1. Where'd you get those?
Copy !req
2. - The machine.
- You want one?
Copy !req
3. No. Here.
Copy !req
4. - Take one.
- I don't want one.
Copy !req
5. No. They're good. Take one.
I don't want any.
Copy !req
6. - Just take one.
- No, stop.
Copy !req
7. Kramer, stop it!
Copy !req
8. I do not understand
the source of your amusement.
Copy !req
9. 'Cause it's funny, man!
Copy !req
10. It is my understanding
that such a surgical procedure
Copy !req
11. was a delicate, highrisk
undertaking at the time.
Copy !req
12. Yeah, that's why it's funny!
Copy !req
13. But could not the entry
of a confection
Copy !req
14. into the exposed internal
biology potentially put
Copy !req
15. the patient's life in danger?
Copy !req
16. You know, when you asked us
to explain comedy to you,
Copy !req
17. I didn't think you were gonna
try to ruin everything good.
Copy !req
18. But to derive mirth
from the pain of another being
Copy !req
19. is sadism, is it not?
Copy !req
20. I mean, it's case by case.
Copy !req
21. Like, if a guy
on a bike tries to do a trick,
Copy !req
22. and he smashes his balls,
that's funny.
Copy !req
23. I would agree. Okay, here's
a better example, Isaac.
Copy !req
24. Have you ever heard
of a practical joke?
Copy !req
25. I am unfamiliar with the term.
Copy !req
26. Okay. Well, I'm gonna show you.
Copy !req
27. Captain,
Copy !req
28. we're receiving
a priority one distress signal
Copy !req
29. from the gatria star system.
Copy !req
30. That's right
in our neighborhood.
Copy !req
31. Set course
and engage quantum drive.
Copy !req
32. Aye, sir.
Copy !req
33. Looks like a sun diver.
Copy !req
34. A what?
Copy !req
35. A comet that got caught
Copy !req
36. in the gravitational
pull of a star.
Copy !req
37. It basically makes
a kamikaze dive
Copy !req
38. until it's vaporized
by the heat.
Copy !req
39. Captain,
Copy !req
40. the signal's coming
Copy !req
41. from the surface of the comet.
Copy !req
42. It's a crashed ship. What?
Copy !req
43. Isolate the frequency
and patch me in.
Copy !req
44. You're on, sir.
Copy !req
45. Unidentified vessel,
this is the u.S.S. Orville.
Copy !req
46. Do you read me?
Copy !req
47. This is captain pria lavesque
Copy !req
48. of the mining ship horizon.
Copy !req
49. I'm in trouble.
Copy !req
50. Captain lavesque, stand by.
Copy !req
51. We're gonna get you
out of there.
Copy !req
52. How's your life support?
Copy !req
53. It's functioning,
Copy !req
54. but it's getting
pretty hot in here.
Copy !req
55. Isaac,
what about a tractor beam?
Copy !req
56. The vessel is partially embedded
in the surface of the comet.
Copy !req
57. The tractor beam could
compromise its hull integrity.
Copy !req
58. What if someone pilots a shuttle
to the surface?
Copy !req
59. The rescue would
need to be completed
Copy !req
60. before the comet gets
too close to the star,
Copy !req
61. or the shuttle will be unable
Copy !req
62. to escape its gravity.
Copy !req
63. Captain, respectfully submit
that the attractiveness
Copy !req
64. of the ship's occupant
makes the rescue imperative.
Copy !req
65. - I could do it.
- The star's gravity
Copy !req
66. will cause the comet
to break apart
Copy !req
67. in seven minutes, 23 seconds.
Copy !req
68. You could do it. All
right, let's move fast.
Copy !req
69. Gordon, alara, you're with me.
Ed.
Copy !req
70. Be careful.
Copy !req
71. Scans show the ship is near
the apex of the comet.
Copy !req
72. Why do I have a bad
feeling about this?
Copy !req
73. You got this, right? Yeah.
Copy !req
74. Why'd your voice just get
so highpitched?
Copy !req
75. Your voice just got really highpitched
just then. No, it didn't.
Copy !req
76. Yeah, it did. You were like
"yeah." No, it's all good.
Copy !req
77. Well, then what was
the highpitch...
Copy !req
78. It's fine. I got this.
Copy !req
79. Damn, that thing took a beating.
Copy !req
80. We got two minutes. Let's go.
Copy !req
81. Alara, you want to open
this jar of pickles?
Copy !req
82. Hey! Easy with the merchandise!
Copy !req
83. The merchandise is about
to be vaporized. Come on!
Copy !req
84. Mercer to Orville!
How much time do we have?
Copy !req
85. 11 seconds. Ed, hurry!
Copy !req
86. Strap in, you guys.
Copy !req
87. We're sealed. Here we go.
Copy !req
88. Boy. Boy.
Copy !req
89. No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
Copy !req
90. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
91. What is it?
Copy !req
92. It's the gravity from the star!
It's pulling us in!
Copy !req
93. Mercer to Orville. Lock onto
us with the tractor beam.
Copy !req
94. Lamarr, lock onto them!
Locking on.
Copy !req
95. Got 'em! Bringin' 'em back.
Copy !req
96. Nice work, John.
Copy !req
97. What the hell were you doing
trying to land on a comet?
Copy !req
98. I was returning
from a mining expedition
Copy !req
99. in the matar system,
Copy !req
100. and I encountered a
krill battle cruiser.
