The Orville 1x5

1. Where'd you get those?

2. The machine. You want one?

3. No. Here.

4. Take one. I don't want one.

5. No. They're good. Take one. I don't want any.

6. Just take one. No, stop.

7. Kramer, stop it!

8. I do not understand the source of your amusement.

9. 'Cause it's funny, man!

10. It is my understanding that such a surgical procedure

11. was a delicate, high-risk undertaking at the time.

12. Yeah, that's why it's funny!

13. But could not the entry of a confection

14. into the exposed internal biology potentially put

15. the patient's life in danger?

16. You know, when you asked us to explain comedy to you,

17. I didn't think you were gonna try to ruin everything good.

18. But to derive mirth from the pain of another being

19. is sadism, is it not?

20. Ed: I mean, it's case by case.

21. Like, if a guy on a bike tries to do a trick,

22. and he smashes his balls, that's funny.

23. I would agree. Okay, here's a better example, Isaac.

24. Have you ever heard of a practical joke?

25. I am unfamiliar with the term.

26. Okay. Well, I'm gonna show you.

27. Captain,

28. we're receiving a priority one distress signal

29. from the gatria star system.

30. That's right in our neighborhood.

31. Set course and engage quantum drive.

32. Aye, sir.

33. Looks like a sun diver.

34. A what?

35. A comet that got caught

36. in the gravitational pull of a star.

37. It basically makes a kamikaze dive

38. until it's vaporized by the heat.

39. Captain,

40. the signal's coming

41. from the surface of the comet.

42. It's a crashed ship. What?

43. Isolate the frequency and patch me in.

44. You're on, sir.

45. Unidentified vessel, this is the u.S.S. Orville.

46. Do you read me?

47. This is captain pria lavesque

48. of the mining ship horizon.

49. I'm in trouble.

50. captain lavesque, stand by.

51. We're gonna get you out of there.

52. How's your life support?

53. It's functioning,

54. but it's getting pretty hot in here.

55. Isaac, what about a tractor beam?

56. The vessel is partially embedded in the surface of the comet.

57. The tractor beam could compromise its hull integrity.

58. What if someone pilots a shuttle to the surface?

59. The rescue would need to be completed

60. before the comet gets too close to the star,

61. or the shuttle will be unable

62. to escape its gravity.

63. Captain, respectfully submit that the attractiveness

64. of the ship's occupant makes the rescue imperative.

65. I could do it. The star's gravity

66. will cause the comet to break apart

67. in seven minutes, 23 seconds.

68. You could do it. All right, let's move fast.

69. Gordon, alara, you're with me. Ed.

70. Be careful.

71. Scans show the ship is near the apex of the comet.

72. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

73. You got this, right? Yeah.

74. Why'd your voice just get so high-pitched? Huh?

75. Your voice just got really high-pitched just then. No, it didn't.

76. Yeah, it did. You were like "yeah." No, it's all good.

77. Well, then what was the high-pitch...

78. It's fine. I got this.

79. Damn, that thing took a beating.

80. We got two minutes. Let's go.

81. Alara, you want to open this jar of pickles?

82. Hey! Easy with the merchandise!

83. The merchandise is about to be vaporized. Come on!

84. Mercer to Orville! How much time do we have?

85. 11 seconds. Ed, hurry!

86. Strap in, you guys.

87. We're sealed. Here we go.

88. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

89. No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

90. Come on! Come on!

91. What is it?

92. It's the gravity from the star! It's pulling us in!

93. Mercer to Orville. Lock onto us with the tractor beam.

94. Lamarr, lock onto them! Locking on.

95. Got 'em! Bringin' 'em back.

96. Nice work, John.

97. What the hell were you doing trying to land on a comet?

98. Oh. I was returning from a mining expedition

99. in the matar system,

100. and I encountered a krill battle cruiser.

101. I managed to outrun it, but it drained my power.

102. My sensors detected a dysonium deposit inside the comet.

103. So, it was either try and land there

104. and get the fuel that I needed, or sit around and wait to die.

105. Well, lucky for you, we happened to be in your neck of the woods.

106. Extremely lucky. Thank you, captain.

107. Well, you're welcome, captain. Alara will assign you

108. temporary quarters until we can drop you off

109. at the nearest union base. Perfect.

