The Orville 2x4

1. Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

2. Is something wrong with your uniform, Lieutenant?

3. Well, I went for a jog in the simulator, lost track of time,

4. figured I should get to my shift,

5. but I'll go get changed if you want.

6. Yeah, why don't you go get changed?

7. - All right. - He's got the night shift.

8. He's fine. Tharl, you're fine.

9. Righteous.

10. Mellow alert.

11. You've been very relaxed lately.

12. Why, am I not usually relaxed?

13. No, it's just... you seem a little different.

14. Like, your mood is different.

15. I'm just doing my job, nothing new.

16. Okay.

17. - I mean, I can be more uptight if that... - No, no,

18. it's-it's great to see. In fact,

19. maybe now's a good time to let you know

20. that we've been asked to make a supply run

21. - to Epsilon Five. - Again?

22. God, it seems like all we do lately is deliver supplies.

23. Their synthesizers are down, and we're the closest ship.

24. Yeah, but we're supposed to be out here exploring.

25. Instead, we're the pizza guy.

26. Captain,

27. I finished the dark matter survey you requested.

28. It covers a radius of 25 parsecs.

29. Thank you, Lieutenant.

30. Will there be anything else, sir?

31. That'll be all. Thanks.

32. You know, I think I might knock off early tonight.

33. It's kind of quiet up here.

34. All good. I'll see you in the morning.

35. All right.

36. Here we go.

37. Scotch and popcorn.

38. - Perfect pairing. - Yes.

39. What did I miss?

40. He's still singing with his shirt off.

41. Ah.

42. Oh, this is great right here. Watch this.

43. How many times have you seen this?

44. Uh, a lot.

45. Uh, my parents felt it was important

46. to expose me to the classics. So, yeah.

47. You know, you got to pick a movie some night.

48. I feel like I'm always the one doing it.

49. Well, you're doing good so far.

50. What was that one you showed me about the taxi driver?

51. - Taxi Driver. - Yeah, what was that called?

52. Yeah, it was... it was called Taxi Driver.

53. Oh, right, yeah. I liked that one.

54. Oh, it's chilly in here.

55. It's the environmental controls.

56. I keep telling John he's got to fix 'em.

57. Here you go.

58. Thanks.

59. You know,

60. it's getting harder and harder to keep this quiet.

61. Lieutenant Morris told me today I have a glow.

62. Yeah, Kelly said something similar.

63. I wonder if it's time to be open about it.

64. You know what'd be great?

65. What?

66. We should take a trip.

67. When was the last time you actually had time off?

68. Not since I took command of the Orville.

69. Well, then you're way overdue.

70. And remember, you're dating a cartographer.

71. I know all the best vacation spots.

72. Does sound nice.

73. So, what do you say?

74. Shall we go public?

75. Let me sleep on it?

76. Janel?

77. - Like, Lieutenant Janel? - Yeah.

78. Like, smoking-hot dark matter cartographer Janel?

79. Yeah, I just want to make sure you're okay with it.

80. Yeah. Yeah, no, no. It's-it's all good.

81. 'Cause I know you had a thing for her at one time,

82. - and if it bothers you at all, it's... - Oh, no,

83. dude, it was just a crush.

84. I'm totally good. Okay? To be honest,

85. I've been wanting to see you get back on your feet

86. ever since the divorce, so...

87. if she makes you happy, I love it.

88. Yeah, she does.

89. She's cool, she's smart, she's funny.

90. She-she checks every box.

91. I've never met a woman who checked every box.

92. You said Kelly checked every box.

93. Yeah, well, I got more boxes now. She checks those, too.

94. - Can I add a box? - Sure.

95. Your best friend approves.

96. Thanks, man.

97. Have you guys done it yet?

98. Have... have we done it?

99. You allowed to use that phrase

100. - after the age of 12? - Well, have you?

101. Look, there's something more important

102. I want to talk to you about.

103. I think I'm gonna tell Kelly.

104. Really?

105. Yeah, you think that's a good idea?

106. Well, she's got a guy of her own, anyway,

107. and if you guys are serious,

108. she's gonna find out sooner or later.

