1. It's time to blast off
with the Orville.Copy !req
2. - Is that a beer?
- I'm nervous. It's a new ship.
Want to make a good impression.Copy !req
3. It's 9:15 in the morning.Copy !req
4. Catch all-new episodes
Thursdays.Copy !req
5. And check out our other
fox programs— the gifted,Copy !req
6. ghosted, and family guy.Copy !req
7. Oh, my god!Copy !req
8. Only on fox.Copy !req
9. Oh, no.Copy !req
10. Ed.Copy !req
11. - Ed, wait, please, ed.
- Nope, nope, nope.Copy !req
12. Ed, just listen to
me for one second.
Whatever you're gonna say,Copy !req
13. I don't want to hear it.
Give me a minute.Copy !req
14. Let's just talk, please.
Kel, there's nothing
to talk about.Copy !req
15. I'm done.
Just give me one minute, ed.Copy !req
16. I'm done.
Ed.Copy !req
17. Come in.Copy !req
18. You wanted to see me, admiral.Copy !req
19. Ah, ed.Copy !req
20. Have a seat.Copy !req
21. I have good news.Copy !req
22. There's a ship available.Copy !req
23. It's a mid-level craft.Copy !req
24. The USS Orville.Copy !req
25. It's not exactly
a heavy cruiser,Copy !req
26. but it is
an exploratory vessel.Copy !req
27. And we're offering you command.Copy !req
28. You're kidding.Copy !req
29. Honestly, we would've
offered you a command earlier,Copy !req
30. but you haven't really
inspired anyoneCopy !req
31. with all that much confidence
this past year.Copy !req
32. I know, I ha...
I've had some personal stuffCopy !req
33. that's been going on; It's not
really worth going into.Copy !req
34. Can I have one of these mints?Copy !req
35. Those are marbles.Copy !req
36. Ed, I remember when
you were at union point.Copy !req
37. You were at the top
of your class.Copy !req
38. Your teachers all thoughtCopy !req
39. you'd be captaining
a heavy cruiser before 40.Copy !req
40. But this past year,
the-the... tardiness,Copy !req
41. the sloppiness.Copy !req
42. My god,
you've been put on reportCopy !req
43. for coming into work
hungover six times.Copy !req
44. Look, the truth is,Copy !req
45. you're nobody's first choice
for this job.Copy !req
46. But we have 3,000 ships
to staff, and we need captains.Copy !req
47. We're giving you
one last chance.Copy !req
48. I just need to know
that you're ready.Copy !req
49. Look, admiral,
ever since I was a kid,Copy !req
50. I have wanted to serve
on an exploratory vessel.Copy !req
51. And for you to put me
in the captain's chair...Copy !req
52. Yes, I'm-I'm ready.Copy !req
53. You can count on me.
Good to hear.Copy !req
54. Now, the Orville has
a nearly-full crew complement.Copy !req
55. Her previous captain
retired this month.Copy !req
56. But she's still short
a helmsman and a first officer.Copy !req
57. We're waiting for an xo
to become available.Copy !req
58. Well, you know, I can get you
the best helmsman in the fleet.Copy !req
59. You mean lieutenant Malloy.Copy !req
60. I'm aware you two are friends.Copy !req
61. Look, I-I knowCopy !req
62. Gordon has his issues,
but we all know there's nobodyCopy !req
63. who can drive a starship
like him.Copy !req
64. Didn't he once draw a penisCopy !req
65. on the main viewing screen
of outpost t85?Copy !req
66. He's drawn a lot of penises on
a lot of things, but, admiral,Copy !req
67. if you were caught
in an ion storm,Copy !req
68. who would you want at the helm?Copy !req
69. Well, if you think
you can keep him focused,Copy !req
70. it's your ship, captain Mercer.Copy !req
71. Ah!Copy !req
72. Oh, hey, ed.Copy !req
73. Ah! Hey, give me one sec.Copy !req
74. What's going on here?
Oh, this is a program I wroteCopy !req
75. where you can battle an ogre
in a samurai village.Copy !req
76. It's pretty cool, right?Copy !req
77. Yeah.
Yeah. He's a badass fighter,Copy !req
78. but I gave him
a really neat personality.Copy !req
79. Hey, dude, this is my buddy ed.Copy !req
80. Hey, ed, nice to meet you.
I'm Justin.
How are you?Copy !req
81. Oh, great, super, always.Copy !req
82. Oh, it's such a treat to meet
one of Gordon's friends.Copy !req
83. So, what's going on?
Gordon, I got a ship.Copy !req
84. No... freaking... way!Copy !req
85. The Orville,
mid-level exploratory,Copy !req
86. and she needs a helmsman.Copy !req
87. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Are you serious?
Are you ready?Copy !req
88. Dude, I was born ready.Copy !req
89. This is crazy. Holy crap.Copy !req
90. Justin, we got a ship.Copy !req
91. I am so excited
for you guys right now.Copy !req
92. I mean, do you just feel,
like, so blessed?Copy !req
93. We'll take a
shuttle up at 0900.
Sweet.Copy !req
94. Oh, hey, Justin,
you got a ladybug on you.
Oh, neat.Copy !req
95. Ah!Copy !req
96. Male automated voice:
You win!Copy !req
97. So, how many ships
in the fleet these days?Copy !req
98. About 3,000, spread over
the whole quadrant, which,Copy !req
99. when you think about the size of
the galaxy, is actually not...Copy !req
100. What is that?
Is that a beer?
Yeah.Copy !req
101. You're drinking a beer?
Yeah, I'm nervous.Copy !req
102. You know, it's a new ship,
want to make a good impression.Copy !req
103. It's 9:15 in the morning.
Give it to me.
No.Copy !req
104. Give me that right— you
can't have that when we dock.
