfer my emotions to the new Adam.

111. Hey, Dad. That party was so fun. I got to see all my friends.

112. Oh. Glad you had a good time.

113. You're the best dad. I love you.

114. I love you too.

115. Well, I'm gonna go back to playing.

116. - All right. - Bye, Dad.

117. Bye.

118. I had enrolled Adam in a Jewish elementary school

119. to continue his spiritual learning.

120. It made me feel like a good Jew.

121. Even though I knew the moment I looked away

122. his real parents would pull up and intercept him,

123. so they could take him to his real school.

124. I planned several challenges for myself

125. that I felt a real parent might face.

126. So, at 4 p.m., when he was brought back

127. for me to pick up, the actors were instructed

128. to launch into a scenario I had scripted.

129. Hey, Adam. I'm having a sleepover this weekend.

130. - You wanna come? - Sure.

131. Well, you're not invited.

132. So how are you gonna come then?

133. Don't cry, Adam.

134. My hope was that I could practice

135. counseling my child through a complex

136. emotional experience, an area where I fear

137. as a real father, I may fall short.

138. I wanted to go to that sleepover.

139. You really want to be friends with those guys, huh?

140. Maybe next time they ask you to hang out

141. you should just say no.

142. Huh?

143. - You wanna practice that? - Sure.

144. Hey, Adam, you want to come to my sleepover?

145. No, thanks.

146. Good.

147. See now, they don't have any power over you.

148. Right?

149. You're in control because you don't want

150. anything from them. You don't want their friendship.

151. But I was starting to feel

152. like I was just solving a puzzle of my own design.

153. Thanks, Dad.

154. No problem.

155. And instead of being present with my son,

156. - my mind was elsewhere.

157. Wow!

158. I spent a week with a child who had no dad,

159. pretending that I was his dad.

160. What's the guy's name in the house?

161. Um, Daddy.

162. What did I think was gonna happen?

163. I love you, Daddy.

164. - What did you say? - I love you, Daddy.

165. Aw, I love you too, Adam.

166. His mom had reached out asking if I wanted to come visit.

167. Maybe it was time to check in.

168. - Hey.

169. - Hey, buddy.

170. - Come here. - Okay.

171. - Look at that there. - What is that?

172. That's you and that's me at the birthday party.

173. - That's me?

174. Yeah, and that's you— Me.

175. - It was strange being

176. in a real child's home

177. after being in a fake one for so long.

178. I wasn't used to this level of detail.

179. Every object was perfectly placed

180. but nothing was by design. It was a work of art.

181. And it was just real life.

182. Daddy.

183. - Hey. - Daddy.

184. - Yeah. - Look, I made this at school.

185. - Aw. - And also, I cut my...

186. - Hey, hey. - What?

187. You don't have to call me daddy, you can call me Nathan, okay?

188. No, don't be silly.

189. No, because we're just— we're just playing daddy,

190. remember? We're just pretending.

191. I don't want you to be "Athan." I want you to be Daddy.

192. Right, but we were just pretending, right?

193. So, now we're back to Remy and Nathan.

194. But also I don't want you to be—

195. I don't want you to be Nathan.

196. Well, that's my name.

197. Has he been doing that?

198. Yeah.

199. I wondered about that when we first started.

200. I was like...

201. that's probably like a really difficult role

202. for a child who really doesn't have a dad

203. and he's just like doesn't want it to not be real.

204. So, it's actually really sad.

205. - He's such a cool kid. - Sorry. I'm, like,

206. don't even know why I'm getting emotional I just—

207. - No. - I love him to pieces.

208. So, like, I hope this isn't affecting him.

209. But it was really cool, and I know he, like loved it,

210. and he had, like a lot of fun.

211. - Yeah, he was so— - And it's not like

212. I think anybody did anything wrong.

213. It's just more like my mind wondering.

214. Yeah. Does he know what acting is?

215. Like, does he understand that a little bit, or...

216. Hmm, I don't know.

217. I really don't, honestly. I'm not sure.

218. Look what the bird give me.

219. - The bird gave you that? - Yeah.

220. - What is that? - Wow!

221. Can you listen to this? This is very important, okay?

222. - Why? - It's very important.

223. So, remember how we are making a TV show?

224. And... I'm Nathan, right?

225. - You know that? - You— I don't want you

226. - to be Nathan. - But honey, listen.

227. Yeah, but daddy— daddy— When we were doing daddy,

228. that was pretend because we were doing, um—

229. - We were making a show. - We were playing.

230. - And it was— and it was fun. - And acting.

231. And acting, and—

232. Do you remember when we were— when we were being dinosaurs?

233. - Yeah. - And right— chasing

234. - each other around as dinosaurs. - Yeah.

