1. Uh-oh.
Okay, okay, nobody panic.Copy !req
2. Listen up, listen up.Copy !req
3. Everyone, follow me
to the shelter.Copy !req
4. We've got enough food
for 14 days.Copy !req
5. After that, we have
a difficult conversation.Copy !req
6. My bad.Copy !req
7. Space heater and fan
were both on high,Copy !req
8. plugged into
the same outlet, so...Copy !req
9. Uh, it's saying the server
went down?Copy !req
10. Does anybody know that password?Copy !req
11. 'Cause otherwise,
we can't do any work.Copy !req
12. Uh... Try "password."Copy !req
13. Nope.Copy !req
14. Try zero, zero, zero,
zero, zero, zero.Copy !req
15. No.Copy !req
16. Okay, now try zero, zero,
zero, zero, zero, one.Copy !req
17. Okay, I'm not doing
every number.Copy !req
18. Wait, um, does anyone remember
when it was set up?Copy !req
19. Uh... It was, like,
eight years ago?Copy !req
20. Lord of the Rings stuff?Copy !req
21. I don't know, I'm just trying
to think of thingsCopy !req
22. that were happening
at the time.Copy !req
23. Um, everyone was getting
their driver's license.Copy !req
24. Why don't we just call the
I.T. guy who set it up?Copy !req
25. What's the name of the guy
in glasses, again?Copy !req
26. Okay, moving backwards,
our I.T. guys have been...Copy !req
27. Glasses, turban, ear hair,Copy !req
28. fatty 3, shorts, fatty 2,
lozenge,Copy !req
29. and fatso.Copy !req
30. I think lozenge was the one
who installed it.Copy !req
31. I got it.Copy !req
32. Try, um...Copy !req
33. You know what, it made me
laugh when I heard it,Copy !req
34. but Pam got really offended.Copy !req
35. Big boobs.Copy !req
36. Drama queen?Copy !req
37. Nosy?Copy !req
38. You're typing "big boobs"?Copy !req
39. I'm trying everything.Copy !req
40. Try "big boobs" with a "z."Copy !req
41. That's...Copy !req
42. The password. We're in.Copy !req
43. - All right.
- Wow.Copy !req
44. Yes.Copy !req
45. The important thing is...Copy !req
46. This kept us secure, people.Copy !req
47. - Morning.
- How's it going?Copy !req
48. - Hey, I'm WUPHF.
- I'm Facebook.Copy !req
49. What's up, Facebook?Copy !req
50. I sent you a Facebook message
yesterday,Copy !req
51. I still haven't heard
anything back.Copy !req
52. You should've sent me a WUPHF.Copy !req
53. A what?Copy !req
54. When you send a WUPHF,Copy !req
55. it goes to your home phone,
cell phone,Copy !req
56. email, Facebook, Twitter,
and home screen.Copy !req
57. All at the same time.Copy !req
58. WUPHF.Copy !req
59. WUPHF!Copy !req
60. Dot-com!Copy !req
61. Thanks, Erin.Copy !req
62. Sure.Copy !req
63. - Pam.
- Mm-hmm?Copy !req
64. I don't wanna be
a lousy snitch.Copy !req
65. Okay.Copy !req
66. Ryan has been using the color
printer for his business a lot,Copy !req
67. and as office administrator...Copy !req
68. Oh, it's okay.Copy !req
69. But it's not for...Copy !req
70. Let it go.Copy !req
71. Yes, I invested in WUPHF.Copy !req
72. It's actually
a really great idea,Copy !req
73. and I can't believe
it didn't exist before.Copy !req
74. And I know Ryan's kind of
a sketchy guy,Copy !req
75. but hey, I married Jim.Copy !req
76. I've done my part
for the nice guy.Copy !req
77. Now I want a bedroom set.Copy !req
78. I think an investors ski trip,
frankly,Copy !req
79. is the best idea.Copy !req
80. It will be a bonding experience.Copy !req
81. I love it.Copy !req
82. I was looking at a trail map,Copy !req
83. and I was thinking that we
should start on a bunny hill,Copy !req
84. because I've never
actually been skiing.Copy !req
85. And then work our way upCopy !req
86. to death drop.Copy !req
87. Great, so we got our first
offer to buy the company.Copy !req
88. You're kidding.Copy !req
89. We could sell,
but why think so small?Copy !req
90. We can just get a couple
more people involved,Copy !req
91. really do this thing our way.Copy !req
92. You and me, baby.Copy !req
93. New investors are key, though.Copy !req
94. That's actually
why I came in today.Copy !req
95. Don't you work here full time?Copy !req
96. Today I was thinking
I would sit downCopy !req
97. with a few of the people
who haven't invested yet.Copy !req
98. - Mm-hmm.
