The Rehearsal 1x4

1. - I do. - Great.

2. When you were young, did you ever hate

3. one of your parents?

4. - I don't think so.

5. - No? I did. I hated my dad. - Oh, really?

6. I was very angry at him

7. because he wasn't there. I put my parents through hell.

8. I drank like a fish.

9. - What did you drink? - Vodka, tequila. I did drugs.

10. Marijuana...

11. - acid. - You did acid?

12. - Yep. - What?

13. - Cocaine. - You did cocaine?

14. Yep.

15. And that sent me

16. into a lot of destructive behaviors.

17. Mm-hmm.

18. What are you doing with the noodles there?

19. - I'm seeing how done they are. - Oh, okay.

20. Yeah.

21. It's beautiful in rural Oregon.

22. And the town of Eagle Creek,

23. my home base for this project, definitely has a lot to offer.

24. But if what you need is a consistent supply

25. of professional actors

26. for all the rehearsals you have in the works...

27. - Bye. - Bye. See you later.

28. you need to take regular trips to a big city.

29. You need to go where the actors are.

30. During this process,

31. I've discovered that an actor's sense of authenticity

32. can vary vastly from one to another.

33. And I wanted a way to create

34. a standard for the level of realism

35. I needed for this project.

36. I had recently launched The Fielder Method Studio

37. in LA's NoHo Arts District as a recruitment camp of sorts,

38. to find and train up-and-coming actors

39. in the specific techniques needed for this show.

40. Unlike a normal role where the worst thing

41. that can happen is, you know, someone changes the channel

42. if they don't like your performance,

43. you know what I mean. Like, with this show,

44. if your performance isn't accurate,

45. you could ruin someone's life.

46. Preparing an actor for a rehearsal

47. is sort of like a spy mission.

48. And I wanted them to learn how to do it themselves,

49. as well as improve on mistakes we had made in the past.

50. So, is your method based upon, like, literally a slice of life

51. with this person and then creating reenactments

52. - based off this one experience? - My point is

53. - that this didn't go far enough. - Okay.

54. Sounds like we're gonna secretly follow somebody around

55. - for a while. - Stalking?

56. - Stalking? - Yeah. Yes.

57. - You guys—

58. Okay, you guys are getting ahead of this. Good.

59. But I often find myself intimidated by actors.

60. Stella Adler says you can be representational,

61. which is action based.

62. Or you could be representational,

63. which is behavior based.

64. S— S—

65. - Stella Adler. - Stella Adler.

66. - And then, yeah. - What is her thing?

67. They have a way of channeling

68. other people's emotions that I don't fully understand.

69. The most playful chakra is your third eye, right?

70. It's your creative mind as an actor.

71. That's where you wanna live.

72. Just in hearing you talk about this, um,

73. it's like the Suzuki Method which is physical

74. - and it's about— - Suzuki?

75. Yeah, and it's about filling the form.

76. Okay. And what's the best way to fill in the form?

77. Just do the action.

78. - Do the action. - Yeah.

79. Like in the deep reality of the action.

80. - Sure. - Yeah.

81. And by the time I gave them

82. their first assignment, I was feeling a little insecure.

83. Okay. So now, we're gonna put

84. some of what you guys learned today, into action.

85. You're gonna go out into the real world

86. and pick a real person to become your primary.

87. And you're gonna secretly observe and interact with them,

88. and find out as much as you can about them.

89. And then, you're gonna come back tomorrow

90. dressed like them. Okay?

91. Any other questions or...

92. - Okay, cool. See you later. - Bye.

93. After spending time with people,

94. I'm often left wondering what they actually think of me.

95. So, once the class was gone, I tried a little experiment.

96. I decided to recreate the class using different actors

97. to portray each person,

98. so I could relive the day from a student's perspective.

99. My hope was to gain insight

100. into how each lesson made them feel,

101. so I could improve it for tomorrow.

102. With this show...

103. if your performance isn't accurate...

104. you could ruin a person's life.

105. I picked a random student to inhabit.

106. An actor named Thomas,

107. who was sitting on the side of the room.

