1. - I'm taking some time off
from work—Copy !req
2. Well, my other work—Copy !req
3. Because we needed it.Copy !req
4. - It's great.Copy !req
5. - It's great.Copy !req
6. - The phone's been ringing
off the hook.Copy !req
7. The guys in philly
are kind of going nuts.Copy !req
8. - But that doesn't matter.Copy !req
9. This does.Copy !req
10. It's the only thing
that matters.Copy !req
11. We've had some
really nice days together.Copy !req
12. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
13. Nice morning, too.Copy !req
14. - Beesly.
Oh, my god.Copy !req
15. Which tie makes me look
like a guy who likes sofas?Copy !req
16. My agent's putting me up
for a furniture commercial.Copy !req
17. - Ah.
Definitely blue.Copy !req
18. - Totally, right?Copy !req
19. So, big tuna, what's up?
Back in the small pond?Copy !req
20. - For now, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
21. I was just spreading myself
way too thin—Copy !req
22. - Thin-sliced tuna.
Carpaccio.Copy !req
23. Go on.Copy !req
24. - Uh, well,
it took me a while.Copy !req
25. But I finally realized
that I can't give 100%Copy !req
26. To two things at once,
you know?Copy !req
27. - Yeah.
Tell me about it.Copy !req
28. I've been trying to act
and manage this branch.Copy !req
29. My stage makeup
or my work makeup.Copy !req
30. So you gotta ask yourself
what makes you the happiest.Copy !req
31. You just go all in
for what's most important.Copy !req
32. That's my new thing.Copy !req
33. - Whoa.Copy !req
34. - Is everything okay?Copy !req
35. - No.
Everything is not okay.Copy !req
36. The county took my cats.Copy !req
37. - Wait, all of them?Copy !req
38. - Two sacks' worth.Copy !req
39. Apparently, my apartment
complex has rulesCopy !req
40. About how many pets
are too many for a studio.Copy !req
41. And while I was out
picking philip upCopy !req
42. From daycare,
they came.Copy !req
43. They came
into my house.Copy !req
44. - That's—that's awful, angela.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
45. - It's the
that lives downstairs.Copy !req
46. She's this uptight,
judgmental shrew.Copy !req
47. You know the type.Copy !req
48. - I've never met anyone
like that.Copy !req
49. - And they're gone.Copy !req
50. And I have no one left.Copy !req
51. Without my cats, I am
utterly and completely alone.Copy !req
52. - Angela, you still
have your son.Copy !req
53. I guess.Copy !req
54. - Attention, everyone.
May I have your attention?Copy !req
55. There are four new
deadly weapons in this office.Copy !req
56. Basher, thrasher,
crasher, and—Copy !req
57. - Smasher.Copy !req
58. - "smasher"?Copy !req
59. No.
Where'd you get that?Copy !req
60. Fireball.Copy !req
61. Cut!Copy !req
62. This morning,
after hours of combatCopy !req
63. I earned my black belt
in goju ryu martial arts.Copy !req
64. I had to find
a new dojoCopy !req
65. After sensei ira and I
parted ways.Copy !req
66. My new sensei,
sensei billy,Copy !req
67. Thought I had
more than enough trainingCopy !req
68. Turns out sensei ira
was a bit of a shyster.Copy !req
69. Sensei billy
says most studentsCopy !req
70. Don't spend $150,000
over 20 yearsCopy !req
71. To get
their black belt.Copy !req
72. I would like
to invite you allCopy !req
73. To my black belt ceremony,Copy !req
74. Right here in the office
at lunch,Copy !req
75. Lunch not provided.Copy !req
76. - Fireball!
- Ahh!Copy !req
77. That's how
it's done.Copy !req
78. - That's pretty good.
I feel safe.Copy !req
79. - hey, erin.
