1. Got it.Copy !req
2. Okay, let's go.
I'm freezing.Copy !req
3. People, wait, wait, wait.
Come back, come back.Copy !req
4. One fun one.
We're gonna do a fun one.Copy !req
5. One Charlie's angels.
One. Let's go.Copy !req
6. Okay, this is just
a Christmas cardCopy !req
7. from your paper supplier.Copy !req
8. No one's putting this
on their fridge.Copy !req
9. Ooh, I got it, you guys,
how 'bout this...Copy !req
10. Michael, what if all the boys
are on one side,Copy !req
11. all the girls are on the other.Copy !req
12. The boys are, like,
"why, I oughta,"Copy !req
13. and the girls are, like,
"let's go shopping"?Copy !req
14. Let's just jump in the air.Copy !req
15. That's it!
That's a picture! Yes!Copy !req
16. Jump in the air.
We're gonna jump in the air.Copy !req
17. - Here we go.
- Okay, one...Copy !req
18. Two... Three...
Not everyone jumped.Copy !req
19. Okay, everybody jump
in the air this time, please.Copy !req
20. Here we go.Copy !req
21. One, two, three.Copy !req
22. Still some people not jumping.Copy !req
23. You gotta be kidding me.
Who isn't jumping?Copy !req
24. I'll tell you who.
Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley,Copy !req
25. - Angela, and Oscar.
- I am jumping.Copy !req
26. You are?
Let me see you jump.Copy !req
27. Oh, my God.Copy !req
28. This is a store-bought camera.Copy !req
29. This isn't one of those special
military-grade camerasCopy !req
30. that would be able
to capture that.Copy !req
31. I'm freezing.Copy !req
32. Um, also, Erin is jumping
way too early.Copy !req
33. She's on the ground
by "three."Copy !req
34. I didn't want to miss it.Copy !req
35. Well, if we all jump
really high,Copy !req
36. we'll be in the air longer.
Do that.Copy !req
37. Here's a question
nobody's asking...Copy !req
38. - Is this worth it?
- Don't answer that.Copy !req
39. People, listen up
and listen good.Copy !req
40. We need to just get one pictureCopy !req
41. where we're all in the air
at the same time. Yes?Copy !req
42. - Why?
- I believe in us.Copy !req
43. - We can do this.
- Okay, on three,Copy !req
44. everyone in the air.Copy !req
45. Three, two, one, zero.Copy !req
46. We didn't get it.Copy !req
47. I'm the office
administrator now,Copy !req
48. which means I'm basically
being paidCopy !req
49. to be head
of the party planning committee.Copy !req
50. The first thing I did as head...
I shut it down.Copy !req
51. At its worst it was
a toxic political clubCopy !req
52. used to make others
feel miserable and left out.Copy !req
53. At its best it planned parties.Copy !req
54. It hardly looks fake.
It's so lush.Copy !req
55. Why does it smell real?Copy !req
56. Ah... Good one.Copy !req
57. Oh, ho, ho, ho!Copy !req
58. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.Copy !req
59. Merry Christmas,
little children!Copy !req
60. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
61. How's everybody doing today?Copy !req
62. - Good.
- Good.Copy !req
63. How's the party coming along?Copy !req
64. - Great.
- Are we over budget?Copy !req
65. - Nope.
- No? Good.Copy !req
66. Did anyone get drunk already?Copy !req
67. Not yet.Copy !req
68. Good for you.Copy !req
69. Angela, lay it on me...
What's the problem?Copy !req
70. Nothing.
Should be fun.Copy !req
71. So, Stanley, how big is the bugCopy !req
72. up your butt today?Copy !req
73. Pam got those
sugar-free cookies I like.Copy !req
74. I'm doing fine.Copy !req
75. All right, well,
I will be in my officeCopy !req
76. making toys
for the good children.Copy !req
77. Andy?Copy !req
78. - Yeah?
- What you got?Copy !req
79. It's all good, Santa.Copy !req
80. Well, that's a relief.Copy !req
81. Santa's gonna take
some much-needed free time.Copy !req
82. All right. Good!Copy !req
83. My kids are growing up.Copy !req
84. As a boss, I look at that
and I say great.Copy !req
85. It is exactly what a boss
would hope would happenCopy !req
86. because that's what I want.Copy !req
87. That's what every boss wants,
is a...Copy !req
88. is a wonderful Christmas
with no drama.Copy !req
89. It's present time, you guys.Copy !req
90. Happy holidaysCopy !req
91. from your friends at Sabre.Copy !req
92. We just want to say
how grateful we are.Copy !req
93. Sabre is actively looking
for ways to involve meCopy !req
94. as minority executive trainee.Copy !req
95. So I suggested choosing
the annual Christmas giftCopy !req
96. to the employees.Copy !req
97. And they said,
"oh, yes. Perfect.Copy !req
98. Thank you, Kelly. Finally,
something for you to do."Copy !req
99. It's a hello kitty
laptop sleeve.Copy !req
100. Hello kitty's for girls.Copy !req
101. Nashua got mp3 players.Copy !req
102. Yeah, I don't even have
a laptop.Copy !req
103. I wonder if these presents
would be underCopy !req
104. as much scrutiny
if I were white.Copy !req
105. - Wow...