110. Deck c quarters, unit three? Yeah. Wait.

111. Didn't the last guy in there have a hamster?

112. Lieutenant Phillips, yeah.

113. Does it still smell like hamster?

114. I'll give her unit six. Great.

115. Well, insane day for you, huh? Yeah. You know,

116. I'm not ashamed to admit I could use a drink.

117. Well, you know, I'm hosting a cocktail thing

118. for the senior officers tonight in my quarters.

119. You're welcome to join. I'd love to.

120. Great.

121. Oh, it's almost 1800 hours. I'm gonna go get ready.

122. Okay, I'll see you there.

123. Oh, wait. Captain?

124. You mind stickin' around for a few minutes? Why? What for?

125. I think everyone's gonna want to see this.

126. See what?

127. Is there some reason I am the central focus

128. of everyone's attention?

129. Well, you look happier than usual.

130. Happiness is not possible for an artificial life form.

131. You have a face.

132. I do not understand.

133. Isaac, are you aware

134. that you have Mr. potato head pieces all over you?

135. I got you, man! I totally got you!

136. See, that's a practical joke!

137. Wait. You put that stuff on him? Yeah.

138. While he was recharging.

139. How the hell can you even see with all of that stuff on?

140. I detect environmental stimuli with internal sensors.

141. My eyes are purely aesthetic.

142. Evidently, my sensors did not classify

143. these "Mr. Potato head pieces" as a threat.

144. Okay, okay, so, now it's your turn, okay?

145. You got to get me.

146. And you got to be creative.

147. You got to do it when I least expect it.

148. And this is... humor? Yes!

149. I must admit, it is quite challenging.

150. However, I will do my best.

151. Oh, well, the mining company keeps things from getting dull,

152. I can tell you that.

153. The vega consortium operates out by the frontier, doesn't it?

154. Yes. Oh, you meet some pretty wild cultures out there.

155. Last year, I was trying to secure mining rights on a planet

156. where it's customary at the start

157. of any business negotiation

158. for all parties to show their genitals.

159. What's the point of that?

160. It's a show of good faith,

161. a promise that

162. all negotiators will be forthright

163. and free from deception.

164. Well, if you're a miner, I guess

165. that's what you call "finding a vein."

166. So, captain lavesque, where are you from originally?

167. Uh, I was born on earth.

168. Massachusetts, actually.

169. No kidding? I'm from Massachusetts.

170. Really? What part?

171. Little town called boxford. I'm from andover.

172. Oh, my god, we were neighbors.

173. Did you ever go

174. to the Salem witch museum as a kid?

175. My mother took me there when I was ten.

176. It scared the crap out of me.

177. That holographic recreation

178. of the giles Corey interrogation?

179. Yes, where they kept putting the rocks on top of him to get him

180. to confess, and he was going, "more weight!" "More weight!"

181. I had nightmares for a month. I don't think you ever told me that.

182. It's, like, this weird, specific thing. You kind of just had

183. to be there, but, god, it's so crazy that you would bring

184. that up. It's crazy.

185. Man, I haven't thought about that in years.

186. Come in!

187. Hi. Me again.

188. Captain lavesque.

189. Hi. Oh, please,

190. you can call me pria.

191. Pria. Um, I hope you had fun tonight.

192. I did. I had a lot of fun.

193. Good, good, good. Um...

194. We still have some, uh, orange...

195. Fl-flooflers. I don't know what they are, but...

196. I'm vegetarian. They're terrible.

197. Forget it.

198. Listen, I realized I never said a proper thank-you.

199. You know, I would've been cooked alive today

200. if it hadn't been for you and your crew.

201. Well, that's our job.

202. Uh, how are your quarters?

203. Doesn't smell like hamster. That's great. That's gr...

204. That's-that's a big win around here. Um,

205. well, please don't steal our towels. We've had some problems.

206. Okay. I won't.

207. Um...

208. I'm gonna turn in.

209. Okay.

210. Thank you.

211. search personnel database for the vega mining consortium.

212. Pria lavesque.

213. Search complete.

214. No results.

215. And this is our engine room.

216. We have a dysonium-powered quantum drive system

217. capable of speeds exceeding ten light-years per hour.

218. That's impressive. Yeah.

219. Chief.

220. This is captain lavesque.

221. And then some.

222. Uh-oh. Callin' hr.

223. I'm just kidding. Steve Newton.

224. Glad to know you.

225. Nice to meet you. Hey, chief,

226. the recalibration's gonna...