Copy !req
101. I managed to outrun it,
but it drained my power.
Copy !req
102. My sensors detected a dysonium
deposit inside the comet.
Copy !req
103. So, it was either
try and land there
Copy !req
104. and get the fuel that I needed,
or sit around and wait to die.
Copy !req
105. Well, lucky for you, we happened
to be in your neck of the woods.
Copy !req
106. Extremely lucky.
Thank you, captain.
Copy !req
107. Well, you're welcome, captain.
Alara will assign you
Copy !req
108. temporary quarters
until we can drop you off
Copy !req
109. at the nearest union base.
Perfect.
Copy !req
110. Deck c quarters, unit three?
Yeah. Wait.
Copy !req
111. Didn't the last guy in
there have a hamster?
Copy !req
112. Lieutenant Phillips, yeah.
Copy !req
113. Does it still
smell like hamster?
Copy !req
114. I'll give her unit six. Great.
Copy !req
115. Well, insane day for you?
Yeah. You know,
Copy !req
116. I'm not ashamed to admit
I could use a drink.
Copy !req
117. Well, you know,
I'm hosting a cocktail thing
Copy !req
118. for the senior officers tonight
in my quarters.
Copy !req
119. You're welcome to join.
I'd love to.
Copy !req
120. Great.
Copy !req
121. It's almost 1800 hours.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Copy !req
122. Okay, I'll see you there.
Copy !req
123. Wait. Captain?
Copy !req
124. You mind stickin' around for a few minutes?
Why? What for?
Copy !req
125. I think everyone's
gonna want to see this.
Copy !req
126. See what?
Copy !req
127. Is there some reason
I am the central focus
Copy !req
128. of everyone's attention?
Copy !req
129. Well, you look happier
than usual.
Copy !req
130. Happiness is not possible
for an artificial life form.
Copy !req
131. You have a face.
Copy !req
132. I do not understand.
Copy !req
133. Isaac, are you aware
Copy !req
134. that you have Mr. potato head
pieces all over you?
Copy !req
135. I got you, man!
I totally got you!
Copy !req
136. See, that's a practical joke!
Copy !req
137. Wait. You put that stuff on him?
Yeah.
Copy !req
138. While he was recharging.
Copy !req
139. How the hell can you even see
with all of that stuff on?
Copy !req
140. I detect environmental stimuli
with internal sensors.
Copy !req
141. My eyes are purely aesthetic.
Copy !req
142. Evidently,
my sensors did not classify
Copy !req
143. these "Mr. Potato head pieces"
as a threat.
Copy !req
144. Okay, okay, so, now
it's your turn, okay?
Copy !req
145. You got to get me.
Copy !req
146. And you got to be creative.
Copy !req
147. You got to do it when
I least expect it.
Copy !req
148. And this is... humor? Yes!
Copy !req
149. I must admit, it is
quite challenging.
Copy !req
150. However, I will do my best.
Copy !req
151. Well, the mining company
keeps things from getting dull,
Copy !req
152. I can tell you that.
Copy !req
153. The vega consortium operates out
by the frontier, doesn't it?
Copy !req
154. Yes. You meet some pretty
wild cultures out there.
Copy !req
155. Last year, I was trying to
secure mining rights on a planet
Copy !req
156. where it's customary
at the start
Copy !req
157. of any business negotiation
Copy !req
158. for all parties
to show their genitals.
Copy !req
159. What's the point of that?
Copy !req
160. It's a show of good faith,
Copy !req
161. a promise that
Copy !req
162. all negotiators
will be forthright
Copy !req
163. and free from deception.
Copy !req
164. Well, if you're a miner, I guess
Copy !req
165. that's what you call
"finding a vein."
Copy !req
166. So, captain lavesque, where
are you from originally?
Copy !req
167. I was born on earth.
Copy !req
168. Massachusetts, actually.
Copy !req
169. No kidding?
I'm from Massachusetts.
Copy !req
170. Really? What part?
Copy !req
171. Little town called boxford.
I'm from andover.
Copy !req
172. My god, we were neighbors.
Copy !req
173. Did you ever go
Copy !req
174. to the Salem witch
museum as a kid?
Copy !req
175. My mother took me there
when I was ten.
Copy !req
176. It scared the crap out of me.
Copy !req
177. That holographic recreation
Copy !req
178. of the giles Corey
interrogation?
Copy !req
179. Yes, where they kept putting the
rocks on top of him to get him
Copy !req
180. to confess, and he was going,
"more weight!"More weight!"
Copy !req
181. I had nightmares for a month. I
don't think you ever told me that.
Copy !req
182. It's, like, this weird, specific
thing. You kind of just had
Copy !req
183. to be there, but, god, it's
so crazy that you would bring
Copy !req
184. - that up.
- It's crazy.
Copy !req
185. Man, I haven't thought
about that in years.
Copy !req
186. Come in!
Copy !req
187. Hi. Me again.
Copy !req
188. Captain lavesque.
Copy !req
189. Hi. Please,
Copy !req
190. you can call me pria.
Copy !req
191. Pria. Um, I hope
you had fun tonight.
Copy !req
192. I did. I had a lot of fun.
Copy !req
193. Good, good, good. Um...
Copy !req
194. We still have some, orange...
Copy !req
195. Flflooflers. I
don't know what they are, but...
Copy !req
196. I'm vegetarian.
They're terrible.