- Come on.Copy !req
106. I said "I wonder."
I didn't say "I think."Copy !req
107. Kelly, I thought we agreed
on fleece blankets.Copy !req
108. Blankets?
What am I, five?Copy !req
109. Erin and I make
great use of ours.Copy !req
110. Yes, Erin and I
are still dating.Copy !req
111. Why do you ask me so often
if we're still dating?Copy !req
112. I'll take one of those
pink pouches.Copy !req
113. I feel good today.
My little girl Jada?Copy !req
114. It's my turn to have her
for Christmas this year.Copy !req
115. Two years ago I had her,
and we had the best time.Copy !req
116. I TiVoed her favorite shows,
some things I've never heard of.Copy !req
117. iCarly...Copy !req
118. You know who's funny
on that show?Copy !req
119. The friend
with the video camera.Copy !req
120. He's got a nice way of talking.Copy !req
121. Hey, it's snowing.Copy !req
122. Oh, my God!Copy !req
123. It's the first snowfall
of Christmas.Copy !req
124. Is that just so magical
for you, little girl?Copy !req
125. Can you not wait
to have a hot chocolate,Copy !req
126. and cuddle up with papa
and tell him aboutCopy !req
127. all your Christmas dreams, hmm?Copy !req
128. It's not even a real snow.Copy !req
129. Look, it's a dusting.Copy !req
130. Pitiful.Copy !req
131. Hey, Dwight.Copy !req
132. Whoo!Copy !req
133. Damn it, Jim, you cannot
throw snowballs in here!Copy !req
134. Well, it's not a snowball,
'cause it's only a dusting.Copy !req
135. Right?Copy !req
136. Look at that.
There's a pebble in there.Copy !req
137. You could have killed me!Copy !req
138. Oh, don't be such a baby.Copy !req
139. Yeah, who's a little girl now?Copy !req
140. You apologize to me right now.Copy !req
141. You've got something
on your nose.Copy !req
142. You apologize right now.Copy !req
143. - No.
- Very well,Copy !req
144. then I challenge you
to a snowball fightCopy !req
145. on the first real snow
of winter.Copy !req
146. You got it.Copy !req
147. That sounds awesome.
Can we all do it?Copy !req
148. No, Andy,
it's a snowball fight.Copy !req
149. It's not fun.
Go get your own thing.Copy !req
150. Beat it.Copy !req
151. Jim, let go.
Let go.Copy !req
152. Angela, are you bringing
your new boyfriendCopy !req
153. to the party?Copy !req
154. I wouldn't
subject Robert to that.Copy !req
155. He's a very busy senator.Copy !req
156. State senator.Copy !req
157. I would not expect you
to know what it's likeCopy !req
158. to date someone
in the public arena.Copy !req
159. Who are you dating
in the public arena?Copy !req
160. The senator.Copy !req
161. Oh, right.
The state senator.Copy !req
162. We went to a picnic thrown
my the comptroller's wife.Copy !req
163. Oh, that would be impressive...Copy !req
164. If anyone knew
what a comptroller was.Copy !req
165. Well...Copy !req
166. Do you have any idea
how many photographers there areCopy !req
167. at a ribbon-cutting ceremony?Copy !req
168. I do. Two.Copy !req
169. "Angela..."Copy !req
170. "Over here, Angela..."Copy !req
171. "Here. Look here!"Copy !req
172. Before we kick off the party,Copy !req
173. I just want to remind everyoneCopy !req
174. that an office party
is just that...Copy !req
175. - Yeah!
- A party.Copy !req
176. It's not an excuse
to get really drunkCopy !req
177. or confront someone
or have a cathartic experienceCopy !req
178. - of any kind.
- Pam?Copy !req
179. - Pam?
- Pam?Copy !req
180. Wow, there are questions
to that. Okay.Copy !req
181. Um, you know what,
no questions.Copy !req
182. Last item on the agenda,Copy !req
183. Toby would like
to make an announcement.Copy !req
184. - Hi, guys.
- Hi.Copy !req
185. I just wanted
to let you know thatCopy !req
186. I'll be taking
a leave of absenceCopy !req
187. starting next week.Copy !req
188. Because you've been on the lam?Copy !req
189. Because the "boring police"
have been after you,Copy !req
190. and they finally
caught up with you?Copy !req
191. No, the opposite.Copy !req
192. I was actually selected
to be a jurorCopy !req
193. on a very high-profile case.Copy !req
194. Yes, the case of the horrible
red-headed sad sack.Copy !req
195. And the verdict...
it was Toby.Copy !req
196. And the sentence, death.
Death to Toby!Copy !req
197. Death to Toby!Copy !req
198. Okay, that's hurtful talk.
We've talked about that.Copy !req
199. You know, I don't interrupt
your announcements.Copy !req
200. You leave these huge pauses
in your sentences.Copy !req
201. - What do you expect me to do?
- What's the case, Toby?Copy !req
202. Well, I really can't
talk about it,Copy !req
203. but it's a very
high-profile case.Copy !req
204. - Is it criminal?
- Yes.Copy !req
205. - Have we heard of it?
- I don't know.Copy !req
206. Is it the middle school
teacher who triedCopy !req
207. to turn her foreign exchange
student into a sex slave?Copy !req
208. - Come on.
- Was it the post office guyCopy !req
209. who rubbed his penis
all over the mail?Copy !req
210. Guys, it's a really big deal.Copy !req
211. He's rubbing his neck.
He's rubbing his neck!Copy !req
212. - He's rubbing his neck.
- Oh, Scranton strangler!Copy !req
213. I can neither confirm
nor deny this.Copy !req
214. Let's just say I'll be
up to my neck in jury duty.Copy !req
215. That was the worst joke ever.Copy !req
216. Corporate will be
sending someone elseCopy !req
217. to take my place.Copy !req
218. Okay, good-bye.
Good-bye.Copy !req
219. Uh, Holly flax... She comes
from the Nashua branch.Copy !req
220. What? What?Copy !req
221. Yeah, she'll be starting
next week.Copy !req
222. If you have any questions
about the transition,Copy !req
223. just let me know.Copy !req
224. Hold on,
Holly's coming back here?Copy !req
225. - Yeah.
- Guys, who's Holly?Copy !req
226. That is a great question, Erin.Copy !req
227. How do you describe somebody
who is at the same timeCopy !req
228. an old friend,
and was a lover...Copy !req
229. And was a complicated part
of my past,Copy !req
230. and maybe, just maybeCopy !req
231. - a part of my future?
- Wow.Copy !req
232. She's one sassy black lady.Copy !req
233. Holly's coming back, everybody,Copy !req
234. and we have to have a party.Copy !req
235. I'm not sure
the temporary replacementCopy !req
236. of an hr rep
really warrants a party.Copy !req
237. You know what, we'll postpone
this party until then.Copy !req
238. This is too important.
Cancel this one.Copy !req
239. - Dwight, get rid of the tree.
- Okay.Copy !req
240. Cancel.
We're canceling it.Copy !req
241. - No, don't throw them out!
- No, we have to cancel...Copy !req
242. - We can save that.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
243. We're gonna get fresh
for Holly.Copy !req
244. - I bought these.