227. Yowza!

228. And this is yaphit. Hi, yaphit.

229. Hi right back at ya.

230. You know, this may sound blunt, but you are

231. the only white woman I've ever found attractive.

232. Well, you're the handsomest pile of cat puke I've ever seen.

233. Oh-ho-ho-ho!

234. I love this gal!

235. Ed? Could I talk to you for a second?

236. Yeah, sure. Uh, why don't you guys

237. show pria the engine core?

238. What's up?

239. This is a current personnel manifest

240. of the vega mining consortium.

241. There's no record at all of a pria lavesque.

242. Well, mining consortiums have employees coming and going

243. all the time— their records are usually sloppy.

244. It's probably just an oversight.

245. She said she's been there at least a year.

246. Why are you so worried about her? I'm your first officer.

247. It's my job to worry.

248. And as your first officer, I would advise you

249. not to give her this kind of access to our systems

250. until we can confirm her identity. My god, what are we,

251. the inquisition here? She's done nothing wrong.

252. I just... I want alara to assign someone to her.

253. Just to be safe. Oh, my god,

254. Kelly, no, no.

255. Listen, I will ask her

256. about the personnel manifest.

257. Okay? But that's all I'm gonna do.

258. Excuse me.

259. Commander, what can I do for you?

260. This isn't really a "commander" request.

261. This is more of a "Kelly" request.

262. Okay. What is it?

263. I need you to check

264. captain lavesque's quarters.

265. Check them for what?

266. I don't know yet.

267. Okay.

268. That's a little awkward for me, regulation-wise.

269. I mean, I can't just go snooping around

270. someone's quarters without a reason.

271. Unless you order me to.

272. No, it's not an order.

273. Here, look at this.

274. It's the personnel manifest for the vega consortium.

275. There's no pria lavesque.

276. Well, mining consortiums do keep crappy records.

277. Yeah, that's what ed said. I don't buy it.

278. And I'm guessing he doesn't know about your "Kelly" request?

279. Look, can't you just come up with some bogus security reason

280. for a search? I'm telling you,

281. I have a bad feeling about her.

282. I can put it in my security log

283. as a radiation check.

284. It's a little shaky if anyone takes a close look,

285. but I'll do it— if you promise me one thing.

286. What's that? That your concern

287. is purely in the line of duty

288. and it has nothing to do with the goo-goo eyes

289. that the captain was making at pria during drinks.

290. Okay, first of all, I didn't notice any goo-goo eyes.

291. And second of all, even if there were,

292. I wouldn't give a damn.

293. This is 100% in the line of duty.

294. I'm a professional.

295. Housekeeping.

296. You know, it would help me if I had some idea

297. of what we were looking for.

298. Anything out of the ordinary.

299. Commander.

300. I might have something.

301. This is really strange.

302. The scan can't penetrate it.

303. Can't tell what's inside.

304. Oh.

305. Hey. Captain lavesque.

306. Hi. Uh, sorry... For the intrusion.

307. We were just investigating a possible radiation leak.

308. Oh. Everything okay?

309. It's fine. Great.

310. We just wanted to make sure that you didn't go to bed

311. and wake up with a third eye or an extra kidney

312. or... something.

313. Oh, I've been exposed to so much radiation in the mines.

314. If I was gonna turn mutant, it would have happened by now.

315. Right. Of course.

316. Well, I think we're all finished here.

317. Yes. All set.

318. Again, sorry for the intrusion.

319. you gotta be kidding me.

320. Ed, just hear me out on this.

321. You went into her quarters and did a search?

322. This was my doing. I ordered alara to assist me.

323. I appreciate that, commander. But it's not true, captain.

324. I falsified the entry permit.

325. You are the chief of security on a union starship.

326. You don't go searching guest quarters

327. without reasonable cause. Yes, sir, but we both felt that...

328. And you are my first officer, all right?

329. You're supposed to be setting an example,

330. and here you are ransacking a room?

331. What, did you read her diary, too? No, we couldn't find it.

332. But, ed,

333. we discovered an object.

334. Metallic, rectangular in shape...

335. Oh, my god, you found a rectangle.

336. Good lord, well, should I sound

337. the red alert now? Our scans

338. couldn't penetrate it.