- Or we could do that together.Copy !req
99. If that sounds fun to you.Copy !req
100. That does sound fun to me.Copy !req
101. Awesome.Copy !req
102. Ah, this is good hay.Copy !req
103. Yeah.Copy !req
104. This is the good stuff.
Mattress quality.Copy !req
105. Every fall, growing up,Copy !req
106. my Uncle Eldred used to build us
a maze out of hay balesCopy !req
107. for us kids to play in.Copy !req
108. We called it hay place.Copy !req
109. Eldred called it hay world.Copy !req
110. Eventually, lawyers
were brought in.Copy !req
111. But that's all behind us.Copy !req
112. Hay place lives on.Copy !req
113. Watch it, watch it.Copy !req
114. Hello!
Welcome to hay place.Copy !req
115. A place for hay.Copy !req
116. Don't forget to make a broom.Copy !req
117. Oh, the petting zoo
closes at 2:00,Copy !req
118. and the goat roast
is at 3:00.Copy !req
119. Come on in, enjoy!Copy !req
120. Hey.Copy !req
121. I'm kind of in the mood
for a roll in the hay.Copy !req
122. Roll in the hay, five dollars.Copy !req
123. No, I meant...Copy !req
124. Oh, our contract.Copy !req
125. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
126. Yes, why don't we meet
at the usual spot.Copy !req
127. Uh...Copy !req
128. I've got a half an hour
during lunchCopy !req
129. in-between the historical
reenactmentCopy !req
130. of the Dunmore farm slaughters
and the onion boil.Copy !req
131. - Perfect.
- So, uh...Copy !req
132. Excuse me, get off of there.Copy !req
133. Those are show bales,
not play bales.Copy !req
134. All right, thank you, I will...Copy !req
135. I will send the contracts over
right away.Copy !req
136. All right.Copy !req
137. Whoo!Copy !req
138. I am on the first hot sale
streak of my life.Copy !req
139. I think it all comes from
feeding Cece,Copy !req
140. because no matter
how much she resists,Copy !req
141. I sell her those carrots.Copy !req
142. Let's be honest...Copy !req
143. If I can make mushed carrots
seem better than a boob...Copy !req
144. I can pretty much
sell anything.Copy !req
145. Commission comes out to...Copy !req
146. Dunh-duh-na-dah!Copy !req
147. Zero.Copy !req
148. Mm-kay, well,
it can't be zero, Kev.Copy !req
149. I entered the sale,Copy !req
150. and I hit enter,Copy !req
151. and I said, "dunh-duh-na-dah!"Copy !req
152. I'm pretty sure
I timed it right.Copy !req
153. You met your commission cap
last week.Copy !req
154. So from here until the end
of the fiscal year,Copy !req
155. your commission will be zero.Copy !req
156. What are you talking about?Copy !req
157. We... we have a commission cap?Copy !req
158. It's a new corporate policy.Copy !req
159. Dunh-duh-na-dah!Copy !req
160. Is this job really about
the money for you, Jim?Copy !req
161. I mean, isn't this
where you fell in love?Copy !req
162. A commission cap takes away
my incentive to sell.Copy !req
163. So you realize I now have
no reason to work, right?Copy !req
164. When you're dealing
with a large organization,Copy !req
165. sometimes you have to put up
with policies you don't like.Copy !req
166. I wish my gym didn't allow full
nudity in the locker room.Copy !req
167. Okay, seeing these old guys
walking around nakedCopy !req
168. feels almost passive-aggressive.Copy !req
169. But I deal with it.Copy !req
170. 'Cause it's policy.