- These cookies are fine!Copy !req
245. They're not.
Fresh and new.Copy !req
246. Michael, wait.
We don't have...Copy !req
247. We don't have the budget
for another party.Copy !req
248. Well, then, everybody will
chip in... It'll be fine.Copy !req
249. I honestly think you're
idealizing peopleCopy !req
250. here again, Michael.Copy !req
251. I don't think
that's gonna happen.Copy !req
252. You know what, I'll pay for it.Copy !req
253. I'll pay for the party.
This is way too important.Copy !req
254. People, Holly's coming back,Copy !req
255. and this is the most important
Christmas party of my life.Copy !req
256. - So back to work.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
257. Man, I worked hard.
I worked so hard for this!Copy !req
258. I was after corporate
constantly.Copy !req
259. I emailed Joe.
I wrote letters.Copy !req
260. And you know who I end up
owing this toCopy !req
261. is the Scranton strangler.Copy !req
262. Thank you.
Thank you, Scranton strangler.Copy !req
263. I love you!Copy !req
264. You just took
one more person's breath away.Copy !req
265. We have always had
good Christmas parties here,Copy !req
266. as you know,
but they've never been cool.Copy !req
267. The name is bond... Santa bond.Copy !req
268. I'll have an eggnog,
shaken, not stirred.Copy !req
269. Classic Brosnan.Copy !req
270. Santa... Wonderful tradition.
Everybody loves Santa.Copy !req
271. Everybody can't get enough
of the jolly old man.Copy !req
272. But that is a myth,
because you know what,Copy !req
273. he is not necessarily
a big fat guy with a beard.Copy !req
274. He's not necessarily
an old guy.Copy !req
275. No one knows
what the real Santa Claus...Copy !req
276. God! Ow!Copy !req
277. Just stop moving your calves
so much while you're talking.Copy !req
278. Well, this year's
gonna be different.Copy !req
279. We're gonna have fun.
It's not gonna be tacky.Copy !req
280. It's going to be...
You know what,Copy !req
281. the food is going to be
austere.Copy !req
282. It is not going to be
tacky, deli platter food.Copy !req
283. It's not gonna have
a big, fat, gross Santa Claus.Copy !req
284. It's gonna be a cool,
sleek Santa.Copy !req
285. Maybe I'll bring my boyfriend.Copy !req
286. - I'll invite him.
- Okay. Sure.Copy !req
287. I mean, unless
there's any chanceCopy !req
288. there could beCopy !req
289. You never know about the press.Copy !req
290. Well, I only ask
because he's a senator.Copy !req
291. Could he help us
with some parking tickets?Copy !req
292. I don't think
that's appropriate.Copy !req
293. Well, then he's not a senator.Copy !req
294. - Yes, he is.
- Okay.Copy !req
295. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
296. We still doing the gifts today?Copy !req
297. I mean, it is
the Christmas party.Copy !req
298. Well, the classy
Christmas party.Copy !req
299. Yes.
But don't get too excited,Copy !req
300. 'cause I didn't have
a lot of time this year.Copy !req
301. - Me neither. Whew.
- Okay.Copy !req
302. I've been working forever
on Jim's present.Copy !req
303. He always gives me
the best Christmas gifts.Copy !req
304. He'll take a memory
or a private joke,Copy !req
305. and he'll create something
totally unique.Copy !req
306. I love them.Copy !req
307. So this year
I made him something.Copy !req
308. A comic book.Copy !req
309. It stars Jimmy Halpert,
a mild-mannered paper salesmanCopy !req
310. who, while riding his bike
through the forest,Copy !req
311. is bitten by
a radioactive bear...Copy !req
312. becomes a "bear man."
Wreaks havoc on the office.Copy !req
313. It's really good.Copy !req
314. Okay...Copy !req
315. Oh, no, no, no, no!
Fake tree. No!Copy !req
316. - No, it has the little...
- Pam, no, no.Copy !req
317. Holly's coming
from new Hampshire.Copy !req
318. Somebody from new Hampshire
looks at thatCopy !req
319. and thinks it's
a burning cross.Copy !req
320. No, no. I want you to go
and get a real tree.Copy !req
321. Take some money.
Thank you.Copy !req
322. Hi, I'm looking for
Michael Scott.Copy !req
323. Yes, that's me.
Come on in.Copy !req
324. There's nothing classier
than boring jazz music,Copy !req
325. I am here to tell ya.Copy !req
326. And I made a bit
of a judgment call.Copy !req
327. I hired one musician,
because I thought,Copy !req
328. what's better, to hire
an entire quartetCopy !req
329. for half an hour,Copy !req
330. or one bassist
for the entire day?Copy !req
331. Hey, any volunteers
to come with meCopy !req
332. to go buy a Christmas tree?Copy !req
333. I would, but I don't want
to get dirty.Copy !req
334. There might be girls
at the party.Copy !req
335. Why do you always think
that girlsCopy !req
336. are gonna be at the party?Copy !req
337. No one invited girls.
It's just us.Copy !req
338. I will help.
Although my 'brid... My hybrid...Copy !req
339. My Prius hybrid,
won't fit a tree.Copy !req
340. Which is ironic, considering
how many trees it savesCopy !req
341. - on a daily basis.
- Yeah.Copy !req
342. I do, however, have a hookupCopy !req
343. with a dude who has a pickup.Copy !req
344. Oh, do you mean Darryl?
That's a great idea.Copy !req
345. - I'll ask him.
- You know Darryl?Copy !req
346. Yeah. He works here.
We all know him.Copy !req
347. I should come along,
just 'cause he's my...Copy !req
348. You know, he's my hookup.Copy !req
349. Cool.Copy !req
350. Come on, now, Justine, look...Copy !req
351. Listen... Look,
I've been planning this, okay?Copy !req
352. - You cannot do this, Justine.
- I'm not doing it!Copy !req
353. She told me she wants
to have Christmas here.Copy !req
354. - She did?
