The Office 7x6

1. What about this one? It's kind of badass, right?

2. It just seems kind of crazy

3. in a way I might need right now.

4. I don't know.

5. Oh! That's... not... Yours.

6. Stanley just drank O.J. Out of my mug

7. and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee.

8. So the question has to be asked,

9. is there no limit to what he won't notice?

10. Going to the kitchen, Stanley. You need anything?

11. I'll take a Milano.

12. Okay. Oh.

13. Just sign this for me before I go.

14. Thank you.

15. Maybe Stanley's completely checked out of life.

16. Maybe we weren't meant to know the answers.

17. And who am I to play God?

18. I'm just a guy with time on his hands.

19. What's a seven-letter word for purse?

20. Satchel.

21. No, starts with an "h."

22. Handbag.

23. Hmm, thank you.

24. Shh. Shh-shh.

25. All right, everybody. Take a seat.

26. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter

27. is up 8,000% in sales.

28. Hold up. That clock is slow.

29. It is 5:00.

30. I will see you all tomorrow.

31. Bye, Stanley. Love you.

32. So long, Stanley.

33. Good night, everybody.

34. So what kind of statement

35. are you making with that costume, Kevin?

36. Well, the statement that I'm making, Oscar,

37. is I kind of look like Michael Moore.

38. Dunder Mifflin, the is Erin.

39. Happy Halloween.

40. How can I haunt you today?

41. A lot of people are really

42. getting into Halloween this year.

43. Six seconds, MacGruber!

44. Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned...

45. Two seconds, MacGruber!

46. Including a costume contest and bobbing for apples

47. and a Ouija board.

48. Oh, boom! Ohh, explosion!

49. MacGruber!

50. People are really into the costume contest this year.

51. Might have something to do with the prize.

52. Maybe you've heard of it.

53. The 2011 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre coupon book,

54. worth over $15,000 in savings.

55. Stop.

56. Too late.

57. If I was the real Scranton Strangler,

58. you'd be so strangled by now.

59. And if you're out there, Strangler,

60. you will get caught.

61. By me.

62. Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us

63. that he's not the Scranton Strangler.

64. To my chickens, I'm the Scranton Strangler.

65. Oh-ho. That's very funny.

66. Looks like someone decided to dress up

67. as ol' Dwight Schrute's mom.

68. - What? - You're only one/3 as beautiful

69. and about half her height.

70. I am supposed to be Olive Oyl.

71. And it makes more sense when I'm standing next to Popeye,

72. but Jim doesn't want to put his costume on.

73. I am Popeye...

74. After I retired from the navy

75. and accepted a really cushy desk assignment in corporate America.

76. I've never really been a costume guy.

77. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something

78. I was too old for, heh.

79. And then, this morning,

80. Pam hands me this little number.

81. No.

82. I couldn't do it.

83. What can I tell you?

84. I am what I am.

85. Oof, even that just feels wrong.

86. In case you can't read my-my-my poker face...

87. We will be reviewing our sales policies.

88. I have ten seconds to explain them

89. or this whole place blows up.

90. MacGruber!

91. Lame.

92. Why don't witches wear panties?

93. Oh, here we go.

94. Because they need to grip the broom.

95. Oh! Who likes to water-ski on Lake Erie?

96. No, what—

97. Where does Dracula like to water ski?

98. Lake Erie.

99. PODIO—point of delivery increased opportunity.

100. PODIO.

101. Gotta say, the level of commitment

102. to the costumes is outstanding.

103. Costumes?

104. We just have a really high-profile staff.

105. Elaine Kagan is the best saleswoman

106. in the northeast corridor.

107. Yeah, I've sold to mayor.

108. - So aware. - All right.

109. And then we're gonna machete through that,

110. make it a lean, mean...

111. You handled that really well.

112. What?

113. It's never easy to work with your lady's old flames, OK?

114. They may be an old flame, but you can still get burned.

115. When our warehouse workers make deliveries,

116. they're gonna be encouraged to offer clients

117. extra products.

118. And then they will split those commissions with sales.

119. Wait, so drivers are gonna be able to sell paper

120. - on the road? - That is correct.

121. Has anyone started calling you Gabe-wad yet?

122. Not here, no.

123. Gabe-wad.

124. Okay, guys, fun is fun, but...

125. Blacula.

126. Dracula.

127. Oh, so...

128. I almost forgot.

129. You'll find this hilarious.

130. Apparently, corporate is going to have

131. drivers sell paper on their routes now.

132. That's like exactly sort of the idea that you had.

133. Yes, I do remember saying something like that to you.

134. Yeah.

135. I'm sorry.

136. I blew this.

137. You should have gotten credit for that, man.

138. I'm just glad we're gonna try it out.

139. Really? We're good?

140. We're cool.

141. Okay.

142. - Okay. - What's that in your shirt?

143. Oh, that's a ream of paper.

144. Thought you might hit me.

145. Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy

146. in the world.

147. And you know what I'd like?

148. I would like to have all the racists

149. brought together

150. and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch.

151. Just to see what they're missing.

152. It's a great stick, right?

153. It's really good. Classic.

154. I feel like you might win the whole thing with that.

155. Thanks.

156. Yeah, I mean, most people stop thinking cons are cool

157. at age eight, but yeah, great costume.

158. Yeah.

159. Everyone realizes this coupon book

160. is not actually worth $15,000, right?

161. You'd have to spend $200,000 on crap you don't even need

162. to get $15,000 worth of benefits.

163. Heh, I'm not the only one who sees this, right?

164. No.

165. - No, it— - No.

166. I get that. I get that.

167. My neighbor had one of these books.

168. Every day, they were eating out or getting massages.

169. You should've seen their driveway.

170. It's as smooth as an aircraft carrier.

171. Um, excuse me, everyone.

172. I want to invite you all to the Halloween party

173. I'm having at my bar.

174. You own a bar?

175. Public School at exit 11?

176. That's a great... name.

177. You're hilarious.

178. A-plus.

179. So... you're all on the list.

180. Hey, man, can I get a plus-five?

181. It's all guys.

182. Hey, what's the crowd like, Danny?

183. Our age?

184. Okay.

185. I don't think that she would leave Jim

186. for Danny.

187. I don't know. They're both handsome.

188. Pam is gonna choose whoever has a scent

189. most like that of her father.

190. Does anyone remember what her dad smelled like?

191. - I think he— - Hey, hey, gang, quiet.

192. Here she comes.

193. Did you hear about that Danny guy?

194. Heard he used to date Pam.

195. So, four years ago,

196. when I was in Stamford, Connecticut

197. - and dating someone else... - Mm-hmm.

198. Pam went on two dates with Danny.

199. Which was obviously

200. the greatest love story ever told,

201. given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.

202. We were basically Romeo and Juliet.

203. - That's right. - Except where Juliet

204. doesn't have that great a time,

205. and Romeo doesn't call back after two dates.

206. Yikes.

207. But I've learned to love again.

208. - He's a cartoon sailor. - No.

209. And he looks so handsome in his uniform.

210. - Please. - No, I'm not gonna—no.

211. - Oh, because you're so cool. - Not so cool.

212. - So cool. - Okay. All right.

213. Well...

214. Tuna.

215. Tuna.

216. If you want us to skip this party...

217. I don't care.

218. I am never gonna forget

219. what Danny did to Pam.

220. I forget nothing.

221. I'm like an elephant in that way.

222. You know what eleph— Buh—this—

223. This sucks for Jim, right?

224. But it also sucks for us,

225. because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties.

226. Yeah, and, like, everyone's gonna be there.

227. Stanley, Phyllis, Angela,

228. Darryl, Creed's a maybe.

229. Creed's going?

230. Madge from the warehouse

231. just made her first sale.

232. Madge.

233. We should have been doing this a long time ago.

234. What do you get for a person

235. whose career you have just sabotaged?

236. Shirt.

237. $200 for a shirt? God.

238. Erin, would you please do me a solid...

239. And get Darryl Philbin on the speakerphone.

240. Hello.

241. Hi, Darryl. Come out here, please.

242. I'm good.

243. You need to stop being so shy.

244. Come out here and embrace who you really are,

245. superstar.

246. This is embarrassing, Michael.

247. Yeah, I bet it is.

248. If you're gonna do your job well here...

249. You gotta get used to being embarrassed.

250. Let me put my shoes on.

251. Um, hit the speakerphone button.

252. The speakerphone button?

253. Same button as you hit before.

254. Or sit on it.

255. This whole delivery/sales idea,

256. you know whose that was?

257. That was Darryl Philbin's.

258. He thought of that way before the corporate fat suits.

259. So what happened?

260. I got in the way. I said no.

261. And it just stopped.

262. But then, corporate comes up with this idea.

263. But you know what?

264. They need to know that it was yours.

265. And I don't care if I take a bullet,

266. we're going to call them.

267. We're going to put them on speakerphone right now.

268. Oh.

269. And we are going to straighten this out.

270. Screw corporate.

271. They probably stole the idea anyway.

272. - Mm-hmm. - Uh...

273. Corporate stole nothing.

274. Okay? Darryl brought this idea to me,

275. and then I told them, giving Darryl full credit.

276. So no need to "screw corporate."

277. Everyone, let's give Darryl a round of applause

278. as planned.

279. I'm a little peeved at Darryl right now.

280. He went to Gabe behind your back.

281. No, he didn't go behind my back,

282. he went over my head.

283. He went over your head to go behind your back.

284. What is taking someone from behind?

285. No, shh, Michael, listen. This cannot stand.

286. We can't have workers going straight to corporate.

287. It makes your job superfluous.

288. It was a good idea, though.

289. Yeah, here's another good idea.

290. Corporate chain of command.

291. We need to strangle Darryl's idea.

292. Come on, they're drivers, not salesmen.

293. This is a terrible idea.

294. Enough!

295. This is what we're doing. We're doing it.

296. You know what I think? I think corporate's trying

297. to get rid of the salesmen altogether.

298. Sounds like corporate to me.

299. Unless the sales staff rises up,

300. we are doing this.

301. And you know what?

302. I don't care what you workers think

303. because you don't make the decisions—corporate does.

304. If you can use theater

305. to teach people about the dangers of rent

306. in the gay community, then you can use theater

307. to teach this office that this idea has got to go.

308. In our little play, I will be portraying

309. the likeable working man who hates the idea.

310. - And I'ma be— - And I will be playing the man.

311. I will be playing the guy who thinks the idea's great...

312. - Boss man. - Because all I care about

313. - is the almighty dollar. - Boo!

314. I am the villain.

315. Hey, man, I'm just trying to make a living here.

316. I'm just trying to make an honest buck.

317. Why should I give up 50% of my commission?

318. Listen, man.

319. You'd only be splitting commissions on sales

320. you wouldn't have made otherwise.

321. That's a good point.

322. So would you rather make 50% of something

323. or 100% of nothing?

324. - 50% of something. - There you go.

325. Boo-yah!

326. Um, Michael.

327. But 100% of nothing is not too shabby.

328. I was a little skeptical about the idea.

329. But Michael made some good points.

330. - Hey, Danny. - Hey.

331. I'm really sorry,

332. but we can't come to your party tonight.

333. Ah, I was looking forward

334. to throwing some darts with you guys.

335. - Well... - Okay, well, then,

336. maybe we could do it...

337. Like next Halloween.

338. - Oh, for sure. - We're just, like,

339. totally caught in the middle here.

340. What are you talking about?

341. Well, Jim and Pam basically begged us not to go.

342. Jim and Pam really don't want you to go?

343. They're really upset

344. about the whole Danny situation.

345. I'll talk to them.

346. Yeah, but just don't tell them

347. that we said anything to you.

348. - Okay? - Okay.

349. Or you're dead.

350. Okay.

351. Okay.

352. - Thank you. - Oh, my God, a fan.

353. Sorry.

354. "You really made an impression on us.

355. Jo Bennett, CEO."

356. Oh, do you remember these?

357. Oh.

358. Be careful.

359. Those things are great.

360. - I love those things. - I love—

361. Sorry.

362. Well, well.

363. You must feel like the tallest girl at the dance.

364. Feels good to be recognized.

365. Aww, well, I feel good when you feel good.

366. It may seem that I'm trying to play both sides.

367. That is because I am.

368. Things are sometimes what they seem.

369. It took real stones going over Michael's head.

370. He's keeping me down too.

371. I think you and I have a lot in common,

372. outside from the one gigantic difference.

373. Did you need something, Dwight?

374. Not now.

375. But maybe in the future, I will.

376. And when I do,

377. I'd appreciate it if you remembered back to now

378. when I came in here asking nothing of you.

379. - Open or closed? - Closed.

380. Okay.

381. Kelly.

382. Great costume.

383. - Thanks. - Oh...

384. Kelly! You cannot change costumes

385. in the middle of the day!

386. Pam, she's out.

387. Um, if I'm out,

388. I'm gonna sue this entire company

389. for discrimination!

390. Guys, you're arguing over a one in 16 chance.

391. Over a prize worth... 40 bucks.

392. Um, 15,000 bucks, Oscar.

393. Yeah, shut it, Oscar.

394. Pam, she's disqualified, right?

395. I'm not disqualified just 'cause I look young and sexy.

396. Only—excuse me? Pam?

397. People are really getting into this contest.

398. This is an amazing prize.

399. I mean, I don't even want to give Pam a compliment

400. 'cause she's so blecch.

401. But she did a good job.

402. I really want that coupon book.

403. I spend most of my Sundays gluing my loose coupons.

404. Into a book.

405. This would free up so much of my day.

406. My costume cost $600.

407. If I had the coupon book,

408. it would've cost 20% less than that,

409. which is why I need that coupon book.

410. Garbage magnet. Garbage magnet.

411. God, magnets are interesting enough.

412. You don't need to tart 'em up with some design.

413. I can't believe this doesn't make you mad.

414. What the hell are they talking about?

415. Hmm, Kevin and Gabe.

416. Probably about the extremes of the human physique.

417. Do you think Kevin is going over my head?

418. I don't—oh, my God.

419. Okay, all right! All right!

420. All right, you know what?

421. That's inappropriate, Kevin.

422. I am your boss, and if you have something to say,

423. it goes through me,

424. and then I take it to Gabe.

425. Chain of command. Do you understand?

426. - I am so sorry. - Oh, you're sorry?

427. - I just thought— - What did you just thought?

428. Well, Gabe asked me if there were any really cool

429. Lady Gaga moves that he could do for the catwalk,

430. - and so then I told... - All right.

431. I told him that there was this one cool move

432. where she powers down like a robot.

433. - Okay. - Okay?

434. But I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you first.

435. Well, don't let it happen again.

436. You think that I would let this happen again?

437. No way, José!

438. I'm...

439. you, Gabe.

440. Okay.

441. Can you imagine? It's just crazy.

442. That is crazy.

443. We would never care if Andy or Kevin went to your party.

444. Look, I'm just glad we can laugh about it,

445. because I was a little nervous about coming to work here

446. with, you know, our history.

447. Oh, my gosh.

448. Everyone keeps blowing that out of proportion.

449. - It's not even a history. - Exactly.

450. It's not like you guys had some long relationship, right?

451. Big, painful breakup I don't know about?

452. - Two or three dates. - It was two.

453. Was it two? I thought it was three.

454. No, we, um...

455. We had plans for a third,

456. but then, I don't know,

457. you never called me back, so...

458. Ooh. You can't handle the truth.

459. Well, that does not sound like me.

460. Yeah. It was, though.

461. That's what happened.

462. Well, great.

463. I just wanted to make sure things weren't weird.

464. Mm-mm.

465. Okay, this whole "going over my head gate"

466. is making people act weird.

467. Chain of command is crumbling.

468. Do you know what just happened?

469. I just made Kevin cry.

470. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga.

471. That's not Halloween.

472. Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters

473. and not be mad at each other.

474. I'm not mad. Are you mad?

475. You went over my head, and then you lied to my face,

476. so my head and my face have taken a beating.

477. Well, I'm sorry if it seems that way to you.

478. Okay, that might help,

479. if you said "I'm sorry" in front of everybody in front of me.

480. If you're able to cry a little bit,

481. all you have to do is think about your mom being dead.

482. - Mike. - Or a dog.

483. Mike, I didn't do anything wrong.

484. You made a bad call.

485. You made a bad call.

486. And I fixed it.

487. So I'm not apologizing.

488. So that's it?

489. - That's it. - Is it?

490. Yes.

491. Suck it.

492. Bill Compton from True Blood.

493. How many freakin' vampires

494. am I supposed to care about these days?

495. Come on, Erin.

496. Oh, yeah. You get it? You get it?

497. Oh.

498. Okay, okay. Here we go, Gabe.

499. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

500. - Yeah, Gabe! - Come on.

501. All right, here we go, Andy.

502. Here we go.

503. Come on, Andy.

504. Do it. Do it.

505. Ooh. Not too fast.

506. - Let go. Let go. - Oh, would you hurry?

507. Nice and slow.

508. Nice and slow.

509. I guess you could say I'm still in costume.

510. I'm a "rational consumer."

511. Oh, yeah.

512. Stupid coupon booklet.

513. You see my costume? I'm a "rational consumer."

514. Yeah, I heard you say it to Phyllis.

515. That's a good line.

516. Okay, everybody, after you walk the runway,

517. everyone has to vote for who gets the coupon book,

518. and you can't vote for yourself.

519. Pam, can you vote for other people?

520. Yep.

521. Oh, and second prize is a set

522. of Vance Refrigeration poetry magnets

523. courtesy of Vance Refrigeration.

524. You gotta ask yourself,

525. do you feel lucky, punk?

526. Oh, hey, I'm just kidding.

527. Let's all have a happy and a safe Halloween.

528. Hey, I got to get in on this.

529. Hey, it's cool, it's cool.

530. Bippity-boppity boopity-boo-bah.

531. You early Bill Cosby?

532. No, man. I work in the warehouse.

533. I'm cool!

534. I'm hip and I'm jive,

535. but I don't care about nobody!

536. Do you know who I am?

537. Happy Halloween, jerk!

538. Still don't know who I am?

539. I'll give you a hint.

540. I go over other people's heads.

541. Michael, this is a bad idea.

542. What's a bad idea?

543. Dressing up as somebody—

544. I mean, when has that ever worked for you?

545. Never!

546. Okay, you know what? Fine.

547. I'm not Darryl.

548. And thank God I'm not Darryl.

549. Could you for once just let us enjoy a party

550. instead of making it about all your issues?

551. Oh, being dead is gonna be so relaxing.

552. Aah!

553. He's a warrior.

554. Yes. Yeah.

555. I present to you the "rational consumer."

556. As it were.

557. Oh, no. Lookie.

558. - Oh. - Lookie, lookie, lookie.

559. - Ow! - Oh!

560. He's doing the Samurai thing.

561. Who did it? Who did it? Who wants to do it now?

562. Slow. Nice and slow, honey, yeah.

563. Angela as a nurse.

564. Don't—slow it down.

565. There it is.

566. I don't like your tone.

567. Look, they were sold out

568. of all the other costumes, okay?

569. Think we all live in the real world here.

570. Let's not pretend to be unaware

571. of what sells in this office.

572. Who do you think's doing it?

573. Maybe it's Tom.

574. Who's Tom?

575. He used to work here.

576. Then one night, he took his own life

577. right here in this office.

578. Ooh, spooky.

579. That really happened.

580. What should we ask?

581. Hey, can I play?

582. Why don't you ask if Darryl is a bad friend

583. who backstabs people in the back?

584. We have one question to ask the spirit world,

585. and you want us to ask that?

586. He says no.

587. Ah, Darryl moved it. You moved it.

588. No.

589. Hey, Dwight, you saw Darryl move it, right?

590. Let's just say I saw

591. exactly what the two of you wanted me to see.

592. I know how to sit on a fence.

593. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence.

594. The trick is to do it face down

595. with the post in your mouth.

596. Tom-Tom, it's the Creedster here.

597. I hope you're happier now. We miss you.

598. We're selling printers now, just like you always wanted.

599. Hey, Tom, it's Michael.

600. You remember Darryl when you were alive, right?

601. If you had one word you would use to describe Darryl,

602. what would that word be?

603. "A"...

604. "S"...

605. "S".

606. "H". No.

607. Oh.

608. "E"...

609. "T".

610. An asset.

611. Aah! Aah!

612. That's enough.

613. I don't think it's gonna work out the way you think.

614. I don't think you get it.

615. - Hey. - Hey.

616. This is some party, huh?

617. When you work hard, you play hard around here.

618. Even if you don't work hard.

619. - Oh, here's something. - Mm?

620. Uh, why didn't you ever call Pam back?

621. Are you serious?

622. Yeah.

623. I mean, I'm not saying that everybody

624. has to fall in love or anything.

625. I'm just saying, but to, you know,

626. to not even call her back is...

627. You know what it was?

628. I think she gave me her number,

629. but then, like, her fours looked like eights, and then...

630. Could be.

631. But you also called her the second time,

632. so you had the number right.

633. Halpert, you looking for someone to bang your wife?

634. - Nope. - Okay.

635. You want to know?

636. I didn't call her back

637. because she spent the whole date talking about you.

638. She was obviously in love with you.

639. 57, 58.

640. Wait, she hasn't moved in a while.

641. Erin. Er—

642. Two. I got two.

643. I ate two whole apples.

644. I'd remember talking about Jim.

645. That wasn't it.

646. Just tell her the real reason.

647. You honestly want to know

648. why I didn't call her back on a date over four years ago?

649. Hey, she had a nice time. It seems rude.

650. I did. Yeah.

651. And it's one of those things

652. that's just gonna keep gnawing at me.