See what I mean?Copy !req
171. Nope.Copy !req
172. - Nudity makes me uncomfortable.
- Okay.Copy !req
173. My gym allows it.Copy !req
174. I wish they didn't,
but it's policy.Copy !req
175. So I respect it, and I just...Copy !req
176. Keep a low... you know,
I look away.Copy !req
177. Think about your commission capCopy !req
178. as a naked old man
in a gym locker room.Copy !req
179. Excuse me, everyone.Copy !req
180. Sex!Copy !req
181. Now that I have
your attention...Copy !req
182. You don't have our attention.Copy !req
183. Money!Copy !req
184. I'm listening.Copy !req
185. You had me at "sex."Copy !req
186. Pervert.Copy !req
187. You have all of our attentionCopy !req
188. just by screaming anything.Copy !req
189. That's good to know.Copy !req
190. What do you want
to say, Michael?Copy !req
191. WUPHF!Copy !req
192. All right,
I've warmed them up for you.Copy !req
193. You have the floor, Ryan.Copy !req
194. - How's everybody doing?
- Whoo!Copy !req
195. Good!Copy !req
196. Now, a lot of you have already
staked outCopy !req
197. your corner of the WUPHF empire.Copy !req
198. Raise your hand
if I'm describing you.Copy !req
199. Great.Copy !req
200. Yes, I have a dream.Copy !req
201. And it's not some M.L.K. Dream
for equality.Copy !req
202. I want to own
a decommissioned lighthouse.Copy !req
203. And I want to live at the top.Copy !req
204. And nobody knows I live there.Copy !req
205. And there's a button
that I can press,Copy !req
206. and it'll launch that lighthouse
into space.Copy !req
207. For my current investors,Copy !req
208. things are going great.Copy !req
209. We already have a buyer.Copy !req
210. Really? Who?Copy !req
211. Washington university.Copy !req
212. I don't even want
to think about sellingCopy !req
213. until our numbers
get into the billions.Copy !req
214. At least.Copy !req
215. So I've decided to open up
a second round of investmentCopy !req
216. to friends and family.Copy !req
217. Oh, God. Hold on to
your wallets, ladies.Copy !req
218. Did you ever think of WUPHFCopy !req
219. as an emergency notification
system,Copy !req
220. like, for college campuses
with shooters or gas leaks?Copy !req
221. No, no... Oscar, it's not...Copy !req
222. It's not a digital rape whistle.Copy !req
223. - WUPHF is about fun.
- That's right.Copy !req
224. Fun, communication, connection.Copy !req
225. What's your money situation?Copy !req
226. - Well, it's tight,
as with any start-up.Copy !req
227. Sure, how long can you sustain
this without a cash infusion?Copy !req
228. We have nine solid days.Copy !req
229. I love these questions.
Keep 'em coming.Copy !req
230. I'm sorry,
nine days until what?Copy !req
231. Bankruptcy?Copy !req
232. Wait, Ryan, so this could be
over by the weekend?Copy !req
233. How long do you think
a week is?Copy !req
234. No, not this weekend;
Next weekend.Copy !req
235. We were gonna go
on the investors ski trip.Copy !req
236. I bought poles.Copy !req
237. Well, since I have
no incentive to sell,Copy !req
238. I've cleaned my car,
organized my desk,Copy !req
239. and taken a multivitamin.Copy !req
240. So...Copy !req
241. What now?Copy !req
242. Pam.Copy !req
243. Okay, now I've tried everything.Copy !req
244. Did you prank Dwight?Copy !req
245. - No.