109. Yeah, you should tell her.

110. Oh, hey, Captain.

111. Cassius. Is, uh, Kelly here?

112. Yeah.

113. Hey. What's up?

114. Can I talk to you for a second? Won't take long.

115. Yeah, sure.

116. - Do you mind? - Hmm, all good.

117. I have to grade papers anyway.

118. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.

119. - Okay. - Bye.

120. Everything all right?

121. Yeah, it is.

122. Um...

123. I just wanted to be the one to tell you...

124. I'm seeing Janel Tyler.

125. I know.

126. - What? - Come on, really?

127. I see the way you smile when she walks onto the bridge.

128. I know your smiles. You have 15.

129. Three are for happiness. 11 are passive-aggressive.

130. And one is for being in love.

131. I've seen it before, you know.

132. What are you, Jane Goodall?

133. Yeah, and you're the primate.

134. Why didn't you say anything?

135. I figured you would tell me when you were ready.

136. Plus, it's really none of my business.

137. Well, we were thinking of taking a trip.

138. I have some shore leave piled up.

139. Wow. You really do like this woman.

140. Sensoria Two is just a few light-years away.

141. We could hop on a shuttle first thing in the morning.

142. It's no problem.

143. I'll handle the supply run.

144. Thank you.

145. Please, it's just a quick delivery.

146. No, I mean,

147. thank you for being so cool about this.

148. Number four.

149. You okay back there?

150. Forgot my toiletries. Can you believe that?

151. Toothbrush, shaving cream, shampoo, all of it.

152. Synthesize new ones.

153. I-I can't. I have this special floss that I use

154. from Navidian micro-silk.

155. I have very tight spaces between my teeth.

156. - I don't know if you noticed. - No, I hadn't.

157. Come on up here and look at the nebula.

158. Oh, wow, look at that.

159. Isn't that pretty?

160. That is really something.

161. What are we listening to, again?

162. This? This is, uh, Billy Joel.

163. - Earth guy? - Old Earth.

164. Yeah, like 400 years ago.

165. You're not really into that kind of stuff, are you?

166. I'm into anything we do together.

167. Well, you know what, I'm glad we did this.

168. Me too. And I'm relieved

169. Commander Grayson doesn't hate me.

170. No, she does not hate you.

171. In fact, she told me that she...

172. What is it?

173. It's a convoy.

174. About 20,000 kilometers off the starboard bow.

175. Oh, my God.

176. Ed, they're Krill.

177. Yeah. Three marauder-class fighters, closing fast.

178. I'm taking evasive maneuvers. Stand by to cloak.

179. Engage cloak.

180. They're still closing.

181. 10,000 kilometers.

182. 5,000.

183. 2,000.

184. Here they come.

185. A little excitement to start the trip, huh?

186. Yeah, I think I'm gonna need a massage when we get there.

187. Yeah.

188. There shouldn't be any Krill activity in this sector.

189. Should we warn Union Central?

190. Let's wait till they're out of range first.

191. Ed, they're turning around.

192. All right. It's okay. They still can't see us.

193. Then why the hell are they coming back?

194. They're venting drive plasma.

195. Oh, no.

196. - I'm raising deflectors. - They're targeting our engines.

197. - You okay? - Yeah, I think so. You?

198. Power's almost gone.

199. Look.

200. Oh, my God, we're in trouble.

201. Thought you'd be glad to know

202. they've finally assigned us a new security chief.

203. - She'll be here next week. - There are many on board

204. who will be pleased to know this.

205. Tharl driving you crazy, too?

206. He does not stop talking,

207. and he makes loud noises when he consumes food.

208. He comes to the mess hall wearing... sandals.

209. Come in.

210. Oh, if you guys are busy, I can come back later.

211. Not at all. What's up?

212. Commander, I would like

213. to formally submit a request to be considered

214. for the Shipmaster Qualification Program.

215. You want to take the command test?

216. I-I've been thinking about it for a while now,

217. and I'm ready to move up in the ranks.

218. Maybe even have my own ship one day.

219. What brought this on?

220. Look, I-I love flying,

221. but it's all I've ever done.

222. I have 56,000 light-years under my belt.

223. Well, you're one of the best pilots in the fleet.

224. Yeah, but that's the problem— you do one thing well,

225. and they expect you to do it forever.