108. Putting myself in his headspace,

109. I noticed this teacher wasn't very good

110. at connecting with us.

111. Your character research needs to be sourced

112. through real-world interactions

113. with the person you're portraying.

114. It didn't seem like he had ever taught

115. an acting class before.

116. Is it weird... to put my name, like, in a method?

117. - Or... - No.

118. Everyone does that, yeah.

119. I wondered if my fellow students

120. felt the same way.

121. But I couldn't really see their faces well

122. because of how the chairs were arranged.

123. We were all facing forwards.

124. And this formal environment

125. made the whole class a little less fun.

126. So, your assignment for the rest of the day is,

127. you're gonna go out into the real world

128. and secretly observe your primary.

129. But it felt like the method itself made sense.

130. Nathan explained it all clearly

131. and it was actually sort of intriguing.

132. Maybe there was something to it.

133. I guess I'd have to keep taking the class to find out.

134. - Hey. - Hey.

135. - We're circling. That's cool. - Yeah, circle today.

136. Hang out. Have a seat. How's it going?

137. It's good to see you. Hello.

138. Um, I asked her how her day was going,

139. how long was her shift. She's working till midnight.

140. She's really tired.

141. I found her Instagram through geotags.

142. - Wow. - Then I found her Twitter

143. - and I found her TikTok. - Good. Good.

144. - She's having...

145. she's having a breast reduction soon.

146. Her name is Amanda.

147. I felt way more in sync with the actors today.

148. The vibe in the room felt so much better.

149. Yeah. So, my primary's name is Henry. He is a barber.

150. - You had to get your hair cut then? - Yeah.

151. - You got a haircut? - I got my hair cut and I—

152. - Yeah, it was nice. Yeah.

153. - So, it was good and like... - Okay, cool. Good.

154. But I noticed some students were struggling

155. with the assignment.

156. - Thomas, what about you? - Uh...

157. - Well, I went to an Acai Place. - Acai?

158. It's kinda like a smoothie bowl.

159. Okay.

160. And I thought this would be a good opportunity

161. to show them I knew what I was doing.

162. I noticed you didn't get as— as much, um...

163. personal information about your primary

164. - as some of the others. - Mm-hmm.

165. Um, is there a reason or...

166. The environment kind of begs for you to go through the line

167. - and then leave. - Right.

168. Uh, the physical space is asking you not to be there.

169. Yeah. You know, you— When you got your order,

170. maybe spill it on the counter and he would come to your aid,

171. and that would break down some of those social barriers

172. that you're afraid to cross.

173. - Just disrupt the situation? - Yeah.

174. And then maybe, you know, it might lead

175. to a more personal conversation perhaps.

176. Okay. Gotcha.

177. When I relived the day from Thomas's perspective,

178. it proved my instincts

179. - to be right.

180. Thomas, what about you?

181. So, my primary was at an acai bowl place.

182. Acai bowl?

183. Yeah. Acai bowl, kind of like a smoothie.

184. The circle felt just as good

185. from a student's perspective as it was from the teacher's.

186. And I felt really special when Nathan pulled me aside

187. to give me one-on-one guidance after class.

188. And that'll help break down some of the social barriers

189. that you're afraid to cross.

190. - Thank you. - All right? Good luck. Good luck.

191. - Thank you. - Okay. Great.

192. After reliving day two, I basically found no issues.

193. I felt Nathan gave every student a lot of attention

194. and made us feel comfortable in the process.

195. Maybe I had nothing to worry about after all.

196. It was nice to be back in LA...

197. back in my real home.

198. Once in a while, I would try to check in with Angela.

199. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

200. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

201. One, two, three. One, two, three.

202. One, two, three. One, two, three.

203. One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two. One. One. One. One

204. - Wow! All right. - Oh, my God.

205. Now that the actors had studied their primaries

206. for two days...

207. it was time to physically embody them.

208. Um, you use tape and string, is that...

209. - I don't know. - You don't know? Okay.

210. - I don't know what's— - Um... What's that tool here?

