1. - Cute and cuddly, boys.Copy !req
2. - Skipper's log.
Today, testing beginsCopy !req
3. on Kowalski's latest invention.Copy !req
4. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
5. - I am proud to introduceCopy !req
6. the next phase
of penguin combat,Copy !req
7. the nexto-skeleton!Copy !req
8. Good name, right?
I was up all night.Copy !req
9. - Eh.Copy !req
10. - Test one, missile launch.Copy !req
11. Aah!Copy !req
12. - After months
of intensive researchCopy !req
13. and re-engineering,Copy !req
14. Kowalski's nexto-skeletonCopy !req
15. is ready for its second
field test.Copy !req
16. - Strength test
on my mark.Copy !req
17. Mark!Copy !req
18. Yes, it works! It totally—Copy !req
19. - I-I think it's too c-cold
for the c-camera.Copy !req
20. - Third test of the—Copy !req
21. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
22. - Ready for
the test, Skipper?Copy !req
23. - Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right.Copy !req
24. Well, knock yourself out,
Kowalski.Copy !req
25. - Don't you wanna record it
for posterity?Copy !req
26. - What? Oh, no, I'm good.Copy !req
27. Keepin' it all upstairs.Copy !req
28. - Commencing test four.Copy !req
29. Yes! It's working!Copy !req
30. It's working!Copy !req
31. Finally, after all this time,
the nexto-skeleton is—Copy !req
32. aah!Copy !req
33. - Oh, it's ghastly,
harrowing, horrific.Copy !req
34. - Nah, he's had worse.Copy !req
35. Walk it off, Kowalski.Copy !req
36. - Aye, Skipper.Copy !req
37. - No, not Kowalski. That!Copy !req
38. - That's you!Copy !req
39. - Who would do this?
I'm universally beloved.Copy !req
40. That's my thing.
Who could possibly not like me?Copy !req
41. - Oh, ask them.Copy !req
42. - Agh!Copy !req
43. Um, pardon me,
but why are you makingCopy !req
44. unflattering pictures of me?Copy !req
45. - You really think
it's possibleCopy !req
46. to make a flattering picture
of you?Copy !req
47. When's the last time
you looked in the mirror?Copy !req
48. I mean without breaking it.Copy !req
49. - What?
- Am I being too subtle?Copy !req
50. I'm saying you're ugly—Copy !req
51. stupid and ugly.Copy !req
52. You're not the first
to mix the two,Copy !req
53. but you're the stupidest
and ugliest.Copy !req
54. - What did I
ever do to you?Copy !req
55. - That Tuesday, last spring,
in the park—Copy !req
56. you stepped on me!Copy !req
57. - I did? I don't remember that.Copy !req
58. - Why am I not surprised?Copy !req
59. Why would
a power player like youCopy !req
60. worry about the little guy?Copy !req
61. - Power—I didn't mean—
it's just—Copy !req
62. are you sure it was me?Copy !req
63. - How many penguins
are there in Manhattan?Copy !req
64. Yes, I'm sure it was you.Copy !req
65. And ever since then,Copy !req
66. I've been racing to this zoo
to teach you a lesson.Copy !req
67. - Racing?
- I'm a snail.Copy !req
68. Do the math, bigfoot.Copy !req
69. Now get ready
for a beat-down in midtown!Copy !req
70. Could you take
a step or two closer to me?Copy !req
71. It'll really save time.Copy !req
72. - You got your first archenemy!
Great news!Copy !req
73. What's his name?
- Dale. He's a snail.Copy !req
74. - Oh. Well, it's a start.Copy !req
75. It's not the size
of the foe, but, uh...Copy !req
76. help me out here, Kowalski.Copy !req
77. - Uh, perhaps you'll soon
be the enemy of a tigerCopy !req
78. or a shark.
- Ooh!Copy !req
79. Maybe even a tiger shark.Copy !req
80. - But I don't want to be
anybody's archenemy.Copy !req
81. I'm nice!Copy !req
82. There's got to be a way
to set things right with Dale.Copy !req
83. Perhaps if I bring him
a thoughtful, little gift.Copy !req
84. - Oh, Private,
you're doing it wrong.Copy !req
85. You don't make peace
with your arch!Copy !req
86. Come on!
- Yeah, come—oh!Copy !req
87. I have some lovely,
delicious lettuce for you.Copy !req
88. Hmm, maybe I should
just wait here for him.Copy !req
89. - Aah!Copy !req
90. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
91. - Is somebody popping popcorn?