- Well, you like that.Copy !req
246. Yeah, it's not as fun
if I'm not blowing off work.Copy !req
247. I love you, but I'm kinda busy,Copy !req
248. so I need you to figure this one
out on your own.Copy !req
249. Oscar said WUPHF only hasCopy !req
250. enough money for nine days.Copy !req
251. Check this out.Copy !req
252. - All that color.
- Look at that.Copy !req
253. Triple your investment
by January.Copy !req
254. Anyone can just throw numbers
up on a chart.Copy !req
255. What are you doing
to make it happen?Copy !req
256. Well, earlier today,
I was emailingCopy !req
257. someone by the name of
John legend.Copy !req
258. - There you go.
- You have his email?Copy !req
259. A lot of these guys
are just Mac.Com,Copy !req
260. @ their website whatever.Copy !req
261. We get that guy wuphfing,Copy !req
262. it's all over.Copy !req
263. I want my money back.Copy !req
264. Do not talk like that, Stanley.Copy !req
265. Ryan, just tell us your plan.Copy !req
266. Okay, all right.Copy !req
267. I know what you wanna see.Copy !req
268. I'll be right back.Copy !req
269. Hey, kids, was that fun?Copy !req
270. Yeah!Copy !req
271. All right.Copy !req
272. I wanna go on it again.Copy !req
273. Oh, I bet you do.Copy !req
274. You know what?Copy !req
275. When I was a little kid,Copy !req
276. they couldn't get me
off the hayride.Copy !req
277. But it's gonna cost you
three more bucks.Copy !req
278. Wow!
This brings back memories.Copy !req
279. Hay stacking, hay throwing...Copy !req
280. And at the end of it all,Copy !req
281. one lucky boy would be crowned
hay king.Copy !req
282. I always wanted to be hay king.Copy !req
283. The world shines on mose.Copy !req
284. Where have you been?
I've been waiting.Copy !req
285. Uh, can we move this
to the end of the day?Copy !req
286. No, I... I think you should
make time for it.Copy !req
287. I found the needle
in the haystack!Copy !req
288. Hey, congratulations.
Do you know what your prize is?Copy !req
289. I don't know.Copy !req
290. Nothing. Life lesson?
Some tasks are not worth doing.Copy !req
291. Dwight?Copy !req
292. WUPHF t-shirts.Copy !req
293. Who wants one?Copy !req
294. Just imagine that you're
at spring break Daytona beach.Copy !req
295. - Here we go.
- Okay?Copy !req
296. Everyone's like, "hey dude,Copy !req
297. what's up with all the hotties
in the WUPHF shirts?"Copy !req
298. Or, uh, "hey, what's up
with that helicopter?"Copy !req
299. "It's Ryan from WUPHF!"Copy !req
300. - "It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!"
- "Yo, Ryan from WUPHF!"Copy !req
301. - "He's up there."
- "What's he dropping?"Copy !req
302. "Wow, what's falling on
us, man?"Copy !req
303. WUPHF condoms!Copy !req
304. 50,000 condoms out of the sky.Copy !req
305. Look at that!
He threw 'em on the ground!Copy !req
306. Look, this is
a marketing campaign.Copy !req
307. You got nine days.Copy !req
308. Let's say you do get the money.Copy !req
309. What are you going
to do with it?Copy !req
310. The first lesson of Silicon
Valley, actually,Copy !req
311. is that you only think
about the user, the experience.Copy !req
312. You actually don't think
about the money.Copy !req
313. Ever.Copy !req
314. That sounds weird.Copy !req
315. No, it's not weird, Andy,
and you know what else?Copy !req
316. We have an offer
from Washington university.Copy !req
317. So monetize that.Copy !req
318. Are you guys meeting
about WUPHF?Copy !req
319. You know that that
was my idea, right?Copy !req
320. I said to Ryan,
"I try to call you,Copy !req
321. "and you don't have your phone.Copy !req
322. "I try to I.M. you,
and you're not online.Copy !req
323. "I wish there was a way that I
could do everything all at once,Copy !req
324. "and I could just be like this
little dog going,Copy !req
325. 'ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!'"Copy !req
326. - Baby, baby, baby...
