1. The real Ghostbusters will return
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2. after these messages.
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3. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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4. My aching back, is it too late to
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5. switch jobs?
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6. Maybe sell aluminum siding, car insurance?
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7. Come on, you love it and you know it.
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8. You really do live in another world, don
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9. 't you?
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10. That was a nasty one, Egon.
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11. Yes, a multidimensional cross rep of
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12. hyperbolic intensity,
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13. either too unknown within the visible
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14. spectrum of-
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15. Egon, I love it when you talk like
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16. that.
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17. Well kids, it's early and I still got
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18. time for a nap, hold all my calls, huh?
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19. Dr. Venkman, don't you dare!
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20. There's nothing in my job description
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21. about target practice.
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22. Peter, this is irrational behavior.
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23. No, Egon, finding the refrigerator
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24. empty, that's irrational.
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25. Slime in my shoes, that's irrational,
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26. this'll be fun.
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27. Stop, Dr. Venkman.
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28. Wait, Peter, the value of science
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29. should be incalculable.
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30. We could get the Nobel Prize.
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31. You'll get better, Peter, you'll see.
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32. Ha.
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33. That little, you were saying?
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34. Peter, you got to have a little faith.
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35. That's right, Winston.
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36. Hello, boys.
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37. Hi, Aunt Lois.
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38. Hey. >> Hi, Aunt Lois.
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39. Here, I made you some nice baroshkis
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40. for dinner.
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41. Thanks, Aunt Lois.
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42. What brings you down this way?
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43. I wondered if you boys were busy this
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44. evening.
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45. Rats, I think we have a job at the
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46. Museum of Modern Art.
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47. Janine?
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48. No, they canceled.
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49. They heard about the mess you made at
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50. the Guggenheim.
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51. Your calendar is clear.
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52. Well, I guess we're free.
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53. What's up?
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54. Well, I have this headache, you see,
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55. and I'm sure it's spiritual.
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56. So I've called in a specialist, Dr. Bass
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57. engame.
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58. That TV guy?
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59. He's a snake oil salesman, an out and out
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60. fake.
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61. No, he's very good, you see.
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62. Will you come?
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63. Of course we'll come, Aunt Lois, 8 o'
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64. clock.
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65. 8 would be wonderful.
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66. I'm sure you'll enjoy it as much as I
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67. will.
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68. She makes me crazy.
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69. I can't believe she's letting that quack
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70. into her house.
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71. Lots of people used to say the same
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72. thing about us, Ray.
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73. Yeah, but we're scientists.
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74. Look on the bright side.
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75. The worst that can happen is that the guy
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76. will look like a jerk, and
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77. your aunt won't believe in him anymore.
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78. Maybe.
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79. At any rate, I need a nap.
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80. Wake me about six.
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81. Come on, it'll be fine.
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82. What have you done to my bed?
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83. Nice, eccentric, but nice.
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84. It's been in the family a hundred
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85. years.
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86. Aunt Lois was raised here.
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87. Good evening, Aunt Lois.
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88. My, how nice you all look, come in.
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89. Is he here yet?
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90. Yes, he's been here for hours, setting
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91. up.
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92. Yeah, let's see the so-called
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93. equipment.
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94. Finished, welcome.
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95. You must be young Ray, and these are your
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96. Ghostbuster friends, how nice.
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97. Hm, there really is something here,
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98. but I think it's dormant.
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99. Would you put that away, sir?
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100. We are using my equipment here tonight.
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101. But we're getting some very strange.
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102. Sir?
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103. Please, Egon, put it away.
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104. Now, if we could begin.
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105. Thank you, Ray.
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106. You really got a reading?
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107. Dormant, asleep, but definitely here.
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108. Did his equipment handle it?
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109. His equipment isn't designed to handle
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110. it, it's designed to annoy it.
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111. Good, as long as it's not completely
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112. useless.
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113. Gentlemen, join hands, please.
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114. My equipment is designed only to
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115. encourage and
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116. record the manifestations you will
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117. witness.
