The Politician 1x2

1. July 14th, 1972.

2. George McGovern has just won the Democratic nomination

3. for President of the United States...

4. I accept your nomination with a full and grateful heart.

5. beating Hubert Humphrey,

6. who came within shooting distance of beating Nixon for the presidency

7. four years prior

8. and Nixon's heavily favored to win reelection.

9. But, running on a platform of ending the war in Vietnam...

10. George McGovern's got a real shot. Now he just has to find a running mate.

11. He asks Ted Kennedy, who says, "No way."

12. In fact, everyone turns him down.

13. Hubert Humphrey, no.

14. Walter Mondale, "No dice."

15. Then, he asks Senator Gaylord Nelson, who's like, "No thanks.

16. But what about Thomas Eagleton?"

17. Nelson's like, "Eagleton's young, he's liberal but Catholic.

18. The unions love him, he could win you Missouri."

19. They've gotta pick someone fast, so the campaign asks Eagleton

20. if there's anything in his background that might embarrass the campaign.

21. Eagleton says, "No." So McGovern pulls the trigger.

22. Within days, rumors start circulating about Eagleton's health,

23. because Eagleton neglected to mention

24. that he'd been hospitalized three times for depression...

25. and that his treatment had twice involved ECT.

26. - What is ECT? - Electroconvulsive therapy.

27. Shock treatment.

28. Senator Eagleton says Senator McGovern is 100 percent behind him

29. in his decision to remain in the race for vice president.

30. The McGovern campaign was caught totally off-guard.

31. McGovern has to play defense.

32. He announces he was behind his running mate,

33. then three days later Eagleton resigns.

34. The Democratic ticket then goes on to lose

35. one of the most lopsided presidential contests in American history.

36. So, why are you telling me this?

37. That rhetorical or are you honestly asking?

38. My point couldn't be any clearer.

39. Beware a VP with secrets, Payton.

40. That Andrew kid says Infinity's faking. That makes her radioactive.

41. And if Andrew's right and this word gets out,

42. this campaign is over. And it won't just affect this campaign,

43. it will affect every political race we ever try to run.

44. We're only five points down.

45. This race is suddenly winnable because we picked her.

46. That would be undercut when it comes out she's making the whole thing up

47. so she can get free trips to Cedar Point with LeBron James or whatever.

48. You'll either look stupid or a liar.

49. It's too dangerous. We should cut her loose.

50. Or we wait. The campaign's a couple weeks away, let's focus on winning.

51. Then if we find out she's faking it, we go from there.

52. Let's see.

53. Oh, hello, darling.

54. I just received that shipment I was waiting for

55. from Library Lobe LaRoche in Paris.

56. Some nice titles.

57. I'm glad it always raises your mood.

58. Well, you rarely visit me in here.

59. Well, I don't like to disturb your work.

60. Oh, you judge the way I choose to lead my life.

61. My father insisted I have a profession.

62. There were options.

63. Stamps,

64. thoroughbreds,

65. the gardens.

66. You couldn't.

67. Your hay fever.

68. True, so I chose books.

69. And one day I will retire and find time to read some of them.

70. Do I seem different to you these last few months?

71. You do. You stopped pretending to enjoy it when I touch you.

72. I know I was never the man of your dreams.

73. But when you agreed to marry me,

74. I accepted that I was getting a woman

75. playing the part of a woman in love with me.

76. But recently, you've even neglected to pretend.

77. I don't want to pretend anymore.

78. I'm in love with someone else. The trainer down at our horse stables.

79. - Him?

80. Darling.

81. Brigitte is a woman.

82. How did this happen?

83. We met at the costume gala fundraiser for the zoo.

84. Is this like the others? The Brazilian ceramist?

85. The cliff diver?

86. That horrible cartoonist?

87. Because I've looked the other way before, until these fevers passed.

88. No.

89. I'm in love with her.

90. I want a divorce.

91. The Harrington Commode.

92. It was crafted by Thomas Chippendale in 1770.

93. It's a masterpiece with a tulip wood banded top,

94. simulated drawers inlaid with rosettes.

