The Penguins of Madagascar 2x14

Directed by

Victoria Justice as Stacy (voice) • Jennette McCurdy as Becky (voice)

Private wants to be friends with a group of badgers... until they threaten to hurt Marlene.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Gentlemen, we are a go-ho-ho.

2. - I can't believe it's here!

3. - All right, people.

4. Time to jangle the jingles and Kris the Kringles.

5. We are T-minus 14 hours to Kidsmas.

6. - Mr. Skipper penguin,

7. is the Kidsmas really here?

8. - You bet your tiny derriere.

9. - But not till morning.

10. - So skedaddle those eager britches on home now.

11. Aww! - No peeking.

12. - Excuse me? Hi.

13. So Kidsmas—I'm confused.

14. This relates to Christmas how, exactly?

15. - Kowalski, get the reptile up to speed.

16. - Well, Roger, every year, the Central Park Zoo closes

17. from Christmas Eve to the morning of December 26th.

18. - Also known as Boxing Day. - We're not interested

19. in your made-up holidays, Private.

20. - Ooh. - We take advantage

21. of this human-free environment

22. to throw a mondo Christmas fiesta

23. for the animal families of Central Park,

24. an event we like to call— - Kidsmas!

25. Kidsmas! - Kidsmas!

26. - Tomorrow morning.

27. - Oh. Aww.

28. - You know the drill, people,

29. so open those assignment cards.

30. And let's go make this the best Kidsmas ever.

31. - Hey, watch out. - Excuse us.

32. Royalty coming through. - Hello?

33. Who do I give a talking at if my job is stupid

34. and lame? - Lame?

35. Children love the gingerbread house.

36. - Yes, they also love finding crusty things

37. in their own noses. - Mine had a kazoo.

38. - I am a king.

39. I demand the most important of all the Kidsmas tasks.

40. - Demand denied.

41. Kidsmas is a well-oiled machine

42. with years of tradition.

43. Mason always dresses up as zoo Santa.

44. - Burt makes his famous peanut nog.

45. - The secret ingredient is peanuts.

46. - And so on.

47. We're not swapping assignments

48. the night before the big event.

49. End of story. - Oh, really?

50. What happened to the freedom of changing?

51. What happened to the rights of the peoples?

52. I thought this was France!

53. - America. - No, really.

54. I seriously thought this was France.

55. I've been looking for some decent crepes

56. for, like, three months.

57. - Yo, hey. The little guy's got a point.

58. - Yeah, I'm sick of doing the same job every year.

59. - Yes, the pressure of the lead role is rather brutal.

60. - Yeah, different.

61. - We're on an overnight deadline, people.

62. There's no time to— - Yes!

63. Let's mixy-mix the Kidsmas.

64. - Hey!

65. - Hey, music. That's perfect for me.

66. - All right! I'm on decorations!

67. - No way. Me too. Look!

68. - Best committee ever.

69. - Smashing! I'm on decorations.

70. - No way. Me too. Look!

71. - Best committee ever.

72. - No. Lame.

73. Blah. Double blah.

74. Eh, yes. Yes.

75. I will find the Christmassy tree!

76. Truly there is no job more important than—

77. - Santa! - What?

78. Who's playing Santa? - You are, Skipper.

79. It's the last one left. You didn't even pick,

80. and you got the most important job of all.

81. How lucky is that?

82. - Most... important...

83. - Me? Play the big red himself?

84. - And I'm your jolly little elf.

85. Ooh! - Negative.

86. This is holiday anarchy.

87. We go down this road, there won't even be a Kidsmas.

88. - No... Kidsmas?

89. - Hey, you weren't supposed to hear that.

90. I'm just...

91. you know what anarchy is, don't you, kids?

92. We've only got one night and...

93. chins up, soldiers. I've got it covered.

94. - Yeah, we should go total rock and roll this year,

95. like sled jumps and flash pots

96. and ski punk snowmen who are like, "What's up?"

97. - Yeah! - We should go

98. completely Charles Dickens this year.

