1. - Phew, the real Ghostbusters will return
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2. after these messages.
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3. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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4. - Are you trying to tell me that it wasn
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5. 't your fraternity
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6. that was 300 bats in Dean Gringle's
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7. refrigerator
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8. and that slime pit in my driveway?
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9. - Someone is trying to make Tri-Cup-a-
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10. Brew look bad.
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11. Young man, as Dean, I intend to see to
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12. that you get
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13. expelled from school.
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14. No!
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15. - Oh, ouch, oh.
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16. - Wow, it was one of them.
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17. - It was the ghost, sir.
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18. - Ghost indeed.
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19. Now you've gone too far.
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20. We have to do something about these frat
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21. ghosts
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22. before we get kicked out of school.
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23. We need the Ghostbusters.
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24. - And for your civic minded work in r
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25. idding the community
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26. of undead undesirables, the West Side
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27. Women's Club
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28. would like to present you with this
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29. commemorative plaque.
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30. - Well, this is disgraceful, a ghost here?
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31. - Listen, do we point at you and say a
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32. fat lady here?
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33. No, so really.
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34. - Huh?
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35. - That'll teach you to eat plastic.
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36. If anyone asks, you didn't see a thing.
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37. - We represent our fraternity, which is
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38. plagued by ghosts.
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39. We wish to apply for your expertise in,
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40. as I believe the term is, ghost busting.
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41. Our frat house is—
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42. - Uh-uh, hold it right there, fraternity.
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43. And this would be some kind of fraternity
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44. joke.
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45. Forget it, boys, I'm not gonna fall for
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46. it.
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47. Not that I wouldn't have done it myself.
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48. Not a bad initiation gag.
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49. - But it's legitimate.
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50. - Sure it is.
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51. Try cuppa brew, brothers through and
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52. through.
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53. So what if we're a mess?
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54. - We always pass the test.
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55. Try cuppa brew, my old fraternity.
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56. How'd you know I was a frat brother?
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57. - The frat history book honors your
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58. memory
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59. for the day you ran your underwear up the
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60. flagpole
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61. while you were wearing them.
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62. - Yeah, those were the days.
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63. Then this haunting of yours is for real?
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64. - All too real.
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65. For try cuppa brew, we'll do what we can
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66. do.
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67. - Ten to one we find a bunch of college
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68. kids in sheets.
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69. - Well, let's get it over with.
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70. - There's nothing here.
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71. - I told you.
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72. - Okay, bring back the furniture.
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73. My fraternity stole it first.
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74. - This is a hoot.
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75. Let's do it some more.
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76. - Was it you who said it would be easy,
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77. Venkman?
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78. - Here's say, Ray.
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79. You'll never stand up in a court of law.
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80. - Ooh, effective.
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81. Crude, but effective.
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82. - So how do we handle this many?
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83. There's a whole gang.
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84. - Split up and stay in touch for your
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85. walkie-talkie.
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86. - Huh?
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87. - We've decided we can't find the great
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88. Ghostbusters.
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89. Enter, and I'll take my place.
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90. You can zap us as you please.
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91. - Is Edmore here?
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92. I found them, and they're ready to
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93. surrender.
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94. I'm in the...
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95. - This isn't funny.
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96. - The dumb frosh fell for it.
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97. - I do hope he hurts himself.
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98. - Dirty sheets, wonderful.
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99. - Dirty sheets?
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100. - Who's?
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101. - And after I spent all day in the water.
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102. - Yo, guys.
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103. Can I get some back up here?
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104. - There he is.
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105. And there they are.
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106. - Nothing like a good old-fashioned
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107. fraternity blanket toss.
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108. - Time it to hit while he's in the air.
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109. - Whoa.
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110. - Now.
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111. - No more cotton candy for me, Ma.
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112. These rides are too much.
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113. - Time to go back to school, boys.
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114. - Back to school?
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115. I certainly hope that that doesn't mean—
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116. - It probably does.
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117. - Whoa.
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118. - What's going on over there?
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119. - Why not get a real close look?
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120. How about a good old-fashioned
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121. goldfish swallowing contest?
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122. - This isn't how it's done.
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123. We're supposed to swallow them.
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124. - Three students.
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125. - Not bad.
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126. Now for some more.
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127. - What the heck?
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128. - It's not big enough to give Jonah a bad
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129. case of deja vu.