339. We had no idea what it was.

340. So it could be a belt buckle, for all you know.

341. I suppose it could be.

342. I'm putting a formal reprimand on your record.

343. Dismissed.

344. Ed,

345. can I be perfectly honest with you?

346. I don't think you're being objective regarding pria.

347. Wait, I'm sorry.

348. I'm not being objective?

349. I'm not being...

350. I-I'm sorry, which one of us

351. just went tossin' cells?

352. How am I not being objective?

353. I think you're letting

354. her charisma cloud the fact

355. that she may not be what she seems.

356. I have no idea what you're talking about. You were making

357. goo-goo eyes at her all through drinks.

358. I was not making goo-goo eye...

359. By the way, even if I was,

360. even if I was,

361. what business is that of yours?

362. We're not together anymore.

363. You can date whoever you want.

364. So can I. And that's fine.

365. I'm not saying otherwise.

366. But if it affects your judgment as an officer,

367. it is my job to point it out to you.

368. Hey, I'm not the one playing Nancy drew here.

369. Okay? Look, let's... let's do a sanity check, shall we?

370. We rescued this woman.

371. Wha... what do you think, she crashed her own ship

372. just so she could come here and do free laundry?

373. And by the way, by the way, yes,

374. you know what, I find her attractive.

375. So what? My concern

376. is completely unemotional, trust me.

377. You can bang that chick on your kitchen sink for all I care.

378. I don't ever do it near the food, you know that.

379. But as your xo, I am telling you,

380. there is something wrong here.

381. Bortus : Captain, please report to the bridge.

382. Ed: Report.

383. We don't know where the impacts are coming from.

384. There's nothing out there.

385. Well, there's got to be something out there.

386. We're getting pounded.

387. Captain, I believe we may have encountered

388. a concentrated dark matter storm.

389. Is that a thing?

390. They are extremely rare.

391. How do we get out of it? Captain, I can...

392. I can help.

393. What do you mean? We encountered

394. a dark matter storm on a mining expedition

395. to pollux 5.

396. Adjust your weapons array to flood the area

397. with neutralized axion particles.

398. A fascinating theory.

399. I do not believe anyone has ever attempted such a solution.

400. Do it.

401. Trust me.

402. Gordon, get us out of here.

403. Oh, my god.

404. Sir! The impacts have severely weakened our deflectors.

405. Structural damage is imminent.

406. Ed: Gordon, what are our options? Captain, I've never

407. even seen a dark matter storm, let alone flown through one.

408. I can do it.

409. What?

410. I've done it before.

411. Just give me helm control.

412. Ed.

413. Gordon?

414. Might as well, captain.

415. This is above my pay grade.

416. Deflectors are gone, sir.

417. One more hit could destroy the Orville.

418. Do it.

419. Pound it.

420. What's the damage?

421. Communications arrays have been destroyed, but,

422. otherwise, we are intact.

423. Are communications completely down?

424. Affirmative. Total blackout.

425. We'll have to make a stop at outpost 49 for repairs.

426. That's five days off course.

427. Well you know, there's a consortium base

428. only a day away from here.

429. I have some friends there, and I'm sure they'll be happy

430. to refit your communications array. Plus, you can

431. drop me off, I'll be out of your hair.

432. It's the least I can do

433. after everything you've done for me.

434. Well, you just saved our ship.

435. I think we're even.

436. But that would save us a lot of time.

437. Great. I'll give your navigator the coordinates.

438. You're letting her dictate our course now, too?

439. If we needed any more proof

440. that she can be trusted, we just got it.

441. I want to show you something.

442. It's breathtaking.

443. What's the name of the planet again?

444. Unuk four.

445. Our environmental simulator doesn't really do it justice,

446. but you get the idea.

447. Have you ever been there?

448. No, it's off-limits because the people are nightmarish.

449. They capture outsiders and then sacrifice them to a raccoon god

450. by methodically dismembering them.

451. Wow. Yeah.

452. It's a stunning place, though.

453. Gorgeous place, yeah. Yeah.

454. So, where'd you learn all those piloting tricks?

455. I'm out there every day,

456. flying by the seat of my pants.

457. People like me have to be creative.

458. Well, I like creative.

459. I, um...

460. I actually got out of a rough marriage

461. not too long ago, so I...

462. I think maybe we should take this slow.

463. Or... or that. That works, too.

464. Hey, I'm sorry if I pushed you into something

465. you weren't ready for.