211. But over here, I got a couple things going.

212. Um... This is a...

213. tie iron.

214. - Tie iron? - Tie iron, yeah.

215. - T-I-E? - I believe so.

216. Bananas under the cans.

217. But I now knew that to take on the mind

218. of a stranger, it wasn't enough to just talk to them.

219. The level of immersion had to be deeper.

220. I am in the process of arranging for all of you

221. to work in the actual jobs of your primary.

222. Or at least as— as close as we can get.

223. - Is that cool, pretty... - Yeah.

224. or is that dumb?

225. - I don't wanna work.

226. I was noticing the more extreme

227. my method became,

228. the more these actors seemed to respect me.

229. If I'm not gonna go all the way and get out of my comfort zone,

230. how am I gonna know where I can go?

231. So, yeah, thank you for just the space, you know.

232. But when I caught up with Thomas, something felt off.

233. Yeah, so— so how did it go? Yeah, what happened?

234. - It was— - Did you get personal? Did you?

235. Yeah. The deeper conversation was hard to accomplish.

236. Did you spill your bowl or anything? Or...

237. - Did not spill the bowl. - Okay, yeah.

238. But I instead went with, uh...

239. telling him that I lost my lucky guitar pick

240. that I got from my dad.

241. - Okay. - And then—

242. - Is that true? - No, that was a lie.

243. - Oh, okay, okay, got it. - Yeah.

244. I mean, I don't really like lying to people,

245. - in general. - Yeah, neither do I.

246. - Yeah. - Yeah.

247. Yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, it's weird, but...

248. this is all so fascinating, so what are you gonna do?

249. Right.

250. Thomas's ambiguous emotions

251. were hard for me to read, but then I got the sense

252. he had been uncomfortable with this method

253. since the very first day.

254. So, yeah. That's what makes me feel

255. - kinda weird about it sometimes. - About doing these— this...

256. specific kind of stalking thing.

257. The Fielder Method.

258. Which was interesting because I had not felt that

259. when I was him.

260. So rather than recreating today's lesson,

261. I decided to experience that first day again

262. to see if I had missed something.

263. - Hey, I'm Nathan. - Thomas.

264. - Thomas? Good to meet you. - Yeah. Good to meet you.

265. - Uh, yeah, have a seat. - Sure, yeah.

266. - And, uh, just hang out. - Okay, great.

267. This time, I was focused

268. on really getting into his mindset.

269. So I just kept saying to myself in my head,

270. "Your name is Thomas and you're an actor."

271. "How do you feel?"

272. I have a show that requires a specific type

273. - of performance. - Almost immediately,

274. I felt a rush of excitement come over me when I remembered

275. there were cameras filming me.

276. HBO cameras.

277. I love being on camera.

278. But I wanted to play it cool, like I didn't care that much.

279. With this show, if your per— if your performance

280. isn't accurate...

281. you could ruin someone's life.

282. Wait, what is this show?

283. Is this a show about an acting class?

284. Am I supposed to be acting? Something doesn't make sense.

285. If you're training actors for a show,

286. why would you be filming the training?

287. I wanted to ask,

288. but I was worried it would seem rude.

289. I didn't wanna stand out. I wanted to impress Nathan.

290. "Fielder Method" on three.

291. - One, two, three. - Fielder Method!

292. All right, thank you guys. All right.

293. Hi, thank you for coming to the first day

294. of the Fielder Method, we're... so excited to have you.

295. If you wanna participate in the show,

296. you just need to sign this appearance release.

297. - Okay. - Thank you.

298. Oh, wow. There are so many pages!

299. I don't know any of these legal terms.

300. This would take me hours to read.

301. Thank you so much.

302. But everyone else is signing it,

303. so it must be all right.

304. Uh, it's all standard. Signature is on the fourth page.

305. - Right. Sorry, yeah. Okay. - Yeah, no problem

306. - Great, we'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah.

307. Reliving the day again as Thomas made me realize

308. there was a whole other layer to his experience

309. - I hadn't considered. - Thank you so much.

