1. Where'd you get those?
Copy !req
2. The machine.
You want one?
Copy !req
3. No.
Here.
Copy !req
4. No. They're good.
Take one.
I don't want any.
Copy !req
5. Just take one.
No, stop.
Copy !req
6. Kramer, stop it!
Copy !req
7. I do not understand
the source of your amusement.
Copy !req
8. 'Cause it's funny, man!
Copy !req
9. It is my understanding
that such a surgical procedure
Copy !req
10. was a delicate, high-risk
undertaking at the time.
Copy !req
11. Yeah, that's
why it's funny!
Copy !req
12. But could not the entry
of a confection
Copy !req
13. into the exposed internal
biology potentially put
Copy !req
14. the patient's life in danger?
Copy !req
15. You know, when you asked us
to explain comedy to you,
Copy !req
16. I didn't think you were gonna
try to ruin everything good.
Copy !req
17. But to derive mirth
from the pain of another being
Copy !req
18. is sadism, is it not?
Copy !req
19. Ed: I mean, it's
case by case.
Copy !req
20. Like, if a guy
on a bike tries to do a trick,
Copy !req
21. and he smashes his balls,
that's funny.
Copy !req
22. I would agree.
Okay, here's a
better example, Isaac.
Copy !req
23. Have you ever heard
of a practical joke?
Copy !req
24. I am unfamiliar with the term.
Copy !req
25. Okay. Well, I'm
gonna show you.
Copy !req
26. Captain,
Copy !req
27. we're receiving
a priority one distress signal
Copy !req
28. from the gatria star system.
Copy !req
29. That's right
in our neighborhood.
Copy !req
30. Set course
and engage quantum drive.
Copy !req
31. Aye, sir.
Copy !req
32. Looks like a
sun diver.
Copy !req
33. A what?
Copy !req
34. A comet that got caught
Copy !req
35. in the gravitational
pull of a star.
Copy !req
36. It basically makes
a kamikaze dive
Copy !req
37. until it's vaporized
by the heat.
Copy !req
38. Captain,
Copy !req
39. the signal's coming
Copy !req
40. from the surface of the comet.
Copy !req
41. It's a crashed ship.
What?
Copy !req
42. Isolate the frequency
and patch me in.
Copy !req
43. You're on, sir.
Copy !req
44. Unidentified vessel,
this is the u.S.S. Orville.
Copy !req
45. Do you read me?
Copy !req
46. This is captain pria lavesque
Copy !req
47. of the mining ship horizon.
Copy !req
48. I'm in trouble.
Copy !req
49. captain lavesque, stand by.
Copy !req
50. We're gonna get you
out of there.
Copy !req
51. How's your life support?
Copy !req
52. It's functioning,
Copy !req
53. but it's getting
pretty hot in here.
Copy !req
54. Isaac,
what about a tractor beam?
Copy !req
55. The vessel is partially embedded
in the surface of the comet.
Copy !req
56. The tractor beam could
compromise its hull integrity.
Copy !req
57. What if someone pilots a shuttle
to the surface?
Copy !req
58. The rescue would
need to be completed
Copy !req
59. before the comet gets
too close to the star,
Copy !req
60. or the shuttle
will be unable
Copy !req
61. to escape
its gravity.
Copy !req
62. Captain, respectfully submit
that the attractiveness
Copy !req
63. of the ship's occupant
makes the rescue imperative.
Copy !req
64. I could do it.
The star's gravity
Copy !req
65. will cause the comet
to break apart
Copy !req
66. in seven minutes, 23 seconds.
Copy !req
67. You could do it.
All right,
let's move fast.
Copy !req
68. Gordon, alara,
you're with me.
Ed.
Copy !req
69. Be careful.
Copy !req
70. Scans show the ship is near
the apex of the comet.
Copy !req
71. Why do I have a bad
feeling about this?
Copy !req
72. You got this, right?
Yeah.
Copy !req
73. Why'd your voice just get
so high-pitched?
Huh?
Copy !req
74. Your voice just got really
high-pitched just then.
No, it didn't.
Copy !req
75. Yeah, it did. You
were like "yeah."
No, it's all good.
Copy !req
76. Well, then what was
the high-pitch...
Copy !req
77. It's fine. I got this.
Copy !req
78. Damn, that thing took a beating.
Copy !req
79. We got two minutes. Let's go.
Copy !req
80. Alara, you want to open
this jar of pickles?
Copy !req
81. Hey! Easy with the merchandise!
Copy !req
82. The merchandise is about
to be vaporized. Come on!
Copy !req
83. Mercer to Orville!
How much time do we have?
Copy !req
84. 11 seconds.
Ed, hurry!
Copy !req
85. Strap in, you guys.
Copy !req
86. We're sealed.
Here we go.
Copy !req
87. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
88. No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
Copy !req
89. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
90. What is it?
Copy !req
91. It's the gravity from the star!
It's pulling us in!
Copy !req
92. Mercer to Orville. Lock onto
us with the tractor beam.
Copy !req
93. Lamarr,
lock onto them!
Locking on.
Copy !req
94. Got 'em! Bringin' 'em back.
Copy !req
95. Nice work, John.
Copy !req
96. What the hell were you doing
trying to land on a comet?
Copy !req
97. Oh. I was returning
from a mining expedition
Copy !req
98. in the matar system,
Copy !req
99. and I encountered a
krill battle cruiser.
Copy !req
100. I managed to outrun it,
but it drained my power.
