1. It's time to blast off
with the Orville.Copy !req
2. - Is that a beer?
- I'm nervous. It's a new ship.
Want to make a good impression.Copy !req
3. It's 9:15 in the morning.Copy !req
4. Catch all-new episodes
Thursdays.Copy !req
5. And check out our other
fox programs— the gifted,Copy !req
6. ghosted, and family guy.Copy !req
7. Oh, my god!Copy !req
8. Only on fox.Copy !req
9. Oh, no.Copy !req
10. Ed.Copy !req
11. - Ed, wait, please, ed.
- Nope, nope, nope.Copy !req
12. Ed, just listen to
me for one second.
Whatever you're gonna say,Copy !req
13. I don't want to hear it.
Give me a minute.Copy !req
14. Let's just talk, please.
Kel, there's nothing
to talk about.Copy !req
15. Yes, there is.
This was a mistake.
There's
nothing at all to talk about.Copy !req
16. I'm done.
Just give me one minute, ed.Copy !req
17. I'm done.
Ed.Copy !req
18. Come in.Copy !req
19. You wanted to see me, admiral.Copy !req
20. Ah, ed.Copy !req
21. Have a seat.Copy !req
22. I have good news.Copy !req
23. There's a ship available.Copy !req
24. It's a mid-level craft.Copy !req
25. The USS Orville.Copy !req
26. It's not exactly
a heavy cruiser,Copy !req
27. but it is
an exploratory vessel.Copy !req
28. And we're offering you command.Copy !req
29. You're kidding.Copy !req
30. Honestly, we would've
offered you a command earlier,Copy !req
31. but you haven't really
inspired anyoneCopy !req
32. with all that much confidence
this past year.Copy !req
33. I know, I ha...
I've had some personal stuffCopy !req
34. that's been going on; It's not
really worth going into.Copy !req
35. Can I have one of these mints?Copy !req
36. Those are marbles.Copy !req
37. Ed, I remember when
you were at union point.Copy !req
38. You were at the top
of your class.Copy !req
39. Your teachers all thoughtCopy !req
40. you'd be captaining
a heavy cruiser before 40.Copy !req
41. But this past year,
the-the... tardiness,Copy !req
42. the sloppiness.Copy !req
43. My god,
you've been put on reportCopy !req
44. for coming into work
hungover six times.Copy !req
45. Look, the truth is,Copy !req
46. you're nobody's first choice
for this job.Copy !req
47. But we have 3,000 ships
to staff, and we need captains.Copy !req
48. We're giving you
one last chance.Copy !req
49. I just need to know
that you're ready.Copy !req
50. Look, admiral,
ever since I was a kid,Copy !req
51. I have wanted to serve
on an exploratory vessel.Copy !req
52. And for you to put me
in the captain's chair...Copy !req
53. Yes, I'm-I'm ready.Copy !req
54. You can count on me.
Good to hear.Copy !req
55. Now, the Orville has
a nearly-full crew complement.Copy !req
56. Her previous captain
retired this month.Copy !req
57. But she's still short
a helmsman and a first officer.Copy !req
58. We're waiting for an xo
to become available.Copy !req
59. Well, you know, I can get you
the best helmsman in the fleet.Copy !req
60. You mean lieutenant Malloy.Copy !req
61. I'm aware you two are friends.Copy !req
62. Look, I-I knowCopy !req
63. Gordon has his issues,
but we all know there's nobodyCopy !req
64. who can drive a starship
like him.Copy !req
65. Didn't he once draw a penisCopy !req
66. on the main viewing screen
of outpost t85?Copy !req
67. He's drawn a lot of penises on
a lot of things, but, admiral,Copy !req
68. if you were caught
in an ion storm,Copy !req
69. who would you want at the helm?Copy !req
70. Well, if you think
you can keep him focused,Copy !req
71. it's your ship, captain Mercer.Copy !req
72. Ah!Copy !req
73. Oh, hey, ed.Copy !req
74. Ah! Hey, give me one sec.Copy !req
75. What's going on here?
Oh, this is a program I wroteCopy !req
76. where you can battle an ogre
in a samurai village.Copy !req
77. It's pretty cool, right?Copy !req
78. Yeah.
Yeah. He's a badass fighter,Copy !req
79. but I gave him
a really neat personality.Copy !req
80. Hey, dude, this is my buddy ed.Copy !req
81. Hey, ed, nice to meet you.
I'm Justin.
How are you?Copy !req
82. Oh, great, super, always.Copy !req
83. Oh, it's such a treat to meet
one of Gordon's friends.Copy !req
84. So, what's going on?
Gordon, I got a ship.Copy !req
85. No... freaking... way!Copy !req
86. The Orville,
mid-level exploratory,Copy !req
87. and she needs a helmsman.Copy !req
88. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Are you serious?
Are you ready?Copy !req
89. Dude, I was born ready.Copy !req
90. This is crazy. Holy crap.Copy !req
91. Justin, we got a ship.Copy !req
92. I am so excited
for you guys right now.Copy !req
93. I mean, do you just feel,
like, so blessed?Copy !req
94. We'll take a
shuttle up at 0900.
Sweet.Copy !req
95. Oh, hey, Justin,
you got a ladybug on you.
Oh, neat.Copy !req
96. Ah!Copy !req
97. Male automated voice:
You win!Copy !req
98. So, how many ships
in the fleet these days?Copy !req
99. About 3,000, spread over
the whole quadrant, which,Copy !req
100. when you think about the size of
the galaxy, is actually not...Copy !req
101. What is that?
Is that a beer?
Yeah.Copy !req
102. You're drinking a beer?
Yeah, I'm nervous.Copy !req
103. You know, it's a new ship,
want to make a good impression.Copy !req
104. It's 9:15 in the morning.
Give it to me.
