1. - Whew, the real Ghostbusters
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2. will return after these messages.
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3. We now return to the real Ghostbusters.
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4. - Something is missing from this sauce.
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5. - Waiter, pass the pasta.
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6. - Pass the bread.
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7. - There's a fly in my soup.
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8. - I say, Olivia, weren't those
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9. the ghost smashers who just ran by?
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10. - I hadn't noticed.
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11. Where's our waiter?
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12. - Oh, you know, the ghost smashers.
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13. They're always in the National Inquisitor.
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14. - That's the National Intruder, John,
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15. and they're called the Ghostbusters.
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16. Can't you get anything right?
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17. - Oh, the Ghostbusters, of course.
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18. Maybe we should contact them about our
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19. little problem.
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20. - Absolutely not.
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21. We can handle one old ghost by ourselves.
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22. There's no reason to bring in outsiders.
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23. - Yes, dear.
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24. A dinner is served, madam.
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25. - I see him, I got him.
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26. I see him, you got him.
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27. I missed.
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28. There he goes.
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29. - I'll get him.
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30. - Look out!
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31. - Hey, what the?
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32. - What are you doing?
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33. - Hey, let's go get him.
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34. - Huh?
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35. - How you guys doing?
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36. Need any help?
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37. - We're in control, Ray.
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38. Nothing unusual here.
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39. - I've always wanted to do this.
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40. Think fast.
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41. - One trap with ghost stuffing coming up.
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42. - Good going, guys.
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43. - Mr. Ghost Smasher, no, Mr. Ghostbuster,
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44. might I have one of your calling cards?
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45. - We don't employ ruffians.
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46. We can solve our own ghost problems.
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47. Now come along.
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48. - Yes, dear.
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49. Whatever you say, dear.
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50. - He seems okay, but I wonder what he
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51. sees in her.
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52. - Winston!
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53. - We're going to get rid of the ghost of
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54. Uncle Horace
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55. all by ourselves.
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56. Now just pay attention.
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57. I'll explain it to you.
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58. - Yes, dear.
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59. - And John, try not to slam the car door.
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60. - Yes, dear.
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61. - He seeks it here, he seeks it there.
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62. He's looking for it everywhere.
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63. Is it in the hallway?
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64. Maybe in the well.
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65. That old elusive, whatchamacallit.
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66. This seeking sure is hard work.
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67. If only I had some idea what I'm looking
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68. for.
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69. Huh?
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70. Oh, that was close.
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71. I'll need this in case there are things
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72. in the dark
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73. like ghosts, you know.
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74. There must be something wrong with this
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75. mirror.
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76. I'll have to get it fixed.
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77. - Are you certain this plan will work, my
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78. dear?
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79. - My plan is flawless, perfect.
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80. It's not in the attic.
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81. It's not in the well.
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82. Maybe I should check the basement.
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83. No, no, I already did that.
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84. Maybe the pantry.
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85. I always like checking in there.
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86. - Ooh, boo, boo, yes.
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87. Boo, boo.
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88. - Think me, that sounds like a ghost.
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89. Find my whatever with a ghost hanging
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90. around.
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91. Oh no, what if he's looking for something
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92. too?
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93. What if he's looking for me?
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94. - Ooh, um, ee, ah, ooh, ooh, how did I
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95. sound, Olivia?
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96. Rather spooky I thought.
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97. - I'm not sure and I'd rather not dwell
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98. on it.
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99. It'll make the outlook so depressing.
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100. - Shall we take the right, the left,
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101. or just forge on ahead?
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102. - We can just get this over with much
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103. quicker
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104. if we split up.
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105. You go that way.
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106. - But Olivia, my sweet, I would hate to
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107. leave you alone
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108. and unprotected.
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109. - And who's going to protect you?
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110. Oh, there's Uncle Horace.
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111. Let's get it right the first time, okay?
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112. Stop shaking, he's just a ghost.
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113. It's a ghost, whoa, ow, oh my, ah, ah, ah.
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114. Was that Uncle Horace?
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115. You didn't tell me he was so, so ugly.
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116. - How dare you call my uncle ugly?
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117. Before he took up haunting,
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118. Uncle Horace was the finest chef in the
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119. East.
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120. I was his favorite niece, then he let me
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121. down here.
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122. Let's stop standing around, okay?
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123. - That was close.
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124. I never thought that ghosts could be so,
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125. so ugly, ghosts.
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126. Well, this certainly complicates things.
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127. Think me, how am I ever gonna find my,
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128. whatever it is?
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129. Ghosts in the attic, spirits in the night,
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130. trolls on the bridge, that's all right.