Is andy in?Copy !req
80. - Oh, is andy in?Copy !req
81. Sorry, I-I thought
you said "is indian?"Copy !req
82. And I was like,
"is indian what?"Copy !req
83. Is indian food good?Copy !req
84. Is indian jewelry pretty?Copy !req
85. Is indian hair
an expensive kind of wig?Copy !req
86. Yes to all three,
by the way.Copy !req
87. Lately, I've been
having a lot of troubleCopy !req
88. Keeping track
of andy's calendar.Copy !req
89. His student film audition
schedule is crazy hectic.Copy !req
90. Yes.
There's andy.Copy !req
91. Andy is in.
I'm a good receptionist.Copy !req
92. I know
he's in.Copy !req
93. - David walrus
in his native habitat.Copy !req
94. hey, andy.Copy !req
95. Can we go in your office
and talk?Copy !req
96. - Yeah.Copy !req
97. - This isn't gonna
be an easy conversation.Copy !req
98. I told andy that he was
on very thin iceCopy !req
99. When he snuck away for three
months to the caribbean.Copy !req
100. Then last week,
he used company moneyCopy !req
101. To buy a top-of-the-line
photo printer.Copy !req
102. In his words, "the kind
that's good for head shots."Copy !req
103. And yesterday, he asked me
to pay for cheek implants.Copy !req
104. Claimed it's going
to boost office morale.Copy !req
105. Now, he's a good guy.Copy !req
106. But honestly,
at a certain point,Copy !req
107. The ice gets too thin,Copy !req
108. And you fall through.Copy !req
109. And that is
when you get fired.Copy !req
110. - I'm gonna stop you
right there.Copy !req
111. David, this documentary
is going to air in two weeks.Copy !req
112. I feel like it's a once
in a lifetime opportunityCopy !req
113. To pursue my dream.Copy !req
114. - Uh-huh.
But—Copy !req
115. - Every minute
that I spend hereCopy !req
116. Is time not spent
making audition videosCopy !req
117. For reality dating,
cooking, or singing shows.Copy !req
118. I got a real shot here.Copy !req
119. And I'll never be able
to forgive myselfCopy !req
120. If I blew it
because I was too focusedCopy !req
121. On my stupid
paper company job.Copy !req
122. - So you think you've been
too focused on your job?Copy !req
123. - At my last
head shot sitting,Copy !req
124. Wondering what I was
missing at workCopy !req
125. That I came across
totally manic.Copy !req
126. And I was going for zany.Copy !req
127. So you—you want
to quit dunder mifflinCopy !req
128. To pursue acting?Copy !req
129. - Well, no, actually.Copy !req
130. I see no reason to
limit myself to just acting.Copy !req
131. I am pursuing fame
of any kind.Copy !req
132. Could be singing.
Could be dancing.Copy !req
133. I don't—it just—Copy !req
134. I owe it to myself
and my future fans.Copy !req
135. - Uh, well, I guess
I can't standCopy !req
136. In the way
of a man's dream.Copy !req
137. And it seems
like you have the gift.Copy !req
138. - Thank you, david.Copy !req
139. - There's probably no way
I can talk youCopy !req
140. Into staying
at this point, huh?Copy !req
141. - Nope.
I have made up my mind.Copy !req
142. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
143. - Well, good luck.Copy !req
144. - Hey, thank you.Copy !req
145. Not gonna need it.Copy !req
146. - Okay.Copy !req
147. - Well, that kind of worked out.Copy !req
148. - I think just about anybody
could be a star.Copy !req
149. My postman,
the night janitor here—Copy !req
150. But andy?
No, definitely not.Copy !req
151. Charisma black hole.Copy !req
152. - Oh.
Clark.Copy !req
153. I'm actually here today.
Surprise.Copy !req
154. So I was wondering if maybe
I could have my desk back.Copy !req
155. - Right.
Yeah.Copy !req
156. But, you know, I've actually
been workingCopy !req
157. Pretty hard here
on a daily basis.Copy !req
158. So I kind of feel
like I've earned this.Copy !req
159. I mean, you know?
- You totally have.Copy !req
160. But maybe I could be
with my wife.Copy !req
161. It's kind of the whole reason
why I'm here.Copy !req
162. - Right.Copy !req
163. Well, I'm here
to sell paper.Copy !req
164. - Burn.
- Wow.Copy !req
165. - All right, jim, look.
I just got made junior salesman.Copy !req
166. Right?
And—and wallace is here today.Copy !req
167. And I don't want him
to just think of meCopy !req
168. As a customer service rep
that sits in the annex.Copy !req
169. I mean, you can
get that, right?Copy !req
170. And what do you need
more face time with wallace for?Copy !req
171. You trying to get a—
a second second job here?Copy !req
172. - It's okay.Copy !req
173. You can sit
in the annex.Copy !req
174. - What?
- I'll come visit you.Copy !req
175. - Okay.Copy !req
176. The annex it is.Copy !req
177. I'll be sitting
at your desk,Copy !req
178. If that's okay
with you.Copy !req
179. - It's fine with me.
Have fun.Copy !req
180. But be careful.Copy !req
181. It is very easy
to get lostCopy !req
182. In pete's beautiful,
dead eyes.Copy !req
183. - Everyone,
a little breaking news for you.Copy !req
184. Just had a little chat
with david wallace.Copy !req
185. And, um, I'm taking
a leave of absenceCopy !req
186. From dunder mifflin
forever.Copy !req
187. - I can't say
we didn't see it coming,Copy !req
188. But it's a sad day
when anybody is fired.Copy !req
189. - Uh, uh, uh, uh,
andy was not fired.Copy !req
190. - I wasn't fired.Copy !req
191. what are you talking about?Copy !req
192. I'm fired up. Yes.Copy !req
193. Guys, I'm—
I'm leaving to pursueCopy !req
194. My lifelong dream
of being famous.Copy !req
195. - Oh, andy.Copy !req
196. - Yeah, so I'll see you
on the red carpet.Copy !req
197. 'cause see,
that's how it works.Copy !req
198. - Andy sings beautifully,Copy !req
199. And he's really good
at dancing.Copy !req
200. He's a good speaker.Copy !req
201. But there's just something there
you don't want to look at.Copy !req
202. - Heyyou probablyoing
as your dmiss clark.Y the way?Copy !req
203. - Yeah, a little bit.Copy !req
204. - Oh, wow.