I—oh.Copy !req
92. There, good as new... ish.Copy !req
93. - Thank you, Marlene.Copy !req
94. It's nice to know that
not all zoo animalsCopy !req
95. are rage-a-pathic goons.Copy !req
96. Yes, Private, I was obliquely
referring to you, goon!Copy !req
97. - Oh, please,
it was an accident.Copy !req
98. - Dale, I've known Private
a long time.Copy !req
99. He's a sweetie.Copy !req
100. He wouldn't
intentionally harm a fly.Copy !req
101. - Well, I'm not a fly.Copy !req
102. And he's done it twice!Copy !req
103. - Twice? Really? Huh.Copy !req
104. - Look, Dale, would it helpCopy !req
105. if I said I'm sorry?
- No.Copy !req
106. - Would it help if I said
I'm very sorry?Copy !req
107. - Let me think. No!Copy !req
108. - Would it help if I said
I'm very, very, very, very—Copy !req
109. - Very, very—no!Copy !req
110. - How about this?
If I said I was sorryCopy !req
111. in front of all my friends
and everyone I know,Copy !req
112. would that satisfy you?
- Hmm.Copy !req
113. There might be something there.Copy !req
114. - Okay.Copy !req
115. Dale, this is everyone.Copy !req
116. - All right, get on with it!Copy !req
117. And, hey, uh,
anything you can do to,Copy !req
118. you know, make me look good
for the ladies.Copy !req
119. - You got it, mate.
Listen, everyone!Copy !req
120. I recently met someone,
someone very handsome.Copy !req
121. And I hurt him—
accidentally, but badly,Copy !req
122. so here's a message I want
each and every one of youCopy !req
123. to see, hear, and, yes, feel.
Dale—Copy !req
124. - Aah!Copy !req
125. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
126. - Poor form, Private.Copy !req
127. You grapple
with an arch for yearsCopy !req
128. before you
outright humiliate him.Copy !req
129. - Again, if there's any way
I can make it up to you...Copy !req
130. - Why not sauté me
in butter and garlic?Copy !req
131. Get it over with.Copy !req
132. - Private, don't get mad
or anything,Copy !req
133. but I think it best
if you leave.Copy !req
134. - Yeah, escar-go!Copy !req
135. - We don't want no trouble.Copy !req
136. - Yeah, no trouble,
no trouble.Copy !req
137. - Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
138. Why is everyone thinking
you are a scary monster?Copy !req
139. - Because I accidentally
stepped on a snail.Copy !req
140. - So? Accidents happen.Copy !req
141. - Then I sat on him.Copy !req
142. - Oh, okay, well, you know,Copy !req
143. sometimes they happen twice.
Sheesh.Copy !req
144. - Then I stepped
on him again!Copy !req
145. - What is wrong with you?
You monster!Copy !req
146. I don't even kick Mort
three times!Copy !req
147. You know, my feet get tired.Copy !req
148. But you, man, you got
the managing-anger problem!Copy !req
149. - It was all an accident,
honest!Copy !req
150. But nobody sees it that way!Copy !req
151. - Ah, this I can help with.Copy !req
152. As king,
I know the ins and downsCopy !req
153. and ups and outs
of the public images.Copy !req
154. - Really? You could help me?Copy !req
155. - Just leave everything to me.Copy !req
156. Soon, everybody,
even this crush-ed snail,Copy !req
157. will know the real you.Copy !req
158. - Aah! Gentle!Copy !req
159. - Sorry. Sorry, Dale.
Sorry.Copy !req
160. Hey, you guys have any
bandages? I'm all out.Copy !req
161. - Help yourself, Marlene.
- Thanks.Copy !req
162. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!
You're taking me down there,Copy !req
163. into the lair of the beast?Copy !req
164. - You're safe.