310. - Thanks again for today. - Yeah. Thank you.

311. I'll see you. Yeah.

312. And I wondered if was going far enough.

313. I had just sent these actors off

314. to work for an entire week as someone else.

315. But how much is enough?

316. How do you ever know you truly understand someone?

317. So, I started visiting Thomas working at the acai bowl place.

318. - Hey! - Hey! How you doing?

319. Good. How are you?

320. Going through the exact experience

321. he had with his primary.

322. - How many siblings do you have? - Pardon me?

323. - How many siblings? - Brother, two sisters.

324. - Brother, two sisters? - Yeah.

325. Do you want Nutella, peanut butter, almond butter?

326. And returned to class the next morning

327. to live the second day again.

328. I'm a dog walker for this dog walking app

329. and my primary was this director

330. and I— I actually got into his house.

331. But this time, it felt different.

332. I think you're the first person in the history of this project

333. to actually get inside their primary's home. Um...

334. It's amazing. Wow!

335. I think that deserves a round of applause. Yeah.

336. And I began to question the tactics

337. this teacher was encouraging.

338. You spill your bowl on the counter and...

339. see how he responds to that.

340. But every night when I went home,

341. it was still my house.

342. My marble coffee table. My TV.

343. My black and white toilet.

344. The illusion was shattered.

345. So, I suggested to Thomas that he move into an apartment

346. that reflects the living situation

347. of his primary, to immerse himself fully.

348. Did you— did you find out his living situation?

349. Yeah. I found out that he lives

350. with the couple of his bandmates,

351. actually pretty close to here. Uh, Sherman Oaks area.

352. - Okay. - Mm-hmm.

353. Cool. Uh, how soon can you move?

354. As soon as I have to.

355. So, I rented him a similar place

356. and hired two actors to play his roommates.

357. All right. So, this is, uh...

358. - Tex and Matt. - S'up man?

359. - They'll be your new roommates. - Hey.

360. I told him I would collect his mail for him

361. and water his plants while he was away.

362. - Plant in my bathroom.

363. - Just a little bit. - Okay.

364. And be careful 'cause it'll overflow

365. - the little water catch dish. - All right, sure. Great.

366. - All right. Have fun. - Okay. See you.

367. See you.

368. But I really wanted to do more than that.

369. So, while Thomas was going deeper

370. into his character...

371. I would go deeper into mine.

372. I began living in his home...

373. eating what he eats...

374. playing what he plays...

375. using the weapons he uses...

376. reading what he reads...

377. sleeping where he sleeps.

378. I was now Thomas 24/7.

379. I continued following the lesson plan

380. until I was working at an Ubatuba also.

381. A different one from Thomas, so he wouldn't know.

382. He— he lives with a— a couple of his bandmates

383. in Sherman Oaks...

384. - All right. - ... in, like, an apartment.

385. Okay. Cool.

386. How soon can you move?

387. It was beginning to dawn on me

388. how much I was asking of these students...

389. This is Tex. And this is Matt.

390. - Hey. - They'll be playing your roommates.

391. - Nice to meet you. - How are you?

392. and the sacrifices they're willing to make

393. in pursuit of their dreams.

394. Maybe I could get your keys.

395. Uh...

396. Why— Why do you need my keys?

397. - I can look after your plants. - Oh, sure. Yeah.

398. Or get your mail while you're here.

399. But no matter how deep I went,

400. there were still parts of Thomas that were a mystery to me.

401. But maybe that's as close as you can get.

402. And that last step in understanding someone

403. is always just a guess.

404. - All right, Ashley.

405. When they finished their week of work,

406. I had all the actors return for a final showcase.

407. That looks like two inches.

408. - All right. Sam.

409. It's hard to know what exactly is hidden

410. beneath the smile of an actor.

411. - Would you like your bowl, sir? - Thomas.

412. But once in a while, it's nice to just pretend

413. - that everything's okay.

414. - "Fielder Method" on three. - One, two, three.

415. - Fielder Method!

416. I was in LA longer than I had planned to be,

417. and I was sort of nervous to return home again...