99. - Top hats, monocles, unimpeachable etiquette.

100. Kids love etiquette.

101. - See? Nothing to worry about.

102. It's Kidsmas.

103. Santa magic will take care of everything.

104. - Santa magic?

105. - It is a thrill to be on the music committee with you guys,

106. so let's warm up a little bit, shall we?

107. - Private.

108. 86 that caterwaul.

109. Curse you, internet.

110. 28,000 cat videos, zero useful information.

111. - We wish you a meowy Christmas.

112. I'm sorry, Skipper, but it's just one party.

113. Do you need the real Santa magic?

114. - If Mr. Tub of Jolly has some sparkly mystic secret,

115. I need to find it ASAP.

116. - Then we should ask Santa. He'd know.

117. Don't get up. I'll do it for you.

118. - Good thinking, young Private. Let's slide.

119. - So I'm thinking the eastern white pine.

120. Or maybe you're more of a Douglas fir guy.

121. That's cool.

122. - Norway spruce?

123. - Must I... Even louder for you, Maurice?

124. It is not the flavor of the tree that is the problem.

125. It is the not-importance of it.

126. - I thought tree choosing was the most importantest job.

127. - Yeah, it was, until the frowny flat-head penguin

128. got the better one.

129. Now we must find the amazingest tree

130. in the history of Kidsmas.

131. - You really think we can find a tree like that?

132. - Hey, this is New York City, baby, the capital of France.

133. If you can't find it here, you cannot be finding it anywhere.

134. - I will find the amazing tree, King Julien.

135. Ah! Oh-ho.

136. Is this one amazing?

137. - Jolly old Saint Nick in sight.

138. Now show me your secrets, magic man.

139. - I don't understand, Skipper. - Yes. Why the bell ringing?

140. And a tip jar? That just seems crass.

141. - No. I mean, I don't understand

142. why there are two of them.

143. - What? Sweet secret service.

144. He's got a body double.

145. That must be some primo magic he's protecting.

146. - Look! They're leaving.

147. - Blast! No time to I.D. Which one's the phony.

148. Private, pin the tail on the Santa Bravo.

149. I'm on the Alpha Claus.

150. - Whoa!

151. - Huh!

152. - Ugh!

153. - Hey!

154. - Oh! Ooh!

155. - Look, sweetie. It's Santa.

156. Ahh!

157. - Hey!

158. - Never mind, Mort.

159. Your face tried, but the glass just wanted it more.

160. - I'm tapped out, Your Majesty.

161. We've seen real trees,

162. fake trees... - Toiletries.

163. - And you keep turning up your nose at all of them.

164. - Because none is amazing enough

165. to beat the Santa penguin.

166. I need a tree that sits up, smacks your pointy face,

167. and says, "Christmas!"

168. - This one says it in 17 languages.

169. Beep! - Merry Christmas.

170. Feliz Navidad.

171. Mele Kalikimaka me ka hau'oli Makahiki Hou.

172. I found it.

173. The amazing tree!

174. I know it is small and ugly,

175. but if somebody was nice to it and loved it,

176. it could grow up to be a beautiful swan,

177. and that is the true meaning of Chinese New Year.

178. - Christmas. - What's a "Christmas"?

179. - That tree is perfect.

180. Now move the puny ug tree so I can get a good look at it.

181. - Ya...

182. - Choppity, choppity, chopping.

183. Ah!

184. Mmm. Minty.

185. Ooh!

186. - Private, I thought I put you on Santa surveillance duty.

187. - I was, Skipper. He went in there.

188. - Impossible.

189. My Santa went in there.

190. Why even have a body double

191. if you're just gonna hang out in the same room?

192. - About that, isn't it a bit fishy

193. that Santa's just strolling about on Christmas Eve

194. with no reindeer or sleigh?

195. And he's using an elevator?

196. - Both fakes?

197. Then how are those two phony Papa Noels

198. tied in to this mysterious disappearance?

199. - Wait. Santa disappeared?

200. - You haven't seen him, have you?

201. - Well, no, but—

202. You don't think—

203. - No! I act, with maximum force.