"The beast" is out moping.Copy !req
165. - Oh. Okay, then.Copy !req
166. - Exposing our lair
to Private's archenemy,Copy !req
167. is that a good idea, Skipper?Copy !req
168. - Private's arch is a snail.Copy !req
169. - Yeah, good point.Copy !req
170. - I know, it's cute.Copy !req
171. - Okay, give me a minute.Copy !req
172. They're down here somewhere.Copy !req
173. - Hmm, hello.Copy !req
174. - Whoa!Copy !req
175. Kowalski, is your
nexto-skeleton testing itself?Copy !req
176. - No, it wasn't scheduled
to become self-awareCopy !req
177. for another week.Copy !req
178. - Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
179. give a warm welcome
to the monarch with the most,Copy !req
180. the King of cool,Copy !req
181. the sovereign of soul,Copy !req
182. King Julien!Copy !req
183. - Thank you, Maurice,
for that lovelyCopy !req
184. but unnecessary introductionCopy !req
185. because everyone
already knows and loves me.Copy !req
186. Now, as much as you would
all like me to talk about me,Copy !req
187. I would like to talk about
a certain special someoneCopy !req
188. who is not me.Copy !req
189. There seems to be some
mis-conniptions about Private.Copy !req
190. He—he's not a mean guy.Copy !req
191. He's not a crazy guy.Copy !req
192. He's not a guy who eats
the small woodland creatures.Copy !req
193. The truth is,Copy !req
194. he's the meanest, craziest guyCopy !req
195. who eats
the large woodland creatures!Copy !req
196. - What?Copy !req
197. - Just look at
the way he treatsCopy !req
198. the harmless little slime guys.Copy !req
199. What do you think
he will do to you?Copy !req
200. Won't be pretty,
I tell you that!Copy !req
201. - No!
- You see?Copy !req
202. There's no telling
what this psycho nut will do!Copy !req
203. - He's loose!
Run for your lives!Copy !req
204. - Please, no!
Listen to me, I beg you!Copy !req
205. I'm not a bad guy.Copy !req
206. It's all been
one horrible misunderstanding.Copy !req
207. - I was gonna say
something clever here,Copy !req
208. but, really,
that's not who I am.Copy !req
209. All I wanna do is smush you.Copy !req
210. - Aah!Copy !req
211. - At ease, soldier,
your backup is here!Copy !req
212. - Look! The nexto-skeleton,
it's working! It's—Copy !req
213. - Sorry! I was aiming
for jerky stompy feet!Copy !req
214. I'm still getting
the hang of this.Copy !req
215. - Good-bye!Copy !req
216. - One mistake, little Dale.Copy !req
217. We are like
the three musketeers,Copy !req
218. except there are four of us,Copy !req
219. and we're birds,Copy !req
220. and in no way French,Copy !req
221. but the same
team mentality applies.Copy !req
222. - Couldn't care less.Copy !req
223. - Aah!Copy !req
224. - Rico, increase
his sodium intake!Copy !req
225. Back off, gastropod.Copy !req
226. I've got a salt shaker,
and I'm not afraid to—Copy !req
227. - Oh, dear! Oh, dear!Copy !req
228. Aah!Copy !req
229. - Look, I know it's obvious.Copy !req
230. But I wanna underline
the poetic justice here anyway.Copy !req
231. I'm going to step on youCopy !req
232. just like you stepped on me,Copy !req
233. wearing your
very own robo-clothes!Copy !req
234. - Gah! I suppose that's fairCopy !req
235. after how I've wronged you so,Copy !req
236. but just so you know,
that's not my suit.Copy !req
237. - It's not?
- No, it's Kowalski's.Copy !req
238. - Wait a second.Copy !req
239. Aren't you
the science-guy penguin?Copy !req
240. - No, I'm the
adorable-nice-guy-Copy !req
241. with-a-heart-of-gold" penguin.
Boosh!Copy !req
242. - So who stepped on me
last spring?Copy !req
243. - I am proud to introduceCopy !req
244. the next phase
of penguin combat—Copy !req
245. the nexto-skeleton!Copy !req
246. How about that?Copy !req
247. - You see? This whole thing'sCopy !req
248. just been
one big misunderstanding.Copy !req
249. - Uh, I don't know
what to say, Private.Copy !req
250. - Just say we'll be friendsCopy !req
251. and we'll forget all about it.Copy !req
252. - I'll do more that that.Copy !req
253. I'll set the record straight.Copy !req
254. I'll tell everyone that you
really are a stand-up guy.Copy !req
255. - Thanks, Dale.Copy !req
256. - Just as soon as I stompCopy !req
257. this Kowalski jerk
into the ground!Copy !req
258. Dance, penguin, dance!
- Aah!Copy !req
259. - Aah!