418. to get back into family life. I wasn't sure how it would feel.

419. - Hey, Dad. - Oh, hey!

420. - Hi. - Uh, is, uh, Angela here?

421. Uh...

422. - Hug? Can I get a hug? - Oh, yeah, yeah. Course. Hey.

423. - Good to see you. - Yeah, how are you?

424. Good... um...

425. Just gonna put my stuff upstairs.

426. - Oh, okay. - So, yeah.

427. Oh... yeah.

428. Maybe I can. Maybe I can show up.

429. - It could be fun! It could be fun!

430. Everyone was being so warm and welcoming,

431. making me feel at home.

432. But for some reason, that felt wrong.

433. I was telling him that he's more mainstream

434. and I'm more underground.

435. Like, I like to find eclectic underground artists.

436. Adam was 15 now. I had been gone for nine years.

437. Was this really how he would see me?

438. Maybe I needed to make some adjustments.

439. - Hey. - Hey.

440. - What's up, Dad? - Mind if I come in?

441. Yeah, no problem. What's up?

442. - How's it going? - Ah, just, uh—

443. Trying to write some songs, sorta.

444. - Oh, yeah. Cool. - Yeah.

445. Do you mind if I talk to you for a sec, as you?

446. What's your name again?

447. Adam.

448. No, no, like, could I talk to you as— as the actor?

449. - Oh. - What's your real name?

450. - Oh, Joshua. Joshua, yeah. Joshua. - Josh. Josh. All right, Josh.

451. Sorry, yeah. I know we talked

452. about never breaking character but—

453. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. So, just—

454. - Okay, so, we're in, uh—

455. Yeah, just you for a moment.

456. I guess— Okay, so your dad comes home after being gone

457. for nine years. How do you think you'd really feel?

458. Maybe resentment to him.

459. - Maybe a little bit. - Uh-huh.

460. Just as me personally. Especially if...

461. he comes home and it's almost like,

462. "Hey, what's up? You doing good?"

463. - Mm-hmm. - That— That would be—

464. I wouldn't like that at all.

465. I think I— I think 'cause then, it's still your dad, but it's just like—

466. It's like this guy like, "You didn't take care of me."

467. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, you know,

468. it's— it's like, it's like that sort of thing.

469. Do you mind if we try me

470. coming home again, but using that?

471. - Uh... like that— that feeling? - Yeah.

472. - Yeah, totally, I don't— Yeah. Hundred percent. - Okay. Okay, cool.

473. Hey!

474. Look who decided to show up.

475. Good.

476. Do you know anyone or any friends of yours

477. who have been through anything similar to this?

478. Like, dad not around situation or...

479. Um... Yeah, I— I know a couple people.

480. Do you think you'd be able to just...

481. Maybe spend time with one of them

482. or the friend and take it in, or...

483. Hmm, yeah. I, um...

484. I think that's actually a great idea.

485. I think I can definitely do that.

486. Hey.

487. How you doing?

488. You wanna see a card trick or something,

489. - like a magic trick? - No, Dad. I'm not five.

490. Yeah, he's been like in and out of jail a lot.

491. - Juvenile. Juvie. - Juvenile?

492. Um, I think he actually has a kid on the way.

493. - He has a kid? - Just with like someone— yeah.

494. - Just with someone. - So what age was he having sex?

495. - Like 13, probably, like 12. - He was having sex at 13?

496. I'm— I'm sure of it. Yeah, most likely.

497. - If not 13, at least 14. - Hey!

498. Are you leaving?

499. Yeah, I'm going to hang out with some friends.

500. Okay. Where are you going? Where— where— what friends?

501. My friends. We're probably gonna go drinking.

502. You're gonna go drinking?

503. What type of drinks will you have, do you think?

504. Tequila, vodka. Just some stuff like that.

505. - Tequila, okay. - Tequila.