204. Ha! Ha-ha!

205. Initiate takedown protocol Foxtrot, Private.

206. You get the first one. I'll handle...

207. Oh, sugar plums.

208. - Skipper? - Wind-up monkey misdirect.

209. Execute.

210. - Oh-ho. Cute toys. You know where I could pick up

211. a couple for my kid? - Okay,

212. I'll take the lead voice; you'll take the ostinato.

213. The ding-dongs.

214. What is going on here?

215. Ah, excuse me, fellas.

216. We're on kind of a tight schedule here, and I—

217. - So shut it, already.

218. We're trying to write a Kidsmas tune here.

219. - Hey, yo, Bing,

220. you got a rhyme for "yellow snow"?

221. - Okay, how about—what?

222. Backing off.

223. - Rock and roll, Rico. Just a few hours till daylight,

224. and the zoo's only halfway decorated.

225. - Pardon me, I was just...

226. - Uh, guys, what are you doing?

227. - Our jobs, obviously.

228. - Decorating in 19th-century Dickensian regalia.

229. - Whoa, whoa, okay, first,

230. we're the decorations committee.

231. Second, uh, Dickens? Yeah.

232. Did you get a visit from the ghost of Christmas

233. "been there, done that"? - No, no, no.

234. We are the decorations committee,

235. and at least our ideas didn't come from the pages

236. of "Winter Hooligan Monthly."

237. - Hey! How did he know that?

238. - Hmm. I guess we were all supposed to work together, huh?

239. - No problem. We can clear your junk out in no time.

240. - I say humbug to you, sir.

241. Humbug. Humbug. Hum-bug!

242. - Guys, guys, obviously there's a difference in styles here,

243. but come on. It's Christmas.

244. There's nothing we can't fix with a little peace,

245. love, and togetherness.

246. - You know what? I'm sorry.

247. - Tut-tut, old bean. Think nothing of it.

248. - Aww. Okay, great.

249. So how do we solve this?

250. - Let's say... elephant rules.

251. - Uh, okay.

252. What are elephant rules?

253. Cheerio.

254. - Rico, my man, this otter's about to join

255. the naughty list.

256. - Not the sleigh! Hey!

257. - Hey, not a bad charity haul this year.

258. Merry Christmas, guys.

259. Merry Christmas!

260. - Huh?

261. Ow! Ow! Ow! Wow. What?

262. robotic voice: Where is Santa Claus?

263. - Is this some kind of joke? Esposito, is that you?

264. - Do we really have time for conspiracies, Skipper?

265. - You promised the children the zoo would be ready for Kidsmas.

266. - Santa magic, Private.

267. We get that, and we're walking

268. in a winter wonderland.

269. robotic voice: Where are you anti-yule radicals

270. holding Santa and his magic?

271. - Hey, seriously, where am I?

272. robotic voice: You are on the bus to Pain-Sylvania.

273. Ha. Ha. Ha.

274. - I'm a lumberjack.

275. Argh, matey.

276. - Hey, somebody's stealing the big tree.

277. Not in my city, pal.

278. - Yes. Look at their faces.

279. Punch it.

280. - This is Chuck Charles, and my van has just been stolen

281. along with the city's Christmas tree.

282. - Uh, Chuck... without the van,

283. we're not really broadcasting anything.

284. - I know, but I am no longer

285. able to speak in a normal voice.

286. - Ooh!

287. - The real Santa must have escaped,

288. and the imposters are trying to haul him back in.

289. Execute mobile rescue op.

290. - But, Skipper, the zoo.

291. Kidsmas. - Follow the magic, Private.

292. Remember the winter wonderland plan.

293. - Ah! Ooh.

294. Uh-huh. - Ooh, a plan. Good.

295. What did he say?

296. Wha!

297. - Pow! Pow! Pow!

298. - Oh!

299. - We're losing more plywood men by the second.

300. - Hold your ground!

301. We all knew there would be causalities.

302. Ugh!

303. They got Tiny Tim.

304. - You may strike our decorations,

305. but you shall never conquer the spirit

306. of Charles Dickens.