- I think I'm gonna stay here.Copy !req
327. - No, no, no, no, no.
- I do, I do.Copy !req
328. This isn't right.Copy !req
329. I help you with your things,
and you help me with my things.Copy !req
330. But I... it's not right.Copy !req
331. I got this, it's okay,Copy !req
332. don't worry about this.Copy !req
333. Is it any particular branch
of Washington university?Copy !req
334. The Washington University
Public Health Fund.Copy !req
335. W.U.P.H.F.Copy !req
336. Oh, God.Copy !req
337. They only want it
for the initials.Copy !req
338. The domain name.
Yeah, they do.Copy !req
339. I move we sell.Copy !req
340. - What?
- Yeah, sell.Copy !req
341. - Sell.
- Get us out of this.Copy !req
342. Have some faith in this idea.Copy !req
343. If everybody wants to sell,
we sell, right?Copy !req
344. I won't sell.Copy !req
345. And you know what?Copy !req
346. Ryan and I have
the majority of shares.Copy !req
347. - Isn't that right?
- Yes.Copy !req
348. You alone do, actually.Copy !req
349. I... Yes.Copy !req
350. We're not selling.Copy !req
351. I will not sell.Copy !req
352. Awesome.Copy !req
353. Do you mind if we
share this bale?Copy !req
354. Sure.Copy !req
355. There's no charge
to s on the hay, is there?Copy !req
356. Probably.Copy !req
357. I mean, wouldn't you thinkCopy !req
358. the ten dollars
to build your own broomCopy !req
359. would include the hay
and not just the instructions?Copy !req
360. - Mm-hmm.
- I mean, I'm starting to thinkCopy !req
361. this guy is just trying to make
money off the holiday.Copy !req
362. Yeah, instead of hay place
it should be pay place.Copy !req
363. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
364. No, no, no, I wasn't...Copy !req
365. I was just laughing
at your joke.Copy !req
366. Oh.Copy !req
367. - Pay place.