No.Copy !req
105. Give me that right— you
can't have that when we dock.
No. Dude, it's-it's one beer.Copy !req
106. What, are you worried
we're gonna crash?
I'm worried about my job.Copy !req
107. Oh, no.
All right, I'm worried...
This is very important to me.Copy !req
108. Oh, boy.
What are you doing?Copy !req
109. Oh, I hope we don't crash.
What are you doing?Copy !req
110. Stop. Gordon, stop it. Knock...
Whoa. This is like...Copy !req
111. Gordon, knock it off right now.
This is not safe.Copy !req
112. I realize I was just wasted.
This is not funny or safe.Copy !req
113. Knock it off right now.
This is like my first beer ever,Copy !req
114. and the sensations
are all new to me.
I'm literally ordering youCopy !req
115. to stop. Take your...
I hope we don't...Copy !req
116. Sorry.Copy !req
117. I'm good.Copy !req
118. is that it?Copy !req
119. It's not bad, right?
No, it's good.Copy !req
120. You paint some flames
on the side, maybeCopy !req
121. like a rainbow unicorn,
you got something.Copy !req
122. Take us in.Copy !req
123. ed:
So, to sum up,Copy !req
124. I just want to say I am thrilled
to be your new captain.Copy !req
125. I want this to be
an efficient ship, tightly run,Copy !req
126. but also one that you're glad
to be serving on.Copy !req
127. Everyone but the senior officers
is dismissed.Copy !req
128. Automated female voice:
Orville engineering,Copy !req
129. continue launch prep.Copy !req
130. All right, lieutenant alara
kitan, our chief of security.Copy !req
131. Yes, sir.Copy !req
132. You're xelayan, right?Copy !req
133. I am, sir.
Wait.Copy !req
134. Don't you guys have,
like, super strength?Copy !req
135. Xelaya's gravitational pull
is highCopy !req
136. compared
to the planetary average,Copy !req
137. so, yes, in earth
normal gravity,Copy !req
138. my physical strength
is elevated.Copy !req
139. Lieutenant, how old are you?Copy !req
140. 23.
You're 23,
and you're chiefCopy !req
141. of security on a starship?Copy !req
142. Xelayans don't usually
join the military,Copy !req
143. so when one of us does, the
union generally fast-tracks us.Copy !req
144. Well, I'm-I'm sure
they know what they're doing.Copy !req
145. Sir, I-I know I'm notCopy !req
146. as experienced
as you were expecting,Copy !req
147. but you can count on me.Copy !req
148. I hope so. Lieutenant
John lamarr, our navigator.Copy !req
149. How's it
going, John?Copy !req
150. Eh, it's going, man.
How's it going with you?Copy !req
151. It's going good.
It says hereCopy !req
152. you're a level-eight
helmsman, too.Copy !req
153. That's pretty impressive.
Yeah, that-that's right.Copy !req
154. Uh, so, our last captain
let us have sodaCopy !req
155. on the bridge
while we were working,Copy !req
156. and I just want to make sure
that's still okay.Copy !req
157. Uh, yeah, if you keep it
below the equipmentCopy !req
158. and don't spill any, sure.Copy !req
159. Oh, dig it. Boom.Copy !req
160. All right, uh,
lieutenant commander bortus,Copy !req
161. our second officer.Copy !req
162. You know, I've never met
a single-gender species before.Copy !req
163. Your entire species
is male, isn't it?Copy !req
164. That is correct, sir.Copy !req
165. So, there's probably not
a lot of arguments about...Copy !req
166. Leaving the toilet seat up
and that kind of thing, right?