466. No, no, it's... That's good.

467. Really? Ed: Yeah.

468. I just figure it's always easier

469. to talk in bed.

470. You know, if we're being honest here,

471. I... should tell you

472. you're actually the first person I've been with

473. since my divorce.

474. Oh, wow.

475. That's no pressure for me there.

476. No, no, no, you were fine.

477. Uh, better than fine. Really.

478. You were blue chip.

479. "Blue chip"? Yeah.

480. Your pillow talk's a little rusty, huh?

481. It is, isn't it? Yeah.

482. Yeah, okay, it's been a while, sorry.

483. What happened with your marriage?

484. If you don't want to talk about it,

485. it's okay. No, it's...

486. It's fine. Um...

487. She cheated on me

488. with a retepsian.

489. You know what they are? They got the blue skin,

490. they got the scales... Oh...

491. the stuff that comes out of the forehead.

492. It's, like, a whole weird mess.

493. I'm sorry.

494. You must have been devastated.

495. I was.

496. But... I don't know, at the same time

497. I knew it was coming.

498. I was working too much,

499. and I didn't give us the time that we deserved.

500. Still, she could have just asked you for a divorce.

501. To be cheated on,

502. man, that's...

503. There's nothing worse than that.

504. I haven't really trusted anyone since then.

505. Until now.

506. Huh...

507. All right.

508. All right, I'm up, I'm up.

509. Oh...

510. How far are we from the consortium base?

511. About two hours.

512. Keep forward scanners at maximum.

513. Kelly, what are you looking for? I don't know.

514. Trouble.

515. Isaac!

516. What the hell?

517. What happened to your leg?

518. He amputated t

519. while I was sleeping!

520. Ha ha. Got you. What?

521. I have retaliated.

522. That is my practical joke.

523. This isn't a joke, you psychopath!

524. You dismembered me!

525. I am confused.

526. You said to be creative, and you said to do it

527. when you least expected it.

528. I have adhered to both directives.

529. Isaac, did you anesthetize him in his sleep?

530. Of course, commander.

531. It would not do to have him awaken

532. during the procedure.

533. Well, where the hell is it?

534. If you are referring to your leg, I have hidden it.

535. Given its importance to you,

536. it seemed the most humorous course of action.

537. Son of a bitch! I'll kill you!

538. Ed: Oh, hey, hey, Gordon... I swear to god, I'm gonna unplug you!

539. Ed: It'll be easier just to have Dr. Finn regenerate it.

540. Alara, take him to sick bay. Come on.

541. You're sick, dude. I mean it.

542. There is something really friggin' wrong with you!

543. It seems I have much to learn about humor.

544. What did I do wrong?

545. Well, Isaac, you can't just cut off...

546. Captain, I think you and commander Grayson

547. had better come to engineering.

548. Chief, what's the matter?

549. We found something strange

550. in the navigational relays.

551. We're on our way.

552. What is it, chief?

553. Yaphit was in the navigational conduits

554. doing a maintenance check when he found this.

555. That's the object alara and I found

556. in pria's quarters.

557. Can you, um... Can you remove it?

558. We tried. It's in tight.

559. We'd have to blast it out,

560. which could damage the main relay.

561. Mercer to alara. Meet us at pria's quarters.

562. Hey. What's going on?

563. We found something in engineering.

564. We were hoping you could tell us what it is.

565. Well, I see the cat's out of the bag.

566. I think it's time for you to tell us

567. who the hell you really are.

568. I'm from the 29th century,

569. about 400 years in your future.

570. When your ship encountered that dark matter storm,

571. you were all supposed to die.

572. You honestly expect us to believe you're a time traveler?

573. It's the truth.

574. Oh, I almost forgot.

575. What the hell?

576. Lamarr to captain.

577. What is it?

578. Sir, I've lost helm control.

579. Something else is driving the ship.

580. Ooh, it's a handy little device.

581. It's actually what piloted your ship

582. through that dark matter storm. You're telling us

583. you came back in time to save our lives?

584. Why?

585. I'm afraid it wasn't your lives I wanted to save.

586. It was your ship.

587. Wait, if you really are from the future, what possible use

588. could the Orville be to you?