Copy !req
101. My sensors detected a dysonium
deposit inside the comet.
Copy !req
102. So, it was either
try and land there
Copy !req
103. and get the fuel that I needed,
or sit around and wait to die.
Copy !req
104. Well, lucky for you, we happened
to be in your neck of the woods.
Copy !req
105. Extremely lucky.
Thank you, captain.
Copy !req
106. Well, you're welcome, captain.
Alara will assign you
Copy !req
107. temporary quarters
until we can drop you off
Copy !req
108. at the nearest
union base.
Perfect.
Copy !req
109. Deck c quarters,
unit three?
Yeah. Wait.
Copy !req
110. Didn't the last guy in
there have a hamster?
Copy !req
111. Lieutenant Phillips, yeah.
Copy !req
112. Does it still
smell like hamster?
Copy !req
113. I'll give her unit six.
Great.
Copy !req
114. Well, insane day
for you, huh?
Yeah. You know,
Copy !req
115. I'm not ashamed to admit
I could use a drink.
Copy !req
116. Well, you know,
I'm hosting a cocktail thing
Copy !req
117. for the senior officers tonight
in my quarters.
Copy !req
118. You're welcome
to join.
I'd love to.
Copy !req
119. Great.
Copy !req
120. Oh, it's almost 1800 hours.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Copy !req
121. Okay, I'll
see you there.
Copy !req
122. Oh, wait. Captain?
Copy !req
123. You mind stickin' around
for a few minutes?
Why? What for?
Copy !req
124. I think everyone's
gonna want to see this.
Copy !req
125. See what?
Copy !req
126. Is there some reason
I am the central focus
Copy !req
127. of everyone's attention?
Copy !req
128. Well, you look happier
than usual.
Copy !req
129. Happiness is not possible
for an artificial life form.
Copy !req
130. You have a face.
Copy !req
131. I do not understand.
Copy !req
132. Isaac, are you aware
Copy !req
133. that you have Mr. potato head
pieces all over you?
Copy !req
134. I got you, man!
I totally got you!
Copy !req
135. See, that's a
practical joke!
Copy !req
136. Wait. You put
that stuff on him?
Yeah.
Copy !req
137. While he was recharging.
Copy !req
138. How the hell can you even see
with all of that stuff on?
Copy !req
139. I detect environmental stimuli
with internal sensors.
Copy !req
140. My eyes are
purely aesthetic.
Copy !req
141. Evidently,
my sensors did not classify
Copy !req
142. these "Mr. Potato head pieces"
as a threat.
Copy !req
143. Okay, okay, so, now
it's your turn, okay?
Copy !req
144. You got to get me.
Copy !req
145. And you got to be creative.
Copy !req
146. You got to do it when
I least expect it.
Copy !req
147. And this is... humor?
Yes!
Copy !req
148. I must admit, it is
quite challenging.
Copy !req
149. However, I will do my best.
Copy !req
150. Oh, well, the mining company
keeps things from getting dull,
Copy !req
151. I can tell you that.
Copy !req
152. The vega consortium operates out
by the frontier, doesn't it?
Copy !req
153. Yes. Oh, you meet some pretty
wild cultures out there.
Copy !req
154. Last year, I was trying to
secure mining rights on a planet
Copy !req
155. where it's customary
at the start
Copy !req
156. of any business negotiation
Copy !req
157. for all parties
to show their genitals.
Copy !req
158. What's the point of that?
Copy !req
159. It's a show of good faith,
Copy !req
160. a promise that
Copy !req
161. all negotiators
will be forthright
Copy !req
162. and free from deception.
Copy !req
163. Well, if you're a miner, I guess
Copy !req
164. that's what you call
"finding a vein."
Copy !req
165. So, captain lavesque, where
are you from originally?
Copy !req
166. Uh, I was
born on earth.
Copy !req
167. Massachusetts, actually.
Copy !req
168. No kidding?
I'm from Massachusetts.
Copy !req
169. Really? What part?
Copy !req
170. Little town
called boxford.
I'm from andover.
Copy !req
171. Oh, my god,
we were neighbors.
Copy !req
172. Did you ever go
Copy !req
173. to the Salem witch
museum as a kid?
Copy !req
174. My mother took me there
when I was ten.
Copy !req
175. It scared
the crap out of me.
Copy !req
176. That holographic
recreation
Copy !req
177. of the giles Corey
interrogation?
Copy !req
178. Yes, where they kept putting the
rocks on top of him to get him
Copy !req
179. to confess, and he was going,
"more weight!"
"More weight!"
Copy !req
180. I had nightmares for a month.
I don't think
you ever told me that.
Copy !req
181. It's, like, this weird, specific
thing. You kind of just had
Copy !req
182. to be there, but, god, it's
so crazy that you would bring
Copy !req
183. that up.
It's crazy.
Copy !req
184. Man, I haven't thought
about that in years.
Copy !req
185. Come in!
Copy !req
186. Hi. Me again.
Copy !req
187. Captain lavesque.
Copy !req
188. Hi.
Oh, please,
Copy !req
189. you can call me pria.
Copy !req
190. Pria. Um, I hope
you had fun tonight.
Copy !req
191. I did. I had
a lot of fun.
Copy !req
192. Good, good,
good. Um...
Copy !req
193. We still have some,
uh, orange...
Copy !req
194. Fl-flooflers. I
don't know what they are, but...
Copy !req
195. I'm vegetarian.
They're terrible.
