The Politician 1x4

1. Mr. and Mrs. Sloan?

2. Have you spoken to Payton Hobart yet?

3. They're running against each other for student body president.

4. I know under normal circumstances that might not seem like a motive

5. to do something like this, but Payton is not normal.

6. Think it's coincidence my daughter's ex-boyfriend

7. happened to shoot himself in front of this kid?

8. That's an open investigation, so I can't comment on that.

9. But if I did, I'd say there's something janky about that whole situation.

10. I knew it. What are you waiting for? Go arrest him!

11. We can't just arrest people. Not rich people at least.

12. This has nothing to do with Payton.

13. He was beating her.

14. Why mess with her now?

15. I mean, I think he...

16. I'm sorry.

17. My wife is— She's drunk. And on pills.

18. Way she keeps moving her mouth, I'd guess a combination of Klonopin,

19. vodka, and grapefruit juice.

20. - He wants to have sex with our daughter. - What the hell is wrong with you?

21. That's why he hates the boys that have anything to do with her.

22. River, Payton. He wants her for himself.

23. You know how we met?

24. I hired her from a service called The Girlfriend Experience

25. to be my date at a fundraiser for Ron Paul.

26. I'm telling you this because I want you to know what kind of woman my wife is.

27. I'm not ashamed of who I am.

28. I was an actress performing for an audience of one.

29. - You married a hooker,

30. so what does that say about the kind of man my husband is?

31. You two seem to have found a way to make a life for yourselves.

32. I want Payton handcuffed, I want a perp walk,

33. and I want him humiliated for what he's done to my daughter!

34. I can't just handcuff a high school kid and march him downtown.

35. I have to gather evidence, interview witnesses.

36. There are procedures and...

37. protocols, and I could get into a lot of trouble if I break them.

38. How much?

39. That's a really nice watch.

40. The numbers are in. It's not great.

41. The last poll before the video was released

42. showed us pulling even with Astrid,

43. our momentum had us poised to overtake her by election day.

44. The latest poll showed a drop of four points.

45. Largest single-day drop of the campaign. We've lost all 22 LGBT-plus voters.

46. The Haitian vote has turned against us.

47. It's really sensitive to gay rights issues.

48. Can we just call him Pierre instead of the Haitian vote?

49. And this is before Astrid released any official response.

50. - We will lose the election by 15 points. - Okay, let's...

51. let's pump the brakes for a second, okay?

52. Infinity said "buttmunch."

53. Right? That's like the weakest burn in history.

54. Did you just wake up from a decade-long nap?

55. Infinity screamed "buttmunch" at a news anchor with highlights

56. and a saunter in his step, if you know what I mean.

57. What I mean is he's clearly gay,

58. which means that she was shaming his homosexuality

59. and made a bigoted assumption about his predilection for anilingus.

60. It's unacceptable.

61. But is there a world in which that was a good thing?

62. You know, like a... "Look, that's obviously not what she meant,

63. we've all gotten a little too PC" angle?

64. Right? Could we spin this thing and attract us some votes?

65. Uh, yeah, if you want to extend the franchise to shop teachers

66. and white male janitorial staff 55 and older.

67. Also, these nachos are disgusting.

68. Can I throw them into the toilet so we can all skip the middleman?

69. Infinity is off the ticket effective immediately.

70. We issue a statement within the hour about our zero-tolerance policy for hate speech.

71. And pray no one finds out about the cancer thing.

72. You mean the doesn't have cancer thing.

73. Can I just say something?

74. And I'm not saying "I told you so" when in fact I did tell you so

75. - numerous times. - You can't help yourself.

76. Infinity was the wrong choice.

77. You can't resist a chance to rub my nose in shit

78. - we are all aware we stepped in! - I am telling you!

79. This is a ghost that will be haunting us for the rest of our lives.

80. The skeleton in our closet is a little shrively one in a wheelchair

81. named Infinity Jackson, who we knew did not have cancer

82. and we withheld that information.

83. If that were to get out, and I don't mean next week, I mean ever—

84. Noted, James!

85. That's not my concern right now. Who is her replacement?

86. - I say we go with the Haitian. - Do you mean Pierre?

87. No. Pierre's not the right pick. It seems cynical.

88. It looks like we're in panic mode, but we're...

89. I mean, we're not dead yet, are we?

90. No...

91. not yet.

