The Office 8x5

Directed by Randall Einhorn

Zach Woods as Gabe Lewis • Ellie Kemper as Erin Hannon • Creed Bratton as Creed Bratton • Mindy Kaling as Kelly Kapoor • Kate Flannery as Meredith Palmer

Erin works to make a spooky, non-childish Halloween party with help from Gabe. Dwight becomes friends with Robert's son, and Pam and Jim debate the existence of ghosts. Meanwhile, Robert tries to figure out everyone's deepest fears.

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1. Approved

2. Chef from South Park. It's genius. Just some chef.

3. I've decided to pre-screen all of the Halloween costumes this year

4. I have three simple rules

5. don't be offensive don't be cliché

6. and don't take the first two rules too seriously

7. The gorilla from Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

8. Huh?

9. The one who sacrifices his life

10. Whoa! Oh

11. Spoiler alert It's been out for ages, man.

12. Costume vetoed

13. Uh.

14. It's... Somebody's already called that

15. Who? Kevin has a gorilla suit you could borrow.

16. This is ridiculous! Why can't there just be two Kate Middletons?

17. Guys, I know, I mean I wish there could be too

18. It's like I can't choose

19. They're both amazing, it's just

20. Look, I stayed up all night and I watched that g. D. wedding

21. and then I came to work and I made everyone else watch it all day

22. Meredith wasn't even here Because I was there

23. You're the people's princess! Diana was nothing!

24. I thought you were at your sister's funeral

25. What I said was "My sister's funeral is this weekend.'

26. Didn't say I'd be there

27. Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story?

28. Warms my heart thinking about them two kids...

29. doing it

30. Can I maybe squeeze through?

31. Here you go There we go. Thank you.

32. When they talk about app the nice things about dating a co-worker,

33. they don't mention one of the best parts.

34. After you're done dating, you still get to work together every single day

35. Jim, put it on

36. Put it on, man

37. I don't know if I can. Come on the Three Amigos

38. Three Kings. All right

39. I know, I know, I know. But Darryl and Kevin needed a third.

40. They bought me this jersey. I said no

41. Kevin started crying, so I am Chris Bosh.

42. If you get into season one, you know, really

43. Oh, my God, what the he is wrong with you?

44. It's called a costume

45. What are you? Some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?

46. Ryan, will you please tell her who I am? Whoopi Goldberg.

47. Has no one here heard of Kerrigan, from StarCraft?

48. Queen of blades

49. It's all Toby's fault

50. Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing

51. You can't bring weapons into the office.

52. And every year he says the same thing.

53. "As soon as I get my weapons back, I'm going to kill you."

54. But there I am at Thanksgiving alive, you know?

55. I'm a lucky turkey

56. Everybody looking good? This is the best we can do?

57. I'm not judging. I think you guys look great, I just

58. want to make sure this is the best we can do

59. I just got a text from Broccoli Rob. "Boo!'

60. It scared me

61. And then I got this text from Robert California

62. "Looking forward to Halloween party Expectations are high.'

63. Scared the ♪ out of me

64. G'day, Pameroo Could you shoot this off for me?

65. Yeah. Australian accent

66. What are you doing? I just wanted to see how you do it.

67. If you're doing something I don't

68. Are you That Andy so hot and cold

69. One day he's like, "Fax these documents, please.'

70. The next he's like, "Pam, you fax them. Who cares what Erin's feeling." Right?

71. Oh, Erin Pam

72. how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of one to three?

73. Um

74. Two?

75. It's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear

76. No, I mean you're doing great

77. and Andy put you in charge of the whole party, right?

78. Yeah Yeah.

79. Send completed. You are the best in the biz. I can't deny

80. Bob and I are doing this Scranton haunted walking tour

81. I always wondered what kind of people went on that thing.

82. Hey, if you go by the Banshee Pub

83. tell the Man in Black I say hello

84. What happened, Pam? Okay.

85. When I was 22, I worked there and everybody said the place was haunted.

86. I didn't believe it until one day before we opened

87. I look up into the mirror you know, behind the bar?

88. And I see this old man dressed all in black,

89. but when I turn around there's no one there.