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131. Call the Ghostbusters, just dial, no
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132. ghosts.
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133. Ghostbusters, yes, yes, yes, no.
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134. Yes, the Stewart Mansion in Glen Cove?
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135. Oh yes, we're very confidential.
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136. Here you go, boys, your next assignment.
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137. - It's a real rush job.
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138. - Not if you hung me by my toes
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139. from the World Trade Center.
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140. We've been at it for two days straight
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141. and I'm going Betty by.
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142. - We need our full eight hours.
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143. - Yeah, there's nothing you can say
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144. that'll get us to go back out there.
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145. - The Stewart Mansion, old money,
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146. and this time I get that raise, you
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147. promise.
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148. - Hey, I'm wide awake. - Nice driving,
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149. Bob.
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150. - I sure could use some pool, my dear.
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151. - Yeah, yeah, at least so.
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152. - Nice cottage, pretentious without being
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153. ostentatious.
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154. Looks like they had one heavy party in
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155. here last night.
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156. - Ooh wee, the ghost that did this
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157. must have been one bad dude.
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158. No wonder Janine said this was a rush job.
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159. - Gee, I don't know, guys.
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160. This may be too much for us.
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161. I don't think we'll ever find that nasty
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162. old ghost.
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163. - It's too bad we have to give up so soon.
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164. We might as well face it, we're licked.
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165. - We've only got one alternative.
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166. - Yeah, let's go home.
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167. - Okay, I need some sleep.
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168. - Thank me, I thought I saw the strangest
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169. creatures.
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170. Four of them, I...
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171. - The real Ghostbusters will return after
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172. these messages.
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173. Ooh, we now return to the real
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174. Ghostbusters.
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175. - We've got the little ghost now.
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176. Shall I do the honors?
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177. - Ghost?
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178. What do you mean, ghost?
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179. You people are making a terrible mistake.
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180. I'm not a ghost.
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181. - Say what?
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182. - I resent this unwarranted attack.
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183. I am not a ghost.
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184. And if you persist in treating me like
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185. one,
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186. I'll, I'll sue, do you hear me?
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187. I'll sue.
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188. - This is interesting, Ray.
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189. Remember that hefty apparition on West 34
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190. th Street?
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191. Well, this spunky little fellow's just
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192. the same.
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193. He really doesn't know that he's...
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194. - Do you think he could actually sue us?
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195. - Wake up, Horace.
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196. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that
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197. midnight snack.
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198. Rabbit always gives me the strangest
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199. dreams.
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200. I know, I'll pinch myself.
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201. That'll wake me.
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202. Oh, no.
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203. - That's right, mister.
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204. You're a ghost.
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205. And from the looks of this place, a very
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206. messy ghost.
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207. - Think me, I am a ghost.
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208. That certainly explains everything, doesn
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209. 't it?
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210. - Afraid so.
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211. Now if you'll just step into this little
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212. duplex ghost trap.
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213. - You certainly don't think I'm
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214. responsible
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215. for this destruction.
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216. I'm the one who called you fellows in.
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217. Here, just like it says on this card.
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218. - Gentlemen, I officially declare this
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219. ghost's mansion
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220. haunted, in stereo.
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221. - Winston and I'll check it out.
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222. You two watch Mr. Identity Crisis here.
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223. Check.
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224. - Ditto.
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225. - Yay!
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226. - Sounds like Uncle Horace knows how to
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227. have a good time.
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228. - He always did.
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229. Pick up your sheet and come on.
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230. - Dixieland.
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231. Our little sprite's got good taste.
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232. - It's the Ghostbusters.
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233. - What are they doing here?
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234. Did you call them?
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235. - Never.
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236. But now that they're here,
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237. we can let them take care of Horace.
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238. - No, this is family business.
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239. Besides, they'll ruin the carpet.
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240. You scare them away, I'll take care of my
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241. uncle.
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242. - I'm sure we passed that picture before.
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243. We're just going around in big circles.
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244. - I don't know.
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245. I'd like a second opinion.
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246. Ooh, ah, whee!
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247. Now that's service.
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248. Hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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249. Ooh, ooh.
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250. Ooh, hiss, aye.
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251. Ow, ah!
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252. - Wow, did you see that?
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253. Nice tennis shoes.
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254. - Nice sheet.
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255. - Trolley, gentlemen.
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256. It simply never occurred to me that I
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257. could be a ghost.
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258. Oh, now I'll never find my, well,
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259. whatever it was.
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260. I guess it doesn't matter now.
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261. Are you going to dispose of me?