95. It was the most expensive piece of furniture ever sold at auction

96. when it was purchased for a hair under six million dollars at Sotheby's in 2010.

97. Three times the catalog price, but I had to have it.

98. I knew the perfect spot for it.

99. Hello?

100. What?

101. Oh, God, is he gonna die?

102. - Dad, can you hear me? It's me, Martin. - Shh!

103. Your father's in a medically induced coma,

104. and he has a subdural hematoma in his brain.

105. We won't know the damage until the swelling goes down.

106. Why the hell would our father jump off a roof?

107. It's my fault.

108. I asked him for a divorce.

109. This is the fourth time somebody's jumped out of a window

110. when I tried to break up with them.

111. - You're a terrible person. - Luther! Don't speak to me that way.

112. I know you're upset, but we are a family, and we have to band together now.

113. I don't want him to die.

114. Neither do I.

115. He's the only person in my life who's never been unkind to me.

116. Then why the hell would you want a divorce?

117. Because I was tired of not being surprised,

118. and I was tired of never being able to do anything wrong

119. and my boredom turned to resentment.

120. - Sorry.

121. Yeah, thanks for finally showing up.

122. Screw you, Luther. Can't you take a break for one day?

123. How about I put you in a bed right next to my father?

124. Hey, stop it.

125. - Boys! Boys!

126. Boys, you stop that right now!

127. This negative energy is not good for your father's healing.

128. - Mom, I'm gonna drop out of the race. - No.

129. Okay? I need to be here with you two as much as I can.

130. No, sweetheart, no.

131. No matter what happens to your father, your life is his legacy.

132. And you're certainly gonna have to make up for whatever hot mess they make

133. of the family name.

134. - What would you say to students

135. who think this is a waste of a perfectly good Rolls Royce?

136. Well, first of all, Jeremy,

137. this Rolls Royce was totaled six months ago

138. when some joker decided to put sand in the gas tank.

139. And I don't think you can call it a waste

140. when we are already halfway to our goal of $45,000,

141. which will go towards the hiring of a full-time harassment czar at the school.

142. And every swing of the sledgehammer gets us 250 doll—

143. dollars closer to ending sexual harassment on this campus.

144. Are you okay?

145. I'm fi— I just feel a little faint, but it's okay.

146. I just had one of my treatments, so this happens. Thanks.

147. - Thank you, Jeremy. - Bye-bye. Thanks.

148. Hey, um, treatment for what, exactly? What kind of cancer is it that you have?

149. My grandma says it's better that I don't know the specifics.

150. She thinks it'll just make it harder.

151. I see. Are you sure you don't wanna skip this event?

152. No. I don't want to skip this event.

153. I want to be here because I want to win this election.

154. People want to talk to me.

155. And this is like the first time in my life I feel like people really see me.

156. And I've wanted this for my whole life.

157. - Okay. - Okay.

158. - Get over there. - Okay.

159. - Be careful, though. - Yeah. Oh, yeah.

160. - Payton. - Where have you been?

161. Nothing, uh, nowhere. I was just crunching some poll numbers.

162. Is she all right?

163. Yeah, she said she came from a doctor's appointment or something.

164. All right, you got it, Infinity.

165. - Jesus, somebody call an ambulance!

166. - Does she have a pulse? - Yeah.

167. Is someone calling 911?

168. So, you think maybe it was the platelet transplant

169. - that made you feel a little lightheaded? - Yeah, maybe.

170. I should've just taken it easy like my nana told me.

171. This juice is tasty, though.

172. - Oh, you like that, huh? - Mm-hmm. I really do.

173. - What are you doing? - What do you think?

174. This is just about the best possible photo op you could dream of.

175. Okay, no, James, I'm not comfortable with this.

176. Okay. Don't be comfortable. I don't care.

177. You not being comfortable makes this a better photo.

178. I think I'm all out.

179. Hey, Infinity, do you mind if we take a quick photo, is that okay?

180. - Mm-hmm. - Sorry.

181. Thank you.

182. - My toes feel tingly. - Let's get this hooked up.

183. - Infinity! Infinity!

184. Infinity!

185. Is that your nana?

186. Oh, my God.

187. Ma'am?

188. - Ma'am. Ma'am, calm down. She's all right. - What the hell is going on here?