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130. - And I swear, if I get out of this,
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131. I'll never eat another fish stick.
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132. - Open fire.
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133. - If you're free, what do you say we go
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134. out
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135. for some fish and chips?
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136. Let's make it a hamburger.
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137. - Food fight.
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138. - Look out, U.F.F. approaches.
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139. - U.F.F.?
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140. - Unidentified blind food.
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141. - They're gone.
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142. - No, they're here somewhere.
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143. The P.K.E. sources are shifting around.
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144. - Well, Ray, where have they gone?
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145. - They seem to be right behind you.
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146. - What the heck?
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147. - Hey, let's go.
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148. - You boys obviously want to join our
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149. fraternity pretty badly.
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150. Well, we're gonna give you the chance.
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151. First, the initiation.
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152. - Okay, don't panic.
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153. I got an old dorm trick up my sleeve
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154. that's sure to work on hard-boiled craft
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155. tanks.
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156. - We've decided you boys should join our
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157. fraternity,
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158. so we're going to the final stage of your
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159. initiation.
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160. We're going to initiate you
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161. into the fraternity of the dead.
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162. The Ghostbusters will return after these
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163. messages.
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164. - Ooh, we now return to the real
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165. Ghostbusters.
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166. - Remember that old dorm trick you
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167. mentioned?
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168. I think you better try it, fast.
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169. - Here goes.
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170. - Huh?
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171. - Wow, look at those girls.
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172. - Huh, where?
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173. - Come on, boys.
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174. - Not a very complex plan, Peter.
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175. - Let them go.
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176. We'll get them later.
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177. They've given me a better idea.
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178. Let's rate the girls' dorms.
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179. - The guys from Tri Cup of Brew said
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180. something
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181. about this having been a frat house
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182. generations ago.
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183. The history of that old fraternity might
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184. be the key.
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185. - That's the one.
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186. - His name was Elwin Spalding.
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187. 50 years ago, he was the president
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188. of the most notorious fraternity in the
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189. state.
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190. They were always partying and playing pr
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191. anks
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192. and never studying.
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193. Then they broke into the office
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194. and stole the test questions to their
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195. final exams.
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196. They were caught and kicked out of school.
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197. They swore they'd get even with the
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198. school someday.
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199. - Meaning now, when Tri Cup of Brew
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200. took over the old frat house,
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201. it must have triggered their return.
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202. - From what you've told us,
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203. there's only one way to get rid of them.
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204. But for that, we'll need your help
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205. in a little ghost-busting strategy.
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206. - That's the girls' dorm.
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207. - That's where they are, all right.
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208. The girls' dorm.
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209. The readings are unmistakable.
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210. - You can't say I'm surprised.
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211. That's where I'd be, too, if I weren't on
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212. duty.
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213. - See you at the prom, girl.
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214. Nice wardrobe.
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215. Do you mind if I try on a few things?
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216. Toe-down party!
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217. Get your own dean.
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218. That's ours.
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219. - No!
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220. - You know, if these guys feel deprived
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221. of their graduation
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222. and won't rest until they've graduated,
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223. then maybe we should let 'em graduate.
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224. From Ghostbusters U.
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225. Fellas, fellas, the college dean would
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226. like
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227. to have a word with you about graduation.
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228. - Graduation?
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229. - Graduation!
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230. - Oh my, oh, oh, oh dear.
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231. - Hold it.
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232. Fitzroy can authorize graduation for you
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233. all.
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234. - He can?
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235. - Yes, but you'll need to take makeup
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236. classes.
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237. So report to the social science building,
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238. room 334, for...
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239. - Economics.
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240. - What time is lunch?
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241. - I can't do it, Winston.
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242. I was always weak on economics.
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243. They'll know we're putting 'em on.
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244. And then, my guess is, they'll tear me
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245. apart.
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246. - They'll fall for it.
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247. That bunch of ectoplasm is wiggle.
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248. Anyway, the whole thing was your idea.
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249. - Right, and that's where you failed me,
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250. Winston.
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251. You should've told me it was stupid.
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252. Good afternoon, class.
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253. - Good afternoon, you, Professor.
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254. - Okay, here we have the basic truth of
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255. economics.
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256. Supply and demand.
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257. Supply equals demand.
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258. You demand to graduate, we supply the
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259. diploma.
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260. Questions?