Maurice, Mort, come quickly!Copy !req
260. This creaky tiki throne
has viciously attackedCopy !req
261. my magnificent royal booty
with this stabbiness!Copy !req
262. - It's just a splinter.Copy !req
263. - A teeny-tiny-teeny splinter.Copy !req
264. - It is attempted "booticide!"Copy !req
265. Spread the word.Copy !req
266. Your king is needing
a brand-new throne!Copy !req
267. - Whoa!
- Aah!Copy !req
268. - 678,433...Copy !req
269. 678,434...Copy !req
270. and 678,435 grains of saltCopy !req
271. in the mess hall salt shaker.Copy !req
272. Kowalski, make a note of that
for inventory.Copy !req
273. How's that pepper count coming?Copy !req
274. - Ah, ah, ah,
ah-choo!Copy !req
275. - You done?
- Um, uh-huh.Copy !req
276. - Kowalski, that can't be
what I think it is.Copy !req
277. Can it?
- I'm afraid so, Skipper.Copy !req
278. It's S.T.A.N.K.Copy !req
279. STANK!
- After all these years...Copy !req
280. I tried so hard to forget.Copy !req
281. - Right. So what's a STANK?Copy !req
282. - Project Super ToxicCopy !req
283. Aromatically Noxious
Ka-boom-boom.Copy !req
284. It was—it was a horrible—Copy !req
285. - Acronym?
- A stink bomb, Private.Copy !req
286. - The acronym's
not very good either.Copy !req
287. - But not just
any stink bomb.Copy !req
288. The grandmama stink bomb
to end all stink bombs.Copy !req
289. It was designed
to lock on to a targetCopy !req
290. and hold it there until
the odor core detonated.Copy !req
291. - Private, the putrid perfume
of project STANKCopy !req
292. is a bazillion times worseCopy !req
293. than anything
you've ever smelled.Copy !req
294. - Bazillion isn't
a real number, Skipper.Copy !req
295. - Is too.Copy !req
296. The International Numbers
Council just declared it.Copy !req
297. - And that
is not a real council.Copy !req
298. - Is too!Copy !req
299. The International
Councils CouncilCopy !req
300. just declared it, just now.Copy !req
301. - So who was STANK
supposed to lureCopy !req
302. into its foul seat?Copy !req
303. - Dr. Blowhole.Copy !req
304. - And that's where
the whole project went wrong.Copy !req
305. Turns out dolphins
don't use toilets.Copy !req
306. - Nope.
- Not when they've gotCopy !req
307. the seven seas to soil.
- What? Really?Copy !req
308. - Oh, yeah,
all the sea creatures do it—Copy !req
309. fish, whales,
lobsters, octopuses.Copy !req
310. - Ugh, I'm never swimming
in the ocean again.Copy !req
311. - Anyhoo, STANK was a bust.Copy !req
312. Total waste
of a perfectly good toilet.Copy !req
313. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
314. - Kowalski,
is this thing still active?Copy !req
315. - Apparently,
but we should be safeCopy !req
316. as long as we don't disturb
its fragile core...Copy !req
317. - Phew!Copy !req
318. - By doing things like...
