1. Everybody, can I please
have your attention?Copy !req
2. Ryan and I have a huge announcement.Copy !req
3. - Oh, my gosh!
- Wow!Copy !req
4. Over the weekend,Copy !req
5. Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.Copy !req
6. Sweet. Free ring!Copy !req
7. - Divorced?
- Just so you know,Copy !req
8. it's totally amicable.
We're fine.Copy !req
9. We don't need people here to take sides.Copy !req
10. The last thing that we want
is any kind of drama.Copy !req
11. Wait, I—
Can you back up?Copy !req
12. What's the story?Copy !req
13. We were having a beautiful
weekend in the Poconos.Copy !req
14. We were making love constantly.Copy !req
15. We saw the sun rise,
and Ryan was crying a lot.Copy !req
16. - That's not a relevant detail.
- And in the morning,Copy !req
17. we walked by a chapel
and we stopped suddenly,Copy !req
18. and Ryan said...Copy !req
19. "I don't think I should
be married to you anymore."Copy !req
20. Wait, wha—Copy !req
21. Sorry, when did you get married?Copy !req
22. Um, like a week ago.Copy !req
23. We got really wasted,
and it just felt right.Copy !req
24. We didn't tell you guysCopy !req
25. we're not one of those couples
who makes a big dealCopy !req
26. about their wedding at work,Copy !req
27. and guilts everyone into coming
and buying expensive gifts.Copy !req
28. You know, that's just us though.Copy !req
29. We're not judging anybody.Copy !req
30. - Why the slam?
- What?Copy !req
31. And you didn't invite any of us?Copy !req
32. We are getting divorced,
Andy!Copy !req
33. This is such a raw time.Copy !req
34. God, baby, you know,
with people's reactions to this,Copy !req
35. I wonder if we made a mistake.Copy !req
36. No, with the messed up laws
in this country,Copy !req
37. I don't want to be married
until everyone can be married.Copy !req
38. You know what, Ryan?Copy !req
39. I talked to the other gay guys,
and we're okay with it.Copy !req
40. We all agreed it's fine
for you to get married.Copy !req
41. No. No, Oscar, not—
Not until everyone can.Copy !req
42. Ryan, I changed my mind.Copy !req
43. I know,
I'm ignoring it, honey,Copy !req
44. 'cause you change your mind
every two seconds.Copy !req
45. No, but I don't feel comfortableCopy !req
46. sleeping with someone
that I'm not married to.Copy !req
47. Well, then let's just take baby steps.Copy !req
48. Let's start dating again.Copy !req
49. Ew, I don't wanna date a divorced guy.Copy !req
50. There's always something wrong with them.Copy !req
51. Okay, fine.
You know what?Copy !req
52. This actually isn't amicable at all,Copy !req
53. and we actually do need people
to take sides.Copy !req
54. Who's on my side?Copy !req
55. And who is on my side?Copy !req
56. All right, bye.Copy !req
57. - Bye.
- Let's go.Copy !req
58. Just a minute!Copy !req
59. It sounds like fun to me.Copy !req
60. It's not technically a 3D movie,
but I have glasses,Copy !req
61. so we could wear them, see what we see.Copy !req
62. Okay, well, let me know what you think.Copy !req
63. Okay, well,Copy !req
64. the way I was phrasing that would implyCopy !req
65. that we would go together.Copy !req
66. Oh.Copy !req
67. Oh, no, no, Michael.
I'm not up for a movie.Copy !req
68. Okay.Copy !req
69. Okay.Copy !req
70. - How long do we have to wait?
- For what?Copy !req
71. You broke up with A.J.
Weeks ago.Copy !req
72. Don't you have a sales call to go on?Copy !req
73. I don't understand.
I really don't, I mean...Copy !req
74. We know we're gonna
start dating—why not now?Copy !req
75. - We don't know that.