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118. Come forth, though spirit that is
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119. troubling this woman.
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120. Come forth and show yourself.
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121. Me?
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122. How did he do that?
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123. Hidden projector.
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124. If we may have quiet, I shall endeavor
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125. to have the spirit speak to Lois and
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126. tell her why it is troubled.
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127. Lois, Lois, my sleep is troubled.
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128. Only you can help me, Lois.
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129. Dear, what can I do?
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130. Help me, Lois.
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131. Boy, I bet it wants money.
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132. Great.
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133. A sum of money was owed to me in a
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134. past life by an ancestor.
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135. Spirit, what's wrong?
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136. Why don't you speak?
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137. Wow, this is impressive.
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138. Here?
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139. Hey, this is real.
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140. Of course it's real.
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141. I'm a spiritualist.
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142. You're getting a reading on that thing?
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143. Bubble Peter,
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144. Bassen Games awakened at least 12
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145. separate class seven classic
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146. free-floating repeaters.
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147. Great, can I go home now?
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148. That does it, I'm gonna get our
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149. equipment.
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150. No, Randy, Dr. Bassen Game can handle
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151. it, can't you, Dr. Bassen Game?
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152. Of course I can.
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153. I will.
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154. Do an exorcism.
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155. You're nuts, Doc.
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156. Peter, please.
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157. I will remove the spirits, but the
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158. unbelievers must leave now.
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159. I don't believe this.
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160. Better them than us.
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161. That's not funny, Peter.
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162. Hey guys, it's quieting down in there.
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163. What do you think, Egon?
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164. I don't like it.
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165. Shh, listen.
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166. Where's my aunt?
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167. Don't hit me, they have a cornered in
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168. there, I tried.
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169. We've gotta get her out of there.
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170. What?
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171. Stop, no, please, I can't, no, stop.
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172. Nice landing, Winston.
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173. Okay, troopers, suit up, cowboys and
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174. Indians time.
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175. Peter, we can't use the accelerators
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176. in there, not with that Lois in the way.
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177. It's too risky.
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178. Then we've gotta figure out something
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179. else.
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180. What have you got on these nasties?
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181. Quick, where was your aunt born?
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182. Mercy Hospital, Queens.
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183. But what about those flags and
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184. pictures in the parlor?
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185. That stuff?
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186. Well, my family's Russian, they came over
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187. in the 1860s.
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188. That helps.
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189. House spirits, which we cross index with
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190. Russian, got it.
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191. They're called domo vie, singular domo
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192. void.
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193. Spirits that live in the house and make
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194. things go right.
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195. Huh?
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196. They're helpful ghosts?
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197. Unless provoked.
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198. If you make them jealous, they will
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199. become violent.
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200. So when this fruit bat dummied up his
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201. phony seance, our Rusky phantoms got mad.
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202. They took it as a direct insult to
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203. everything they stand for.
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204. Aah, the real Ghostbusters will return
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205. after these messages.
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206. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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207. No, help, someone.
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208. Aunt Lois.
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209. Ray, I'm here, I can't get past them.
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210. Keep smiling, Aunt Lois, we're working
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211. on it.
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212. We've got to get their attention off
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213. of her.
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214. Off of her, and onto us, you mean.
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215. Okay, Egon, you're the brain trust
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216. here, what do we do?
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217. Well, they got angry when Bass and
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218. Game held his phony seance.
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219. So if we hold another seance, that should
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220. draw them out after us.
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221. And I know just the weasel to lead it.
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222. Me?
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223. No.
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224. Why me, why me, why me, why me, why me?
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225. All right, wise guy, let's hear some
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226. seance.
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227. Oh, spirits of darkness, hear me.
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228. I think they heard you.
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229. Ouch, what now, Ray?
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230. Get them away from Aunt Lois as far as
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231. you can.
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232. Where's Bass and Game?
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233. Forget him, chant.
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234. What?
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235. Chant, they'll think the seance is
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236. still going on.
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237. You got it.