But, um—oh, I get that—Copy !req
205. - Oh, no, no.
No, it's cool.Copy !req
206. - I get it.
- It's cool, man.Copy !req
207. I'm sure you and I
will have our own thing.Copy !req
208. - Yeah.
Definitely.Copy !req
209. Go phillies, right?Copy !req
210. You don't watch baseball.
I keep forgetting that.Copy !req
211. - I just think you're going
into this a little fast.Copy !req
212. - I'm 38, darryl.
How much slower should I go?Copy !req
213. - Show business is cold.Copy !req
214. Let's say you get a job,
which you probably won't.Copy !req
215. They're not gonna cut you
any slack.Copy !req
216. You're meant for a job
with lots and lots of slack.Copy !req
217. All right.
I get it.Copy !req
218. The male
is a funny species.Copy !req
219. We don't just tell each other
how we feel.Copy !req
220. That's chick stuff.Copy !req
221. So instead of saying,
"hey, andy, I love you, man.Copy !req
222. I don't want you to leave,"Copy !req
223. You say something like,Copy !req
224. "hey, andy, you're making
the worst mistake of your life.Copy !req
225. You're not talented."Copy !req
226. Well...Copy !req
227. Right back at you, darryl.Copy !req
228. I'm gonna miss you, too.Copy !req
229. Mmm!Copy !req
230. - Andy's from the generation
that thinksCopy !req
231. They should all be famous.Copy !req
232. What happened
to the generationCopy !req
233. That knew you shut up,
did your work,Copy !req
234. And died quietly
from a heart attack?Copy !req
235. - Could andy make it
as an entertainer?Copy !req
236. I don't know.Copy !req
237. You know
who's really funny?Copy !req
238. This bird in the park
that can't fly right.Copy !req
239. I'd pay to see him.Copy !req
240. But I don't have to,
'cause the park is free.Copy !req
241. Hyuh! Hyah!Copy !req
242. - I will now performCopy !req
243. The ceremonial changing
of the belts.Copy !req
244. The ceremonial changing
of the belts.Copy !req
245. - It's not a large room.
I think they heard me.Copy !req
246. - Take my belt, master.Copy !req
247. I now submit to you
every part of myself.Copy !req
248. - That's really okay.Copy !req
249. I'm mostly focused
on the belt here.Copy !req
250. - Just slip it off my—
slip it off my hips.Copy !req
251. - Hold it—
take a step back.Copy !req
252. Take a step back.Copy !req
253. Okay, okay,
I can't—Copy !req
254. I can't do this if you're gonna
be thrusting like that, okay?Copy !req
255. I think we're gonna have
to cut this off.Copy !req
256. The ceremonial cutting off
of the belt.Copy !req
257. He—oh.Copy !req
258. - Gah! Hyah!Copy !req
259. - Dwight has been
practicing karate for years.Copy !req
260. When we were dating,Copy !req
261. I would help him
with his strength training.Copy !req
262. He would strap me
to his chestCopy !req
263. In a baby bjorn
made for fat childrenCopy !req
264. And do lunges
across the farm.Copy !req
265. I felt
like I was flying.Copy !req
266. - There it is.Copy !req
267. - Congratulations.
