1. - It looked a lot more exciting
on the box.Copy !req
2. - It always does, Kowalski.Copy !req
3. All right, now,
summer vacation status report.Copy !req
4. - Cargo loaded, Skipper.Copy !req
5. We're set
for a full week's fishingCopy !req
6. off the Massachusetts coast.Copy !req
7. - Outstanding.Copy !req
8. I'm dying to tango
with their mysterious cape cod.Copy !req
9. Hah!Copy !req
10. Rock and roll!Copy !req
11. - Let's float this bucket.Copy !req
12. Kowalski, how's our cover?Copy !req
13. - Classic smiling and waving
with a holographic twist.Copy !req
14. - Hi!Copy !req
15. Hi!Copy !req
16. Hello!Copy !req
17. Yes, it is still me
waving to you.Copy !req
18. My arm is getting heavy.Copy !req
19. - Three hours of smooth sailing
to Nantucket Sound, Skipper.Copy !req
20. Take it in, boys.Copy !req
21. That's the salty air
of sweet freedom.Copy !req
22. There are no rules
on the open water.Copy !req
23. - Oh, yeah?Copy !req
24. Checkmate.Copy !req
25. - Skipper?Copy !req
26. - Open water, Private.Copy !req
27. You know, legally,
he could sell you to piratesCopy !req
28. for whale oil
and a barrel of nutmeg.Copy !req
29. - No. I mean, Skipper...Copy !req
30. - Egad!Copy !req
31. The weather
started getting rough.Copy !req
32. - Our tiny ship will be tossed!Copy !req
33. - Hold fast!Copy !req
34. It's barely
a three-hour tour from here.Copy !req
35. A three-hour tour!Copy !req
36. - Ahh!Copy !req
37. - Hoist the mainsail.Copy !req
38. - Or is it cut the mainsail?
Let's see...Copy !req
39. "when the weather's turning
moist, always cut, never hoist."Copy !req
40. - Uh...Copy !req
41. - Ahh!Copy !req
42. - Bah!Copy !req
43. Ah!Copy !req
44. Aw, come on.Copy !req
45. - There, you see?Copy !req
46. The sun always comes out to—Copy !req
47. - Ow!
- Uh...Copy !req
48. - Holy cow. You see that?Copy !req
49. Penguins falling out of the sky
over here.Copy !req
50. - Oh, well, boys,Copy !req
51. looks like we're starting this
vacation back from square one.Copy !req
52. - Oh, they look pretty rough.Copy !req
53. Somebody ought to get them
back to the zoo.Copy !req
54. - What, are you crazy?Copy !req
55. I ain't driving all the way
to Manhattan.Copy !req
56. - Who said anything
about Manhattan?Copy !req
57. We got a zoo
right here in Hoboken.Copy !req
58. - Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
59. No!Copy !req
60. - Hola.Copy !req
61. Aloha.Copy !req
62. Konnichiwa.Copy !req
63. - Oh, too lazy?Copy !req
64. How dare you bow down
at something that is not me?Copy !req
65. - The penguins...Copy !req
66. Oh, the penguins?Copy !req
67. Well, floppity, floppity,
fa-fa-fa!Copy !req
68. What is so special about—Copy !req
69. Oh, hello!Copy !req
70. Howdy!Copy !req
71. Uh, yes, it is still me
waving to you...Copy !req
72. with both hands.Copy !req
73. - Uh, your majesty?Copy !req
74. Something unspeakableCopy !req
75. must have become
of the penguins.Copy !req
76. Ooh... squatter party!Copy !req
77. - Yee-haw!Copy !req
78. I'm a bazooka cowboy!Copy !req
79. - Hey, I'm just saying,
you don't have to be lonely.Copy !req
80. Hoboken... the New Jersey
nightmare comes true at last.Copy !req
81. - Remember, boys,
penguins go down fighting,Copy !req
82. even if we lose one of our own.Copy !req
83. I'm betting Private.Copy !req
84. - Me too.Copy !req
85. - Ah!Copy !req
86. - I'm scared, Skipper.Copy !req
87. - Use that fear, Private.Copy !req
88. Choke it down.Copy !req
89. Make it a tiny hate ball
in your gut.Copy !req
90. Now show me your war face!Copy !req
91. - Hoboken!Copy !req
92. - Huh?