- Mm.Copy !req
368. Yeah, so we can celebrate
Thanksgiving-me-your-money day.Copy !req
369. That's humorous.Copy !req
370. Thank you.Copy !req
371. You guys know how to get out?Copy !req
372. Hi, Michael.Copy !req
373. Can't talk, saving the planet.Copy !req
374. Oh, we don't recycle.Copy !req
375. We don't?Copy !req
376. Well, why have I been
separating the trashCopy !req
377. into whites and colors?Copy !req
378. I'm sure no one
asked you to do that.Copy !req
379. Eight years.Copy !req
380. Listen, I know
you really like Ryan...Copy !req
381. No, I won't even consider it.Copy !req
382. Michael, I...Copy !req
383. I hate to say this, but...Copy !req
384. You know this special bondCopy !req
385. that you've always felt
with Ryan,Copy !req
386. where, like, you're best friendsCopy !req
387. or you're his mentor
or something?Copy !req
388. Right, yes, yeah.
Best friend/mentor.Copy !req
389. Michael, I think that
that feeling only goes one way.Copy !req
390. And I think
that Ryan knows that,Copy !req
391. and he's taking advantage
of you.Copy !req
392. I think you are wrong.Copy !req
393. And there are a lot
of other people in this officeCopy !req
394. who have money at stake.Copy !req
395. Other people you care about.Copy !req
396. You may be right.Copy !req
397. I may be crazy.Copy !req
398. Don't.Copy !req
399. I'm just saying that I think
I agree with your point.Copy !req
400. Yeah, but in a jokey way where
you're gonna start singing.Copy !req
401. I thought it might make me
feel better.Copy !req
402. Okay.Copy !req
403. Go ahead.Copy !req
404. No.Copy !req
405. Ooh, nice, wasting time,
here we go.Copy !req
406. Hey, back off.
It's solitaire.Copy !req
407. Hey, kid...Copy !req
408. Hear you're looking for work.Copy !req
409. Talk to me.Copy !req
410. How far can you reachCopy !req
411. those lovely long ms of yours?Copy !req
412. Eh, put 'em down.Copy !req
413. How longCopy !req
414. can you hold that pretty little
breath of yours?Copy !req
415. Good.Copy !req
416. Hey, Jim?Copy !req
417. Are you distracting
these people?Copy !req
418. We're working.Copy !req
419. Can you at least
try to look busy?Copy !req
420. The moment Darla put
the cupcake in her mouth,Copy !req
421. her daddy pulled her aside
and said,Copy !req
422. "you're too fat.Copy !req
423. No one's gonna like you
if you're too fat."Copy !req
424. The next time I saw David Gaffen
was at the Buffalo Club.Copy !req
425. Love you, you gay bastard,"
I saidCopy !req
426. "you gay bastard," I s...Copy !req
427. "gay ba..."Copy !req
428. "gay b..."Copy !req
429. Michael, how's it going, bro?Copy !req
430. Good, good, bro.Copy !req
431. Hey, thanks so much for having
my back out there.Copy !req
432. Always have your back.Copy !req
433. So any ideas on how we can go
over this nine-day hump here?Copy !req
434. I have nothing but ideasCopy !req
435. the thing is,
they all require money.Copy !req
436. Nine days, though.
That's, like...Copy !req
437. Look, I know I've tapped you
so hard.Copy !req
438. Yes, you have tapped this.
Hard.Copy !req
439. Oh, you are funny, Michael.Copy !req
440. You... people... people don't give
you enough credit.Copy !req
441. Maybe I could take a second
mortgage on my condo.Copy !req
442. Well, a lot of people
are doing at.Copy !req
443. And there don't seem to be
any consequences.Copy !req
444. And they say the rates
have never been lower.Copy !req
445. So you would think
that's a good idea for me to do?Copy !req
446. Think about this:Copy !req
447. You and me on a private planeCopy !req
448. - flown by our private pilot...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
449. Eating our private meal cooked
by our private chef.Copy !req
450. Yeah, well, we never even have
dinner now, so...Copy !req
451. We totally should.Copy !req
452. Tonight?Copy !req
453. I gotta work on this.Copy !req
454. Oh, right.
What am I saying?Copy !req
455. Rain check.Copy !req
456. Yeah.Copy !req
457. And now, by show of applause,Copy !req
458. we will crown this year's
hay king.Copy !req
459. All in favor of purebred.Copy !req
460. Put your hands together for...Copy !req
461. Mixed bread.Copy !req
462. And let's hear it for...Copy !req
463. Purebred.Copy !req
464. Mm.Copy !req
465. It would appear weave
a three-way tie.Copy !req
466. I have no choice but to pick
the hay king myself.Copy !req
467. I pick...Copy !req
468. Me!Copy !req
469. I am your hay king!Copy !req
470. All hail your hay king!Copy !req
471. D I truck 300 les of hayCopy !req
472. to a parking I to rectify
some childhood disappointment?Copy !req
473. Yes.Copy !req
474. So if I were
to call Dunder MifflinCopy !req
475. and ask for miss Angela Martin,Copy !req
476. would I get through to you?Copy !req
477. You would.Copy !req
478. And if I were to call your house
and ask for your wife,Copy !req
479. would I get through to you?Copy !req
480. My wife passed away
a few years ago.Copy !req
481. How tragic.Copy !req
482. Very sorry to hear that.Copy !req
483. Thank you.Copy !req
484. Help!Copy !req
485. Hello?Copy !req
486. Oh!
Help!Copy !req
487. Consider it a WUPHF in person.Copy !req
488. You're doing the wrong thing.Copy !req
489. You're gonna lose
Michael's investment,Copy !req
490. you're gonna lose ours.Copy !req
491. You got this crazy opportunity
to get our money back.Copy !req
492. Tell Mike to sell.Copy !req
493. If you tell Michael to sell,
he'll sell.Copy !req
494. I'm betting on myself.Copy !req
495. It's a bad bet.Copy !req
496. Hello.Copy !req
497. Hey.
It's an ambush here.Copy !req
498. Nobody here believes
in this company.Copy !req
499. Will you tell them
they're wrong?Copy !req
500. It's not that we don't believe
in the company.Copy !req
501. We don't believe in you.Copy !req
502. All those in favor of selling,
say aye.Copy !req
503. - Aye.