- Sure we do.Copy !req
76. Why is it such a certaintyCopy !req
77. that we're supposed to be together?Copy !req
78. Why does the sun rise in the morning?Copy !req
79. Why do magnets stick together?Copy !req
80. Because everybody says so.
Everybody.Copy !req
81. Michael, I can't keep getting
into a situationCopy !req
82. where I date whoever I'm working with.Copy !req
83. Well, you can understand that.Copy !req
84. Yeah, I understand.
I just don't agree.Copy !req
85. Well, you don't have to agree.Copy !req
86. Yes, I do.Copy !req
87. No, you don't.Copy !req
88. Yes, I do.Copy !req
89. No, you can have your own opinion—Copy !req
90. I have my own opinion, and my opinionCopy !req
91. is to disagree with you.Copy !req
92. He's gonna be a lot of fun
to drive around in a car with.Copy !req
93. Ah, you'll get through it, hon.Copy !req
94. Just make a game out of it.Copy !req
95. A funny Jim game.Copy !req
96. That's it?
That's all I get?Copy !req
97. Even after all the hard work
I put intoCopy !req
98. celebrating your talent today.Copy !req
99. All right, what'd you do?Copy !req
100. Well, those things
that you consider doodlesCopy !req
101. I consider art.Copy !req
102. Where'd you put it?Copy !req
103. - Where'd I put what?
- Let's go.Copy !req
104. Oh, sorry, gotta go.Copy !req
105. - Say it. Where?
- Okay, fine.Copy !req
106. Three hints: one,
when you're getting colder,Copy !req
107. you're really getting warmer.Copy !req
108. - The fridge.
- Two!Copy !req
109. You have a better chance
if you think Bob Vance.Copy !req
110. The fridge, got it.Copy !req
111. - And the final clue...
- Let's go!Copy !req
112. You know what?
Just think about it.Copy !req
113. - You'll be fine.
- Bye.Copy !req
114. Holly is ruining
Michael's life.Copy !req
115. He thinks she's so special.Copy !req
116. And she's so not.Copy !req
117. Her personality is like a three,Copy !req
118. her sense of humor is a two,Copy !req
119. her ears are like a seven and a four.Copy !req
120. Add it all up, and what do you get?Copy !req
121. 16.Copy !req
122. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40.Copy !req
123. It's nuts.Copy !req
124. Cheer up.
We made a sale.Copy !req
125. Just drive faster.
I wanna get back.Copy !req
126. Well, I'm going the speed limit, so...Copy !req
127. Okay, fine.Copy !req
128. My feelings don't matter to you.Copy !req
129. What matters to you
is your precious speed limit.Copy !req
130. Someone's in a bad mood.Copy !req
131. No, I'm not.Copy !req
132. I'm not in a bad mood.Copy !req
133. I'm not, Jim.
Hello?Copy !req
134. Okay, fine, ignore me.Copy !req
135. Have it your way.Copy !req
136. Let's just talk about you.Copy !req
137. As always.Copy !req
138. Sex different after the baby, Jim?Copy !req
139. All right, let me turn on some music.Copy !req
140. - I need to pee!
- No, you don't.Copy !req
141. Yeah, I do.
My word against yours.Copy !req
142. All right, well,
we'll be there in ten minutes.Copy !req
143. What part of "I need to pee"
do you not understand?Copy !req
144. I'm upset, my bladder is full,Copy !req
145. there is no telling
what I might do, right now,Copy !req
146. all over the inside of your
precious little car.Copy !req
147. All right, well, if I see a gas station,Copy !req
148. - I'll pull over.
- Well, I hope I make it.Copy !req
149. Hello?Copy !req
150. Hi, Jim, it's Helene.Copy !req
151. Hey, Helene.
Is everything okay?Copy !req
152. Everything's fine.
Baby's fine.Copy !req
153. She has a tiny fever.
I'm taking her for a checkup.Copy !req
154. Nothing to worry about, uh...Copy !req
155. Okay.Copy !req
156. A tiny thing.
I locked her in the car.Copy !req
157. - What?
- She's smiling. She's happy.Copy !req
158. - Oh, my God.
- Jim, I—
- Jim...Copy !req
159. - Oh, my God.
- I don't have a spare key.Copy !req
160. Just—just stay there.Copy !req
161. I'll be there in one second.Copy !req
162. Michael!Copy !req
163. Michael!Copy !req
164. Excuse me, sir, there's a—Copy !req
165. There's a guy in the bathroom.Copy !req
166. He's coming out, but I have to go,Copy !req
167. 'cause it's an emergency.Copy !req
168. Will you just tell him to call the office?Copy !req
169. Just call—
Call the office.Copy !req
170. Thank you! Please?Copy !req
171. Hello?Copy !req
172. - This is Pam.