90. So, I tell the cook my story Wait, they have food there?

91. and he said

92. "That's what everyone sees That's the Man in Black.'

93. No. My wife does not believe in ghosts

94. Hey Hey

95. Oh

96. This Man in Black thing What do you think that was about?

97. What do you mean? Was it like trickery in the lights

98. or maybe you were so primed to see it then there it was

99. I saw a ghost Mm-hmm

100. What I'm saying is, like do you ever wonder what it was?

101. It was a ghost. I told you this on like our first date

102. Yeah, I had just told you about the day that I met the Blue Angels.

103. I figured you had to top it I don't know what to tell you, Jim

104. but I saw a ghost

105. Hey

106. Uh-oh

107. Looks like we're under a Jack attack. - Yes, Andrew.

108. And you, on this day of fantasy, are a labourer

109. Yes Everyone, this is Bert, my son.

110. Bert, this is a paper company

111. Hey, Bert

112. Hello

113. Can I use a computer? I need to check a hurricane

114. Here, use this one

115. All right

116. Oh, look, pin the word on the witch

117. How did you know I was bringing my son?

118. I didn't. It was for us But he can play.

119. Berty Boy, would you like to play this game?

120. That stuff's for babies

121. Perhaps this party will awaken the baby in all of us

122. Wow. Who shot our grownup party with the kiddy ray gun?

123. We're still getting it set up It's going to be really cool

124. Extraordinary. Did you plan this?

125. Well, Toby and I did, yeah

126. And I overheard and thought "Hey, that'd be fun don't mind if I do.'

127. If you turn out the lights we'll do a little dance

128. One, two, three

129. Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

130. Now we're the skeleton crew

131. Delightful. Thank you

132. Now then how are we today?

133. Fine Great.

134. Just fine, Kelly? Everything all right?

135. Mm-hmm

136. You feeling fulfilled in your life?

137. I guess

138. You guess? So there is something you want that you

139. do not have

140. Try not to think about it

141. Because it's too terrifying to imagine

142. Now we're cooking

143. What is it, Kelly? What is this great fear of yours?

144. Never marrying Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary.

145. And how are you, Toby?

146. So great

147. Oh, I put those up. I know. I'm taking them down.

148. I almost wonder if putting nothing on this wall

149. is more Halloween-y

150. I don't know about this, guys

151. Andy put me in charge of the Halloween party, so.

152. Well, Andy sent us in here, so which is it?

153. Oh

154. So can we speak our minds now? Or are we still sparing feelings?

155. Because I hate all of this.

156. Very low pressure in the Sargasso Sea

157. Warm air from South America

158. Cold air from Greenland All signs point to the perfect storm.

159. Perfectly mediocre

160. What are you, anyway?

161. I'm a Jamaican zombie woman Leave me alone, ghoul

162. If you had some really big wings with blades on the end

163. you'd kind of look like Kerrigan from StarCraft.

164. Damn it! I am Kerrigan from StarCraft. I've been censored.

165. If you're going to be a Zerg, at least be a lurker

166. Not some girl. Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg swarm

167. Yeah. She also has boobs. Yeah, but no nipples

168. Hey Hey, what's up?

169. November's sure creeping up, ain't it? You can't stop that month

170. Hey, what's the jive with Angela and Phyllis helping with the party, you know?

171. Um

172. I just thought you could use some help, you know?

173. 'Cause Robert came in and thought the party seemed a little kiddy.

174. And I guess I agreed And maybe we could

175. mix a little more 13 into the PG.