189. You just get away from her. Get away from her.

190. - Ma'am! - Who the hell are you, anyway?

191. I'm the ER nurse.

192. Infinity says she fainted.

193. We're gonna do some routine blood work

194. - while we ask you some questions— - No, you are not taking any blood

195. from this girl or doing nothing of the kind.

196. What are you doing? No. Ma'am, do not—

197. Ma'am, I'm gonna call security.

198. You go right ahead and call security.

199. - Okay, get up, get your shoes on. - Okay.

200. Get your shoes on. Where's your stuff?

201. I will not have this little girl poked and prodded.

202. She's been to the hospital once already today.

203. She spent the whole goddamn morning being poked and prodded.

204. C'mon get in the wheelchair. We're leavin'.

205. Get up, get in here.

206. Do you even know what she has? Have you talked to her doctors?

207. Huh?

208. This is her life.

209. Sometimes she faints.

210. She also has a raisin allergy.

211. Did somebody— Did you— Did somebody here give her a raisin?

212. - No, ma'am. - No.

213. Her doctors and I will handle this.

214. Here is the name and number of her full-time technician.

215. You want to try to get me arrested?

216. Well, that's just fine, but you talk to him first, okay?

217. You just talk to him first.

218. - No, we're going home.

219. You dumb-ass.

220. Let me guess, she didn't want anyone to run any tests on her, did she?

221. I told you she's faking it.

222. Is that a joint?

223. It helps with my seizures.

224. Oh. Yes, right. I heard that weed is actually—

225. You dumb-ass, I don't get seizures.

226. I have cerebral palsy and I like getting high.

227. Okay, so how do you know all this about Infinity? What makes you so sure?

228. I've been in special ed with her since first grade, you ass.

229. I've watched her every day for years.

230. Been in love with her for as long as I can remember.

231. When you watch someone that closely for that long,

232. you start to notice things, little things no one else does.

233. How she moves, how she never can give any details about what she's sick with.

234. What kind of person doesn't know what kind of cancer they have?

235. And why is she always sicker when she comes back from the hospital

236. than she was the day before?

237. Why haven't you told anyone?

238. A, I'm telling you right now, and B, I did tell people.

239. I told the special ed teacher and the assistant principal,

240. but they didn't believe me.

241. They gave me two weeks detention for bullying, which is insane.

242. So what should I do?

243. Follow the blood work.

244. Astrid and Skye are really turning people off.

245. We've outflanked them in workplace harassment,

246. an issue that should've been theirs for the taking, now they're panicking.

247. Latest tracking poll has us within the margin of error.

248. I want us to remember this moment.

249. We bounced back ten points in a week

250. because people see us getting real results.

251. While the other side is passing out fliers,

252. we raised $45,000 for a full-time faculty member.

253. We are up in the polls because we're walking the walk.

254. All right, close your laptops, turn off your phones,

255. I want to say something to the room.

256. Follow me.

257. All right, it's about Infinity.

258. Andrew told me something.

259. He has told two teachers that he thought Infinity was faking her illnesses.

260. - Balls. - What did they do about it?

261. Nothing, except go after him to shut him up.

262. Obviously there is no proof, but we don't know who's heard what.

263. No, we're not doing this. You're gonna leave this alone.

264. I'm not just gonna bury my head in the sand.

265. That's exactly what you're gonna do, and you're not gonna talk

266. to physically-challenged-or-whatever Andrew again.

267. James is right. If it is true, you need plausible deniability.

268. We just need to get through the next three weeks.

269. Who knows who this kid Andrew is or what he's after.

270. He could be a plant in Astrid's campaign to try to sabotage us.

271. - I don't— - It's real simple.

272. Just stop asking questions!

273. - Ow! Ow!

274. Well, Jesus. If you sat still, I wouldn't nick you.

275. Sorry.

276. Hello, Payton. How nice of you to come.

277. - Ooh, and flowers. That's just too much.

278. - Me and Nana have been everywhere. - Hmm.

279. - That's us at Disneyland. - Cool.

280. That is the finale of American Idol,

281. where I got to meet Randy Jackson, who is...