Copy !req
197. Forget it.
Copy !req
198. Listen, I realized
I never said a proper thank you.
Copy !req
199. You know, I would've
been cooked alive today
Copy !req
200. if it hadn't been
for you and your crew.
Copy !req
201. Well, that's our job.
Copy !req
202. How are your quarters?
Copy !req
203. Doesn't smell like hamster.
That's great. That's gr...
Copy !req
204. That'sthat's a big
win around here. Um,
Copy !req
205. well, please don't steal our
towels. We've had some problems.
Copy !req
206. Okay. I won't.
Copy !req
207. Um...
Copy !req
208. I'm gonna turn in.
Copy !req
209. Okay.
Copy !req
210. Thank you.
Copy !req
211. Search personnel database
for the vega mining consortium.
Copy !req
212. Pria lavesque.
Copy !req
213. Search complete.
Copy !req
214. No results.
Copy !req
215. And this is our engine room.
Copy !req
216. We have a dysoniumpowered
quantum drive system
Copy !req
217. capable of speeds exceeding
ten lightyears per hour.
Copy !req
218. That's impressive. Yeah.
Copy !req
219. Chief.
Copy !req
220. This is captain lavesque.
Copy !req
221. And then some.
Copy !req
222. Callin' hr.
Copy !req
223. I'm just kidding. Steve Newton.
Copy !req
224. Glad to know you.
Copy !req
225. - Nice to meet you.
- Hey, chief,
Copy !req
226. the recalibration's gonna...
Copy !req
227. Yowza!
Copy !req
228. And this is yaphit. Hi, yaphit.
Copy !req
229. Hi right back at ya.
Copy !req
230. You know, this may sound
blunt, but you are
Copy !req
231. the only white woman
I've ever found attractive.
Copy !req
232. Well, you're the handsomest
pile of cat puke I've ever seen.
Copy !req
233. Hohoho!
Copy !req
234. I love this gal!
Copy !req
235. Ed? Could I talk to you
for a second?
Copy !req
236. Yeah, sure. Why don't you guys
Copy !req
237. show pria the engine core?
Copy !req
238. What's up?
Copy !req
239. This is a current
personnel manifest
Copy !req
240. of the vega mining consortium.
Copy !req
241. There's no record at all
of a pria lavesque.
Copy !req
242. Well, mining consortiums
have employees coming and going
Copy !req
243. all the time... their records
are usually sloppy.
Copy !req
244. It's probably just an oversight.
Copy !req
245. She said she's been there
at least a year.
Copy !req
246. Why are you so worried about her?
I'm your first officer.
Copy !req
247. It's my job to worry.
Copy !req
248. And as your first officer,
I would advise you
Copy !req
249. not to give her this kind
of access to our systems
Copy !req
250. until we can confirm her identity.
My god, what are we,
Copy !req
251. the inquisition here?
She's done nothing wrong.
Copy !req
252. I just... I want alara
to assign someone to her.
Copy !req
253. Just to be safe. My god,
Copy !req
254. Kelly, no, no.
Copy !req
255. Listen, I will ask her
Copy !req
256. about the personnel manifest.
Copy !req
257. Okay? But that's
all I'm gonna do.
Copy !req
258. Excuse me.
Copy !req
259. Commander, what
can I do for you?
Copy !req
260. This isn't really
a "commander" request.
Copy !req
261. This is more
of a "Kelly" request.
Copy !req
262. Okay. What is it?
Copy !req
263. I need you to check
Copy !req
264. captain lavesque's quarters.
Copy !req
265. Check them for what?
Copy !req
266. I don't know yet.
Copy !req
267. Okay.
Copy !req
268. That's a little awkward for me,
regulationwise.
Copy !req
269. I mean, I can't just
go snooping around
Copy !req
270. someone's quarters
without a reason.
Copy !req
271. Unless you order me to.
Copy !req
272. No, it's not an order.
Copy !req
273. Here, look at this.
Copy !req
274. It's the personnel manifest
for the vega consortium.
Copy !req
275. There's no pria lavesque.
Copy !req
276. Well, mining consortiums
do keep crappy records.
Copy !req
277. Yeah, that's what ed said.
I don't buy it.
Copy !req
278. And I'm guessing he doesn't know
about your "Kelly" request?
Copy !req
279. Look, can't you just come up
with some bogus security reason
Copy !req
280. for a search? I'm telling you,
Copy !req
281. I have a bad feeling about her.
Copy !req
282. I can put it in my security log
Copy !req
283. as a radiation check.
Copy !req
284. It's a little shaky
if anyone takes a close look,
Copy !req
285. but I'll do it...
If you promise me one thing.
Copy !req
286. What's that? That your concern
Copy !req
287. is purely in the line of duty
Copy !req
288. and it has nothing to do
with the googoo eyes
Copy !req
289. that the captain was making
at pria during drinks.
Copy !req
290. Okay, first of all, I didn't
notice any googoo eyes.
Copy !req
291. And second of all,
even if there were,
Copy !req
292. I wouldn't give a damn.
Copy !req
293. This is 100%
in the line of duty.
Copy !req
294. I'm a professional.
Copy !req
295. Housekeeping.
Copy !req
296. You know, it would help
me if I had some idea
Copy !req
297. of what we were looking for.
Copy !req
298. Anything out of the ordinary.
Copy !req
299. Commander.
Copy !req
300. I might have something.
Copy !req
301. This is really strange.
Copy !req
302. The scan can't penetrate it.
Copy !req
303. Can't tell what's inside.
Copy !req
304. - Hey.