- We did it, we did it.Copy !req
268. I love you.
- Okay.Copy !req
269. - Thanks.Copy !req
270. I will now perform
my final kata forms.Copy !req
271. You're going to watch me, right?
- Yes, I will.Copy !req
272. Sensei, you're not watching.
- Yeah, I'm watching.Copy !req
273. Just do it.Copy !req
274. Ho!
Ha!Copy !req
275. Watching?
- I'm watching.Copy !req
276. watch this part, okay?Copy !req
277. Huh, gah!
Gah!Copy !req
278. Ha, ha, whoo.
- Oh!Copy !req
279. - Sensei, do you generally
do house calls like this?Copy !req
280. - Uh, you can just
call me billy.Copy !req
281. And no.
No, but dwight insisted.Copy !req
282. He wanted
to receive his black beltCopy !req
283. In the place
he loves most in the world.Copy !req
284. - He said that?Copy !req
285. He's an odd guy, isn't he?
- Yes.Copy !req
286. Irritating?
Also yes.Copy !req
287. But I've got
to hand it to him,Copy !req
288. He is one of the most
tenacious and determined menCopy !req
289. I've ever met.Copy !req
290. - Hyuah! Hah!Copy !req
291. Hut!Copy !req
292. Ha—ah!Copy !req
293. Unh! Kyah!Copy !req
294. Ha! Ahah! Aah!Copy !req
295. - Oh!Copy !req
296. I am so proud of you,
schrooberry blue.Copy !req
297. - And—and nothingke
I is worth that.R.Copy !req
298. - Well, I tell you, jim,Copy !req
299. A lot of guys
in my circle?Copy !req
300. They wouldn't even
change their golf scheduleCopy !req
301. Let alone
their professional goals.Copy !req
302. - Dude, there is no way
that jim is just back hereCopy !req
303. To "hang out with pam."Copy !req
304. you did not just say that.Copy !req
305. You don't know pam.
She is really cool.Copy !req
306. - All I'm saying is,
forget about my chair.Copy !req
307. He wants
the manager's chair.Copy !req
308. And I thought
you wanted that job.Copy !req
309. - Yeah, I did.Copy !req
310. But I made
too many mistakes.Copy !req
311. It's out
of my reach now.Copy !req
312. Besides, I think jim
would be a fine manager.Copy !req
313. I'd be happy
to see jim as manager.Copy !req
314. - So the reason
I called you in hereCopy !req
315. Is because andy
is moving on.Copy !req
316. - Again.Copy !req
317. - Again.Copy !req
318. And I'm looking
for a new manager.Copy !req
319. And with his performance
this year,Copy !req
320. I have been
considering dwight.Copy !req
321. Am I crazy?Copy !req
322. - Not at all.Copy !req
323. It should be dwight.Copy !req
324. - you sure?Copy !req
325. In a lot more
liability insurance,Copy !req
326. But, uh...
- Yeah.Copy !req
327. - Hey, if there's someone who
loves paper more than dwight,Copy !req
328. I definitely don't want
to meet that person.Copy !req
329. - Andy, we just wondered
if we could have a word.Copy !req
330. - It's now or never.Copy !req
331. - Well, we just had
a quick questionCopy !req
332. About this decision
of yours.Copy !req
333. You know,
to leave a stable jobCopy !req
334. And pursue a career
in the entertainment businessCopy !req
335. In your late 30sCopy !req
336. With no savings
to fall back onCopy !req
337. And no real connections
in that business,Copy !req
338. Which can be competitive.Copy !req
339. - Yeah, sure.
What's your question?Copy !req
340. - Our question is—Copy !req
341. It seems dumb.Copy !req
342. - Well, it's better
than sticking around hereCopy !req
343. And half-assing it,
right?Copy !req
344. - Of course.Copy !req
345. But what if you were
to stay here,Copy !req
346. You know,
and "full-ass" it?Copy !req
347. - Yeah.
- Um, really give it a go?Copy !req
348. Be the greatest manager
in the history of this branchCopy !req
349. And in that way,Copy !req
350. Achieve the fame
and immortality that you seek?Copy !req
351. Hmm?Copy !req
352. - Nah.
I like my plan better.Copy !req
353. - Well, andy,
your plan sucks, okay?Copy !req
354. Nobody is going
to hire you ever.Copy !req
355. You're too character-y
to be a lead,Copy !req
356. And you're not fat enough
to be a great character actor.Copy !req
357. - What?Copy !req
358. - No, I don't think
he can make it as an actor.Copy !req
359. But he also can't make it
as an employee in an office,Copy !req
360. So, you know,
why not go nuts with it?Copy !req
361. - Hey, are you still in charge
of office supplies?Copy !req
362. - Yes. Yeah.Copy !req
363. - I seem to have
a sticky note emergency,Copy !req
364. Where I grab it
on the wrong end,Copy !req
365. And then,
this happens.Copy !req
366. - If you could
help me out, that would be—Copy !req
367. - I could give you
some beginner stickies?Copy !req
368. - Anything would help.
Thank you.Copy !req
369. - Here you go.Copy !req
370. If you did have a salt packet,
three tacks, and some aspirin,Copy !req
371. That'd be great.Copy !req
372. Oh, wow. You have that.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
373. - Wow, that's—
- it's all yours.Copy !req
374. - You come so prepared.Copy !req
375. - Aspirin.Copy !req
376. If you want to get rid
of a headache,Copy !req
377. You sit
on something sharp.Copy !req
378. Any sensei
will tell you that.Copy !req
379. - Hey, congratulations
on that black belt, man.Copy !req
380. It's really great.Copy !req
381. - Thank you.Copy !req
382. So I saw you talking
to wallace earlier.Copy !req
383. Is he going to offer you
the manager's job?Copy !req
384. - No.Copy !req
385. He was maybe thinking
of you for it.Copy !req
386. - Yeah, right.Copy !req
387. I'm afraid that ship
has sailed.Copy !req
388. - I wouldn't be too sure
about that.Copy !req
389. Just saying.Copy !req
390. - Hello.