- Hey, it's me.Copy !req
173. So, uh, don't worry.
Everything's okay.Copy !req
174. - What's wrong?
- Nothing, absolutely nothing.Copy !req
175. But you're not holding a cup of
coffee or anything, are you?Copy !req
176. - Jim, what?
- Uh... okay.Copy !req
177. So Cece had a little bit of a fever.Copy !req
178. And your mom also locked her in the car.Copy !req
179. - Oh, God. What?
- No, no, no, it's okay.Copy !req
180. So Cece's with daddy now,Copy !req
181. and she is laughing and she's happy,Copy !req
182. and we're on our way to see Dr. Barbara.Copy !req
183. Okay, so she's okay?Copy !req
184. Yes, and your mom got
a very well-deserved day off.Copy !req
185. So here's the thing, though.Copy !req
186. I left Michael at the gas stationCopy !req
187. - on Bennett.
- Understood.Copy !req
188. And his wallet and phone are
on the seat next to me.Copy !req
189. Got it.Copy !req
190. I will put out an A.P.B.Copy !req
191. Otherwise known as an "Ask Pam Beesly."Copy !req
192. - Did the phone cut out?
- Nope.Copy !req
193. All right, just call me after the doctor.Copy !req
194. - Okay.
- All right, bye.Copy !req
195. Bye.Copy !req
196. I know, I know.Copy !req
197. You have a phone policy.
I understand.Copy !req
198. But this is an emergency
because my friend isn't here,Copy !req
199. and I'm worried that he has been abducted.Copy !req
200. - No.
- And—and—Copy !req
201. No, he ditched you, man.
I saw him drive away.Copy !req
202. There's no way he ditched me.Copy !req
203. There's no way that happened.
He's my—okay.Copy !req
204. May I please just use your phone? Please.Copy !req
205. - Just make it quick.
- Thank you.Copy !req
206. Okay, I will make it quick.Copy !req
207. I will make it very quick.Copy !req
208. And you don't have my numbers
on speed dial.Copy !req
209. Aah, okay, what is it?Copy !req
210. - You don't know.
- Oh, co—come—Copy !req
211. - You don't.
- You know what?Copy !req
212. I could dial 411, get Jim's number...Copy !req
213. He left you here on purpose, all right?Copy !req
214. I saw it.Copy !req
215. He just drove away.Copy !req
216. Today was not the day for Jim
to pull a little prank on me.Copy !req
217. I'm not in the mood.
Yesterday if he had done this,Copy !req
218. I would've been laughing my butt off.Copy !req
219. Actually, this is good.
This is a blessing.Copy !req
220. A blessing in disguise.Copy !req
221. I am going to take this opportunityCopy !req
222. to go walkabout.Copy !req
223. Good, good.Copy !req
224. No, get away.Copy !req
225. No. That's enough.Copy !req
226. Okay.Copy !req
227. It's the gas station on Bennett street?Copy !req
228. - Yeah.
- You know what?Copy !req
229. Why don't you stay and I'll go?Copy !req
230. Oh, no, no, no,
I'll be fine.Copy !req
231. It's kind of a sketchy
neighborhood, though.Copy !req
232. I better come along.Copy !req
233. Problem solved, everyone.Copy !req
234. Space Orphan and Princess NincompoopCopy !req
235. are off to rescue Michael.Copy !req
236. Unbelievable.
I'm going.Copy !req
237. You drive.
I got a car full of fox meat.Copy !req
238. Hey, nice doodle, Pam.Copy !req
239. Oh, my gosh, I completely
forgot about that.Copy !req
240. Yeah. I'm gonna give you
a hint of where it is.Copy !req
241. - It's on the refrig—
- Frigerator. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
242. Cute.Copy !req
243. Very funny, everyone.Copy !req
244. Who wrote captions under my doodle?Copy !req
245. I'm not even kidding.
They're pretty good.Copy !req
246. - Which one in particular?
- Yeah, which one?Copy !req
247. Well, the first one has a surprise factor.Copy !req
248. "I'm a suck-suck-suckety Sabre."Copy !req
249. Boo-yah!Copy !req
250. No. No, no.Copy !req
251. No, no, no.Copy !req
252. But, uh,
I suppose the second oneCopy !req
253. is the better written line.Copy !req
254. - You suppose?