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238. And a one, and a two, and a, the
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239. square of the hypotenuse is always equal
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240. to
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241. the sum of the squares of the other two
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242. sides.
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243. Ghost, get out the place, hey, ha, ha,
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244. ghost, get out my face, ha, good lord.
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245. 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98
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246. bottles of beer.
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247. Ghost, ha, ha, get out my face, hey,
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248. wow, ghost, ha, get out of the place, ha.
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249. 97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97
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250. bottles of beer.
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251. You really should tack that rug down,
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252. someone could get killed.
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253. Dear, are you all right?
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254. Yeah, somehow.
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255. I don't get it, why didn't they follow
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256. us out?
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257. They will when they finish dinner.
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258. No, they won't.
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259. Tell me, oh wise one, who knows the
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260. minds of spooks, why not?
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261. Because they're domoville, location
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262. spirits.
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263. They were peaceful, even beneficial until
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264. Bass and Game stirred them up.
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265. Good or bad, they belong to that specific
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266. room.
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267. Well, if you're gonna be logical about
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268. it.
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269. Wait, where's Dr. Bass and Game?
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270. I believe that the gentleman is
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271. otherwise occupied.
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272. That poor man.
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273. Poor man, he's the one who caused this
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274. mess.
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275. Yeah, but you know we do have to get
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276. him out of there.
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277. Why?
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278. Yeah, Aunt Lois, will you let us bring
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279. in our equipment now?
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280. Yes, I'm sorry, Ray.
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281. I guess when it comes to ghosts, you know
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282. best.
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283. Gentlemen, start your engines.
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284. Let's go with the conic projection
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285. first.
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286. Right, Egon, you boy genius, you.
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287. We needed crap over here.
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288. Ready, go.
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289. Hi, fella, smile.
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290. Nice shot, Peter.
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291. Ray?
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292. Whoa, watch it.
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293. Sorry.
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294. It's okay.
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295. Cease fire, guys, we won.
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296. Mm-hm.
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297. My.
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298. We're real sorry about the mess, ma'am.
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299. That's all right, boys.
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300. They did most of the damage before you
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301. even started.
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302. Dear, Dr. Bassen Game, is he?
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303. No, ma'am, he's right here.
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304. Is it over?
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305. It's just the seventh inning stretch.
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306. You got more innings to go, Pinhead.
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307. You, you charlatan,
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308. I'll never trust another spiritualist as
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309. long as I live.
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310. There's nothing wrong with giving
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311. someone a chance, Aunt Lois.
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312. But when you want the job done right, you
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313. gotta pick the right men for the job.
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314. What he means is this was a job for
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315. the Ghostbusters.
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316. Well, folks, it's been a long evening,
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317. and I have to be getting home, so.
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318. Aren't you forgetting something?
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319. That's all right.
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320. You can keep my equipment.
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321. It's broken anyway.
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322. Of course, I'll expect full payment for
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323. my services.
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324. Payment?
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325. What about the damages?
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326. You wrecked my dining room.
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327. If you'll read your contract, you'll
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328. see that I am not liable for
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329. any damages incurred as a result of
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330. spiritual work on the premises.
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331. You have all the principles of a snake.
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332. This TV chumps like you to make me not
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333. want to get cable.
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334. Thank you.
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335. But flattery won't get you out of this.
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336. A contract is a contract.
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337. You know, he's right.
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338. According to this contract, he doesn't
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339. have to pay for any of this.
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340. But I think he'll wanna pay for it, out
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341. of the goodness of his heart.
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342. And what makes you think that?
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343. Ray?
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344. Because if you don't, we're gonna find
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345. out where you live and
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346. deliver these out of town guests,
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347. complete with baby pictures, to your
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348. front door for eternity.
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349. You wouldn't.
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350. Will you take a check?
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351. Dr. Bassengame, wait, you have a- >>
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352. Yes.
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353. Nice day.
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354. You know, I like the way you think.
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355. The real Ghostbusters will return
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356. after these messages.
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357. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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