Copy !req
196. Forget it.
Copy !req
197. Listen, I realized
I never said a proper thank-you.
Copy !req
198. You know, I would've
been cooked alive today
Copy !req
199. if it hadn't been
for you and your crew.
Copy !req
200. Well, that's our job.
Copy !req
201. Uh, how are
your quarters?
Copy !req
202. Doesn't smell like hamster.
That's great. That's gr...
Copy !req
203. That's-that's a big
win around here. Um,
Copy !req
204. well, please don't steal our
towels. We've had some problems.
Copy !req
205. Okay. I won't.
Copy !req
206. Um...
Copy !req
207. I'm gonna turn in.
Copy !req
208. Okay.
Copy !req
209. Thank you.
Copy !req
210. search personnel database
for the vega mining consortium.
Copy !req
211. Pria lavesque.
Copy !req
212. Search complete.
Copy !req
213. No results.
Copy !req
214. And this is our engine room.
Copy !req
215. We have a dysonium-powered
quantum drive system
Copy !req
216. capable of speeds exceeding
ten light-years per hour.
Copy !req
217. That's impressive.
Yeah.
Copy !req
218. Chief.
Copy !req
219. This is captain
lavesque.
Copy !req
220. And then some.
Copy !req
221. Uh-oh. Callin' hr.
Copy !req
222. I'm just kidding.
Steve Newton.
Copy !req
223. Glad to know you.
Copy !req
224. Nice to meet you.
Hey, chief,
Copy !req
225. the recalibration's gonna...
Copy !req
226. Yowza!
Copy !req
227. And this is yaphit.
Hi, yaphit.
Copy !req
228. Hi right back at ya.
Copy !req
229. You know, this may sound
blunt, but you are
Copy !req
230. the only white woman
I've ever found attractive.
Copy !req
231. Well, you're the handsomest
pile of cat puke I've ever seen.
Copy !req
232. Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Copy !req
233. I love this gal!
Copy !req
234. Ed? Could I talk to you
for a second?
Copy !req
235. Yeah, sure. Uh,
why don't you guys
Copy !req
236. show pria
the engine core?
Copy !req
237. What's up?
Copy !req
238. This is a current
personnel manifest
Copy !req
239. of the vega mining consortium.
Copy !req
240. There's no record at all
of a pria lavesque.
Copy !req
241. Well, mining consortiums
have employees coming and going
Copy !req
242. all the time— their records
are usually sloppy.
Copy !req
243. It's probably
just an oversight.
Copy !req
244. She said she's been there
at least a year.
Copy !req
245. Why are you so worried
about her?
I'm your first officer.
Copy !req
246. It's my job to worry.
Copy !req
247. And as your first officer,
I would advise you
Copy !req
248. not to give her this kind
of access to our systems
Copy !req
249. the inquisition here?
She's done nothing wrong.
Copy !req
250. I just... I want alara
to assign someone to her.
Copy !req
251. Just to be safe.
Oh, my god,
Copy !req
252. Kelly, no, no.
Copy !req
253. Listen, I will ask her
Copy !req
254. about the personnel manifest.
Copy !req
255. Okay? But that's
all I'm gonna do.
Copy !req
256. Excuse me.
Copy !req
257. Commander, what
can I do for you?
Copy !req
258. This isn't really
a "commander" request.
Copy !req
259. This is more
of a "Kelly" request.
Copy !req
260. Okay. What is it?
Copy !req
261. I need you to check
Copy !req
262. captain lavesque's quarters.
Copy !req
263. Check them for what?
Copy !req
264. I don't know yet.
Copy !req
265. Okay.
Copy !req
266. That's a little awkward for me,
regulation-wise.
Copy !req
267. I mean, I can't just
go snooping around
Copy !req
268. someone's quarters
without a reason.
Copy !req
269. Unless you order me to.
Copy !req
270. No, it's not an order.
Copy !req
271. Here, look at this.
Copy !req
272. It's the personnel manifest
for the vega consortium.
Copy !req
273. There's no pria lavesque.
Copy !req
274. Well, mining consortiums
do keep crappy records.
Copy !req
275. Yeah, that's what ed said.
I don't buy it.
Copy !req
276. And I'm guessing he doesn't know
about your "Kelly" request?
Copy !req
277. Look, can't you just come up
with some bogus security reason
Copy !req
278. for a search?
I'm telling you,
Copy !req
279. I have a bad feeling about her.
Copy !req
280. I can put it in my security log
Copy !req
281. as a radiation check.
Copy !req
282. It's a little shaky
if anyone takes a close look,
Copy !req
283. but I'll do it—
if you promise me one thing.
Copy !req
284. What's that?
That your concern
Copy !req
285. is purely in the line of duty
Copy !req
286. and it has nothing to do
with the goo-goo eyes
Copy !req
287. that the captain was making
at pria during drinks.
Copy !req
288. Okay, first of all, I didn't
notice any goo-goo eyes.
Copy !req
289. And second of all,
even if there were,
Copy !req
290. I wouldn't give a damn.
Copy !req
291. This is 100%
in the line of duty.
Copy !req
292. I'm a professional.
Copy !req
293. Housekeeping.
Copy !req
294. You know, it would help
me if I had some idea
Copy !req
295. of what we were
looking for.
Copy !req
296. Anything out of the ordinary.
Copy !req
297. Commander.
Copy !req
298. I might have something.
Copy !req
299. This is really strange.
Copy !req
300. The scan can't penetrate it.
Copy !req
301. Can't tell what's inside.
Copy !req
302. Oh.
Copy !req
303. Hey.
Captain lavesque.