- What's it say?Copy !req
255. "I'm supposed to be wearing red gloves,Copy !req
256. but my color cartridge portal
got jammed again."Copy !req
257. Okay. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
258. - Gloves.
- Keep it real.Copy !req
259. You guys, if I knew you wanted
to do a caption contest,Copy !req
260. I would have drawn something
more challenging.Copy !req
261. - And I will take you all down.
- You?Copy !req
262. I've been reading
the comics to my daughterCopy !req
263. since she was three years old.Copy !req
264. Not once have I used the real
captions to Family Circus.Copy !req
265. That crazy family is hilarious
to her for one reason—Copy !req
266. Me.Copy !req
267. Oh, it is onCopy !req
268. like Genghis Khan
wearing Sean John in Bhutan.Copy !req
269. Yes. You guys,
I have the perfect idea.Copy !req
270. Okay, it'll just take me ten minutes.Copy !req
271. - Whoo-hoo!
- All right.Copy !req
272. I want to do it.Copy !req
273. I'm all for unbridled
creativity in the workplace—Copy !req
274. Within limits.Copy !req
275. But bashing our own company?Copy !req
276. By all means, think outside the box.Copy !req
277. But stay pretty close to
the original margins of the boxCopy !req
278. because a box is a pretty neat thing.Copy !req
279. Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair,Copy !req
280. facial type: marsupial.Copy !req
281. He answers to Michael,
Michael G. Scott,Copy !req
282. Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox,
The Incredible Mr. Fox.Copy !req
283. - Yeah, he just left.
- Which way did he go?Copy !req
284. Hey, hey, hey, hey, let me answer this.Copy !req
285. Stupid question.
He went back to the office,Copy !req
286. obviously, which is that way.Copy !req
287. Oh, really?Copy !req
288. You don't think he walked by that bakeryCopy !req
289. just for the smell of it?Copy !req
290. She's right.
He went that way.Copy !req
291. All right.Copy !req
292. Don't get a swelled head.
You're no tracker.Copy !req
293. Let's ride.Copy !req
294. Hey, you guys.
Listen to me.Copy !req
295. Don't get hung up on just one girl,Copy !req
296. because there are a lot
of other girls out there.Copy !req
297. Look over there.
See?Copy !req
298. They look cute.Copy !req
299. Hello.Copy !req
300. You guys are so beautiful.Copy !req
301. You're so colorful.Copy !req
302. I wish I could understand you.Copy !req
303. That's a metaphor, I guess.Copy !req
304. You are disgusting.Copy !req
305. You'll never find love.Copy !req
306. Lecch.Copy !req
307. Do you think she needs more time,Copy !req
308. or it's just never gonna happen?Copy !req
309. I'm being serious.
Seriously.Copy !req
310. Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.Copy !req
311. Has Michael checked in?Copy !req
312. - Oh, hey, Dwight.
- I asked you a question.Copy !req
313. - No, he hasn't.
- Okay, bye.Copy !req
314. No, wait, um, hey, while you're out,Copy !req
315. could you pick up some paper
towels and chocolate syrup?Copy !req
316. We have ice cream, so I thought we could...Copy !req
317. Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.Copy !req
318. - Yum.
- This is a manhunt,Copy !req
319. slash rescue mission.Copy !req
320. You mean, picking up Michael?Copy !req
321. You know what I mean.
Don't minimalize it.Copy !req
322. Okay, I just—Copy !req
323. When you're done,
or any time it's convenient,Copy !req
324. I just thought since you're out—Copy !req
325. Pam, I'm obviously
gonna get that stuff for you,Copy !req
326. so just shut up.
God.Copy !req
327. Okay, well, it wasn't ob—Copy !req
328. No word from Michael.Copy !req
329. Hey, guys, I'm finished.Copy !req
330. Oh!Copy !req
331. If it's caveman on a golf course, quit,Copy !req
332. 'cause I got this.Copy !req
333. Oops, I forgot my clubs.Copy !req
334. I wonder what she drew.Copy !req
335. Soon, I'll know.Copy !req
336. Tada.Copy !req
337. Okay, it's two giant dogs
with two giant palm treesCopy !req
338. on a regular-size island.Copy !req
339. - Oh, I got one.
