1. - Cute and cuddly, boys.Copy !req
2. - Let's see.
Twelve and twenty-three.Copy !req
3. Thirty-five degrees Northwest.Copy !req
4. - What you tracking, Kowalksi?Copy !req
5. - Skipper! Um, I am tracking...Copy !req
6. well, according to Atlantic
sea currentsCopy !req
7. and the migratory patterns
of marine mammals,Copy !req
8. there's a good chance,Copy !req
9. well, in a few hours,
a certain dolphinCopy !req
10. will be off New York's coast.Copy !req
11. - You mad genius, Kowalksi.Copy !req
12. Let the smackdown begin.Copy !req
13. For far too long,Copy !req
14. Dr. Blowhole
has had the upper fin.Copy !req
15. - Well, Skipper—
- But todayCopy !req
16. the element of surpriseCopy !req
17. is on our side.Copy !req
18. - Eh, blowhole!Copy !req
19. - Yay! We'll show
that oversized guppy.Copy !req
20. - About that oversized guppy.
You see—Copy !req
21. - We'll begin
with a deepwater assault.Copy !req
22. - Skipper!Copy !req
23. I haven't been tracking
Dr. Blowhole.Copy !req
24. I've been tracking...Copy !req
25. Doris.Copy !req
26. - Huh? Doris?Copy !req
27. Doris the dolphin?Copy !req
28. Seriously?
- Oh, man!Copy !req
29. - Reality to Kowalksi.Copy !req
30. She's just not into you.
- Yeah,Copy !req
31. how many times has she given youCopy !req
32. the "Let's just be friends"
talk?Copy !req
33. - Sixteen and a half.Copy !req
34. I couldn't hear the rest
over my sobbing.Copy !req
35. But this time,
this time will be different,Copy !req
36. for I have invented
a love you laser.Copy !req
37. - Love you what?Copy !req
38. - One blast from this beauty
instantly renders its targetCopy !req
39. utterly, hopelessly,
head-over-heelishly in loveCopy !req
40. with a preselected subject.Copy !req
41. Observe.Copy !req
42. - Hey, there, handsome.Copy !req
43. Yes, I'm talking to you.Copy !req
44. - Mort, are your ears clogged
with the waxy buildup?Copy !req
45. Is that why you cannot
be hearing meCopy !req
46. when I say not so close
to the royal throne?Copy !req
47. Uh, because, really,
you should be here.Copy !req
48. There you go, little buddy.
- Um...Copy !req
49. - Hush, no words.Copy !req
50. - It works.
It actually works.Copy !req
51. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
52. - Pull yourself together, man!Copy !req
53. Are you sure
this is what you want?Copy !req
54. - Skipper's right.Copy !req
55. When science meddles
in affairs of the heart,Copy !req
56. we're all bound
to be losers in love.Copy !req
57. - Yeah, but I was referring
to that.Copy !req
58. - And I've given up
on fairy tale endings.Copy !req
59. - This is a grim, grisly reality
you've made here, Kowalksi.Copy !req
60. Undo it all.Copy !req
61. - Aye-aye, Skipper.Copy !req
62. - Hmm, that's curious.Copy !req
63. It appears to be jammed.Copy !req
64. - Deadly fire!
- Ah!Copy !req
65. - Sound off, Private.Copy !req
66. - Other than a funny
little tingle,Copy !req
67. I'm right as rain.Copy !req
68. I'd be more concerned about—Copy !req
69. Kowalksi.Copy !req
70. Zip it! Zip your big,
word-spewing bigCopy !req
71. with its big,
snotty, big words!Copy !req
72. - What gives, Private?Copy !req
73. - Stand down, soldier.Copy !req
74. I said stand down.Copy !req
75. - Yes, Skipper. Sorry.Copy !req
76. - What's gotten into you,
Private?Copy !req
77. - Nothing, Skipper.
Nothing.Copy !req
78. - I think maybe the—Copy !req
79. What part of "zip it"
eludes you?Copy !req
80. The "zip" or the "it"?Copy !req
81. - I said stand down!Copy !req
82. - The love you laser
seems to have malfunctionedCopy !req
83. into a hate me laser.Copy !req
84. - Ooh, another brilliant
deductionCopy !req
85. from señor pointy-head.Copy !req
86. - All right, I'll ignore that.Copy !req
87. Words certainly can't—oh!Copy !req
88. - Ha ha! What do you think
of that, then?Copy !req
89. - Private, stow those antics.Copy !req
90. - Aye, Skipper.Copy !req
91. Stupid Kowalksi
with his toes.Copy !req
92. - Go on, Kowalksi.