Copy !req
304. Hi. Uh, sorry...
For the intrusion.
Copy !req
305. We were just investigating
a possible radiation leak.
Copy !req
306. Oh. Everything okay?
Copy !req
307. It's fine.
Great.
Copy !req
308. We just wanted to make sure
that you didn't go to bed
Copy !req
309. and wake up with a third eye
or an extra kidney
Copy !req
310. or... something.
Copy !req
311. Oh, I've been exposed to so much
radiation in the mines.
Copy !req
312. If I was gonna turn mutant,
it would have happened by now.
Copy !req
313. Right. Of course.
Copy !req
314. Well, I think we're
all finished here.
Copy !req
315. Yes. All set.
Copy !req
316. Again, sorry for the intrusion.
Copy !req
317. you gotta be kidding me.
Copy !req
318. Ed, just hear me out on this.
Copy !req
319. You went into her quarters
and did a search?
Copy !req
320. This was my doing.
I ordered alara to assist me.
Copy !req
321. I appreciate that, commander.
But it's not true, captain.
Copy !req
322. I falsified the
entry permit.
Copy !req
323. You are the chief of security
on a union starship.
Copy !req
324. You don't go searching
guest quarters
Copy !req
325. without reasonable cause.
Yes, sir, but we
both felt that...
Copy !req
326. And you are my first officer,
all right?
Copy !req
327. You're supposed
to be setting an example,
Copy !req
328. and here you are
ransacking a room?
Copy !req
329. What, did you read
her diary, too?
No, we couldn't find it.
Copy !req
330. But, ed,
Copy !req
331. we discovered an object.
Copy !req
332. Metallic, rectangular
in shape...
Copy !req
333. Oh, my god,
you found a rectangle.
Copy !req
334. Good lord, well,
should I sound
Copy !req
335. the red alert now?
Our scans
Copy !req
336. couldn't penetrate it.
Copy !req
337. We had no idea
what it was.
Copy !req
338. So it could be a belt buckle,
for all you know.
Copy !req
339. I suppose it could be.
Copy !req
340. I'm putting a formal reprimand
on your record.
Copy !req
341. Dismissed.
Copy !req
342. Ed,
Copy !req
343. can I be perfectly honest
with you?
Copy !req
344. I don't think you're being
objective regarding pria.
Copy !req
345. Wait, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
346. I'm not being objective?
Copy !req
347. I'm not being...
Copy !req
348. I-I'm sorry, which one of us
Copy !req
349. just went tossin' cells?
Copy !req
350. How am I not
being objective?
Copy !req
351. I think you're letting
Copy !req
352. her charisma cloud the fact
Copy !req
353. that she may not be
what she seems.
Copy !req
354. I have no idea what
you're talking about.
You were making
Copy !req
355. goo-goo eyes at her
all through drinks.
Copy !req
356. I was not making goo-goo eye...
Copy !req
357. By the way, even if I was,
Copy !req
358. even if I was,
Copy !req
359. what business is that of yours?
Copy !req
360. We're not together anymore.
Copy !req
361. You can date whoever you want.
Copy !req
362. So can I.
And that's fine.
Copy !req
363. I'm not saying otherwise.
Copy !req
364. But if it affects
your judgment as an officer,
Copy !req
365. it is my job
to point it out to you.
Copy !req
366. Hey, I'm not the one
playing Nancy drew here.
Copy !req
367. Okay? Look, let's... let's do
a sanity check, shall we?
Copy !req
368. We rescued
this woman.
Copy !req
369. Wha... what do you think,
she crashed her own ship
Copy !req
370. just so she could come here
and do free laundry?
Copy !req
371. And by the way,
by the way, yes,
Copy !req
372. you know what,
I find her attractive.
Copy !req
373. So what?
My concern
Copy !req
374. is completely
unemotional, trust me.
Copy !req
375. You can bang that chick on your
kitchen sink for all I care.
Copy !req
376. I don't ever do it
near the food, you know that.
Copy !req
377. But as your xo,
I am telling you,
Copy !req
378. there is something wrong here.
Copy !req
379. Bortus : Captain,
please report to the bridge.
Copy !req
380. Ed:
Report.
Copy !req
381. We don't know where
the impacts are coming from.
Copy !req
382. There's nothing out there.
Copy !req
383. Well, there's got to be
something out there.
Copy !req
384. We're getting pounded.
Copy !req
385. Captain, I believe
we may have encountered
Copy !req
386. a concentrated
dark matter storm.
Copy !req
387. Is that a thing?
Copy !req
388. They are extremely rare.
Copy !req
389. How do we get out of it?
Captain, I can...
Copy !req
390. I can help.
Copy !req
391. What do you mean?
We encountered
Copy !req
392. a dark matter storm
on a mining expedition
Copy !req
393. to pollux 5.
Copy !req
394. Adjust your weapons array
to flood the area
Copy !req
395. with neutralized
axion particles.
Copy !req
396. A fascinating theory.
Copy !req
397. I do not believe anyone has
ever attempted such a solution.
Copy !req
398. Do it.
Copy !req
399. Trust me.
Copy !req
400. Gordon, get us out of here.
Copy !req
401. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
402. Sir! The impacts have severely
weakened our deflectors.
Copy !req
403. Structural damage is imminent.
Copy !req
404. Ed:
Gordon, what are our options?