226. You realize that there's a tremendous amount

227. of training involved.

228. Course work, simulator runs,

229. psychological testing.

230. Yeah, bring it on.

231. I'm ready.

232. Okay.

233. Well, first, you'll need a medical and psych evaluation.

234. I'll tell Dr. Finn to expect you.

235. Thank you, Commander.

236. I won't let you down.

237. Future captain right here.

238. He will fail.

239. Welcome aboard, Captain.

240. Where's Janel?

241. You will not ask questions.

242. You will answer them.

243. What questions?

244. Your command codes.

245. I want them.

246. I want to see Janel.

247. I am capable of causing you great pain, Captain.

248. Look, my command codes wouldn't be any good to you.

249. We're not on a Union ship.

250. Your shuttle's computer can be used to access

251. the Union deployment strategies.

252. I want the codes!

253. I'm not a fleet admiral.

254. Okay, even if I gave them to you, I don't have clearance

255. for that level of classified information.

256. What are you doing?

257. The command codes.

258. No, stop, stop. We can talk.

259. We are talking.

260. The codes, Captain!

261. Look, I can't just...

262. A Krill can survive up to level 8.

263. Humans are less resilient.

264. Go to level 6.

265. Okay...

266. I can see that this is

267. torture for you as well.

268. Level 9!

269. Stop! Just let her go, okay?

270. I'll give you the codes. All right? I'll give 'em to you.

271. Alpha Charlie

272. 27 Gamma

273. 42 Delta 6.

274. If you're lying,

275. she dies.

276. I didn't think I'd be this nervous.

277. It's like... like the first day of school.

278. Well, just relax. There are no right or wrong answers.

279. Now, I'm going to show you a series of different shapes,

280. and I want you to tell me what you see.

281. Just say the first thing that comes to mind.

282. Got it.

283. Yeah, I, uh...

284. I'd rather not say.

285. Why not?

286. It's... kind of embarrassing.

287. Can we move on to the next one?

288. All right.

289. What do you see?

290. Oh, man, that is disgusting.

291. This is all confidential. No judgment.

292. That's even worse than the last one.

293. - What do you see? - Let's move on!

294. Moving on.

295. My God, who makes these things?

296. Okay, try this.

297. Okay, this is a hostile work environment.

298. I suggest you move on to the simulator test.

299. We can get back to this.

300. Can I have a drink of water?

301. I've been looking forward to this moment

302. for a very long time.

303. Teleya.

304. You seem surprised.

305. Did you really think we would not meet again?

306. Where's Janel?

307. I gave you the codes.

308. I want to see her.

309. Lieutenant Tyler?

310. That would be difficult.

311. She no longer exists.

312. What do you mean?

313. She never existed.

314. "We should take a trip.

315. When was the last time you actually had time off?"

316. Janel.

317. I know how this must feel, Captain.

318. The humiliation,

319. the confusion.

320. It is just as I felt when you infiltrated my ship.

321. You offered kindness,

322. all the while preparing to murder my entire crew.

323. You were human.

324. Transcellular micrografting.

325. An extremely painful process, but the only way to fool

326. your bio-scanners.

327. I am an idiot.

328. For once, we agree.

329. So, none of it was real.

330. Your background, your service record.

331. An invention.

332. Lieutenant Tyler was designed to be the ideal Union officer.

333. And the perfect lure.

334. Well done.

335. It was not difficult.

336. You are simplistic and easily manipulated.

337. I don't... I don't understand. You were a teacher.

338. After I was interrogated by your Union, I escaped.

339. - How? - That is unimportant.

340. I chose not to return to my post.

341. To become a soldier in the divine fight.

342. When I was assigned to this vessel,

343. I learned of the plan to capture a Union captain.

344. I volunteered for the mission.

345. Choosing you was my idea.

346. So, what, what, do you just... want revenge?

347. The Anhkana teaches that vengeance is the will of Avis.

348. His will shall be done.

349. What's going on?

350. We are under attack.

351. What's the fastest way to your shuttle bay?

352. This way.

353. Ha'jakuvo! Me'skah!

354. We've been boarded.

355. We must find an escape pod.

356. Emergency power is down.

357. You realize we're sitting ducks if they decide to come after us.

358. The pod is programmed to seek out the closest habitable world.

359. There's a planet not far from here.

360. Oxygen atmosphere.

361. Get up.

362. I was not able to transmit a distress signal.

363. The magnetic ore in this valley is causing interference.

364. We must seek higher ground.

365. You will carry that.

366. Who the hell were those guys?

367. The Chak'tal.

368. They reside on the border of Krill space.

369. Why did they attack you?

370. We destroyed one of their colonies

371. during our expansion into that sector.