307. - And his razor-brimmed top hat!

308. Yah!

309. - Actually, I don't believe

310. Dickens had a razor-brimmed hat.

311. - Learn your history, chimp.

312. - Ah!

313. We're being high-speed chased.

314. - Quick, more clutch.

315. - Whoa!

316. Ah!

317. Ugh!

318. - Whoa! Ugh!

319. - Ah!

320. - Ooh!

321. - Imposters dispatched.

322. Now let's go rescue the genuine one and only Santa.

323. - Santa?

324. - Ringtail? - Santa!

325. - Tree! - Animals?

326. - Confused. - Potato.

327. - Abandon van. We must save the tree.

328. - Wha—whoa!

329. - What in the name of Good King Wenceslas are you—

330. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.

331. - Ow, why would you—

332. - Are you sure we're not too early?

333. - Ugh. Welcome to our Kidsmas

334. Winter Fun-derland.

335. - Forsooth, the lass doth mean our Dickensian celebration of—

336. - Ah! Party! - You know what?

337. Maybe we'll just come back on a different holiday.

338. - No, no, no. It's okay. Really, really.

339. We got big fun ahead. I mean, we got music.

340. - And games! We've got games.

341. - Who wants first go at the Santa piñata?

342. Yah!

343. - You call this a children's party?

344. - Unbelievable!

345. - We're leaving. - Wait! We haven't even

346. decorated the Christmas tree yet.

347. - Um, I'd like to go home now.

348. - Eh, what?

349. Somebody want to tell me

350. what in the Jack Frost is going on here?

351. - Well, Skipper, it seems some people don't appreciate

352. the finer decorating arts.

353. - And some people are suffering

354. from chronic boring disorder.

355. - Oh, snap! - And some people wrecked

356. my completely awesome Christmassy tree.

357. - You were one of those people.

358. - I was deliberately being vague.

359. Didn't I warn you people?

360. I can't leave you alone for one night without a...

361. - Huh?

362. - You said this would be the best Kidsmas.

363. You promised.

364. - Oh, man.

365. - We... we ruined Kidsmas.

366. - No, I'm the Santa here.

367. This was on my watch.

368. What have I done?

369. - Well, for starters,

370. you roughed up a dozen of my deputies

371. and helped wreck the world's most famous Christmas tree.

372. And I thought I had a busy night.

373. Hey, Julien.

374. - 'Sup, baby?

375. Yeah, we go way back.

376. - Santa? Real Santa?

377. Those dime store phony Clauses work for you?

378. - They do the charity work. I deliver the toys.

379. Works out great when they're not being karate chopped

380. off a speeding Christmas tree. - We're sorry, Santa.

381. We didn't mean to make such a mess of things.

382. - All I wanted was a tiny taste of that real Santa magic.

383. - Santa magic?

384. But, Skipper, you had that from the beginning.

385. - Really? Then how do I use—

386. - What am I, your guidance counselor?

387. I got to haul toys to seven more time zones.

388. Trust me, you'll figure it out.

389. - What do you suppose he meant? You had it from the beginning?

390. - The beginning. I don't—

391. Of course! - Skipper?

392. - Santa magic... coursing through veins.

393. Feels gingerbready.

394. Follow my lead, people.

395. And can I get some holiday music here?

396. - That would be perfect, except that we haven't practiced

397. as much as we— - Yo. Absolutely.

398. - Santa magic says try it in "G."

399. - Oh, that's pretty.

400. Oh!

401. - Yes.

402. - Yeah!

403. Christmas! - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

404. - You really did it. You found the Santa magic.

405. What was the secret? - No secret, Private.

406. Big Red was right.

407. We had to get back to where this all started:

408. trying to make some kids happy for Christmas.

409. - That's it? Santa magic's just making people happy?

410. - Yeah, seems to work for that guy.

411. Aww.

412. - Merry Christmas, Mr. Skipper penguin.

413. - And to all a good night.

414. - Potato!