Captain, I've never
Copy !req
405. even seen a dark matter storm,
let alone flown through one.
Copy !req
406. I can do it.
Copy !req
407. What?
Copy !req
408. I've done it before.
Copy !req
409. Just give me helm control.
Copy !req
410. Ed.
Copy !req
411. Gordon?
Copy !req
412. Might as well, captain.
Copy !req
413. This is above my pay grade.
Copy !req
414. Deflectors
are gone, sir.
Copy !req
415. One more hit
could destroy the Orville.
Copy !req
416. Do it.
Copy !req
417. Pound it.
Copy !req
418. What's the
damage?
Copy !req
419. Communications arrays
have been destroyed, but,
Copy !req
420. otherwise, we are intact.
Copy !req
421. Are communications
completely down?
Copy !req
422. Affirmative.
Total blackout.
Copy !req
423. We'll have to make a stop
at outpost 49 for repairs.
Copy !req
424. That's five days off course.
Copy !req
425. Well you know,
there's a consortium base
Copy !req
426. only a day away from here.
Copy !req
427. I have some friends there,
and I'm sure they'll be happy
Copy !req
428. to refit your communications
array. Plus, you can
Copy !req
429. drop me off,
I'll be out of your hair.
Copy !req
430. It's the least I can do
Copy !req
431. after everything
you've done for me.
Copy !req
432. Well, you just
saved our ship.
Copy !req
433. I think we're even.
Copy !req
434. But that would save
us a lot of time.
Copy !req
435. Great. I'll give your navigator
the coordinates.
Copy !req
436. You're letting her dictate
our course now, too?
Copy !req
437. If we needed any more proof
Copy !req
438. that she can be trusted,
we just got it.
Copy !req
439. I want to show
you something.
Copy !req
440. It's breathtaking.
Copy !req
441. What's the name of
the planet again?
Copy !req
442. Unuk four.
Copy !req
443. Our environmental simulator
doesn't really do it justice,
Copy !req
444. but you get the idea.
Copy !req
445. Have you ever been there?
Copy !req
446. No, it's off-limits because
the people are nightmarish.
Copy !req
447. They capture outsiders and then
sacrifice them to a raccoon god
Copy !req
448. by methodically
dismembering them.
Copy !req
449. Wow.
Yeah.
Copy !req
450. It's a stunning place, though.
Copy !req
451. Gorgeous place,
yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
452. So, where'd you learn
all those piloting tricks?
Copy !req
453. I'm out there every day,
Copy !req
454. flying by the seat
of my pants.
Copy !req
455. People like me have
to be creative.
Copy !req
456. Well, I like creative.
Copy !req
457. I, um...
Copy !req
458. I actually got out
of a rough marriage
Copy !req
459. not too long ago, so I...
Copy !req
460. I think maybe we should
take this slow.
Copy !req
461. Or... or that.
That works, too.
Copy !req
462. Hey, I'm sorry if I
pushed you into something
Copy !req
463. you weren't ready for.
Copy !req
464. No, no, it's...
That's good.
Copy !req
465. Really?
Ed: Yeah.
Copy !req
466. I just figure
it's always easier
Copy !req
467. to talk in bed.
Copy !req
468. You know,
if we're being honest here,
Copy !req
469. I... should tell you
Copy !req
470. you're actually
the first person I've been with
Copy !req
471. since my divorce.
Copy !req
472. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
473. That's no pressure
for me there.
Copy !req
474. No, no, no,
you were fine.
Copy !req
475. Uh, better than fine.
Really.
Copy !req
476. You were blue chip.
Copy !req
477. "Blue chip"?
Yeah.
Copy !req
478. Your pillow talk's
a little rusty, huh?
Copy !req
479. It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
Copy !req
480. Yeah, okay, it's been
a while, sorry.
Copy !req
481. What happened with
your marriage?
Copy !req
482. If you don't want
to talk about it,
Copy !req
483. it's okay.
No, it's...
Copy !req
484. It's fine. Um...
Copy !req
485. She cheated on me
Copy !req
486. with a retepsian.
Copy !req
487. You know what they are?
They got the blue skin,
Copy !req
488. they got the scales...
Oh...
Copy !req
489. the stuff that comes out
of the forehead.
Copy !req
490. It's, like, a whole
weird mess.
Copy !req
491. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
492. You must have
been devastated.
Copy !req
493. I was.
Copy !req
494. But... I don't know,
at the same time
Copy !req
495. I knew it was coming.
Copy !req
496. I was working too much,
Copy !req
497. and I didn't give us
the time that we deserved.
Copy !req
498. Still, she could have just
asked you for a divorce.
Copy !req
499. To be cheated on,
Copy !req
500. man, that's...
Copy !req
501. There's nothing worse than that.
Copy !req
502. I haven't really trusted
anyone since then.
Copy !req
503. Until now.
Copy !req
504. Huh...
Copy !req
505. All right.
Copy !req
506. All right, I'm up, I'm up.
Copy !req
507. Oh...
Copy !req
508. How far are we from
the consortium base?
Copy !req
509. About two hours.
Copy !req
510. Keep forward scanners
at maximum.
Copy !req
511. Kelly, what are you
looking for?
I don't know.
Copy !req
512. Trouble.
Copy !req
513. Isaac!
Copy !req
514. What the hell?
Copy !req
515. What happened
to your leg?
Copy !req
516. He amputated t
Copy !req
517. while I was sleeping!
Copy !req
518. Ha ha. Got you.
What?
Copy !req
519. I have retaliated.
Copy !req
520. That is my practical joke.
Copy !req
521. This isn't a joke,
you psychopath!
Copy !req
522. You dismembered me!
Copy !req
523. I am confused.
Copy !req
524. You said to be creative,
and you said to do it
Copy !req
525. when you least
expected it.
Copy !req
526. I have adhered
to both directives.
Copy !req
527. Isaac, did you anesthetize
him in his sleep?
Copy !req
528. Of course, commander.
Copy !req
529. It would not do
to have him awaken
Copy !req
530. during the procedure.
Copy !req
531. Well, where the hell
is it?
Copy !req
532. If you are referring
to your leg, I have hidden it.
Copy !req
533. Given its importance
to you,
Copy !req
534. it seemed the most
humorous course of action.
Copy !req
535. Son of a bitch!
I'll kill you!
Copy !req
536. Ed: Oh, hey, hey, Gordon...
I swear to god,
I'm gonna unplug you!
Copy !req
537. Ed: It'll be easier just to
have Dr. Finn regenerate it.
Copy !req
538. Alara, take him to sick bay.
Come on.
Copy !req
539. You're sick, dude.
I mean it.
Copy !req
540. There is something really
friggin' wrong with you!
Copy !req
541. It seems I have
much to learn about humor.
Copy !req
542. What did I do wrong?
Copy !req
543. Well, Isaac,
you can't just cut off...
Copy !req
544. Captain, I think you and
commander Grayson
Copy !req
545. had better come
to engineering.
Copy !req
546. Chief, what's the matter?
Copy !req
547. We found something strange
Copy !req
548. in the navigational relays.
Copy !req
549. We're on our way.
Copy !req
550. What is it, chief?
Copy !req
551. Yaphit was in the
navigational conduits
Copy !req
552. doing a maintenance check
when he found this.
Copy !req
553. That's the object
alara and I found
Copy !req
554. in pria's quarters.
Copy !req
555. Can you, um...
Can you remove it?
Copy !req
556. We tried.
It's in tight.
Copy !req
557. We'd have to blast it out,
Copy !req
558. which could damage
the main relay.
Copy !req
559. Mercer to alara.
Meet us at pria's quarters.
Copy !req
560. Hey.
What's going on?
Copy !req
561. We found something
in engineering.
Copy !req
562. We were hoping you could
tell us what it is.
Copy !req
563. Well, I see the cat's out
of the bag.
Copy !req
564. I think it's time
for you to tell us
Copy !req
565. who the hell you really are.
Copy !req
566. I'm from the 29th century,
Copy !req
567. about 400 years
in your future.
Copy !req
568. When your ship encountered
that dark matter storm,
Copy !req
569. you were all supposed to die.
Copy !req
570. You honestly expect us to
believe you're a time traveler?
Copy !req
571. It's the truth.
Copy !req
572. Oh, I almost forgot.
Copy !req
573. What the hell?
Copy !req
574. Lamarr to captain.
Copy !req
575. What is it?
Copy !req
576. Sir, I've lost helm control.
Copy !req
577. Something else is driving
the ship.
Copy !req
578. Ooh, it's a handy
little device.
Copy !req
579. It's actually what
piloted your ship
Copy !req
580. through that dark matter storm.
You're telling us
Copy !req
581. you came back in time
to save our lives?
Copy !req
582. Why?
Copy !req
583. I'm afraid it wasn't your lives
I wanted to save.
Copy !req
584. It was your ship.
Copy !req
585. Wait, if you really are from
the future, what possible use
Copy !req
586. could the Orville be to you?
Copy !req
587. I'm a dealer in artifacts.
Copy !req
588. Mint condition.
Copy !req
589. Mostly I sell
to private collectors.
Copy !req
590. I, and others who do
what I do, travel back
Copy !req
591. to a specific time and place
in which, say,
Copy !req
592. a ship like yours
was destroyed.
Copy !req
593. I prevent the destruction,
Copy !req
594. then I take the ship
into the future
Copy !req
595. and I sell it
to the highest bidder.
Copy !req
596. What about the crews
of those ships?
Copy !req
597. Well, they're free
to live out their lives
Copy !req
598. as they see fit
in the 29th century.
Copy !req
599. Wait, we rescued you.
All of us were in danger.
Copy !req
600. Never... never mind
about that.
Copy !req
601. What about the comet?
A set-up.
Copy !req
602. A quick and easy way
to get you to trust me.
Copy !req
603. Look, none of us were ever
in any real danger.
Copy !req
604. We can do things
in my time that...
Copy !req
605. Well, you're gonna
find out for yourself.
Copy !req
606. Then why didn't you take control
of the ship right away?
Copy !req
607. You obviously
had the power.
Copy !req
608. I'm a businesswoman,
not a soldier.
Copy !req
609. I like comfort
and company,
Copy !req
610. and you've provided both.
Copy !req
611. I'm not just talking
about the food.
Copy !req
612. How do you do it—
Copy !req
613. travel through time?
Copy !req
614. We found a stable wormhole
in the 29th century.
Copy !req
615. Those of us who are
in the business
Copy !req
616. learned to manipulate it.
Copy !req
617. This wormhole—
Copy !req
618. that's where we're headed.
Copy !req
619. I'm sorry I had to knock out
Copy !req
620. your communications array.
Copy !req
621. I couldn't have you
chatting anyone up
Copy !req
622. if you're supposed to be dead.
Copy !req
623. How many times
have you done this?