506. You can't go drinking. You're— You're only 15.

507. What do you mean I can't go drinking? W... wh—

508. I need to make sure you come home safe.

509. Wow, you're the one to talk about coming home?

510. Okay, come on. Hey!

511. You can't... You can't just go...

512. Adam?

513. What's going on?

514. Oh. Uh...

515. I just think he's upset

516. that I haven't been there most of his life.

517. Mm-hmm.

518. - Um... - Okay.

519. But...

520. I'm gonna fix it.

521. Good.

522. Hey, buddy. Um...

523. you don't have to come out or answer me.

524. Uh, I just got you...

525. uh, a little something.

526. It's a guitar pedal. I know you like them.

527. I'm not sure what they do. So...

528. Uh, I guess they make the guitar sound cool.

529. Maybe one day you could show me how it works.

530. Um...

531. Like, I think drugs is, like, the next level.

532. - Yeah. - Drugs, you name it.

533. He's done it probably.

534. You know, like, cocaine or like,

535. you know, Molly and that stuff.

536. And that's all 'cause his dad situation?

537. - Um... I mean, yeah. I think so. - Okay.

538. I think it is.

539. You're not a dad! Okay?

540. You weren't then and you're not now!

541. Your anger is not gonna go away...

542. - ... if you numb it with drugs

543. and alcohol. Okay, this was the problem I had.

544. I— I hated my dad.

545. I hated my dad and I went to drugs and alcohol.

546. I wish I would've been spared.

547. I wish my parents would have sat me down

548. and talked to me like we're talking to you now.

549. They didn't. They didn't know how!

550. I'm not gonna let that happen to you.

551. What— what— what drugs are you doing?

552. What do you mean what drugs am I—

553. - Why would I fucking tell you? - I— I heard you s—

554. - What? Are you gonna go to the fucking cops? - So you are doing drugs?

555. What are you gonna do? Go to the cops and tell them?

556. No! And that's why I'm talking to you about it now.

557. - Adam— - I'm not a snitch.

558. You're a fucking disaster, my guy.

559. All right! Now...

560. can we end this fucking conversation now?

561. - Hello, Angela? - Hello.

562. Just a thought,

563. how would you feel about going back to age six?

564. Oh, I guess, um, could you help me understand

565. what the purpose would be of going back?

566. - Oh, just because... - What were you thinking?

567. I feel like I didn't get the experience

568. - of seeing him grow. Like... - Oh, um...

569. I'm willing to do that.

570. Whatever you think is needed for the show, that's fine.

571. Okay, cool. I'll— I'll talk to you in a bit.

572. Okay. See you.

573. Adam?

574. Adam?

575. Adam, Adam, you okay?

576. - Are you okay? Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

577. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

578. - Angela! Angela! - What?

579. Adam, stay with me,

580. are you okay? Are you okay, Adam?

581. - Adam. Adam—

582. What's going on?

583. - Okay, it's all right.

584. I don't know what's happening.

585. I don't know what's happening to him. I don't know.

586. I don't know what's happening.

587. I don't know what's happening with him.

588. I don't know. I don't know.

589. He's got pinpointed pupils, hyperventilation.

590. High end-tidal. Looks like an opioid overdose.

591. Okay, with hypertension we need to consider

592. - benzo involvement. - Mm-hmm. I agree.

593. We'll start by assisting his breathing.

594. - Okay. - Hit him up with some Narcan.

595. Blood pressure 96 over 50. Respiration, six.

596. O2 stat, 86.

597. How are you feeling? You good?

598. - You okay?

599. What are you doing? Don't. No. Stay, stay. You're safe, Adam.

600. - You're safe. - Hey, hey, hey!

601. - Wh— what's happening? - Hey!

602. Have you seen a 15-year-old boy around here?

603. An older man? No, no. That wouldn't be him.

604. Okay, thank you.

605. Adam?

606. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

607. - It's easy to assume

608. that others think the worst of you...

609. but when you assume what others think,

610. maybe all you're doing is turning them into a character

611. that only exists in your mind.

612. The nice thing is, sometimes all it takes

613. is a change in perspective

614. to make the world feel brand-new.

615. All right, Adam. Let's go home.

616. Is that it?