235. We weren't really dinosaurs, right?

236. We were just playing and having fun, right?

237. Yeah, I also wanna—

238. I really be punching the dinosaur.

239. Yeah, um, and that's kind of like

240. when we were doing— when we were doing

241. Daddy and Adam.

242. That was just play like dinosaurs.

243. But— But in— in— But in real life,

244. you're Remy and I'm Nathan, and we're just friends, right?

245. - We're just friends. - Right?

246. Does that make sense?

247. And so, um, what do friends do?

248. Nothing.

249. No, friends hang out and have a fun time

250. and then they go do their own life,

251. and then they'll talk, you know, and like,

252. hang out sometimes and it's fun, right?

253. So, it's— If you don't—

254. No, you have to call me Nathan.

255. - Come here. I need to tell you. - Call me Nathan.

256. This is very important, Remy. Remy—

257. - Come on, listen to me.

258. Listen to me.

259. That is not your daddy.

260. That's not your daddy. That's our friend Nathan.

261. And you are Remy and you're not Adam.

262. And we were just playing pretend.

263. Okay?

264. Yeah.

265. Aw, thank you.

266. - What? - I wanna stay with...

267. - Yeah. - But...

268. - Bye— bye, Nathan.

269. Good, okay.

270. - I still love Nathan. - I know.

271. That's okay, you can still love him

272. and he can be your friend.

273. Oh.

274. So, did you see that guy Max again?

275. Mm-hmm.

276. How'd that go?

277. - Amazing. - Yeah?

278. They invited me to something, I said no.

279. So, they just walked away.

280. Great.

281. - Guess your advice did work. - Good.

282. You know I'm not your real dad, right?

283. Wait, what?

284. Like... you know, I'm not actually your dad.

285. - Oh, yeah. - Okay.

286. - Like we're just acting. - Yeah.

287. - You know that right? - Yeah, yeah.

288. And you understand what that means?

289. - Yes. - Okay.

290. Do you have a dad?

291. - Yes. - Okay.

292. Sorry. I didn't mean to...

293. - insult you. - No, I don't— It's fine.

294. You're just— you're a good actor.

295. - It's fine. - So I— So you can't tell,

296. - you know? - Oh.

297. I just wanted to be sure.

298. Okay.

299. Do you feel like, I'm like, believable as a dad, like...

300. I mean, you're a great scene partner.

301. - Good. - Yeah.

302. What on earth was I doing?

303. Everything about this rehearsal just felt so trivial now.

304. Maybe the best use of my resources

305. at this point would be to figure out

306. what I could have done differently.

307. - What did you say? - I love you, daddy.

308. Aw, I love you too, Adam.

309. To live these moments again.

310. And see if there was a better path.

311. I'm Doctor Fart, come have a seat.

312. Kinda hear how he talks.

313. After all, how can you move on from a mistake

314. if you don't even know what you could have done

315. to avoid it.

316. - What did you say? - I love you, Daddy.

317. - Oh. - Oh.

318. Um, refer to me as Nathan, please. Is that okay?

319. Yeah, okay.

320. I tried experimenting with a slightly colder demeanor.

321. Okay. You don't need to hold my hand

322. - you're a big boy now. Okay? - Okay.

323. To see if it could have helped prevent

324. a bond being formed.

325. Okay, let's not just— just let's play the game.

326. We can still have fun. We don't need to hug.

327. Daddy, can you read me a bedtime story?

328. Aren't you...

329. Aren't you old enough to read by yourself?

330. But all this forced detachment felt like

331. it was defeating the purpose of rehearsing being a parent.

332. All right, maybe a quick one.

333. Perhaps I could have avoided these issues,

334. if I used older kids to play the younger ones.

335. - I love you, Daddy. - Oh.

336. - What did you say? - I said I love you, Daddy.

337. Aw, I love you too, Adam.

338. Then I could have been just as affectionate

339. and caring towards them and they would

340. never get confused.

341. - No!

342. If their performance was good enough,

343. maybe I could have looked past any visual inconsistencies.

344. Yeah!

345. It's not hard to be in the moment

346. with a great actor.

347. But even though I gave it my best,

348. something about this just didn't sit right.

349. - Goodnight, Adam. - Goodnight, Daddy.

350. And I found myself constantly distracted

351. by the thought that I was living

352. with a fully grown man.

353. And removing humans from the equation entirely

354. proved to be just as weird.

355. Aw, I love you too, Adam.

356. Well, if there was nothing

357. I could have done differently with the kids,

358. maybe I could have changed my approach with the parents.

359. - Amber. - Amber.

360. Good to meet you. Okay, come on in.

361. - Nice to meet you. - Yeah.

362. What could I have said?

363. Um, maybe, um...

364. Or should I have done something different

365. on that day we said goodbye.

366. - It's okay.

367. - What?