- Well, hello.Copy !req
391. - Big day for you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
392. - Love the belt.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
393. - You know, I don't know
anything about karate,Copy !req
394. But I have broken
a few boards in my day.Copy !req
395. - Hi-yah.Copy !req
396. Diving boards
at my family pool in redding.Copy !req
397. I was an obese child.Copy !req
398. I never talk
about that here,Copy !req
399. But nard-dog's outta here,
so lettin' it all hang out.Copy !req
400. - This is exciting.Copy !req
401. You're finally gonna get
to go out and flap your wings.Copy !req
402. - Thank you.
I appreciate that.Copy !req
403. 'cause a lot of people
are saying I might not make it.Copy !req
404. - Oh, I doubt
you'll make it.Copy !req
405. Very few do
who try to be a star.Copy !req
406. But listen,
you've saved up enough moneyCopy !req
407. To take
a couple of years off,Copy !req
408. And pursue your dream,
and have some fun, right?Copy !req
409. - No, I just applied
for more overdraft protection.Copy !req
410. - Andy, I have nothing to gain
from getting you to stay,Copy !req
411. And everything to gain
from you leaving.Copy !req
412. But please,
I have known you for years.Copy !req
413. I have seen you perform.Copy !req
414. Dear god,
don't quit your day job.Copy !req
415. nothing is impossibleCopy !req
416. To him who will try.Copy !req
417. Alexander the great,
if he were cockney.Copy !req
418. - You're bad.Copy !req
419. - I'm gonna make it.Copy !req
420. Every person
who's been on conanCopy !req
421. Has a crazy story
about how they made it.Copy !req
422. Every person.Copy !req
423. Erin.Copy !req
424. Honest erin.
Cannot tell a lie.Copy !req
425. - Oh.
- We lay together.Copy !req
426. That's something
you can't take back.Copy !req
427. - So true.Copy !req
428. Is there a question,
or are—what?Copy !req
429. - Will you tell me bluntly?Copy !req
430. Do you think I'm making
a terrible mistakeCopy !req
431. Quitting my job
to become an actor?Copy !req
432. - Bluntly?
Yes.Copy !req
433. Huge mistake.Copy !req
434. Andy, honestly, I think
you might become homelessCopy !req
435. Or maybe even starve.Copy !req
436. - Thank you.Copy !req
437. - You can stay on
as a salesman, andy.Copy !req
438. - Thank you.Copy !req
439. Dwight, could you come in here
for a second, please?Copy !req
440. - Will you be
the new manager?Copy !req
441. - Where?Copy !req
442. - Where?
- What branch?Copy !req
443. - Here. Scranton.Copy !req
444. Come on.Copy !req
445. Come on, dwight.
Get up.Copy !req
446. Let's go.
It's good news.Copy !req
447. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
448. I've just waited for this moment
my entire life.Copy !req
449. I mean, I was
interim manager once,Copy !req
450. But then I shot that gun.Copy !req
451. - What?Copy !req
452. - But this isn't
interim manager.Copy !req
453. No.Copy !req
454. It's dwight k. Schrute...Copy !req
455. Manager.Copy !req
456. - Why do you already
have this?Copy !req
457. Ever got killed
in a traffic accidentCopy !req
458. And there was a trade show
on the same day.Copy !req
459. You will not regret
this decision, david.Copy !req
460. - I know.Copy !req
461. - I will never,
ever let you down.Copy !req
462. - I know, dwight.Copy !req
463. I know.Copy !req
464. Okay.Copy !req
465. Okay.
All righty.Copy !req
466. You're gonna do great.Copy !req
467. - Hey.
- Wow, hey.Copy !req
468. - Hi.Copy !req
469. - what's up?Copy !req
470. - Um, I have a question.
- Okay.Copy !req
471. - Oh, I had a question.Copy !req
472. - Really?Copy !req
473. - I did!
- Yeah, totally you did.Copy !req
474. - Super important.Copy !req
475. - I need you to stay right here
while you think about it.Copy !req
476. - Okay.
- All right? I'm gonna wait.Copy !req
477. I did not come back here
just to see you.Copy !req
478. - No, I'm sure
you did not.Copy !req
479. what was your question?Copy !req
480. But it might take me
a long time to figure it out.Copy !req
481. - Well, then,
I should figure outCopy !req
482. Things to do
while I'm waiting.Copy !req
483. - Exactly.Copy !req
484. - Hey, everybody.
