1. Phew! Wow. It is raining
cats and dogs out there.
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2. Holy moly!
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3. Phyllis says the same 12
clichés every time it rains.
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4. So, I promised everyone that if
she says them all by noon today,
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5. I will send out
for hot chocolates.
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6. So how was the drive in?
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7. Nobody knows how to
drive in the rain.
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8. You don't say?
Yeah.
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9. You know the roads are actually the
slickest in the first half hour?
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10. - I think it's the oil, it comes to the surface.
- I agree.
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11. Ooh! The plants are gonna love this.
Yeah.
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12. I actually sleep
better when it's raining.
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13. Tell me about it.
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14. Time's almost up. How many are left?
Just one.
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15. "This weather makes me want to stay
at home, curled up with a good book."
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16. Phyllis, this rain, does it make
you want to be doing something?
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17. What do you mean?
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18. You know, like, aren't some things
just so nice and cozy in the rain?
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19. Hey, come on. Lots of things
are cozy in the rain.
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20. And that's noon.
Exactly!
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21. Sorry about that,
everybody.
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22. Hey, Phyllis, would you
like a hot chocolate?
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23. Ooh, I'd love one.
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24. I'm going out to get
two hot chocolates.
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25. I mean, normally the rain would
make me want to stay at home,
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26. curled up with
a good book,
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27. but everybody's being
so nice to me today.
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28. I'm really happy
being here.
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29. My girlfriend's back and
there's going to be trouble
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30. Hey, Ia, hey, Ia,
his girlfriend's back
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31. Hey, Ia, hey, Ia,
my girlfriend's back
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32. A month ago, I walked
out of this office
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33. positive I was
never coming back.
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34. I probably shouldn't
have emailed everyone
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35. telling them exactly
what I thought of them.
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36. Hey, Erin, thank you
for the nice email.
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37. Yeah. I don't get emotional
a lot, but that was...
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38. I'm just glad to know
I had an impact.
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39. I meant every word.
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40. In other news, Erin and
Andy are back together.
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41. Crazy story.
Yes.
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42. I drove all the way down to
Florida, she was not expecting it,
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43. totally swept her off her feet.
Right? Yeah.
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44. How long
was the drive?
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45. It's like a day and
a half each way.
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46. But when I got there, I went right
up to the house, and I was like...
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47. Day and a half? My lumbar
would be killing me.
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48. You should get this lumbar support
cushion thing my dad has.
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49. What's it called?
Um...
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50. Not Easy-Rest.
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51. That gas must've cost
a pretty penny, huh?
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52. Well,
he's got a Prius.
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53. How many times you fill the tank?
Three, four?
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54. What does gas
cost down there?
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55. Lumbar Buddy!
Lumbar Buddy.
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56. Oh, yeah,
Lumbar Buddy.
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57. Tell you what,
I'll email you the story.
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58. It's a real
tearjerker, though.
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59. So read with caution.
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60. Anyway, I know it's
the end of the day.
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61. We just wanted to
stop by and say hi.
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62. And then later on, we have
a reservation at Patsel's.
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63. Miss Lumbar!
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64. Hey, Kev.
Yeah.
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65. Nice sweater.
Thank you!
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66. Nellie was nice enough
to give it to me.
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67. She's sweet. I just
wish there was pockets.
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68. What happened
to Old Salty?
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69. Nellie let me
bobble-ize him.
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70. His name is now
Captain Mutato.
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71. I've written quite a bit
of X-Men fan fiction.
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72. Captain Mutato is
half-man, half-mermaid.
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73. So he can fight
crime as a man
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74. and make love
as a mermaid.
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75. Most of my writing
involves the latter.
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76. Okey-doke
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77. Yes?
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78. ANDY; Whoa!
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79. Well, you must be the famous Nellie
Bertram I've been hearing all about.
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80. I am the famous Andy Bernard you
have been hearing all about.
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81. Oh, yes. I just
want to thank you
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82. for jumping in and
minding the store
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83. during my temporary absence.
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84. You are most welcome.