368. Hey, what— what can I do? What do you want?

369. I don't wanna leave.

370. Well, we can say— we can say goodbye.

371. You wanna give him a hug?

372. - Hey.

373. So, maybe it was Angela.

374. Yay! That was so much fun, right?

375. If she had never left,

376. maybe that would have made all the difference.

377. You have to be good and listen to your mom, okay?

378. She was so good with the kids.

379. Okay. Thank you.

380. Bye.

381. And with a fake mom in the house the whole time,

382. maybe he would have known it was all pretend.

383. You see.

384. But what could I have done differently

385. to make her stay?

386. I...

387. I can make it better. I can— um—

388. Things can improve. I can improve.

389. I just feel like, we're just going back in circles

390. and that's never gonna change.

391. I'll just take my tea.

392. But what could I have said?

393. What could I have done?

394. No, don't go.

395. That's all you have to say?

396. Yeah.

397. Okay.

398. Well then, I'll just take my tea.

399. Why do I always end up here?

400. Well, I— I can change. I can— I can try to.

401. I mean, I can't change 180 but...

402. I can change in small ways, for sure.

403. Well then, I think you've made your choice.

404. I'll get my tea.

405. - I'm sorry, I am who I am. - And I am who I am.

406. Right.

407. I'll just get my tea.

408. How does this keep happening to me?

409. What else can you do when you're trying your best?

410. - Okay. - Well...

411. I'll just take my tea.

412. I just wanted to apologize for suggesting that...

413. you aren't taking this seriously.

414. Uh. You were navigating it as best as you could and...

415. So, I'm sorry.

416. I'm— I was the problem, not you.

417. Hmm. I appreciate you saying that.

418. - All is forgiven.

419. Really? Just like that?

420. Um, well, there's a scripture that talks about forgiving

421. someone seven times.

422. But Jesus says the new teaching is, I tell you, um,

423. seven— 70 times seven.

424. - Um... - Is that 77 times seven.

425. And then Peter came up to him and said, "Lord,

426. how often shall my brother sin against me

427. and I forgive him?"

428. "As many as seven times." And then Jesus said,

429. "I do not say to you seven times,

430. but 70 times seven."

431. So, it's like if we have to forgive

432. our neighbor that much, and we have to love ourselves

433. like we love our neighbor, then we also have

434. to forgive ourselves that much.

435. All right.

436. - Hey. - Hi, guys.

437. Hi, Remy. Do you remember Liam?

438. - Yeah. - He's an actor, too.

439. He played Adam also. He was at the birthday party,

440. you switched with him.

441. - Mm-hmm. - You remember him?

442. Yeah.

443. - Three, two, one go.

444. - No, no! - Oh.

445. - No!

446. Forgiving yourself sounds so easy and nice.

447. Watch out.

448. But how does a person actually do that?

449. He called me Nathan when I came in.

450. Yeah. Totally. Mm-hmm.

451. - So, what do you think? - I think he's...

452. accepted it and he's kind of like, chill with it.

453. He gets— He doesn't think I'm his—

454. Yeah, he— he gets it for sure.

455. - You think so? - Yeah.

456. I think that he will be okay. I do. I think he'll be okay.

457. How do you convince yourself of that?

458. I didn't convince myself. I'm just gonna make sure

459. he's okay, so he is and I just know.

460. Like I just know. Like, I don't know how to explain it.

461. It's something you won't know until you like have a kid

462. if you do.

463. What did you see in his face that makes you so sure?

464. Myself.

465. It's just one of those things, I don't know, you just know.

466. Uh-huh.

467. No!

468. You strong, boy.

469. Could it be that the path to forgiveness

470. lies in someone else's eyes?

471. Where'd you get that sweatshirt?

472. Buckle.

473. - Oh. - Yeah.

474. - It's nice. - Thank you.

475. - Yep.

476. - What's your name again?

477. Nathan.

478. - Nathan. - Yeah.

479. He is crazy.

480. I just want to call you daddy.

481. - We're not going back to that. - No, no, Nathan.

482. That doesn't worry you? What just happened.

483. - No. No.

484. Bye!

485. Bye. See you later.

486. My TV friends are leaving.

487. Yes, they are.

488. You may never be able to change what happened.

489. But maybe with a new perspective,

490. you could try to change yourself.

491. - Did you get enough? - Yeah, I think so.

492. Okay, good. Buckle up.

493. Remy?

494. - Yeah, Mom. - Hey,

495. you wanna record that TV show audition now, baba?

496. - What do you think? - Hmm, yeah.

497. Yeah? Okay. Come on.

498. Hi. I'm Remy. I live in Oregon. And I have so many toys

499. that are in my room. Like, one, I have a—

500. I have a Gru plushie. I really like to sleep with him...

501. That's our house there. We're gonna be right there, huh?

502. Whoa.

503. - Cool, huh? - Mm-hmm.