- Theoretically,Copy !req
93. I can reverse the laser's
influenceCopy !req
94. if I were to rezap Private.Copy !req
95. - Well, zap away.
- That would require five ouncesCopy !req
96. of unspoiled McGuffium-239.Copy !req
97. From a lab.Copy !req
98. In Brooklyn.Copy !req
99. Then we roll.Copy !req
100. - Yeah, yeah, run away.Copy !req
101. Run away on your stupid
tiny toes, pointy-head!Copy !req
102. - Well, that was easy.Copy !req
103. Now, this McGuffium
should—oh!Copy !req
104. Not be dropped. Ow!
- Take that, pointy!Copy !req
105. And here; take another oneCopy !req
106. for your beady little eyes.Copy !req
107. - Ow! Ooh! Stop it!Copy !req
108. My eyes aren't beady.Copy !req
109. Skipper!Copy !req
110. - Rico, disarm the Private.Copy !req
111. Ah!Copy !req
112. - Well, hopefully, this time,
the McGuffi—ow!Copy !req
113. - You should—
you should see the lookCopy !req
114. on your ugly, pointy face.Copy !req
115. - No more nasty business,
Private.Copy !req
116. I order you
to let Kowalksi pass.Copy !req
117. In fact,
I order you to stay stillCopy !req
118. and not move one bone
in your little hate-filled body.Copy !req
119. Good.Copy !req
120. - Incoming!Copy !req
121. - Well, that's a relief.
To the lab.Copy !req
122. - Sit tight, soldier,
and soon you'll be backCopy !req
123. to your old sugar-sweet self.Copy !req
124. - It's a decoy! Kowalksi!Copy !req
125. - Ha ha!
- Get him off! Get him off!Copy !req
126. Get him off! Get him off!Copy !req
127. The anti-intruder controls.Copy !req
128. Dance, Kowalksi, dance!Copy !req
129. Dance on your hideously
misshapen feet!Copy !req
130. - Sorry, buddy.Copy !req
131. - Here, I got you a little
something.Copy !req
132. - I say, Mort?Copy !req
133. How about a smoothie
with those fleas?Copy !req
134. - Fleas? Fleas?
And now smoothies?Copy !req
135. Yes!
My answer is yes!Copy !req
136. - Maurice?
Two mango smoothies, please.Copy !req
137. - You feeling okay,
Your Majesty?Copy !req
138. - Yes, never better. Why?Copy !req
139. - I've never been better
neither.Copy !req
140. - On second thoughts,
Maurice,Copy !req
141. make that one smoothie
with two straws.Copy !req
142. - Okay, that should do it.Copy !req
143. - What was that?
- I don't know.Copy !req
144. - Whoa. Did you guys feel
that wicked energy surge?Copy !req
145. - Yeah. Hey, how would you
like to feel my fistCopy !req
146. denting your smug yap?
- I don't think I would.Copy !req
147. - You pathetic excuse
for a soldier.Copy !req
148. - Your beak is so wide.Copy !req
149. - I have to go now!Copy !req
150. - Bye-bye.Copy !req
151. - Oh, Marlene,
am I glad to see you—Copy !req
152. - Yeah?
Well, that makes one of us.Copy !req
153. - I'm going to crush you
like a peanut.Copy !req
154. - I don't think I want
to be peanut butter!Copy !req
155. Ooh!
Ah.Copy !req
156. Okay, this is probably oneCopy !req
157. of the scariest places
I could have landed.Copy !req
158. - For reasons unknown to me
thus far,Copy !req
159. I wish to do him grievous
bodily harm.Copy !req
160. - Yeah, I got that too.Copy !req
161. - Ohhh!Copy !req
162. - Just the penguin
I wanted to skewer.Copy !req
163. - I'm only one penguin!Copy !req
164. - Hey, there's that penguin
I hate so much.Copy !req
165. - He makes me angry.
I wish to beat him.Copy !req
166. - No, no. Mort, Mort,
your nails are still dryingCopy !req
167. from the mani I just gave you.Copy !req
168. Let me do it.Copy !req
169. I will introduce him to righty.Copy !req
170. And then I will introduce him
to...Copy !req
171. you know, my other righty.Copy !req
172. - He went this way.
Over here!Copy !req
173. - The love you laser,
that's my only hope.Copy !req
174. But that's back at HQ.Copy !req
175. Oh, options, Kowalksi.
Options.Copy !req
176. - Where did that stupid
ding-dong go?Copy !req
177. - Naaa!