- Yes.Copy !req
355. She wants to be around family
for Christmas.Copy !req
356. I don't know...Copy !req
357. I thought I was
enough family for my daughter.Copy !req
358. Don't come in, I'm busy.Copy !req
359. It's cool, Darryl,
I'm here too.Copy !req
360. Hey, sorry, I really
didn't want to come in.Copy !req
361. It's just that we have to
go buy a new Christmas tree,Copy !req
362. and we're hoping
we could borrow your truck.Copy !req
363. Uh, no.Copy !req
364. Come on, it'll be fun.Copy !req
365. We could do doughnuts
in the snow on the way back.Copy !req
366. No. Thank you for
your interest in my truck.Copy !req
367. Okay. Sorry.
We'll leave you ale.Copy !req
368. Hey...Copy !req
369. [Sighs you know what,Copy !req
370. I could use a breath
of fresh air.Copy !req
371. Let's do it.Copy !req
372. When Holly gets here,Copy !req
373. I want you to be
very helpful to her.Copy !req
374. I've looked her up online...
There's nothing about her.Copy !req
375. She's made no impression
on the Internet.Copy !req
376. She doesn't need an Internet
presence... You just know.Copy !req
377. Oh...Copy !req
378. - Hey.
- Hi.Copy !req
379. What the hell are you
doing here?Copy !req
380. You're supposed to be
in the courthouse.Copy !req
381. We're on recess.
I came for the party.Copy !req
382. Hi.Copy !req
383. - Hey, everyone.
- Hi, Toby.Copy !req
384. What does the strangler
look like?Copy !req
385. Is he gorgeous?Copy !req
386. He looks gorgeous
in the drawings.Copy !req
387. - Yeah.
- That scowl.Copy !req
388. I can't talk about itCopy !req
389. or I'll get removed
from the jury.Copy !req
390. And then he will come back
here and replace Holly,Copy !req
391. so stop asking him questions.Copy !req
392. I know people are only
this excited to talk to meCopy !req
393. because of the trial.Copy !req
394. But they talk to me
for a while,Copy !req
395. and maybe people realize
I have something to say.Copy !req
396. And then one day,
we're just talking.Copy !req
397. You've reached the voice mail
of Dwight Kurt Schrute.Copy !req
398. Please leave...Copy !req
399. Raaaaugh! Aah!Copy !req
400. Aah! Aah! Aah!Copy !req
401. Stop!Copy !req
402. Oh... Oh!Copy !req
403. I have no feeling
in my fingers or penis.Copy !req
404. But I think it was worth it.Copy !req
405. Aah!Copy !req
406. Um, I was laying
on the ground, defenseless,Copy !req
407. and he just kept throwing 'emCopy !req
408. until he exhausted himself.Copy !req
409. And, uh... Then...Copy !req
410. "How 'bout icing it?
Lol. Dwight."Copy !req
411. - Hi.
- Hello.Copy !req
412. Is there any way I can
get a hand with these, please?Copy !req
413. I'm really sorry,
I can't help you.Copy !req
414. I'm waiting for my boss'
pretty friend to arrive.Copy !req
415. There she is.Copy !req
416. Hey.Copy !req
417. Erin, would you help her,
for God's sake?Copy !req
418. Oh, you're Holly!
Of course.Copy !req
419. Sorry.Copy !req
420. Hello.Copy !req
421. Well, well, well,Copy !req
422. if it isn't Michael Scott.
You old bastard.Copy !req
423. Well, I never thoughtCopy !req
424. I'd see your face
around these parts,Copy !req
425. you old bastard!Copy !req
426. Well, I did show my face
around these parts,Copy !req
427. you old bastard.Copy !req
428. Why, you're some sortaCopy !req
429. wise guy, huh?Copy !req
430. I most certainly am.Copy !req
431. - Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
- Unnnnnngh!Copy !req
432. - D'oh!
- Oh, Homey.Copy !req
433. Okay... Holly's back.Copy !req
434. Hi. Hi.Copy !req
435. Oh, huggy monster!Copy !req
436. Oh, not the huggy monster!Copy !req
437. I don't want to die!Copy !req
438. I don't want to die!
I don't want to die!Copy !req
439. Wow. Well, everybody,Copy !req
440. - you remember Holly.
- Hi.Copy !req
441. Did you bring us anything
from Nashua?Copy !req
442. Oh, yeah. I brought
some maple candy.Copy !req
443. But I have to admit, I got
a little hungry on the drive,Copy !req
444. - and I ate some of them.
- That's adorable.Copy !req
445. - Would you put those out?
- To throw out?Copy !req
446. Or put out, like,
six pieces for everyone?Copy !req
447. Oh, it's so nice to be back.Copy !req
448. It looks beautiful in here.
Super-classy.Copy !req
449. It's like a party
for limousine drivers.Copy !req
450. Well, you came on the day
of our Christmas party.Copy !req
451. Oh, it's fabulous.Copy !req
452. I love what you did!Copy !req
453. Isn't it wonderful?Copy !req
454. We love it here.
Don't you love it?Copy !req
455. All right, let me show you
to your desk.Copy !req
456. I show you to your dayyy-esk!Copy !req
457. Watch out for my guns.Copy !req
458. They're both loaded.Copy !req
459. What kind of guns do you have?Copy !req
460. - Six-shooter?
- Aww...Copy !req
461. This is weird.
I can't believe you're here.Copy !req
462. This feels like you never left.Copy !req
463. - Doesn't it?
- Yeah, kind of. Yeah.Copy !req
464. - Oh, God.
- Oh, and you have a Woody.Copy !req
465. Bah!Copy !req
466. - Oh... I love...
- Aj gave me that.Copy !req
467. Well, that's understandable.
Still raw.Copy !req
468. - Woody your favorite character?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
469. You know who my favorite
character in toy story is?Copy !req
470. - Andy's mom.
- Why?Copy !req
471. Because without Andy's mom,
there's no plot.Copy !req
472. And without any plot,
there is no movie.Copy !req
473. That is a really good point.Copy !req
474. Aj said he hadn't seen any
of the toy story movies.Copy !req
475. - You're kidding me.
- No. I know.Copy !req
476. I'm going, "what?
Are you serious?"Copy !req
477. - What a douche bag!
- Get a life!Copy !req
478. Get a... Yeah.
Good riddance.Copy !req
479. We sat down and we watched
them all in one day.Copy !req
480. Now he's the biggest
toy story fanatic ever.Copy !req
481. - Good for him.