282. - so nice. - Oh.

283. He played bass for Journey. Can you believe it?

284. - Wow, I had no idea. - Me either.

285. - Who's that? Is that your dad?

286. No, that's Ray the technician. He works at the hospital.

287. My nana and, uh, Ray are really close.

288. He does all of my treatments,

289. and when I'm too sick to go to the hospital,

290. - he'll come to the house or wherever I am. - Mm-hmm.

291. Just, you know, so.

292. What are you doing down there, you silly goose? I—

293. So he goes on trips with you?

294. - Sometimes. Like that, right there? - Mm-hmm?

295. That's us at Busch Gardens with a camel.

296. Look at that.

297. Infinity. Come help Nana set the table.

298. Yes, Nana.

299. - Something smells great.

300. Well?

301. - Bologna cups?

302. Yay!

303. Well, now, don't you go judging us.

304. I know this isn't what you have for dinner over on your side of town.

305. Oh, no. This looks— This looks great.

306. Hey, honey, be careful.

307. It's hot as lava. You're gonna burn the roof of your mouth.

308. - Okay. - Blow on it first, okay?

309. Some mashed potatoes.

310. So how is the election going?

311. It's good, as a matter of fact.

312. - Yeah, we are within a few points... - That's good.

313. and we definitely have the momentum, so I like our chances.

314. - I'm so excited. - Yes, very exciting.

315. So what's in it for us?

316. Excuse me?

317. Well, if, uh, Infinity really goes out there

318. and gets out the vote

319. and, you know, you win the election,

320. what do we get out of it?

321. Hmm.

322. She really loves boats.

323. - Ah.

324. Specifically those Disney-themed cruises, right?

325. Yeah. They're accessible and so much fun— Hey!

326. The hell is wrong with you?

327. You don't reach over someone's plate, you ask it to be passed.

328. May I have it be passed?

329. Yes, of course you can have it passed.

330. So you're asking if I would pay for a Disney cruise?

331. Well, basically, yeah.

332. - Nana. - What?

333. - You're embarrassing me. - Oh.

334. Come on. I mean, he's a wealthy kid.

335. I'm sure his family gives away millions every year in charity, right?

336. I mean, this is like a little drop in the bucket.

337. Well, Miss Jackson, Infinity...

338. you can absolutely count on that trip if we win this election.

339. - Well, have another. - Oh, that's so nice!

340. - Did you hear that? - And another.

341. - That's wonderful. - Doubles.

342. - That's really wonderful. - Yeah.

343. - That's great. - Least I can do.

344. May I please be excused for one minute?

345. - I'm sorry, is that okay?

346. - All right, go on. - Okay, thank you.

347. Let me turn the record over.

348. - What are you doing here? - Whose car is in your driveway?

349. Shh! It's Payton. The kid who's running for school president, remember?

350. - Is he trying to get in your pants?

351. No, of course not. Gross. No. Just please be quiet.

352. - Please. - You make me so horny.

353. - I want to have sex with you right now. - I can't, we're in the middle of dinner.

354. It'll just take a second.

355. Fine! You can touch my boobs over my shirt, but don't make a mess.

356. You have three minutes.

357. One, two, three, four, five...

358. I see. So sounds like you have traveled pretty extensively throughout Florida.

359. Florida, yeah, yeah.

360. I mean, we've been to the panhandle and the Gulf Coast.

361. - Central Florida, St. Augustine. - I'm sorry, Miss Jackson,

362. but there's something that has come to my attention that I need to bring up.

363. It's... It's Infinity.

364. I've heard a rumor about her.

365. About my Infinity?

366. Yes, ma'am. Uh...

367. A boy at school told me that Infinity has been faking her illnesses,

368. presumably for monetary gain.

369. Who told you that?

370. No, no, wait, wait.

371. Let me guess.

372. I bet it was that little pissant Andrew, right?

373. Well, let me tell you something about him.

374. I caught him masturbating in front of my granddaughter.

375. Oh, I did a little bit of reporting myself.

376. I called the school about him.

377. I see. I had not heard about that.

378. How dare you come into our home and accuse my granddaughter.

379. Oh, no, ma'am, I'm not accusing her, I simply wanted to—

380. Oh, the hell you aren't.

381. You come waltzing in here with that ridiculous sweater,

382. that fancy hair.