breathing.Copy !req
319. - Man, we've gotta get
this STANK out of here, ASAP!Copy !req
320. - But where do
we take it, Skipper?Copy !req
321. - Somewhere uncivilized,
uninhabitable,Copy !req
322. a wasteland of inhuman misery.Copy !req
323. - Garden State Parkway
rest stop?Copy !req
324. - Right-o. They'll never
notice the difference.Copy !req
325. - Ah.Copy !req
326. - Gently, Rico.Copy !req
327. The tiniest movement could
initiate the detonation timer.Copy !req
328. We have to be
very, very, very careful.Copy !req
329. - Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
330. Eh, ah, aah!Copy !req
331. - Aah!Copy !req
332. - Oopsy.Copy !req
333. - No. No. No!Copy !req
334. My new royal throne
must be somethingCopy !req
335. that really wows
my breath away.Copy !req
336. I'm looking for something big,
something shiny.Copy !req
337. Ah!Copy !req
338. Something with
cool blinking lightsCopy !req
339. along the side like that!Copy !req
340. My throne! Where is it taking
my new royal throne?Copy !req
341. - We got ourselves a convoy.Copy !req
342. This is Big Box Shaker
in the Wiggle Wagon,Copy !req
343. sending out a 10-32
to Puking Boots.Copy !req
344. You got your ears on,
good buddy?Copy !req
345. - Uh...Copy !req
346. - Just reminding you
to keep your flaps down,Copy !req
347. use the Jake,
and back off the hammer.Copy !req
348. - Say what?Copy !req
349. - Just a little trucker lingo,
Rico.Copy !req
350. I'm telling you to go slow.
- Oh, got ya!Copy !req
351. - Cranky Cranium, how's it
back on the skateboard?Copy !req
352. You throwin' some rope
on that fat load?Copy !req
353. - I beg your pardon?Copy !req
354. - Ugh. Trucker lingo.Copy !req
355. You secure the STANK?Copy !req
356. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
357. If we keep the speed down
and stay on flat terrain,Copy !req
358. this will definitely,
probably, maybe work.Copy !req
359. - 10-4, good buddy.Copy !req
360. Simpering Soft Foot,
you my bear in the air?Copy !req
361. - Sorry, am I
Simpering Soft Foot?Copy !req
362. - Aw, come on! Nobody speaks
big rig?Copy !req
363. - Sorry!
- I find it impenetrable.Copy !req
364. - Fine.Copy !req
365. Private, where are you?Copy !req
366. - I'm coming up
on your position now, Skipper!Copy !req
367. There's light traffic
on the bridges and toll roads.Copy !req
368. Oh, and there's a yellow cab
pulling up next to you!Copy !req
369. - It's midtown Manhattan,
Private.Copy !req
370. Yellow cabs are
like cowboys at a rodeo.Copy !req
371. They're everywhere.Copy !req
372. - Yee-haw!
- Oof!Copy !req
373. Oof!Copy !req
374. Ringtail, no!Copy !req
375. - Aah!Copy !req
376. - Rico, stay with him.Copy !req
377. Ringtail,
I know you can hear me.Copy !req
378. And even though
it's never worked before,Copy !req
379. I'm gonna try
and reason with you.Copy !req
380. - Ha, good luck with that.Copy !req
381. - Stop that truck!Copy !req
382. You have no idea
what noxious havocCopy !req
383. that cargo is capable of!Copy !req
384. - Ah, but I do.Copy !req
385. This cargo
is capable of becomingCopy !req
386. my most awesome
new royal throne!Copy !req
387. - Private, I need a lift.Copy !req
388. - On my way, Skipper.Copy !req
389. - Hiyah! Unh!Copy !req
390. - Yah!
- Aah!Copy !req
391. - You are too late!Copy !req
392. I hereby proclaim
this super-boss blinky throne!Copy !req
393. No!Copy !req
394. No!Copy !req
395. - Ahh,Copy !req
396. booty-full.Copy !req
397. See? My booty was destined
for this throne.Copy !req
398. Even the throne knows it.Copy !req
399. - What exactly
is King Julien sitting on?Copy !req
400. - And can't get up from?Copy !req
401. - Ringtail, let us deal
with this situation.Copy !req
402. - Yes, deal with it!Copy !req
403. - It's impossible to stop.Copy !req
404. The core
is going full meltdown!Copy !req
405. - Fine.Copy !req
406. Just get the king up
and off of that thing!Copy !req
407. - Well, I'd have to short out
the locking circuitCopy !req
408. without triggering
the smell-a-tonium!Copy !req
409. - Private, airlift Kowalski
and Maurice back to H.Q.Copy !req
410. You two find a way
to get Ringtail off the STANK!Copy !req
411. The rest of us will press on,Copy !req
412. and hope fate smiles
on the foolish.Copy !req
413. - Then I will be
the most foolish of all.Copy !req
414. Doomed! I'm so doomed!Copy !req
415. - Crying never
solved anything.Copy !req
416. So stop with the tears.Copy !req
417. - You're not the one
with a doomsday stink bombCopy !req
418. strapped to your booty!Copy !req
419. - Can I drive?