- Next day I found himCopy !req
482. in my bed.Copy !req
483. Really?
That's creepy.Copy !req
484. How did Aj get in your house?Copy !req
485. We live together.Copy !req
486. Oh, you do?Copy !req
487. He had a little note
pinned to himCopy !req
488. that said,
"you've got a friend in me."Copy !req
489. - Yeah, Randy Newman's the best.
- Yeah.Copy !req
490. - I love him.
- Me too.Copy !req
491. Hey, how about this one?Copy !req
492. Ehh, seems a little
full of itself, right?Copy !req
493. Kind of a pretty boy.Copy !req
494. What if we got
a really beat up one,Copy !req
495. like on Charlie brown.Copy !req
496. And we just loved it
for what it is?Copy !req
497. Maybe. I mean...Copy !req
498. No, she be talking
to your mom or something.Copy !req
499. This is my daughter too,
Justine!Copy !req
500. You seem to think...Copy !req
501. Oh...Copy !req
502. Pick a damn tree already.Copy !req
503. Um, hey, Darryl, listen,
it's none of my business,Copy !req
504. but if I couldn't have
Cece for Christmas,Copy !req
505. I'd be really upset too.Copy !req
506. I don't have kids or anything,Copy !req
507. but if my grandmother
ever dies,Copy !req
508. I'm going to kill myself.Copy !req
509. Jada don't want to
spend Christmas with me.Copy !req
510. She told her mom
it wasn't as much fun.Copy !req
511. How could she say that?Copy !req
512. You know, I took her
to the toy storeCopy !req
513. to buy her own presents.Copy !req
514. Well, Darryl, no kid wantsCopy !req
515. to buy their own
Christmas presents.Copy !req
516. Her mom wants me
to take her to mass.Copy !req
517. I guess that's something to do.Copy !req
518. No, you should have her mom doCopy !req
519. the boring Christmas stuff
on her time.Copy !req
520. You should be associated
with the fun parts of Christmas.Copy !req
521. How do I do that?Copy !req
522. Bring her to the party.Copy !req
523. Yeah, we'll have Santa,
and we'll play games with her.Copy !req
524. It'll be a lot of fun.Copy !req
525. Yes!Copy !req
526. You'll be Mr. Christmas
by the end of the night.Copy !req
527. Hey, guys, the tree's here.Copy !req
528. - Hey.
- Nobody hug me...Copy !req
529. I'm covered in tree sap, so...Copy !req
530. Why would someone hug you?Copy !req
531. Hey there, Jada.
Nice to see you again.Copy !req
532. I'm Santa Claus.
Welcome.Copy !req
533. Are you serious?Copy !req
534. It's a sophisticated take.Copy !req
535. He doesn't look
like Santa Claus.Copy !req
536. No, he doesn't.Copy !req
537. I told her Santa would be here.Copy !req
538. Yeah, well, I was told
that Holly would be here,Copy !req
539. single and ready to date.Copy !req
540. - And we all got misled.
- Who told you that?Copy !req
541. Nora Ephron, in every
romantic comedy ever made.Copy !req
542. So is it an open relationship?Copy !req
543. Oh, God, no.Copy !req
544. Well, you're almost 40.
Oh, do you not want kids?Copy !req
545. Oh, I want kids.
I really want kids.Copy !req
546. But Aj and I are
practically engaged.Copy !req
547. We talk about
spending our lives together.Copy !req
548. - So where's the ring?
- Kelly!Copy !req
549. Um, how are you adjusting
to the move?Copy !req
550. Nobody cares about that.Copy !req
551. Look, you have to
make him commit,Copy !req
552. or kick his butt to the curb.Copy !req
553. You guys, I don't think
any of usCopy !req
554. are really qualified to be
giving Holly personal adviceCopy !req
555. about her love life.Copy !req
556. Yeah, I mean, maybe Holly's
not in any positionCopy !req
557. to be shooing guys away.Copy !req
558. I don't get it.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
559. I just...
I don't get it.Copy !req
560. Okay, listen,
I'm gonna tell himCopy !req
561. that if he doesn't propose
by the end of this year,Copy !req
562. we're over.Copy !req
563. - Wow, an ultimatum.
- Yeah.Copy !req
564. It doesn't really seem
like you.Copy !req
565. That is a great idea.
Ultimatums are key.Copy !req
566. Basically, nobody does anything
for me anymoreCopy !req
567. unless I threaten
to kill myself.Copy !req
568. Don't. Stop... Dwight!Copy !req
569. - Dwight, stop!
- Oh, no. Oh, no!Copy !req
570. - Stop!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
571. - Yes, taste my wrath!
- Okay. Okay...Copy !req
572. - You like that?
- Seriously!Copy !req
573. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
574. Yes, I have a wig for every
single person in the office.Copy !req
575. You never know when
you're gonna needCopy !req
576. to bear a passing resemblance
to someone.Copy !req
577. I just want it to stop.Copy !req
578. So cool, right?Copy !req
579. There's no connection betweenCopy !req
580. - the origin story and the quest.
- Okay.Copy !req
581. We need to know
who Jimmy Halpert wasCopy !req
582. before he was bitten
by the bear.Copy !req
583. Otherwise
it's the bear's quest.Copy !req
584. Okay, well, I just
sorta meant, like, cute, right?Copy !req
585. Well, did you come here
for help,Copy !req
586. or did you come here for me
to tell you how great it is?Copy !req
587. I mean, help,
if it's something simple,Copy !req
588. like add page numbers
or laminate it or...Copy !req
589. It sounds like
you know what you want.Copy !req
590. It's also a little derivative
of a serial called bear man.Copy !req
591. Did you look that up?Copy !req
592. - No.
- Okay.Copy !req
593. - Oh, Jim. Hey.
- Hey, Toby.Copy !req
594. There's this female stenographer
at the courthouse...Copy !req
595. - No way.
- Who looks exactly like you.Copy !req
596. - That's incredible.
- Yeah. No, it's uncanny.Copy !req
597. You know what's crazy?
I can't reconnect with youCopy !req
598. right now.
Hold on one second.Copy !req
599. Oh!Copy !req
600. Excuse me.Copy !req
601. I guess there are just
some peopleCopy !req
602. who you stay together with
when you transfer,Copy !req
603. and some people you don't.Copy !req
604. And that's just the way it is.Copy !req
605. And I can be mature about that.Copy !req
606. It's so cold.
Even with my coat on.Copy !req
607. Maybe your senator boyfriend
has a blanket in his carCopy !req
608. for screwing Americans.Copy !req
609. Yet another opportunityCopy !req
610. where a blanket would have
come in handy.Copy !req
611. You guys, this has to stop.Copy !req
612. Someone could have
really gotten hurt.Copy !req
613. What if Meredith was taking
her smoking breakCopy !req
614. below that window?Copy !req
615. You know what would
have happened?Copy !req
616. The shards of glass would have
shaved her face right off.Copy !req
617. And, yes,
it might have been funny,Copy !req
618. but it also would have been
incredibly tragic.Copy !req
619. I could not agree more.Copy !req
620. And I just want to state
for the recordCopy !req
621. that I am intending to sue JimCopy !req
622. for acute psychological
distress.Copy !req
623. What are you talking about?Copy !req
624. You're the one terrorizing me.Copy !req
625. With snowballs, Jim?
With Fluffy little snowballs?Copy !req
626. No. I thought
we were just playing.Copy !req
627. Dwight's right.Copy !req
628. What you did was dangerous
and inappropriate.Copy !req
629. Mmm, mmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
630. I'm really surprised
at you guys.Copy !req
631. Last time I was here,
you were both best friends.Copy !req
632. All this arguing reminds me
of a very funny story.Copy !req
633. You see this on my desk?Copy !req
634. Know who gave me this?Copy !req
635. My girlfriend Tara,
who lives in New York city.Copy !req
636. - Wait, what girlfriend?
- I haven't told you about her.Copy !req
637. I find that unlikely.Copy !req
638. You email me
when you get a new zit.Copy !req
639. I'm a man in my mid-40s
and I still get zits.Copy !req
640. I think that's
pretty interesting.Copy !req
641. But you know what,
I am not on trial here.Copy !req
642. The Scranton strangler is.Copy !req
643. So anyway,
we have this great weekend,Copy !req
644. and she drives me
to the airport,Copy !req
645. and we get to JFK,Copy !req
646. but I'm flying out
of Laguardia.Copy !req
647. So we laugh and laugh
and laugh,Copy !req
648. and then we spend
the rest of the dayCopy !req
649. walking around slomo
drinking latte.Copy !req
650. And at the end of the day,
she gives me this,Copy !req
651. and she says, "Michael,
maybe next time,Copy !req
652. you should take a cab."Copy !req
653. I didn't know
you had a girlfriend.Copy !req
654. I do. She is.Copy !req
655. Did you see her face?Copy !req
656. Well, it seems to me
that there is a personCopy !req
657. sitting out there in the annexCopy !req
658. that still has feelings
for Michael g. Scott.Copy !req
659. And it ain't Tara.Copy !req
660. So you went homemade this year.Copy !req
661. - Yep.
- Yeah.Copy !req
662. Money problems... Is that
what this is about?Copy !req
663. I mean, oh, dear, I don't think
we can help you out.Copy !req
664. No, no.
Jim had a great year, actually.Copy !req
665. I just wanted
to get your opinion.Copy !req
666. Are you good at homemade?Copy !req
667. Look at this.Copy !req
668. Yeah.Copy !req
669. Who did this?Copy !req
670. It's obvious to me
I'm not welcome here,Copy !req
671. but somebody better tell me
who did this,Copy !req
672. or else I'm leaving.Copy !req
673. Well, I don't think Erin
seems to like you.Copy !req
674. That's not true.Copy !req
675. I don't know her enough
to make a decision even.Copy !req
676. What happened?
What happened?Copy !req
677. Toby, what did you do?Copy !req
678. I think Toby's very jealousCopy !req
679. of all the attention
you've been getting.Copy !req
680. No, I would never ever
do anything like that.Copy !req
681. But it does seem like something
you would do.Copy !req
682. Oh, really?
Turn it on me.Copy !req
683. Well, isn't that nice?
Thank you very much.Copy !req
684. Wait, wait, guys, listen.Copy !req
685. Toy story is all about toys
that come to lifeCopy !req
686. when people aren't looking.Copy !req
687. You don't think...
It's not possible...Copy !req
688. That Woody did this to himself?Copy !req
689. It is Christmas.Copy !req
690. No, it really seems like
something Michael would do.Copy !req
691. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
692. Well, the fact that
you would think thatCopy !req
693. points to the possibility
that it is probably not me.Copy !req
694. And that I have been framed.Copy !req
695. Why would anyone
frame you for that?Copy !req
696. Okay, I'm sorry,
why are we discountingCopy !req
697. this whole "Woody came to life"
thing so quickly?Copy !req
698. Aaaaahh... Ahh, Ahh!Copy !req
699. Surprise!
It was part of the party.Copy !req
700. - Pretty funny, huh?
- You think this is funny?Copy !req
701. I don't.Copy !req
702. But someday I think
we will laugh about this...Copy !req
703. - When we tell our kids...
- Yikes.Copy !req
704. - Oh, my God.