- Yeah?Copy !req
340. - Yes.
- Okay, I'm sorry,Copy !req
341. but I'm gonna have to shut this down.Copy !req
342. - Boo.
- Why?Copy !req
343. Unless we can all agree
to some ground rules.Copy !req
344. It's either that or I can fax this to JoCopy !req
345. and let her decide how to proceed.Copy !req
346. Gabe, tell us your stupid rulesCopy !req
347. so we can start the game.Copy !req
348. Number one, and this should be obvious,Copy !req
349. no captions that insult
the company we work for.Copy !req
350. Irony is such a critical—Copy !req
351. Number two, no pop culture references.Copy !req
352. Seriously?Copy !req
353. Well, I think we can all agreeCopy !req
354. they tend to alienate those
who don't get the reference,Copy !req
355. making them feel like "the other."Copy !req
356. Wrap it up, Gabe.Copy !req
357. Okay, final thing, and this is a fun one,Copy !req
358. instead of writing the caption
directly under the picture,Copy !req
359. let's all try using Sticky Quips.Copy !req
360. All right?
New from Dunder Mifflin-Sabre.Copy !req
361. Sticky Quips are fun,
they're safe, they're handy.Copy !req
362. I like to use Sticky Quips
as regular post-it notesCopy !req
363. when I'm in a fun mood.Copy !req
364. Not every day.Copy !req
365. Go get 'em.
Start quipping.Copy !req
366. Pam, I think
I'm gonna send you an I.M.Copy !req
367. Oh, okay.Copy !req
368. Send me one too.Copy !req
369. Yeah, yeah, yeah, put me on that.Copy !req
370. - C.C.
- Ditto.Copy !req
371. Sticky Quips.Copy !req
372. Make your memos talk.Copy !req
373. Great work, Sue, but don't rest
on your laurels.Copy !req
374. Your best work's still ahead of you.Copy !req
375. Call me at 4:00 to discuss
that new client.Copy !req
376. You're performing exceptionally here,Copy !req
377. and your employee review
will reflect that.Copy !req
378. Helps if you have really
small handwriting.Copy !req
379. Hello.Copy !req
380. I would like a hot dog, please.Copy !req
381. Now, I don't have any money,Copy !req
382. so here is what
I would like to do.Copy !req
383. I leave you here with my watch,Copy !req
384. and I come back later
and I pay for the hotdog.Copy !req
385. I'm not a pawn shop.Copy !req
386. Well, I understand that,
but this is a $45 watch.Copy !req
387. Wow.Copy !req
388. With that, I could buy...Copy !req
389. Half the menu.Copy !req
390. I can't just go giving away hotdogs.Copy !req
391. All right.Copy !req
392. What do you do with the hotdogs
that you don't sell?Copy !req
393. Throw 'em away.Copy !req
394. Well, okay, instead of
throwing them all away later,Copy !req
395. why don't you just throw
one away now into my mouth.Copy !req
396. No.Copy !req
397. Okay.
You've just lost my business.Copy !req
398. Hey.Copy !req
399. Hey, you were in there forever.Copy !req
400. There's too many brands.
Where's Holly?Copy !req
401. She wandered off like an idiot.Copy !req
402. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
403. What are you doing?Copy !req
404. Oh, just changing my cell phone plan.Copy !req
405. Okay. Okay.
Here you go.Copy !req
406. I'll take my free stress ball too now.Copy !req
407. Sure thing.
Here you go, miss—Copy !req
408. Okay, Fanny Smellmore.Copy !req
409. - Real original.
- What?Copy !req
410. You know what? Say hi
to Orville Tootenbacher for me.Copy !req
411. Tootenbacher.Copy !req
412. Orville Tootenbacher,Copy !req
413. that's Michael's
millionaire character that...Copy !req
414. Farts popcorn.Copy !req
415. Of course. He was here.Copy !req
416. She's the key. Amazing.Copy !req
417. Holly.Copy !req
418. Hey, where would you like to go next?Copy !req
419. Holly?Copy !req
420. Are their egg rolls really that big?Copy !req
421. Oh, boy.
That was yummy.Copy !req
422. Thank you so much.Copy !req
423. You know what? I think
I left my wallet in my car.Copy !req
424. Do you mind if I run out and get it?Copy !req
425. - No problem.
