1. - I just wanted
to check and seeCopy !req
2. If there's anything you neededCopy !req
3. Before I went
on my maternity leave.Copy !req
4. Yeah, I'm pregnant.
Great.Copy !req
5. Well, I'll write up the order.
Okay, thanks.Copy !req
6. - Wait a minute.
You can't do that.Copy !req
7. You cannot exploit your baby
for sales.Copy !req
8. - Hey, did I tell you
we're going to have a baby?Copy !req
9. Oh, thank you very much.
I'm excite... oh!Copy !req
10. Definitely.
- No. No!Copy !req
11. You need to come
by your sales honorably.Copy !req
12. - There is nothing dishonorable
about talking about your life.Copy !req
13. People like it.Copy !req
14. - Hey, there.
Dwight schrute here.Copy !req
15. Listen, uh,
would you be interestedCopy !req
16. In restocking on paper?Copy !req
17. Yeah, I could sure
use the money.Copy !req
18. My cousin came down with a case
of that nasty new goat fungus.Copy !req
19. Oh, it's just horrific.Copy !req
20. The doctor says he's never
seen it beard so quickly.Copy !req
21. Okay.Copy !req
22. I need a baby.Copy !req
23. I'll never outsell jim and pam
without one.Copy !req
24. Also, I've been noticing
a gaping hole in my life.Copy !req
25. Sometimes I wake up
cradling a gourd.Copy !req
26. - Kevin,
you're such a gourmand.Copy !req
27. - I cooked my way through
julia child's cookbook,Copy !req
28. And now I'm halfway through
the twilight cookbook.Copy !req
29. Last night I had
edward's cornflake chicken.Copy !req
30. - Pregnant pam and I,Copy !req
31. We get hungry
at the same times,Copy !req
32. So we've been eating
together a lot...Copy !req
33. Not all meals,
just second breakfast,Copy !req
34. Lunch, second lunch,
and first dinner.Copy !req
35. I thought that maybe
we should do something specialCopy !req
36. For early dinner,Copy !req
37. One last ultra-feast.Copy !req
38. - Mmm, that sounds great.
What are you thinking?Copy !req
39. - I think
it should be a surprise.Copy !req
40. - Oh, getting there, huh?Copy !req
41. - No, no.
I still have time.Copy !req
42. I'm having contractions,Copy !req
43. But they're irregular
and far apart.Copy !req
44. So I'm not really in labor,
I'm near labor.Copy !req
45. - Yeah, we're slow-playing it
because of our stupid hmo.Copy !req
46. - If we check in
after midnight,Copy !req
47. I get an extra day
to recuperate,Copy !req
48. Surrounded by doctors.Copy !req
49. - Not to mention the extra
night's sleep in the hospitalCopy !req
50. Will be very nice, because
once we bring the baby home,Copy !req
51. If it's crying all night,Copy !req
52. One of us is gonna have
to take care of it.Copy !req
53. And I do not plan on helping
unless it's a boy.Copy !req
54. - I cannot wait
for that joke to be over.Copy !req
55. "Contraptions"!
She's "contrapting."Copy !req
56. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
57. I think that I should drive you
guys to the hospital,Copy !req
58. And here is why.Copy !req
59. I am a licensed class "c" driver
in the state of pennsylvania.Copy !req
60. - Michael...
- I gas up the car.Copy !req
61. Actually,
I put diesel in this time...Copy !req
62. Try to save some money.Copy !req
63. - Michael, you shouldn't
have done that.Copy !req
64. - Happy to do it.
Also, I did a heck of a jobCopy !req
65. Baby-proofing this office.Copy !req
66. - You know the baby's
not gonna live here, right?Copy !req
67. - Well, the baby
was conceived here,Copy !req
68. So it might as well live here
a little bit too.Copy !req
69. - That logic's airtight,Copy !req
70. But unfortunately,
it wasn't conceived here.Copy !req
71. Burning man, port-a-potty.Copy !req
72. - Ooh! Yuck! T.M.I.
How was it?Copy !req
73. I don't want to know.
Tell me later.Copy !req
74. Let's go! Let's go!
Hospital!Copy !req
75. - Okay, okay, we're not going
to the hospital.Copy !req
76. We are waiting until midnight.
- Ooh, spooky.Copy !req
77. But why?Copy !req
78. - Because the insurance company
only covers two nights.Copy !req
79. - Everything's fine.