92. Okay, get me some more candidates.

93. Our VP is out there somewhere. We just...

94. we can't see it yet.

95. What do we do about Infinity?

96. Leave that to me.

97. Payton Hobart, we'd like you to come with us.

98. What? Why?

99. You're a person of interest in the disappearance of Astrid Sloan.

100. - Just wanna ask you some questions. - What?

101. Palms together, like you're praying.

102. I don't have to answer your questions until I talk to my lawyer.

103. Relax. You're not being arrested. We're just talking.

104. Your classmate Astrid went missing sometime last night

105. and there was reason to believe that she was taken against her will.

106. Now if you had nothing to do with that, just tell me and I'll get you out of here.

107. Where were you last night?

108. I was at home.

109. Studying.

110. For a Mandarin exam.

111. Okay.

112. And your parents were home? They'll be able to confirm where you were?

113. They were at a benefit.

114. Got home around midnight. Until then, I was alone.

115. But you probably called someone.

116. Texted somebody while you were home alone?

117. I turned my phone off.

118. Right. Mandarin.

119. It's hard.

120. Gotta concentrate.

121. Look... Payton,

122. before I brought you in, I did my homework too.

123. I heard you and your buddies like to hang out at the 24 Diner in Milpas.

124. So, I checked it out.

125. Two witnesses say they overheard you talking about somebody named Astrid

126. and that you said you were quote, "Gonna kill her."

127. He was rude to me the second I came over.

128. I was like, "Can I take your order?" As nice as can be.

129. And he's like,

130. "Nobody wants any food, all right? Here's some money, bitch.

131. Please go away."

132. And I tell you, we get those rich kids in there all the time.

133. They're drunk, they're high.

134. But he wasn't.

135. He was just angry,

136. and I could tell they were hatching some sort of a plan.

137. But I didn't think anything of it.

138. Then I hear...

139. Screw Astrid! I'm gonna kill her!

140. I gotta find out what's on that tape.

141. You are aware of the term hyperbole, right?

142. So, it's an exaggerated statement that isn't meant to be taken literally.

143. So, for example, if a sportscaster reports that

144. the Dodgers "killed" the Colorado Rockies on Sunday night,

145. it doesn't usually trigger a mass murder investigation.

146. - So you did say it? - I was angry.

147. She's my opponent for student body president

148. and she knows she can't beat me on the merits, so she chose to fight dirty.

149. Now, she had just released private video footage of my running mate on the internet

150. in an effort to discredit my campaign.

151. Footage that she likely obtained illegally, I might add.

152. So I raced out of the diner to try to get on the same page with my VP,

153. and try to mitigate some of the damage.

154. Not, as you are suggesting, to kidnap and murder Astrid.

155. This, uh...

156. running mate of yours, is she still your running mate?

157. Sort of. What do you mean?

158. Who's Pierre Toussaint?

159. He's a classmate. Why?

160. Are you aware he was also in the diner that night?

161. Yeah. I was pulling an all-nighter

162. to try to get a term paper finished.

163. I saw them all come in, but I didn't want them to see me

164. because they're always asking me about the race.

165. Seriously, I've probably been polled, like, 25 times.

166. And they're always like, "We're really interested in getting a feel for where

167. the Haitian vote is."

168. And I'm like, "What Haitian vote? It's just me, I'm one dude!"

169. And when I heard him yelling, I didn't think anything of it.

170. Even when Astrid went missing the next day, I was like,

171. "Well, there's no way Payton did it."

172. But, what weirded me out was the next day, one of his campaign people was polling me

173. and asking me questions about the Haitian perspective or whatever.

174. And then she brought up something else.

175. Can I ask you something off the record?

176. If Payton were to offer you the VP slot, would you take it?

177. And then I started thinking about the Astrid thing.

178. Like, Payton clearly knew that we're in trouble.

179. But with her out of the way, he's guaranteed to win.

180. Just...

181. it seemed like the whole thing moved really fast.

182. Does this thrilling and entirely irrelevant twist of a classmate

183. speculating that I had something to do with this

184. mean that I'm under arrest right now?

185. Or am I free to go?

186. Hey!

187. Hey!

188. Hey, you can't just leave me in here! Come back!

189. We live in a world where women are silenced.

190. Astrid Sloan has joined the 40,000 women in this country who have disappeared.

191. Vanished without a trace.

192. At this point, she's been missing for almost 48 hours.

193. A fact that demands we come to grips with an unsettling fact:

194. Astrid is probably dead.

195. Another woman gone.

196. A woman whose only crime was that she dared to speak her mind,

197. dared to try to make this world a better place.