Copy !req
624. When we get to my century,
Copy !req
625. I'll introduce you
to Amelia earhart.
Copy !req
626. Would the two of you give me
a moment alone
Copy !req
627. with captain lavesque?
Copy !req
628. Should we take the leg?
Copy !req
629. Yes, take the leg.
Get the...
Copy !req
630. And post a guard
on these quarters.
Copy !req
631. Aye, sir.
Copy !req
632. A guard won't matter.
Copy !req
633. Was it all just a lie?
Copy !req
634. Not all of it.
Copy !req
635. I did feel
something for you.
Copy !req
636. You'll forgive me
Copy !req
637. if I have a hard time
believing that.
Copy !req
638. Ed, you were all going
to die anyway.
Copy !req
639. Now you'll have a
second chance to live
Copy !req
640. in a future full
of wonders
Copy !req
641. you can't even imagine.
Copy !req
642. I'd still like to see
where you and I could go.
Copy !req
643. I know where you can go.
Copy !req
644. Where?
Copy !req
645. To hell.
Copy !req
646. You-you can go to hell.
Copy !req
647. Is that an expression?
Copy !req
648. It is. In my century.
Copy !req
649. I've never heard it.
Copy !req
650. Well, it's... it's not good.
Copy !req
651. I do care about you.
Copy !req
652. Whether you believe me or not.
Copy !req
653. Kelly!
Copy !req
654. Kelly, wait.
Copy !req
655. Hey, listen, I don't want to
play the blame game here...
Copy !req
656. That's because you're
the one to blame.
Copy !req
657. Look, we all made mistakes.
Copy !req
658. Nobody made mistakes
but you.
Copy !req
659. Let's not do the
"I told you so" thing.
Copy !req
660. I told you so,
numerous times.
Okay, look.
Copy !req
661. Fine, you were right. Okay?
Copy !req
662. I'm sorry.
She was a bad seed. And-and
Copy !req
663. she caught me where I was
vulnerable, and I'm just,
Copy !req
664. I'm really, genuinely sorry.
Copy !req
665. Well, we're supposed
to be dead anyway,
Copy !req
666. so I guess it doesn't matter.
Copy !req
667. Hell, by temporal law,
Copy !req
668. we should probably
commit suicide
Copy !req
669. to keep the timeline intact.
Copy !req
670. Well, the timeline's
already been changed,
Copy !req
671. so slitting our wrists
wouldn't be any more correct
Copy !req
672. than the way things are now.
Copy !req
673. I'm glad we didn't die
while I was mad at you.
Copy !req
674. Me, too.
Copy !req
675. I might have an idea.
Copy !req
676. Ah! Damn it.
Copy !req
677. All right,
so that's not gonna work.
Copy !req
678. Could I make a suggestion?
Copy !req
679. What is it?
Copy !req
680. Old-style, antique
diamond-tipped drill.
Copy !req
681. Was a graduation gift
from my uncle.
Copy !req
682. No fancy energy beams,
Copy !req
683. just good ole brute force.
Might work.
Copy !req
684. Could be too arcane
for the device to register.
Copy !req
685. Do it.
Copy !req
686. Bingo.
Copy !req
687. All right, Isaac,
it's all up to you.
Copy !req
688. I believe I have access
to the internal circuitry.
Copy !req
689. It is
Copy !req
690. quite sophisticated.
Copy !req
691. I have never encountered
anything like...
Copy !req
692. Isaac!
Ed: Isaac!
Copy !req
693. There's no internal activity
at all.
Copy !req
694. He's dead.
Copy !req
695. Is there anything you
can do for him, doc?
Copy !req
696. Gordon, I'm a doctor.
Copy !req
697. My expertise
is in biology.
Copy !req
698. This is more like
fixing an engine.
Copy !req
699. It's a lot more complicated
Copy !req
700. than that, I'm afraid.
Copy !req
701. Let's recheck the database.
Copy !req
702. We don't know much about him,
Copy !req
703. but maybe there's
something we missed.
Copy !req
704. Hey, buddy.
Copy !req
705. I don't know if you're in there,
or if you can hear me, but...
Copy !req
706. I know the last time I saw you
I called you a son of a bitch.
Copy !req
707. I was just angry
'cause you took my leg.
Copy !req
708. But, when I really stopped
to think about it,
Copy !req
709. that was honest to god
the best damn practical joke
Copy !req
710. I've ever seen in my life.
Copy !req
711. I just...
Copy !req
712. I just wanted you to know that.
Copy !req
713. Ed:
Mercer to Malloy
Copy !req
714. Malloy here.
Copy !req
715. I need you on the bridge.
Copy !req
716. Seriously?
Copy !req
717. Captain, we're approaching
the coordinates.
Copy !req
718. Reporting as ordered, sir.
Copy !req
719. Gordon, take the helm.
Captain,
Copy !req
720. his limb regeneration
is incomplete.
Copy !req
721. If I could just...
I need him here.
Copy !req
722. Particularly with Isaac down.
Copy !req
723. If we have any chance
of getting out this,
Copy !req
724. I need everyone
at their station.
Captain?
Copy !req
725. I think we've arrived.
Copy !req
726. What the hell?
Copy !req
727. Sorry to barge in like this,
Copy !req
728. it's just... we're approaching
the rendezvous point.
Copy !req
729. Captain, I can
put her to sleep
Copy !req
730. real quick,
just say the word.