We have plenty of time.Copy !req
80. - Well, you don't want to wait
too long, pam.Copy !req
81. Otherwise, the baby's gonna
become a teenager in there,Copy !req
82. And you'll be up all night
from the rock music.Copy !req
83. - Shut up, nick. God!Copy !req
84. What a weird thing to say,Copy !req
85. Weird I.T. Nerd.Copy !req
86. Don't get revenge
on me, nerd.Copy !req
87. - What are you looking at?Copy !req
88. - Nerd.Copy !req
89. - Did you know that labor
can last weeks?Copy !req
90. And they take
your insides out,Copy !req
91. And they just plop 'em
on a table.Copy !req
92. And sometimes epidurals
don't work.Copy !req
93. And you can poop yourself.Copy !req
94. - Bear my child.Copy !req
95. - Excuse me?Copy !req
96. - I want to have a child
for business reasons,Copy !req
97. And I want you
to be the mother.Copy !req
98. If you agree, say nothing.Copy !req
99. If you disagree,
say anything.Copy !req
100. Very well.Copy !req
101. Let's meet at 4:00 p.M.
At our old meeting spotCopy !req
102. And bang it out.Copy !req
103. - All right,
that's seven minutes.Copy !req
104. Here we go. This is happening.
- Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
105. It isn't midnight yet.
- Are... are you serious? Pam...Copy !req
106. - No, the doctor said
every five to seven minutes.Copy !req
107. I'm gonna be okay.
We should really tryCopy !req
108. To make it to midnight.
- Pam, please.Copy !req
109. - Yeah.
No, you really should,Copy !req
110. 'cause if your baby's born
tomorrow,Copy !req
111. He's gonna have the same
birthday as buttmud brooks,Copy !req
112. My old roommate.Copy !req
113. - Did you hear that?
Buttmud brooks.Copy !req
114. Okay, but we are leaving
at five minutes apart.Copy !req
115. - Five minutes apart.Copy !req
116. - So the plan was
seven minutes.Copy !req
117. But we're calling an audible,
because that's her call,Copy !req
118. 'cause she's the quarterback.Copy !req
119. I'm just the left tackle who
happened to get her pregnant.Copy !req
120. Okay, okay, okay, okay...Copy !req
121. Okay, stop watching me.Copy !req
122. - Okay, crazy.Copy !req
123. I think I have some
better things to do with my dayCopy !req
124. Than worry about you,
like sell printers.Copy !req
125. - Well, now till Friday,
20% off all toner cartridges.Copy !req
126. That's a big deal.
While we're on the subject,Copy !req
127. Why don't I just run you down
to the hospitalCopy !req
128. And just do a quick check?
- Not till midnight.Copy !req
129. - Guys...Copy !req
130. A word of advice,
speaking as a former baby.Copy !req
131. Don't get too hung up
on baby names.Copy !req
132. I was named walter jr.,
after my father,Copy !req
133. Until I was about six or so,Copy !req
134. When my parents
changed their minds.Copy !req
135. - I thought you said
your younger brotherCopy !req
136. Was named walter jr.Copy !req
137. - My brother was born,Copy !req
138. And my parents felt
he better exemplifiedCopy !req
139. The walter jr. Name,
so they gave it to him.Copy !req
140. I was given "andrew,"Copy !req
141. Which they got
out of a baby-name book.Copy !req
142. - How's it going?Copy !req
143. - You know what? It's getting
really crowded in here.Copy !req
144. Maybe you guys
should all go back to work,Copy !req
145. 'cause the day's not out yet.Copy !req
146. - No, no, no.
You know what?Copy !req
147. You can't tell us what to doCopy !req
148. Because you are not
co-manager anymore.Copy !req
149. - Okay.