- Oh,Copy !req
178. I want to make
peanut butter.Copy !req
179. - Shh with the peanut butter.Copy !req
180. Hey, Kowalksi?
- Let me try. Kowalksi?Copy !req
181. We want to know
how magnets work.Copy !req
182. Do you have a long-winded
explanationCopy !req
183. you can bore us with?Copy !req
184. - Almost there.Copy !req
185. Oh, mama.Copy !req
186. - Math, don't fail me now.
Ahhhh!Copy !req
187. - Ooh!
Roy hooks a little to the left.Copy !req
188. That's good to know.
All right, Kowalksi.Copy !req
189. You've got one shot.Copy !req
190. Make it count!Copy !req
191. Hey, everybody!Copy !req
192. Over here!Copy !req
193. Farm fresh Kowalksi!Copy !req
194. - Get him!Copy !req
195. Come on, work.
Work!Copy !req
196. Please,
for the love of Isaac Newton,Copy !req
197. make it quick.Copy !req
198. - Hey, I don't have the blinding
urge to maim,Copy !req
199. degrade, and humiliate
Kowalksi anymore.Copy !req
200. - Yeah, that's strange.Copy !req
201. I wanted to squeeze you
till you popped.Copy !req
202. Oh, boy, that would have been
a mess. Sorry.Copy !req
203. - You're lucky, little bird.Copy !req
204. You were gonna be
in a world of hurt.Copy !req
205. - But we had a change of heart
and whatnot.Copy !req
206. - Ah, that certainly
was a close one.Copy !req
207. I'm sorry for inventing
the dang love you laser.Copy !req
208. - Who knows; maybe things
will work outCopy !req
209. between you and Doris someday.
- But for now,Copy !req
210. it's good to have everything
and everyone back to normal.Copy !req
211. - Oh, look, dolphins.Copy !req
212. So romantic.Copy !req
213. - Oh, Phil, have you seen
my Victorian-era wig?Copy !req
214. - Yo, Alice, you seen my mallet?Copy !req
215. - Let me check my desk drawer.Copy !req
216. Huh? Where's my desk?Copy !req
217. - This court-martial
is now in session.Copy !req
218. Court reporter is present.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
219. What is this, a race?
I got, like, no words of that.Copy !req
220. And you know I'm kind of so-so
with the whole spelling thing.Copy !req
221. - Prosecutor Private,
let's hear your case.Copy !req
222. - Your honor, I submit
that one of our very ownCopy !req
223. is guilty of...
fibbing in the first degree.Copy !req
224. - Defense Attorney Rico,
your response.Copy !req
225. - Oh, come on!Copy !req
226. - How many "O's in:
?Copy !req
227. Ten or eleven?
Maybe 12.Copy !req
228. - Your honor, let us go back
to the morning in question.Copy !req
229. - Aw, Prince cheers-a-lot,Copy !req
230. a lunicorn should never
be afraid to admit he's afraid.Copy !req
231. - Ugh! Nauseating.Copy !req
232. Time to 86 this touchy-feely
propaganda.Copy !req
233. Where's the remote?
Anybody seen the remote?Copy !req
234. Where's the remote?Copy !req
235. Come on! Somebody must know
where the remote is!Copy !req
236. - Yes, you are!Copy !req
237. - Kowalksi, have you seen the—Copy !req
238. Monster! Monster! Monster!Copy !req
239. - Aha! Let the record show
that the defendantCopy !req
240. had claimed he destroyed
jiggles.Copy !req
241. - Technically, I never said
those words.Copy !req
242. - See this?
This is a stink-eye.Copy !req
243. And I'm giving it to you.Copy !req
244. - Okay, I may have given
that impression.Copy !req
245. - That's all I need to hear.
Guilty!Copy !req
246. Aw!Copy !req
247. - "They all lived
happily ever after,Copy !req
248. especially the handsomeCopy !req
249. and brave court reporter,
me, end."Copy !req
250. - Rico. Rico, wake up!Copy !req
251. Lay some legal jiujitsu
on these punks.Copy !req
252. - Fine, I'll mount my own
defense.Copy !req
253. Admit it, Skipper;Copy !req
254. it was your panic
that caused the real crisis.Copy !req
255. Let us return again to that
fateful morning in question,Copy !req
256. like, mere seconds
after we left off.Copy !req
257. - Surrender the cube-shaped
demon, Kowalksi.Copy !req
258. - Skipper,
Jiggles is different now.Copy !req
259. He's been rejiggled.Copy !req
260. - Rejiggled?Copy !req
261. - Physiologically speaking.Copy !req
262. You see, I've changed Jiggles
on a molecular level.Copy !req
263. He no longer eats fruit.Copy !req
264. Ergo, he will never grow
to the sizeCopy !req
265. of a party-like-a-rock-star
tour bus.Copy !req
266. - No fruit?
So what does he eat?Copy !req
267. Penguins, right?
It's penguins. I knew it.Copy !req
268. - Pfft!
No, he only eats this.Copy !req
269. - Whipped cream?Copy !req
270. - So Jiggles is completely
harmless?Copy !req
271. - Abso-tively.
You can thank science for that.Copy !req
272. And me, of course,Copy !req
273. because I'm the scientist.Copy !req
274. You're welcome.Copy !req
275. - Rico,
instrument of destruction.Copy !req
276. - Hoo hoo hoo!
Batter up.Copy !req
277. - Skipper, no!Copy !req
278. My baby!Copy !req
279. No! Why did you—wha—Copy !req
280. What? Wha?
Multiplication on impact?Copy !req
281. Unanticipated.Copy !req
282. Must be a rejiggling
side effect.Copy !req
283. - Kowalksi,Copy !req
284. what's wrong
with your monstrosity?Copy !req
285. - Of course!Copy !req
286. By altering
the deoxyribonucleic acid,Copy !req
287. I've increased the chromosomic
enzymes' flexibility.Copy !req
288. Any type of violent impact
will cause Jiggles to subdivide.Copy !req
289. Violent what?Copy !req
290. - Hmm, Kowalksi does have
a point, Skipper.Copy !req
291. You did make it worse.Copy !req
292. - You did. It's true.
You totally exacerbated.Copy !req
293. Just saying.
- Nuts.Copy !req
294. Continue.Copy !req
295. - Skipper?
- Get on with it, Private.Copy !req
296. You're the prosecutor,
so prosecute.Copy !req
297. - Oh, okay.
Re-returning to the morningCopy !req
298. in question...Copy !req
299. - Deja vu.
Am I right?Copy !req
300. - We've got to nip this problem
in the bud.Copy !req
301. Rico, on the doomsday device.Copy !req
302. Set the timer for five minutes.Copy !req
303. Private, prep the star shuttle
for launch.Copy !req
304. - That seems a little hasty.
- We've got no choice.Copy !req
305. We'll leave this planet
a burning husk,Copy !req
306. strike out into the cosmos,
conquer a new home,Copy !req
307. repopulate the penguin species.Copy !req
308. - Skipper, won't we need girls
for that?Copy !req
309. - What?Copy !req
310. - We don't need to leave
the earth.Copy !req
311. Rest assured I will find a way
to fix this.Copy !req
312. - So the Jiggleses—Jiggles?Copy !req
313. Uh, what's the plural
of "Jiggles"?Copy !req
314. - Let's go with Jiggli.Copy !req
315. - Ooh, Jiggli.
- Okay, the Jiggli.Copy !req
316. They can't escape
from your lab, right?Copy !req
317. - Absolutely not.
No way.Copy !req
318. Not unless they find
the air vent.Copy !req
319. - Topside!Copy !req
320. - Nooooooooo!Copy !req
321. - Um!
- Mmm.Copy !req
322. - They're eating my babies.Copy !req
323. Barbarians!Copy !req
324. They will pay.Copy !req
325. - Mmm.
Lime.Copy !req
326. - "Gelatin dessert snacks."Copy !req
327. - Look, the real Jiggli.Copy !req
328. - Taste justice,
Jiggli-eaters!Copy !req
329. - No!
- No!Copy !req
330. What?Copy !req
331. - So does the defense have
an objection?Copy !req
332. - What?
- Rico, we're in the middleCopy !req
333. of testimony.
- Okay. Lunch!Copy !req
334. - Now, we all recall
what happened next.Copy !req
335. - Boy, do we ever.
I started fighting crimeCopy !req
336. with a bulldozer possessed
by the spiritCopy !req
337. of president
William Howard Taft.Copy !req
338. Okay, Taft, we got Mendoza
trapped inside.Copy !req
339. I think we can take him
if we work together.Copy !req
340. - That's not how I remember it.Copy !req
341. - Yeah, well, we're just going
to have to agreeCopy !req
342. to disagree on this one.Copy !req
343. - Well, the way I remember
it is, Kowalksi told us...Copy !req
344. - If the Jiggli experience
everyday impactsCopy !req
345. at a normal rate,
they'll cover the surfaceCopy !req
346. of the earth in about...
uh, 12 days.Copy !req
347. - Ha ha ha!Copy !req
348. Yes, yes!
Shake your shimmies!Copy !req
349. - Anyone know what these are?Copy !req
350. - I like the way they explode
off my bottom.Copy !req
351. - Make that eight days.Copy !req
352. Little green cubes!Copy !req
353. Nothing scares me more
than little green cubes.Copy !req
354. - Four days.Copy !req
355. - Three days.Copy !req
356. Two.Copy !req
357. - Anybody whose last name
doesn't end in "Owalski"Copy !req
358. have any options?
- Yup!Copy !req
359. - So we lure all the Jiggli
to these coordinates.Copy !req
360. Then what happens?
- Beats me.Copy !req
361. Rico's the man with the plan.Copy !req
362. - And you're comfortable
with that?Copy !req
363. - Eh.
- Ooh, we're trapping themCopy !req
364. within a hermetically sealed
titanium enclosure, right?Copy !req
365. - Nuh-uh.Copy !req
366. - A magnetic demobilizing ray?Copy !req
367. - Nope.
- A giant-sized butterfly net?Copy !req
368. Sweet Nobel's beard!
You don't intend to—Copy !req
369. - Kaboom!
- Quick! Hit the deck!Copy !req
370. - It was beast
that killed the beauties.Copy !req
371. - Kowalksi,
they're not really gone,Copy !req
372. not as long
as you remember them.Copy !req
373. And also they're not gone
as long as they're fallingCopy !req
374. out of the sky!Copy !req
375. - Well, thanks to Rico,Copy !req
376. the world now only has
47 minutesCopy !req
377. until total Jigglification.Copy !req
378. - And that was just
ten minutes ago!Copy !req
379. What?Copy !req
380. - Rico, you're just as guilty
as the rest of us.Copy !req
381. - Hop in.
The water's fine.Copy !req
382. - All right.Copy !req
383. - Um, can you repeat
the last part?Copy !req
384. - Which part?
- Uh, just everything afterCopy !req
385. "This court-martial
is now in session."Copy !req
386. What? I told you
there was too muchCopy !req
387. yup-yup-yup fast talking.Copy !req
388. - Oh, why not?Copy !req
389. - Well, get on with it,
prosecutor.Copy !req
390. Remember, it's your duty
to meet out red-hot justice.Copy !req
391. - But, but you're my friends.Copy !req
392. - No mercy, Private.
- Remember, justice is blind.Copy !req
393. - Okay, then.
If it please the court,Copy !req
394. I would like to get in there
with you,Copy !req
395. because I can't do this.Copy !req
396. - Well, ain't this
a pretty picture?Copy !req
397. The whole unit in the pokey.Copy !req
398. - So, like, what now?
- Dessert?Copy !req
399. - Yes, Rico,
you can have dessert.Copy !req
400. - Mmm, pie.Copy !req
401. - No!Copy !req
402. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
403. Mm.Copy !req
404. - Help! Help!
I am drowning in Jiggli!Copy !req
405. - Well, on the bright side,Copy !req
406. of all the ways we could have
met our doom,Copy !req
407. this is the most adorable one.Copy !req
408. - Well, that's cold comfort.Copy !req
409. - Cold!
That's the answer!Copy !req
410. I just need to reset
the thermostat so lowCopy !req
411. that no creature on earth
could standCopy !req
412. the frigid temperature—Copy !req
413. no creature, that is,
but a penguin.Copy !req
414. - Cold. So cold.Copy !req
415. - Up high.Copy !req
416. Uh, belay that up high
until we're topside.Copy !req
417. - Can't... feel... booty.Copy !req
418. - That was pretty cool thinking
when the heat was on, Kowalksi.Copy !req
419. - And yet I feel no joy.
Frozen solid is no lifeCopy !req
420. for sentient gelatin.Copy !req
421. What's a slightly
mad scientist to do?Copy !req
422. - I don't know.
Think outside the box?Copy !req
423. Isn't that what you scientific
nerdlets like to do?Copy !req
424. - Hmm, outside the box...Copy !req
425. or outside our atmosphere.Copy !req
426. - Wait, I thought we ruled out
leaving the planet.Copy !req
427. - We did, but we're
not the ones leaving.Copy !req
428. - Huh?Copy !req