No.Copy !req
167. Moclans urinate
only once per year.Copy !req
168. Really? That's...Copy !req
169. Me, I'm-I'm up two,
three times a night.Copy !req
170. That is unfortunate.Copy !req
171. It is.Copy !req
172. Dr. Claire Finn.Copy !req
173. You're my chief
medical officer, yes?Copy !req
174. Yes, sir, I am.
Welcome aboard.Copy !req
175. Your credentials
are exceptional.Copy !req
176. "Molecular surgery,
DNA engineering,Copy !req
177. psychiatry." You could be
posted on a heavy cruiser.Copy !req
178. What are you doing
on the Orville?Copy !req
179. I always request
my transfersCopy !req
180. based on where I think
I'm needed.Copy !req
181. I feel more stimulated that way.Copy !req
182. And so what made you
request this ship?Copy !req
183. Well, this is
your first command, andCopy !req
184. I think you could use my help.Copy !req
185. So you think I might screw up.Copy !req
186. No, sir, I didn't say that, sir.Copy !req
187. Well, no, but you implied
that you don't thinkCopy !req
188. I have the balls to do this job.Copy !req
189. Well, I am your doctor, sir,Copy !req
190. and if your balls are under par,
I'll know.Copy !req
191. All right.Copy !req
192. And finally, Isaac,Copy !req
193. our science and
engineering officer,Copy !req
194. hailing from kaylon 1.Copy !req
195. Affirmative, sir.Copy !req
196. You know, I got to tell you,
I was surprisedCopy !req
197. to see any kaylon serving
in the fleet.Copy !req
198. Aren't you guys
legendarily racist?Copy !req
199. My planet regards humans
and other biological life-formsCopy !req
200. as inferior,
if that is your inference.Copy !req
201. Oh, that's great.
Thanks.Copy !req
202. You are welcome.Copy !req
203. So what are you doing
on a union ship?Copy !req
204. Your fleet's admiralty
offered a postingCopy !req
205. to any kaylon willing
to take it.Copy !req
206. As an effort to
initiate relationsCopy !req
207. between kaylon and
the union, we accepted.Copy !req
208. I was chosen to
represent my planet.Copy !req
209. I see it as an ideal opportunity
to study human behavior.Copy !req
210. Well, we'll, uh... we'll
try not to bore you.Copy !req
211. You will find me
to be your most capable officer.Copy !req
212. All right, everybody settle in.Copy !req
213. We ship out
this afternoon.Copy !req
214. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
215. Hey, man, come on in.Copy !req
216. Figured I'd introduce myself
since we're gonna be workingCopy !req
217. full shifts together.Copy !req
218. You want to
make sure I'm not a jerk.Copy !req
219. Something like that.Copy !req
220. Dude, I'm such a jerk,
it's ridiculous.Copy !req
221. Okay, well, so am I,
so this is gonna work out great.Copy !req
222. Gordon Malloy.
John lamarr.Copy !req
223. Cool.Copy !req
224. So, I heard you've been out
of commission for a minute.Copy !req
225. Well, not out of commission,
but, uh,Copy !req
226. definitely kept
on desk duty.
Well, what'd you do?Copy !req
227. I mean, your piloting skills
are kind of legendary.Copy !req
228. How'd you get suspended?Copy !req
229. I let my cousin shoot a pornoCopy !req
230. in the back of a shuttle
in exchange for some pills.Copy !req
231. W-wait. No. R-really?Copy !req
232. Man, look at your face.Copy !req
233. No, no, no, I did a,
I did a manual overrideCopy !req
234. on a tricky shuttle dockingCopy !req
235. and sheared off
a cargo bay door.Copy !req
236. Yeah, nobody was hurt,
but 300 cratesCopy !req
237. of authentic Autumn squash
were sucked into space.Copy !req
238. Well, that's a lot
of damn squash.Copy !req
239. Yeah. I was trying
to impress a girl.Copy !req
240. Ah, I can respect that.Copy !req
241. Needless to say it didn't
go over too well.Copy !req
242. If it weren't for ed,
I probably wouldn'tCopy !req
243. be back at the helm for a lot
longer than this, if ever.Copy !req
244. Well, just steer with your head
from now on,Copy !req
245. and you'll be okay.Copy !req
246. Yeah.Copy !req
247. See you on the bridge.Copy !req
248. I wish I could give you
something more excitingCopy !req
249. for your maiden voyage,
but it's pretty straightforward.Copy !req
250. You'll be delivering suppliesCopy !req
251. to the science station
on epsilon 2.Copy !req
252. Hey, sir, I'm not
complaining.Copy !req
253. It'll be great
just to be out there.Copy !req
254. Uh, is there any word yet
on a first officer?Copy !req
255. I should have an update
in a few hours.Copy !req
256. Sounds like you won't have
to wait much longer.Copy !req
257. Safe travels, captain.Copy !req
258. Captain.Copy !req
259. Captain, we've received
the green lightCopy !req
260. from dockyard tower, and
we're cleared for departure.Copy !req
261. Tell them we're good to go.Copy !req
262. Lieutenant Malloy, take us out.Copy !req
263. Aye, sir.
Departing dockyard.Copy !req
264. dockyard perimeter cleared.Copy !req
265. Set course for epsilon
and engage quantum drive.Copy !req
266. Course set, drive engaged.Copy !req
267. 19 hours, 51 minutes.Copy !req
268. I've never been to
the epsilon science station.Copy !req
269. What's it like?
Epsilon 2 is an outpostCopy !req
270. devoted exclusively
to scientific inquiry.Copy !req
271. Ed:
ResearchersCopy !req
272. from all over the galaxy
petition to work there.Copy !req
273. Really? Wow.Copy !req
274. Any good bars?Copy !req
275. I will investigate.Copy !req
276. No, bortus, you don't have
to investigate that.Copy !req
277. I have already obtained
the information.Copy !req
278. Oh.
Shall I withhold it?Copy !req
279. No, you can tell us.Copy !req
280. There are no bars.Copy !req
281. How about strip clubs?Copy !req
282. Gordon.
Sorry.Copy !req
283. There are no strip clubs.Copy !req
284. Captain, there's a message
coming inCopy !req
285. from admiral halsey.Copy !req
286. It says that
an executive officerCopy !req
287. has become available
and can rendezvousCopy !req
288. with the Orville
at station 794.Copy !req
289. That's great.
That's barely out of our way.Copy !req
290. Who is it?Copy !req
291. He wants me to forward it
to you privately.Copy !req
292. All right, send it
to my station.Copy !req
293. No.Copy !req
294. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
295. What's the matter?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,Copy !req
296. no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
297. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
298. Ah, crap!
Sorry, man, you okay?Copy !req
299. Yeah, it's all good, man.
You okay?Copy !req
300. Yeah, all good. Sorry.
All right, no worries.Copy !req
301. Calm down, ed, and be
professional about this.Copy !req
302. Oh, please,
there is nothing at allCopy !req
303. professional
about this situation.Copy !req
304. Okay, this is my ex-wife,Copy !req
305. who I have not seen
since my divorceCopy !req
306. a year ago after I walked in on
her banging a retepsian.Copy !req
307. I know this isn't ideal,Copy !req
308. but she's the only qualified
xo available.Copy !req
309. And the staff profile
compatibility programCopy !req
310. indicated your skill sets
complement hers.Copy !req
311. Oh, it did? See if your
compatibility programCopy !req
312. can get blue
out of a white lampshade.Copy !req
313. Ed, you need
to calm yourself here.Copy !req
314. God, I can't even believe
this is happening.Copy !req
315. Look, she is the only
current option,Copy !req
316. and if you make a stink
about an xo assignmentCopy !req
317. one day into your first command,Copy !req
318. with your record,Copy !req
319. it's not gonna look good.Copy !req
320. And you're telling me
she's okay with this?Copy !req
321. Ed, she requested it.Copy !req
322. Sir, shuttle bay reportsCopy !req
323. the xo's shuttle has docked.Copy !req
324. Can you tell her to come
straight to my office?Copy !req
325. Aye, sir.Copy !req
326. The captain does not
appear to be pleasedCopy !req
327. at the arrival
of his first officer.Copy !req
328. Why is this?Copy !req
329. 'Cause she's a total bitch.Copy !req
330. Do you know her?Copy !req
331. Oh, yeah.
They were married.Copy !req
332. No way.Copy !req
333. She cheated on him.
Aw, damn, that's cold.Copy !req
334. Yeah, so this should be
a really fun trip for all of us.Copy !req
335. Your description
of the occurrenceCopy !req
336. indicates unpleasantness,Copy !req
337. yet you believe it will be fun.Copy !req
338. I was being sarcastic.
It's gonna suck.Copy !req
339. Suck?
Yeah, suck.
You know, like, ass, balls.Copy !req
340. What he means is,
if you don't already drink,Copy !req
341. you should probably start.Copy !req
342. Perhaps we should not
be talking about this.Copy !req
343. Oh, no, no, no, we're,
we're talking about this.Copy !req
344. It does not seem
appropriate.Copy !req
345. Oh, no, we're definitely
talking about it.Copy !req
346. Th-th-this is a thing.Copy !req
347. Come in.Copy !req
348. Hi.Copy !req
349. Hi.Copy !req
350. Can I come in?Copy !req
351. It's a nice office.Copy !req
352. Thank you.Copy !req
353. Did you pick out the furniture?Copy !req
354. You know, I didn't,
but if you're reallyCopy !req
355. interested in the furniture,
I'd be happy to getCopy !req
356. all the information
I can about it.Copy !req
357. I could have somebody
compile a full reportCopy !req
358. and have it sent to your
quarters this afternoon.Copy !req
359. Maybe you'd find something nice
for your new apartment.Copy !req
360. Are you all finished?Copy !req
361. Well, you know, I thought I was,Copy !req
362. but, apparently, you're not.Copy !req
363. Ed...Copy !req
364. I can't apologize enough.Copy !req
365. I know it doesn't
matter to you,Copy !req
366. but I-I am sorrier
for what I did to youCopy !req
367. than anything I've ever
done in my entire life.Copy !req
368. You know, I've doneCopy !req
369. a pretty good job
getting over all thisCopy !req
370. in the past year,Copy !req
371. and I'm over it,
so why don't you tell meCopy !req
372. what the hell you're doing here?Copy !req
373. I heard about
your promotion.Copy !req
374. I also heard there was
no xo available,Copy !req
375. and you know how the
fleet admirals are.Copy !req
376. They don't like to see a captain
on his own for too long.Copy !req
377. And I figured
I'd wronged you so badlyCopy !req
378. that if there was something
good I could do for you,Copy !req
379. it'd help me atone in some way.Copy !req
380. So I requested a transfer.Copy !req
381. I literally bailed on my own
crewmates to come here.Copy !req
382. Well, you bailed
on a whole marriage,Copy !req
383. so I imagine that was
a piece of cake for you, huh?Copy !req
384. Ed, look, I'm not saying
what I did wasn't disgraceful,Copy !req
385. but I only did it
because I didn't have you.Copy !req
386. There it is.
How long did that take you?Copy !req
387. How many minutes
into this conversation?
You were working nonstop.Copy !req
388. Okay, there were
entire daysCopy !req
389. I wouldn't see you.
Yeah, I was working for us,Copy !req
390. Kelly, for you and I.
That— you know this.Copy !req
391. I didn't ask you to do that.Copy !req
392. Okay? Y-you just shut off
from our relationship.Copy !req
393. I-I didn't know
how to handle it.Copy !req
394. So you banged papa smurf
in our bed.Copy !req
395. That's one way to handle it.
Darulio was there
when you weren't.Copy !req
396. And you know how
many times I triedCopy !req
397. to talk to you, but you just
kept putting me off?Copy !req
398. Whe-when did you try
to talk to me?Copy !req
399. So many times.
Where it wasn't,
like, an insidious,Copy !req
400. subtle, sarcastic...
Either you weren't hearing meCopy !req
401. or you weren't around
at all, but I did try.Copy !req
402. I was the one who suggested
couples counseling.Copy !req
403. Couples counseling?Copy !req
404. The therapist was
your brother-in-law.Copy !req
405. Look, this— okay— this shipCopy !req
406. is what I've been waiting for
my entire career.Copy !req
407. My entire life.Copy !req
408. So why are you doing this to me?Copy !req
409. As soon as another xo
becomes available,Copy !req
410. I'll be the one
to request a transfer.Copy !req
411. Whoa, hey.Copy !req
412. Hi there.Copy !req
413. I was just on my
way to the John.Copy !req
414. Well, I'm-I'm glad
I bumped into you.Copy !req
415. Do you have a second?Copy !req
416. Sure. I can hold it.Copy !req
417. Okay. Gordon,
I just want to make sure...
You know what?Copy !req
418. You should probably call
me lieutenant Malloy,Copy !req
419. seeing as how you're
my boss now... sir.Copy !req
420. Right. Lieutenant.Copy !req
421. I just want to
make sure thatCopy !req
422. everything's all right
between us.Copy !req
423. I mean, I'm assuming that
you and ed are still close.Copy !req
424. Yeah.Copy !req
425. Yeah, and...Copy !req
426. What happened between ed and I,
that— it was a mistake.Copy !req
427. A big one.
And, um,Copy !req
428. I guess I just want to know
that you're gonna be okayCopy !req
429. taking orders from me.Copy !req
430. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, no, no.Copy !req
431. I'm a professional,
don't worry about that.Copy !req
432. That's good to hear.Copy !req
433. Actually, the folks
up on the bridgeCopy !req
434. were asking
about you earlier,Copy !req
435. and I was telling them
you're actuallyCopy !req
436. a really cool person.
Really?Copy !req
437. I kind of primed the pump
for you up there, you know.Copy !req
438. All good vibes.Copy !req
439. That's very magnanimous
of you.Copy !req
440. I got you.
I got you.Copy !req
441. So, um,
permission to pee?Copy !req
442. Oh.:
Granted, yes.Copy !req
443. Sweet, sweet.Copy !req
444. Hey, I'm gonna go look up
what "magnanimous" means.Copy !req
445. Great.
Great.Copy !req
446. I mean, pee first, though.Copy !req
447. Priorities.Copy !req
448. You know it.Copy !req
449. entering orbit
of epsilon 2.Copy !req
450. Lieutenant kitan,Copy !req
451. signal them we're ready.Copy !req
452. Aye, commander.Copy !req
453. Man, you could cut
the tension with a knife.Copy !req
454. Do not make eye contact.Copy !req
455. Orville to epsilon
science station.Copy !req
456. We're here and ready
to bring down supplies.Copy !req
457. Orville, this is Dr. aronov.Copy !req
458. I am chief of this facility.Copy !req
459. May I speak to your captain?Copy !req
460. Put him on the viewer.Copy !req
461. Dr. aronov, this is
captain ed Mercer.Copy !req
462. We're about to start
sending down your supplies.Copy !req
463. Actually, captain,
we-we don't need any supplies.Copy !req
464. I-I don't understand.Copy !req
465. You requested these
supplies yourself, yeah?Copy !req
466. I did.Copy !req
467. I'm sorry.Copy !req
468. I-I wouldn't have lied
unless I had to.Copy !req
469. Please, come down
to the surface.Copy !req
470. I will explain everything.Copy !req
471. This is really strange.Copy !req
472. Yeah, it's a great way
to start things off.Copy !req
473. Bortus, you have the conn.Copy !req
474. Lieutenant,
you're with us.Copy !req
475. You see that dog
in the backgroundCopy !req
476. licking his balls?Copy !req
477. First thing I saw.Copy !req
478. Prepare for Orville
shuttle arrival, bay 3.Copy !req
479. Captain Mercer.Copy !req
480. Welcome to epsilon 2.Copy !req
481. Thank you for coming.
Dr. aronov.Copy !req
482. This is my security chief,
alara kitan.
Hi.Copy !req
483. My chief medical officer,
Claire Finn.
Pleasure.Copy !req
484. And my ex-wife,
Kelly Grayson.Copy !req
485. I'm his first officer.Copy !req
486. Ah.Copy !req
487. But if any of your
research teamCopy !req
488. needs an artless,
jabby-nail shoulder massage,Copy !req
489. she's the best there is.Copy !req
490. Doctor, you want to tell us
why you falsely divertedCopy !req
491. a starship on active duty?Copy !req
492. You know you could
do time for that.Copy !req
493. We need protection.Copy !req
494. Protection from what?Copy !req
495. The krill.Copy !req
496. There have been no krill
ships sighted in this area.Copy !req
497. Come inside. I'll explain.Copy !req
498. Wow. No wonder
they call this placeCopy !req
499. the scientists'
playground.Copy !req
500. Incredible, isn't it?
Yeah.Copy !req
501. Here. Follow me through
the botany lab.Copy !req
502. We're doing genetic research
and development hereCopy !req
503. that will change
the face of the galaxy.Copy !req
504. Is that one of
your projects?Copy !req
505. No, no, that's Dr. jorvik,
our chief botanist.Copy !req
506. Keep up, please.Copy !req
507. What sort of research
are you doing here?Copy !req
508. Oh, well, uh...Copy !req
509. This is a redwood seed.Copy !req
510. Looks pretty ordinary, yes?
Sure.Copy !req
511. Well, this seed has been
genetically engineeredCopy !req
512. with tardigrade DNA,Copy !req
513. which means it can survive
and grow in anything.Copy !req
514. Rock, metal, sand.Copy !req
515. It can exist a hundred
years without water.Copy !req
516. You can toss this seed in
the middle of the Sahara,Copy !req
517. and in a century you'll
have a towering redwood.Copy !req
518. That's really impressive.Copy !req
519. And as a bonus,
a healthy snack.Copy !req
520. Here, try some.Copy !req
521. Yeah, it's very tasty.Copy !req
522. Listen, Dr. aronov,
why are we here?Copy !req
523. I couldn't tell you the real
reason we needed a union shipCopy !req
524. because I couldn't riskCopy !req
525. divulging the information
over open communications.Copy !req
526. This way.Copy !req
527. This is Janice Lee, one of our
most brilliant young physicists.Copy !req
528. Hello.
Hi.Copy !req
529. Janice has been experimenting
with temporal fieldsCopy !req
530. and has made—
well, a breakthroughCopy !req
531. would be an understatement.Copy !req
532. So, it's
an anti-banana ray?Copy !req
533. It's really interesting.Copy !req
534. We need no longer
fear the banana.Copy !req
535. Does it work on all fruit?
What about salads?Copy !req
536. Do you understand what happened
to this banana?Copy !req
537. It's rottenCopy !req
538. because a month has passed.Copy !req
539. Since we got here? Yeah,
that's what it feels like.Copy !req
540. Captain Mercer,Copy !req
541. this banana is suspended
in a quantum bubbleCopy !req
542. that can be adjusted
to accelerate time.Copy !req
543. Out here only a few
moments have passed.Copy !req
544. Inside the bubble, it's
a month in the future.Copy !req
545. Does it work in
both directions?Copy !req
546. Like, could somebody use it
to go backward in timeCopy !req
547. and tell their younger selfCopy !req
548. not to make
a terrible life decision?Copy !req
549. Hey, will you give it a rest
for, like, five minutes?Copy !req
550. No, I didn't
mean that-that...
I know what you meant.Copy !req
551. No, I just meant,
like, tell yourselfCopy !req
552. not to break your leg
in that fallCopy !req
553. or don't eat too many carbsCopy !req
554. or-or don't get married,
but is that how it works?Copy !req
555. No, the field
can only accelerateCopy !req
556. the forward pace of time.Copy !req
557. Captain...Copy !req
558. We have figured out a wayCopy !req
559. to use quantum field technologyCopy !req
560. to manipulate
the speed of events.Copy !req
561. Sir, I've read
about this hypothetical.Copy !req
562. Quantum field manipulation
of the flow of timeCopy !req
563. is theoretically possible.Copy !req
564. Wait, so...
So you're serious?Copy !req
565. My god.
Think of the benefits.Copy !req
566. Entire crops grown
in the blink of an eye.Copy !req
567. Starving populationsCopy !req
568. supplied with limitless
amounts of food overnight.Copy !req
569. Life-threatening wounds
healed...Copy !req
570. Instantly.
Or entire armiesCopy !req
571. reduced to frail elders
instantly.Copy !req
572. You do realize this could
also be used as a weapon.Copy !req
573. That's why you're here.Copy !req
574. We couldn't risk sending
word to the union fleetCopy !req
575. about what we'd discovered.Copy !req
576. If the krill intercepted it,Copy !req
577. they could've been here
long before you.Copy !req
578. Well, we're only one ship
and not a big one,Copy !req
579. so we better get help.Copy !req
580. How fast does the field
of acceleration go?Copy !req
581. How would you like to see
a 100-year-old banana?Copy !req
582. Watch this.Copy !req
583. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
584. Bortus here, sir.Copy !req
585. Get a coded message
to union centralCopy !req
586. that epsilon 2 is
in possession of a...Copy !req
587. Put down that
comscanner, captain.Copy !req
588. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
is this? What's going on?Copy !req
589. Put down that comscannerCopy !req
590. and drop all your
weapons now.Copy !req
591. Listen, I don't know
what you're trying to...Copy !req
592. Okay, okay, relax.Copy !req
593. Move.Copy !req
594. Derek, what
the hell are you doing?Copy !req
595. Oh, of course it's a Derek.Copy !req
596. Who is this man?Copy !req
597. Derek Ashton, he's
a lab technician.Copy !req
598. He's been here
over a year.Copy !req
599. I don't understand this.
Explain yourself.Copy !req
600. Ashton to krill vessel.
It's time.Copy !req
601. Derek, listen to me.
Don't do this.Copy !req
602. Back off!Copy !req
603. Back off! Back off.
Look, you...Copy !req
604. Stay back! Stay
where you are.Copy !req
605. Bortus to captain Mercer.Copy !req
606. We've just detectedCopy !req
607. a krill destroyer
entering orbit.Copy !req
608. Raise deflector screens.Copy !req
609. Deflector screens up.Copy !req
610. Two krill shuttles
are heading for the surface.Copy !req
611. Captain, there are krill
soldiers heading down to you.Copy !req
612. Captain.Copy !req
613. God, there's no wayCopy !req
614. we're gonna be out
by 5:00 today, are we?Copy !req
615. Captain. Do you read?Copy !req
616. Answer him.Copy !req
617. Tell him the krill
come in peaceCopy !req
618. and to stand down all weapons.
They won't believe me.Copy !req
619. Do it!
Listen, I...Copy !req
620. Do it now!
Okay.Copy !req
621. Captain, do you read?Copy !req
622. Please respond.
Say something!Copy !req
623. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
624. The krill are here in peace.
Uh...Copy !req
625. They just came down for...Copy !req
626. The lab is having a pizza party
and the krill are invited.Copy !req
627. Oh, man, can we go?
Oh, bortus, can we
please go down there?Copy !req
628. Did you say...Copy !req
629. A pizza party?Copy !req
630. It's for office birthdays.Copy !req
631. Lot of September
birthdays down here.Copy !req
632. Alara, good work.Copy !req
633. Bortus, the krill
are here to attack.Copy !req
634. Keep the weapons charged
and the deflectors upCopy !req
635. until we can get to you.Copy !req
636. There is no pizza party.
I repeat,Copy !req
637. there is no pizza party.Copy !req
638. She's dead.Copy !req
639. My god, she must be
over 125 years old.
Dr. aronov,Copy !req
640. we have to get the device back
to the Orville. What do we need?Copy !req
641. Detach the main generator
and grab the controller device.Copy !req
642. Orville to krill ship.Copy !req
643. Call off your attack on the
surface or we will respond.Copy !req
644. The krill are powering weapons.Copy !req
645. Deflectors are
at two-thirds power.Copy !req
646. Return fire.Copy !req
647. Back, back,
back, back, back.Copy !req
648. Doc, is there another way
out of here?Copy !req
649. There's an old
loading conduit,Copy !req
650. but it's across the atrium.Copy !req
651. We're gonna have
to sprint for it.Copy !req
652. All right, get ready.
Doc, stay behind alara.Copy !req
653. Which one's alara?Copy !req
654. Oh, I'm alara.Copy !req
655. Sorry, still
learning names.Copy !req
656. Now.Copy !req
657. Ka'vaska!Copy !req
658. Deflectors at half power.Copy !req
659. Sir, I think I can
buy us some timeCopy !req
660. till we can get the landing
party back. Let me wing it here?Copy !req
661. Proceed.Copy !req
662. This is something I call
"hugging the donkey."Copy !req
663. You can hug the donkey?Copy !req
664. Dude, I've been hugging the
donkey since flight school.Copy !req
665. Round and round she goes!Copy !req
666. Ha, ha!Copy !req
667. It's dead.Copy !req
668. Door's jammed.Copy !req
669. Alara. You want to open
this jar of pickles for me?Copy !req
670. I loosened it for you.Copy !req
671. Alara, get the device
back to the shuttle.Copy !req
672. We'll cover you.
Got it.Copy !req
673. Okay.Copy !req
674. Everybody, strap in.Copy !req
675. Shuttle to Orville,
we're on our way.Copy !req
676. Captain, let me see
that shoulder.Copy !req
677. Does it hurt?
Yeah, it hurts like hell.Copy !req
678. That means it's not that bad.Copy !req
679. What are you talking about,
Kelly?Copy !req
680. I literally just said
it hurts like hell.Copy !req
681. When he's really in pain,
he gives straight answersCopy !req
682. with no cussing.Copy !req
683. He's just hoping
you give him drugs.Copy !req
684. That's a bunch of crap, Kelly.
I'm in real pain here.Copy !req
685. I... why, do you have drugs
on, on...? Did you...?Copy !req
686. Everything's on the ship.Copy !req
687. Approaching ionosphere,
adjusting attitude.Copy !req
688. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
689. Are you gonna be able
to cut the deflectorsCopy !req
690. long enough for us
to get through?Copy !req
691. It may not matter, sir.Copy !req
692. The deflectors are almost gone.Copy !req
693. Oh, boy, that can't be good.Copy !req
694. They won't fire on us, they
know we have the device.Copy !req
695. Give me the device.Copy !req
696. Give me the device,Copy !req
697. and perhaps I will not harm you.Copy !req
698. All right, he's got a gun.Copy !req
699. But we have something better.Copy !req
700. What?Copy !req
701. Seat belts.Copy !req
702. Deflectors are depleted.Copy !req
703. That was a piece
of the upper engine!Copy !req
704. We've lost helm control!Copy !req
705. Mercer to Orville,
we've lost navigational controlCopy !req
706. and we're about 12 seconds
away from hitting youCopy !req
707. like a bug on a windshield.
Lieutenant,Copy !req
708. can you align the shuttle bay
doors with their trajectory?Copy !req
709. Sir, even if I was
the best helmsman in the galaxy,Copy !req
710. that's virtually impossible.Copy !req
711. If you can hug the donkey,Copy !req
712. you can do this.Copy !req
713. Come on, man, you got this.Copy !req
714. You can do it.Copy !req
715. It's like threading a needle
in a hurricane, but I'll try.Copy !req
716. Yes.Copy !req
717. Well done, lieutenant.Copy !req
718. Sir, since I pulled that off,Copy !req
719. can I please wear
shorts to work?Copy !req
720. I've already said no.
Return fire.Copy !req
721. Secure that krill!Copy !req
722. Krill commander:
Union vessel, surrenderCopy !req
723. and prepare to be boarded.Copy !req
724. Upper and middle engines
are gone, captain.Copy !req
725. I have failed you.
Ship's in one piece, bortus.Copy !req
726. I couldn't have done better.
Isaac.Copy !req
727. If I can buy
us some time,Copy !req
728. can you restore enough power
to the lower engineCopy !req
729. to get us out of here?Copy !req
730. I can try, sir.
Do it.Copy !req
731. Alara, hail the commander
of the krill ship.Copy !req
732. Captain,
he's already signaling us.Copy !req
733. Put him on.Copy !req
734. Krill commander,Copy !req
735. this is captain ed Mercer.Copy !req
736. Break off your attack,
and we can talk.Copy !req
737. Give me the device, human,Copy !req
738. or I will destroy your ship.Copy !req
739. Sorry, can you,
can you move, like,Copy !req
740. two steps to your right?
What?Copy !req
741. Just like a little,
t-tiny bit...Copy !req
742. It's just a lot of dead
space there, just...Copy !req
743. Yeah, just right th—
perfect. Yeah, sorry,Copy !req
744. you were just very
weirdly framed,Copy !req
745. it was all I
could focus on.Copy !req
746. Anyway, what is it you want?Copy !req
747. You know what I want.Copy !req
748. Sorry, right, yeah, sorry.
I'm a little distracted lately.Copy !req
749. I just got out
of a rough marriage,Copy !req
750. and it's been
a difficult time.Copy !req
751. My wife had an affair...
Oh, my god.Copy !req
752. Are you really bringing
this up right now?Copy !req
753. I'm trying to keep him talking,
so I can buy us some time.Copy !req
754. Oh, okay. In that case,
you know what?Copy !req
755. You're an objective third party.Copy !req
756. Are you married?Copy !req
757. What?Copy !req
758. Oh, my god, you're ac—Copy !req
759. you're bringing him into our...Copy !req
760. No, I'm just buying
us some time.Copy !req
761. Let me ask
you something.Copy !req
762. Do you make an effort to balanceCopy !req
763. your career with your home life?Copy !req
764. A marriage is work.Copy !req
765. It takes work, right?
Compromise.Copy !req
766. On both sides, yes.Copy !req
767. And if you didn't
make that effort,Copy !req
768. would you be surprised
if your wifeCopy !req
769. sought comfort in
the arms of another?Copy !req
770. No, that would be selfish.Copy !req
771. "No, that would be s..."