383. You have no right to treat us like that.

384. Ma'am, I am very sorry. I shouldn't have even brought it up.

385. That's right. You shouldn't have brought it up.

386. Do you have any idea what I've been through with her?

387. I have not slept for more than 15 minutes at a stretch since she was born.

388. - Do you have any idea what that's like? - Nana?

389. Every night, I wake up in the middle of the night,

390. I go running into her room to make sure that she's still breathing,

391. that the good Lord hasn't taken her from me.

392. You don't believe me?

393. Here.

394. Here are her medical records, the last five years.

395. Go ahead, read 'em, son of a bitch. Go ahead, read 'em.

396. You're smart, you're rich, you should get through 'em pretty quickly.

397. Miss Jackson, I'm sorry I upset you. I thinkl should probably go now.

398. You're using her. You are using her for your own purposes, and shame on you.

399. You should have defended her.

400. Shame on you!

401. I'm very sorry, but I do have to go now, okay?

402. What? No, no, no, no, wait. Wait. Here, take some of these.

403. - Nana. - Take some of these.

404. Take some of these!

405. Take 'em with you.

406. You can stick 'em up all over town so the rumors will stop.

407. Take 'em, you stupid son of a bitch!

408. Thank you for coming on short notice, Mrs. Hobart.

409. Well, you made it sound awfully urgent.

410. I imagine it's something to do with Mr. Hobart being in the hospital?

411. Mr. Hobart's will is very clear that in the event he is incapacitated,

412. you, his wife, have power of attorney. However—

413. You're not his wife anymore.

414. Boys, can we have this discussion without lawyers present?

415. You told Dad you wanted a divorce before he jumped.

416. Lupe says you've been living out of the house for a month now.

417. Mom, what are they talking about?

418. It is our opinion that if the facts were brought before a judge,

419. he would find that, for legal purposes,

420. your behavior would constitute a legal separation from your husband,

421. which would initiate the clause in your prenuptial agreement

422. which states that if you were to leave Mr. Hobart for another person—

423. You get nothing, which means you get nothing either,

424. you little pasty nugget.

425. Martin, you've been awfully quiet. Is this what you want?

426. Isn't this what you want?

427. To be able to just disappear with him and never see us again?

428. Mom, don't say another word until we find counsel.

429. You get ready for the fight of your lives.

430. It's true.

431. Everything they're saying is right.

432. I am in love with someone else and I asked your father for a divorce,

433. and I agreed to that clause in the prenup.

434. It seemed fair at the time.

435. Never could I have imagined falling in love with someone else.

436. I had given up on love by the time I said yes to marrying him.

437. Mom, don't do this.

438. I love you boys.

439. I nursed you on my own breasts, one on each side.

440. No nanny. I bathed you every night.

441. I know our relationship is flawed and I'm to blame.

442. A mother should open her heart to her children,

443. not make them fight their way in, but I do care.

444. Please don't punish your little brother for my sins.

445. You're gonna have to move out, you know.

446. If you said to me right now, "Let's start fresh.

447. Let's be the men of this family together, let's carry on the name, honor our father.

448. Create a vision for the future of this great house,"

449. then I would forgive everything.

450. If I can do that, after all the tortures that you two have put me through,

451. can't you?

452. Have you ever heard of pangenesis?

453. No.

454. Hippocrates believed that there are tiny body parts

455. that moved through a person's blood into their genitals

456. and passed along to their offspring.

457. - Bloodlines. - Jesus.

458. Powerful bonds between parents and children.

459. Laws are passed to protect them.

460. That's how important the true line of descent has been to western culture.

461. Yes, and those same theories were used by eugenicists to institutionalize racism.

462. Well, you don't belong here.

463. You're not one of us and you never will be.

464. I know I'm an outsider, all right?

465. That's why I appreciate it all so much.

466. That's why I go to Mom's charity functions and...

467. visit antique stores to see if I can find some lost volume for Dad.