Copy !req
731. Hold up on that.
Copy !req
732. Well, it's good to know
teleportation is in our future.
Copy !req
733. You can take a breath in
New York and exhale it in Paris.
Copy !req
734. Pria, listen,
Copy !req
735. give me back my ship.
Copy !req
736. We'll give you a shuttle,
you can take it
Copy !req
737. through the wormhole
to your own time.
Copy !req
738. But there are 300 people
on board the Orville
Copy !req
739. who have lives
in this century.
Copy !req
740. They have families here.
Copy !req
741. You still don't get it.
Copy !req
742. You all died.
Copy !req
743. If I were to let you go,
Copy !req
744. I'd be the one altering
the timeline.
Copy !req
745. Captain,
Copy !req
746. we're heading through.
Copy !req
747. what is that?
Copy !req
748. Lavesque to binzian ship.
Copy !req
749. I have the merchandise,
as promised.
Copy !req
750. Poz shivik, zars lavesque.
Shto kavak lo?
Copy !req
751. Couple of scratches.
Copy !req
752. Nothing that would affect the
value in any significant way.
Copy !req
753. Regardless, I'll be happy
to negotiate the price.
Copy !req
754. Shtak fehvor zemik,
dosh mook fillory vem.
Copy !req
755. Of course.
Copy !req
756. Nobody's trying
to stiff you here.
Copy !req
757. Pohzhy revost deck ferenos.
Copy !req
758. Ofor feclis eez meseem.
Copy !req
759. Always like to keep
the customer happy.
Copy !req
760. No! What the hell are you...?
Copy !req
761. Helm control
is back online.
Copy !req
762. Gordon, get us
out of here.
Copy !req
763. Transfer all power
to the sublight drive.
Copy !req
764. Sir, the alien ship
is powering up
Copy !req
765. some kind of a tractor beam.
Copy !req
766. John, modulate the deflector
frequency as fast as you can.
Aye, sir.
Copy !req
767. Nice sucker punch.
Copy !req
768. I'd expect that from a woman
who cheats on her husband.
Copy !req
769. You told her?
Copy !req
770. No. No, I didn't tell her.
Copy !req
771. She... she knows
Copy !req
772. 'cause she's from the future.
Copy !req
773. But it's in the past.
Copy !req
774. I told her.
Alara, take her to the brig.
Copy !req
775. Come on.
Copy !req
776. Isaac, you there?
Copy !req
777. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
778. My algorithms were
successfully transferred
Copy !req
779. to the ship's computer
Copy !req
780. before the energy burst.
Copy !req
781. I trust my physical body
is still intact.
Copy !req
782. It's a little toasty,
but it's all in one piece.
Copy !req
783. Nice touch with
the junior mints.
Copy !req
784. I felt it prudent to alert you
of my success
Copy !req
785. in a fashion that would not
appear obvious
Copy !req
786. if pria were to see it.
Copy !req
787. Captain, can I go finish
my leg now?
Copy !req
788. Yeah, go ahead.
Copy !req
789. Thank you.
Copy !req
790. Come on.
Copy !req
791. Well, I'll tell you
one thing,
Copy !req
792. never again will
I make the mistake
Copy !req
793. of not trusting
my first officer.
Copy !req
794. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
795. Come in.
Copy !req
796. Thanks, alara. You can go.
Copy !req
797. I'll be outside
if there's any trouble.
Copy !req
798. We'll be fine.
Copy !req
799. Isaac tells me this is
what you used to teleport.
Copy !req
800. Congratulations,
Copy !req
801. you have technology
from the future.
Copy !req
802. I suppose you're gonna
crack it open and study it.
Copy !req
803. No.
Copy !req
804. Unlike you, we don't mess
with the timeline.
Copy !req
805. Well,
Copy !req
806. what happens now?
Copy !req
807. You know what the most
depressing part about this is?
Copy !req
808. I allowed myself
to care about you,
Copy !req
809. and you used me.
Copy !req
810. And despite all of your claims
that you still care about me,
Copy !req
811. not once have you even said,
"I'm sorry."
Copy !req
812. It's a good rule in life
never to apologize.
Copy !req
813. The right kind of people
never want apologies,
Copy !req
814. and the wrong kind
take advantage of them.
Copy !req
815. Fair enough.
Copy !req
816. It doesn't have to end.
Copy !req
817. Just come with me.
Copy !req
818. If the Orville continues
to exist,
Copy !req
819. who knows how it will
affect the timeline?
Copy !req
820. The Orville was supposed
to be destroyed
Copy !req
821. in that dark matter storm.
Copy !req
822. You changed those events,
not us.
Copy !req
823. And as far as how that
affects your future time,
Copy !req
824. I don't give a damn.
Copy !req
825. According to Isaac,
Copy !req
826. as long as the wormhole exists,
Copy !req
827. the quantum potentiality
is open.
Copy !req
828. Many sets of future events
are possible.
Copy !req
829. But, if we destroy it,
we choose a path.
Copy !req
830. There's no chance of us
returning to your future,
Copy !req
831. and the Orville goes on
to live its life.
Copy !req
832. Which means
Copy !req
833. that pria lavesque
will have no reason
Copy !req
834. to come back into our past.
Copy !req
835. And you and I will never
have met.
Copy !req
836. You'd still be that
messed up guy
Copy !req
837. who can't get over his ex-wife.
Copy !req
838. Is that what you really want?
Copy !req
839. Mercer to bridge.
Copy !req
840. Fire.
Copy !req
841. Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
Copy !req