653. Like gnaw, gnaw. "Why? Why didn't he?

654. - I have no idea why." - Okay.

655. Honestly, I didn't call you back

656. 'cause I thought you seemed a little...

657. Dorky.

658. - Hey, man... - Thank you.

659. Thank you.

660. I got it.

661. Now I know.

662. You thought I was a little dorky.

663. You know?

664. Ha-la-la. Okay.

665. Well, excuse me.

666. In the future, you need

667. to get Michael's approval

668. on anything before coming to me.

669. Thank you.

670. You're gonna miss out on some good ideas.

671. Okay, well, obviously,

672. if it's a really— Really good idea,

673. then my door is open to that.

674. If they're good ideas, I'm not gonna say no.

675. - You said no to this one. - That's—okay.

676. I make one mistake in 15 years

677. and you drag me over the coals.

678. After everything I did for you?

679. - What have you done for me? - Oh...

680. - What have you done for me? - Well...

681. Ed Truck hired me. Jo promoted me.

682. Gabe listened to me.

683. All you've ever done was say no to me.

684. I have ambition.

685. And you kept me at the same level for years.

686. Oh, dropping bombs, right?

687. Must really make you think, Michael.

688. Stop it. Stop. Stop. We're thinking.

689. - We're thinking about it. - Yeah.

690. You don't have to point to the fact

691. that we're thinking about it.

692. Stop it. Just let us think.

693. Okay, next time you have a really great idea,

694. we will put it in a hat

695. and then we will have Erin pick it out of the hat

696. and let her decide.

697. I don't understand the point of the hat.

698. You're right. We don't need a hat.

699. I am not budging on the hat issue.

700. Okay, we're gonna table the hat question.

701. The best ideas are gonna come to me.

702. I make the final decision. Period.

703. Okay. We both reserve the right to go to Jo

704. if we disagree with Gabe.

705. - Okay. - Fair enough.

706. Why don't we simplify this?

707. Darryl brings it to Michael. Michael brings it to me.

708. No one calls Jo.

709. Unless you and I decide we want to talk to Jo.

710. - Then we'll give her a call. - Cool.

711. Yeah. I'm sorry I lied to you.

712. I'm sorry. I was a jerk.

713. Friends fight. Friends fight.

714. Doesn't mean that they stop being friends.

715. 'Sup, man?

716. Sometimes it seems like it was better

717. down in the warehouse, you know?

718. When I was a freshman in college,

719. I worked at the student newspaper,

720. The Cornell Daily Sun, this was at Cornell.

721. I had to write an op-ed column every day.

722. "Bernard's Regards."

723. This was your freshman year?

724. I started to ask myself,

725. "Do I have big plans here?"

726. I didn't want to become editor of that paper,

727. so I got up and walked right out of Walter Bernard Hall,

728. and that's actually when I heard eight male voices,

729. singing, unencumbered by instruments.

730. I was hooked.

731. So is becoming CEO of this company...

732. Your a cappella group?

733. Come on, we're going to Danny's bar, Public School.

734. No, I got some work to do.

735. I do got big plans at this company.

736. It was, like, really gentle.

737. To be honest, I still can't believe

738. he didn't call her back.

739. Who doesn't call a dork like that back?

740. Oh, wow.

741. Spinach in a can. Powerful spinach.

742. - A-gah-gah-gah-gah. - Aw, my hero.

743. Yay.

744. My hero.

745. When Michael gave me this new job,

746. he said I could come and go as I please.

747. So I think I'll just go for a while.

748. Okay, everyone, I've tallied the votes.

749. And the winner of the Costume Celebration Spectacular

750. and the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre coupon book, Oscar Martinez.

751. Really?

752. If I have to vote for someone,

753. I don't want it to be someone who can beat me.

754. Shake things up. I'm a Nader guy.

755. Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen.

756. Like, freaky good.

757. A free power boost at Body Shakes Boba Bar?

758. - I don't know what that is. - What?

759. Boba is so weird.

760. That tapioca— No, no, no, no, no.

761. It's not weird. It's different.

762. And it's gross.

763. Who wants a 100 MB MP3 player?

764. Special bonus: does not play iTunes.

765. - Pass. - No, no, no, no.

766. Come on, just look for something good.

767. Get something good, Oscar. You're not reading them right.

768. Oh, five% off your next Dunder Mifflin order.

769. Ask for "Stan the Man."

770. Uh, no thanks.

771. Yes. Yes, I'll take that one.