1. Ghostbusters.
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2. There's something strange in the
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3. neighborhood.
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4. Who you gonna call.
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5. Ghostbusters.
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6. There's something weird and it don't
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7. look good.
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8. We gonna call.
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9. Ghostbusters.
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10. I ain't afraid of no ghost.
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11. We gonna call.
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12. Ghostbusters.
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13. The real Ghost Busters will return
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14. after these messages.
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15. We now return to the real Ghost B
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16. usters.
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17. Are we there yet?
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18. No, Peter.
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19. Well, how much further?
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20. It's just that we're getting too far away
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21. from New York City.
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22. I can feel my power's draining.
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23. Madame Lefarge's wondrous and amazing
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24. traveling sideshow.
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25. Egon, why are we here?
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26. That was a mistake.
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27. Well, we're here because five billion
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28. years ago,
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29. there was a cataclysmic explosion that
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30. literally.
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31. No, Egon, time, time.
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32. I meant, what are we doing way out here
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33. in the Poconos?
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34. Oh, we're here to check that out.
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35. See the amazing two-headed rabbit, a
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36. living unicorn,
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37. a real mermaid, and drool, the dog-faced
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38. goblin?
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39. Nah, no way, it's gotta be bogus.
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40. How could a sleazy two-bit operation like
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41. this contain a real goblin?
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42. Anyone who looks like a spokesman for
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43. a discount stereo store
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44. should be careful who he calls sleazy.
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45. You must be Madame Lefarge, nice place
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46. you got here, we're the Ghostbusters.
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47. We're here to solve your goblin
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48. problem.
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49. That's very nice, but I don't have a
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50. goblin problem.
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51. Yes, you do.
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52. No, I don't.
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53. Now if you don't mind, I have a show to
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54. put on.
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55. Well, folks, we've managed to coax her
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56. out of retirement.
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57. Please welcome, Little Egypt.
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58. Little Egypt?
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59. I don't know, I think she's kind of
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60. nice.
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61. There really is a goblin.
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62. Relax, it's all done with mirrors.
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63. Mirrors don't give PKE readings like
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64. this.
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65. I think we've got a free-standing, four-
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66. footed,
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67. four-armed, garden-variety, green goblin
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68. here.
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69. Well, what are we waiting for?
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70. Let's bust him.
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71. Ladies and gentlemen, we have the
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72. situation under control.
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73. Please file out in a calm, orderly
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74. fashion.
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75. Somehow I don't think they believed
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76. you, Ray.
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77. Okay, Little Italy, ease out of the
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78. way so we can get a clear shot.
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79. It's Egypt, Little Egypt.
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80. All right, boys, let's sauté this
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81. puppy.
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82. Stop!
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83. Lady!
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84. You're making a terrible mistake.
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85. Please don't fire those things at Drool.
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86. He's part of the show.
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87. He says, pleased to meet you.
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88. You mean it's a pet?
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89. Hardly.
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90. Drool adopted us a couple of years ago,
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91. and he's been tagging along ever since.
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92. I finally put him in the show.
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93. Yeah, sure.
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94. Cleo and this guy didn't exactly look
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95. like they were having tea.
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96. That's just part of his performance.
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97. Drool, show these nice people what else
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98. you can do.
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99. Look at him.
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100. Hey!
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101. Hey!
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102. He did it!
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103. Steve!
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104. Get away!
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105. Gross!
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106. Yucco, come on lady, let us bust him,
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107. he's terminally gross.
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108. Absolutely not!
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109. Drool is perfectly harmless.
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110. Don't you think all this running around,
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111. busting ghosts has made you guys just a
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112. little trigger happy?
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113. Well.
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114. Okay, we'll go, but just remember,
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115. death by slobber is not a pretty sight.
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116. I still think we should have busted that
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117. thing.
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118. But what if Madame Lafarge is right?
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119. Maybe he is just a harmless, four-footed,
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120. green goblin.
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121. Sorry, harmless and goblin are
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122. mutually exclusive terms.
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123. What does that mean?
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124. It means we should have busted him.
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125. No, Ecto-1, don't do this to me.
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126. Come on now, don't strand us out here in
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127. Double Nitzville.