- Captain lavesque.
Copy !req
305. Hi. Sorry... For the intrusion.
Copy !req
306. We were just investigating
a possible radiation leak.
Copy !req
307. Everything okay?
Copy !req
308. It's fine. Great.
Copy !req
309. We just wanted to make sure
that you didn't go to bed
Copy !req
310. and wake up with a third eye
or an extra kidney
Copy !req
311. or... something.
Copy !req
312. I've been exposed to so much
radiation in the mines.
Copy !req
313. If I was gonna turn mutant,
it would have happened by now.
Copy !req
314. Right. Of course.
Copy !req
315. Well, I think we're
all finished here.
Copy !req
316. Yes. All set.
Copy !req
317. Again, sorry for the intrusion.
Copy !req
318. You gotta be kidding me.
Copy !req
319. Ed, just hear me out on this.
Copy !req
320. You went into her quarters
and did a search?
Copy !req
321. This was my doing.
I ordered alara to assist me.
Copy !req
322. I appreciate that, commander.
But it's not true, captain.
Copy !req
323. I falsified the entry permit.
Copy !req
324. You are the chief of security
on a union starship.
Copy !req
325. You don't go searching
guest quarters
Copy !req
326. without reasonable cause. Yes,
sir, but we both felt that...
Copy !req
327. And you are my first officer,
all right?
Copy !req
328. You're supposed
to be setting an example,
Copy !req
329. and here you are
ransacking a room?
Copy !req
330. What, did you read her diary, too?
No, we couldn't find it.
Copy !req
331. But, ed,
Copy !req
332. we discovered an object.
Copy !req
333. Metallic, rectangular
in shape...
Copy !req
334. My god, you found a rectangle.
Copy !req
335. Good lord, well, should I sound
Copy !req
336. the red alert now? Our scans
Copy !req
337. couldn't penetrate it.
Copy !req
338. We had no idea what it was.
Copy !req
339. So it could be a belt buckle,
for all you know.
Copy !req
340. I suppose it could be.
Copy !req
341. I'm putting a formal reprimand
on your record.
Copy !req
342. Dismissed.
Copy !req
343. Ed,
Copy !req
344. can I be perfectly honest
with you?
Copy !req
345. I don't think you're being
objective regarding pria.
Copy !req
346. Wait, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
347. I'm not being objective?
Copy !req
348. I'm not being...
Copy !req
349. II'm sorry, which one of us
Copy !req
350. just went tossin' cells?
Copy !req
351. How am I not being objective?
Copy !req
352. I think you're letting
Copy !req
353. her charisma cloud the fact
Copy !req
354. that she may not be
what she seems.
Copy !req
355. I have no idea what you're talking about.
You were making
Copy !req
356. googoo eyes at her
all through drinks.
Copy !req
357. I was not making googoo eye...
Copy !req
358. By the way, even if I was,
Copy !req
359. even if I was,
Copy !req
360. what business is that of yours?
Copy !req
361. We're not together anymore.
Copy !req
362. You can date whoever you want.
Copy !req
363. So can I. And that's fine.
Copy !req
364. I'm not saying otherwise.
Copy !req
365. But if it affects
your judgment as an officer,
Copy !req
366. it is my job
to point it out to you.
Copy !req
367. Hey, I'm not the one
playing Nancy drew here.
Copy !req
368. Okay? Look, let's... let's do
a sanity check, shall we?
Copy !req
369. We rescued this woman.
Copy !req
370. Wha... what do you think,
she crashed her own ship
Copy !req
371. just so she could come here
and do free laundry?
Copy !req
372. And by the way, by the way, yes,
Copy !req
373. you know what,
I find her attractive.
Copy !req
374. So what? My concern
Copy !req
375. is completely
unemotional, trust me.
Copy !req
376. You can bang that chick on your
kitchen sink for all I care.
Copy !req
377. I don't ever do it
near the food, you know that.
Copy !req
378. But as your xo,
I am telling you,
Copy !req
379. there is something wrong here.
Copy !req
380. Captain,
please report to the bridge.
Copy !req
381. Report.
Copy !req
382. We don't know where
the impacts are coming from.
Copy !req
383. There's nothing out there.
Copy !req
384. Well, there's got to be
something out there.
Copy !req
385. We're getting pounded.
Copy !req
386. Captain, I believe
we may have encountered
Copy !req
387. a concentrated
dark matter storm.
Copy !req
388. Is that a thing?
Copy !req
389. They are extremely rare.
Copy !req
390. How do we get out of it?
Captain, I can...
Copy !req
391. I can help.
Copy !req
392. What do you mean? We encountered
Copy !req
393. a dark matter storm
on a mining expedition
Copy !req
394. to pollux 5.
Copy !req
395. Adjust your weapons array
to flood the area
Copy !req
396. with neutralized
axion particles.
Copy !req
397. A fascinating theory.
Copy !req
398. I do not believe anyone has
ever attempted such a solution.
Copy !req
399. Do it.
Copy !req
400. Trust me.
Copy !req
401. Gordon, get us out of here.
Copy !req
402. My god.
Copy !req
403. Sir! The impacts have severely
weakened our deflectors.
Copy !req
404. Structural damage is imminent.
Copy !req
405. - Gordon, what are our options?