No. Dude, it's-it's one beer.Copy !req
105. What, are you worried
we're gonna crash?
I'm worried about my job.Copy !req
106. Oh, no.
All right, I'm worried...
This is very important to me.Copy !req
107. Oh, boy.
What are you doing?Copy !req
108. Oh, I hope we don't crash.
What are you doing?Copy !req
109. Stop. Gordon, stop it. Knock...
Whoa. This is like...Copy !req
110. Gordon, knock it off right now.
This is not safe.Copy !req
111. I realize I was just wasted.
This is not funny or safe.Copy !req
112. Knock it off right now.
This is like my first beer ever,Copy !req
113. and the sensations
are all new to me.
I'm literally ordering youCopy !req
114. to stop. Take your...
I hope we don't...Copy !req
115. Sorry.Copy !req
116. I'm good.Copy !req
117. is that it?Copy !req
118. It's not bad, right?
No, it's good.Copy !req
119. You paint some flames
on the side, maybeCopy !req
120. like a rainbow unicorn,
you got something.Copy !req
121. Take us in.Copy !req
122. ed:
So, to sum up,Copy !req
123. I just want to say I am thrilled
to be your new captain.Copy !req
124. I want this to be
an efficient ship, tightly run,Copy !req
125. but also one that you're glad
to be serving on.Copy !req
126. Everyone but the senior officers
is dismissed.Copy !req
127. Automated female voice:
Orville engineering,Copy !req
128. continue launch prep.Copy !req
129. All right, lieutenant alara
kitan, our chief of security.Copy !req
130. Yes, sir.Copy !req
131. You're xelayan, right?Copy !req
132. I am, sir.
Wait.Copy !req
133. Don't you guys have,
like, super strength?Copy !req
134. Xelaya's gravitational pull
is highCopy !req
135. compared
to the planetary average,Copy !req
136. so, yes, in earth
normal gravity,Copy !req
137. my physical strength
is elevated.Copy !req
138. Lieutenant, how old are you?Copy !req
139. 23.
You're 23,
and you're chiefCopy !req
140. of security on a starship?Copy !req
141. Xelayans don't usually
join the military,Copy !req
142. so when one of us does, the
union generally fast-tracks us.Copy !req
143. Well, I'm-I'm sure
they know what they're doing.Copy !req
144. Sir, I-I know I'm notCopy !req
145. as experienced
as you were expecting,Copy !req
146. but you can count on me.Copy !req
147. I hope so. Lieutenant
John lamarr, our navigator.Copy !req
148. How's it
going, John?Copy !req
149. Eh, it's going, man.
How's it going with you?Copy !req
150. It's going good.
It says hereCopy !req
151. you're a level-eight
helmsman, too.Copy !req
152. That's pretty impressive.
Yeah, that-that's right.Copy !req
153. Uh, so, our last captain
let us have sodaCopy !req
154. on the bridge
while we were working,Copy !req
155. and I just want to make sure
that's still okay.Copy !req
156. Uh, yeah, if you keep it
below the equipmentCopy !req
157. and don't spill any, sure.Copy !req
158. Oh, dig it. Boom.Copy !req
159. All right, uh,
lieutenant commander bortus,Copy !req
160. our second officer.Copy !req
161. You know, I've never met
a single-gender species before.Copy !req
162. Your entire species
is male, isn't it?Copy !req
163. That is correct, sir.Copy !req
164. So, there's probably not
a lot of arguments about...Copy !req
165. Leaving the toilet seat up
and that kind of thing, right?
No.Copy !req
166. Moclans urinate
only once per year.Copy !req
167. Really? That's...Copy !req
168. Me, I'm-I'm up two,
three times a night.Copy !req
169. That is unfortunate.Copy !req
170. It is.Copy !req
171. Dr. Claire Finn.Copy !req
172. You're my chief
medical officer, yes?Copy !req
173. Yes, sir, I am.
Welcome aboard.Copy !req
174. Your credentials
are exceptional.Copy !req
175. "Molecular surgery,
DNA engineering,Copy !req
176. psychiatry." You could be
posted on a heavy cruiser.Copy !req
177. What are you doing
on the Orville?Copy !req
178. I always request
my transfersCopy !req
179. based on where I think
I'm needed.Copy !req
180. I feel more stimulated that way.Copy !req
181. And so what made you
request this ship?Copy !req
182. Well, this is
your first command, andCopy !req
183. I think you could use my help.Copy !req
184. So you think I might screw up.Copy !req
185. No, sir, I didn't say that, sir.Copy !req
186. Well, no, but you implied
that you don't thinkCopy !req
187. I have the balls to do this job.Copy !req
188. Well, I am your doctor, sir,Copy !req
189. and if your balls are under par,
I'll know.Copy !req
190. All right.Copy !req
191. And finally, Isaac,Copy !req
192. our science and
engineering officer,Copy !req
193. hailing from kaylon 1.Copy !req
194. Affirmative, sir.Copy !req
195. You know, I got to tell you,
I was surprisedCopy !req
196. to see any kaylon serving
in the fleet.Copy !req
197. Aren't you guys
legendarily racist?Copy !req
198. My planet regards humans
and other biological life-formsCopy !req
199. as inferior,
if that is your inference.Copy !req
200. Oh, that's great.
Thanks.Copy !req
201. You are welcome.Copy !req
202. So what are you doing
on a union ship?Copy !req
203. Your fleet's admiralty
offered a postingCopy !req
204. to any kaylon willing
to take it.Copy !req
205. As an effort to
initiate relationsCopy !req
206. between kaylon and
the union, we accepted.Copy !req
207. I was chosen to
represent my planet.Copy !req
208. I see it as an ideal opportunity
to study human behavior.Copy !req
209. Well, we'll, uh... we'll
try not to bore you.Copy !req
210. You will find me
to be your most capable officer.Copy !req
211. All right, everybody settle in.Copy !req
212. We ship out
this afternoon.Copy !req
213. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
214. Hey, man, come on in.Copy !req
215. Figured I'd introduce myself
since we're gonna be workingCopy !req
216. full shifts together.Copy !req
217. You want to
make sure I'm not a jerk.Copy !req
218. Something like that.Copy !req
219. Dude, I'm such a jerk,
it's ridiculous.Copy !req
220. Okay, well, so am I,
so this is gonna work out great.Copy !req
221. Gordon Malloy.
John lamarr.Copy !req
222. Cool.Copy !req
223. So, I heard you've been out
of commission for a minute.Copy !req
224. Well, not out of commission,
but, uh,Copy !req
225. definitely kept
on desk duty.
Well, what'd you do?Copy !req
226. I mean, your piloting skills
are kind of legendary.Copy !req
227. How'd you get suspended?Copy !req
228. I let my cousin shoot a pornoCopy !req
229. in the back of a shuttle
in exchange for some pills.Copy !req
230. W-wait. No. R-really?Copy !req
231. Man, look at your face.Copy !req
232. No, no, no, I did a,
I did a manual overrideCopy !req
233. on a tricky shuttle dockingCopy !req
234. and sheared off
a cargo bay door.Copy !req
235. Yeah, nobody was hurt,
but 300 cratesCopy !req
236. of authentic Autumn squash
were sucked into space.Copy !req
237. Well, that's a lot
of damn squash.Copy !req
238. Yeah. I was trying
to impress a girl.Copy !req
239. Ah, I can respect that.Copy !req
240. Needless to say it didn't
go over too well.Copy !req
241. If it weren't for ed,
I probably wouldn'tCopy !req
242. be back at the helm for a lot
longer than this, if ever.Copy !req
243. Well, just steer with your head
from now on,Copy !req
244. and you'll be okay.Copy !req
245. Yeah.Copy !req
246. See you on the bridge.Copy !req
247. I wish I could give you
something more excitingCopy !req
248. for your maiden voyage,
but it's pretty straightforward.Copy !req
249. You'll be delivering suppliesCopy !req
250. to the science station
on epsilon 2.Copy !req
251. Hey, sir, I'm not
complaining.Copy !req
252. It'll be great
just to be out there.Copy !req
253. Uh, is there any word yet
on a first officer?Copy !req
254. I should have an update
in a few hours.Copy !req
255. Sounds like you won't have
to wait much longer.Copy !req
256. Safe travels, captain.Copy !req
257. Captain.Copy !req
258. Captain, we've received
the green lightCopy !req
259. from dockyard tower, and
we're cleared for departure.Copy !req
260. Tell them we're good to go.Copy !req
261. Lieutenant Malloy, take us out.Copy !req
262. Aye, sir.
Departing dockyard.Copy !req
263. dockyard perimeter cleared.Copy !req
264. Set course for epsilon
and engage quantum drive.Copy !req
265. Course set, drive engaged.Copy !req
266. 19 hours, 51 minutes.Copy !req
267. I've never been to
the epsilon science station.Copy !req
268. What's it like?
Epsilon 2 is an outpostCopy !req
269. devoted exclusively
to scientific inquiry.Copy !req
270. Ed:
ResearchersCopy !req
271. from all over the galaxy
petition to work there.Copy !req
272. Really? Wow.Copy !req
273. Any good bars?Copy !req
274. I will investigate.Copy !req
275. No, bortus, you don't have
to investigate that.Copy !req
276. I have already obtained
the information.Copy !req
277. Oh.
Shall I withhold it?Copy !req
278. No, you can tell us.Copy !req
279. There are no bars.Copy !req
280. How about strip clubs?Copy !req
281. Gordon.
Sorry.Copy !req
282. There are no strip clubs.Copy !req
283. Captain, there's a message
coming inCopy !req
284. from admiral halsey.Copy !req
285. It says that
an executive officerCopy !req
286. has become available
and can rendezvousCopy !req
287. with the Orville
at station 794.Copy !req
288. That's great.
That's barely out of our way.Copy !req
289. Who is it?Copy !req
290. He wants me to forward it
to you privately.Copy !req
291. All right, send it
to my station.Copy !req
292. No.Copy !req
293. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
294. What's the matter?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,Copy !req
295. no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
296. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
297. Ah, crap!
Sorry, man, you okay?Copy !req
298. Yeah, it's all good, man.
You okay?Copy !req
299. Yeah, all good. Sorry.
All right, no worries.Copy !req
300. Calm down, ed, and be
professional about this.Copy !req
301. Oh, please,
there is nothing at allCopy !req
302. professional
about this situation.Copy !req
303. Okay, this is my ex-wife,Copy !req
304. who I have not seen
since my divorceCopy !req
305. a year ago after I walked in on
her banging a retepsian.Copy !req
306. I know this isn't ideal,Copy !req
307. but she's the only qualified
xo available.Copy !req
308. And the staff profile
compatibility programCopy !req
309. indicated your skill sets
complement hers.Copy !req
310. Oh, it did? See if your
compatibility programCopy !req
311. can get blue
out of a white lampshade.Copy !req
312. Ed, you need
to calm yourself here.Copy !req
313. God, I can't even believe
this is happening.Copy !req
314. Look, she is the only
current option,Copy !req
315. and if you make a stink
about an xo assignmentCopy !req
316. one day into your first command,Copy !req
317. with your record,Copy !req
318. it's not gonna look good.Copy !req
319. And you're telling me
she's okay with this?Copy !req
320. Ed, she requested it.Copy !req
321. Sir, shuttle bay reportsCopy !req
322. the xo's shuttle has docked.Copy !req
323. Can you tell her to come
straight to my office?Copy !req
324. Aye, sir.Copy !req
325. The captain does not
appear to be pleasedCopy !req
326. at the arrival
of his first officer.Copy !req
327. Why is this?Copy !req
328. 'Cause she's a total bitch.Copy !req
329. Do you know her?Copy !req
330. Oh, yeah.
They were married.Copy !req
331. No way.Copy !req
332. She cheated on him.
Aw, damn, that's cold.Copy !req
333. Yeah, so this should be
a really fun trip for all of us.Copy !req
334. Your description
of the occurrenceCopy !req
335. indicates unpleasantness,Copy !req
336. yet you believe it will be fun.Copy !req
337. I was being sarcastic.
It's gonna suck.Copy !req
338. Suck?
Yeah, suck.
You know, like, ass, balls.Copy !req
339. What he means is,
if you don't already drink,Copy !req
340. you should probably start.Copy !req
341. Perhaps we should not
be talking about this.Copy !req
342. Oh, no, no, no, we're,
we're talking about this.Copy !req
343. It does not seem
appropriate.Copy !req
344. Oh, no, we're definitely
talking about it.Copy !req
345. Th-th-this is a thing.Copy !req
346. Come in.Copy !req
347. Hi.Copy !req
348. Hi.Copy !req
349. Can I come in?Copy !req
350. It's a nice office.Copy !req
351. Thank you.Copy !req
352. Did you pick out the furniture?Copy !req
353. You know, I didn't,
but if you're reallyCopy !req
354. interested in the furniture,
I'd be happy to getCopy !req
355. all the information
I can about it.Copy !req
356. I could have somebody
compile a full reportCopy !req
357. and have it sent to your
quarters this afternoon.Copy !req
358. Maybe you'd find something nice
for your new apartment.Copy !req
359. Are you all finished?Copy !req
360. Well, you know, I thought I was,Copy !req
361. but, apparently, you're not.Copy !req
362. Ed...Copy !req
363. I can't apologize enough.Copy !req
364. I know it doesn't
matter to you,Copy !req
365. but I-I am sorrier
for what I did to youCopy !req
366. than anything I've ever
done in my entire life.Copy !req
367. You know, I've doneCopy !req
368. a pretty good job
getting over all thisCopy !req
369. in the past year,Copy !req
370. and I'm over it,
so why don't you tell meCopy !req
371. what the hell you're doing here?Copy !req
372. I heard about
your promotion.Copy !req
373. I also heard there was
no xo available,Copy !req
374. and you know how the
fleet admirals are.Copy !req
375. They don't like to see a captain
on his own for too long.Copy !req
376. And I figured
I'd wronged you so badlyCopy !req
377. that if there was something
good I could do for you,Copy !req
378. it'd help me atone in some way.Copy !req
379. So I requested a transfer.Copy !req
380. I literally bailed on my own
crewmates to come here.Copy !req
381. Well, you bailed
on a whole marriage,Copy !req
382. so I imagine that was
a piece of cake for you, huh?Copy !req
383. Ed, look, I'm not saying
what I did wasn't disgraceful,Copy !req
384. but I only did it
because I didn't have you.Copy !req
385. There it is.
How long did that take you?Copy !req
386. How many minutes
into this conversation?
You were working nonstop.Copy !req
387. Okay, there were
entire daysCopy !req
388. I wouldn't see you.
Yeah, I was working for us,Copy !req
389. Kelly, for you and I.
That— you know this.Copy !req
390. I didn't ask you to do that.Copy !req
391. Okay? Y-you just shut off
from our relationship.Copy !req
392. I-I didn't know
how to handle it.Copy !req
393. So you banged papa smurf
in our bed.Copy !req
394. That's one way to handle it.
Darulio was there
when you weren't.Copy !req
395. And you know how
many times I triedCopy !req
396. to talk to you, but you just
kept putting me off?Copy !req
397. Whe-when did you try
to talk to me?Copy !req
398. So many times.
Where it wasn't,
like, an insidious,Copy !req
399. subtle, sarcastic...
Either you weren't hearing meCopy !req
400. or you weren't around
at all, but I did try.Copy !req
401. I was the one who suggested
couples counseling.Copy !req
402. Couples counseling?Copy !req
403. The therapist was
your brother-in-law.Copy !req
404. Look, this— okay— this shipCopy !req
405. is what I've been waiting for
my entire career.Copy !req
406. My entire life.Copy !req
407. So why are you doing this to me?Copy !req
408. As soon as another xo
becomes available,Copy !req
409. I'll be the one
to request a transfer.Copy !req
410. Whoa, hey.Copy !req
411. Hi there.Copy !req
412. I was just on my
way to the John.Copy !req
413. Well, I'm-I'm glad
I bumped into you.Copy !req
414. Do you have a second?Copy !req
415. Sure. I can hold it.Copy !req
416. Okay. Gordon,
I just want to make sure...
You know what?Copy !req
417. You should probably call
me lieutenant Malloy,Copy !req
418. seeing as how you're
my boss now... sir.Copy !req
419. Right. Lieutenant.Copy !req
420. I just want to
make sure thatCopy !req
421. everything's all right
between us.Copy !req
422. I mean, I'm assuming that
you and ed are still close.Copy !req
423. Yeah.Copy !req
424. Yeah, and...Copy !req
425. What happened between ed and I,
that— it was a mistake.Copy !req
426. A big one.
And, um,Copy !req
427. I guess I just want to know
that you're gonna be okayCopy !req
428. taking orders from me.Copy !req
429. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, no, no.Copy !req
430. I'm a professional,
don't worry about that.Copy !req
431. That's good to hear.Copy !req
432. Actually, the folks
up on the bridgeCopy !req
433. were asking
about you earlier,Copy !req
434. and I was telling them
you're actuallyCopy !req
435. a really cool person.
Really?Copy !req
436. I kind of primed the pump
for you up there, you know.Copy !req
437. All good vibes.Copy !req
438. That's very magnanimous
of you.Copy !req
439. I got you.
I got you.Copy !req
440. So, um,
permission to pee?Copy !req
441. Oh.:
Granted, yes.Copy !req
442. Sweet, sweet.Copy !req
443. Hey, I'm gonna go look up
what "magnanimous" means.Copy !req
444. Great.
Great.Copy !req
445. I mean, pee first, though.Copy !req
446. Priorities.Copy !req
447. You know it.Copy !req
448. entering orbit
of epsilon 2.Copy !req
449. Lieutenant kitan,Copy !req
450. signal them we're ready.Copy !req
451. Aye, commander.Copy !req
452. Man, you could cut
the tension with a knife.Copy !req
453. Do not make eye contact.Copy !req
454. Orville to epsilon
science station.Copy !req
455. We're here and ready
to bring down supplies.Copy !req
456. Orville, this is Dr. aronov.Copy !req
457. I am chief of this facility.Copy !req
458. May I speak to your captain?Copy !req
459. Put him on the viewer.Copy !req
460. Dr. aronov, this is
captain ed Mercer.Copy !req
461. We're about to start
sending down your supplies.Copy !req
462. Actually, captain,
we-we don't need any supplies.Copy !req
463. I-I don't understand.Copy !req
464. You requested these
supplies yourself, yeah?Copy !req
465. I did.Copy !req
466. I'm sorry.Copy !req
467. I-I wouldn't have lied
unless I had to.Copy !req
468. Please, come down
to the surface.Copy !req
469. I will explain everything.Copy !req
470. This is really strange.Copy !req
471. Yeah, it's a great way
to start things off.Copy !req
472. Bortus, you have the conn.Copy !req
473. Lieutenant,
you're with us.Copy !req
474. You see that dog
in the backgroundCopy !req
475. licking his balls?Copy !req
476. First thing I saw.Copy !req
477. Prepare for Orville
shuttle arrival, bay 3.Copy !req
478. Captain Mercer.Copy !req
479. Welcome to epsilon 2.Copy !req
480. Thank you for coming.
Dr. aronov.Copy !req
481. This is my security chief,
alara kitan.
Hi.Copy !req
482. My chief medical officer,
Claire Finn.
Pleasure.Copy !req
483. And my ex-wife,
Kelly Grayson.Copy !req
484. I'm his first officer.Copy !req
485. Ah.Copy !req
486. But if any of your
research teamCopy !req
487. needs an artless,
jabby-nail shoulder massage,Copy !req
488. she's the best there is.Copy !req
489. Doctor, you want to tell us
why you falsely divertedCopy !req
490. a starship on active duty?Copy !req
491. You know you could
do time for that.Copy !req
492. We need protection.Copy !req
493. Protection from what?Copy !req
494. The krill.Copy !req
495. There have been no krill
ships sighted in this area.Copy !req
496. Come inside. I'll explain.Copy !req
497. Wow. No wonder
they call this placeCopy !req
498. the scientists'
playground.Copy !req
499. Incredible, isn't it?
Yeah.Copy !req
500. Here. Follow me through
the botany lab.Copy !req
501. We're doing genetic research
and development hereCopy !req
502. that will change
the face of the galaxy.Copy !req
503. Is that one of
your projects?Copy !req
504. No, no, that's Dr. jorvik,
our chief botanist.Copy !req
505. Keep up, please.Copy !req
506. What sort of research
are you doing here?Copy !req
507. Oh, well, uh...Copy !req
508. This is a redwood seed.Copy !req
509. Looks pretty ordinary, yes?
Sure.Copy !req
510. Well, this seed has been
genetically engineeredCopy !req
511. with tardigrade DNA,Copy !req
512. which means it can survive
and grow in anything.Copy !req
513. Rock, metal, sand.Copy !req
514. It can exist a hundred
years without water.Copy !req
515. You can toss this seed in
the middle of the Sahara,Copy !req
516. and in a century you'll
have a towering redwood.Copy !req
517. That's really impressive.Copy !req
518. And as a bonus,
a healthy snack.Copy !req
519. Here, try some.Copy !req
520. Yeah, it's very tasty.Copy !req
521. Listen, Dr. aronov,
why are we here?Copy !req
522. I couldn't tell you the real
reason we needed a union shipCopy !req
523. because I couldn't riskCopy !req
524. divulging the information
over open communications.Copy !req
525. This way.Copy !req
526. This is Janice Lee, one of our
most brilliant young physicists.Copy !req
527. Hello.
Hi.Copy !req
528. Janice has been experimenting
with temporal fieldsCopy !req
529. and has made—
well, a breakthroughCopy !req
530. would be an understatement.Copy !req
531. So, it's
an anti-banana ray?Copy !req
532. It's really interesting.Copy !req
533. We need no longer
fear the banana.Copy !req
534. Does it work on all fruit?
What about salads?Copy !req
535. Do you understand what happened
to this banana?Copy !req
536. It's rottenCopy !req
537. because a month has passed.Copy !req
538. Since we got here? Yeah,
that's what it feels like.Copy !req
539. Captain Mercer,Copy !req
540. this banana is suspended
in a quantum bubbleCopy !req
541. that can be adjusted
to accelerate time.Copy !req
542. Out here only a few
moments have passed.Copy !req
543. Inside the bubble, it's
a month in the future.Copy !req
544. Does it work in
both directions?Copy !req
545. Like, could somebody use it
to go backward in timeCopy !req
546. and tell their younger selfCopy !req
547. not to make
a terrible life decision?Copy !req
548. Hey, will you give it a rest
for, like, five minutes?Copy !req
549. No, I didn't
mean that-that...
I know what you meant.Copy !req
550. No, I just meant,
like, tell yourselfCopy !req
551. not to break your leg
in that fallCopy !req
552. or don't eat too many carbsCopy !req
553. or-or don't get married,
but is that how it works?Copy !req
554. No, the field
can only accelerateCopy !req
555. the forward pace of time.Copy !req
556. Captain...Copy !req
557. We have figured out a wayCopy !req
558. to use quantum field technologyCopy !req
559. to manipulate
the speed of events.Copy !req
560. Sir, I've read
about this hypothetical.Copy !req
561. Quantum field manipulation
of the flow of timeCopy !req
562. is theoretically possible.Copy !req
563. Wait, so...
So you're serious?Copy !req
564. My god.
Think of the benefits.Copy !req
565. Entire crops grown
in the blink of an eye.Copy !req
566. Starving populationsCopy !req
567. supplied with limitless
amounts of food overnight.Copy !req
568. Life-threatening wounds
healed...Copy !req
569. Instantly.
Or entire armiesCopy !req
570. reduced to frail elders
instantly.Copy !req
571. You do realize this could
also be used as a weapon.Copy !req
572. That's why you're here.Copy !req
573. We couldn't risk sending
word to the union fleetCopy !req
574. about what we'd discovered.Copy !req
575. If the krill intercepted it,Copy !req
576. they could've been here
long before you.Copy !req
577. Well, we're only one ship
and not a big one,Copy !req
578. so we better get help.Copy !req
579. How fast does the field
of acceleration go?Copy !req
580. How would you like to see
a 100-year-old banana?Copy !req
581. Watch this.Copy !req
582. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
583. Bortus here, sir.Copy !req
584. Get a coded message
to union centralCopy !req
585. that epsilon 2 is
in possession of a...Copy !req
586. Put down that
comscanner, captain.Copy !req
587. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
is this? What's going on?Copy !req
588. Put down that comscannerCopy !req
589. and drop all your
weapons now.Copy !req
590. Listen, I don't know
what you're trying to...Copy !req
591. Okay, okay, relax.Copy !req
592. Move.Copy !req
593. Derek, what
the hell are you doing?Copy !req
594. Oh, of course it's a Derek.Copy !req
595. Who is this man?Copy !req
596. Derek Ashton, he's
a lab technician.Copy !req
597. He's been here
over a year.Copy !req
598. I don't understand this.
Explain yourself.Copy !req
599. Ashton to krill vessel.
It's time.Copy !req
600. Derek, listen to me.
Don't do this.Copy !req
601. Back off!Copy !req
602. Back off! Back off.
Look, you...Copy !req
603. Stay back! Stay
where you are.Copy !req
604. Bortus to captain Mercer.Copy !req
605. We've just detectedCopy !req
606. a krill destroyer
entering orbit.Copy !req
607. Raise deflector screens.Copy !req
608. Deflector screens up.Copy !req
609. Two krill shuttles
are heading for the surface.Copy !req
610. Captain, there are krill
soldiers heading down to you.Copy !req
611. Captain.Copy !req
612. God, there's no wayCopy !req
613. we're gonna be out
by 5:00 today, are we?Copy !req
614. Captain. Do you read?Copy !req
615. Answer him.Copy !req
616. Tell him the krill
come in peaceCopy !req
617. and to stand down all weapons.
They won't believe me.Copy !req
618. Do it!
Listen, I...Copy !req
619. Do it now!
Okay.Copy !req
620. Captain, do you read?Copy !req
621. Please respond.
Say something!Copy !req
622. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
623. The krill are here in peace.
Uh...Copy !req
624. They just came down for...Copy !req
625. The lab is having a pizza party
and the krill are invited.Copy !req
626. Oh, man, can we go?
Oh, bortus, can we
please go down there?Copy !req
627. Did you say...Copy !req
628. A pizza party?Copy !req
629. It's for office birthdays.Copy !req
630. Lot of September
birthdays down here.Copy !req
631. Alara, good work.Copy !req
632. Bortus, the krill
are here to attack.Copy !req
633. Keep the weapons charged
and the deflectors upCopy !req
634. until we can get to you.Copy !req
635. There is no pizza party.
I repeat,Copy !req
636. there is no pizza party.Copy !req
637. She's dead.Copy !req
638. My god, she must be
over 125 years old.
Dr. aronov,Copy !req
639. we have to get the device back
to the Orville. What do we need?Copy !req
640. Detach the main generator
and grab the controller device.Copy !req
641. Orville to krill ship.Copy !req
642. Call off your attack on the
surface or we will respond.Copy !req
643. The krill are powering weapons.Copy !req
644. Deflectors are
at two-thirds power.Copy !req
645. Return fire.Copy !req
646. Back, back,
back, back, back.Copy !req
647. Doc, is there another way
out of here?Copy !req
648. There's an old
loading conduit,Copy !req
649. but it's across the atrium.Copy !req
650. We're gonna have
to sprint for it.Copy !req
651. All right, get ready.
Doc, stay behind alara.Copy !req
652. Which one's alara?Copy !req
653. Oh, I'm alara.Copy !req
654. Sorry, still
learning names.Copy !req
655. Now.Copy !req
656. Ka'vaska!Copy !req
657. Deflectors at half power.Copy !req
658. Sir, I think I can
buy us some timeCopy !req
659. till we can get the landing
party back. Let me wing it here?Copy !req
660. Proceed.Copy !req
661. This is something I call
"hugging the donkey."Copy !req
662. You can hug the donkey?Copy !req
663. Dude, I've been hugging the
donkey since flight school.Copy !req
664. Round and round she goes!Copy !req
665. Ha, ha!Copy !req
666. It's dead.Copy !req
667. Door's jammed.Copy !req
668. Alara. You want to open
this jar of pickles for me?Copy !req
669. I loosened it for you.Copy !req
670. Alara, get the device
back to the shuttle.Copy !req
671. We'll cover you.
Got it.Copy !req
672. Okay.Copy !req
673. Everybody, strap in.Copy !req
674. Shuttle to Orville,
we're on our way.Copy !req
675. Captain, let me see
that shoulder.Copy !req
676. Does it hurt?
Yeah, it hurts like hell.Copy !req
677. That means it's not that bad.Copy !req
678. What are you talking about,
Kelly?Copy !req
679. I literally just said
it hurts like hell.Copy !req
680. When he's really in pain,
he gives straight answersCopy !req
681. with no cussing.Copy !req
682. He's just hoping
you give him drugs.Copy !req
683. That's a bunch of crap, Kelly.
I'm in real pain here.Copy !req
684. I... why, do you have drugs
on, on...? Did you...?Copy !req
685. Everything's on the ship.Copy !req
686. Approaching ionosphere,
adjusting attitude.Copy !req
687. Mercer to bortus.Copy !req
688. Are you gonna be able
to cut the deflectorsCopy !req
689. long enough for us
to get through?Copy !req
690. It may not matter, sir.Copy !req
691. The deflectors are almost gone.Copy !req
692. Oh, boy, that can't be good.Copy !req
693. They won't fire on us, they
know we have the device.Copy !req
694. Give me the device.Copy !req
695. Give me the device,Copy !req
696. and perhaps I will not harm you.Copy !req
697. All right, he's got a gun.Copy !req
698. But we have something better.Copy !req
699. What?Copy !req
700. Seat belts.Copy !req
701. Deflectors are depleted.Copy !req
702. That was a piece
of the upper engine!Copy !req
703. We've lost helm control!Copy !req
704. Mercer to Orville,
we've lost navigational controlCopy !req
705. and we're about 12 seconds
away from hitting youCopy !req
706. like a bug on a windshield.
Lieutenant,Copy !req
707. can you align the shuttle bay
doors with their trajectory?Copy !req
708. Sir, even if I was
the best helmsman in the galaxy,Copy !req
709. that's virtually impossible.Copy !req
710. If you can hug the donkey,Copy !req
711. you can do this.Copy !req
712. Come on, man, you got this.Copy !req
713. You can do it.Copy !req
714. It's like threading a needle
in a hurricane, but I'll try.Copy !req
715. Yes.Copy !req
716. Well done, lieutenant.Copy !req
717. Sir, since I pulled that off,Copy !req
718. can I please wear
shorts to work?Copy !req
719. I've already said no.
Return fire.Copy !req
720. Secure that krill!Copy !req
721. Krill commander:
Union vessel, surrenderCopy !req
722. and prepare to be boarded.Copy !req
723. Upper and middle engines
are gone, captain.Copy !req
724. I have failed you.
Ship's in one piece, bortus.Copy !req
725. I couldn't have done better.
Isaac.Copy !req
726. If I can buy
us some time,Copy !req
727. can you restore enough power
to the lower engineCopy !req
728. to get us out of here?Copy !req
729. I can try, sir.
Do it.Copy !req
730. Alara, hail the commander
of the krill ship.Copy !req
731. Captain,
he's already signaling us.Copy !req
732. Put him on.Copy !req
733. Krill commander,Copy !req
734. this is captain ed Mercer.Copy !req
735. Break off your attack,
and we can talk.Copy !req
736. Give me the device, human,Copy !req
737. or I will destroy your ship.Copy !req
738. Sorry, can you,
can you move, like,Copy !req
739. two steps to your right?
What?Copy !req
740. Just like a little,
t-tiny bit...Copy !req
741. It's just a lot of dead
space there, just...Copy !req
742. Yeah, just right th—
perfect. Yeah, sorry,Copy !req
743. you were just very
weirdly framed,Copy !req
744. it was all I
could focus on.Copy !req
745. Anyway, what is it you want?Copy !req
746. You know what I want.Copy !req
747. Sorry, right, yeah, sorry.
I'm a little distracted lately.Copy !req
748. I just got out
of a rough marriage,Copy !req
749. and it's been
a difficult time.Copy !req
750. My wife had an affair...
Oh, my god.Copy !req
751. Are you really bringing
this up right now?Copy !req
752. I'm trying to keep him talking,
so I can buy us some time.Copy !req
753. Oh, okay. In that case,
you know what?Copy !req
754. You're an objective third party.Copy !req
755. Are you married?Copy !req
756. What?Copy !req
757. Oh, my god, you're ac—Copy !req
758. you're bringing him into our...Copy !req
759. No, I'm just buying
us some time.Copy !req
760. Let me ask
you something.Copy !req
761. Do you make an effort to balanceCopy !req
762. your career with your home life?Copy !req
763. A marriage is work.Copy !req
764. It takes work, right?
Compromise.Copy !req
765. On both sides, yes.Copy !req
766. And if you didn't
make that effort,Copy !req
767. would you be surprised
if your wifeCopy !req
768. sought comfort in
the arms of another?Copy !req
769. No, that would be selfish.Copy !req
770. "No, that would be s..."
Yeah, yeah,Copy !req
771. 'cause both of you
are complete friggin' saints.Copy !req
772. You know what? I don't have
to sit here and listen...Copy !req
773. Krill commander: Enough!Copy !req
774. Emergency power.Copy !req
775. You have 20 seconds
to give me the device,Copy !req
776. or you will die.Copy !req
777. Isaac, what about that engine?Copy !req
778. Still only at partial power,
sir.Copy !req
779. Alara, put the krill on hold.Copy !req
780. I have an idea.Copy !req
781. What is it?Copy !req
782. Let's give him the device.Copy !req
783. What?
Dr. aronov,Copy !req
784. can you preset the
field to fire upCopy !req
785. at a specific
intensity the momentCopy !req
786. the krill activate it?Copy !req
787. I think so, but why?Copy !req
788. And the field can accelerate
time a hundred years.Copy !req
789. Correct?
Yes, it can.Copy !req
790. About how long it takes
a redwood to grow.Copy !req
791. Alara, put him back on.Copy !req
792. All right, commander, you win.Copy !req
793. We'll send you the device
by remote shuttle.Copy !req
794. When you receive it,Copy !req
795. we'll transmit
the activation code.Copy !req
796. Do not take long.Copy !req
797. We won't.Copy !req
798. Maybe she's not such a bitch.Copy !req
799. State-of-the-art weaponry on
this ship and we're using glue.Copy !req
800. My favorite part
of being a fleet officer.Copy !req
801. The arts and crafts.Copy !req
802. You know, if we had time,Copy !req
803. I'd make a macaroni
man to put on here.Copy !req
804. You can make a macaroni man?Copy !req
805. I make really good macaroni men.Copy !req
806. All right, let's get
her out of here.Copy !req
807. The shuttle is aboard
the krill ship.Copy !req
808. Signal them.Copy !req
809. All right, commander.
You have it.Copy !req
810. Excellent. Now,Copy !req
811. give me the activation code.Copy !req
812. The code is six, Alpha, nine,
three, seven,Copy !req
813. Alpha, three, zero, zero.Copy !req
814. Happy arbor day.Copy !req
815. Wait. What's arbor day?Copy !req
816. It's the holiday
where you plant the trees.Copy !req
817. I wouldn't have got that.
Oh, yeah. No, I didn't
get that, either.Copy !req
818. You knew what arbor day was,
right?Copy !req
819. I mean, actually, I
had to think a second.Copy !req
820. Kind of confusing.Copy !req
821. Nobody knows what arbor day is.Copy !req
822. No.
No.Copy !req
823. I knew.
I do not.Copy !req
824. What would you have said?Copy !req
825. I would've said,Copy !req
826. "you got wood."Copy !req
827. Yeah.Copy !req
828. Yes.Copy !req
829. Yeah, that is better,
isn't it?Copy !req
830. Come in.Copy !req
831. Hi.Copy !req
832. Hi.Copy !req
833. I didn't want to bother you
unless I had to.Copy !req
834. You've kind of kept to yourself
these last few days.Copy !req
835. Yeah, the admirals want a full
report on the epsilon 2 stuff,Copy !req
836. so it's just taking a while.Copy !req
837. Yeah, you need some help?Copy !req
838. No, I got it.Copy !req
839. So, um, I just wanted
to tell youCopy !req
840. That lieutenant
commander Murphy...Copy !req
841. Sorry.Copy !req
842. Excuse me.
Can you... just...Copy !req
843. Just not now.Copy !req
844. No, just... we're talking.
We're t...Copy !req
845. Yes. Good, you got it, good.Copy !req
846. Okay.Copy !req
847. Lieutenant commander Murphy
of the USS...Copy !req
848. Oh, my god.Copy !req
849. Just come back l...
Just do it later. Thank you.Copy !req
850. Just not now,
we're having a conversation.Copy !req
851. Thank— yes. Thank you.
Good. Thumbs up. Okay.Copy !req
852. Sorry, go ahead.Copy !req
853. Lieutenant commander MurphyCopy !req
854. of the USS chanute
just got promoted.Copy !req
855. So now he's eligible for
a first officer position.Copy !req
856. And he's a friend of mine.Copy !req
857. So I told him
he could have this posting.Copy !req
858. He's a great guy,
you're gonna love him,Copy !req
859. and I'll be out of your hair
by the end of the day.Copy !req
860. Okay.Copy !req
861. Okay.Copy !req
862. Wait.Copy !req
863. I never really said thank you
for what you did.Copy !req
864. You saved the ship.Copy !req
865. I was just doing my job.Copy !req
866. You were always better at
solving my problems than I was.Copy !req
867. You were
always wise.Copy !req
868. Well...
Thank you for saying that.Copy !req
869. Kelly.Copy !req
870. I'm asking you to stay.Copy !req
871. Really?Copy !req
872. You're one hell of an xo,Copy !req
873. and I think you'd make
a fine addition to this crew.Copy !req
874. A-and you're not concernedCopy !req
875. about the other stuff?Copy !req
876. We'll figure it out.Copy !req
877. Welcome to the Orville,Copy !req
878. commander Grayson.Copy !req
879. Come in.Copy !req
880. Commander Grayson, have a seat.Copy !req
881. I can't stay long.Copy !req
882. I just wanted to say thank you.Copy !req
883. For trusting me.Copy !req
884. Your father and I were close.
I owed him one.Copy !req
885. Regardless, it looks like
you were right about ed.Copy !req
886. You made a hell of a plea
for us to give him that command.Copy !req
887. Honestly, I don't think
we would've done it otherwise.Copy !req
888. I know.Copy !req
889. But he's a smart officer who
just had a little rough patch.Copy !req
890. Does he know?Copy !req
891. No.Copy !req
892. And I plan on keeping it
that way.Copy !req
893. Well... he's lucky
to have you on his side.Copy !req
894. Thank you.Copy !req
895. Take care, admiral.Copy !req
896. Captioned by
media access group at wgbhCopy !req
897. you've explored space
with the Orville.Copy !req
898. Now here are a few more shows
to check out from fox.Copy !req
899. Yay!Copy !req