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128. Peter, push, or I'm getting out the k
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129. ryptonite.
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130. Okay, okay.
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131. You almost got yourself stir fried.
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132. What is that?
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133. Well, if you ask me, it looks very
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134. much like a certain goblin we all know.
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135. Come on, let's get Ecto-1 to a garage.
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136. Will someone shut that dog up?
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137. I'm trying to get some work done.
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138. Hey, stupid dog, shut up.
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139. Jeez, must be a mutant strain.
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140. This is not natural, even for the P
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141. oconos.
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142. Is that room service?
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143. Come on in.
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144. Just leave the coffee on the desk, thanks.
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145. You call this coffee?
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146. That tastes like mud.
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147. Oh, sorry, it is mud.
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148. A shower.
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149. Are you okay, Peter?
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150. What is that stuff?
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151. It's tomato soup.
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152. Anybody got any croutons?
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153. I'm gonna get that little nerk.
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154. Morning already?
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155. It seems like I just went to sleep.
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156. Boy, I don't know.
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157. I don't believe we're home, right?
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158. Well, at least it'll be a pleasant
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159. drive home.
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160. Ow. >> That hurts.
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161. What is this?
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162. That's not hail.
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163. It's hominy grits.
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164. Fuck, boss, on the bike.
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165. How many grits do you think we see?
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166. Very cute, pal.
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167. Really funny.
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168. We're rolling in the aisles here.
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169. The real Ghostbusters will return
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170. after these messages.
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171. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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172. I think we're gonna need a bigger trap.
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173. Look out.
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174. Get back.
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175. What?
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176. I want you to know I'm not having a
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177. good time.
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178. I couldn't agree more.
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179. What?
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180. There's only one logical thing to do.
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181. Run away.
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182. Faster.
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183. I can't go any faster.
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184. Yes, I can.
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185. Man, why did we come into a laundry?
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186. Winston wants to die a clean death.
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187. Yikes.
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188. That's not a good look for you.
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189. Well, I guess if we're wrong about
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190. that little goblin guy, this baby's way
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191. too big.
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192. Shoo, shoo, get away.
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193. I said move it, buster.
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194. It worked.
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195. Of course, you just have to show these
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196. things who's boss.
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197. So now if you'll excuse me, I'm going out
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198. for a burger.
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199. Huh?
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200. What is this?
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201. It's the thing, the monster, it's here
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202. , only it's different.
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203. Peter, calm down, you're babbling.
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204. What word don't you understand, Egon,
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205. thing, monster, or different?
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206. Well, we can start with your
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207. definition of monster.
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208. Looks like there's only one logical
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209. thing to do now.
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210. Run away again.
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211. No, in here.
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212. Man, we can't keep running away from
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213. that thing.
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214. We have to set up an ambush so we can
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215. trap it.
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216. And all we need is some nice juicy
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217. bait.
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218. All you have to do is keep the
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219. creature occupied while we move in on him
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220. from behind.
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221. You've got the easy job.
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222. Phew, what a relief.
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223. For a minute there, I thought it was
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224. gonna be dangerous.
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225. We're counting on you.
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226. Okay.
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227. Let's go.
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228. Well, how bad can it be anyway?
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229. Pretty bad.
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230. What we're dealing with here is a non-am
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231. algamated shape changer.
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232. It can attack in any form.
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233. It could be a demon.
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234. Or a banshee.
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235. Or a ghoul.
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236. Or even a dybbuk.
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237. What's a dybbuk?
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238. Better you shouldn't know.
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239. Could be a phantasm.
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240. A troll.
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241. A troglodyte.
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242. A specter. >> A wraith.
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243. A doppelganger.
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244. Poltergeist.
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245. Nuncubus.
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246. Do you mind?
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247. Sorry.
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248. All I wanted was a nice little goblin to
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249. zap, but no.
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250. Okay, okay, here we go.
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251. Whatever it is, you can handle it.
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252. You can handle anything.
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253. But that.
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254. No.
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255. Not that.
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256. Anything but that.
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257. I hate cockroaches.
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258. We're coming, Peter.
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259. Don't move.
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260. Guys.
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261. Guys, do you mind?