Yeah, yeah,Copy !req
772. 'cause both of you
are complete friggin' saints.Copy !req
773. You know what? I don't have
to sit here and listen...Copy !req
774. Krill commander: Enough!Copy !req
775. Emergency power.Copy !req
776. You have 20 seconds
to give me the device,Copy !req
777. or you will die.Copy !req
778. Isaac, what about that engine?Copy !req
779. Still only at partial power,
sir.Copy !req
780. Alara, put the krill on hold.Copy !req
781. I have an idea.Copy !req
782. What is it?Copy !req
783. Let's give him the device.Copy !req
784. What?
Dr. aronov,Copy !req
785. can you preset the
field to fire upCopy !req
786. at a specific
intensity the momentCopy !req
787. the krill activate it?Copy !req
788. I think so, but why?Copy !req
789. And the field can accelerate
time a hundred years.Copy !req
790. Correct?
Yes, it can.Copy !req
791. About how long it takes
a redwood to grow.Copy !req
792. Alara, put him back on.Copy !req
793. All right, commander, you win.Copy !req
794. We'll send you the device
by remote shuttle.Copy !req
795. When you receive it,Copy !req
796. we'll transmit
the activation code.Copy !req
797. Do not take long.Copy !req
798. We won't.Copy !req
799. Maybe she's not such a bitch.Copy !req
800. State-of-the-art weaponry on
this ship and we're using glue.Copy !req
801. My favorite part
of being a fleet officer.Copy !req
802. The arts and crafts.Copy !req
803. You know, if we had time,Copy !req
804. I'd make a macaroni
man to put on here.Copy !req
805. You can make a macaroni man?Copy !req
806. I make really good macaroni men.Copy !req
807. All right, let's get
her out of here.Copy !req
808. The shuttle is aboard
the krill ship.Copy !req
809. Signal them.Copy !req
810. All right, commander.
You have it.Copy !req
811. Excellent. Now,Copy !req
812. give me the activation code.Copy !req
813. The code is six, Alpha, nine,
three, seven,Copy !req
814. Alpha, three, zero, zero.Copy !req
815. Happy arbor day.Copy !req
816. Wait. What's arbor day?Copy !req
817. It's the holiday
where you plant the trees.Copy !req
818. I wouldn't have got that.
Oh, yeah. No, I didn't
get that, either.Copy !req
819. You knew what arbor day was,
right?Copy !req
820. I mean, actually, I
had to think a second.Copy !req
821. Kind of confusing.Copy !req
822. Nobody knows what arbor day is.Copy !req
823. No.
No.Copy !req
824. I knew.
I do not.Copy !req
825. What would you have said?Copy !req
826. I would've said,Copy !req
827. "you got wood."Copy !req
828. Yeah.Copy !req
829. Yes.Copy !req
830. Yeah, that is better,
isn't it?Copy !req
831. Come in.Copy !req
832. Hi.Copy !req
833. Hi.Copy !req
834. I didn't want to bother you
unless I had to.Copy !req
835. You've kind of kept to yourself
these last few days.Copy !req
836. Yeah, the admirals want a full
report on the epsilon 2 stuff,Copy !req
837. so it's just taking a while.Copy !req
838. Yeah, you need some help?Copy !req
839. No, I got it.Copy !req
840. So, um, I just wanted
to tell youCopy !req
841. That lieutenant
commander Murphy...Copy !req
842. Sorry.Copy !req
843. Excuse me.
Can you... just...Copy !req
844. Just not now.Copy !req
845. No, just... we're talking.
We're t...Copy !req
846. Yes. Good, you got it, good.Copy !req
847. Okay.Copy !req
848. Lieutenant commander Murphy
of the USS...Copy !req
849. Oh, my god.Copy !req
850. Just come back l...
Just do it later. Thank you.Copy !req
851. Just not now,
we're having a conversation.Copy !req
852. Thank— yes. Thank you.
Good. Thumbs up. Okay.Copy !req
853. Sorry, go ahead.Copy !req
854. Lieutenant commander MurphyCopy !req
855. of the USS chanute
just got promoted.Copy !req
856. So now he's eligible for
a first officer position.Copy !req
857. And he's a friend of mine.Copy !req
858. So I told him
he could have this posting.Copy !req
859. He's a great guy,
you're gonna love him,Copy !req
860. and I'll be out of your hair
by the end of the day.Copy !req
861. Okay.Copy !req
862. Okay.Copy !req
863. Wait.Copy !req
864. I never really said thank you
for what you did.Copy !req
865. You saved the ship.Copy !req
866. I was just doing my job.Copy !req
867. You were always better at
solving my problems than I was.Copy !req
868. You were
always wise.Copy !req
869. Well...
Thank you for saying that.Copy !req
870. Kelly.Copy !req
871. I'm asking you to stay.Copy !req
872. Really?Copy !req
873. You're one hell of an xo,Copy !req
874. and I think you'd make
a fine addition to this crew.Copy !req
875. A-and you're not concernedCopy !req
876. about the other stuff?Copy !req
877. We'll figure it out.Copy !req
878. Welcome to the Orville,Copy !req
879. commander Grayson.Copy !req
880. Come in.Copy !req
881. Commander Grayson, have a seat.Copy !req
882. I can't stay long.Copy !req
883. I just wanted to say thank you.Copy !req
884. For trusting me.Copy !req
885. Your father and I were close.
I owed him one.Copy !req
886. Regardless, it looks like
you were right about ed.Copy !req
887. You made a hell of a plea
for us to give him that command.Copy !req
888. Honestly, I don't think
we would've done it otherwise.Copy !req
889. I know.Copy !req
890. But he's a smart officer who
just had a little rough patch.Copy !req
891. Does he know?Copy !req
892. No.Copy !req
893. And I plan on keeping it
that way.Copy !req
894. Well... he's lucky
to have you on his side.Copy !req
895. Thank you.Copy !req
896. Take care, admiral.Copy !req
897. Captioned by
media access group at wgbhCopy !req
898. you've explored space
with the Orville.Copy !req
899. Now here are a few more shows
to check out from fox.Copy !req
900. Yay!Copy !req