176. But that's it?

177. There's nothing about me or l?

178. Can we talk about it at the end of the day?

179. I got a call I got to make a call

180. Yeah, sorry Yes, we can

181. Yes. I don't know

182. Mm-hmm

183. Gabe? Sweet Erin

184. I'm throwing the Halloween party and I just want to amp it up a little.

185. I think it could use some extra pizzazz

186. Okay. Where does Gabe factor in?

187. Remember that Halloween party you took me to once?

188. The one where I started crying as soon as I walked in

189. and I didn't stop crying? Yes. Lars and Takako's

190. Okay, well let's say that I wanted this party to be a tiny

191. tiny bit like that one

192. just more adult, more scary and sexy

193. I will make this sexier than you could ever imagine

194. No, just scary. If we wanted ideas for scary stuff

195. No, that'd be scary What are you thinking about?

196. All right, let me go get it

197. Pam Halpert Hey. It's Jim Halpert.

198. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight

199. 'cause I've read a lot about this really great documentary

200. Is it called Ghostbusters? It's called Ghostbusters.

201. It didn't look like that

202. He didn't have a buster sign around him?

203. Why don't you draw him? Why don't we see this old man?

204. Okay. Yeah. Fine, I'll draw him Okay.

205. I ain't afraid of no ghosts

206. Whoa

207. Mm-hmm

208. Dwight, are you eating a stick? It's a root, idiot.

209. Okay

210. Everyone hates you. That's really rude

211. I don't tell you hurricanes suck even though it's true

212. What do you like, tornadoes? Try influenza

213. Yeah? What's the vaccine you could take to avoid a hurricane?

214. Open up a newspaper. Look, a hurricane's coming

215. I suppose you're going to tell me the scariest animal is a shark.

216. Try box jellyfish

217. What are we talking about?

218. I was talking about my wife and how she believes in ghosts

219. Then we had a little debate and then Meredith said that she believes in them too

220. You seem unimpressed. Ghosts don't scare you?

221. I'm only scared of real things, like serial killers and kidnappers.

222. Not things that don't exist like ghosts or mummies

223. Mummies are real There are mummies at museums

224. Yeah

225. You prank

226. It's true. They've been preserved for

227. thousands of years They're all over.

228. Why on Earth would a museum put a mummy in it?

229. A little witch's brew?

230. I grew this party up real fast.

231. Get out of here, little kid party. Nobody loves you.

232. And clean up your room Grownups are going to use it later

233. The party looks fun doesn't it?

234. Everybody seems to be in there having a great time

235. So maybe now would be a great time for me to pop back on the computer

236. I'm using it. I'm about to play StarCraft with him

237. You serious? Yeah, I'm serious

238. Hey, hey. That's funny

239. Okay. Loser

240. Pam, do you think anyone's going to notice I've worn this costume before

241. when I wasn't pregnant?