I changed my mind.Copy !req
485. Not leaving.Copy !req
486. I'm gonna stay on
in sales.Copy !req
487. - Oh, thank god...Copy !req
488. Because sales could be
your best role yet.Copy !req
489. - Hey.
Good choice, man.Copy !req
490. Seriously.Copy !req
491. Don't wanna see you
in a porn next year.Copy !req
492. - Okay.Copy !req
493. - Ooh, there's a great play
about a salesman.Copy !req
494. - Death of a salesman.Copy !req
495. - I don't think so.Copy !req
496. - Sure, death of a salesman
by arthur miller.Copy !req
497. It's a great play
about crushed dreams.Copy !req
498. - Mm, no, this one was written
by spongebob squarepants.Copy !req
499. Got any hot leads?Copy !req
500. - See, so you just push
from under,Copy !req
501. And turn it around,
and boom.Copy !req
502. Now, the staple
crimps outward.Copy !req
503. - I had
no idea.Copy !req
504. And here, I've been stapling
the same way for 20 yearsCopy !req
505. Like a frickin' sheep.Copy !req
506. - Look who's back.
- I'm back.Copy !req
507. - Oh! Hey, look, and now,
it's like a double date.Copy !req
508. - Wow.Copy !req
509. - 'cause, uh—
bop, bop.Copy !req
510. Tweedle-lee-doo.Copy !req
511. Actually, maybe we should
go on a double date sometime.Copy !req
512. - Yeah, we should do that
for real sometime.Copy !req
513. - Well, how about Thursday?Copy !req
514. - Oh, well,
Thursday's tough because—Copy !req
515. - Weeknights are actually tough
just because—Copy !req
516. - They are.
That's true, yeah.Copy !req
517. - Just forget it.Copy !req
518. Forget I said anything.
- Oh.Copy !req
519. - Attention, everyone.Copy !req
520. Just a quick announcement.Copy !req
521. Little reconfiguration
to the staff.Copy !req
522. Dwight schrute—
- david.Copy !req
523. And then, I'll never,
ever do it again.Copy !req
524. - I don't think so.
- It's just one thing.Copy !req
525. Just let me—let me do this—
- dwight—dwight—dwight.Copy !req
526. Come on—what I was
about to say is dwight—Copy !req
527. Oh.Copy !req
528. I-I'm sorry,
I gotta—Copy !req
529. - Just wait
and send it to voice mail.Copy !req
530. - Yeah.Copy !req
531. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
532. - Then we'll get him
a new set of drums.Copy !req
533. - Oh, my god.Copy !req
534. Oh, my god.Copy !req
535. Dwight schrute
is manager!Copy !req
536. - oh, yeah!Copy !req
537. - Whoo!Copy !req
538. - Brava.
Brava.Copy !req
539. - Way to go, dwight.
- Whoo!Copy !req
540. - Creed bratton
is the new manager!Copy !req
541. - Congrats.Copy !req
542. - What's going on?
- Dwight's the new manager.Copy !req
543. He freaking did it.Copy !req
544. - Congratulations, dwight.Copy !req
545. - Pam.Copy !req
546. - Congratulations, buddy.Copy !req
547. - Thank you, jim.Copy !req
548. - Congrats, dwight.Copy !req
549. - Get out
of jim's seat.Copy !req
550. - Wha—but I fought
for this seat.Copy !req
551. - You're an annex kid.
You might be bullpen.Copy !req
552. We'll see.
Give it a couple years.Copy !req
553. Scram.Copy !req
554. It's nice
to have you back.Copy !req
555. - So...
- So...Copy !req
556. - I wanted to offer you
a new position.Copy !req
557. - Let's hear it.Copy !req
558. - Assistant regional manager.Copy !req
559. - Nope.
Can't accept that job.Copy !req
560. It's not a real job.
- Jim.Copy !req
561. - I'll tell you
what I could acceptCopy !req
562. Is assistant
to the regional manager.Copy !req
563. That is a real job,
and one I'd be proud to take.Copy !req
564. - Shake on it?Copy !req
565. done. Way to negotiate, idiot.Copy !req
566. - Don't get me wrong.
I am definitely here for pam.Copy !req
567. But this is
an awesome added bonus.Copy !req
568. - Hey, I didn't get a chance
to say it, but...Copy !req
569. Congratulations, dwight.Copy !req
570. - thank you.Copy !req
571. - Ahem.
Yes, congratulations.Copy !req
572. - Yeah, and, dwight,
I'd like to beCopy !req
573. The first
to say congratulations.Copy !req
574. - This is a big day for you.Copy !req
575. - Hmm.Copy !req
576. Yes, it is.Copy !req
577. Carry on.Copy !req
578. - How did I just abandon
my dream so quickly?Copy !req
579. It's 'cause I had a fallback.
That's the problem.Copy !req
580. When you have fallbacks,
it's just easy to give up.Copy !req
581. When cortez
landed in mexico,Copy !req
582. Only way he got his men
to defeat the aztecsCopy !req
583. Was by burning
all of his own boatsCopy !req
584. So they could never
return home.Copy !req
585. Huge dick move,Copy !req
586. But very effective.Copy !req
587. I need to be that same kind
of dick to myself.Copy !req
588. Everyone!Copy !req
589. Changed my mind again.
- Which is it now?Copy !req
590. Dream or no dream?
- Uh, dream.Copy !req
591. Goin' with my dream.Copy !req
592. Gotta go all in.
Ain't that right, jim?Copy !req
593. - Oh, don't look
at me,Copy !req
594. 'cause I think you're making
a terrible choice.Copy !req
595. - All in!Copy !req
596. Whoo!Copy !req
597. Toby!Copy !req
598. Hey.
I changed my mind again.Copy !req
599. I am gonna leave dunder mifflin
to pursue acting after all.Copy !req
600. - Okay, then, andy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
601. But here's the thing.Copy !req
602. I can't have good old
dunder mifflin to fall back on,Copy !req
603. Or else
I'll never succeed.Copy !req
604. Gotta burn
those boats!Copy !req
605. So I need you
to go into my fileCopy !req
606. And put down
that I was fired for theftCopy !req
607. And/or groping wieners.Copy !req
608. - A-andy, you know
I can't do that.Copy !req
609. It'd be lying.
- Seriously?Copy !req
610. - Yeah, I'm—
- come on, just do it.Copy !req
611. - I can't.
- All right, fine.Copy !req
612. Just know
that you made me do this.Copy !req
613. - Oh, come on.
Andy, no.Copy !req
614. - God, toby, don't—
stop blocking my hand.Copy !req
615. - This is your—
you brought this on.Copy !req
616. - No, no.
Andy.Copy !req
617. - Okay, all right.
Groped you good.Copy !req
618. Off to hollywood!Copy !req
619. - This is angela.Copy !req
620. Oh.Copy !req
621. Hello, miss polodnikovski.Copy !req
622. Uh, how can
I help you?Copy !req
623. Did my rent check
not clear?Copy !req
624. Because I just transferred
another $25 to that account.Copy !req
625. So if there's a problem,
it's clearly on your end.Copy !req
626. And—oh.Copy !req
627. Oh.
Oh, okay.Copy !req
628. Good.Copy !req
629. Then, um...Copy !req
630. What is this about?Copy !req
631. No, no.
Hey, hey.Copy !req
632. No, you are out of line,
miss polodnikovski.Copy !req
633. No. No, you are.Copy !req
634. No, you are!Copy !req
635. Evicted? Fine!Copy !req
636. I don't want to live
in that cesspool anyway.Copy !req
637. Listen, I get
my security deposit back.Copy !req
638. Yes, I do.
Ye—Copy !req
639. That is not fair!
That is not fair!Copy !req
640. You have so many hairs
on your chin,Copy !req
641. Animal control
should've taken you away.Copy !req
642. that is very unladylike.Copy !req
643. You are disgusting!Copy !req
644. - What do you think
that was about?Copy !req
645. - David.Copy !req
646. I lost the scranton
white pages account.Copy !req
647. Do you have any idea
how much paper that is?Copy !req
648. And I'd just like
to point outCopy !req
649. I was mad at dwight.Copy !req
650. - We put the past
behind us, though, andy.Copy !req
651. - When have I told you
I hate you and this company?Copy !req
652. - Enough, andy.
Enough!Copy !req
653. - Just stop forgiving me, david.
Please?Copy !req
654. This is my last chance to honor
what is best inside myself.Copy !req
655. What if I took a dump
on your new car?Copy !req
656. - Oh, my god.Copy !req
657. - Eleanor roosevelt
once said,Copy !req
658. "the future belongs
to thoseCopy !req
659. Who believe in the beauty
of their dreams."Copy !req
660. I think she's right.Copy !req
661. I feel calm now.
- Get out!Copy !req
662. Get out!Copy !req
663. - I feel, like,
for the first timeCopy !req
664. In a long time,
I'm doing the right thing.Copy !req
665. - Andy.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
666. - Uh, heavy stuff
like books on the bottom.Copy !req
667. So it won't squash
my knickety-knacks on top.Copy !req
668. - Yeah, okay,
that's not what I mean.Copy !req
669. You don't have to leave
because you said you would.Copy !req
670. Don't let pride ruin
your whole life.Copy !req
671. Okay?Copy !req
672. It's not worth it.Copy !req
673. - Wow.Copy !req
674. Angela.Copy !req
675. What we had was great,Copy !req
676. And, honestly, I think
about it a lot too...Copy !req
677. - Ugh.Copy !req
678. - But I just—
it's in the past.Copy !req
679. And I feel like we shouldn't...
- No, that's not—Copy !req
680. - Rehash—
- no, none—no, stop.Copy !req
681. It's just—Copy !req
682. - Exactly.