- Aye.Copy !req
504. - Aye.
- Aye.Copy !req
505. Aye.Copy !req
506. Do not agree to sell,
which is to say nay.Copy !req
507. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
508. What happened to you
in high school?Copy !req
509. Michael, are you that blind?Copy !req
510. I'm not blind!Copy !req
511. I know exactly who he is.Copy !req
512. He is selfish and lazy
and image-obsessed,Copy !req
513. and he is a bad friend.Copy !req
514. And he's also clever.Copy !req
515. And he shoots incredibly high.Copy !req
516. And he may just make it.Copy !req
517. But you know what,
even if he doesn't,Copy !req
518. I would rather go broke
betting on my peopleCopy !req
519. than get rich all by myselfCopy !req
520. on some island like a castaway.Copy !req
521. And there is no middle ground.Copy !req
522. You're gonna lose
all of our money.Copy !req
523. Only if he fails.Copy !req
524. And you know what?Copy !req
525. Ryan, I believe in you.Copy !req
526. Just like I believe
in all of you.Copy !req
527. You have nine days to save
everybody's money.Copy !req
528. Oh...Copy !req
529. That's a lot of pressure.Copy !req
530. I... I'm gonna need
some more time.Copy !req
531. You can't have it.Copy !req
532. Okay.Copy !req
533. I won't let you down.Copy !req
534. Angela?Copy !req
535. Angela!Copy !req
536. The world sends people
your way...Copy !req
537. Ryan came to me
through a temp agency.Copy !req
538. Andy was transferred here.Copy !req
539. No idea where creed came from.Copy !req
540. The point isCopy !req
541. you just have to play with
the cards that you're dealt.Copy !req
542. Jim, that guy is an ace.Copy !req
543. Dwight is my king up my sleeve.Copy !req
544. Phyllis is my old maid.Copy !req
545. Oscar is my queen.Copy !req
546. That's easy.Copy !req
547. Gimme a hard one.Copy !req
548. That's what Oscar said.Copy !req
549. Toby is the instruction card
you throw away.Copy !req
550. Pam's a solid seven.Copy !req
551. And yeah, you know what?Copy !req
552. Ryan is probably, like, a two.Copy !req
553. But sometimes twos can be wild.Copy !req
554. So watch out.Copy !req
555. And I am obviously the joker.Copy !req
556. So...Copy !req
557. That's, uh...Copy !req
558. WUPHF from Ryan Howard.Copy !req
559. Decided to sell company.Copy !req
560. Thanks, bro.
Hell of a ride.Copy !req
561. Thank God.Copy !req
562. Gabe Lewis.Copy !req
563. Now, listen here, Gabe,
you're too fat.Copy !req
564. No one's gonna like you
if you're too fat.Copy !req
565. I made some changes to my book.Copy !req
566. - See if you like them.
- What?Copy !req
567. Now I am breaking.
I hate being interrupted.Copy !req
568. Shut up and listen,
gay bastard.Copy !req
569. Chapter 1: I was born...Copy !req
570. Not into luxury or poverty,
but into diversity.Copy !req
571. For that I thank the Lord.
My father was a man.Copy !req
572. That is all we need to know.Copy !req
573. After I learned to ride the bike,
there was no stopping.Copy !req
574. I would ride up Magnolia St.
and down Azalea Lane.Copy !req
575. Which would later become my favorite...Copy !req
576. Good night, Gabe.
I just wanted to say thanks again.Copy !req
577. I really think I'm getting
used to my debt.Copy !req
578. I have always been a fighter...Copy !req
579. Satan has obliged me
with plenty of battles.Copy !req
580. But first being a hard...Copy !req