- Eh?Copy !req
93. - What was that?Copy !req
94. Whoa!Copy !req
95. - Ahh.Copy !req
96. - Lulu?Copy !req
97. - Phil's old simian flame?Copy !req
98. It's all right, everyone.Copy !req
99. You can come out now.Copy !req
100. - Hans?Copy !req
101. Savio?Copy !req
102. Clemson and Rhonda too?Copy !req
103. - What in the name
of returning guest characters?Copy !req
104. It's villain-mageddon.Copy !req
105. - Not even close, my former foe.Copy !req
106. - It's time for a taste...Copy !req
107. of Hoboken hospitality.Copy !req
108. - Tragic, yet true.Copy !req
109. - Not me.Copy !req
110. - So we're good? I'm good.Copy !req
111. What?Copy !req
112. - Hi-ya! Huh! Ha!Copy !req
113. - Skipper, no!Copy !req
114. - Whoa!Copy !req
115. - Don't tell me you're buying
this sing-song claptrap.Copy !req
116. It's Hoboken,
where hopes goes to croak.Copy !req
117. - Okay, technically,
you're right.Copy !req
118. Don't look so smug.
I said you're right.Copy !req
119. - But Hoboken has changed.Copy !req
120. We got this new lady in charge,
zookeeper Frances—Copy !req
121. sister knows her swank.Copy !req
122. - Frances gives us activities,
fine cuisine,Copy !req
123. even massage chairs.Copy !req
124. - And who does not love
a good massage chair?Copy !req
125. Oh-h-h, y-y-y-yes.Copy !req
126. - In such a paradise,
who could remain evil?Copy !req
127. - Not me.Copy !req
128. - I second that.
Or is it third?Copy !req
129. I lost track,
I'm so happy over here.Copy !req
130. S-s-so h-h-h-happy...Copy !req
131. - Actually, Skipper,Copy !req
132. the new Hoboken Zoo does lookCopy !req
133. like a smashing vacation spot.Copy !req
134. - Rico, knock the pixie dust
out of Private's eyes.Copy !req
135. - Okay.
- Oof!Copy !req
136. - I am not vacationingCopy !req
137. in New Jersey's
own ninth portal of Hades.Copy !req
138. - I assure you,
this zoo is perfectly—Copy !req
139. - Are those my new arrivals
I hear?Copy !req
140. - Zookeeper incoming.Copy !req
141. Bug out, men.Copy !req
142. - Honestly, I don't see
what's so wrong here.Copy !req
143. - Open your nose, Private.Copy !req
144. This zoo reeks
of dark master plans.Copy !req
145. Question is,
who's the dark mastermind?Copy !req
146. Hooray!Copy !req
147. - Dark mastermind.
- Totally.Copy !req
148. - Welcome, welcome,
spanking new Hobokeners.Copy !req
149. Oh, I am gonna take such
good care of you.Copy !req
150. - Why does there always
have to beCopy !req
151. an evil mastermind with you?Copy !req
152. I think someone just
can't let themselves unwindCopy !req
153. and enjoy a proper holiday.Copy !req
154. the Hoboken emergency
hollow tooth.Copy !req
155. - But we don't have teeth.Copy !req
156. - You think I don't know that?Copy !req
157. Hoboken emergency activate.Copy !req
158. Save us from Hoboken.Copy !req
159. We are in Hoboken.Copy !req
160. Seriously. Hoboken.Copy !req
161. It's in New Jersey, Exit 14C.Copy !req
162. - Shouldn't we do something
about that?Copy !req
163. - Ptoo!Copy !req
164. - You know that doesn't
really fix the problem.Copy !req
165. - But it fixed my problem of
not hearing the television box.Copy !req
166. Now swivel the royal melon.Copy !req
167. - You're watching the Nonstop
Dance Boogie Network.Copy !req
168. - Oh, ooh-ooh.Copy !req
169. Uh, Mr. Mort,
set the booty to stunning.Copy !req
170. - Ptoo!Copy !req
171. Boogie down.Copy !req
172. Engage.Copy !req
173. - Now let's get back
to Bavarian Polka Week.Copy !req
174. German folk music?Copy !req
175. My booty's only weakness.Copy !req
176. Ahh, change it! Change it!Copy !req
177. This is
the most disgusting thingCopy !req
178. I ever have been made
to witness.Copy !req
179. Although maybe
after the shock wears off...Copy !req
180. No! No!Copy !req
181. It is even worse
the second time.Copy !req
182. Maurice, why are you
not making it go away?Copy !req
183. - We can't find the remote,
your majesty.Copy !req
184. - What?
This is the most outrageous...Copy !req
185. Ahh! I got so outraged
I forgot the not looking!Copy !req
186. This lack
of remote control-inessCopy !req
187. is unacceptable hospitality,
and somebody must pay.Copy !req
188. - Is it the penguins?Copy !req
189. - Uh, yeah, sure.
They'll do.Copy !req
190. If only I knew
where to find and yell at them.Copy !req
191. - I'd try Hoboken.Copy !req
192. - But I am having
a much better idea.Copy !req
193. - So, obviously,
we weren't expecting you,Copy !req
194. but I'm sure you can
get along with a puffinCopy !req
195. until we fix up
a proper habitat.Copy !req
196. - The puffin.Copy !req
197. Have fun!Copy !req
198. - Oh, yeah, we are going to be
the best of chummy fun pals.Copy !req
199. - No, Jaw.Copy !req
200. I'm not your fun pal,
you demented dame.Copy !req
201. I need evil zookeeper
intel asap.Copy !req
202. So are you gonna
spill your gizzard,Copy !req
203. or do I spill it for you?Copy !req
204. - Tickle fight!Copy !req
205. - Ooh, oh-ho-ho,
somebody has a tickle spot.Copy !req
206. - Massage chair party.
Who's in?Copy !req
207. - I am in!Copy !req
208. - Kowalski, analysis.Copy !req
209. - It appears zookeeper Frances
has them too terrified to talk.Copy !req
210. Instead, they mask their fearCopy !req
211. with hollow smiles
and tickle games.Copy !req
212. Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
213. - Aw...Copy !req
214. - What has that perky fiend
done to them?Copy !req
215. Massage chair.Copy !req
216. Massage chair...Copy !req
217. - And now it's the mini vac.Copy !req
218. That's six straight hours
of cleaning.Copy !req
219. Somebody needs a hobby.Copy !req
220. - Evil is her hobby.Copy !req
221. And no mini vac can suck up
its malignant stench.Copy !req
222. - Whoo!Copy !req
223. This is the greatest vacation
ever!Copy !req
224. - Ooh.Copy !req
225. - All right, you soft pretzels.Copy !req
226. We're cracking this dame's
happy, cacky racket.Copy !req
227. Kowalski, check the big bookCopy !req
228. of mad zookeeper conspiracies.Copy !req
229. - Let's see.Copy !req
230. There's entire zoo swapped outCopy !req
231. for look-a-like robots.Copy !req
232. - Ah!
- Hmm. Nope.Copy !req
233. That's a good fleshy feel.Copy !req
234. What else you got?Copy !req
235. - Paranoid scenario number two:
animals are hunted for sportCopy !req
236. by the world's lunatic
billionaires.Copy !req
237. - Too bad they made
one classic mistake:Copy !req
238. never hunt a hunter.Copy !req
239. Hi-ya!Copy !req
240. That bird hit teacher J.J.Copy !req
241. Oh, ooh, ow.Copy !req
242. - Oof!Copy !req
243. So many tiny hands.Copy !req
244. Tell me what I'm looking for,
Kowalski.Copy !req
245. - Any evidence
that zookeeper FrancesCopy !req
246. is consorting with aliens,
demons,Copy !req
247. and/or man-eating
carnivorous plants.Copy !req
248. - I got nothin'.Copy !req
249. - All I've got is some kindCopy !req
250. of zoo animal brochure.Copy !req
251. - Skipper, this is no brochure.Copy !req
252. No, no, it's a... cookbook!Copy !req
253. - What?Copy !req
254. - Mm. Wait a minute...Copy !req
255. - Uh, nope, heh.Copy !req
256. It's a brochure.Copy !req
257. Ooh, did you know they have
a cheese fountain here?Copy !req
258. - What? Wow!Copy !req
259. - Who doesn't like free cheese?Copy !req
260. Party!Copy !req
261. - Who-oa.Copy !req
262. - Ah! Eee! Ooh!Copy !req
263. - Yes! In Mort's face!Copy !req
264. And stomach and other parts.Copy !req
265. - I'm confused.Copy !req
266. Why did you think the penguins
would be here?Copy !req
267. - What? No, no,
I said I had a better idea.Copy !req
268. This was way more fun.Copy !req
269. But now that I am bored,Copy !req
270. let us go find
and yell at the penguins.Copy !req
271. - Okay,
it appears we're not asleepCopy !req
272. in some backwards dream world.Copy !req
273. - Really? Eh, better be sure.Copy !req
274. - No, Skipper,
I'm afraid that's it.Copy !req
275. In my scientific opinion,Copy !req
276. there is only one
plausible alternative:Copy !req
277. This place is...Copy !req
278. awesome!Copy !req
279. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
280. - You blind fools.Copy !req
281. You're living a false paradise,Copy !req
282. and when it comes
crashing down...Copy !req
283. - What's he on about?Copy !req
284. I have no idea-a-a.Copy !req
285. - This entire festering pustule
of filth-ridden putridity—Copy !req
286. Oh, Commissioner McSlade...Copy !req
287. they just don't make mid-level
bureaucrats like you anymore.Copy !req
288. - Oh, true that, Frances.Copy !req
289. - New York Parks Commissioner
Purvis McSlade?Copy !req
290. What back alley intrigue
is this?Copy !req
291. - Wow, this place
used to be a dump.Copy !req
292. But now, wow, you could eat
off these floors.Copy !req
293. Chk-pew!
How did you do it?Copy !req
294. - Uh-uh-uh! Zookeeper secret.Copy !req
295. - Ooh, sassy.Copy !req
296. That's a leadership quality.Copy !req
297. You, madam,
are a zookeeper with a future.Copy !req
298. Ooh, what's behind this door?Copy !req
299. - Nothing! Oh, it's nothing.Copy !req
300. It's
literally a doorway to nothing.Copy !req
301. - Oh, nothing, huh?Copy !req
302. Ha!Copy !req
303. - Wha? No, no, no!Copy !req
304. - Hi-ya!Copy !req
305. Ah!Copy !req
306. Behold the sinister secretCopy !req
307. at the heart of—guh?Copy !req
308. - I am so embarrassed.Copy !req
309. Oh, it's just you've always
been a hero of mine.Copy !req
310. I—I call it my
"inspiration nook."Copy !req
311. - Inspiration nook?Copy !req
312. I love it!Copy !req
313. - Does this mean
I'm coming to the Big Leagues?Copy !req
314. - The Big Apple Leagues.Copy !req
315. Welcome to the New York Parks
Commission.Copy !req
316. - Yes!Copy !req
317. Just give me a minuteCopy !req
318. to take care
of this little scamp.Copy !req
319. - Hm... oh!Copy !req
320. No dark underbelly?Copy !req
321. Is it possible I was wrong?Copy !req
322. Is Hoboken really some
hidden vacation paradise?Copy !req
323. Down you go.Copy !req
324. - Ahh!Copy !req
325. - Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
326. This zoo
is for sanitary animals.Copy !req
327. All dirty birdies go down the
garbage chute where they belong.Copy !req
328. Bye-bye.Copy !req
329. Ahh!Copy !req
330. Uh!Copy !req
331. Hoboken!Copy !req
332. - Knock it off, flat brow.Copy !req
333. Some of us prisoners
are trying to sleep.Copy !req
334. - Prisoners? How?Copy !req
335. - We can answer that, Skipper.Copy !req
336. - I saw you all topside.Copy !req
337. If you're down here,
then who are they up there?Copy !req
338. - The phony abalones?Copy !req
339. They are the fruits of zookeeper
Frances's twisted obsession.Copy !req
340. - Cloning?
- Cleaning.Copy !req
341. - That lady cannot stand a mess.Copy !req
342. Look, can we be honest here?Copy !req
343. Of course we can.
We're friends.Copy !req
344. Well, not friends
the way I think of it.Copy !req
345. The point is that zoo animalsCopy !req
346. are filthy, filthy beasts.Copy !req
347. There, I've said it,
and you all know it.Copy !req
348. - So down the chute we went,Copy !req
349. replaced by shiny,
clean android doubles.Copy !req
350. - Whoa, whoa, whoa—robots?Copy !req
351. Those things slap
like real animals.Copy !req
352. - Not robots, Skipper.Copy !req
353. Bio-mechanical androids
copied from our own DNA,Copy !req
354. courtesy of Frances's
body-scanning massage chairs.Copy !req
355. - Well, well,
so all this startedCopy !req
356. because some posh nancy catsCopy !req
357. couldn't resist a spin
in the massage-o-matic.Copy !req
358. Let that be a lesson to all—
hey!Copy !req
359. - Couldn't resist a massage,
you say?Copy !req
360. - Nancy cat.Copy !req
361. - Come on, it was one neck rub.Copy !req
362. - Hi! I know Kung-fu.Copy !req
363. Hi-ya!Copy !req
364. - Ahh!Copy !req
365. Oof!Copy !req
366. - You're a dirty birdie.Copy !req
367. - Ha!