468. It's why I've been trying to elevate our family name by becoming president,

469. and it's why I've been by our father's bedside holding his hand

470. and praying for him.

471. - It's a little late for ass-kissing, bro.

472. Yeah, see, um, that's where you're wrong, bro.

473. Um... Dad is improving.

474. Doctor said it's a miracle.

475. He's still in a coma, but his brain waves are normalizing

476. and his feet are responsive to sharp touch.

477. So he's gonna wake up.

478. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but eventually.

479. And then, Mom and I are gonna tell him how you've acted and...

480. well, all the bloodlines in the world won't be able to save you.

481. Ray the technician's full name is Ray Callawalich.

482. He's been working at the lab at the children's hospital

483. for the last six years, which, as far as I can tell,

484. is the longest he's held down any job,

485. though he owes them his loyalty because they seem unperturbed by the fact that

486. he was arrested for wire fraud in the late 90s and never charged.

487. - Wire fraud? - It gets grosser.

488. He has all of four friends on Facebook, two are Infinity and her grandmother,

489. the other two are Legoland and Mrs. Fields Cookies.

490. And he posted eight hours ago that he's, quote,

491. "Excited," but he misspelled excited, "to go to Atlantis," misspelled Atlantis,

492. "with my dear fiend Infinity and her grandmother," end quote.

493. And he tried tagging Infinity,

494. but he ended up tagging an Infinity SUV in the background.

495. What's Atlantis?

496. Wait, are you serious?

497. Oh, of course, you're too rich.

498. It's amazing, it's like the best resort ever.

499. That is, if you like waterslides, but come on,

500. I mean, they have this waterslide that goes underwater with,

501. like, sharks and stuff.

502. Anyway, don't you think it's weird that this dimwitted lab technician would be,

503. like, best friends with a patient at his hospital?

504. You have a theory?

505. Munchausen by proxy. She's making Infinity sick.

506. Oh, come on.

507. Grandmother's on the take and co-opted a dimwitted lab technician,

508. bribing him with vacations and cruises and God knows what else

509. so she can tinker with Infinity's medical records.

510. - This seems impossible to prove. - It's totally possible to prove.

511. We host a blood drive, get a sample, test it independently.

512. Don't look at me like that. We'll make it a campaign event,

513. a statement saying that ignorance about HIV has no place in our society

514. and anyone at our school who wants to can donate blood,

515. including gays and Haitians.

516. I'll set it up, it'll be a slam dunk.

517. - There aren't any Haitians at this school. - There's one. Pierre.

518. We'll nail down the gay vote and the Haitian vote.

519. - Literally the Haitian vote. - That's right.

520. One more thing, we don't tell James why we're doing the blood drive.

521. Why not?

522. He's trigger happy about dumping Infinity. This might send him over the edge.

523. He'd probably end up firing her himself. Maybe this could be nothing.

524. Maybe this guy's just a wall-eyed creep who likes hanging out with teenagers

525. and their grandmothers at theme parks and it ends there.

526. Until we know for sure, we keep this between us, okay?

527. Okay.

528. Great. Nice meeting you.

529. I've tried to give blood in the past, but I've been told that I can't,

530. because every year my family travels to Port-au-Prince,

531. and Haiti is a malaria zone.

532. Which I think is a lie.

533. The real reason is ignorance and xenophobia and AIDS hysteria.

534. And for Payton to notice something like that,

535. I think if this is the attention to detail he'll show as president,

536. he has a shot at leading one of the most meaningful student governments

537. in the history of this school.

538. I just got your text. What's going on? What is this?

539. It's bad is what it is. Why aren't we doing stuff like this?

540. You're the candidate. I should be asking you that question.

541. Hi.

542. - Thanks, everyone. - Thank you all for coming, really.

543. I'm so excited. Okay.

544. - I'm good. - How's it going?

545. Thank you for being here. Appreciate your help.

546. Really appreciate it.

547. - Take good care of her. - Get her all hooked up and—

548. I'm gonna try not to make a scene,

549. but we might want to have a discussion outside.

550. - James, calm down. - Shut your cake hole, McAfee.