589. I'm a dealer in artifacts.

590. Mint condition.

591. Mostly I sell to private collectors.

592. I, and others who do what I do, travel back

593. to a specific time and place in which, say,

594. a ship like yours was destroyed.

595. I prevent the destruction,

596. then I take the ship into the future

597. and I sell it to the highest bidder.

598. What about the crews of those ships?

599. Well, they're free to live out their lives

600. as they see fit in the 29th century.

601. Wait, we rescued you. All of us were in danger.

602. Never... never mind about that.

603. What about the comet? A set-up.

604. A quick and easy way to get you to trust me.

605. Look, none of us were ever in any real danger.

606. We can do things in my time that...

607. Well, you're gonna find out for yourself.

608. Then why didn't you take control of the ship right away?

609. You obviously had the power.

610. I'm a businesswoman, not a soldier.

611. I like comfort and company,

612. and you've provided both.

613. I'm not just talking about the food.

614. How do you do it—

615. travel through time?

616. We found a stable wormhole in the 29th century.

617. Those of us who are in the business

618. learned to manipulate it.

619. This wormhole—

620. that's where we're headed.

621. I'm sorry I had to knock out

622. your communications array.

623. I couldn't have you chatting anyone up

624. if you're supposed to be dead.

625. How many times have you done this?

626. When we get to my century,

627. I'll introduce you to Amelia earhart.

628. Would the two of you give me a moment alone

629. with captain lavesque?

630. Should we take the leg?

631. Yes, take the leg. Get the...

632. And post a guard on these quarters.

633. Aye, sir.

634. A guard won't matter.

635. Was it all just a lie?

636. Not all of it.

637. I did feel something for you.

638. You'll forgive me

639. if I have a hard time believing that.

640. Ed, you were all going to die anyway.

641. Now you'll have a second chance to live

642. in a future full of wonders

643. you can't even imagine.

644. I'd still like to see where you and I could go.

645. I know where you can go.

646. Where?

647. To hell.

648. You-you can go to hell.

649. Is that an expression?

650. It is. In my century.

651. I've never heard it.

652. Well, it's... it's not good.

653. I do care about you.

654. Whether you believe me or not.

655. Kelly!

656. Kelly, wait.

657. Hey, listen, I don't want to play the blame game here...

658. That's because you're the one to blame.

659. Look, we all made mistakes.

660. Nobody made mistakes but you.

661. Let's not do the "I told you so" thing.

662. I told you so, numerous times. Okay, look.

663. Fine, you were right. Okay?

664. I'm sorry. She was a bad seed. And-and

665. she caught me where I was vulnerable, and I'm just,

666. I'm really, genuinely sorry.

667. Well, we're supposed to be dead anyway,

668. so I guess it doesn't matter.

669. Hell, by temporal law,

670. we should probably commit suicide

671. to keep the timeline intact.

672. Well, the timeline's already been changed,

673. so slitting our wrists wouldn't be any more correct

674. than the way things are now.

675. I'm glad we didn't die while I was mad at you.

676. Me, too.

677. I might have an idea.

678. Ah! Damn it.

679. All right, so that's not gonna work.

680. Could I make a suggestion?

681. What is it?

682. Old-style, antique diamond-tipped drill.

683. Was a graduation gift from my uncle.

684. No fancy energy beams,

685. just good ole brute force. Might work.

686. Could be too arcane for the device to register.

687. Do it.

688. Bingo.

689. All right, Isaac, it's all up to you.

690. I believe I have access to the internal circuitry.

691. It is

692. quite sophisticated.

693. I have never encountered anything like...

694. Isaac! Ed: Isaac!

695. There's no internal activity at all.

696. He's dead.

697. Is there anything you can do for him, doc?

698. Gordon, I'm a doctor.

699. My expertise is in biology.

700. This is more like fixing an engine.

701. It's a lot more complicated

702. than that, I'm afraid.

703. Let's recheck the database.

704. We don't know much about him,

705. but maybe there's something we missed.

706. Hey, buddy.

707. I don't know if you're in there, or if you can hear me, but...

708. I know the last time I saw you I called you a son of a bitch.

709. I was just angry 'cause you took my leg.

710. But, when I really stopped to think about it,

711. that was honest to god the best damn practical joke

712. I've ever seen in my life.

713. I just...

714. I just wanted you to know that.

715. Ed: Mercer to Malloy

716. Malloy here.

717. I need you on the bridge.

718. Seriously?

719. Captain, we're approaching the coordinates.

720. Reporting as ordered, sir.

721. Gordon, take the helm. Captain,

722. his limb regeneration is incomplete.