- Captain, I've never
Copy !req
406. even seen a dark matter storm,
let alone flown through one.
Copy !req
407. I can do it.
Copy !req
408. What?
Copy !req
409. I've done it before.
Copy !req
410. Just give me helm control.
Copy !req
411. Ed.
Copy !req
412. Gordon?
Copy !req
413. Might as well, captain.
Copy !req
414. This is above my pay grade.
Copy !req
415. Deflectors are gone, sir.
Copy !req
416. One more hit
could destroy the Orville.
Copy !req
417. Do it.
Copy !req
418. Pound it.
Copy !req
419. What's the damage?
Copy !req
420. Communications arrays
have been destroyed, but,
Copy !req
421. otherwise, we are intact.
Copy !req
422. Are communications
completely down?
Copy !req
423. Affirmative. Total blackout.
Copy !req
424. We'll have to make a stop
at outpost 49 for repairs.
Copy !req
425. That's five days off course.
Copy !req
426. Well you know,
there's a consortium base
Copy !req
427. only a day away from here.
Copy !req
428. I have some friends there,
and I'm sure they'll be happy
Copy !req
429. to refit your communications
array. Plus, you can
Copy !req
430. drop me off,
I'll be out of your hair.
Copy !req
431. It's the least I can do
Copy !req
432. after everything
you've done for me.
Copy !req
433. Well, you just saved our ship.
Copy !req
434. I think we're even.
Copy !req
435. But that would save
us a lot of time.
Copy !req
436. Great. I'll give your navigator
the coordinates.
Copy !req
437. You're letting her dictate
our course now, too?
Copy !req
438. If we needed any more proof
Copy !req
439. that she can be trusted,
we just got it.
Copy !req
440. I want to show you something.
Copy !req
441. It's breathtaking.
Copy !req
442. What's the name of
the planet again?
Copy !req
443. Unuk four.
Copy !req
444. Our environmental simulator
doesn't really do it justice,
Copy !req
445. but you get the idea.
Copy !req
446. Have you ever been there?
Copy !req
447. No, it's offlimits because
the people are nightmarish.
Copy !req
448. They capture outsiders and then
sacrifice them to a raccoon god
Copy !req
449. by methodically
dismembering them.
Copy !req
450. Wow. Yeah.
Copy !req
451. It's a stunning place, though.
Copy !req
452. Gorgeous place, yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
453. So, where'd you learn
all those piloting tricks?
Copy !req
454. I'm out there every day,
Copy !req
455. flying by the seat of my pants.
Copy !req
456. People like me have
to be creative.
Copy !req
457. Well, I like creative.
Copy !req
458. I, um...
Copy !req
459. I actually got out
of a rough marriage
Copy !req
460. not too long ago, so I...
Copy !req
461. I think maybe we should
take this slow.
Copy !req
462. Or... or that. That works, too.
Copy !req
463. Hey, I'm sorry if I
pushed you into something
Copy !req
464. you weren't ready for.
Copy !req
465. No, no, it's... That's good.
Copy !req
466. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
467. I just figure it's always easier
Copy !req
468. to talk in bed.
Copy !req
469. You know,
if we're being honest here,
Copy !req
470. I... should tell you
Copy !req
471. you're actually
the first person I've been with
Copy !req
472. since my divorce.
Copy !req
473. Wow.
Copy !req
474. That's no pressure for me there.
Copy !req
475. No, no, no, you were fine.
Copy !req
476. Better than fine. Really.
Copy !req
477. You were blue chip.
Copy !req
478. "Blue chip"? Yeah.
Copy !req
479. Your pillow talk's
a little rusty?
Copy !req
480. It is, isn't it? Yeah.
Copy !req
481. Yeah, okay, it's been
a while, sorry.
Copy !req
482. What happened with
your marriage?
Copy !req
483. If you don't want
to talk about it,
Copy !req
484. it's okay. No, it's...
Copy !req
485. It's fine. Um...
Copy !req
486. She cheated on me
Copy !req
487. with a retepsian.
Copy !req
488. You know what they are?
They got the blue skin,
Copy !req
489. they got the scales...
Copy !req
490. the stuff that comes out
of the forehead.
Copy !req
491. It's, like, a whole weird mess.
Copy !req
492. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
493. You must have been devastated.
Copy !req
494. I was.
Copy !req
495. But... I don't know,
at the same time
Copy !req
496. I knew it was coming.
Copy !req
497. I was working too much,
Copy !req
498. and I didn't give us
the time that we deserved.
Copy !req
499. Still, she could have just
asked you for a divorce.
Copy !req
500. To be cheated on,
Copy !req
501. man, that's...
Copy !req
502. There's nothing worse than that.
Copy !req
503. I haven't really trusted
anyone since then.
Copy !req
504. Until now.
Copy !req
505. All right.
Copy !req
506. All right, I'm up, I'm up.
Copy !req
507. How far are we from
the consortium base?
Copy !req
508. About two hours.
Copy !req
509. Keep forward scanners
at maximum.
Copy !req
510. Kelly, what are you looking for?
I don't know.
Copy !req
511. Trouble.
Copy !req
512. Isaac!
Copy !req
513. What the hell?
Copy !req
514. What happened to your leg?
Copy !req
515. He amputated t
Copy !req
516. while I was sleeping!
Copy !req
517. Ha ha. Got you. What?
Copy !req
518. I have retaliated.
Copy !req
519. That is my practical joke.
Copy !req
520. This isn't a joke,
you psychopath!
Copy !req
521. You dismembered me!
Copy !req
522. I am confused.
Copy !req
523. You said to be creative,
and you said to do it
Copy !req
524. when you least expected it.
Copy !req
525. I have adhered
to both directives.
Copy !req
526. Isaac, did you anesthetize
him in his sleep?
Copy !req
527. Of course, commander.
Copy !req
528. It would not do
to have him awaken
Copy !req
529. during the procedure.
Copy !req
530. Well, where the hell is it?
Copy !req
531. If you are referring
to your leg, I have hidden it.
Copy !req
532. Given its importance to you,
Copy !req
533. it seemed the most
humorous course of action.
Copy !req
534. Son of a bitch! I'll kill you!
Copy !req
535. Hey, hey, Gordon... I swear
to god, I'm gonna unplug you!
Copy !req
536. It'll be easier just to
have Dr. Finn regenerate it.
Copy !req
537. Alara, take him to sick bay.
Come on.
Copy !req
538. You're sick, dude. I mean it.
Copy !req
539. There is something really
friggin' wrong with you!
Copy !req
540. It seems I have
much to learn about humor.
Copy !req
541. What did I do wrong?
Copy !req
542. Well, Isaac,
you can't just cut off...
Copy !req
543. Captain, I think you and
commander Grayson
Copy !req
544. had better come to engineering.
Copy !req
545. Chief, what's the matter?
Copy !req
546. We found something strange
Copy !req
547. in the navigational relays.
Copy !req
548. We're on our way.
Copy !req
549. What is it, chief?
Copy !req
550. Yaphit was in the
navigational conduits
Copy !req
551. doing a maintenance check
when he found this.
Copy !req
552. That's the object
alara and I found
Copy !req
553. in pria's quarters.
Copy !req
554. Can you, um...
Can you remove it?
Copy !req
555. We tried. It's in tight.
Copy !req
556. We'd have to blast it out,
Copy !req
557. which could damage
the main relay.
Copy !req
558. Mercer to alara.
Meet us at pria's quarters.
Copy !req
559. Hey. What's going on?
Copy !req
560. We found something
in engineering.
Copy !req
561. We were hoping you could
tell us what it is.
Copy !req
562. Well, I see the cat's out
of the bag.
Copy !req
563. I think it's time
for you to tell us
Copy !req
564. who the hell you really are.
Copy !req
565. I'm from the 29th century,
Copy !req
566. about 400 years in your future.
Copy !req
567. When your ship encountered
that dark matter storm,
Copy !req
568. you were all supposed to die.
Copy !req
569. You honestly expect us to
believe you're a time traveler?
Copy !req
570. It's the truth.
Copy !req
571. I almost forgot.
Copy !req
572. What the hell?
Copy !req
573. Lamarr to captain.
Copy !req
574. What is it?
Copy !req
575. Sir, I've lost helm control.
Copy !req
576. Something else is driving
the ship.
Copy !req
577. Ooh, it's a handy little device.
Copy !req
578. It's actually what
piloted your ship
Copy !req
579. - through that dark matter storm.
- You're telling us
Copy !req
580. you came back in time
to save our lives?
Copy !req
581. Why?
Copy !req
582. I'm afraid it wasn't your lives
I wanted to save.
Copy !req
583. It was your ship.
Copy !req
584. Wait, if you really are from
the future, what possible use
Copy !req
585. could the Orville be to you?
Copy !req
586. I'm a dealer in artifacts.
Copy !req
587. Mint condition.
Copy !req
588. Mostly I sell
to private collectors.
Copy !req
589. I, and others who do
what I do, travel back
Copy !req
590. to a specific time and place
in which, say,
Copy !req
591. a ship like yours was destroyed.
Copy !req
592. I prevent the destruction,
Copy !req
593. then I take the ship
into the future
Copy !req
594. and I sell it
to the highest bidder.
Copy !req
595. What about the crews
of those ships?
Copy !req
596. Well, they're free
to live out their lives
Copy !req
597. as they see fit
in the 29th century.
Copy !req
598. Wait, we rescued you.
All of us were in danger.
Copy !req
599. Never... never mind about that.
Copy !req
600. What about the comet? A setup.
Copy !req
601. A quick and easy way
to get you to trust me.
Copy !req
602. Look, none of us were ever
in any real danger.
Copy !req
603. We can do things
in my time that...
Copy !req
604. Well, you're gonna
find out for yourself.
Copy !req
605. Then why didn't you take control
of the ship right away?
Copy !req
606. You obviously had the power.
Copy !req
607. I'm a businesswoman,
not a soldier.
Copy !req
608. I like comfort and company,
Copy !req
609. and you've provided both.
Copy !req
610. I'm not just talking
about the food.
Copy !req
611. How do you do it...
Copy !req
612. Travel through time?
Copy !req
613. We found a stable wormhole
in the 29th century.
Copy !req
614. Those of us who are
in the business
Copy !req
615. learned to manipulate it.
Copy !req
616. This wormhole...
Copy !req
617. That's where we're headed.
Copy !req
618. I'm sorry I had to knock out
Copy !req
619. your communications array.
Copy !req
620. I couldn't have you
chatting anyone up
Copy !req
621. if you're supposed to be dead.
Copy !req
622. How many times
have you done this?
Copy !req
623. When we get to my century,
Copy !req
624. I'll introduce you
to Amelia earhart.