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261. Good, you all pass.
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262. Class dismissed.
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263. Report to biology in room 234 downstairs.
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264. - Egon, they're here.
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265. I think we better—
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266. - This is really fascinating.
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267. A very rare specimen.
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268. Say, Ray, did you notice the delicate fl
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269. uting
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270. on the underside of this spore receptacle?
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271. - Professor Spengler.
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272. - What?
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273. Oh, oh yes.
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274. Welcome, class.
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275. Today in biology, we are going to study
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276. the common house fungus.
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277. - Is that the common house fungus,
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278. Professor?
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279. Come on, get serious, Elwin.
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280. I wanna graduate.
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281. - This fascinating example of fungus
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282. is of the order of Raturia repulsiva.
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283. Its growing cycle is precisely three days
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284. in the spring months,
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285. unless of course the month has an R in it.
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286. - This class is boring.
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287. - Given proper climactic variations
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288. with a humidity reading of—
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289. - Get on with it fast.
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290. - Please, Ray.
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291. This is a matter of the greatest
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292. aesthetic importance.
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293. A humidity reading of 3.7,
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294. unless a high pressure system indicates—
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295. - Mm.
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296. - In conclusion, mushrooms grow in damp
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297. places.
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298. They're mushroom shaped.
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299. Any questions?
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300. No, fine, good.
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301. You pass.
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302. Report to physics room 134.
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303. - Thermodynamics deals with the
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304. transformation of heat
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305. into other forms of energy.
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306. Except in my case, it makes me wanna
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307. sleep.
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308. Let me tell ya, on those humid August
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309. days,
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310. I just wanna—
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311. - Peter, get to the—
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312. - There you see the principle of gravity.
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313. That completes your course of classes.
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314. You're ready to graduate.
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315. Now if you report to the auditorium for
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316. your pictures.
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317. - Wait a minute!
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318. There's traditional stuff we gotta do
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319. before we can graduate.
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320. Like the senior's obstacle course.
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321. - Uh, yeah.
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322. Better see to its stance as everything's
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323. set up.
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324. Okay class, meet me in the parking lot
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325. for the senior's traditional obstacle
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326. course.
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327. Okay, obstacle course time.
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328. Use more.
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329. Pick up this car and carry it along
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330. behind the others.
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331. Hey, I like this, a four-ghost power
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332. engine.
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333. Everything's ready.
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334. And if it doesn't work, then we go to
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335. plan C. Run like heck.
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336. Faster.
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337. Let's go.
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338. Pop, pop, pop, pop.
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339. Come on, one, two, one, two.
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340. Let's go.
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341. One, two, one, two.
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342. Pop, pop, pop, pop.
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343. Okay, here's the next obstacle in the
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344. obstacle course.
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345. Head for the sprinklers.
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346. Let's go.
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347. Science can explain everything if we
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348. look hard enough.
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349. There's not a thing in this universe that
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350. cannot be explained.
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351. Sorry, took a wrong turn.
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352. See you later, bozos.
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353. With some exceptions, of course.
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354. This special certificate of merit for
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355. your work at the college.
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356. And as Chairwoman of- >> Chairwoman?
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357. You look like a sofa woman to me.
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358. Enough of this stuff.
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359. We want to graduate now.
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360. Now what about tradition, fellas?
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361. There's one more thing.
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362. Get him.
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363. Is everything set, Stans?
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364. The special camera's set up.
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365. Ready.
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366. Head for the auditorium.
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367. Whoa.
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368. You guys have had it now.
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369. Prepare to die.
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370. Ahem, I am pleased to announce that
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371. you have completed all the requirements
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372. for
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373. graduation.
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374. Please take your places for the class
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375. photo before receiving your diploma.
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376. This is it, graduation.
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377. Come on, fellas.
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378. Okay, everybody, smile for the class
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379. picture.
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380. Hey, hey, what's that thing attached
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381. to the camera?
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382. Now, Ray, now.
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383. Okay.
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384. Good job, men.
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385. Great to have the place back.
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386. I guess I misjudged you, frat men.
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387. I apologize.
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388. So, up to your childish tricks.
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389. But, but we didn't do it this time
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390. either.
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391. Peter, did you?
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392. The old fraternity, yeah, those were
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393. the days.
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394. The real Ghostbusters will return
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395. after these messages.
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396. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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