723. If I could just... I need him here.

724. Particularly with Isaac down.

725. If we have any chance of getting out this,

726. I need everyone at their station. Captain?

727. I think we've arrived.

728. What the hell?

729. Sorry to barge in like this,

730. it's just... we're approaching the rendezvous point.

731. Captain, I can put her to sleep

732. real quick, just say the word.

733. Hold up on that.

734. Well, it's good to know teleportation is in our future.

735. You can take a breath in New York and exhale it in Paris.

736. Pria, listen,

737. give me back my ship.

738. We'll give you a shuttle, you can take it

739. through the wormhole to your own time.

740. But there are 300 people on board the Orville

741. who have lives in this century.

742. They have families here.

743. You still don't get it.

744. You all died.

745. If I were to let you go,

746. I'd be the one altering the timeline.

747. Captain,

748. we're heading through.

749. what is that?

750. Lavesque to binzian ship.

751. I have the merchandise, as promised.

752. Poz shivik, zars lavesque. Shto kavak lo?

753. Couple of scratches.

754. Nothing that would affect the value in any significant way.

755. Regardless, I'll be happy to negotiate the price.

756. Shtak fehvor zemik, dosh mook fillory vem.

757. Of course.

758. Nobody's trying to stiff you here.

759. Pohzhy revost deck ferenos.

760. Ofor feclis eez meseem.

761. Always like to keep the customer happy.

762. No! What the hell are you...?

763. Helm control is back online.

764. Gordon, get us out of here.

765. Transfer all power to the sublight drive.

766. Sir, the alien ship is powering up

767. some kind of a tractor beam.

768. John, modulate the deflector frequency as fast as you can. Aye, sir.

769. Nice sucker punch.

770. I'd expect that from a woman who cheats on her husband.

771. You told her?

772. No. No, I didn't tell her.

773. She... she knows

774. 'cause she's from the future.

775. But it's in the past.

776. I told her. Alara, take her to the brig.

777. Come on.

778. Isaac, you there?

779. Yes, sir.

780. My algorithms were successfully transferred

781. to the ship's computer

782. before the energy burst.

783. I trust my physical body is still intact.

784. It's a little toasty, but it's all in one piece.

785. Nice touch with the junior mints.

786. I felt it prudent to alert you of my success

787. in a fashion that would not appear obvious

788. if pria were to see it.

789. Captain, can I go finish my leg now?

790. Yeah, go ahead.

791. Thank you.

792. Come on.

793. Well, I'll tell you one thing,

794. never again will I make the mistake

795. of not trusting my first officer.

796. I'm sorry.

797. Come in.

798. Thanks, alara. You can go.

799. I'll be outside if there's any trouble.

800. We'll be fine.

801. Isaac tells me this is what you used to teleport.

802. Congratulations,

803. you have technology from the future.

804. I suppose you're gonna crack it open and study it.

805. No.

806. Unlike you, we don't mess with the timeline.

807. Well,

808. what happens now?

809. You know what the most depressing part about this is?

810. I allowed myself to care about you,

811. and you used me.

812. And despite all of your claims that you still care about me,

813. not once have you even said, "I'm sorry."

814. It's a good rule in life never to apologize.

815. The right kind of people never want apologies,

816. and the wrong kind take advantage of them.

817. Fair enough.

818. It doesn't have to end.

819. Just come with me.

820. If the Orville continues to exist,

821. who knows how it will affect the timeline?

822. The Orville was supposed to be destroyed

823. in that dark matter storm.

824. You changed those events, not us.

825. And as far as how that affects your future time,

826. I don't give a damn.

827. According to Isaac,

828. as long as the wormhole exists,

829. the quantum potentiality is open.

830. Many sets of future events are possible.

831. But, if we destroy it, we choose a path.

832. There's no chance of us returning to your future,

833. and the Orville goes on to live its life.

834. Which means

835. that pria lavesque will have no reason

836. to come back into our past.

837. And you and I will never have met.

838. You'd still be that messed up guy

839. who can't get over his ex-wife.

840. Is that what you really want?

841. Mercer to bridge.

842. Fire.

843. Captioned by media access group at wgbh