242. You know I guess nobody would believe it still fits.

243. Hey, guys, I'm an Oscar Liar Weiner

244. Oh, my God

245. Party's tight, E Fog is cool. Thanks

246. It's on medium Perfect

247. It really looks great You did a great job

248. Oh. So we don't have to have that talk?

249. We should still have that talk

250. Maybe you could come by my office at like 4:45?

251. Cool

252. Okay.

253. Okay, everybody,

254. be prepared to be scared

255. Okay

256. The Cinema of the Unsettling is a growing film movement.

257. The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot

258. of a squirrel with diarrhea

259. Okay. Ew

260. Is that my grandmother?

261. What's the story? - There is no story.

262. Yeah, seems like there isn't a narrative.

263. Maybe the filmmaker realized that even narrative is comforting

264. What the he is going on here?

265. Okay, I think we've seen enough

266. You can turn it off now - Yeah

267. Yeah, kill it. go ahead and turn it off.

268. Thank you - How'd you get in my car?

269. Where is this from? That is so upsetting

270. That was awful Robert, I apologize

271. I'm sorry. I got confused I heard that you

272. wanted to make the party more adult but I think I know what to do now

273. This game is called "Pecker Poker.'

274. It's the game of cards that gets you hard.

275. What we have here is a classic misunderstanding.

276. Why didn't you simply ask Andy to clarify?

277. Asking is a very easy thing to do

278. The two of you are obviously very close

279. Oh, I see. This no longer seems like my business

280. All I knew is that

281. you wanted to have a talk with me at the end of the day

282. and I got nervous, so

283. You were going to talk at the end of

284. I'm not here

285. Did you think I was going to fire you?

286. No, I wasn't

287. I'm sorry This must be really uncomfortable for you

288. I'm never uncomfortable

289. Okay

290. Erin, I think you know I've been dating someone

291. Sure

292. And it's getting a little more serious

293. She's never come by, so And she's never called here

294. Unless it's your mom

295. No, I didn't want her to call because I thought it would be weird, but

296. now it's weird that she's not calling

297. Two dates?

298. Three dates?

299. Thirty-one

300. Wow

301. I'm so happy for you guys.

302. Um. Let me know when you get to 40

303. I'll see you guys

304. I should go

305. I just don't get it, Pam

306. I mean, you're a rational person Thank you.

307. Jim doesn't let me wash his NFL jersey during the playoffs

308. How is this any less logical? Careful. Whoa

309. First of all, it's not like I think that's going to help the Eagles win

310. Really? No.

311. That is just a bunch of people participating in a collective thing.

312. And maybe the Eagles will hear about it and want to play better. It's not

313. Exactly. Thank you

314. Go! Get up there right now.

315. Got it Dwight

316. You want to attack, or let them come to us? Your call, B.

317. Unleash the hell storm. - Dwight

318. Nice Dwight

319. Got 'em. Go

320. Is she Asian? I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet

321. Maybe from the forest Forest?

322. Did Andy say his girlfriend's from the forest?

323. I don't know, Phyllis Maybe she's from the city

324. Looks terribly real doesn't it, Creed?

325. No Are you scared of snakes?

326. You don't live as long as I have

327. without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.

328. Yeah, I guess sometimes I have nightmares about being buried alive.

329. Honestly, Jim gives me the creeps

330. What am I up to?

331. Like a few years down the road, Cece says

332. "Mom, there's a ghost in my closet.'

333. Now you say one of two things One, "You're just having a bad dream."

334. Or two, "Let's go see what it wants."

335. I'm not going to freak her out, Jim

336. Okay I'm not going to lie to her either

337. Oh, come on When I was a boy,

338. there was an empty house just up the h from my family's

339. It was rumored a man committed suicide there

340. after being possessed by the devil

341. One day, a young woman, Lydia

342. moved into the house with her infant child.

343. That very night Lydia was awakened by a loud heinous hissing sound

344. She walked to the nursery and there in baby's crib was a snake

345. wrapped around baby's neck

346. squeezing tighter and tighter

347. Oh, my goodness The crib was full of dirt,

348. baby struggled to free itself from underneath

349. reaching and clawing gasping for air

350. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi,

351. lurching toward baby

352. For they were mummies No.

353. Amongst them was a man

354. Tall, slim. Jim

355. Almost instinctively she turned to her husband

356. "Wait," she thought

357. "I don't have a husband.'

358. For Lydia and her husband had had an argument one they couldn't get past

359. Each night they slept one inch farther apart until one night Lydia left

360. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds.

361. She had quit the book club the choir,

362. citing something about their high expectations

363. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse

364. Every time she wanted to act, and didn't,

365. another part of her face hardened until it was stone

366. And that fevered night she rushed to the nursery

367. and threw open the door "Baby, are you okay?"

368. Baby sat up slowly

369. turned to mother

370. and said

371. "I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine.'

372. Fear plays an interesting role in our lives.

373. How dare we let it motivate us?

374. How dare we let it into our decision making? Into our livelihoods.

375. Into our relationships.

376. It's funny, isn't it? We take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.

377. Toby. Hey, Bert. Want to see the dance?

378. Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry...

379. You're fired

380. What? You heard me.

381. Pack your things

382. What? You can't Gabe? Are you

383. I'm the CEO's son

384. Pack your things You're done.