372. It is ours by divine right, but they do not see this.

373. They are savage and do not retreat.

374. And they never leave survivors.

375. They will be here soon. Move.

376. Sir, the Krill are hailing us.

377. Put 'em on.

378. You will release the prisoners immediately.

379. They were part of a raiding party

380. that nearly destroyed one of our outposts.

381. Now, I can release them to you,

382. but only if your people agree

383. to establish diplomatic channels so that we all can...

384. There will be no negotiations!

385. Comply with my demands

386. or we will open fire.

387. Okay, see, let me...

388. let me tell you why that is a terrible idea.

389. We've recently installed

390. a crazy new deflector

391. that'll bounce back anything you throw at us,

392. so... you're basically shooting yourself in the face.

393. Our scans show no such device.

394. Well... maybe not.

395. But you know what we do have?

396. We have... heart.

397. Yeah, we got a... lot of heart, lot of passion,

398. you know, so watch out.

399. You will release the prisoners or you will die!

400. Sir, they're charging weapons.

401. We also eat a lot of protein.

402. You know, fr... fresh fruits and vegetables,

403. that kind of thing, very, very healthy diet.

404. Makes us tough.

405. You know, you don't want to mess with that, trust me.

406. Very little dairy.

407. I mean, occasional sweet...

408. End simulation.

409. - You just blew up. - Sorry.

410. I kind of choked there at the end.

411. Well, the deflector thing was novel.

412. I really thought I had him this time.

413. You're thinking on your feet, so that's a start.

414. I'm just not sure that good digestion

415. is a persuasive deterrent.

416. Well, what am I doing wrong?

417. I mean, how can I beat this thing?

418. I can't tell you that.

419. There is a diplomatic solution, but you have to find it.

420. All right. Well, let's go again.

421. Why don't we call it a day, come back fresh in the morning?

422. Oh, come on. I feel like I'm so close.

423. Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm,

424. but you don't pass the command test overnight.

425. It can take months.

426. Part of being a leader is knowing

427. when you've reached your limits.

428. Right.

429. Get some rest. That's an order.

430. It's a lucky thing we hit the night side of this place.

431. Our escape pods are programmed

432. to seek out the night side as a default.

433. Must have been hard for you, being on our ship.

434. All those bright lights.

435. I survived.

436. So why don't you just kill me?

437. You will carry the beacon to high ground,

438. then you will die.

439. - Can I ask you something? - What?

440. Did you actually like any of the movies I showed you

441. or was that a lie, too?

442. There was one.

443. One? One out of 20?

444. Wow, tough audience. Which one?

445. The one about the Ark.

446. Raiders of the Lost Ark. You liked that one. Okay.

447. That was the only one?

448. I found the hero sympathetic.

449. What was his name?

450. Belloq.

451. Belloq?

452. That... those...

453. those are the Nazis— they were the bad guys.

454. I have a question for you.

455. What is it?

456. Your command codes— were they authentic?

457. Decoys. You punch 'em into your computer,

458. it feeds you mountains of fake data.

459. Would have taken you weeks to figure it out.

460. I gambled we'd be rescued by then.

461. I see.

462. Did you feel...

463. anything at all?

464. No.

465. It was just your mission?

466. To get close to me?

467. That is correct.

468. Man, I liked you a lot better

469. when you were using contractions.

470. Move.

471. I...

472. We canoodled. You canoodled with me.

473. That was all fake?

474. Janel was created to appeal

475. to your desperation for companionship.

476. The interactions were superficial.

477. No. You're wrong.

478. She was kind, she was funny,

479. she was thoughtful. I...