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262. - Well, you did call us for help
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263. and I guess it'd be impolite to zap your
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264. employer.
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265. - The best scenario is to let Horace
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266. disperse peacefully,
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267. but he can't, not until he finds what he
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268. 's looking for.
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269. - So let's go.
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270. Now, can you remember where you last saw
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271. it, Horace?
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272. - If it was that simple,
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273. I wouldn't be in this mess now, would I?
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274. Funny, I don't remember switching on the
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275. record player.
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276. - You didn't.
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277. The other ghost went upstairs.
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278. It's probably responsible for this
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279. musical interlude.
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280. - Hmm, so much for your meters.
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281. There are two other ghosts, not one.
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282. I've seen them.
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283. - One.
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284. - Piffle, I've had enough.
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285. First I find I'm a ghost, and now this?
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286. - Hey, this ghost's pretty mean.
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287. I think you should leave the rough stuff
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288. to us, Horace.
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289. - Why, don't you think I can take care of
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290. myself?
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291. Watch this, I'll show you how scary I can
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292. be
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293. when I put my mind to it.
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294. - Who knows what evil lurks in the brains
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295. of ducks?
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296. Me do, me do.
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297. Be gone, little fish.
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298. My pond is too big for the likes of you.
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299. No, I said be gone.
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300. Put me down, put me down, you broke.
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301. Boo.
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302. Oh, no you don't.
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303. It's time we had a little talk.
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304. - All right, I confess, I'm not really a
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305. ghost.
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306. I'm an imposter.
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307. - Never would have guessed.
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308. Say, I remember you from the restaurant.
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309. What are you doing here?
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310. - My fiance, Olivia Stewart, recently
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311. inherited this estate
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312. and she wants to sell it, but she can't
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313. because it's haunted.
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314. - So you thought to beat the ghost at his
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315. own game.
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316. You folks are too much.
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317. - Oh my goodness, that's Olivia.
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318. Courage my love, I'll save you.
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319. - Ray, Egon, did you hear that?
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320. Wait ahead of you Winston, meet us in the
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321. playroom.
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322. - You're never gonna believe this.
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323. What is this, a dime a dance joint?
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324. Sorry, my dance card's all filled up.
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325. - Horace, let go of Olivia immediately.
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326. - Hold it Buster, I believe the lady
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327. promised
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328. the first dance to me.
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329. - Aren't you ghost smashers going to
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330. rescue
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331. my poor dear Olivia?
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332. - Hey, don't I know you?
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333. - Oh no, another one, oh.
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334. - He's no fun, he fell right over.
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335. What happened to the great lover?
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336. - Gentlemen, I suggest we concern
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337. ourselves
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338. with the damsel in distress.
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339. - We can't fire as long as he's holding
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340. her.
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341. - See that chandelier, it's giving me an
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342. idea for a plan.
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343. I want you guys to wait until I—
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344. - Just hold on Peter, you plan to swing
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345. from the chandelier because it's
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346. something
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347. you've always wanted to do.
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348. Well for once, what you wanna do
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349. is exactly what I've always wanted to do.
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350. - Hey, be my guest Egon, if it means that
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351. much to you.
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352. - Perhaps I wasn't that hasty.
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353. - It always works in the movies.
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354. - Yes, but they have standing.
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355. - Now.
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356. - I say, whoops.
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357. - My hero.
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358. - My niece, now I remember what I've been
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359. looking for.
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360. I remember.
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361. - He'll never tango again.
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362. - How did I do Peter?
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363. - Couldn't have done it better myself,
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364. which I for one would never actually do.
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365. Guy could get killed.
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366. - Oh?
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367. - I know you, you're my niece Olivia.
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368. I wasn't looking for a thing, I was
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369. looking for you.
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370. I just, I just wanted to tell you that I
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371. love you.
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372. One last time.
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373. - Oh, Uncle Horace, I'm so ashamed.
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374. When you left me without saying goodbye,
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375. I—
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376. - Us, child, that's all done now.
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377. Goodbye, Olivia, my favorite and most
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378. special niece.
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379. - Oh, Uncle Horace.
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380. - He's gone.
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381. He dispersed peacefully.
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382. - There, there, my dear, he's found his
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383. piece at last.
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384. You know, darling, I don't think we
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385. should sell this place.
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386. I think our kids will really enjoy
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387. growing up here.
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388. - Looks like our job is over.
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389. - Yeah, let's blow this pop stand.
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390. - Phew, the real Ghostbusters
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391. will return after these messages.
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392. Oh, we now return to the real
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393. Ghostbusters.
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