551. James!

552. You organized this whole thing behind my back, didn't you?

553. That is a profound breach of our relationship.

554. Payton, do not do this. This is something you do not want to know.

555. Whatever is going on with her, this hinges on you not knowing about it.

556. This Pet Band audition must be really stressing you out.

557. - Screw you. - Screw you.

558. We are gonna get a sample of her blood, send it to a lab,

559. and measure her blood proteins, run a CBC and a tumor marker test.

560. If she has cancer, one of the tests will flag it.

561. Payton, I'm telling you, if she's faking, it's gonna get out.

562. The only people that will see the results are the three of us,

563. and I trust both of you 100 percent.

564. I need to know, James.

565. Nurses at the hospital say that I've got great veins.

566. I'm like, "Yeah, maybe it's because you guys poke me so much."

567. Thank you for encouraging me to keep playing the piano.

568. Music gives us permission to feel.

569. You need that more than most.

570. I like what you're doing with your campaign.

571. It's very positive.

572. It's important that it stays that way. People need something to believe in.

573. I think the positivity may just be a means to an end.

574. I don't know yet if I'm a good person.

575. You don't have to be a good person as long as you do good things.

576. I miss you.

577. Mr. Payton?

578. There are two gentlemen here to see you.

579. I put them in the patio with snacks and mineral water.

580. I've been accepted.

581. - Enjoy the moment, Payton.

582. Um, I— I will. I am. I am. I need to call my mother.

583. I'm sorry, I don't understand. How did I get off of the waitlist?

584. Have people that got in, they dropped out? Or...?

585. No.

586. Are you familiar with the Slavic languages department?

587. Our research has determined that Slavic languages,

588. Russian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, for example,

589. are going to be an area of value for our graduates in the near future.

590. And that is where you come in.

591. An extended department is not an inexpensive undertaking.

592. We need to hire staff, create new software,

593. curriculum, uh, build a new facility.

594. I see.

595. So, you would like me to pay for that as my price of admission?

596. Well, your family.

597. We assume they're still in charge of all funds.

598. They've been extremely generous in the past.

599. Your brothers were not nearly the applicants you are.

600. Gentlemen, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I need to be accepted on my merits.

601. This is not the first time this sort of thing's been done.

602. No, I know. Right? Everyone knows.

603. When you arrive on campus with the same last name as one of the buildings,

604. people can do the math.

605. Well, if the notoriety is a problem, we can make the donation anonymous.

606. No, that only works if you live a life without distinction.

607. I'm going to be running for president.

608. This will be weaponized against me.

609. Payton Hobart wasn't good enough then, and he's not good enough now.

610. You have a week to reconsider.

611. You're not the only applicant on the waitlist with money.

612. Just the one with the most of it.

613. Are these just, uh, just cashews?

614. - Just cashews. - Oh.

615. I'm allergic to tree nuts, so.

616. - Shouldn't we be in disguise? - Oh, my God. We're supposed to be seen.

617. If we snuck in in disguise, they'd suspect that we murdered him.

618. But I thought we were murdering him.

619. God. We are murdering him. What is wrong with you?

620. I'm sorry, I've never committed patricide before.

621. Hi.

622. What do you feel?

623. About him?

624. Yes. What do you feel about our father?

625. Do you love him?

626. I mean, I always cared that he loved me.

627. Is that the same thing?

628. I love him.

629. I don't respect him, though. He's weak.

630. Who's gonna hold the pillow?

631. I will. I don't mind.

632. Thanks.

633. I'm suddenly feeling weird about this, though.

634. You know, killing our own father.

635. Stop.

636. This is our only chance. Our only opportunity to have everything.

637. If he wakes up, Mom and Payton are gonna ruin it all for us.

638. Did you listen to the Menendez Brothers' 911 tapes like I asked you to?

639. - Yeah. - Okay.