And you're a talking toaster.Copy !req
368. - Tuesday is fudge day.Copy !req
369. - What?Copy !req
370. Oof!Copy !req
371. - Ow. Oh.Copy !req
372. - I'm going to have to go
with "not good" for that sound.Copy !req
373. - No, it—wait!Copy !req
374. Sound? We can hear that battle.Copy !req
375. Which means—yes!Copy !req
376. Skipper's knocked open
an exit hatch.Copy !req
377. - And how are we supposed
to get up there?Copy !req
378. - I've got an idea,
but it isn't going to be pretty.Copy !req
379. - Oof!Copy !req
380. Ha!Copy !req
381. Oh.Copy !req
382. - Fire in the hole!Copy !req
383. - Ahh!Copy !req
384. Oof!Copy !req
385. - Savio?Copy !req
386. - And to sort
the stomach contents...Copy !req
387. - Ew.Copy !req
388. - Love to get a tape of that.Copy !req
389. - Hi!Copy !req
390. I know Kung-fu.Copy !req
391. - Well, well, where's your
robotic superiority now?Copy !req
392. Dirty birdie.Copy !req
393. - Found it.Copy !req
394. - Welcome,
Tri-state Press Corps.Copy !req
395. - Eh?Copy !req
396. - You all know me,Copy !req
397. so let's introduce
this rising star.Copy !req
398. Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Frances Alberta.Copy !req
399. She cleaned up Hoboken,Copy !req
400. and now she's gonna clean up
Manhattan.Copy !req
401. - Manhattan?Copy !req
402. The Central Park Zoo!Copy !req
403. - Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
404. - Eh,
I could live with that one.Copy !req
405. - We have to stop Frances.Copy !req
406. Frances in danger.Copy !req
407. - Must destroy animals.Copy !req
408. - Why did we start talking
like robots?Copy !req
409. - I don't know.Copy !req
410. - Hold the line, boys.Copy !req
411. I got to bust up
a press conference.Copy !req
412. Hi-ya!Copy !req
413. - Hi-ya!
- Ho-ha!Copy !req
414. - Now, as commissioner, this
handshake is a legal contract.Copy !req
415. So let's limber up Mr. Righty
and make it official, hmm?Copy !req
416. - Must stop handshake—Copy !req
417. Uh!Copy !req
418. Oh, curse your robotic
super strengthCopy !req
419. and ruggedly handsome looks.Copy !req
420. - It's time to take out
the garbage.Copy !req
421. Uh!Copy !req
422. - Oh,
your face makes a new years.Copy !req
423. - Ring-tail!Copy !req
424. I never thought I'd be glad
to see you.Copy !req
425. - Uh-da-da.Copy !req
426. Do not be thinking you can
make sweet-talking excusesCopy !req
427. for this TV remote
fiasc-a-tastrophy.Copy !req
428. - The remote? I keep it on
the shelf next to the radio.Copy !req
429. - Okay. Good to know.Copy !req
430. - Aw, crud. Ah!Copy !req
431. - Handshake-a-coming.
Here we go.Copy !req
432. - Ahh! Oof!Copy !req
433. Now this is all your fault,Copy !req
434. Lousy massage... chairs.Copy !req
435. - Oh, my,
would you look at this mess?Copy !req
436. Zookeeper Frances
won't like this one bit.Copy !req
437. - Brother, this mess
is just getting started.Copy !req
438. Hi-ya!Copy !req
439. So-o-o-o-o relaxing.Copy !req
440. - Panther grab, panther grab.
And... ready.Copy !req
441. Anything you'd like to say,
Frances?Copy !req
442. - Just what a thrill
it's going to beCopy !req
443. to take care
of all of Central Park's—Copy !req
444. - Ahh!Copy !req
445. Hi!Copy !req
446. I know Kung-fu!Copy !req
447. - Bio-mechanical
android duplicates?Copy !req
448. - Dirty...Copy !req
449. filthy...Copy !req
450. animals!Copy !req
451. - Hi-ya!Copy !req
452. - No more messies!Copy !req
453. - Gah! Eee! Oh!Copy !req
454. - Oh, eat dirt.Copy !req
455. - Oof!Copy !req
456. - You are so fired.Copy !req
457. - Deadly robot doppelgangers,Copy !req
458. a perky, evil mastermind,
and a zoo in crisis.Copy !req
459. Boys, now, that's a vacation.Copy !req
460. Up high!Copy !req
461. Hah!Copy !req
462. - Rah!Copy !req
463. Boring!Copy !req
464. What else is on?Copy !req
465. The Lederhosen!Copy !req
466. It is like poison
for my eye stomachs.Copy !req
467. - Ahh!Copy !req