198. And once again,

199. this bravery,

200. this audacious sense of optimism,

201. is not met with applause.

202. No shouts of "You go, girl!"

203. It is met with murder.

204. What can we do, O Lord, in the face of this grief?

205. This... anger?

206. Listen. Really listen.

207. Can you hear her?

208. She's calling to us. She's saying, "Students!

209. Voters!

210. Vote!"

211. And vote we shall!

212. Astrid, I will carry this burden.

213. I will run in your place.

214. God bless this campaign!

215. Oh, thank God. It's about time.

216. - Yeah, it is. - Hey! Hey!

217. Where are you taking me?

218. Where are we?

219. Where the hell are we?

220. Oh, Mom and Dad!

221. Get him out of there.

222. That's right.

223. Oh, thank God.

224. They didn't hurt you, did they, son?

225. The police station was surrounded by press.

226. No, we couldn't walk you out and have you photographed.

227. We thought you might feel compelled to make a statement.

228. Of course I would've been compelled.

229. I wrote it out on the toilet paper in my cell. It was brilliant.

230. Best to lay low for a few days.

231. The election is next week!

232. My lawyer will be in touch?

233. Yes, yes.

234. We agreed to buy him a timeshare in Mexico for sneaking you out.

235. Let's get you a cup of cocoa.

236. Where's Dad?

237. A new shipment came from Henry Boards.

238. First edition Yeats.

239. He was a fascist. Yeats, not Dad.

240. So you two are okay?

241. We are... what we need to be to protect you:

242. a family.

243. That makes me sad.

244. "The light of light looks on the motive, not the deed.

245. The shadow of shadows looks on the deed alone."

246. Yeats.

247. Did you do it, Payton?

248. Hurt Astrid?

249. How can you ask me that, Mom?

250. No.

251. I was gonna beat her.

252. Could you have?

253. I don't know.

254. Yes.

255. Why this dream?

256. Because I'm compelled.

257. Like...

258. like when they give you an answer on a math test

259. and it's your job to work your way backwards until you find the problem.

260. I don't know what I'll find when I get there, but...

261. I know this is my only path.

262. Why does that make you cry?

263. Because I love you so much.

264. And I know I'm gonna do whatever it takes to help you get what you want.

265. And I'm sad for the person that's gonna turn me into.

266. Four days now, and I have not heard anyone mention

267. the real villain in all of this:

268. legal pot.

269. Don't tell me marijuana did not have something to do with

270. - this poor girl's disappearance. - I'm not disagreeing.

271. What'd you shut it off for?

272. I just wanted to make sure they had no clue about where we are.

273. Yet.

274. They're not gonna find us.

275. We're only using cash.

276. We checked in here using my fake ID.

277. We're 3,000 miles away from anyone who's looking for us.

278. New York City's the place to go if you wanna get lost in a crowd.

279. Let's bang again.

280. No!

281. No!

282. We've done it, like, four times already today.

283. My pecker is raw, Astrid.

284. I'd always heard that dumb people were better at sex.

285. Why do you think that is?

286. Maybe it's 'cause you're not thinking about other things.

287. So you can just be, like, present.

288. I am dumb.

289. I'm so dumb!

290. They're gonna put me in the gas chamber for being part of this.

291. There's no death penalty in California.

292. Then they're gonna throw me in jail forever.

293. For what? I'm the one who forced you to take me here.

294. Now get back into bed and gimme that big, dumb wiener

295. or I'm gonna tell everybody you kidnapped me.

296. Okay.

297. I've never been happier in my life.

298. You took my sunshine away!

299. I felt trapped by my life.

300. There was no way out.

301. But then this idiot showed up and I knew he was my ticket to freedom.

302. His price was cheap: $300.

303. Get me out of here.

304. Pull it off.

305. All of it!

306. For that, he would trash my room and take me away.

307. Ow!

308. I took nothing. I wanted to start fresh.

309. Push it over.

310. - Come on. - Okay.

311. We traveled like real Americans: poor people.

312. For once in my life, I wanted to be average and normal.

313. Being lame was liberating.

314. I waited in lines.

315. I ate at chain restaurants.

316. I craved being a tourist, out of place, uncomfortable.

317. My whole life has been an exercise in pursuing comfort

318. so I could tolerate how miserable I was.

319. How much I hated my house, my parents, my friends.

320. - School pressure, social pressure. - Come on!

321. Not anymore.

322. - Pose!

323. New York hoochie!

324. Ricardo is not the best company, but he's perfect for this adventure.

325. Whirlie girlie!

326. I won't keep him forever, but I don't think I'll ever go back.

327. Oh, you hot New York bitch.

328. In my dream, I escape to Orlando, or someplace just as basic,

329. and they pin my disappearance on Payton and he goes to jail.

330. For life.

331. Infinity!

332. Sorry.

333. I miss her.

334. Don't you miss anyone?

335. No.

336. Hey, wanna go back to Bubba Gump's?

337. Okay.

338. Hi.

339. - Hi. - You wanted to see me?

340. Yeah.

341. I didn't know that there was a chapel at this school.

342. - Yeah. - Payton?

343. - Hmm? - Okay. I— I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

344. - Mm-hmm. - I just— I can't believe that...

345. Ricardo would do something like this. It has to be him.

346. I was with him when he saw the tape. I just—

347. I never thought in a billion years that he would betray me like that.

348. I think that we can fix this.

349. - Infinity— - I stayed up all night thinking about it,

350. and the plan that I have, I'm very excited—

351. I wanted to do you the honor of telling you this in person now.

352. Number one, you're off the ticket. Okay? You are no longer my vice president.

353. - What? - Number two,

354. and this— this is somewhat delicate—

355. How could you?

356. Excuse me, how could I?

357. You're just like everybody else.

358. All right then.

359. - I had a dream... - You—

360. - OK. - ... you're ruining it.

361. Point of fact, I was sorta the one with the dream.

362. Right? I don't think you spent your life dreaming about being

363. the vice president of anything. Let's just slow your roll.

364. What about everything you promised me?

365. Infinity, I think that you're a very damaged person,

366. but I respect you enough as an individual to give this to you straight.

367. I don't have enough proof to say so for sure,

368. but I am fairly certain that your grandmother has been poisoning you.

369. Payton...

370. - It's called Munchausen by proxy. - It's called what?

371. So it's "Munchausen by proxy."

372. I don't have Munchausen.

373. She is making you sick, Infinity.

374. I am sick, Payton.

375. I have cancer.

376. I don't know that you do.

377. You're trying to take advantage of me.

378. I'm trying to— How— How am I taking advantage?

379. Infinity, I want you to listen very closely to what I'm about to tell you

380. because I'm not gonna repeat myself and if I'm asked about this in the future,

381. I will have to deny it. We tested your blood, Infinity.

382. There was no sign of cancer.

383. Okay?

384. Liar.

385. - I'm lying. Great. Mm-hmm. - You're trying to trick me.

386. You probably just want to have sex with me.

387. - You wanna have sex with me. - Oh my— Yep!

388. You know what? You're right, Infinity. That's what I've been after.

389. This whole thing has been about just getting the chance to seduce you.

390. Listen, the next time that she tries to put a needle in your arm, don't let her.

391. Okay? You don't accept medicine

392. or "treatments" from anyone for... six months.

393. See if you feel better.

394. And then you graduate from this high school

395. and you get as far away from here as you possibly can.

396. But can... you at least give me some money?

397. No. No, no, no. I cannot be responsible for you. Okay?

398. There's legal ramifications here. That's like an admission of guilt.

399. That'd be like I played a part in all this.

400. But you did.

401. - Goodbye, Infinity. - Why won't you help me?

402. I just did! I just saved your life!

403. - Boy, this is something, isn't it?

404. I mean, this is the kind of treatment you are gonna have to get used to.

405. This is what being a celebrity is all about.

406. You never have to pay for anything.

407. Look at that.

408. Now, look, honey, I know that you are upset about this videotape thing,

409. but I talked to Ray.

410. He has a great idea.

411. He said all we have to say is that it's a fake.

412. I honestly don't understand why calling that gay man a buttmunch

413. was such a scandal.

414. I mean, whatever floats your boat.

415. That's what gays do.

416. Munch butts and...

417. celebrate Halloween.

418. It's over. Payton fired me.

419. What?

420. When did this happen?

421. And I know.

422. I know, Nana.

423. I know what you have been doing to me.

424. What are you talking about?

425. Munchausen by proxy.

426. Payton told me. Nana, I know that I don't have...

427. cancer.

428. Is this some kind of joke?

429. I don't know why you want to make me sick, I just know that...

430. really I'm...

431. I'm not sick.

432. What are you talking about?

433. That I want to make you sick?

434. What are all the injections, Nana?

435. You know what they are.

436. They're the chemo for your cancer.

437. Why is it that you and Ray are the only ones who can give me the injections

438. when a doctor is supposed to do that?

439. Oh, a doctor! A doctor?

440. If I left this in the hands of a doctor,

441. you would not be going to school,

442. you would not be sleeping in your own bed.

443. If I left it to a doctor,

444. you would be living your life in a hospital room.

445. It is only through my sacrifice,

446. I have given up my life so you could live the life you wanted,

447. and this is how you repay me?

448. And I don't know why that boy would tell you something like that,

449. but if he did, then he is evil.

450. They tested my blood, Nana!

451. - Sit down. - I don't care! I'm not gonna sit down!

452. - I don't care! - Sit down!

453. Everybody should know what she has been doing to me!

454. You should have to pay for all of this pasta!

455. You— You sit down!

456. Sit down!

457. Why did you lie to me?

458. I didn't lie to you.

459. You've taken everything from me.

460. You've taken my boyfriend.

461. Your boyfriend. Ha!

462. He is taking advantage of you.

463. You have the IQ of a kindergartner.

464. I'm gonna kill that boy.

465. I lost my shot at being vice president of my school.

466. And I lost my trust in you.

467. - No, no, no. Where are you going? - I don't know.

468. Maybe I'm gonna turn you in.

469. I haven't decided yet.

470. No more injections.

471. No more medicine.

472. - Who is that?

473. Hello?

474. You answered.

475. Where are you?

476. In hell without you, baby.

477. I saw that Frozen musical and all I could think was,

478. "Infinity is my Elsa."

479. You saw a musical without me?

480. Do you hate me?

481. Because all I was trying to do was be your hero.

482. Those people are taking advantage of you.

483. And I see that now.

484. You're the only one

485. who really loves me.

486. I'm comin' home to you, Infinity.

487. As soon as I can.

488. I love you so much.

489. I love you, Ricardo.

490. - Where's my lamb and rice platter? - What?

491. You left to get me a lamb and rice platter from the Halal cart down the block.

492. Whatever. Let's just have sex again.

493. No!

494. Never again.

495. I love one woman and one woman only.

496. Now and forever.

497. I'm going back to her. Today.

498. Where's my $300?

499. Top drawer of the dresser.

500. Take an extra hundred

501. for smokes and food on the road.

502. Thanks.

503. What are you gonna do?

504. Change my name. Dye my hair.

505. Disappear.

506. This is gonna get old.

507. I've lived poor and invisible.

508. It may be fun for someone like you to visit,

509. but there's no honor in living here.

510. We had a cool time and all,

511. but you should go home.

512. To what?

513. You worked so hard on that election.

514. I don't get how someone can care so much about something,

515. and then just run away right before the end.

516. I just don't like to lose.

517. My father really doesn't like me to lose.

518. Pretty, rich girls like you never lose.

519. They just don't win sometimes.

520. And thanks to me, Infinity isn't running anymore.

521. And that Payton guy is screwed.

522. If you're not home in a week, I'm gonna tell them where you are.

523. You really think I could win?

524. I'd vote for you.

525. Raise your arms.

526. - Let me get a baseline here.

527. Is your name Alice Charles?

528. Yes.

529. Was Payton Hobart involved with the disappearance of Astrid Sloan?

530. Let's go live to Janet Harcour, who is outside police headquarters...

531. What's going on?

532. is about to make a statement.

533. Hello. While the whereabouts of Astrid Sloan...

534. - What is she doing? - We have no idea.

535. her disappearance has caused some wild speculation throughout our community about

536. who may or may not be involved

537. and I wanted to provide as much information as I can

538. in regard to who is and who isn't an active person of interest at this time.

539. Payton Hobart was brought in for questioning and held for several hours,

540. but Alice Charles has passed a polygraph test confirming Payton's whereabouts

541. during the night in question.

542. Thank you, Chief.

543. As the chief just indicated,

544. I was with Payton Hobart the night that Astrid disappeared.

545. Payton was reluctant to name me as an alibi

546. as he wished to protect me from even the hint of scandal.

547. But I felt compelled to come forward to clear his name.

548. - You were with her that night? - Why didn't you just tell the police that?

549. In the meantime,

550. our thoughts and prayers are with Astrid's family

551. as we hope and pray for her return.

552. You told the police I was with you that night.

553. I wasn't.

554. But I said you were.

555. They were suspicious, so I agreed to a lie detector test,

556. which I passed.

557. Which means it wasn't a lie.

558. You were with me that night.

559. But I don't understand. How did you pass a polygraph?

560. A polygraph isn't a test.

561. It's an interrogation tool,

562. and the only role the polygraph plays is to intimidate.

563. You can't record truth or deception.

564. There's no such thing as a lying reaction.

565. What a polygraph records is nervousness.

566. And you didn't have anything to do with Astrid's disappearance.

567. I knew that in my heart.

568. Which meant I had nothing to be nervous about.

569. But still, you were making statements that you knew were false.

570. The machine had to have picked it up.

571. In a polygraph exam, you're asked two types of questions:

572. relevant questions and controls.

573. Do you live at 4353 Sycamore Drive?

574. Yes.

575. Besides what you've told me, have you ever lied to get out of trouble?

576. No.

577. Are you lying to protect Payton Hobart?

578. No.

579. The key to passing a lie detector test

580. is showing a reaction to the control questions...

581. Are you a student at St. Sebastian High School?

582. - ... with a series of short, rapid breaths.

583. Yes.

584. When they asked a relevant question...

585. Were you with Payton Hobart on the night of Astrid's disappearance?

586. I pictured you and me on the limo ride down Pennsylvania Avenue

587. toward the White House on the day of your first inaugural.

588. Yes.

589. Did you spend the night with him?

590. Yes.

591. She's telling the truth.

592. I can't believe it.

593. Believe what?

594. That I'm a stone-cold bitch with ice water in my veins?

595. Yes. Exactly.

596. I've missed you.

597. I've missed you too.

598. And I've never been more attracted to you.

599. God!

600. My baby!

601. My baby! My baby!

602. - Oh, are you hurt? - No.

603. Thank God. How did you escape?

604. We must call the police. Whoever took you will know that you'll come here.

605. Was it one of those situations like that Brie Larson movie?

606. No, Mom. I didn't escape. No one took me.

607. - Wha— - I ran away from home.

608. But there was blood all over the place.

609. They tested it, it wasn't yours.

610. It was Ricardo's.

611. I forced him to make it look like he kidnapped me,

612. but the honest truth is that I kinda kidnapped him.

613. I needed to get away.

614. I'm not happy.

615. I don't wanna hate my life anymore.

616. Not happy is not a reason to put us through all of this.

617. Not happy is what antidepressants are for.

618. I wanna feel my life, Mom.

619. If I'm too drugged up to know if I'm happy or sad,

620. how am I gonna know if I need to make changes?

621. Honey, people like us don't make changes.

622. Making changes could risk everything we've worked so hard to attain.

623. The first thing we're going to do is come up with a good enough story

624. to pin all of this on that Ricardo boy.

625. - What? - Sweetheart!

626. The entire community has gathered around you like some kid in a well.

627. If they find out this is just some silly teenage runaway story,

628. we will be humiliated.

629. 'Cause people who aren't like us get humiliated every day, Mom.

630. I saw it firsthand.

631. Waitresses, homeless going number two in the streets,

632. people on public transportation.

633. It's hell out there.

634. Which is why I'm gonna tell the truth about where I was and what I saw,

635. and win this election as a true woman of the people.

636. They will see through it.

637. You're not.

638. You're one of us.

639. I'm the daughter of a drug-addicted hooker.

640. I'm gonna tell them everything.

641. And then I'm gonna win.

642. Thank you all for coming.

643. As you can see, I'm not dead.

644. I'd like to give my sincerest apologies

645. for the media circus that my disappearance caused.

646. Please know that it was never my intention,

647. and that I plan to make amends and repay every taxpayer dollar spent

648. trying to ascertain my whereabouts.

649. I ran away because I felt overwhelmed...

650. by pressures both at home and at school.

651. But...

652. I'm here to tell you that running away really does only make it worse.

653. To my parents, my teachers, my peers, and my supporters,

654. I'm truly sorry to have let you down.

655. Am I crazy or is she kinda knocking this out of the park?

656. This is like '08 Hillary tearing up in that cafe in New Hampshire.

657. You're like, "Oh, I thought I hated her. Maybe I don't hate her."

658. She could not be more full of shit, but I believe everything.

659. - I don't know how she's doing it. - We get it. She's amazing.

660. We need to change the narrative, announce a new VP right now.

661. Well, I don't recognize any of these names.

662. I'm just saying, I think Pierre's the best option.

663. He seems interested, he'd be the first Haitian candidate in school history,

664. I think he could really move the needle.

665. Okay, well, he testified to the police that he thought we murdered Astrid,

666. James, he might not be our strongest advocate.

667. I'd seriously rather pick a lunch lady.

668. These are a no, try again!

669. So, the numbers are in.

670. And frankly, they're a little bit shocking.

671. They kind of made me question my own methodology.

672. But this poll was conducted no differently than prior polls.

673. It's the same live caller likely voter survey

674. that I've relied on this entire campaign.

675. And I can honestly stand here and tell you that I stand by this model.

676. Kris—

677. I know, it just, uh, it bears repeating.

678. Normally, at this phase of a campaign, a high-profile media event like today's,

679. I thought we'd see a much larger swing in the polls than we do.

680. - Good or bad, Kris? - Um...

681. Mostly bad. I thought that your press conference was masterful, Astrid.

682. Like, honestly, I would vote for you.

683. I mean, obviously, I will vote for you.

684. But you dipped and Payton rose.

685. We had a three-point lead after the Busch Gardens tape and now he's up four.

686. That's a seven-point swing in a week.

687. Which we could maybe claw back from if we had more time,

688. but the election's tomorrow.

689. Also, your approval rating is now underwater.

690. Fifty-one percent say they have a negative image of you,

691. thirty-eight percent say that image is positive.

692. Is there any good news?

693. Again, I don't like that term, but, yes.

694. Uh, the good news is that Payton's approve/disapprove

695. is right there in the same ballpark.

696. Forty-eight percent disapprove, forty-one percent approve.

697. - That still sounds bad for us. - Yes. Sort of.

698. Another way of looking at it is that Payton is vulnerable.

699. That "buttmunch" tape was an enormous drag.

700. If I were you, I'd keep hammering him on it.

701. But he dropped his running mate. Infinity isn't even on the ticket.

702. But he is. And she was his pick. Make it about his judgment.

703. Drive up his unfavorables.

704. Make it a dirty, low turnout election. Do that and you might have a shot.

705. Might have a shot.

706. Not exactly where I expected us to be one day away from election.

707. Don't start with me, okay?

708. We could have won this thing if you hadn't disappeared, Astrid.

709. We had a solid three-point lead.

710. That tape was a gift from the heavens and you squandered it.

711. You know what?

712. You are a pampered, stuck-up little phony.

713. What did you expect was gonna happen,

714. that you'd waltz back into town and they'd hand you the key to the city?

715. That is not what I expected.

716. - Modern art. - Dispassionate draftsmen.

717. - Foreign policy.

718. - Brave new weapons.

719. - Today's youth. - Joyless, guideless.

720. - Today's religion. - Hello?

721. - Preachment by popularity polls. - Speaking.

722. - Standard of living. - A TV in every room.

723. - Education. - A TV in every room.

724. I want to join the ticket.

725. Okay, let me clarify.

726. I want to quit Astrid's campaign and join yours.

727. Hmm.

728. We hear you.

729. This is just a lot for Payton to process right now,

730. but we're interested and it's a matter of how we go about it...

731. - James. - ... at this point.

732. Why?

733. Because without me, you lose, but with me, I think you win.

734. She's got a point.

735. That's not a reason.

736. - Did Astrid put you up to this? - Astrid doesn't know.

737. - Prove it. - I can't.

738. You're gonna have to trust me on this.

739. I don't appreciate or respect the way that you've chosen to run your campaign.

740. I agree. I don't like our campaign much either.

741. I need a day to think about it.

742. The election is tomorrow.

743. You need a running mate before then. I'm the obvious choice.

744. Doesn't mean you're the right choice.

745. I appreciate your time.

746. Trust me, we'll be in touch.

747. What happened?

748. I thought he'd say yes, but he says he has to think about it.

749. I'll get him to say yes, trust me.

750. It's what's best for him, it's what he wants. He doesn't know it yet.

751. What?

752. Nothing.

753. I want this more than anything.