1. - Look at that, huh? Nice!Copy !req
2. - I love cycling.Copy !req
3. Andy, I feel like a tourist in
my own city.Copy !req
4. I literally can't wait to wake up
every morning.Copy !req
5. - Ok.
- She is a beauty.Copy !req
6. - Can't beat a horse.
A horse is a bike that pedals itself.Copy !req
7. - Oh, look at that, smooth roll.
- YeahCopy !req
8. - You got it!
Lance Armstrong's bike.Copy !req
9. - Yes!
- His ass was on that seat?Copy !req
10. - All right!
- Nice.Copy !req
11. - No, Mary,
that's not his actual bicycle.Copy !req
12. But it is the same
exact model he uses.Copy !req
13. - I'm on Sheryl Crow's side
in that whole thing,Copy !req
14. So I feel really weird
right now.Copy !req
15. - Michael!
- Oh.Copy !req
16. Yes, I can ride a bike.Copy !req
17. I take spinning classes
three times a month.Copy !req
18. I think I know
how to ride a bike.Copy !req
19. - Are you sure you once
knew how to do this?Copy !req
20. - I did, yes!Copy !req
21. I had those extra wheels
on the backCopy !req
22. That support you.Copy !req
23. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!Copy !req
24. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!Copy !req
25. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
- Michael! Yeah!Copy !req
26. - Yeah!
- Just steer more now.Copy !req
27. - Oh, my—
- not the car!Copy !req
28. - Ow!Copy !req
29. You never forget.Copy !req
30. Whoo!Copy !req
31. How do I look?Copy !req
32. - Amazing.
How do I look?Copy !req
33. - Normal. Ugly.Copy !req
34. - Well, I do the best
with what I've got.Copy !req
35. Let's go.
- All right.Copy !req
36. - Wait, wait, wait,
wait for me.Copy !req
37. It's weird if I come in
slightly after.Copy !req
38. - He's not the Steve Nash.Copy !req
39. He's big, though.
He's kind of like...Copy !req
40. Scranton Steve Nash.Copy !req
41. - Will you stop
trying to put it in termsCopy !req
42. You think
they'll understand?Copy !req
43. It's condescending.
- I'm not doing that.Copy !req
44. I'm just explaining.Copy !req
45. - And who is this
"the" Steve Nash?Copy !req
46. - Phoenix sun's point guard?Copy !req
47. - No.
- No? Nothin'?Copy !req
48. - No, Mr. Jock Hipster.Copy !req
49. - Well, I'm neither
of those things, so...Copy !req
50. - Whoa.Copy !req
51. Libby Dirketts got married.Copy !req
52. Big, red mazel tov
to the Libster.Copy !req
53. Ooh. Says here Dan BeckerCopy !req
54. Fell off the side
of KilimanjaroCopy !req
55. In a climbing accident.Copy !req
56. It appears Dan's sherpa
survived to tell the tale—Copy !req
57. Oh, my god!
- What? Is Dan okay?Copy !req
58. - No, he died.Copy !req
59. It's Broccoli Rob.Copy !req
60. You know this guy.Copy !req
61. I showed you his picture
on facebook.Copy !req
62. - Yes.Copy !req
63. - "some Vermont-based alumsCopy !req
64. "can hear
'Broccoli' Rob Blatt, '96,Copy !req
65. "in the state milk lobby's
new milk awareness song,Copy !req
66. "calci-yum, featuring
Phish's Trey anastasio.Copy !req
67. "says Broccoli, 'Trey and I
had a ton of fun in the studio,Copy !req
68. And I think you can
hear it in the song'".Copy !req
69. - Oh, that's great news
for your friend.Copy !req
70. - Yeah. Yeah.
It's great.Copy !req
71. - You know,
I forget about milk.Copy !req
72. This is a terrific reminder.Copy !req
73. - I was the artsy
musical one.Copy !req
74. And here comes trouble.
I had four solos.Copy !req
75. Broccoli Rob had three.Copy !req
76. Right?Copy !req
77. Uhh.Copy !req
78. - Go tell her we're here.Copy !req
79. You're good
with receptionists.Copy !req
80. - Oh, ha ha.Copy !req
81. Dwight...Copy !req
82. - Crap.Copy !req
83. Danny Cordray is the worst.Copy !req
84. - Well, by worst,
you mean the best.Copy !req
85. - The best salesman ever.Copy !req
86. He works for Osprey paper
over in Throop,Copy !req
87. Steals more clients from
dunder-mifflin than anyone.Copy !req
88. - So the situation
is the worst.Copy !req
89. - Also, he slept with pam.Copy !req
90. - No, he didn't.Copy !req
91. - Tell 'em.Copy !req
92. - Nothing happened.Copy !req
93. We went on a couple of dates.Copy !req
94. He never called me again.Copy !req
95. - What?
He never called you?Copy !req
96. I thought you said
it just fizzled.Copy !req
97. - That's fizzling.Copy !req
98. I mean, someone has
to start the fizzle.Copy !req
99. - Yeah, I thought
you started it.Copy !req
100. - No, I liked him.Copy !req
101. For a couple of days.Copy !req
102. Four years ago.Copy !req
103. You know I have a kid
with you, right?Copy !req
104. - Ah.Copy !req
105. - I'm gonna intimidate him.Copy !req
106. Okay?
- Okay, great.Copy !req
107. I'm just gonna watch.
- Watch this.Copy !req
108. So anyway, she says,
"that is the biggest penisCopy !req
109. I have ever seen."
and I said, "I know.Copy !req
110. "that's why I brought you
to the penis museum,Copy !req
111. Where tickets are $1,000."Copy !req
112. Well, hello, Danny.Copy !req
113. - Hey, Dwight.
Good to see you.Copy !req
114. Jim, hey.
- How are you?Copy !req
115. Good to see you too.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
116. - Oh, I'm just here
for the coffee.Copy !req
117. - Oh, like hell you are.
- Dwight!Copy !req
118. - He's not just here
for the coffee, Jim.Copy !req
119. Wake up.Copy !req
120. - Brainstorming session
is now open.Copy !req
121. Anyone has an idea.Copy !req
122. hold... On.Copy !req
123. Sorry, sorry, sorry.Copy !req
124. Hello?Copy !req
125. - Hey, it's Jim.Copy !req
126. Listen, this is important.
Are you busy?Copy !req
127. - Oh, hey.
No, I'm not busy.Copy !req
128. What's up?
- You are busy!Copy !req
129. We're in a meeting!Copy !req
130. - It's Jim, okay?
Yes.Copy !req
131. - Listen, you gotta
get over here,Copy !req
132. 'cause we're
pitching Steve NashCopy !req
133. And Danny Cordray's here.Copy !req
134. - You need the big guns, yes?Copy !req
135. - Yes.
- What'd he say?Copy !req
136. What did he say?
- The big gun thing. Stop.Copy !req
137. - I will see you in ten.
Bye! Hold tight.Copy !req
138. Well, I know a lot of you
thought that my sales daysCopy !req
139. Were behind me.Copy !req
140. And, to be honest,
so did I.Copy !req
141. And the only reason
I got out of the sales gameCopy !req
142. Was to be reluctantly
called back in.Copy !req
143. - You don't look reluctant,
Michael.Copy !req
144. You look really eager.Copy !req
145. no, I don't have time for this.Copy !req
146. Are you kidding me?
- You don't?Copy !req
147. - No! Okay.
All right!Copy !req
148. Just kidding, you can knock.
It's your office.Copy !req
149. Do you have a minute?Copy !req
150. - I'm very busy
with time-sensitive work.Copy !req
151. - Not to go all
Sherlock Holmes on you,Copy !req
152. But I can tell by
the reflection in your glassesCopy !req
153. That you're entering points
into weightwatchers.com.Copy !req
154. - If you don't enter them
immediately,Copy !req
155. You forget.Copy !req
156. What?Copy !req
157. - I'm starting a band,
and I need you on keyboards.Copy !req
158. - Nah.Copy !req
159. I play for pleasure.Copy !req
160. - This is for pleasure.Copy !req
161. - Wouldn't enjoy that.Copy !req
162. - I'm willing pay you.Copy !req
163. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
164. - How much?
- 60 bucks a session.Copy !req
165. - That's crazy money.Copy !req
166. I'll take 40.Copy !req
167. - Yes!Copy !req
168. - There he is.Copy !req
169. - Oh, no,
that's a male model.Copy !req
170. - No, that's him.Copy !req
171. - That...Copy !req
172. Hello.Copy !req
173. Michael Scott,
Dunder-Mifflin paper company.Copy !req
174. - Danny Cordray, Osprey paper.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
175. - Three of you guys
for one sale?Copy !req
176. - Yeah, well...Copy !req
177. We call it overkill.Copy !req
178. Why am I telling you
my strategy?Copy !req
179. - Well, whatever
works for you.Copy !req
180. Anyway, all right.Copy !req
181. - All right.
- Good to see you guys.Copy !req
182. Nice to meet you.
- Goodbye.Copy !req
183. I could swear that guy
was a male model.Copy !req
184. - He's ready for you.Copy !req
185. - Oh, thank you.
All right.Copy !req
186. On the count of three,
it's showtime.Copy !req
187. Ready, one, two—
- no, I'm not doing that.Copy !req
188. - I've been in showtime mode
since breakfast.Copy !req
189. - All right,
just forget it then.Copy !req
190. - Showtime!
- It's showtime!Copy !req
191. Oh... Never mind.
Let's go.Copy !req
192. When I knock on your door,
you know who it is.Copy !req
193. It's Michael Scott.Copy !req
194. We've been together forever,
and—Copy !req
195. - Michael, I appreciate
everything that Dunder-MifflinCopy !req
196. Has done for this company.
- You know what?Copy !req
197. You are hang some problems
with your loading dock.Copy !req
198. Are you not?
All right.Copy !req
199. We're going to deliver to you
on weekends.Copy !req
200. - That's very generous
but—Copy !req
201. - And you know what else
we're gonna do?Copy !req
202. I can't believe
I'm gonna say this.Copy !req
203. We are going to offer you
our paper at cost.Copy !req
204. I know.Copy !req
205. I could get in a lotta
trouble for this,Copy !req
206. So you'd better shake
my hand right now.Copy !req
207. - He's not kidding.
- Shake it, shake it!Copy !req
208. - Michael,
I'm going with Danny.Copy !req
209. - Oh.Copy !req
210. - Thanks for coming in.Copy !req
211. - Okay.
Thank you.Copy !req
212. - Jim talked too much.
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
213. - Yes, you did.
- Stop it.Copy !req
214. Just stop it.
We did what we should have done.Copy !req
215. We just got bested.Copy !req
216. Why is there
a door close buttonCopy !req
217. If it doesn't even
close the door?Copy !req
218. How do I feel about
losing the sale?Copy !req
219. It's like if Michael Phelps
came out of retirement,Copy !req
220. Jumped in the pool,
belly-flopped, and drowned.Copy !req
221. You know who we always
lose out to?Copy !req
222. Staples, the big guys.Copy !req
223. Osprey?
They're a small company.Copy !req
224. They're smaller than we are.Copy !req
225. What's our excuse?
How do we combat this guy?Copy !req
226. Stanley,
how do we combat him?Copy !req
227. - We sell better?Copy !req
228. - Okay. You know what?Copy !req
229. You clearly don't care,
so why don't you just leave?Copy !req
230. - I would like to stay.
This pertains to me.Copy !req
231. - Why don't you go outside
and... take a shot of insulinCopy !req
232. And have a nap, okay?Copy !req
233. - Why do you always assume
I have diabetes?Copy !req
234. - I don't know.
Your frame, your build.Copy !req
235. Why don't you have a glass
of apple juiceCopy !req
236. And tell me
you're not a diabetic.Copy !req
237. - See? I could tell by the sound
you made when you stood upCopy !req
238. That you have—okay.
Yes, Phyllis?Copy !req
239. - I could try to seduce him.Copy !req
240. - Oh, my god!Copy !req
241. - I know how we can
learn his tricks.Copy !req
242. What I'm about to show you
is of the utmost secrecy.Copy !req
243. - Is that your office?
- Yes, Jim.Copy !req
244. And with a little tweaky,
it becomes a different office.Copy !req
245. We lure Danny to it
and watch him sell.Copy !req
246. - Ehh...
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
247. - This is weird.
- You know what this is?Copy !req
248. This is a stinger.
- A what?Copy !req
249. - Like the movie.
- Oh, you mean The Sting.Copy !req
250. - Paul Newman, Robert Redford.
They're bank robbers?Copy !req
251. - Nope. Different movie.
- The Sting. The Sting.Copy !req
252. - Your 2:00.Copy !req
253. - Thanks, hon.Copy !req
254. - Meredith
was the perfect choiceCopy !req
255. To play the head
of the company.Copy !req
256. Her lunch break lined up
with our appointment with DannyCopy !req
257. And... That's it.Copy !req
258. That's really
all we were looking for.Copy !req
259. - Danny Cordray.
It's great to meet you.Copy !req
260. - Meredith Van Helsing.
Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
261. - Meredith Van Helsing?Copy !req
262. - Van Helsing
was a respected professorCopy !req
263. Before he was
a vampire killer.Copy !req
264. - Okay. But what is he
more famous for?Copy !req
265. - Shh!
- Okay. But what is he
more famous for?Copy !req
266. - Shh!Copy !req
267. Hey! That's my mug.Copy !req
268. - You know this isn't
real TV, right?Copy !req
269. - Yes.Copy !req
270. - One second, one second,
one second.Copy !req
271. So... The song is from the point
of view of a little girl.Copy !req
272. - Yeah.
- But you're singing it.Copy !req
273. - Yeah. But I'm using
my falsetto.Copy !req
274. - No, that's not a good idea.
It's not a very good song.Copy !req
275. - Yeah, well,
it'd sound a lot betterCopy !req
276. If you actually
sang with some soul.Copy !req
277. - Oh, I never sing with soul.
- That's a lie.Copy !req
278. - I could sing it.
- I just was hoping maybeCopy !req
279. You'd save your voiceCopy !req
280. In case we did a novelty
song about frogs.Copy !req
281. - But my voice is unique.
Like Bob Dylan.Copy !req
282. - Okay, three-way argumentCopy !req
283. Between a drummer,
a keyboardist,Copy !req
284. And the front man
lead singer.Copy !req
285. Wonder who's gonna
win this one.Copy !req
286. Two, three, four—Copy !req
287. - I'm gonna take off my coat,
if you don't mind.Copy !req
288. It's a bit warm in here.Copy !req
289. - Hel... lo!Copy !req
290. - Oh, no, no, no.
Don't...Copy !req
291. - People can't keep their
true natures hidden for long,Copy !req
292. And this guy is smoldering
like a tire fire.Copy !req
293. - Testify.
- He's not that good-looking. YeahCopy !req
294. I don't understand why
everybody's—Copy !req
295. He is that
good-looking.Copy !req
296. - He's very, very handsome.
- Okay.Copy !req
297. - That's a great set
of shoulders you got there.Copy !req
298. What is that, genetics?Copy !req
299. Creatine?Copy !req
300. Sorry.Copy !req
301. Yeah.
- Pull it together, all right?Copy !req
302. Stop lookin' at him.Copy !req
303. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
304. You're here
to sell me some paper.Copy !req
305. - Well, actually, uh...
No, miss Van Helsing.Copy !req
306. that's not why I'm here.Copy !req
307. I'm here to meet you,Copy !req
308. See if we'd be a, you know,
good fit.Copy !req
309. - What do you mean?
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
310. He's making her sell to him.Copy !req
311. - Okay. Honest feedback time.Copy !req
312. Oscar.Copy !req
313. - That's pandering.Copy !req
314. And it makes me think
you think I'm stupid.Copy !req
315. - But do you think
it could be famous?Copy !req
316. Like in a car commercial
or something?Copy !req
317. - Not really.Copy !req
318. It's kinda weird
that a grown manCopy !req
319. Is singing from the point
of view of a little girl.Copy !req
320. - I feel like I can see
someone ice skating to it.Copy !req
321. You know,
like in the olympics.Copy !req
322. - I-I don't think
they usually...Copy !req
323. Skate to such...
bad songs.Copy !req
324. - Rude.
And not helpful.Copy !req
325. - Well, I really,
really, really liked it.Copy !req
326. - Well, that,
really bums me out.Copy !req
327. - You're welcome.Copy !req
328. - We should think of this
as a first date.Copy !req
329. - and I think it's going very wellCopy !req
330. How 'bout you?Copy !req
331. - Real well.
Uh...Copy !req
332. Feels more like
a third date to me.Copy !req
333. - Ha ha.
There you go!Copy !req
334. - Stay—
- shut up and let me do this!Copy !req
335. You know,Copy !req
336. What is with this desk
keeping us so far apart?Copy !req
337. - I've never been a desk man.Copy !req
338. Always traveling on the road.
Come on, why not, huh?Copy !req
339. - Oh...
- Well, we'll get this...Copy !req
340. - Oh...
- Oh, man.Copy !req
341. - So... What's your drink?Copy !req
342. You a vodka man?
Me too.Copy !req
343. - We gotta get someone else
in there right now.Copy !req
344. You're an exec
at Pennsylvania SolarTech.Copy !req
345. - That sounds fake.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
346. - I told you.Copy !req
347. You're an exec
at Stark industries,Copy !req
348. A corporation
you inherited from your father.Copy !req
349. - Stop it.
Here's the story.Copy !req
350. They need Meredith somewhere
else ASAP, okay?Copy !req
351. So you're taking over.Copy !req
352. You just gotta get her
out of there as soon as you can.Copy !req
353. - I can do that.
Then what?Copy !req
354. - Then make him
pitch to you.Copy !req
355. You gotta see what he's got.
- Exactly.Copy !req
356. - Okay, and remember.
You're not gay.Copy !req
357. - Stop it.
It's gonna be great.Copy !req
358. And listen, if anything else
happens, just... roll with it.Copy !req
359. - Meredith, I—
- oh, Manuel.Copy !req
360. This is Manuel,
my cleaning man.Copy !req
361. He doesn't speak
any English.Copy !req
362. - Hola. ¿que tal?Copy !req
363. - ¿como estas?Copy !req
364. - Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.Copy !req
365. - Who else we got?Copy !req
366. - Okay. You're a young hotshot
from Stark industries.Copy !req
367. You've just bought this company.
Meredith is fired.Copy !req
368. It's a whole new regime.
He's gotta pitch to you now.Copy !req
369. - Okay. Stark industries
isn't real.Copy !req
370. I run google.
Larry and Sergey brought me—Copy !req
371. - That sounds awesome.
Just have him pitch to you.Copy !req
372. - Don't let us down.
- Will do. Won't do.Copy !req
373. - Yeah, sure.
- You smell like a Scorpio.Copy !req
374. - This is Esteban,
another cleaning man.Copy !req
375. He doesn't speak English
either.Copy !req
376. Esteban, el flooro.Copy !req
377. - You know what?Copy !req
378. I may have parked my car
in a compact space,Copy !req
379. And I hate when I see
others do that, so—Copy !req
380. - Danny, I feel
a real connection to you,Copy !req
381. And I gotta get real.Copy !req
382. - No. No, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
383. I'm goin' in!
- Michael!Copy !req
384. No, Michael, stop it!
No!Copy !req
385. - Stop, stop!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
386. Okay. Stop it,
stop it, stop it.Copy !req
387. Gross!
Stop it, please.Copy !req
388. Everybody stop.
- Michael Scott.Copy !req
389. - I said stop.Copy !req
390. - Okay, Danny...Copy !req
391. This is not
Pennsylvania SolarTech.Copy !req
392. This is Dunder-Mifflin
paper company.Copy !req
393. This is Meredith Palmer.
- Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
394. - Don't—stay away from him,
please just leave.Copy !req
395. Get out of here.
Go. Forever.Copy !req
396. - Hmm.
- I owe you...Copy !req
397. A most sincere
and humble apology.Copy !req
398. We were trying to watch you
to see your sales techniqueCopy !req
399. So we could stop losing
so many clients to you.Copy !req
400. - But from where?Copy !req
401. - A surveillance room
next to this one.Copy !req
402. - Okay, so you...
Set up this fake company,Copy !req
403. Then you hired
this homeless womanCopy !req
404. To impersonate an executive
to spy on meCopy !req
405. So that you could copy
my sales technique.Copy !req
406. - Yes. And it's the sincerest
form of flattery.Copy !req
407. - Or... Crazy.Copy !req
408. - Well—
- I'm gonna go.Copy !req
409. - Okay. You know what,
it wasn't just me.Copy !req
410. Jim and Dwight
are behind that wallCopy !req
411. In the surveillance room,
and was their plan as well.Copy !req
412. - no!
- No, no, no, no.Copy !req
413. - Oh, well, then, yeah.
All right, hey!Copy !req
414. Good luck, guys!Copy !req
415. Seems like you got
a great operation here.Copy !req
416. - No, we don't.
Here's... Here's my point.Copy !req
417. Danny, listen,
you have to understandCopy !req
418. That we are not normally
like this.Copy !req
419. We just—we wanted to know
your tricks.Copy !req
420. - What do you mean, tricks?
There's no tricks, man.Copy !req
421. I'm just a good salesman.Copy !req
422. You wanna copy that?
You can't copy that!Copy !req
423. - You are, you are.
You are!Copy !req
424. Stop it, stop it.Copy !req
425. Stop.
You are a good salesman.Copy !req
426. And because of that...Copy !req
427. I want you to work for me.Copy !req
428. - Sure. You seem like
a fun, professional guy.Copy !req
429. - So you will.
- No!Copy !req
430. - Hold it, hold it,
hold it, hold on.Copy !req
431. Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.Copy !req
432. Danny, I want you
to look at me.Copy !req
433. Do you want your life
to be betterCopy !req
434. Or to be worse
or to stay the same?Copy !req
435. - Get out of my way.
- Answer the question.Copy !req
436. Do you want
a better life, Danny?Copy !req
437. - I swear to God,
I'm gonna hit you.Copy !req
438. I didn't mean that.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
439. I'm not—it's just
I'm very upset right now.Copy !req
440. I'm very upset!
- I know, I know.Copy !req
441. Do you want more freedom,
less freedom,Copy !req
442. or to stay the same?Copy !req
443. More freedom.Copy !req
444. - I can give you
more money.Copy !req
445. There's your better life.Copy !req
446. I can let you come and go
as you please.Copy !req
447. There's your freedom.Copy !req
448. And you already know
Dunder-MifflinCopy !req
449. has the best service
and the best prices.Copy !req
450. But you beat us anyway.Copy !req
451. - Can you imagineCopy !req
452. how well you would do
selling our stuff?Copy !req
453. Everyone,
may I have your attention?Copy !req
454. I would like to introduce you
to Mr. Danny Cordray.Copy !req
455. He's going to be joining us
as our new traveling salesman.Copy !req
456. Say hello to Danny!
He's going to be joining us
as our new traveling salesman.Copy !req
457. Say hello to Danny!Copy !req
458. - me.Copy !req
459. - Okay.
You know what?Copy !req
460. No. No.Copy !req
461. This is not some sort
of construction siteCopy !req
462. Or all of ItalyCopy !req
463. Where you can just go around
treating people like meat.Copy !req
464. We are to respect him.Copy !req
465. I respect him because
he reminds me of somebody.Copy !req
466. Can anybody guess
who that is?Copy !req
467. - Josh Duhamel.
- Yeah, I can see that!Copy !req
468. - No. No. No.
Somebody in this office.Copy !req
469. - He's like
a better-looking Andy.Copy !req
470. - Thanks, Kevin.Copy !req
471. - No. Me.
Right?Copy !req
472. Sorta like... A little
younger version of me.Copy !req
473. - It's hard to judge ourselves
accurately, isn't it?Copy !req
474. - Michael.
- Yes.Copy !req
475. - Can I talk to you
about something?Copy !req
476. - No, you may not.Copy !req
477. - It's about this very
announcement you just made.Copy !req
478. - I just said no.
- Michael—Copy !req
479. - Michael, I think you
really want to talk to him.Copy !req
480. - Okay, let's—
all right, all right.Copy !req
481. Let's talk.
Please don't let him leave.Copy !req
482. Don't leave.
- Gotcha.Copy !req
483. - You hired him?
- Guys, let me ask you something.Copy !req
484. Do you want your life to be
better or worseCopy !req
485. Or stay the same?
Stay the same.Copy !req
486. - Okay. Well... Get ready,
'cause it's gonna get better.Copy !req
487. - It's not gonna get better.Copy !req
488. He's gonna steal
all of our clients.Copy !req
489. - No. No. Wrong.Copy !req
490. He would have stolen
your clients,Copy !req
491. But you know what?
He can't now.Copy !req
492. This guy used to steal
sales from us.Copy !req
493. Now he's going to steal
sales for us.Copy !req
494. - Where's he gonna sit?
There's no more seats.Copy !req
495. - He doesn't need to sit.
He's a traveling salesman.Copy !req
496. Look, I am not going to exclude
good people from our staffCopy !req
497. simply because
they are threatening to you.Copy !req
498. And unless you have a better
argument than that,Copy !req
499. I suggest you leave.Copy !req
500. - Mm!Copy !req
501. - Where's he gonna park?Copy !req
502. There's no more
reserved parking spots.Copy !req
503. - Good-bye!Copy !req
504. - Songs about truth.
- Yeah.Copy !req
505. - What's something
you really care about?Copy !req
506. - Reverse snobbery.Copy !req
507. - More universal.Copy !req
508. - Sometimes I feel like
life has passed me by.Copy !req
509. - Oh, nice!Copy !req
510. - Holy crap.
Are you kidding me?Copy !req
511. You just made that—
that's amazing.Copy !req
512. - Go ahead.Copy !req
513. - Oh, my gosh.
We're almost out of time.Copy !req
514. How much
for another half hour?Copy !req
515. - Oh, don't worry about it.Copy !req
516. - Wait.
Seriously?Copy !req
517. - Yeah.Copy !req
518. - So we're just like
jamming as friends?Copy !req
519. - One, two, three, hit it.Copy !req
520. - Oh, you know...
Funny.Copy !req
521. Your wife and I
went on a few dates.Copy !req
522. - Did ya?Copy !req
523. - Yeah, way, way,
way back.Copy !req
524. - I'm just kidding.
She told me about it.Copy !req
525. - Oh. Yeah.
She was not into me.Copy !req
526. - Oh.
- Obviously.Copy !req
527. - I don't even think
she called me back.Copy !req
528. - You snubbed her.
- Dwight, please.Copy !req
529. - Let me handle this, Jim.Copy !req
530. Drop the act, Cordray.
Okay?Copy !req
531. We all know
that you probably thoughtCopy !req
532. that Pam was too "meh"
or thin without being toned.Copy !req
533. But I wanna tell you something.Copy !req
534. She is one of the plain,
hearty women of ScrantonCopy !req
535. that make this city great.Copy !req
536. And so what if she doesn't
wear makeup?Copy !req
537. - we like her better that way!Copy !req
538. And you steal clients,
don't you?Copy !req
539. Don't you!Copy !req
540. - Okay... That's different.Copy !req
541. - Oh, that's different,
is it?Copy !req
542. Okay, thief.Copy !req
543. You better check
your things, people.Copy !req
544. In fact,
where are my keys?Copy !req
545. Oh.
They're in my pocket.Copy !req
546. False alarm.Copy !req
547. Okay.Copy !req
548. So you're...
Gonna be workin' here.Copy !req
549. - Uh...
I mean...Copy !req
550. Yeah.Copy !req
551. - Welcome aboard.Copy !req
552. - Thank you.Copy !req
553. - Hey, crazy, um...Copy !req
554. So... That's it?
You're just—you're fine?Copy !req
555. - It's after 5:00, Jim.
I'm not gonna take this home.Copy !req
556. - Oh.
- Pleasure.Copy !req
557. - Thanks.Copy !req
558. - This morning, Danny Cordray
stole a sale from me.Copy !req
559. So what do I do?Copy !req
560. I go out
and I steal Danny Cordray.Copy !req
561. The sale that mattered,
I made.Copy !req
562. Boom.Copy !req
563. Funny thing about it,
we don't even need him.Copy !req
564. We already have Packer
on the road.Copy !req
565. Ccchhh! Crap.Copy !req
566. I forgot about Packer.Copy !req
567. - Can't tear yourself away
from "The Office"?Copy !req
568. You don't have to. There's more,
coming up next.Copy !req