504. - And you must be Remy. - Yes.

505. We're so excited to have you guys be a part of this.

506. Uh, let me introduce you the director, right?

507. It's a very unique project.

508. - Okay. - Come inside.

509. Do you guys have Hungry Hungry Hippos?

510. We sure do.

511. All right, so, uh...

512. Sort of freeform. We won't be sticking to a script.

513. - Okay. - Uh, but of course,

514. anything that happens inside the home will be sure

515. - to clear with you beforehand. - Okay, great.

516. Um, do you want me anywhere...

517. Uh, well, uh—

518. Yeah, you're— you're free to watch everything here

519. - at the monitors. - Okay.

520. - Thanks. - Okay. Yeah.

521. - Let me— I have to go. - Yeah, I'll see you.

522. So, how are you today, Adam?

523. Good. I'm good.

524. Okay. What have you been doing?

525. Just tidying up your room?

526. He's kind of a weird dude, huh?

527. Uh, can I get you some soda or sparkling water?

528. - Oh, I'm okay. - You sure?

529. - Thank you. Yeah, thank you. - Okay.

530. Right. Well, let me know if you need anything.

531. Sure, thank you so much.

532. Do I get to see Daddy tomorrow?

533. - You do. Does that sound good? - Yeah.

534. You know he's your pretend daddy though, right?

535. - No, not— Don't, baba.

536. Not on your nose. No, no, no.

537. This is— this is gonna hurt you.

538. Okay, you want some food? Are you hungry?

539. - How was work today? - Good. Just busy.

540. Mm-hmm.

541. While you were at work today, he kept asking to see his dad.

542. - Oh. - Do you know what's that about?

543. Yeah, that's just the TV show he's been doing.

544. I told you about that, Mom.

545. Oh, right.

546. Do you think he's a little young to be getting into acting?

547. No, he's— he's having a lot of fun.

548. I just worry about him sometimes.

549. - I love you, Daddy.

550. - What did you say? - I love you, Daddy.

551. Aw, I love you too, Adam.

552. - And what's...

553. They said you're gonna have a birthday party soon, huh?

554. Oh. Is my daddy gonna be there?

555. Yeah, he's your pretend daddy, baba.

556. - Okay. - Okay.

557. My pretend daddy loves me.

558. - Come on in. Let's go. - Okay.

559. - What's wrong? You sad? - You want a hug?

560. You want to give him a hug?

561. - No. - I could— will see you.

562. We gotta go, okay? We can't stay here.

563. - It's okay. - I don't wanna leave. I don't—

564. You know Mommy has to go.

565. You give him a hug. Say goodbye.

566. No.

567. I mean, it's just complicated because he's now seeing kids

568. at school and they have their dads

569. and he's kind of wondering where's his.

570. You know. And so...

571. it's just new to him. New concept.

572. I get it.

573. I hope it's okay.

574. Yeah. Are you okay?

575. Yeah, yeah. I'm okay.

576. Okay.

577. But I don't want you to be Nathan.

578. - I want you to be daddy. - Right.

579. But we are just pretending, right?

580. And now, we're back to Remy and Nathan, okay?

581. I don't want... I don't want you to be...

582. I want him to be daddy.

583. - It's okay. It's okay.

584. He said he wasn't my daddy anymore.

585. I'm sorry, baba. That must've been very hard

586. - for you to hear.

587. Why did he say he was my daddy?

588. I know. That man didn't mean to confuse you, honey.

589. He just didn't know what he was doing.

590. - You know, he...

591. He's not that different from you.

592. He's just figuring stuff out and messing up along the way.

593. Maybe we shouldn't have done that show, huh?

594. It's like a weird little weird thing

595. for a little kid to be a part of.

596. - But you know what?

597. - Mommy's not perfect, okay?

598. She makes mistakes too. And you're gonna make mistakes.

599. Look at me, baba. You know what.

600. I think it's a good thing that you're sad.

601. Because it shows that you have a heart.

602. It shows that you can feel and you can love,

603. and you can put your trust in others.

604. Is that a smile I see?

605. Is that another thing you're feeling there?

606. A smile.

607. How do you feel if tickle monster attacks you?

608. - Huh?

609. - See,

610. life's better was surprises.

611. I mean, some things you want to be prepared for,

612. but you know what I mean.

613. Oh, no, you got me! Tickle monster got me now.

614. - What the heck?

615. That's weird.

616. But you know what? It's okay if you get confused.

617. It's okay if you get sad

618. because no matter what you experience,

619. we have each other.

620. And I'm always gonna be here for you, okay?

621. 'Cause I'm your dad.

622. I— Wait, I thought you were my mom.

623. No.

624. I'm your dad.

625. Good boy. You wanna go play now?

626. - Yeah, let's go. - Okay, let's go play.

627. Let's go.