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262. Hang on, we're almost there.
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263. Fire.
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264. Quick, he's got the keys to the roach
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265. motel.
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266. Fire.
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267. Get it.
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268. Don't hit Peter.
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269. I can't.
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270. It's moving.
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271. Help, help, help.
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272. Please.
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273. Actually, I've always been nice to cockro
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274. aches.
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275. I leave dirty dishes in the sink.
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276. I never wipe the counters.
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277. Really, ask Egon.
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278. I think we scared him off.
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279. Bets, anyone?
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280. I'll pass.
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281. Actually, you weren't much help, Peter.
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282. Look, let's get this straight.
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283. Ghosts, goblins, fine.
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284. I can handle that.
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285. But no giant cockroaches, okay?
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286. Now what do we do?
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287. How do we capture something that keeps
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288. changing shapes?
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289. It's just plain cheating, if you ask
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290. me.
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291. I kind of wish it was that drool
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292. goblin thing.
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293. Then at least we'd know what we were
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294. dealing with.
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295. Wait a second, why can't it be the
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296. goblin?
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297. He changed forms while we were there.
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298. But maybe the goblin's just pretending
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299. to be less powerful.
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300. I think we're reaching here, fellas.
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301. It's kind of like that free-floating m
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302. iasmic phantom that we never could catch.
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303. Remember that guy?
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304. Yeah, he changed forms too.
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305. First he was a phantom, then he was a
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306. carnivorous vacuum cleaner.
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307. I've still got the scars.
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308. Anybody wanna see?
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309. Peter, we just ate.
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310. Yeah, that phantom was nasty, all right.
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311. Too bad he got away.
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312. Well, we're not gonna let this one get
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313. away.
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314. Come on.
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315. May I ask where you're going?
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316. To bust your little friend.
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317. He's an unamam, ananam, teller, Egon.
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318. An unamalgamated shape changer, or so
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319. my colleagues would have us believe.
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320. And it's been a very naughty boy.
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321. Now if you'll step aside.
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322. But Drool's our friend.
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323. He wouldn't harm a hair on a human's head.
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324. We're absolutely sure that your goblin
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325. is more than he appears to be.
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326. Well, we're pretty sure.
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327. But not entirely sure.
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328. Almost sure.
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329. Sorry, but we gotta bust him.
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330. Are you going to let them do this?
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331. Well, it is a goblin after all.
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332. Knowing does look pretty harmless.
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333. Yeah, he's really scared.
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334. Don't trust him for a second, it's all
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335. a ruse.
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336. You have exactly one sixteenth of a
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337. nanosecond to get your affairs in order.
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338. Time's up, suck him into the trap.
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339. Help, help, there's a horrible thing
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340. outside.
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341. It's got some of my people.
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342. Sure, lady, trying to distract us, huh?
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343. Peter, I don't think that's a
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344. distraction.
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345. Wait a minute, if it's not drool, then
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346. it must be him.
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347. Him?
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348. The shape changer that got away last
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349. week.
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350. It's got to be the same one.
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351. He must have been following us the whole
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352. time, waiting to strike back.
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353. Move away.
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354. Get away. >> Okay, that thing's
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355. dangerous, move.
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356. Stand back.
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357. They're trapped.
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358. No, you might hit the people.
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359. Let go drool, you're in the line of
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360. fire.
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361. Drool.
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362. He can't, if he lets go, those people
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363. have had it.
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364. We can't fire, we'll blast him too.
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365. What did he say?
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366. He said, save them, do what you have
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367. to.
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368. Take it all back, buddy.
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369. Is there no way to release him?
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370. When you trap two ghosts at the same
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371. time, their molecules mix.
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372. You can't separate them.
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373. Well, Miss Jewel, he was a loyal
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374. friend.
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375. All of us are proud to have known him.
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376. Well, at least when we put him in the
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377. containment unit at home,
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378. he'll be among his own kind.
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379. Maybe you'll be happy there.
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380. I guess that's why he tagged along in
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381. the first place.
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382. He wanted friends.
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383. Well, he found some here, we will
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384. always remember him.
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385. The real Ghostbusters will return
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386. after these messages.
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387. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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388. Dig.
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