Copy !req
625. Would the two of you give me
a moment alone
Copy !req
626. with captain lavesque?
Copy !req
627. Should we take the leg?
Copy !req
628. Yes, take the leg. Get the...
Copy !req
629. And post a guard
on these quarters.
Copy !req
630. Aye, sir.
Copy !req
631. A guard won't matter.
Copy !req
632. Was it all just a lie?
Copy !req
633. Not all of it.
Copy !req
634. I did feel something for you.
Copy !req
635. You'll forgive me
Copy !req
636. if I have a hard time
believing that.
Copy !req
637. Ed, you were all going
to die anyway.
Copy !req
638. Now you'll have a
second chance to live
Copy !req
639. in a future full of wonders
Copy !req
640. you can't even imagine.
Copy !req
641. I'd still like to see
where you and I could go.
Copy !req
642. I know where you can go.
Copy !req
643. Where?
Copy !req
644. To hell.
Copy !req
645. Youyou can go to hell.
Copy !req
646. Is that an expression?
Copy !req
647. It is. In my century.
Copy !req
648. I've never heard it.
Copy !req
649. Well, it's... it's not good.
Copy !req
650. I do care about you.
Copy !req
651. Whether you believe me or not.
Copy !req
652. Kelly!
Copy !req
653. Kelly, wait.
Copy !req
654. Hey, listen, I don't want to
play the blame game here...
Copy !req
655. That's because you're
the one to blame.
Copy !req
656. Look, we all made mistakes.
Copy !req
657. Nobody made mistakes but you.
Copy !req
658. Let's not do the
"I told you so" thing.
Copy !req
659. I told you so, numerous times.
Okay, look.
Copy !req
660. Fine, you were right. Okay?
Copy !req
661. I'm sorry.
She was a bad seed. Andand
Copy !req
662. she caught me where I was
vulnerable, and I'm just,
Copy !req
663. I'm really, genuinely sorry.
Copy !req
664. Well, we're supposed
to be dead anyway,
Copy !req
665. so I guess it doesn't matter.
Copy !req
666. Hell, by temporal law,
Copy !req
667. we should probably
commit suicide
Copy !req
668. to keep the timeline intact.
Copy !req
669. Well, the timeline's
already been changed,
Copy !req
670. so slitting our wrists
wouldn't be any more correct
Copy !req
671. than the way things are now.
Copy !req
672. I'm glad we didn't die
while I was mad at you.
Copy !req
673. Me, too.
Copy !req
674. I might have an idea.
Copy !req
675. Damn it.
Copy !req
676. All right,
so that's not gonna work.
Copy !req
677. Could I make a suggestion?
Copy !req
678. What is it?
Copy !req
679. Oldstyle, antique
diamondtipped drill.
Copy !req
680. Was a graduation gift
from my uncle.
Copy !req
681. No fancy energy beams,
Copy !req
682. just good ole brute force.
Might work.
Copy !req
683. Could be too arcane
for the device to register.
Copy !req
684. Do it.
Copy !req
685. Bingo.
Copy !req
686. All right, Isaac,
it's all up to you.
Copy !req
687. I believe I have access
to the internal circuitry.
Copy !req
688. It is
Copy !req
689. quite sophisticated.
Copy !req
690. I have never encountered
anything like...
Copy !req
691. - Isaac!
- Isaac!
Copy !req
692. There's no internal activity
at all.
Copy !req
693. He's dead.
Copy !req
694. Is there anything you
can do for him, doc?
Copy !req
695. Gordon, I'm a doctor.
Copy !req
696. My expertise is in biology.
Copy !req
697. This is more like
fixing an engine.
Copy !req
698. It's a lot more complicated
Copy !req
699. than that, I'm afraid.
Copy !req
700. Let's recheck the database.
Copy !req
701. We don't know much about him,
Copy !req
702. but maybe there's
something we missed.
Copy !req
703. Hey, buddy.
Copy !req
704. I don't know if you're in there,
or if you can hear me, but...
Copy !req
705. I know the last time I saw you
I called you a son of a bitch.
Copy !req
706. I was just angry
'cause you took my leg.
Copy !req
707. But, when I really stopped
to think about it,
Copy !req
708. that was honest to god
the best damn practical joke
Copy !req
709. I've ever seen in my life.
Copy !req
710. I just...
Copy !req
711. I just wanted you to know that.
Copy !req
712. Mercer to Malloy
Copy !req
713. Malloy here.
Copy !req
714. I need you on the bridge.
Copy !req
715. Seriously?
Copy !req
716. Captain, we're approaching
the coordinates.
Copy !req
717. Reporting as ordered, sir.
Copy !req
718. - Gordon, take the helm.
- Captain,
Copy !req
719. his limb regeneration
is incomplete.
Copy !req
720. If I could just...
I need him here.
Copy !req
721. Particularly with Isaac down.
Copy !req
722. If we have any chance
of getting out this,
Copy !req
723. I need everyone at their station.
Captain?
Copy !req
724. I think we've arrived.
Copy !req
725. What the hell?
Copy !req
726. Sorry to barge in like this,
Copy !req
727. it's just... we're approaching
the rendezvous point.
Copy !req
728. Captain, I can put her to sleep
Copy !req
729. real quick, just say the word.
Copy !req
730. Hold up on that.
Copy !req
731. Well, it's good to know
teleportation is in our future.