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85. Anyway, now that I'm back, I would
love to have my office back,
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86. whenever you get a chance. No.
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87. Obviously we'll figure
out the logistics
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88. of moving all of this
stuff out of here.
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89. But, you know, the sooner the better.
Get back to normalcy.
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90. Mmm. No.
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91. Thank you.
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92. Okay.
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93. Wait. Uh...
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94. When I showed up here,
there was no manager.
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95. It's like when the Americans
showed up at the Moon.
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96. Nobody was there.
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97. So they planted
their flag,
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98. and it's their
moon now, isn't it?
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99. Nobody likes it, but it's
America's bloody moon.
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100. Just lay him in his crib
and then bicycle his legs.
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101. And then after
Jim quiets down,
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102. you do the same thing
with your baby.
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103. But if he keeps having
problems, just give me a call.
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104. Oh, my gosh,
thank you so much.
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105. But seriously, we don't
want to bother you
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106. any more than we already have.
That's it.
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107. It's no bother.
You guys are our friends.
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108. Ravi, our amazing
pediatrician,
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109. was asking us if
we knew any girls,
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110. and I said, "I know
the perfect girl."
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111. Yeah. Because Kelly is Indian and...
Oh, that's it!
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112. Race had nothing
to do with it.
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113. I just knew they'd
be good together.
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114. Why?
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115. Kelly has been
a handful in the past.
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116. But she's had
a bad influence.
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117. She's like an addict, and I
just had to get her clean.
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118. Get lower.
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119. Next, I'm going to set up
my sister with Darryl.
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120. Okay, we get it.
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121. What? I think they'd be good together.
Really?
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122. Um, also, little tip,
never shake the baby.
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123. Sorry, just to be clear, you're
saying do not shake the baby?
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124. Don't shake the baby.
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125. A lot of times parents get frustrated
because the baby's crying,
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126. and they shake the baby,
and you got to...
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127. You can't do that.
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128. Don't shake our baby.
Yeah.
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129. Okay, I'd never
heard that before.
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130. Oh, my God.
So, thank you.
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131. Yeah, I'm glad you said something.
Me, too.
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132. Kelly and I broke up, and she
can do whatever she wants.
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133. And her new boyfriend
seems awesome,
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134. if you're into
Indian people.
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135. I'm not.
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136. And that's
when I realized,
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137. if you're gonna put a
thermometer in one end,
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138. you'd better put a
lollipop in the other.
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139. Hey, I'm sorry. Is this a
workplace or a Starbucks?
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140. Because I was under the
impression it was a workplace.
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141. Maybe I'm
the crazy one.
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142. No. No, we're sorry.
Come on, let's go, Ravi.
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143. Also, since when do we have
guests here without clearance?
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144. I didn't okay this.
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145. Hey, um...
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146. What's the deal with this guy?
He's really into Kelly, huh?
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147. Yeah, they're
really great together.
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148. Makes me wonder
if I made a mistake.
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149. No, no, no. Come on. I think you
guys are both happier now, right?
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150. You're single. Plenty of
girls to date, right?
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151. Yeah.
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152. Maybe we weren't right
together, but it's weird,
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153. I'd rather she be alone
than with somebody.
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154. Is that love?
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155. That's about it, yeah.
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156. Well, Nellie picked up
the slack around here
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157. while you were trolling
the Florida beaches for tail
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158. like some college student
on spring break.
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159. I had to tell Erin
how I felt.
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160. Andy, I appreciate
your romantic quest,
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161. and in an age before the
telephone or Internet,
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162. or written language,
that would be compelling.
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163. But there are five, six
devices in this room alone
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164. that would have let you tell her
that without ever going to Florida.
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165. We live in
amazing times.
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166. Yeah, I know
I screwed up.
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167. But I always do
whatever you ask of me,
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168. and this will never
happen again.
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169. And if Erin decides she's made a
mistake and returns to Florida?
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170. At least she knows how I feel,
and I would not follow her.
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171. What if she were kidnapped by a
gang of Albanian human traffickers?
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172. Like in Taken?
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173. What?
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174. Yes, of course,
if she's taken.
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175. That's what I'm talking about.
By Albanians.
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176. I would stay
in this office.
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177. Wow, okay. I'll
remember you said that.
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178. Nellie,
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179. you've been terrific
in your interim capacity,
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180. but Andrew is
the rightful manager,
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181. so if you would just
give him his office.
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182. No.
I'm sorry?
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183. This is what I was
trying to tell you.
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184. I'm not accustomed to
people saying no to me.
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185. Well, Bobby,
get accustomed to it,
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186. because then it feels so good
when they finally say yes.
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187. You're both adults.
I'm sure you can
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188. figure this out
between yourselves.
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189. I never allow sexual desire to
influence a business decision.
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190. So, I find it best to
recuse myself temporarily
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191. until I've had
a chance to make love,
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192. and then go back and analyze
the situation rationally.
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193. Buffett operates
the same way.
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194. I want to order the zebra
rug for my office,
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195. but can you dye it
entirely black?
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196. No, I still want it
to be a zebra.
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197. Well, I'll know.
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198. Because they're
ridiculous creatures.
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199. They don't know
what they are.
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200. Phyllis says J. Duffy's
might be more our speed.
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201. And if we want even the option
of drawing on the placemats...
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202. I got a little bit
of an anger problem.
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203. Got me in some trouble
a couple years ago.
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204. When I see him
start to get mad,
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205. I just put my hand
on his arm like this.
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206. It reminds me to just
check out and relax.
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207. There's also a lullaby they used to
sing to me when I was growing up.
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208. The state of Pennsylvania
is watching over you
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209. No need for parents,
the governor will do
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210. It's really nice.
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211. The General Assembly's
like a mom and a dad
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212. had
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213. I got a call
about a trespasser.
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214. Yes. Right this way.
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215. Because they are idiots.
Big, stripy, horsey idiots.
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216. What you don't... Hey!
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217. Hank, please remove
Nellie from my office.
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218. Hank, thank God
you're here.
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219. This psychopath keeps
barging into my office.
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220. It's my office.
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221. Well, she's sitting
there like a manager.
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222. And you're standing
up here like me.
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223. But maybe it's a little
more complicated than that.
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224. I'm going to
count down from five,
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225. and if you're not
out of my office,
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226. I'm going to
dock your pay $100.
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227. Five, four...
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228. You can't dock my pay.
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229. I am your boss.
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230. Three, two, one.
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231. Congratulations,
you just lost $100.
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232. Really?
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233. Angela,
dock Andy's pay $100!
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234. On it!
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235. Great! Five, four,
three, two, one.
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236. Angela, please dock
Nellie's pay $100.
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237. Hmm?
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238. Is she responding? Hmm...
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239. Angela? Do you want to go again?
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240. Angela!
Let's go again.
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241. Five, four, three,
two, one.
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242. Oh, she's counting again.
Look out.
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243. - Angela, $200!
- Got it!
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244. Seriously, Angela?
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245. I know what,
let's go $10,000.
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246. Five, four... You're
just saying numbers.
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247. It's meaningless.
Three...
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248. It's literally like...
Two, one...
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249. I have to pee.
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250. There you go.
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251. Hey, we're going to
have a nice hot date.
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252. What are you guys
talking about?
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253. Charlie Rose.
I don't know who that is.
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254. Guys.
He has...
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255. Guys, come here.
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256. What are you...
Come on!
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257. Where are we going?
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258. Okay. Do you guys want...
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259. Andy, you should
not stand there.
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260. The warehouse guys
pee there all the time.
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261. Ew.
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262. Okay. Do you guys want to
be part of something huge?
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263. I'm already a member of the
largest club there is.
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264. Non-churchgoing
Christians.
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265. You remember in
the movie Rudy,
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266. when the player comes
into the coach's office
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267. and he throws his jersey
down, and he's like,
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268. "I'm not playing
without Rudy."
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269. And the coach is like,
"One guy. No big deal."
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270. But then every player
comes in, one by one,
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271. and they all throw their jerseys
down for Rudy. Remember that?
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272. Yeah, I remember that.
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273. So, how amazing
would it be
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274. if you guys all
did that for me
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275. with your own brand new
Dunder Mifflin jerseys?
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276. Hey, guys.
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277. Gross. Gross, gross.
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278. You don't need to go.
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279. I found these the other day
while I was journaling,
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280. and they reminded
me of you.
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281. Those are from our
weekend at the time-share.
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282. Yeah, the fractional
ownership property.
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283. We took this one right before
we got in that huge fight.
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284. God, I don't even remember
what that fight was about.
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285. You were being
really bratty about
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286. where we would
go out to dinner,
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287. but all I remember is how pretty you
looked taking those pictures of me.
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288. Anyway, if you want to
order prints of your own,
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289. I can send you the link.
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290. Yeah, that'd
be cool. Thanks.
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291. I'd like that.
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292. You were so annoyed that I
was taking that picture.
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293. Someone's into my abs.
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294. Sorry.
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295. You have doubles of this one, I
could probably just take one.
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296. I really want both.
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297. I am seeing a side of Ryan
that I have never seen
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298. since the last time
we were broken up.
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299. I am in love
with Kelly Kapoor.
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300. And I don't know how I'm going
to feel tomorrow or the next day
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301. or the day after that, but I do
know that right here, right now,
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302. all I can think about is spending
the rest of my life with her.
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303. Again, that could change.
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304. Hey. So, last night
was so not a big deal.
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305. Oh, yeah,
I was just tired.
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306. We both were.
Yeah.
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307. Plus I was definitely
not my normal sexy self.
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308. No. Are you kidding?
You were so sexy.
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309. Just the thought of you last
night, like, crazy turns me on.
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310. It just didn't last night.
But you were so dang doable.
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311. Even though we didn't do it.
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312. Well, it's not like we can't do it again when...
Whenever you're ready.
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313. Uh, yeah. We are sexing it up tonight.
I don't care what you say.
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314. No. It will be consensual.
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315. Whether you like it or not.
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316. Sounds good.
I'm gonna do you.
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317. Not if I do you first.
Oh.
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318. But really,
it's not a big deal.
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319. Yeah. I know it's
not a big deal.
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320. Oh, hey, instead of lunch, do
you feel like going shopping?
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321. Are you serious? Yes.
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322. That would be... I can't...
Can you believe this?
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323. Hey, can you believe it? Nope.
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324. Hmm.
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325. Oh, do you want that dress in
every size and every color?
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326. Yeah, it's free returns.
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327. I saw you were getting
along with Ryan again.
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328. He's so sweet. He pointed
to my latte and he said,
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329. "Kelly, that would be
the color of our children."
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330. God. Yeah, he's so great.
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331. Remember how it felt when
he cheated on you, though?
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332. Which time?
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333. I am not going to let Kelly
throw her life away on Ryan.
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334. And it has nothing to do with
access to my pediatrician.
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335. Why you would even ask,
or were going to ask.
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336. Because I feel like
that question was coming.
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337. But, you know, whatever.
Ask me anything.
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338. Yes? When you lost
the manager job?
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339. did it affect you
outside of the office?
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340. How?
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341. I don't know what
the technical term is.
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342. Penial softy-osus.
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343. Erin, I am so glad
that you trusted me.
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344. You came to the exact
right person for this.
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345. No, I have never once experienced
anything remotely like that.
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346. Ever, ever. Never!
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347. Okay?
Okay,
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348. Washington Monument!
Okay.
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349. Eiffel Tower!
Okay.
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350. Colossus at Rhodes!
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351. Hey! I hear you've been
badmouthing me to Kelly.
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352. All I did was remind her that
you used to treat her badly.
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353. Well, that's your opinion and it's her
opinion, but it's not my opinion.
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354. If you have something bad to say
to me, Pam, say it to my face.
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355. Fair enough. Um...
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356. I don't think you're
a very good person.
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357. And forgive me, but I feel like
I've said this to you before.
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358. I don't like you very much.
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359. Well, a lot of people would say that I'm
a better match for Kelly than Ravi is.
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360. Come on, Ryan, really?
Ravi's way better.
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361. For Kelly?
Yeah.
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362. Man, you're insane right now.
Ravi's the whole package.
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363. I've never met Ravi,
personally,
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364. but I'm going to
go ahead and say
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365. just having known you
a short while, Brian,
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366. that I prefer Ravi, and again,
I've never even met the guy.
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367. Kelly, look around.
Nobody believes in us.
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368. Nobody.
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369. Ryan, just stop making a scene
in front of all my friends.
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370. Kelly, I wrote you the
most amazing love poem.
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371. But I can't even read it.
My heart couldn't handle it.
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372. Oh, come on... Oh, no,
no, no, read it, please.
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373. I love amazing poetry.
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374. No, it would cause
me too much pain.
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375. Read through
the pain. Be strong.
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376. This poem would
crush you.
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377. God, Ryan, go away! She found
herself a beautiful boyfriend.
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378. Yeah, man, he's
absolutely gorgeous.
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379. Please leave her alone.
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380. You see, Kelly?
Our love scares them.
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381. It screws up their
cookie cutter world!
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382. Do you guys think
he's right, though?
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383. Do we live in a
cookie cutter's world?
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384. Absolutely, but it's
not the point. God.
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385. One of Toby's eyes is getting smaller.
So there's that.
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386. Gabe bragged about having an extra
ticket to the air show this weekend
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387. and Meredith said she was interested,
and then Gabe said immediately
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388. that his friend might
be taking the ticket,
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389. so I'll keep you
posted on that.
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390. Every day, I brief Nellie on
what's going on in the office.
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391. Most of it's irrelevant.
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392. But a good informer doesn't
judge what's worth passing on.
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393. Oh, and Andy lost
his masculinity,
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394. so congratulations
on that.
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395. What do you mean?
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396. Erin made it clear to me
that he was unable
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397. to perform sexually
last night.
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398. By contrast, I went to sleep
with an erection so large
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399. it was like I was
wearing no blanket at all.
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400. I knew you'd win, but you
just demolished him!
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401. I'm little bit
jealous, actually.
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402. Reduced him to a mere ant!
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403. I just wanted to take the
man's job, not his manhood.
Copy !req
404. Are we good?
Everybody got a jersey?
Copy !req
405. I still think it's weird
that we're just doing Rudy.
Copy !req
406. Like, not a spin on it,
we're just doing it.
Copy !req
407. What about The Dead Poets Society?
Much better movie.
Copy !req
408. What? Get your movie
rankings right, dude.
Copy !req
409. Why can't we just do
whatever movie we want?
Copy !req
410. 'Cause I was gonna
do a Spartacus.
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411. Oh, I wanna do
a Spartacus.
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412. I am Spartacus!
Copy !req
413. No, I am Spartacus!
Copy !req
414. Hey, guys, we're doing Rudy, okay?
So get ready.
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415. Okay, I would like to invite
everyone into the conference room.
Copy !req
416. Sure. But first,
there is something...
Copy !req
417. No, that's not important.
Conference room, now.
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418. You can't
call a meeting, so...
Copy !req
419. But I would like
to have a meeting
Copy !req
420. in the conference
room right now,
Copy !req
421. so come on, guys, let's get
in the conference room.
Copy !req
422. Thank you. Good!
Copy !req
423. Thank you for
coming to my meeting.
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424. Appreciate it.
Copy !req
425. Okay, if you would like to
take a seat, we can get started.
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426. Can't do it because I got
to run a meeting, so...
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427. Wanted to talk to all of
you guys about importance
Copy !req
428. and know that each and every one
of you is vitally important.
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429. Andrew, not everyone here is important.
And the word is "impotence."
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430. Which is important
in its own way,
Copy !req
431. so if you'd just like
to take a seat, Andy.
Copy !req
432. Take a man's job,
but leave him his balls.
Copy !req
433. Margaret Thatcher
said that, probably.
Copy !req
434. Don't know. Don't read.
Didn't see the movie.
Copy !req
435. So, Nellie wanted to have
a meeting on impotence.
Copy !req
436. I told her she would have to run
it, as impotence is a concept
Copy !req
437. as foreign to me
as baba ghanoush.
Copy !req
438. Something to do
with eggplant.
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439. That's all I know.
Copy !req
440. This meeting is not about any
one person in particular.
Copy !req
441. It is a human problem. It's
not just a human problem.
Copy !req
442. Flounders frequently
experience impotence,
Copy !req
443. especially when converting
from male to female
Copy !req
444. - and then back again to male.
- Really?
Copy !req
445. Nellie, does the "person" affected
by this want us to help her
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446. in any way in particular?
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447. Oh! Oh!
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448. It's not me. No, no!
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449. I've never had any
problem in that arena.
Copy !req
450. And I have been
with several older men.
Copy !req
451. How old?
How old?
Copy !req
452. Jinx, buy me some Coke.
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453. Dwight told me
about it earlier.
Copy !req
454. Dwight?
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455. You promised.
Copy !req
456. Dwight couldn't
get it up for Nellie?
Copy !req
457. No,no,no,no, no,
it's not me.
Copy !req
458. I'm going to prove it
right here and now.
Copy !req
459. What are you doing?
Stop that, Dwight!
Copy !req
460. Stop that, stop it!
Copy !req
461. Fine, it was me. I couldn't... I had
a problem with Erin last night.
Copy !req
462. Happy?
Copy !req
463. I had a lot on my mind last
night, and I didn't perform.
Copy !req
464. Okay, it happens
to plenty of guys.
Copy !req
465. It's usually not followed by a giant
workplace discussion and an interview.
Copy !req
466. Every guy in this room has been
touched by this affliction. Tuna?
Copy !req
467. D-Dog!
Copy !req
468. Um...
Copy !req
469. Um...
Copy !req
470. I have other issues.
Copy !req
471. I'm terrible at math,
overweight.
Copy !req
472. You're in great shape. A lot better
shape than I am, tell you what.
Copy !req
473. It seems Andy is the only
one with this problem.
Copy !req
474. Fascinating.
Fascinating.
Copy !req
475. I don't really see what the problem is.
Erin doesn't even like sex.
Copy !req
476. Remember? You said it feels like
getting tackled by a skeleton.
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477. Chumbo, come on, help me out. Any
problems with Little Chumbo?
Copy !req
478. Tip Top shape!
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479. Stanley.
No. Mmm-mmm.
Copy !req
480. Creed, you are
1,000 years old.
Copy !req
481. Haven't heard any complaints.
Wouldn't care if I did.
Copy !req
482. Okay, so...
Actually, Andy,
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483. I think maybe
we've experienced it.
Copy !req
484. What happened?
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485. A couple of times.
A couple of times?
Copy !req
486. Jim, maybe you could tell us
about one of those times.
Copy !req
487. - Yeah. Get it out there.
- Yeah, Jim.
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488. Um...
Copy !req
489. I don't...
Copy !req
490. Uh, yes, that time
that it was very late.
Copy !req
491. Uh...
Copy !req
492. We had had sex so many times
already, I was exhausted.
Copy !req
493. Okay, stop. I could barely see.
I was very drunk.
Copy !req
494. If it makes you
feel any better,
Copy !req
495. I never had an orgasm
until I was 42.
Copy !req
496. And then when I did,
it lasted until I was 44.
Copy !req
497. Forty-three was just...
Copy !req
498. I got nothing done.
Copy !req
499. I've read, and I don't know
anything about this personally,
Copy !req
500. but they say prostate
stimulation can help.
Copy !req
501. Ugh.
Copy !req
502. This is just a This American
Life I think I heard.
Copy !req
503. No, that's absolutely the case.
I know, right?
Copy !req
504. You know my rectal electro-ejaculator
is rated for bovine use only,
Copy !req
505. but I could let you rent it.
Copy !req
506. Andy, why don't you tell us about
the best erection of your life?
Copy !req
507. Or does anyone else have any remarkable
erections they'd like to share?
Copy !req
508. Wow. Oh! What are
we talking about?
Copy !req
509. Toby, doesn't HR
have some rules
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510. against talking about
this kind of stuff?
Copy !req
511. Erin, HR is a joke. I can't
do anything about anything.
Copy !req
512. The most important thing to remember
is do not stress about this.
Copy !req
513. Stress just makes it worse
Copy !req
514. and then you stress more,
and that's a vicious spiral.
Copy !req
515. I almost didn't
come in today.
Copy !req
516. Dad, don't think
of it as a demotion,
Copy !req
517. just think of it as a
promotion to a lower level.
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518. I don't think you have to
tell your friends anything.
Copy !req
519. It hasn't been
decided yet.
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520. Erin, on the phone memos, you're
writing the date American style.
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521. Month, day, year. I prefer
it day, month, year.
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522. Small, bigger, biggest!
Copy !req
523. Oh!
Copy !req
524. Sexual innuendo
not intentional.
Copy !req
525. Shut up. Shut up, liar!
Copy !req
526. "Sexual innuendo
not intentional!"
Copy !req
527. I am sick of
your dumb opinions
Copy !req
528. and if you don't like the way
that I take phone messages, here!
Copy !req
529. Take them yourself!
Copy !req
530. Our sex life is none
of anyone's business!
Copy !req
531. And Andy is the manager!
Not Nellie!
Copy !req
532. Stop protecting me! I'm a man!
I can protect myself!
Copy !req
533. This is misdirected anger
and I'm sorry!
Copy !req
534. I don't mean to
lash out at you!
Copy !req
535. There's a lot coming up
right now all at once!
Copy !req
536. Dad, go to hell!
I'm taller than you!
Copy !req
537. Okay, just calm down.
Copy !req
538. You are not the manager.
I earned that job!
Copy !req
539. I was personally chosen after
Robert was chosen and quit!
Copy !req
540. Andy, why don't you
just take a seat?
Copy !req
541. Why don't you
take a seat, idiot?
Copy !req
542. Why don't you take
all your stupid memos?
Copy !req
543. And your stupid pens
and your dumb caramels!
Copy !req
544. And your stupid face!
Copy !req
545. And your stupid office!
Copy !req
546. Ah! OW.
Copy !req
547. He does not
like that wall.
Copy !req
548. Maybe we'll get sent to
anger management together.
Copy !req
549. That would actually be cool. I'd love
for you to meet some of the guys.
Copy !req
550. Andy, Erin,
you can join us now.
Copy !req
551. What do you like
about Ryan?
Copy !req
552. Ryan keeps up with all
the latest technology trends.
Copy !req
553. And he's very honest with me
about when I put on weight.
Copy !req
554. And he has the soul
and the body of a poet.
Copy !req
555. Mmm.
Copy !req
556. Ravi's hotter.
Copy !req
557. I mean, I'm a straight man,
and looks are subjective,
Copy !req
558. but there's no
question about it.
Copy !req
559. Yeah, but I'm just worried
Copy !req
560. that I'm only
attracted to Ravi
Copy !req
561. because he looks exactly like this Calvin
Klein model that I'm attracted to.
Copy !req
562. Who cares? That's fine.
Copy !req
563. When I was your age, I had to
choose between a Ryan and a Ravi,
Copy !req
564. and I chose the Ryan.
Copy !req
565. And if I hadn't,
I wouldn't have my kids.
Copy !req
566. You'd still have kids.
Copy !req
567. Better kids. You've
got to go with Ravi.
Copy !req
568. Here's my advice. Figure
out what your heart wants.
Copy !req
569. And if it's not Ravi,
change it. To Ravi.
Copy !req
570. I don't understand why
this is a dilemma for you.
Copy !req
571. He has, like,
this je ne sais quoi.
Copy !req
572. He taught me that.
Copy !req
573. Ravi makes me
incredibly happy.
Copy !req
574. And Ryan puts me
through so much drama.
Copy !req
575. So I guess I just
have to decide
Copy !req
576. which of those is
more important to me.
Copy !req
577. Andy, we're going to go
with Nellie as manager
Copy !req
578. and put you back
on the sales team.
Copy !req
579. I promise you, in time, we'll
all laugh about this incident.
Copy !req
580. I already think it's kind of funny.
Copy !req
581. No.
Copy !req
582. Excuse me?
Copy !req
583. I'm saying no.
Copy !req
584. Well, you can't say no.
Copy !req
585. No.
Copy !req
586. Oh. Boo!
Copy !req
587. Holy crap!
Copy !req
588. Boo! Boo! Boo to you. Pam, you are toxic.
You are toxic.
Copy !req
589. Kelly, I have a few things to say
to you, but please don't interrupt.
Copy !req
590. I wasn't going to interrupt. Yeah,
but you do a lot, so just don't.
Copy !req
591. Thank you. I know that I
haven't always treated you
Copy !req
592. the way that you,
for whatever reason,
Copy !req
593. feel you deserve
to be treated.
Copy !req
594. But I want to marry you,
Kelly Kapoor.
Copy !req
595. Maybe not today, maybe not
tomorrow, but some day.
Copy !req
596. And probably!
Copy !req
597. Barf! Oh! You suck!
Copy !req
598. What is your problem?
Copy !req
599. Hey, can we turn this back
around quickly please?
Copy !req
600. Can we turn this around quickly?
This is very important to me.
Copy !req
601. Turn around.
Turn around.
Copy !req
602. Can we turn this thing
around, please? Thank you.
Copy !req
603. She don't want to turn around.
Thank you.
Copy !req
604. Kelly, I can't promise you that
we'll always stay together,
Copy !req
605. I can't promise you that I'll
never cheat on you. Nor should I.
Copy !req
606. Modern marriages aren't built that way.
Men aren't built that way.
Copy !req
607. There's a very interesting
article I can email to you.
Copy !req
608. But I can tell you this,
even if the odds are 50-50
Copy !req
609. that we'll break up
within the week,
Copy !req
610. I want to roll those dice.
Copy !req
611. I love you, Kelly.
Ryan.
Copy !req
612. Will you roll
those dice with me?
Copy !req
613. You mean so much to me.
Copy !req
614. But I love Ravi and I choose him.
No, you don't.
Copy !req
615. I do.
No, you don't.
Copy !req
616. I hope we can
still be friends.
Copy !req
617. Can I have a hug?
Copy !req
618. Oh. EW!
Copy !req
619. Well, it's good to see
Kelly is maturing.
Copy !req
620. Oh, God!
Copy !req
621. Look, Andrew, we can discuss
the specifics of the job.
Copy !req
622. No.
Copy !req
623. It's the apology.
I really have to insist.
Copy !req
624. No.
Stop saying "no."
Copy !req
625. No.
Copy !req
626. Andrew, if you say "no" one
more time, you're fired.
Copy !req
627. So, is there anything
else you want to say?
Copy !req
628. No.
Copy !req
629. I can't describe it. I just, for
the first time in a long time,
Copy !req
630. I actually feel in control.
Copy !req
631. I feel alive.
Copy !req
632. Here.
Copy !req
633. I got it.
Copy !req
634. But you hurt your hand.
I got it.
Copy !req
635. Right now?
Yes.
Copy !req
636. You're not the
least bit curious
Copy !req
637. to hear a poem straight
from Ryan's soul?
Copy !req
638. Not at all.
Can we go?
Copy !req
639. "Kapoor and Ka-desperate,
he watches."
Copy !req
640. Second line! "He is a
drifter out to sea."
Copy !req
641. "And when the Indian Ocean calms,
one speck of white remains
Copy !req
642. "in waters cold
and Kelly green."
Copy !req
643. It's just so dumb.
Copy !req
644. But when he describes himself as
a child lost on a life raft...
Copy !req
645. Ryan can never know.
Copy !req