640. So when we get the nurse to let her know Dad isn't breathing,

641. you cannot act too hysterical—

642. Why do you think you have to boss me around like I don't know what I'm doing?

643. I'm your older brother.

644. By 47 seconds.

645. Sorry if I want everything to go perfectly, okay?

646. Okay, you're acting like I don't.

647. You're not a very detail-oriented person. It's just a fact.

648. I guess I would appreciate it if you were a little gentler when giving me advice.

649. Okay.

650. I'm sorry.

651. Hello, boys.

652. Is there a new chef?

653. I don't think so.

654. Because these sprouts are more savory than usual.

655. I wonder if that blow to my head has affected my taste buds.

656. The doctors say there shouldn't be any long-term adverse effects,

657. aside from a possible slight limp.

658. Well, I find that limps give a man a certain distinction and worldliness.

659. Totally. They're super sexy.

660. Mmm.

661. I misjudged Payton.

662. It was shocking to wake up from my coma and to see him there at my bedside.

663. He was reading verses from chapter three of Remembrance of Things Past.

664. " What special pleasure—"

665. In that moment, when all I could feel was gratitude

666. for the gift that is life,

667. I saw him sitting there alone performing this simple, loving gesture,

668. and I knew I had been wrong about him all this time.

669. He tried telling me about how Martin and Luther had behaved

670. during my coma, but I didn't believe him.

671. - How could I? My own sons?

672. - So he hatched a plan to prove it to me. - No!

673. He laid the trap with the boys.

674. The hopes of my recovery would be the bait.

675. He's weak.

676. I was awake the entire time they were in my room...

677. - Who's gonna hold the pillow? - ... coldly discussing murdering me.

678. I will. Do not mind.

679. It broke my heart.

680. You're upset.

681. My goodness.

682. Well, of course you would be. Our sons tried to murder me.

683. Honestly, that's not what's bumming me out.

684. Patricide is so on-brand for the twins.

685. I don't think they would've been able to go through with it.

686. Martin certainly wouldn't have been able to.

687. Mmm.

688. It's Payton.

689. That kind of duplicity.

690. It's a terrible quality in a man.

691. Payton saved me, and I'm gonna make sure he's repaid.

692. But I have conditions.

693. - You will have to end it with Brigitte. - No.

694. I couldn't stand having someone else have something over me

695. when it comes to you.

696. What about Payton? I love him.

697. I know, which is why I know that the only way I will ever get you

698. to go back to pretending with me is to assure you that if you do,

699. I will do everything in my power to make all of Payton's dreams come true.

700. Darling.

701. Oh!

702. You're back.

703. We— We've come up with a plan for making amends.

704. One hundred hours of community service.

705. - Sir—

706. I've made my decision.

707. I'm leaving everything to Payton and your mother.

708. You two are out.

709. I'm gonna kill you.

710. - Oh!

711. All right.

712. I have informed Harvard

713. that I will no longer be paying your tuition.

714. If you want to remain there, I'm sure there is a work-study program.

715. Are you saying that we're not getting anything?

716. No. I've decided to give you one thing of my own.

717. The Harrington Commode.

718. It only gives me bad memories now.

719. We have to pay taxes on the value of it.

720. You're sending us off into debt.

721. I know.

722. Congratulations, son.

723. You are the heir to my fortune and my heart.

724. Are you fucking serious?

725. I'm as sad about this as you are.

726. You've ruined love for me.

727. I know.

728. Gotta stop doing that to people.

729. Brigitte, don't throw yourself out a window.

730. If you want to ride away with her, you know I'll support you.

731. I made a promise. I'm going to keep it.

732. Your ambition frightens me.

733. Where have you been? You're late.

734. What are you talking about? You said 4:00 p.m. I'm right on time.

735. You're always ten minutes early, which means, for you,

736. right on time is late.

737. Well, sorry I had to pee.

738. I'll look into a catheter so this long national nightmare

739. of my occasional need to urinate can finally be over.

740. You have the results?

741. All right. Can I just say something?

742. Even though you're going to ignore me despite knowing I'm right,

743. because I've suddenly become the villain and the object of your suspicion,

744. as if I had anything in mind other than what is right for this campaign

745. and what will win us this race...

746. can we please consider not opening that?

747. If we open that, there's no going back.

748. Everything changes, forever.

749. Open it.

750. Her levels are 100 percent normal.

751. - Jesus.

752. Infinity doesn't have a single cancer cell in her body.

753. So, just gonna ask the obvious question:

754. what are you gonna do now?