Copy !req
732. You can take a breath in
New York and exhale it in Paris.
Copy !req
733. Pria, listen,
Copy !req
734. give me back my ship.
Copy !req
735. We'll give you a shuttle,
you can take it
Copy !req
736. through the wormhole
to your own time.
Copy !req
737. But there are 300 people
on board the Orville
Copy !req
738. who have lives in this century.
Copy !req
739. They have families here.
Copy !req
740. You still don't get it.
Copy !req
741. You all died.
Copy !req
742. If I were to let you go,
Copy !req
743. I'd be the one altering
the timeline.
Copy !req
744. Captain,
Copy !req
745. we're heading through.
Copy !req
746. What is that?
Copy !req
747. Lavesque to binzian ship.
Copy !req
748. I have the merchandise,
as promised.
Copy !req
749. Poz shivik, zars lavesque.
Shto kavak lo?
Copy !req
750. Couple of scratches.
Copy !req
751. Nothing that would affect the
value in any significant way.
Copy !req
752. Regardless, I'll be happy
to negotiate the price.
Copy !req
753. Shtak fehvor zemik,
dosh mook fillory vem.
Copy !req
754. Of course.
Copy !req
755. Nobody's trying
to stiff you here.
Copy !req
756. Pohzhy revost deck ferenos.
Copy !req
757. Ofor feclis eez meseem.
Copy !req
758. Always like to keep
the customer happy.
Copy !req
759. No! What the hell are you...?
Copy !req
760. Helm control is back online.
Copy !req
761. Gordon, get us out of here.
Copy !req
762. Transfer all power
to the sublight drive.
Copy !req
763. Sir, the alien ship
is powering up
Copy !req
764. some kind of a tractor beam.
Copy !req
765. John, modulate the deflector frequency
as fast as you can. Aye, sir.
Copy !req
766. Nice sucker punch.
Copy !req
767. I'd expect that from a woman
who cheats on her husband.
Copy !req
768. You told her?
Copy !req
769. No. No, I didn't tell her.
Copy !req
770. She... she knows
Copy !req
771. 'cause she's from the future.
Copy !req
772. But it's in the past.
Copy !req
773. I told her.
Alara, take her to the brig.
Copy !req
774. Come on.
Copy !req
775. Isaac, you there?
Copy !req
776. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
777. My algorithms were
successfully transferred
Copy !req
778. to the ship's computer
Copy !req
779. before the energy burst.
Copy !req
780. I trust my physical body
is still intact.
Copy !req
781. It's a little toasty,
but it's all in one piece.
Copy !req
782. Nice touch with
the junior mints.
Copy !req
783. I felt it prudent to alert you
of my success
Copy !req
784. in a fashion that would not
appear obvious
Copy !req
785. if pria were to see it.
Copy !req
786. Captain, can I go finish
my leg now?
Copy !req
787. Yeah, go ahead.
Copy !req
788. Thank you.
Copy !req
789. Come on.
Copy !req
790. Well, I'll tell you one thing,
Copy !req
791. never again will
I make the mistake
Copy !req
792. of not trusting
my first officer.
Copy !req
793. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
794. Come in.
Copy !req
795. Thanks, alara. You can go.
Copy !req
796. I'll be outside
if there's any trouble.
Copy !req
797. We'll be fine.
Copy !req
798. Isaac tells me this is
what you used to teleport.
Copy !req
799. Congratulations,
Copy !req
800. you have technology
from the future.
Copy !req
801. I suppose you're gonna
crack it open and study it.
Copy !req
802. No.
Copy !req
803. Unlike you, we don't mess
with the timeline.
Copy !req
804. Well,
Copy !req
805. what happens now?
Copy !req
806. You know what the most
depressing part about this is?
Copy !req
807. I allowed myself
to care about you,
Copy !req
808. and you used me.
Copy !req
809. And despite all of your claims
that you still care about me,
Copy !req
810. not once have you even said,
"I'm sorry."
Copy !req
811. It's a good rule in life
never to apologize.
Copy !req
812. The right kind of people
never want apologies,
Copy !req
813. and the wrong kind
take advantage of them.
Copy !req
814. Fair enough.
Copy !req
815. It doesn't have to end.
Copy !req
816. Just come with me.
Copy !req
817. If the Orville continues
to exist,
Copy !req
818. who knows how it will
affect the timeline?
Copy !req
819. The Orville was supposed
to be destroyed
Copy !req
820. in that dark matter storm.
Copy !req
821. You changed those events,
not us.
Copy !req
822. And as far as how that
affects your future time,
Copy !req
823. I don't give a damn.
Copy !req
824. According to Isaac,
Copy !req
825. as long as the wormhole exists,
Copy !req
826. the quantum potentiality
is open.
Copy !req
827. Many sets of future events
are possible.
Copy !req
828. But, if we destroy it,
we choose a path.
Copy !req
829. There's no chance of us
returning to your future,
Copy !req
830. and the Orville goes on
to live its life.
Copy !req
831. Which means
Copy !req
832. that pria lavesque
will have no reason
Copy !req
833. to come back into our past.
Copy !req
834. And you and I will never
have met.
Copy !req
835. You'd still be that
messed up guy
Copy !req
836. who can't get over his exwife.
Copy !req
837. Is that what you really want?
Copy !req
838. Mercer to bridge.
Copy !req
839. Fire.
Copy !req
840. Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
Copy !req