- No!Copy !req
420. - Can I drive now?
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
421. - How about now?
- No!Copy !req
422. Uh...
- I drive!Copy !req
423. Okay, that's enough
driving for me.Copy !req
424. Your turn.Copy !req
425. - We got lucky, Ringtail,
real lucky.Copy !req
426. - These locking mechanisms
are identical to the onesCopy !req
427. strapped onto King Julien's
posterior regions.Copy !req
428. - So if we can find
the right liquid solutionCopy !req
429. to short out the circuit,
we can free him!Copy !req
430. - Let's get started.Copy !req
431. - Unh!
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
432. Why?Copy !req
433. - Agh!Copy !req
434. - Blagh!Copy !req
435. - Good work, Rico!Copy !req
436. Look, Ringtail,
sweet, sweet Jersey!Copy !req
437. Now we just need some answers
from the geniuses in the lab.Copy !req
438. - It's not gonna work!
It's not gonna work!Copy !req
439. - How are we supposed to—
hey!Copy !req
440. - This is kind of awkward,
isn't it?Copy !req
441. - Hey, look, it worked!
- What worked?Copy !req
442. I'm using the same solution,
and nothing is happening!Copy !req
443. - Kowalski, tell me
you've got good news.Copy !req
444. - Well, something
must have been different,Copy !req
445. because I'm standing over here,
and you're standing over there.Copy !req
446. - What could possibly
be different?Copy !req
447. Unless, it's 678,435 grainsCopy !req
448. of recently spilled salt!Copy !req
449. Skipper, the answer
is sodium chloride!Copy !req
450. - Hey, know how you
don't speak trucker?Copy !req
451. Well, I don't speak nerd-ese!Copy !req
452. - Salt.
You need common table saltCopy !req
453. to short out the lock,
good buddy.Copy !req
454. - Kowalski,
we're in a city dump,Copy !req
455. not restaurant row.
- Salt water would work,Copy !req
456. but they'd never get
to the shore in time.Copy !req
457. Ooh, wait! Saline!Copy !req
458. Do either of you
wear contact lenses?Copy !req
459. - I got it!
Tears are salty!Copy !req
460. Cry onto the lock!Copy !req
461. Cry like you're gonna die,Copy !req
462. 'cause if you don't,
you might.Copy !req
463. - You heard him, Ringtail.
Make with the waterworks.Copy !req
464. - What? Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'll try.Copy !req
465. - You'll try?Copy !req
466. You've been crying nonstop
for the last hour!Copy !req
467. Now, come on,
squeeze out a couple of tears!Copy !req
468. - Let me give it—Copy !req
469. uh...Copy !req
470. eeh...Copy !req
471. unh...Copy !req
472. I can't do it!Copy !req
473. I can't just fake it!Copy !req
474. It needs to be real,
from the inside.Copy !req
475. - Well, uh,
think of sentimental things,Copy !req
476. good times you had
with dear friends.Copy !req
477. - What friends?Copy !req
478. You?
- Yes, okay, sure.Copy !req
479. If that works for you,
uh, think of us together.Copy !req
480. - MacArthur's starched
short pants,Copy !req
481. I can't believe how much time
I've wasted with you.Copy !req
482. - Ha ha! I am free!Copy !req
483. I am free
from my throne of STANK!Copy !req
484. - We'll never leave
the stench radius in time!Copy !req
485. - Oh, yes, we will!Copy !req
486. - My calculations show that
STANK might actually improveCopy !req
487. the air quality
over New Jersey.Copy !req
488. - I am just glad you
broke downCopy !req
489. and cried girly tearsCopy !req
490. at the thought
of never seeing me again.Copy !req
491. - Now, hold on a minute,
Ringtail.Copy !req
492. It was one very small,
very manly tear.Copy !req
493. - Big blubbery baby!Copy !req
494. Waa-haa-haa-haa!
- Ugh!Copy !req