480. She made me a grilled cheese sandwich.

481. Why would you do that? You didn't have to do that.

482. You are a fool.

483. I-I just can't believe that there wasn't

484. a single genuine moment between us.

485. I just can't believe that.

486. If I was not going to kill you, I would give you some advice.

487. Please. Love to hear it.

488. You are painfully attentive.

489. The failure of your marriage

490. has caused you to overcompensate in the moment.

491. And yet, paradoxically,

492. despite this, your work remains your first priority.

493. You have no balance.

494. My God, you sound like my ex-wife.

495. You feel entitled to educate others,

496. but your own worldview is self-defeatingly narrow.

497. Yeah, well, at least I know who Billy Joel is.

498. What is it?

499. Look.

500. It'll be dawn soon.

501. Then we must reach high ground before then.

502. There isn't time. We got to be

503. another thousand meters up before we can

504. send that distress signal.

505. Then climb faster.

506. Teleya, the sun will kill you.

507. If I die, you die.

508. Look, even if we could sprint up this mountain,

509. we'd never make it in time.

510. We just have to find some shelter

511. and wait out the day.

512. We can get some rest and head out when the sun sets.

513. There may be caves in the rock formations below that ridge.

514. Did I tell you I'm taking the command test?

515. - No way. - Yep.

516. That's amazing.

517. Is it as tough as everyone says?

518. Tougher. But I'm feeling pumped.

519. And killing it so far.

520. - I'm impressed. - Yeah, me, too.

521. I mean, I'm happy things are going so well.

522. Well, make sure to invite me to your promotion ceremony.

523. Well, hey, why wait? I mean, feel like having

524. a drink later with a future captain?

525. Yeah, why not?

526. Cool.

527. Hey, Lieutenant. Can I talk to you for a minute?

528. Yes, sir.

529. I'll catch you later.

530. Gordon, why are you taking the command test?

531. I told you. I want to branch out,

532. move up in the ranks.

533. Yeah, but why?

534. To be more successful.

535. And what does success mean to you?

536. You know, respect.

537. So it's a status thing?

538. Well, no. I mean, that's not the whole...

539. Are you doing this to pick up chicks?

540. What?

541. Honesty is a command requirement.

542. Well, look...

543. did it cross my mind?

544. Sure.

545. I mean, wh-when you're the captain

546. or the commander, it changes how people see you.

547. Gordon... this isn't some club you join in high school

548. to hang out with the cool kids.

549. When you're in command, you're making

550. life-and-death decisions, not dinner dates.

551. Okay. I can see I'm an open book,

552. whether I want to be or not.

553. I guess lately I've been feeling...

554. bored with myself.

555. Like, is this all I am—

556. a guy who drives ships from one place to another?

557. And if I'm not enough for myself,

558. what if that means...

559. I'm not enough for other people?

560. I hope you know that's not true.

561. Look, just be sure you're doing this for the right reasons.

562. When you're in command,

563. the last person you think about is yourself.

564. Make sense?

565. And by the way,

566. if your goal is to prove how charming and awesome you are,

567. as far as I'm concerned,

568. you've already passed that test with flying colors.

569. Thanks, Commander.

570. You don't have to point that thing at me.

571. I'm not going anywhere.

572. That is correct.

573. You know, at some point, the Krill and the Union

574. are gonna have to find some common ground.

575. If we don't, eventually one of us is gonna be destroyed.

576. There is no common ground.

577. Don't you remember The King and I?

578. "Unless someday somebody trusts somebody,

579. there'll be nothing left on Earth excepting fishes"?

580. You lead a godless existence.

581. You have no soul.

582. You reject the guiding hand of Avis.

583. And without belief,

584. there can be no moral code.

585. I don't know about that.

586. We seem to be doing a lot less killing than you.

587. My brother would disagree.

588. You know I'm sorry for that.

589. But he would have destroyed a colony of 100,000 people.

590. Your own scientists claim

591. your species is just another kind of animal.

592. Animals have no souls.

593. So, if I believed in Avis,

594. then I would have a soul?

595. No.

596. Avis created the Krill independently of all other life.

597. And he created the universe for our dominion alone.

598. Look, from what we've seen,

599. when planets first achieve space travel

600. and they venture out into the galaxy

601. and discover that they're just one single species

602. among a vast diversity of life-forms,

603. they usually react in one of two ways.

