1. - Cute and cuddly, boys.Copy !req
2. - This is it, men.Copy !req
3. Although I can't read,Copy !req
4. I am certain this postcard
is the call to armsCopy !req
5. we've been waiting for.Copy !req
6. - We just need the chimps
to confirm.Copy !req
7. - Confirm nothing, Kowalski!Copy !req
8. I can feel it in my gut.Copy !req
9. Do you doubt my gut?
This gut here?Copy !req
10. Do you?
Gut doubter?Copy !req
11. - No, skipper.
No!Copy !req
12. You know I have the utmost
respect for your gut.Copy !req
13. - Right, and my gut says
this is it.Copy !req
14. Farmageddon.Copy !req
15. Rico, weapons.Copy !req
16. Bring it on!Copy !req
17. Whoo!Copy !req
18. - It says Private's Uncle NigelCopy !req
19. is coming for a visit.Copy !req
20. - Uncle Nigel?
Oh, joy.Copy !req
21. - Oh.Copy !req
22. - My car!Copy !req
23. - So I was on the hunt for
a rare rough-fruited buttercup.Copy !req
24. - It's a flower.
- Oh.Copy !req
25. - Circled the globe twice over,Copy !req
26. only to find the tricky devilCopy !req
27. right there in my own
cottage garden.Copy !req
28. Dear me.Copy !req
29. Wait. What?Copy !req
30. - Oh, Uncle Nigel,
another smashing story.Copy !req
31. I'm so glad you found the time
to visit.Copy !req
32. - Well, it was nothing
but a skip across the pond.Copy !req
33. Well worth it
for my favorite nephew.Copy !req
34. I had such a doily
when I was a lad...Copy !req
35. hand-knitted a tea cozy...Copy !req
36. hairpin lace doily...Copy !req
37. - Doilies, doilies, doilies.Copy !req
38. We need a distraction.Copy !req
39. - I am on it.Copy !req
40. Well, how about that?Copy !req
41. I seem to have sent
the power core into overload.Copy !req
42. Clumsy me.Copy !req
43. - Really, Kowalski?Copy !req
44. That's your distraction?Copy !req
45. - It was the first thing
that came to mind.Copy !req
46. - Distraction?Copy !req
47. - Nothing, Private.
Nothing at all.Copy !req
48. Come on, men.
Let's go have some funCopy !req
49. with antimatter rods.Copy !req
50. - Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
51. - Rightio, lads.Copy !req
52. We best get on the—whoa!Copy !req
53. - No, no, Nigel.
Stay with Private,Copy !req
54. and tell him more of those
delightfully stupefying stories.Copy !req
55. - All right, then,
I shall,Copy !req
56. - Tell them all.
Get them out of your system.Copy !req
57. Please.Copy !req
58. - So just when I thought
I'd found the perfect doily...Copy !req
59. Right.
They're gone.Copy !req
60. Now I can proceed
with my true mission.Copy !req
61. - Mission?Copy !req
62. - Hush, hush, boy.Copy !req
63. High probability of dicey.Copy !req
64. - Dicey?Copy !req
65. Uncle Nigel, what are you
talking about?Copy !req
66. - The old spy game.Copy !req
67. Why, surely you've suspected.Copy !req
68. You're a spy?Copy !req
69. - Ow!
- Well, of course,Copy !req
70. Auntie Polly with Colin BeggarCopy !req
71. absolutely refused to—Copy !req
72. of course I'm a spy, lad.Copy !req
73. - What is that?
- Ooh,Copy !req
74. just a little something
the boys in the lab whipped up.Copy !req
75. Then Cousin Dickey and Aunt—Copy !req
76. ah, my target is indeed
somewhere in this Central Park.Copy !req
77. - But you can't be a spy.Copy !req
78. The buttercups, the knitting,
the doilies.Copy !req
79. - Rubbish for the ruse, boy,Copy !req
80. the trappings
of the deep cover life.Copy !req
81. By the by, compliments
on your own cover, Private.Copy !req
82. No one would ever suspect youCopy !req
83. to be anything
but a hopeless nancy cat.Copy !req
84. I mean, look at this bit
of stuff and nonsense.Copy !req
85. Brilliant!Copy !req
86. And bright.Copy !req
87. - All—all part of my cover.Copy !req
88. - Teacups, crumpets,
Battenberg.Copy !req
89. Right.Copy !req
90. Now, my target
is the vilest of vermin:Copy !req
91. The Red Squirrel.Copy !req
92. - The Red Squirrel?Copy !req
93. Uncle Nigel,
there is no Red Squirrel.Copy !req
94. He's just a myth.Copy !req
95. - He's a tricky customer,
sure enough.Copy !req
96. 50 years unseen by any and all.Copy !req
97. But that's about to change.Copy !req
98. Quickly, lad.
A game's afoot.Copy !req
99. - Uncle Nigel, please.Copy !req
100. The Red Squirrel
is a fairy tale.Copy !req
101. - Pay attention, because I'm
only going to say this once—Copy !req
102. unless, of course,
at my discretionCopy !req
103. I choose to repeat it.Copy !req
104. The Red Squirrel is real.Copy !req
105. - Uncle Nigel,
that's impossible,Copy !req
106. because he doesn't exist.Copy !req
107. But how? I don't—
I can't—Copy !req
108. - Who's a brave soldier?Copy !req
109. You disarm the missile.Copy !req
110. I've got an engagementCopy !req
111. with sciurus vulgaris.Copy !req
112. - What an agent, Nigel.Copy !req
113. I'm impressed.Copy !req
114. Ah!Copy !req
115. The sun!Copy !req
116. All those years underground,Copy !req
117. I got the light sensitivity,
and I got it bad.Copy !req
118. - The Red Squirrel is real?
Really real? Really?Copy !req
119. - Lad, don't make me
beak-slap you again.Copy !req
120. - Right.Copy !req
121. - Shall we, Red?Copy !req
122. - What's your nefarious plan
this time?Copy !req
123. - The toxin in that missile
will make acorns grow so large,Copy !req
124. they will destroy
all other plant life.Copy !req
125. - 50 years planning,
and you come up with that?Copy !req
126. - I like acorns.Copy !req
127. A lot!Copy !req
128. Hi-yah!
- Ooh!Copy !req
129. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
130. Oh, dear.Copy !req
131. - Surrender, Red.Copy !req
132. - Sorry, Agent Nigel,Copy !req
133. but I have a previously
scheduled launch date.Copy !req
134. - Oh, nasty place
for that launch button.Copy !req
135. Private!
Get off of there, lad!Copy !req
136. - No, I can—Copy !req
137. Ah!Copy !req
138. Ooh!
Ow!Copy !req
139. Ooh!Copy !req
140. - Throwing yourself
into the bowelsCopy !req
141. of the beast.
Gusty move.Copy !req
142. - And—and a completely
intentional one too.Copy !req
143. Totally not an accident.Copy !req
144. - 50 years of my life—kaput!Copy !req
145. You birds are so annoying.Copy !req
146. But The Red Squirrel
will rise again.Copy !req
147. - Blast.Copy !req
148. - Guys, guys, guys,
you won't believe it.Copy !req
149. Uncle Nigel and I
fought The Red Squirrel.Copy !req
150. - You called it, Private.
I don't believe it.Copy !req
151. - The scenario seems unlikely,Copy !req
152. given The Red Squirrel's
lack of existenceCopy !req
153. and Uncle Nigel's—Copy !req
154. - Ah!Copy !req
155. Dear.
Crushed my crumpet.Copy !req
156. - Um, that.Copy !req
157. - No, Uncle Nigel, tell themCopy !req
158. about The Red Squirrel.Copy !req
159. It's okay.
You can trust them.Copy !req
160. He's really a dashing
and not at all daffy spy.Copy !req
161. - Yeah... right.Copy !req
162. - Oh, my boy.
Are you having a laugh?Copy !req
163. Good show.Copy !req
164. Oh, I can't say
I understand it.Copy !req
165. Perhaps we can decipher it all
over a cupper and biscuits.Copy !req
166. Private, would you mind?Copy !req
167. - What?Copy !req
168. Fine.Copy !req
169. - That boy and his imagination.Copy !req
170. Tall tales and short stories,
eh?Copy !req
171. - Hmm.Copy !req
172. - No!Copy !req
173. - Ooh!Copy !req
174. - Uh, what—what happened?Copy !req
175. - I am what happened—Copy !req
176. The Red Squirrel.Copy !req
177. - Impossible.
You don't exist.Copy !req
178. - Right.
You go on thinking that.Copy !req
179. Meanwhile, I've incapacitatedCopy !req
180. the world's greatest
penguin agent,Copy !req
181. and now there is no one who can
possibly stop my mad plans.Copy !req
182. - I may be locked up, Red,Copy !req
183. but I'm hardly incapacitated.Copy !req
184. - Who is talking about you?Copy !req
185. I am speaking of super-secret
Agent Nigel.Copy !req
186. - What?Copy !req
187. Secret agent?
Me?Copy !req
188. You've got the wrong fellow,
old bean.Copy !req
189. Guess the ruse is up.Copy !req
190. Oh, well, had a good run.Copy !req
191. - You? You actually areCopy !req
192. a super-secret agent?Copy !req
193. - Hello.
Welcome to the show.Copy !req
194. You're late,
but we saved you a seat.Copy !req
195. - I guess we owe Private
an apology.Copy !req
196. I'd rather it was cash.Copy !req
197. Private?Copy !req
198. - Had some trouble
with the kettle, but—Copy !req
199. hello?Copy !req
200. Oh, no.Copy !req
201. - No matter.Copy !req
202. This private penguin,Copy !req
203. he is bumble-headed ninny.Copy !req
204. He is nothing.Copy !req
205. - Huh.
The old rube has fallen for it.Copy !req
206. He actually believes
Private's nancy cat front.Copy !req
207. - Um... ooh.Copy !req
208. - Oh, Princess Self-Repectra,
what do I do?Copy !req
209. How can I possibly stop
Red Squirrel all by myself?Copy !req
210. - Hang about?Copy !req
211. Where is that trapdoor?Copy !req
212. Maybe it was this oneCopy !req
213. or this one.Copy !req
214. I thought for sure
it was one of these—Copy !req
215. ooh!Copy !req
216. Ooh.Copy !req
217. Ugh!Copy !req
218. Oh.Copy !req
219. - Here comes our rescue, boys.Copy !req
220. - Is this how you
come to fight, with a toy?Copy !req
221. - Yes.
Yes, it is.Copy !req
222. - Brilliant!Copy !req
223. Even in the heat of battle,Copy !req
224. he's a complete fancy pants.Copy !req
225. Dedication to a cover story,
that's what that is.Copy !req
226. Yeah.Copy !req
227. - Ah!Copy !req
228. Yah!
Yah!Copy !req
229. You realize how ridiculous
you look with your horned pony?Copy !req
230. - You're just jealous I have
a Lunacorn and you don't.Copy !req
231. - What?
Of course not.Copy !req
232. It is soft and weak,
like you.Copy !req
233. - Jealous.Copy !req
234. Ooh!Copy !req
235. - I am not jealous.Copy !req
236. In fact, I am going to rip it
apart right before your eyes.Copy !req
237. - Actually, it was your eye
I was thinking about.Copy !req
238. - What do you mean by—Copy !req
239. ah!Copy !req
240. So bright.Copy !req
241. - Top-notch work, Private.Copy !req
242. - Ah!Copy !req
243. - Well, Red.Copy !req
244. Shall we finish this?Copy !req
245. - Another time,
so do svidaniya.Copy !req
246. - Nuts. That squirrelly son
of a gun has slipped away.Copy !req
247. - Yes, but we've seized
his secret base.Copy !req
248. - Which is apparently set
to self-destruct.Copy !req
249. - Ooh! Again! Again!
- Sorry, Rico.Copy !req
250. An evil lair can only
self-destruct once.Copy !req
251. - Oh, man.Copy !req
252. - Thanks for the hospitality,
chaps.Copy !req
253. I'll let everyone at HQ know
what a bang-up job you all did.Copy !req
254. Especially you, Private.Copy !req
255. You almost had me convincedCopy !req
256. you were a plush-hugging
twirl-about.Copy !req
257. - Well, you know,
the funny thing about that is,Copy !req
258. Private actually is a—
- Grateful.Copy !req
259. Grateful for everything I've
learned from you, Uncle Nigel.Copy !req
260. - Oh, yes.
L.O.L. Indeed.Copy !req
261. What is it?Copy !req
262. - And you're certain of this?Copy !req
263. - I'm afraid so.
This came straightCopy !req
264. from Alice's office.
It says he hasCopy !req
265. something called
Ofu-Olosega.Copy !req
266. - Hmm.
Exotic and hard to pronounce.Copy !req
267. I don't like it.Copy !req
268. - Skipper, the document appears
to be authentic.Copy !req
269. Yes, without a doubt,
it's paper.Copy !req
270. - Let's not jump to conclusions
on incomplete factsCopy !req
271. or fax paper.Copy !req
272. Remember what happened
to Manfredi and Johnson.Copy !req
273. - The order was to smother them
with affection.Copy !req
274. - Ooh.
Only hurt the first-half.Copy !req
275. - That's why we double check.Copy !req
276. - It's kind of hard to read.
Something about MauriceCopy !req
277. having only 24 hours left.Copy !req
278. - Skipper, it's true.Copy !req
279. Maurice has only
until tomorrow morning...Copy !req
280. to live.Copy !req
281. - Get out your handkerchiefs,
people.Copy !req
282. - Hey, wait.
Wait for me.Copy !req
283. What is being so important,Copy !req
284. and why did I have to find
some busynessCopy !req
285. to keep Maurice away?Copy !req
286. I sent him to the park
to gather walnuts.Copy !req
287. And I am hating walnuts, so...Copy !req
288. he's gonna be in so much
trouble when he returns.Copy !req
289. It's gonna be great.Copy !req
290. - Take a seat, ringtail.Copy !req
291. We've got some bad news.Copy !req
292. - It appears that Maurice
has tofu-bola-sagway.Copy !req
293. - And he only has
until tomorrow morning.Copy !req
294. - Until what exactly?Copy !req
295. - No!
It cannot be.Copy !req
296. I cannot lose my bestest friendCopy !req
297. in the whole wide world.Copy !req
298. - Best friend?
But you're always—Copy !req
299. - What? Ordering him aroundCopy !req
300. and berate-ifying him?Copy !req
301. You know nothing
of the subtleties of friendship.Copy !req
302. - Sorry, ringtail.Copy !req
303. The grim reaper is one foe
I can't fight.Copy !req
304. He's got no face.
It freaks me out.Copy !req
305. - Well, someone's going to have
to tell Maurice.Copy !req
306. - Can we avoid the call
for volunteers?Copy !req
307. It always ends up being me.Copy !req
308. - Wait. Hold up.
Why does he have to know?Copy !req
309. Why don't we all just make sure
that Maurice's last dayCopy !req
310. is the best he's ever had?Copy !req
311. - Marlene,
that's a brilliant idea.Copy !req
312. - Maurice, here,
let me help you.Copy !req
313. So how was your day?Copy !req
314. Pfft!Copy !req
315. Walnuts.Copy !req
316. - Thank you.Copy !req
317. - But, King Julien,
you sent me outCopy !req
318. to get those walnuts.Copy !req
319. - Yeah, you know
when you love somethingCopy !req
320. and you hate it
at the same time?Copy !req
321. - No.
- I do!Copy !req
322. - Well, I would love and hate
for you to be comfortable,Copy !req
323. so sit upon my throne.Copy !req
324. Ugh.
Here, you do it.Copy !req
325. I'm tired.Copy !req
326. - What's going on?Copy !req
327. Am I in trouble?Copy !req
328. - Trouble?Copy !req
329. No.Copy !req
330. Can't two buddies just be
hanging out, man?Copy !req
331. - Buddies?Copy !req
332. - Yeah, you know, buddies.Copy !req
333. Come on, let's go toss
the old...Copy !req
334. coconut around
like the old times.Copy !req
335. - You and I have never tossed
a coconut or anything anywhere.Copy !req
336. - Oh, that did not just happen.Copy !req
337. - It's go time.Copy !req
338. - Who's throwing coconuts
over there?Copy !req
339. That was close.Copy !req
340. Oh, no!
What have I done?Copy !req
341. Do not be pounding
on my doomed buddy.Copy !req
342. Do it to, you know,
mort instead.Copy !req
343. - Ah, please don't.Copy !req
344. - Yo, we ain't pounding nobody.Copy !req
345. - We're just having fun
with our good friend Maurice.Copy !req
346. - What was that "doomed" part
you were saying back there?Copy !req
347. - Have a banana.
Have two.Copy !req
348. They're full of potassium
and whatnot.Copy !req
349. - Look, fellas,
I don't want to be ungrateful.Copy !req
350. I just want to relax.Copy !req
351. - Hey, Maurice.
Let me carry you home.Copy !req
352. - What is wrong with everyone?Copy !req
353. Why are they all acting so nice?Copy !req
354. And creepy?Copy !req
355. - Maybe they know
you're going to die...Copy !req
356. your hair!Copy !req
357. I mean, you're dyeing
your hair.Copy !req
358. - Yes.
I mean, no.Copy !req
359. I mean, what?Copy !req
360. - Skipper, I wish
there was somethingCopy !req
361. we could do for Maurice.Copy !req
362. - I know, Private. I know.
- Aww.Copy !req
363. - I was just taking
with Mason and Phil.Copy !req
364. We may have found a cure
for old rutabaga.Copy !req
365. This flower,
the Dendrobium orchid,Copy !req
366. it must be the cure.
- All right.Copy !req
367. Where can we find
one of these tropical beauties?Copy !req
368. - Oh! Oh!
- Tough to say.Copy !req
369. They're found throughout
the Philippines, Borneo,Copy !req
370. Australia, New Guinea.Copy !req
371. - We could never get there
in time.Copy !req
372. - Right over here!
Right over here!Copy !req
373. Would you look?Copy !req
374. - The orchid!
- It's in the florist's shop.Copy !req
375. - Huh.
Who'd have thunk it?Copy !req
376. - Hey.Copy !req
377. I am peeking a boo.Copy !req
378. - Hello!Copy !req
379. - Stop it!
I just want to be left alone.Copy !req
380. Everyone's so—Copy !req
381. - Touchy? Mushy?
Royal?Copy !req
382. No, that last one
would just be me.Copy !req
383. - Snack?
- And checkers.Copy !req
384. I don't even know how to play,Copy !req
385. so letting you win
should be easy.Copy !req
386. - Whoa!
- Hey, how about a footsy rub?Copy !req
387. Huh? Or maybeCopy !req
388. you would like to wear
the royal crown.Copy !req
389. - You're bugging me to death.Copy !req
390. - Mort, you should know better
than to do the bugging...Copy !req
391. To death.Copy !req
392. - But I did not do the "D" word.Copy !req
393. Is this not the best day
you've ever hadCopy !req
394. in your whole short,
miserable...Copy !req
395. uh, happy life?Copy !req
396. - My wh—Copy !req
397. - Target in sight, skipper.Copy !req
398. - Attack stack man.Copy !req
399. It's locked.Copy !req
400. - Private, looks like
you'll get your chanceCopy !req
401. to volunteer after all.Copy !req
402. I believe now I know why
"volunteers" ends in "teers."Copy !req
403. - Ugh!Copy !req
404. This place is impenetrable.Copy !req
405. - Kowalski, more options,
less excuses.Copy !req
406. Hmm.Copy !req
407. - I got to admit,
this is pretty nice.Copy !req
408. - So then you might say this
is the best day of your life?Copy !req
409. - Sure.
Okay.Copy !req
410. But this throne is a little hard
when you sit on it for long.Copy !req
411. - I bring the pillows.Copy !req
412. Yeah, here's some cushy
for the tushy.Copy !req
413. - No, that's not
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
414. What I need is—
- More pillows.Copy !req
415. Hey, comfy now?Copy !req
416. - Yeah, dandy.Copy !req
417. Please stop!Copy !req
418. That "working" was hard.Copy !req
419. - Whoa!Copy !req
420. - What was
that splishy-splash sound?Copy !req
421. - Right on target.Copy !req
422. Steady, steady.Copy !req
423. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
424. Oh!Copy !req
425. Oh!Copy !req
426. Oh!Copy !req
427. - Man down.Copy !req
428. Pull him out of there!Copy !req
429. - The security around
that orchid is insidious.Copy !req
430. Why are you staring at me
with your beaks frozenCopy !req
431. in sickly grimace?Copy !req
432. - Okay, I've had enough
of this.Copy !req
433. I want to go to bed.Copy !req
434. I'm dead tired.Copy !req
435. - No, do not be saying that.Copy !req
436. No sleeping or lying down
of any sort,Copy !req
437. especially not the "dead" sort.Copy !req
438. You—you need to be shaking
your groovy thing.Copy !req
439. - Are you kidding—Copy !req
440. - Be shutting up
and getting down.Copy !req
441. - Ready for Operation Corsage.Copy !req
442. - Then let's go to the prom.Copy !req
443. Nailed it.Copy !req
444. Now just a little—
no, back.Copy !req
445. To your left. Right.Copy !req
446. Up. Down.Copy !req
447. No, your other down.Copy !req
448. Maybe a curlicue.Copy !req
449. - Skipper, we've got it.Copy !req
450. - Good work, Private.Copy !req
451. - Fine. Do it the easy way.Copy !req
452. - Work that booty.Copy !req
453. - I can't. I just can't.Copy !req
454. - Yes, you can, Maurice.Copy !req
455. The beat won't stop,
so neither should—Copy !req
456. - Why?Copy !req
457. He has so much to live for.
Look at him.Copy !req
458. So much more booty shaking
to do.Copy !req
459. So much more getting things done
and doing things for me.Copy !req
460. - We're—we're too late.Copy !req
461. - Oh. He's still breathing.Copy !req
462. Quite loudly.Copy !req
463. Okay, I've had it.Copy !req
464. Everybody's been bugging me
all day longCopy !req
465. and keeping me up all night.Copy !req
466. I'm fed up!
What's going on?Copy !req
467. - Part mammal,
this document addressed to youCopy !req
468. informed us that you were dying
from awful saliva.Copy !req
469. - Your one hope
was the Dendrobium Orchid.Copy !req
470. - What?
- No need to thank us.Copy !req
471. All in a night's work.Copy !req
472. - Maurice.Copy !req
473. Another junk fax came for you.Copy !req
474. "Maurice, you have
only 24 hours to liveCopy !req
475. the life of your dreams
on the island of Ofu-Olosega."Copy !req
476. - Hey, that's the home
of the Dendrobium Orchid.Copy !req
477. - Whatever.
- Oh.Copy !req
478. - Oh, thank goodness
you're being okay.Copy !req
479. Oh, I was so worried.Copy !req
480. I was catering
to your every need.Copy !req
481. I fed you all my yummies,Copy !req
482. even my walnuts.Copy !req
483. And you—you are the one
who got me these.Copy !req
484. Oh, hating them.Copy !req
485. - You thought I only had
24 hours to live?Copy !req
486. - Yes, and now I am giving you
only 24 hours to liveCopy !req
487. after what you've
put me through.Copy !req
488. - So it was all
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
489. - The best kind
of misunderstanding:Copy !req
490. fueled by tragedy
but loaded with high jinks.Copy !req
491. - Oh, well.Copy !req
492. On the bright side,
Rico's set for the prom.Copy !req