1. - Look at that, heh, nice.Copy !req
2. - I love cycling.Copy !req
3. Andy, I feel like a tourist in
my own city.Copy !req
4. I literally can't wait to wake up
every morning.Copy !req
5. - Ok.
- She is a beauty.Copy !req
6. - Can't beat a horse.
A horse is a bike that pedals itself.Copy !req
7. - Oh, look at that, smooth roll.
- YeahCopy !req
8. - You got it!
Lance Armstrong's bike.Copy !req
9. - Yes!
- His ass was on that seat?Copy !req
10. - All right!
- Nice.Copy !req
11. - No, Mary,
that's not his actual bicycle.Copy !req
12. But it is the same
exact model he uses.Copy !req
13. - I'm on Sheryl Crow's side
in that whole thing,Copy !req
14. So I feel really weird
right now.Copy !req
15. - Michael!
- Oh.Copy !req
16. Yes, I can ride a bike.Copy !req
17. I take spinning classes
three times a month.Copy !req
18. I think I know
how to ride a bike.Copy !req
19. - Are you sure you once
knew how to do this?Copy !req
20. - I did, yes!Copy !req
21. I had those extra wheels
on the backCopy !req
22. That support you.Copy !req
23. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!Copy !req
24. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!Copy !req
25. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
- Michael! Yeah!Copy !req
26. - Yeah!
- Just steer more now.Copy !req
27. - Oh, my—
- not the car!Copy !req
28. - Ow!Copy !req
29. You never forget.Copy !req
30. Whoo!Copy !req
31. How do I look?Copy !req
32. - Amazing.
How do I look?Copy !req
33. - Normal. Ugly.Copy !req
34. - Well, I do the best
with what I've got.Copy !req
35. Let's go.
- All right.Copy !req
36. - Wait, wait, wait,
wait for me.Copy !req
37. It's weird if I come in
slightly after.Copy !req
38. We have a big meeting
with the chief buyerCopy !req
39. For frames select,
Steve Nash.Copy !req
40. - He's not the Steve Nash.Copy !req
41. He's big, though.
He's kind of like...Copy !req
42. Scranton Steve Nash.Copy !req
43. - Will you stop
trying to put it in termsCopy !req
44. You think
they'll understand?Copy !req
45. It's condescending.
- I'm not doing that.Copy !req
46. I'm just explaining.Copy !req
47. - And who is this
"the" Steve Nash?Copy !req
48. - Phoenix sun's point guard?Copy !req
49. - No.
- No? Nothin'?Copy !req
50. - No, Mr. Jock Hipster.Copy !req
51. - Well, I'm neither
of those things, so...Copy !req
52. - Whoa.Copy !req
53. Libby Dirketts got married.Copy !req
54. Big, red mazel tov
to the Libster.Copy !req
55. Ooh. Says here Dan BeckerCopy !req
56. Fell off the side
of KilimanjaroCopy !req
57. In a climbing accident.Copy !req
58. It appears Dan's sherpa
survived to tell the tale—Copy !req
59. Oh, my god!
- What? Is Dan okay?Copy !req
60. - No, he died.Copy !req
61. It's Broccoli Rob.Copy !req
62. You know this guy.Copy !req
63. I showed you his picture
on facebook.Copy !req
64. - Yes.Copy !req
65. - "some Vermont-based alumsCopy !req
66. "can hear
'Broccoli' Rob Blatt, '96,Copy !req
67. "in the state milk lobby's
new milk awareness song,Copy !req
68. "calci-yum, featuring
Phish's Trey anastasio.Copy !req
69. "says Broccoli, 'Trey and I
had a ton of fun in the studio,Copy !req
70. And I think you can
hear it inhe song'".Copy !req
71. - Oh, that's great news
for your friend.Copy !req
72. - Yeah. Yeah.
It's great.Copy !req
73. - You know,
I forget about milk.Copy !req
74. This is a terrific reminder.Copy !req
75. - I was the artsy
musical one.Copy !req
76. And here comes trouble.
I had four solos.Copy !req
77. Broccoli Rob had three.Copy !req
78. Right?Copy !req
79. Uhh.Copy !req
80. - Go tell her we're here.Copy !req
81. You're good
with receptionists.Copy !req
82. - Oh, ha ha.Copy !req
83. Dwight...Copy !req
84. - Crap.Copy !req
85. Danny Cordray is the worst.Copy !req
86. - Well, by worst,
you mean the best.Copy !req
87. - The best salesman ever.Copy !req
88. He works for Osprey paper
over in Throop,Copy !req
89. Steals more clients from
dunder-mifflin than anyone.Copy !req
90. - So the situation
is the worst.Copy !req
91. - Also, he slept with pam.Copy !req
92. - No, he didn't.Copy !req
93. - Tell 'em.Copy !req
94. - Nothing happened.Copy !req
95. We went on a couple of dates.Copy !req
96. He never called me again.Copy !req
97. - What?
He never called you?Copy !req
98. I thought you said
it just fizzled.Copy !req
99. - That's fizzling.Copy !req
100. I mean, someone has
to start the fizzle.Copy !req
101. - Yeah, I thought
you started it.Copy !req
102. - No, I liked him.Copy !req
103. For a couple of days.Copy !req
104. Four years ago.Copy !req
105. You know I have a kid
with you, right?Copy !req
106. - Ah.Copy !req
107. - I'm gonna intimidate him.Copy !req
108. Okay?
- Okay, great.Copy !req
109. I'm just gonna watch.
- Watch this.Copy !req
110. So anyway, she says,
"that is the biggest penisCopy !req
111. I have ever seen."
and I said, "I know.Copy !req
112. "that's why I brought you
to the penis museum,Copy !req
113. Where tickets are $1,000."Copy !req
114. Well, hello, Danny.Copy !req
115. - Hey, Dwight.
Good to see you.Copy !req
116. Jim, hey.
- How are you?Copy !req
117. Good to see you too.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
118. - Oh, I'm just here
for the coffee.Copy !req
119. - Oh, like hell you are.
- Dwight!Copy !req
120. - He's not just here
for the coffee, Jim.Copy !req
121. Wake up.Copy !req
122. - Brainstorming session
is now open.Copy !req
123. Anyone has an idea.Copy !req
124. hold... On.Copy !req
125. Sorry, sorry, sorry.Copy !req
126. Hello?Copy !req
127. - Hey, it's Jim.Copy !req
128. Listen, this is important.
Are you busy?Copy !req
129. - Oh, hey.
No, I'm not busy.Copy !req
130. What's up?
- You are busy!Copy !req
131. We're in a meeting!Copy !req
132. - It's Jim, okay?
Yes.Copy !req
133. - Listen, you gotta
get over here,Copy !req
134. 'cause we're
pitching Steve NashCopy !req
135. And Danny Cordray's here.Copy !req
136. - You need the big guns, yes?Copy !req
137. - Yes.
- What'd he say?Copy !req
138. What did he say?
- The big gun thing. Stop.Copy !req
139. - I will see you in ten.
Bye! Hold tight.Copy !req
140. Well, I know a lot of you
thought that my sales daysCopy !req
141. Were behind me.Copy !req
142. And, to be honest,
so did I.Copy !req
143. And the only reason
I got out of the sales gameCopy !req
144. Was to be reluctantly
called back in.Copy !req
145. - You don't look reluctant,
Michael.Copy !req
146. You look really eager.Copy !req
147. - no, I don't have time for this.Copy !req
148. Are you kidding me?
- You don't?Copy !req
149. - No! Okay.
All right!Copy !req
150. Just kidding, you can knock.
It's your office.Copy !req
151. Do you have a minute?Copy !req
152. - I'm very busy
with time-sensitive work.Copy !req
153. - Not to go all
Sherlock Holmes on you,Copy !req
154. But I can tell by
the reflection in your glassesCopy !req
155. That you're entering points
into weightwatchers.com.Copy !req
156. - If you don't enter them
immediately,Copy !req
157. You forget.Copy !req
158. What?Copy !req
159. - I'm starting a band,
and I need you on keyboards.Copy !req
160. - Nah.Copy !req
161. I play for pleasure.Copy !req
162. - This is for pleasure.Copy !req
163. - Wouldn't enjoy that.Copy !req
164. - I'm willing pay you.Copy !req
165. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
166. - How much?
- 60 bucks a session.Copy !req
167. - That's crazy money.Copy !req
168. I'll take 40.Copy !req
169. - Yes!Copy !req
170. - There he is.Copy !req
171. - Oh, no,
that's a male model.Copy !req
172. - No, that's him.Copy !req
173. - That...Copy !req
174. Hello.Copy !req
175. Michael Scott,
Dunder-Mifflin paper company.Copy !req
176. - Danny Cordray, Osprey paper.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
177. - Three of you guys
for one sale?Copy !req
178. - Yeah, well...Copy !req
179. We call it overkill.Copy !req
180. Why am I telling you
my strategy?Copy !req
181. - Well, whatever
works for you.Copy !req
182. Anyway, all right.Copy !req
183. - All right.
- Good to see you guys.Copy !req
184. Nice to meet you.
- Goodbye.Copy !req
185. I could swear that guy
was a male model.Copy !req
186. - He's ready for you.Copy !req
187. - Oh, thank you.
All right.Copy !req
188. On the count of three,
it's showtime.Copy !req
189. Ready, one, two—
- no, I'm not doing that.Copy !req
190. - I've been in showtime mode
since breakfast.Copy !req
191. - All right,
just forget it then.Copy !req
192. - Showtime!
- It's showtime!Copy !req
193. Oh... Never mind.
Let's go.Copy !req
194. When I knock on your door,
you know who it is.Copy !req
195. It's Michael Scott.Copy !req
196. We've been together forever,
and—Copy !req
197. - Michael, I appreciate
everything that Dunder-MifflinCopy !req
198. Has done for this company.
- You know what?Copy !req
199. You are hang some problems
with your loading dock.Copy !req
200. Are you not?
All right.Copy !req
201. We're going to deliver to you
on weekends.Copy !req
202. - That's very generous
but—Copy !req
203. - And you know what else
we're gonna do?Copy !req
204. I can't believe
I'm gonna say this.Copy !req
205. We are going to offer you
our paper at cost.Copy !req
206. I know.Copy !req
207. I could get in a lotta
trouble for this,Copy !req
208. So you'd better shake
my hand right now.Copy !req
209. - He's not kidding.
- Shake it, shake it!Copy !req
210. - Michael,
I'm going with Danny.Copy !req
211. - Oh.Copy !req
212. - Thanks for coming in.Copy !req
213. - Okay.
Thank you.Copy !req
214. - Jim talked too much.
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
215. - Yes, you did.
- Stop it.Copy !req
216. Just stop it.
We did what we should have done.Copy !req
217. We just got bested.Copy !req
218. Why is there
a door close buttonCopy !req
219. If it doesn't even
close the door?Copy !req
220. How do I feel about
losing the sale?Copy !req
221. It's like if Michael Phelps
came out of retirement,Copy !req
222. Jumped in the pool,
belly-flopped, and drowned.Copy !req
223. You know who we always
lose out to?Copy !req
224. Staples, the big guys.Copy !req
225. Osprey?
They're a small company.Copy !req
226. They're smaller than we are.Copy !req
227. What's our excuse?
How do we combat this guy?Copy !req
228. Stanley,
how do we combat him?Copy !req
229. - We sell better?Copy !req
230. - Okay. You know what?Copy !req
231. You clearly don't care,
so why don't you just leave?Copy !req
232. - I would like to stay.
This pertains to me.Copy !req
233. - Why don't you go outside
and... take a shot of insulinCopy !req
234. And have a nap, okay?Copy !req
235. - Why do you always assume
I have diabetes?Copy !req
236. - I don't know.
Your frame, your build.Copy !req
237. Why don't you have a glass
of apple juiceCopy !req
238. And tell me
you're not a diabetic.Copy !req
239. - See? I could tell by the sound
you made when you stood upCopy !req
240. That you have—okay.
Yes, Phyllis?Copy !req
241. - I could try to seduce him.Copy !req
242. - Oh, my god!Copy !req
243. - I know how we can
learn his tricks.Copy !req
244. What I'm about to show you
is of the utmost secrecy.Copy !req
245. - Is that your office?
- Yes, Jim.Copy !req
246. And with a little tweaky,
it becomes a different office.Copy !req
247. We lure Danny to it
and watch him sell.Copy !req
248. - Ehh...
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
249. - This is weird.
- You know what this is?Copy !req
250. This is a stinger.
- A what?Copy !req
251. - Like the movie.
- Oh, you mean The Sting.Copy !req
252. - Paul Newman, Robert Redford.
They're bank robbers?Copy !req
253. - Nope. Different movie.
- The Sting. The Sting.Copy !req
254. - Your 2:00.Copy !req
255. - Thanks, hon.Copy !req
256. - Meredith
was the perfect choiceCopy !req
257. To play the head
of the company.Copy !req
258. Her lunch break lined up
with our appointment with DannyCopy !req
259. And... That's it.Copy !req
260. That's really
all we were looking for.Copy !req
261. - Danny Cordray.
It's great to meet you.Copy !req
262. - Meredith Van Helsing.
Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
263. - Meredith Van Helsing?Copy !req
264. - Van Helsing
was a respected professorCopy !req
265. Before he was
a vampire killer.Copy !req
266. - Okay. But what is he
more famous for?Copy !req
267. - Shh!Copy !req
268. Hey! That's my mug.Copy !req
269. - You know this isn't
real TV, right?Copy !req
270. - Yes.Copy !req
271. - One second, one second,
one second.Copy !req
272. So... The song is from the point
of view of a little girl.Copy !req
273. - Yeah.
- But you're singing it.Copy !req
274. - Yeah. But I'm using
my falsetto.Copy !req
275. - No, that's not a good idea.
It's not a very good song.Copy !req
276. - Yeah, well,
it'd sound a lot betterCopy !req
277. If you actually
sang with some soul.Copy !req
278. - Oh, I never sing with soul.
- That's a lie.Copy !req
279. - I could sing it.
- I just was hoping maybeCopy !req
280. You'd save your voiceCopy !req
281. In case we did a novelty
song about frogs.Copy !req
282. - But my voice is unique.
Like Bob Dylan.Copy !req
283. - Okay, three-way argumentCopy !req
284. Between a drummer,
a keyboardist,Copy !req
285. And the front man
lead singer.Copy !req
286. Wonder who's gonna
win this one.Copy !req
287. Two, three, four—Copy !req
288. - I'm gonna take off my coat,
if you don't mind.Copy !req
289. It's a bit warm in here.Copy !req
290. - Hel... lo!Copy !req
291. - Oh, no, no, no.
Don't...Copy !req
292. - People can't keep their
true natures hidden for long,Copy !req
293. And this guy is smoldering
like a tire fire.Copy !req
294. - Testify.
- He's not that good-looking.Copy !req
295. I don't understand why
everybody's—Copy !req
296. - Yeah, he is that
good-looking.Copy !req
297. - He's very, very handsome.
- Okay.Copy !req
298. - That's a great set
of shoulders you got there.Copy !req
299. What is that, genetics?Copy !req
300. Creatine?Copy !req
301. Sorry.Copy !req
302. Yeah.
- Pull it together, all right?Copy !req
303. Stop lookin' at him.Copy !req
304. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
305. You're here
to sell me some paper.Copy !req
306. - Well, actually, uh...
No, miss Van Helsing.Copy !req
307. that's not why I'm here.Copy !req
308. I'm here to meet you,Copy !req
309. See if we'd be a, you know,
good fit.Copy !req
310. - What do you mean?
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
311. He's making her sell to him.Copy !req
312. - Okay. Honest feedback time.Copy !req
313. Oscar.Copy !req
314. - That's pandering.Copy !req
315. And it makes me think
you think I'm stupid.Copy !req
316. - But do you think
it could be famous?Copy !req
317. Like in a car commercial
or something?Copy !req
318. - Not really.Copy !req
319. It's kinda weird
that a grown manCopy !req
320. Is singing from the point
of view of a little girl.Copy !req
321. - I feel like I can see
someone ice skating to it.Copy !req
322. You know,
like in the olympics.Copy !req
323. - I-I don't think
they usually...Copy !req
324. Skate to such...
bad songs.Copy !req
325. - Rude.
And not helpful.Copy !req
326. - Well, I really,
really, really liked it.Copy !req
327. - Well, that,
really bums me out.Copy !req
328. - You're welcome.Copy !req
329. - We should think of this
as a first date.Copy !req
330. - and I think it's goingCopy !req
331. Very well.
How 'bout you?Copy !req
332. - Real well.
Uh...Copy !req
333. Feels more like
a third date to me.Copy !req
334. - Ha ha.
There you go!Copy !req
335. - Stay—
- shut up and let me do this!Copy !req
336. You know,Copy !req
337. What is with this desk
keeping us so far apart?Copy !req
338. - I've never been a desk man.Copy !req
339. Always traveling on the road.
Come on, why not, huh?Copy !req
340. - Oh...
- Well, we'll get this...Copy !req
341. - Oh...
- Oh, man.Copy !req
342. - So... What's your drink?Copy !req
343. You a vodka man?
Me too.Copy !req
344. - We gotta get someone else
in there rightow.Copy !req
345. You're an exec
at pennsylvania solartech.Copy !req
346. - That sounds fake.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
347. - I told you.Copy !req
348. You're an exec
at Stark industries,Copy !req
349. A corporation
you inherited from your father.Copy !req
350. - Stop it.
Here's the story.Copy !req
351. They need Meredith somewhere
else ASAP, okay?Copy !req
352. So you're taking over.Copy !req
353. You just gotta get her
out of there as soon as you can.Copy !req
354. - I can do that.
Then what?Copy !req
355. - Then make him
pitch to you.Copy !req
356. You gotta see what he's got.
- Exactly.Copy !req
357. - Okay, and remember.
You're not gay.Copy !req
358. - Stop it.
It's gonna be great.Copy !req
359. And listen, if anything else
happens, just... roll with it.Copy !req
360. - Meredith, I—
- oh, Manuel.Copy !req
361. This is Manuel,
my cleaning man.Copy !req
362. He doesn't speak
any English.Copy !req
363. - Hola. ¿que tal?Copy !req
364. - ¿como estas?Copy !req
365. - Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.Copy !req
366. - Who else we got?Copy !req
367. - Okay. You're a young hotshot
from Stark industries.Copy !req
368. You've just bought this company.
Meredith is fired.Copy !req
369. It's a whole new regime.
He's gotta pitch to you now.Copy !req
370. - Okay. Stark industries
isn't real.Copy !req
371. I run google.
Larry and Sergey brought me—Copy !req
372. - That sounds awesome.
Just have him pitch to you.Copy !req
373. - Don't let us down.
- Will do. Won't do.Copy !req
374. - Yeah, sure.
- You smell like a Scorpio.Copy !req
375. - This is Esteban,
another cleaning man.Copy !req
376. He doesn't speak English
either.Copy !req
377. Esteban, el flooro.Copy !req
378. - You know what?Copy !req
379. I may have parked my car
in a compact space,Copy !req
380. And I hate when I see
others do that, so—Copy !req
381. - Danny, I feel
a real connection to you,Copy !req
382. And I gotta get real.Copy !req
383. - No. No, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
384. I'm goin' in!
- Michael!Copy !req
385. No, Michael, stop it!
No!Copy !req
386. - Stop, stop!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
387. Okay. Stop it,
stop it, stop it.Copy !req
388. Gross!
Stop it, please.Copy !req
389. Everybody stop.
- Michael Scott.Copy !req
390. - I said stop.Copy !req
391. - Okay, Danny...Copy !req
392. This is not
Pennsylvania Solartech.Copy !req
393. This is Dunder-Mifflin
paper company.Copy !req
394. This is Meredith Palmer.
- Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
395. - Don't—stay away from him,
please just leave.Copy !req
396. Get out of here.
Go. Forever.Copy !req
397. - Hmm.
- I owe you...Copy !req
398. A most sincere
and humble apology.Copy !req
399. We were trying to watch you
to see your sales techniqueCopy !req
400. So we could stop losing
so many clients to you.Copy !req
401. - But from where?Copy !req
402. - A surveillance room
next to this one.Copy !req
403. - Okay, so you...
Set up this fake company,Copy !req
404. Then you hired
this homeless womanCopy !req
405. To impersonate an executive
to spy on meCopy !req
406. So that you could copy
my sales technique.Copy !req
407. - Yes. And it's the sincerest
form of flattery.Copy !req
408. - Or... Crazy.Copy !req
409. - Well—
- I'm gonna go.Copy !req
410. - Okay. You know what,
it wasn't just me.Copy !req
411. Jim and Dwight
are behind that wallCopy !req
412. In the surveillance room,
and was their plan as well.Copy !req
413. - no!
- No, no, no, no.Copy !req
414. - Oh, well, then, yeah.
All right, hey!Copy !req
415. Good luck, guys!Copy !req
416. Seems like you got
a great operation here.Copy !req
417. - No, we don't.
Here's... Here's my point.Copy !req
418. Danny, listen,
you have to understandCopy !req
419. That we are not normally
like this.Copy !req
420. We just—we wanted to know
your tricks.Copy !req
421. - What do you mean, tricks?
There's no tricks, man.Copy !req
422. I'm just a good salesman.Copy !req
423. You wanna copy that?
You can't copy that!Copy !req
424. - You are, you are.
You are!Copy !req
425. Stop it, stop it.Copy !req
426. Stop.
You are a good salesman.Copy !req
427. And because of that...Copy !req
428. I want you to work for me.Copy !req
429. - Sure. You seem like
a fun, professional guy.Copy !req
430. - So you will.
- No!Copy !req
431. - Hold it, hold it,
hold it, hold on.Copy !req
432. Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.Copy !req
433. Danny, I want you
to look at me.Copy !req
434. Do you want your life
to be betterCopy !req
435. Or to be worse
or to stay the same?Copy !req
436. - Get out of my way.
- Answer the question.Copy !req
437. Do you want
a better life, Danny?Copy !req
438. - I swear to God,
I'm gonna hit you.Copy !req
439. I didn't mean that.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
440. I'm not—it's just
I'm very upset right now.Copy !req
441. I'm very upset!
- I know, I know.Copy !req
442. Do you want more freedom,
less freedom,Copy !req
443. or to stay the same?Copy !req
444. More freedom.Copy !req
445. - I can give you
more money.Copy !req
446. There's your better life.Copy !req
447. I can let you come and go
as you please.Copy !req
448. There's your freedom.Copy !req
449. And you already know
Dunder-MifflinCopy !req
450. has the best service
and the best prices.Copy !req
451. But you beat us anyway.Copy !req
452. - Can you imagineCopy !req
453. how well you would do
selling our stuff?Copy !req
454. Everyone,
may I have your attention?Copy !req
455. I would like to introduce you
to Mr. Danny Cordray.Copy !req
456. He's going to be joining us
as our new traveling salesman.Copy !req
457. Say hello to Danny!Copy !req
458. - me.Copy !req
459. - Okay.
You know what?Copy !req
460. No. No.Copy !req
461. This is not some sort
of construction siteCopy !req
462. Or all of ItalyCopy !req
463. Where you can just go around
treating people like meat.Copy !req
464. We are to respect him.Copy !req
465. I respect him because
he reminds me of somebody.Copy !req
466. Can anybody guess
who that is?Copy !req
467. - Josh Duhamel.
- Yeah, I can see that!Copy !req
468. - No. No. No.
Somebody in this office.Copy !req
469. - He's like
a better-looking Andy.Copy !req
470. - Thanks, Kevin.Copy !req
471. - No. Me.
Right?Copy !req
472. Sorta like... A little
younger version of me.Copy !req
473. - It's hard to judge ourselves
accurately, isn't it?Copy !req
474. - Michael.
- Yes.Copy !req
475. - Can I talk to you
about something?Copy !req
476. - No, you may not.Copy !req
477. - It's about this very
announcement you just made.Copy !req
478. - I just said no.
- Michael—Copy !req
479. - Michael, I think you
really want to talk to him.Copy !req
480. - Okay, let's—
all right, all right.Copy !req
481. Let's talk.
Please don't let him leave.Copy !req
482. Don't leave.
- Gotcha.Copy !req
483. - You hired him?
- Guys, let me ask you something.Copy !req
484. Do you want your life to be
better or worseCopy !req
485. - Or stay the same?
- Stay the same.Copy !req
486. - Okay. Well... Get ready,
'cause it's gonna get better.Copy !req
487. - It's not gonna get better.Copy !req
488. He's gonna steal
all of our clients.Copy !req
489. - No. No. Wrong.Copy !req
490. He would have stolen
your clients,Copy !req
491. But you know what?
He can't now.Copy !req
492. This guy used to steal
sales from us.Copy !req
493. Now he's going to steal
sales for us.Copy !req
494. - Where's he gonna sit?
There's no more seats.Copy !req
495. - He doesn't need to sit.
He's a traveling salesman.Copy !req
496. Look, I am not going to exclude
good people from our staffCopy !req
497. simply because
they are threatening to you.Copy !req
498. And unless you have a better
argument than that,Copy !req
499. I suggest you leave.Copy !req
500. - Mm!Copy !req
501. - Where's he gonna park?Copy !req
502. There's no more
reserved parking spots.Copy !req
503. - Good-bye!Copy !req
504. - Songs about truth.
- Yeah.Copy !req
505. - What's something
you really care about?Copy !req
506. - Reverse snobbery.Copy !req
507. - More universal.Copy !req
508. - Sometimes I feel like
life has passed me by.Copy !req
509. - Oh, nice!Copy !req
510. - Holy crap.
Are you kidding me?Copy !req
511. You just made that—
that's amazing.Copy !req
512. - Go ahead.Copy !req
513. - Oh, my gosh.
We're almost out of time.Copy !req
514. How much
for another half hour?Copy !req
515. - Oh, don't worry about it.Copy !req
516. - Wait.
Seriously?Copy !req
517. - Yeah.Copy !req
518. - So we're just like
jamming as friends?Copy !req
519. - One, two, three, hit it.Copy !req
520. - Oh, you know...
Funny.Copy !req
521. Your wife and I
went on a few dates.Copy !req
522. - Did ya?Copy !req
523. - Yeah, way, way,
way back.Copy !req
524. - I'm just kidding.
She told me about it.Copy !req
525. - Oh. Yeah.
She was not into me.Copy !req
526. - Oh.
- Obviously.Copy !req
527. - I don't even think
she called me back.Copy !req
528. - You snubbed her.
- Dwight, please.Copy !req
529. - Let me handle this, Jim.Copy !req
530. Drop the act, Cordray.
Okay?Copy !req
531. We all know
that you probably thoughtCopy !req
532. that Pam was too "meh"
or thin without being toned.Copy !req
533. But I wanna tell you something.Copy !req
534. She is one of the plain,
hearty women of ScrantonCopy !req
535. that make this city great.Copy !req
536. And so what if she doesn't
wear makeup?Copy !req
537. - we like her better that way!Copy !req
538. And you steal clients,
don't you?Copy !req
539. Don't you!Copy !req
540. - Okay... That's different.Copy !req
541. - Oh, that's different,
is it?Copy !req
542. Okay, thief.Copy !req
543. You better check
your things, people.Copy !req
544. In fact,
where are my keys?Copy !req
545. Oh.
They're in my pocket.Copy !req
546. False alarm.Copy !req
547. Okay.Copy !req
548. So you're...
Gonna be workin' here.Copy !req
549. - Uh... I mean...Copy !req
550. Yeah.Copy !req
551. - Welcome aboard.Copy !req
552. - Thank you.Copy !req
553. - Hey, crazy, um...Copy !req
554. So... That's it?
You're just—you're fine?Copy !req
555. - It's after 5:00, Jim.
I'm not gonna take this home.Copy !req
556. - Oh.
- Pleasure.Copy !req
557. - Thanks.Copy !req
558. - This morning, Danny Cordray
stole a sale from me.Copy !req
559. So what do I do?Copy !req
560. I go out
and I steal Danny Cordray.Copy !req
561. The sale that mattered,
I made.Copy !req
562. Boom.Copy !req
563. Funny thing about it,
we don't even need him.Copy !req
564. We already have Packer
on the road.Copy !req
565. Ccchhh! Crap.Copy !req
566. I forgot about Packer.Copy !req
567. - Can't tear youself away
from "The Office"?Copy !req
568. You don't have to. There's more,
coming up next.Copy !req