- Okay.Copy !req
683. Well, have a good trip.Copy !req
684. Good luck, andy.Copy !req
685. - Thanks, angela.
You too.Copy !req
686. - Thanks.Copy !req
687. A-bridge a-burnt.Copy !req
688. No turning back now.Copy !req
689. Everybody, lorelei and ICopy !req
690. Would like to say thank you
and good-byeCopy !req
691. The only way
we know how.Copy !req
692. - Oh, good lord.
- Can't you just leave?Copy !req
693. - You know, andy, you could just
say a really nice good-bye.Copy !req
694. - Tuna, I'm a performer,Copy !req
695. And perform I shall.Copy !req
696. - You okay?Copy !req
697. - It's just
a really nice song.Copy !req
698. - Awesome.Copy !req
699. - nice!Copy !req
700. - thanks, meredith.Copy !req
701. Mm.
- Who knows?Copy !req
702. Maybe andy will make it.Copy !req
703. He's not terrible.
- Yeah.Copy !req
704. And people worse than him
make it all the time,Copy !req
705. Like lil' romeo.Copy !req
706. - No, he's good.Copy !req
707. - He was good.Copy !req
708. - Good night, kevin.
- Night, oscar.Copy !req
709. - Tents?Copy !req
710. Are you thinking
of going camping?Copy !req
711. I thought you found
nature vulgar.Copy !req
712. - Well, I've changed
my mind.Copy !req
713. wait a minute, angela.Copy !req
714. You're not thinking
of living in a tent—Copy !req
715. - Oh, god, would you just mind
your own business?Copy !req
716. - Okay, listen.
I'm just gonna say this.Copy !req
717. You are not going to live
in a tent.Copy !req
718. - Oh, god.
- Come stay with me.Copy !req
719. - You don't want me
at your place.Copy !req
720. - I do. Yes.Copy !req
721. Not forever, but u-until
you get back on your feet,Copy !req
722. Which won't be long.Copy !req
723. It's the least I can do.Copy !req
724. - Well...Copy !req
725. - Separate bathrooms.Copy !req
726. Thank you.Copy !req
727. - You're welcome.Copy !req
728. Let's go get philip.Copy !req
729. Then, we'll get your stuff...
- Okay.Copy !req
730. - And you get the hell out
of that place.Copy !req
731. - Okay.Copy !req
732. - Are you allowed
to have pets?Copy !req
733. - Oh, angela.Copy !req
734. - Yesterday, I was just your
average, ordinary paper salesmanCopy !req
735. With a farm and a bunch
of pipe dreams about beet fuel.Copy !req
736. Today, I leave here a regional
manager with a black belt.Copy !req
737. It really is amazing
how your life can changeCopy !req
738. In one day.Copy !req
739. - You talk
to wade and colin?Copy !req
740. - No, I just saw
I missed their call.Copy !req
741. - What kind of offer?
- A buyout.Copy !req
742. - What?
- We're in play, baby.Copy !req
743. - Oh, my god.
- We did it.Copy !req
744. - We did it!
- Ah, ha, ha, ha, ho!Copy !req
745. - Hey, and look.Copy !req
746. The buyers wanna make sure
it's not just a philly play.Copy !req
747. So get this.Copy !req
748. They're gonna pay for us
to go pitch out west.Copy !req
749. We talking spurs,
the jazz, cowboys.Copy !req
750. Blake griffin, baby.Copy !req
751. - Wow, that is...
- Yeah.Copy !req
752. - Wow.
- We did it.Copy !req
753. - Yeah, we did it.Copy !req
754. Hey, how long—how long do
we think that's gonna take?Copy !req
755. - Wade said we could do the
whole country in three months.Copy !req
756. - Oh, man.Copy !req
757. Yeah, I can't do it.Copy !req
758. - Can't do what?Copy !req
759. - This, man.
I-I can't do this to pam.Copy !req
760. - No, no.
Jim, this is different.Copy !req
761. This is everything.Copy !req
762. I know.Copy !req
763. And I—
and I can't do it.Copy !req
764. So is your place all bachelor,
slobby, and gross?Copy !req
765. - Nope, it's neat
and tastefully appointedCopy !req
766. Like most gay men's homes.Copy !req
767. The stereotype holds up.Copy !req
768. - I wouldn't know.
I never lived with a gay guy.Copy !req
769. - Angela, you just were—Copy !req
770. I love him.Copy !req
771. - I know.Copy !req
772. - I understand
more than most,Copy !req
773. But we both have
to move on.Copy !req
774. You—you can't—c—Copy !req
775. - No, not the senator.Copy !req
776. I love dwight.Copy !req