- Okay.Copy !req
426. I'll be right back.Copy !req
427. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
428. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
429. I don't have my wallet.
And I was...Copy !req
430. I was gonna try to dine and dash,Copy !req
431. and that was stupid,Copy !req
432. and I realize I can't do that
to you fine people.Copy !req
433. So you can't pay for your food?Copy !req
434. Well, I can, but I will have
to come back later tonightCopy !req
435. and pay you.Copy !req
436. But the point is
I did the right thing.Copy !req
437. You did not.Copy !req
438. You have no money,Copy !req
439. but you dined, and you dined so much.Copy !req
440. Well, the number three
is not such a giant feast.Copy !req
441. You got a doggie bag.Copy !req
442. This is for some dogs that I met.Copy !req
443. Look, I came back in
because I intend to pay.Copy !req
444. No, you are already too unreliable.Copy !req
445. Mr. Chu!Copy !req
446. Okay, all right.
You know what?Copy !req
447. You're trying to steal food from us?Copy !req
448. I am not.Copy !req
449. I just have had a bad day,Copy !req
450. and I...
Okay.Copy !req
451. I'll be back later with the money.Copy !req
452. I'm just gonna leave right now.Copy !req
453. You can't.
We'll stop you.Copy !req
454. Well, I think
I can get through the door.Copy !req
455. Excuse me.
Do you speak English?Copy !req
456. We are looking for a man,Copy !req
457. Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian.Copy !req
458. It's Michael!Copy !req
459. He just left.Copy !req
460. - You knew!
- What?Copy !req
461. No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll.Copy !req
462. What—what are you implying?Copy !req
463. Uncanny.
Put a pin in that.Copy !req
464. Which way did he go?Copy !req
465. That guy!
When he leave here,Copy !req
466. which way did he go?
We looking for him.Copy !req
467. This way, this way, this way?
I don't know.Copy !req
468. Do you know?Copy !req
469. I think he was heading downtown.Copy !req
470. He's heading downtown.Copy !req
471. So what, no one's even gonna try?Copy !req
472. - Guess not.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
473. My rules could not possibly
have been that oppressive.Copy !req
474. You crushed our spirits, Gabe.Copy !req
475. Congrats.
You're a big man, huh?Copy !req
476. Takes a lot to destroy the creativityCopy !req
477. of a whole group of people.Copy !req
478. Hey...Copy !req
479. Click the "X".Copy !req
480. - I'm clicking!
- In the box.Copy !req
481. I am clicking.Copy !req
482. Woman, you've had a computer for years!Copy !req
483. - Phyllis!
- Too late!Copy !req
484. Oh. Ha.
An I.M. chat.Copy !req
485. Very clever.
I'll just print that out.Copy !req
486. Come on, guys.
Grow up.Copy !req
487. I don't want to be your babysitter.Copy !req
488. Ooh.Copy !req
489. "Darn it, Bob,
I told you not to buyCopy !req
490. a Sabre brand lifeboat."Copy !req
491. - Nice!
- No, not nice.Copy !req
492. Terrible.Copy !req
493. Doesn't even include
the fact that they're dogs.Copy !req
494. - Do the next one.
- "Wake up, Fred.Copy !req
495. "The power cord on your Sabre printerCopy !req
496. "shocked you into a coma,Copy !req
497. and you're dreaming you're a dog
on a desert island."Copy !req
498. Dreaming he's a dog on an island.Copy !req
499. Uh, excuse me, excuse me.Copy !req
500. How does the speaker know what
the guy in the coma is dreaming?Copy !req
501. Well, if you think it's so easy, Gabe,Copy !req
502. why don't you try it?Copy !req
503. Okay, no problem.Copy !req
504. Off the top of my head, um,Copy !req
505. "That's the last time
I buy cruise ship ticketsCopy !req
506. from Ti-cat-masters."Copy !req
507. Boo.Copy !req
508. Okay, fine.
How 'bout this then?Copy !req
509. Um...Copy !req
510. "You don't have to sniff
my rear end anymore, Bob.Copy !req
511. I'm the only one here."
Ha.Copy !req
512. That's tasteless, Gabe.Copy !req
513. - Tasteless?
- Tasteless.Copy !req
514. More tasteless than this?Copy !req
515. "Is that a palm tree,
or did Gabe get skinner?Copy !req
516. Either way, let's pee on it."Copy !req
517. Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we have a winner.Copy !req
518. - Yes.
- Yes. Well done!Copy !req
519. Whose is it?
Who wrote that?Copy !req
520. Yeah.
Who wrote it?Copy !req
521. Please. It was easy once I decidedCopy !req
522. I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.Copy !req
523. Who wouldn't want to piss on Gabe?Copy !req
524. Maybe that's not the best one.Copy !req
525. - Keep reading.
- Uh, it was.Copy !req
526. Maybe it wasn't.Copy !req
527. "Oh, thank God.
I had a horrible nightmareCopy !req
528. that I was stuck in America with Gabe."Copy !req
529. Oh!Copy !req
530. You know, that's not the one
I was thinking of.Copy !req
531. - Keep going.
- "I know what it smells like,Copy !req
532. "but I didn't roll in anything.Copy !req
533. It's from listening to all
of Gabe's bull."Copy !req
534. Oh!Copy !req
535. "Isn't this the perfect
romantic getaway, Erin?Copy !req
536. "Sitting on a desert island
in dog costumes—Copy !req
537. I'm Gabe and I'm a weirdo."Copy !req
538. That's pretty good.Copy !req
539. "Gabe's mom.
Hmm...Copy !req
540. "Gabe's mom?
Wait! Tall woman?Copy !req
541. "Looks like Gabe?Copy !req
542. Yeah, I banged her."Copy !req
543. Yeah, there we go.Copy !req
544. Where did he go, Holly?Copy !req
545. I have no idea.Copy !req
546. Do you see a little clown
that you wanna follow, huh?Copy !req
547. Is there a little bird
that's chirping to you,Copy !req
548. "This way, this way."Copy !req
549. I don't know.Copy !req
550. Okay. Close your eyes.Copy !req
551. We need you to think.Copy !req
552. What is Michael seeing right now?Copy !req
553. Can you tell him that we miss him?Copy !req
554. Michael, we're coming for you!Copy !req
555. Will you stop?Copy !req
556. There have been a few coincidences—Copy !req
557. That's all!Copy !req
558. All right, then.Copy !req
559. - Someone propose a plan.
- Okay.Copy !req
560. - We fan out—
- Not you, Erin.Copy !req
561. Stop looking at me like that.Copy !req
562. Okay, look, let's just
go up somewhere highCopy !req
563. and see if we could spot him
on the street below.Copy !req
564. That is the stupidest idea
I've ever heard. No.Copy !req
565. Tap into your common mind and
tell us what he would do next.Copy !req
566. Look, I'm not playing.
I'm gonna go look for him.Copy !req
567. - Good. We don't need her.
- Right.Copy !req
568. I can do this on my own.
I can think like Michael.Copy !req
569. All right...Copy !req
570. I'm deep below the ocean's
surface in a submarine.Copy !req
571. A torpedo's coming right at me.Copy !req
572. No. Damn it, that's just
my own imagination.Copy !req
573. Maybe he's bowling.Copy !req
574. Michael?Copy !req
575. Hi.Copy !req
576. How did you know
I was up here?Copy !req
577. What are you doing up here?Copy !req
578. I got turned around.Copy !req
579. I thought I could see
Dunder Mifflin.Copy !req
580. Dunder Mifflin?Copy !req
581. Yeah.Copy !req
582. Wow!Copy !req
583. I just miss you so much.Copy !req
584. I missed you too.Copy !req
585. Really?Copy !req
586. Yeah.Copy !req
587. Can I kiss you?Copy !req
588. - Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
589. I had never believed in soulmates becauseCopy !req
590. it's so scary to think of having a soulCopy !req
591. that flies around outside your bodyCopy !req
592. after you die.Copy !req
593. That's close to ghost territory.Copy !req
594. But to have someone who knows you so wellCopy !req
595. that they know your thoughts—Copy !req
596. I mean, I get that.Copy !req
597. Think of the magic tricks alone
that you could do.Copy !req
598. I'm not sure that having
a soulmate is necessaryCopy !req
599. for two people to be happy together.Copy !req
600. But I can see how if you did find that...Copy !req
601. Wow.Copy !req