- All right! Shh. Okay...Copy !req
705. You know what,
Holly, I didn't mean to do it.Copy !req
706. It was an accident.Copy !req
707. An accident borne
of jealous feelings.Copy !req
708. Michael, you have to
let this go.Copy !req
709. I'm with someone else.
I don't feel that way anymore.Copy !req
710. Oh, really?Copy !req
711. Well, you certainly
seemed jealousCopy !req
712. when I told you about
my fake girlfriend.Copy !req
713. That's what
Jim and Dwight thought.Copy !req
714. Okay, hey, hey, hey...Copy !req
715. No, fake girlfriends
are always wrong.Copy !req
716. You made up a fake girlfriendCopy !req
717. to see if I'd get jealous?Copy !req
718. And you destroyed a gift
my boyfriend gave me?Copy !req
719. What is the matter with you?Copy !req
720. When you got transferred,Copy !req
721. and I drove you up to Nashua,Copy !req
722. you said, "Michael, I love you,Copy !req
723. but I can't do this."Copy !req
724. But then, with this other guy,Copy !req
725. you don't have any problemCopy !req
726. with a long-distance
relationship, do you?Copy !req
727. And you know what,Copy !req
728. that is what is the matter
with me.Copy !req
729. Michael, I'm sorry.Copy !req
730. And we did this whole
stupid party for you.Copy !req
731. No.Copy !req
732. You guys, it wasn't my fault.Copy !req
733. Nothing is ever your fault.Copy !req
734. Just like when you ate
those maple candiesCopy !req
735. that you brought for us!Copy !req
736. I really think
you're better off.Copy !req
737. Mmm. Erin,
would you do me a favorCopy !req
738. and find my street clothes
for me, please?Copy !req
739. Yeah.Copy !req
740. Is she an amazing cook
or something?Copy !req
741. "Hey, pickles, Merry Christmas.Copy !req
742. "Open immediately?Copy !req
743. Love, Swiss cheese.Copy !req
744. Damn it, Dwight!Copy !req
745. Didn't think your
affectionate nicknamesCopy !req
746. would be your undoing,
did you, Jim?Copy !req
747. Let that be a lesson
to you all.Copy !req
748. So do they bring in food,
or do you get to go out?Copy !req
749. No, they bring it in.Copy !req
750. You lucky son of a bitch.Copy !req
751. I have been trying
to get on jury dutyCopy !req
752. every single year
since I was 18 years old.Copy !req
753. To get to go sit in an
air-conditioned room downtown,Copy !req
754. judging people
while my lunch is paid for...Copy !req
755. That is the life.Copy !req
756. Daddy, I'm bored.Copy !req
757. Can I read my book
in your office?Copy !req
758. Sure, sweetie.Copy !req
759. Jada, Darryl,
I'm so glad I found you guys.Copy !req
760. A Grinch stole the star from
on top of the Christmas treeCopy !req
761. and is hiding it
in the warehouse somewhere.Copy !req
762. You want to go help me
find him?Copy !req
763. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
764. I am the mean old Grinch.Copy !req
765. The little girl who wishes
to win back the Christmas starCopy !req
766. must first succeed
at these challenges.Copy !req
767. Ohh, that sounds fun
and christmasy,Copy !req
768. you mean old Grinch.Copy !req
769. What kind of challenges?Copy !req
770. Waahhh...Copy !req
771. Something like
an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch?Copy !req
772. No. You must answer
topical political questionCopy !req
773. something like
an ob'how many congressmeninch?Copy !req
774. "Is the state
of Pennsylvania guaranteed?Copy !req
775. And what other state has
the equal number?"Copy !req
776. I don't know.Copy !req
777. Do you know the other state?Copy !req
778. Maybe the Grinch hid
the Christmas star,Copy !req
779. and we could ask for clues,Copy !req
780. and he'll tell us
if we're hot or cold.Copy !req
781. The star has been hidden.Copy !req
782. Is the little girl hot or cold?Copy !req
783. Well, it turns out
she's burning upCopy !req
784. because the star is
right behind her ear!Copy !req
785. And the game's over
seconds later.Copy !req
786. I'm so glad you could come.Copy !req
787. It's nice. I know.Copy !req
788. Hey, everybody,Copy !req
789. this is my boyfriend,
senator Robert Lipton.Copy !req
790. Hi.Copy !req
791. Senator, it's an honor.Copy !req
792. I'm Angela's friend Oscar.Copy !req
793. Oscar. A pleasure.Copy !req
794. Robert seems great.
He's very handsome,Copy !req
795. firm handshake, he's gay,
good sense of humor.Copy !req
796. - Hi.
- Hello.Copy !req
797. I'm, uh... I'm Aj.Copy !req
798. I'm here to see Holly.Copy !req
799. It's kind of a surprise.Copy !req
800. I know who you are,
and I think you should go.Copy !req
801. I bet you didn't even
bring us anything, did you?Copy !req
802. Was I supposed
to bring you guys something?Copy !req
803. What? Aj!Copy !req
804. - Surprise.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
805. - Oh, my God.
- I wanted to see you.Copy !req
806. - How are you?
- Wow! Nice.Copy !req
807. - Oh, God, you look great.
- Oh...Copy !req
808. When did you get here?Copy !req
809. - Just now. Just now.
- Hey.Copy !req
810. - Hey, Michael.
- Good to see you again, Aj.Copy !req
811. - Welcome.
- Pleased to see you. Thank you.Copy !req
812. - Good trip down?
- Yeah, it was great.Copy !req
813. Good, good.
Good to see you.Copy !req
814. Have fun.
Enjoy the partay.Copy !req
815. I am dead inside.Copy !req
816. What do you want, baby?
We got some granola,Copy !req
817. got some cupcakes, chips,
apples, pies...Copy !req
818. You have a whole room
of vending machines.Copy !req
819. I know. Isn't it something?Copy !req
820. I can't decide what I want.Copy !req
821. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
822. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
823. Thank you.Copy !req
824. - And Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.Copy !req
825. And Merry Christ... Mas.Copy !req
826. - Thank you so much.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
827. - And Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you.Copy !req
828. - Merry Christmas.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
829. For your feet.Copy !req
830. It's amazing.Copy !req
831. 'S so great.
Thank you.Copy !req
832. - For me?
- Yes.Copy !req
833. - Thank you very much.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
834. I don't know if you guys
have had a chanceCopy !req
835. to use the new parking meters
that accept credit cards,Copy !req
836. but Robert was instrumental
in that legislation.Copy !req
837. Wow, that's awesome!Copy !req
838. A real David and Goliath story.Copy !req
839. I'm just so touched that
she's so interested in my work.Copy !req
840. I am.Copy !req
841. The real problem is
the teachers' union.Copy !req
842. - Zip it, Meredith.
- No.Copy !req
843. You tell me why my kid is 17
and still can't read.Copy !req
844. Hey, who's in charge
of making drinks around here?Copy !req
845. Is there a bartender?Copy !req
846. You are.
You make your own drink.Copy !req
847. I'll make it.
What are you drinking?Copy !req
848. An "f" train to Brooklyn.
Extra bitters.Copy !req
849. I don't know how to make that.Copy !req
850. Okay, well, I'll just
stick with my Mohito.Copy !req
851. And you know those
annoying geese at the park?Copy !req
852. Well, he's helping
eradicate them as well.Copy !req
853. I mean, I think they've
really become a pest.Copy !req
854. - Annoying.
- Yes.Copy !req
855. I don't think
he's in the ceiling, babe.Copy !req
856. Well, uh... I don't think
any of us really know.Copy !req
857. All right.Copy !req
858. Is it...Copy !req
859. Is it pebbles from the beach
in Jamaica?Copy !req
860. Ooh, go easy with the shaking.Copy !req
861. Oh, my God.Copy !req
862. You like it?Copy !req
863. I love it.Copy !req
864. Yep, I do make
great Christmas gifts.Copy !req
865. But I couldn't make that.Copy !req
866. All right, my turn.Copy !req
867. Oh, um, it's just...
I didn't...Copy !req
868. I didn't have a lot of time,
so that's just a place holder.Copy !req
869. Right. Of course.Copy !req
870. "The adventures
of Jimmy Halpert."Copy !req
871. Oh... My... God.Copy !req
872. This is awesome!Copy !req
873. That's my bike.Copy !req
874. That's my desk.Copy !req
875. And that is my daughter.Copy !req
876. I mean...Copy !req
877. Better office policy up there.Copy !req
878. It's not as fun as Scranton.Copy !req
879. But it should be
the same policy as us.Copy !req
880. Michael, wait.Copy !req
881. Oh, hey, hey, no, don't run.Copy !req
882. You're gonna slip.Copy !req
883. - That's good advice.
- Yep.Copy !req
884. I read this story about a womanCopy !req
885. who slipped on some black ice,Copy !req
886. and she hit her head
and went into a coma forever.Copy !req
887. And then every day,
her husband wentCopy !req
888. and visited her
in the hospital until she died.Copy !req
889. That's a sad story.Copy !req
890. Yeah, well,
at least he was married.Copy !req
891. Oh, okay, Michael, slow down.Copy !req
892. Everything's gonna be okay.Copy !req
893. No, it's not. It's not.Copy !req
894. Oh, man, I can
tell you confidentlyCopy !req
895. that it is not gonna be okay.Copy !req
896. I shouldn't tell you this,
but...Copy !req
897. Aj won't commit to Holly.Copy !req
898. And she's gonna tell him that
if he doesn't propose to herCopy !req
899. by the end of the year,
it's over.Copy !req
900. Really?Copy !req
901. Really.Copy !req
902. And I don't know about you,Copy !req
903. but I don't know of
a lot of happy marriagesCopy !req
904. that start off
with an ultimatum... Do you?Copy !req
905. No.Copy !req
906. So just be patient.Copy !req
907. Yeah.Copy !req
908. I mean, I can wait till then.Copy !req
909. Come here.Copy !req
910. I don't want you to fall.Copy !req
911. I surrender.Copy !req
912. I do not accept your surrender.Copy !req
913. There's only one way
that I would ever relent.Copy !req
914. Anything.
You got it.Copy !req
915. You hit Pam in the face
with a snowballCopy !req
916. while I watch.Copy !req
917. You're a psychopath.Copy !req
918. I'll take that as a no.Copy !req
919. I was in the mall,
and I saw that,Copy !req
920. and I thought it had your name
written all over it.Copy !req
921. Michael, this is the gift
that corporate gave usCopy !req
922. that I picked out.Copy !req
923. You're re-gifting this
to me.Copy !req
924. No, that's not...Copy !req
925. No, I went to the mall
and I picked that outCopy !req
926. especially for you.Copy !req
927. Oh, yeah?
Well, show me the receipt.Copy !req
928. From the mall.Copy !req
929. That...Copy !req
930. This is a fast food receipt
from April.Copy !req
931. Well... That...Copy !req
932. God, how many number nines
did you order?Copy !req
933. Is everyone here kind of mean?Copy !req
934. Oh, I think everyone's on edge
because of the strangler trial.Copy !req
935. - Oh.
- Hey...Copy !req
936. I'm so glad you came down.Copy !req
937. It's been so much harder
than I expected.Copy !req
938. Hey, what happened to Woody?Copy !req
939. Oh, okay, get ready for this.Copy !req
940. You're not gonna believe it.Copy !req
941. I was making salad, and he fell
right into the dressing.Copy !req
942. I mean, there was salad dressing
all over him.Copy !req
943. - He smells awful.
- It was blue cheese dressing.Copy !req
944. Great.Copy !req
945. - Hey, Mike.
- Hey.Copy !req
946. We wanted
to give you something.Copy !req
947. - Oh.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
948. Thank you.
A hostess apple pie!Copy !req
949. This is my favorite breakfast.
How did you know that?Copy !req
950. Thank you very much.Copy !req
951. - What do you say?
- You're welcome.Copy !req
952. Oh, you know,
I seem to rememberCopy !req
953. that Santa promised
that he would listenCopy !req
954. to all the gifts
you wanted for Christmas.Copy !req
955. Didn't he say that?Copy !req
956. I think I know where he is.Copy !req
957. - A trampoline...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
958. - Video games.
- Video games.Copy !req
959. - A horse.
- A horse.Copy !req
960. Are you sure
you don't want a pony?Copy !req
961. - You want a real horse.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
962. All right.Copy !req
963. You have to pick up after them.Copy !req
964. Hey, sorry.
I'm ready.Copy !req
965. I don't want to go.Copy !req
966. Oh...
Come on, bear man.Copy !req
967. Come on.Copy !req
968. Have you ever seen 'em do that?Copy !req
969. I'm sorry.Copy !req
970. I had no idea.Copy !req
971. No, it's... it's okay.Copy !req
972. - Okay.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
973. Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no.Copy !req
974. - Okay, this is it.
- What?Copy !req
975. - Go! Go! Go!
- What? What is it? What?Copy !req
976. Oh, my God!Copy !req
977. Honey? Jim?Copy !req
978. Jim!Copy !req
979. In the end,
the greatest snowballCopy !req
980. isn't a snowball at all.Copy !req
981. It's fear.Copy !req