604. They embrace and adapt to the fact

605. that they're no longer the center of the universe,

606. or they ratchet up their xenophobia.

607. Now, from what I've learned of your history,

608. the Krill were a lot less fanatical

609. before you left your home world.

610. You know nothing of our history.

611. I know fear when I see it.

612. You're afraid to accept the fact

613. that your superiority

614. may just be a comforting myth.

615. Who are you to lecture me about myths?

616. You fell in love with a woman who did not exist.

617. You know what?

618. She did exist.

619. For me, anyway.

620. And I think that there is a lot more of her in you

621. than you're willing to admit.

622. And if she is in there somewhere,

623. tell her...

624. tell her I miss her.

625. I'm gonna get some sleep.

626. Lie on your side.

627. What?

628. When you sleep on your back, you snore.

629. It is irritating.

630. What are you doing?

631. Change of plans.

632. We can't wait for nightfall.

633. Why not?

634. I've been tracking the position of the sun.

635. It's barely moved half a degree in the last hour.

636. That means a day on this planet is 23 Earth days long.

637. I'm gonna have to do this alone.

638. No.

639. We wait until dark again.

640. We don't have enough rations for three days, let alone 23.

641. And it's only a matter of time

642. before your friends hunt us down.

643. I said we wait.

644. The sooner I can send that distress call,

645. the sooner we get rescued.

646. I will not allow you to leave me here.

647. I'll come back. You have my word.

648. Why should I believe you?

649. You have every reason to let me die.

650. Well, then...

651. you can either shoot me or trust me.

652. I'll see you soon.

653. Commander, I am picking up

654. a distress signal from Captain Mercer.

655. On a Krill frequency.

656. Krill?

657. Track the coordinates.

658. It is a planetary system 2.6 light-years away.

659. Gordon, set a course. Maximum speed.

660. Aye, sir.

661. - They're coming. We got to go. - Did you send the signal?

662. Yeah. There are four of them headed this way.

663. I cannot go outside.

664. The sunlight.

665. Come on.

666. The distress signal is emanating

667. from the fourth planet in the system.

668. Commander.

669. A Krill ship.

670. What's left of it.

671. Gordon, Bortus, take a shuttle and find the captain.

672. Aye, Commander.

673. I have located the distress beacon.

674. Bio-signs show one human,

675. one Krill.

676. There is no place to land.

677. Don't worry, I'll make it work.

678. How?

679. Hey, man, I'm a pilot.

680. They found us.

681. A Union shuttle.

682. Yeah.

683. What are you doing?

684. I will not allow myself to be taken prisoner.

685. Teleya, don't do this.

686. Give me the gun.

687. Teleya, give me the damn gun.

688. I want to go on record here: this is not right.

689. Well, we'll find out.

690. Ed, she impersonated a Union officer,

691. she abducted you,

692. - and she could've killed you. - I'm alive now.

693. That does not change the fact that she's an enemy combatant.

694. This is for the admiralty to decide.

695. - You do not have the authority. - Objection noted.

696. - You could be court-martialed. - Noted.

697. Teleya, I want you to contact your people.

698. Tell 'em to send a ship to come pick you up.

699. I do not understand.

700. I'm letting you go.

701. Would you look at that.

702. Not every day you see

703. one of those without its guns blazing.

704. I don't understand why Ed's doing this.

705. The admirals are gonna cut him to pieces.

706. Maybe. Maybe not.

707. It all depends if they find value in his decision.

708. Yeah, but why take the risk?

709. Especially for someone who wanted you dead.

710. Lieutenant, that's command.

711. Still interested?

712. If you believe releasing me

713. will somehow improve relations between our people,

714. you are indulging another fantasy.

715. Defect of my species.

716. We never give up hope.

717. Just do me a favor, okay?

718. Take a message back to your people:

719. we can keep fighting each other

720. or we can talk.

721. Very well.

722. Oh.

723. This is for you.

724. What is it?

725. Best of Billy Joel.

726. And...

727. if you ever get the itch to do movie night again,

728. you know where to find me.

729. Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH