1. - Cute and cuddly, boys.
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2. - Waddle, waddle, tip.
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3. Waddle, waddle, kick, spin.
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4. - Slap a smile on that face,
Private.
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5. Rico, it's a waddle,
not a strut.
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6. - Dig it, baby.
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7. - Feed the penguins fish buckets
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8. are completely sold out,
Skipper.
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9. - Let's give 'em a reason
to toss that tuna, boys.
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10. Converge.
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11. - Eh, maybe the polar bears
got some new material.
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12. - The polar bear?
Pfff.
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13. Sure, he's the biggest carnivore
on land,
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14. but can he do this?
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15. - They're gone, Kowalski,
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16. and that ain't gonna
bring 'em back.
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17. - This is even less
than yesterday.
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18. - Well, clearly,
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19. the people have become immune
to our adorable antics.
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20. I blame the internet with its
plethora of cheap puppy videos.
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21. - But—but—
I need my fish!
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22. - And you'll get your fish.
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23. We just need to step up
our cute and cuddly game.
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24. Kowalski, options.
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25. - I'd say this problem needs
a fat serving
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26. of cold, hard science.
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27. - Yes, because nothing's cuter
than science.
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28. Fine.
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29. Well, it hums.
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30. I like that in a device.
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31. - Well, that hum is
the motion capture nodes
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32. tracking the subject's
cuteness levels.
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33. And I shall call it
the adorablizer.
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34. - Humming and a name
that ends in -izer:
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35. even I'm geeking out.
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36. - Now, let's check your natural
irresistibility levels.
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37. Do something, you know, cute.
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38. - Yeah, okay, that would be
more acute...
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39. psychosis.
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40. - Let's embrace the obvious.
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41. - Impressive.
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42. Even without trying,
you're at 48% cuteness.
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43. - Yay!
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44. - 52%.
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45. - 52% cute is still 48% fail.
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46. Now flap and hop for me.
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47. Flap it like a pretty songbird.
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48. - Cut waggle angle to 32%.
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49. - Go boom!
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50. Again!
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51. - Ooh!
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52. - Doe eyes.
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53. Now blink 'em.
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54. Bat 'em.
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55. Bat 'em like a babe.
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56. - I can't push it
any cuter, Skipper.
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57. - Dig deep, man.
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58. What doesn't kill you
only makes you more adorable.
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59. - Now imagine a unicorn
hugging a baby duckling
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60. under a rainbow!
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61. We're red-lining, Skipper.
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62. 100% adorability!
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63. Cute mission accomplished.
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64. Stand down.
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65. Private?
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66. Private?
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67. Private!
Cut the cute!
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68. - Skipper, what happened?
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69. - Kowalski, talk to me.
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70. - It appears
Private has discovered
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71. some sort
of quantum hypercute:
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72. 132% adorability.
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73. - Wow!
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74. - Is that even possible?
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75. - Scientifically, no.
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76. - Way to stick it
to science, Private.
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77. Now let's go cute us up
some fish.
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78. - Hey!
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79. - Steady...
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80. and deploy hypercute!
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81. - Boosh!
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82. Aw!
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83. - Wow.
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84. - Uh, situation report?
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85. Anyone?
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86. - Yeah, uh...
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87. - Hey, what's up, neighbor?
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88. I was stopping by to permanently
borrow your—
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89. I saw nothing of this.
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90. Maurice is the only witness.
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91. Quick, silence him
while I flee into hiding
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92. on a Pennsylvania dairy farm.
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93. - Relax, Ringtail.
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94. I'm sure the people are fine.
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95. See?
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96. - Oh, you have bemagicked them.
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97. Tell me, who among you
is the dark wizard?
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98. - That guy.
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99. - I was trying this new
little thing I can do—
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100. you know, kind of a little...
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101. boosh!
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102. - Whoa, look out!
Too cute.
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103. Too cute.
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104. Aw!
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105. - Of course, it's exactly
what happened to the machine.
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106. Their brains have overloaded
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107. from too much penguin
adorability.
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108. - Finally, the dream
of a thousand generations
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109. of penguins has come true.
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110. We have weaponized cuteness.
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111. - But, Skipper, I can't go
knocking people out willy-nilly
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112. with a bat of the eyelashes.
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113. - You totally can.
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114. - If this power fell
into the wrong hands,
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115. it could be devastating.
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116. Still, no sense letting
all this fish go to waste.
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117. - Fiiiiiish!
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118. - Ease that troubled conscience,
Private.
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119. What we have discovered this day
is a weapon of last resorts,
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120. for only the most
dire emergencies.
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121. - What in the world?
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122. - Emergency!
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123. - Ah!
Boosh!
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124. - Why am I smiling?
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125. Aw!
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126. - Ooh, effective!
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127. Come on, let's do
some more field tests!
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128. - But you said it was
only for dire emergencies.
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129. - Let's not live
in the past, Private.
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130. Move out!
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131. - Hey, yo, Bing,
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132. you order those bananas to go?
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133. - Never joke about the bananas.
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134. - Fruitjackers!
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135. I'd say this looks
like an emergency.
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136. Emergency!
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137. - Boosh!
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138. - Ah, my eyes have seen through
the lies of your pointy mouths!
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139. You do have the magic,
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140. and I demand to know
your sorcerous secrets.
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141. - Honestly, Julien,
it's only—
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142. - Trying to steal our
classified cuteness secrets.
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143. Emergency, Private.
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144. - Couldn't we just
talk this out?
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145. - Emergency!
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146. - Now, hold on a—
- Boosh!
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147. - Aw.
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148. - Anyone else loving this?
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149. - Big time.
- Woo-hoo!
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150. - Settle down, kids.
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151. Nap time.
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152. - But I am not feeling
the tired.
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153. - Emergency!
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154. - Well, I hardly think
this qualifies—
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155. - Ah!
- Boosh!
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156. Aw!
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157. - Okay, the magic seems
to be coming from
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158. the little round penguin's face.
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159. - Uh-oh.
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160. The Skipper one
has spotted me.
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161. - What's he doing?
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162. - He's pointing this way
and saying something
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163. that looks like "emergency."
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164. - Boosh!
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165. - Aw.
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166. - Boys, this quantum
hypercute weapon
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167. is the dawn
of a brand-new day.
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168. - Skipper, I'm really not
comfortable with—
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169. - Speaking of day,
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170. I'm pretty sure
the zoo's now open.
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171. Shouldn't we be
in stealth mode?
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172. - Why?
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173. - Emergency!
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174. - Ah!
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175. Boosh!
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176. - Skipper—
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177. - If we can hold the monopoly
on this adorable technique—
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178. emergency!
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179. - Ah!
Boosh!
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180. - We could completely eliminate
the zoo crime rate in—
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181. emergency!
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182. - Ah!
Boosh!
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183. - Less than six months, tops.
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184. - Skipper, I need to talk to—
- Hey, guys.
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185. Guys, you'll never believe
what I just saw over in the—
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186. - Emergency!
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187. - Ah!
Boosh!
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188. - Aw.
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189. - What?
How is Marlene an emergency?
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190. - Private, I can smell a boring
anecdote from 1.6 clicks away.
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191. - B-b-but that's just—
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192. - Ha-ha!
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193. This is how I laugh in triumph
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194. because I have puzzled out
your wizarding trickery.
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195. It's the cute one, right?
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196. Guess what.
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197. We have one of those guys too.
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198. - Face race!
Ready?
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199. - Now, Mort!
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200. Magic their faces
with tiny cuteness!
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201. - You call that cute?
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202. I've sneezed out
cuter things than that.
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203. - They're closing
the cuteness gap, Skipper.
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204. - Emergency!
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205. Emergency.
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206. Emergency.
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207. Emergency!
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208. - No.
- What?
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209. - I won't do it.
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210. Not now, not ever again.
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211. - This is insubordination,
soldier.
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212. You really want this weapon
to fall into the wrong hands?
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213. - Don't you see, Skipper?
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214. We are the wrong hands.
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215. - Huh?
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216. - We're already dropping
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217. the quantum hypercute
on our own friends.
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218. The world's flipped topsy-turvy,
and I'm the flipper.
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219. - Gotcha!
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220. Private, slap yourself.
- No.
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221. - I can't even keep them
in their habitat anymore.
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222. I'm telling you, these birds
need to be in higher security.
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223. I'm calling Hoboken.
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224. Monster!
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225. - You can't take them?
Really?
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226. Well, what do you suggest?
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227. There's a supermax zoo?
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228. Coboken?
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229. Oh, Copenhagen.
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230. - Denmark!
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231. - Hey, let me round up
some shipping crates.
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232. - Private, if ever a crisis
called for cute force,
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233. this is that crisis.
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234. - No, I swore I'd never use my
adorability as a weapon again,
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235. and I meant it.
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236. - Then you leave me no choice.
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237. - Kowalski, you too?
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238. I thought you agreed
this was a dangerous weapon.
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239. - Which is the best kind!
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240. What good is a safe weapon?
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241. - He has a point.
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242. - Now, are you gonna use
your quantum cute on Alice,
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243. or do you want Rico
to get cute on you?
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244. - Neither.
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245. Oof!
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246. - Engage blocky hamster ball
pursuit!
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247. Kowalski, left flank.
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248. Box him in and—
oof!
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249. Submit, Private!
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250. It's the only way!
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251. - Never.
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252. You've taken something wonderful
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253. and twisted it
to your own selfish ends.
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254. - Denmark, Private.
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255. You know why
I can't go back there.
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256. - No, I don't.
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257. You never told me.
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258. - Oh, my gosh!
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259. Look at the penguins.
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260. - They're like little
penguin hamster balls.
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261. That's the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
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262. - They think they're people.
- Aw.
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263. - Never seen anything cuter
in my whole life.
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264. - You!
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265. I don't know how
you got out again,
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266. but I've got a one-way crate
to Copenhagen
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267. with your names on it.
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268. - Boo!
- Come on!
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269. - That doesn't even make
any sense!
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270. - You can't take the penguins!
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271. - Fine.
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272. We'll keep the maniacs.
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273. Bah, whatever.
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274. - Eh? Eh?
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275. - Can't believe it.
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276. We weren't even trying.
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277. - Never underestimate
the simple power
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278. of penguin irresistibility.
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279. You win, Private.
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280. I guess you can put the quantum
hypercute out of commission.
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281. - Done.
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282. - And may its
intoxicating preciousness
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283. never be seen again.
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284. - Anything yet?
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285. - Well, I'm feeling
kind of queasy.
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286. Oh, I cuted!
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287. - And if you refer to visual aid
number 422/B,
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288. you can plainly see
another critical operation
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289. being compromised by a certain
group of zoo animals
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290. who shall remain nameless.
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291. - Lemurs.
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292. It's the lemurs.
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293. - And so I would like
to formally make a motion
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294. that these certain
unspecified zoo animals—
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295. - Lemurs.
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296. - Lemurs.
- Totally the lemurs.
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297. - Be banned from obstructing
any and all
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298. future penguin operations.
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299. - Wait!
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300. I motion to
interrupt your motioning
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301. so that you can see
my own visualizing aids
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302. which clearly show that it was
actually a certain other group
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303. of zoo animals—
I'm not naming any names here—
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304. Penguins.
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305. He means penguins.
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306. - That were compromising
a raging Conga skate party.
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307. - Uh, yeah.
Hi.
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308. Is it absolutely necessary
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309. that you two have
the same exact argument
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310. at every single meeting?
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311. - There must be some way the two
of you can just work it out.
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312. - That's exactly what I'm doing
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313. by officially making a motion
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314. that these certain
unspecified animals...
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315. - Lemurs,
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316. King Julien and the lemurs.
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317. - Be declared a hazard.
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318. - And I am making
my own motions,
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319. motioning that
you be officially declared
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320. the least fun person ever.
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321. - Well, I motion
that you be declared unfit
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322. to call yourself a leader.
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323. - And I motion that
you are the one who is unfit,
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324. and therefore you must commence
the shutting of your beak-hole.
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325. - And I motion that you
wouldn't last a single day
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326. running my squad.
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327. - I motion that you admit
that you would not last
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328. even one single day as king.
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329. - All in favor
of Skipper and King Julien
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330. trading places for one day
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331. and thus each gaining
a greater mutual respect,
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332. learning to appreciate
each other,
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333. blah blah blah,
so on and so forth,
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334. say aye.
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335. Aye!
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336. - Very well.
The motion carries.
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337. Meeting adjourned.
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338. - Wait, what motion?
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339. - Zoo people say what?
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340. Maurice, Mort,
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341. I command you to obey
this smelly water bird
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342. as your king
for the next 24 hours.
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343. - Uh, okay.
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344. - Or at least until
he comes crying to me
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345. for help like a little baby.
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346. Goo-goo.
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347. - Men,
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348. Ringtail is
your commanding officer now.
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349. I expect you to obey his every
command for the next day...
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350. - Aye, aye,
our once and future Skipper.
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351. - Or until the humiliation
of failure causes him to crack,
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352. in which case, mutiny is
the obvious and welcome choice.
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353. - Good luck trying to be king.
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354. You are going to be needing it.
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355. - Luck is for leprechauns,
Ringtail.
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356. - Good morning,
commander Julien, sir.
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357. Breakfast is served.
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358. - Ugh.
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359. Uh, you're kidding, right?
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360. I mean, this is some kind
of army joke, right?
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361. You are playing army funnies
on the new guy, right?
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362. - Delicious and nutritious,
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363. with just a tangy hint
of mercury.
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364. - Fish!
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365. - Give it a try, king ju—
Commander Julien, sir.
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366. You might like it.
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367. - Well, maybe just
one tiny—ugh!
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368. It's on my tongue!
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369. Get it off my tongue!
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370. Get it off!
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371. - Huh.
That's funny.
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372. Skipper eats four of those
every morning.
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373. - Oh, that is funny.
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374. And do you know why?
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375. Because any real leader guy
would have five.
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376. Serve them up.
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377. - Fish!
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378. Fish!
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379. - Yeah, that's right.
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380. Keep 'em coming,
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381. and don't be stingy with the—
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382. Get the smell off my tongue!
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383. Please get it off!
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384. Get it off!
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385. - Attention, lemurs.
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386. Fall in.
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387. Maurice, report.
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388. - Uh, report?
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389. Report on what?
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390. - Everything.
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391. Give me mission status
briefings
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392. for all of your current
lemur operations.
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393. - Lemur what?
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394. - We don't really do that here,
King Skipper, sir.
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395. - What does King Julien
usually do
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396. the first thing
in the morning?
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397. - Well, we would probably
just be having breakfast.
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398. - Perfect.
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399. Operation break the fast
has officially commenced.
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400. Maurice, options.
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401. - Fruit or fruit smoothie.
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402. - Or mango!
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403. - Which is also fruit.
- Oh.
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404. - And that pretty much concludes
the complete tour
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405. of the H.Q. facility,
King Julien, sir.
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406. - Except, of course,
the classified security areas.
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407. - Classified areas,
you are saying?
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408. As in tippy-top secret areas?
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409. - What?
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410. Skipper said
he was our commander.
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411. - Yes,
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412. and my first command is
to command you
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413. to take me to these
tippy-top secret places.
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414. - The elevator can be accessed
through that control panel.
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415. - Ooh, buttons.
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416. - No, wait!
Not those!
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417. - Stop!
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418. Those buttons control—
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419. - Anti-intruder measures—
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420. - And booby traps.
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421. - Eh, this one's
kind of sticking.
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422. - Oh!
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423. - Yeah, there we go.
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424. That's what I'm talking about.
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425. You see that
a bird Skipper
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426. isn't doing nearly
as bang-up a job
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427. at being me
as I am at being him.
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428. - Now what should I be doing?
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429. - Well, King Julien
would probably just be plopped
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430. on his throne by now.
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431. - That's it.
I need action.
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432. There must be something Ringtail
does that I could do better.
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433. - Feet!
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434. Webbed.
Oh, that's new.
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435. - This is when king Julien
would kick him off.
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436. - Seems cruel and excessive.
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437. - Oh, yeah.
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438. One time, he kicked him
to Burt's place.
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439. - The pachyderm habitat?
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440. Weak.
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441. I bet I could hit 63rd and Lex.
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442. Watch this.
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443. - Whee!
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444. - My car!
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445. My kingly self is in the zone.
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446. - The high-security sections
are broken down
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447. into subterranean levels
1 through 12.
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448. - Hm.
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449. - Very nice.
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450. - Ay-yi-yi.
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451. Which of the levels would be the
most tippy-toppy secret then?
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452. Would it be 11?
No, 12, right?
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453. - Yup.
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454. - Except, of course,
for hidden level 13.
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455. But that's so secret even—
- Close it!
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456. - What?
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457. He's in charge now.
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458. Ding!
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459. - Those are my untested
inventions!
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460. Don't touch anything!
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461. - Oh, toys!
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462. Good job, Private.
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463. - Hey, Mason.
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464. So any buzz on how
the old Swaparoo's working out?
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465. - Hmm, I say—
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466. - Hold that thought.
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467. I smell it...
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468. like a sugar wind.
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469. Could it be...
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470. it is!
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471. It's cotton candy!
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472. It's cotton candy
in the park, okay?
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473. I saw it, I smelled it,
and I want it.
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474. We need to get Skipper on it
right away.
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475. - Yes, that might be
a bit of a problem.
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476. - Check out the booty!
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477. Who's shaking?
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478. Who's quaking?
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479. Who is not faking?
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480. - Wow.
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481. What is that?
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482. No school?
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483. 'cause it ain't old school,
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484. and it ain't new school.
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485. But look what I found in your
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486. top-secret-even-you-don't-know-
it's-down-there level 13.
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487. Freaky secret thingy!
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488. - It's my sonic
subparticle velocitizer,
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489. and it's not a toy!
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490. Whoa!
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491. - Oh, really?
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492. Then why is it so much fun then?
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493. - You let him on level 13?
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494. - And I used your toothbrush.
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495. - All right, stop.
Enough!
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496. Skipper, you have got
a big, important mission.
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497. - I do?
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498. - Yes!
The cotton candy man is coming!
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499. - Me?
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500. Oh, no, no, no, no.
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501. I'm king of the lemurs.
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502. I think you need to see
the penguin C.O. over there.
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503. - Ha!
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504. Do I look as cool
as I feel with this thing?
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505. Be honest.
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506. - Please?
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507. It's cotton—
it's cotton candy.
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508. - Well, sure.
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509. All Ringtail has to do
is admit
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510. that he is in no way
leader material.
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511. - In your dreams, flipper boy.
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512. I shall lead this cotton candy
mission myself.
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513. Come on, boys.
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514. I'm not seeing
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515. a lot of pink, sugary
goodness in your future.
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516. - Maybe not,
but if he does pull it off,
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517. that'll make him
a successful Skipper.
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518. - As king of the lemurs,
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519. I decree that
ain't gonna happen.
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520. The sugar express is about
to leave the station.
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521. Mort, you're on lookout.
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522. Maurice, I need you to go
bypass the electric circuit.
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523. - I have no idea
what you just said.
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524. - He's crazy.
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525. - It's no good.
I need—
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526. - Kowalski, Private, Rico!
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527. - Well, yes, but—
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528. - No, I mean, here they come!
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529. With King Julien!
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530. And they're on...
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531. pogo sticks?
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532. - Look out!
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533. - Pogo sticks?
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534. Why pogo sticks?
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535. - I told him
he could ask for options.
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536. Uh-oh.
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537. - Skipper!
The wall!
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538. - Kowalski, more options!
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539. - The velocitizer!
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540. - Here, mort.
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541. Prepare for the kicking.
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542. - Let Skipper.
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543. - Hi-ya!
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544. - Whaaaaaa!
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545. - Huh?
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546. Wha?
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547. - You actually did it,
Ringtail.
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548. - Me?
What about that kingly kick?
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549. I would say that you did it.
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550. - You know,
maybe there's something
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551. to this whole kooky
role reversal.
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552. - And I motion
that we officially ban you
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553. from leaving your habitat
between the hours of—
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554. - And I am motioning that
we officially ban your face!
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555. - Or, you know, maybe not.
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