- Yes!Copy !req
150. - I feel like this noise
is gonna prevent pamCopy !req
151. From being able to listen
to her body's signals.Copy !req
152. - Actually,
the distractions are good.Copy !req
153. I mean, I don't think
I'm gonna make it till midnightCopy !req
154. If I'm just sitting here
thinking about it.Copy !req
155. - Distractions are good!Copy !req
156. That means conference room,
five minutes.Copy !req
157. No, no... five seconds!Copy !req
158. Right now, right now,
conference room.Copy !req
159. Topic... potpourri.
Let's go.Copy !req
160. Um, I'm sort of a master
of distraction.Copy !req
161. When I was a kid,
my mom received complimentsCopy !req
162. Left and right
from my teachers on how...Copy !req
163. I was always able
to distract others in class.Copy !req
164. Try to think what were
the first 13 colonies?Copy !req
165. - The purpose for this meeting
is to take pam's mindCopy !req
166. Off of what's going on
inside of her body.Copy !req
167. - Can we do
sleight-of-hand tricks?Copy !req
168. - I will allow that.Copy !req
169. - Yes!
Can anyone do those?Copy !req
170. - I'm gonna go look
at the internet.Copy !req
171. - Oh!
- Oh, oh, all right.Copy !req
172. That's a good one.
- Ow. Okay...Copy !req
173. Sorry, guys.
Just, um, keep talking.Copy !req
174. - Okay.Copy !req
175. - Oh, my god, pam,
you are a woman warrior.Copy !req
176. - Oh, thanks, kelly.Copy !req
177. - Does anybody have anything...
anything interesting,Copy !req
178. Any hobbies,
uh, special skills?Copy !req
179. - Yes, this is the only time I'm
ever going to make this request.Copy !req
180. - Yeah, phyl.Copy !req
181. - I can put on lipstickCopy !req
182. The way molly ringwald does
in the breakfast club.Copy !req
183. - Nope. No, I don't think
anybody wants to see that.Copy !req
184. - I can do the
"evolution of dance" dance.Copy !req
185. - That sounds good.
Do you need some music or...?Copy !req
186. - No. Actually,
music would just throw me off.Copy !req
187. I need complete silence, okay?Copy !req
188. You're clapping.Copy !req
189. I need complete silence.Copy !req
190. Totally threw me off,
so I'm gonna have to start over.Copy !req
191. "evolution of dance" dance.Copy !req
192. - "you let me in your bed,
but now I sleep alone,Copy !req
193. Trapped with the forgotten
in my detritus home."Copy !req
194. - Affirmed, seattle slew,
secretariat,Copy !req
195. Citation, assault,
count fleet,Copy !req
196. Whirlaway, war admiral,
omaha, gallant fox, and...Copy !req
197. I know this.Copy !req
198. The jockey was johnny loftus,Copy !req
199. Sired by star shoot.Copy !req
200. - Good afternoon.
- Have a seat.Copy !req
201. - What is this?Copy !req
202. - Before we conceive a child,
it is importantCopy !req
203. That we bang out
a parenting contract.Copy !req
204. - Of course.Copy !req
205. - It's been a long time since
we've come down here separately.Copy !req
206. - You know, I was thinking...
- now, then...Copy !req
207. Let's get to it, shall we?Copy !req
208. "item one... child will be
breast-fed by the motherCopy !req
209. "for exactly six months,
then weanedCopy !req
210. "onto a nutrient-rich
winter-vegetable mashCopy !req
211. "provided by the father,
dwight schrute,Copy !req
212. Hereafter referred to
as morpheus."Copy !req
213. Agreed?
- Agreed.Copy !req
214. - Where are we?Copy !req
215. We have every six minutes,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
216. Another 75 contractions,
and you are going to be there.Copy !req
217. - For the love of god, pam,
do it for ultra-feast!Copy !req
218. - Okay, you know what?Copy !req
219. I'm gonna go give, uh,
dr. Rezvani a quick call.Copy !req
220. He'll probably know...Copy !req
221. - Jim, please.Copy !req
222. - Happy thoughts here,
happy times.Copy !req
223. - Yeah, happy times.
Come on.Copy !req
224. Let's have happy times.
- All right.Copy !req
225. - Jim, as a matter of fact...Copy !req
226. I printed out ten ways
to induce labor.Copy !req
227. And I'm thinking we just
do the opposite of those things,Copy !req
228. And we can slow down
your labor.Copy !req
229. Erin, read the first one.Copy !req
230. - "stimulate the nipples."Copy !req
231. - Okay, nobody touch
pam's nipples.Copy !req
232. Think of pam's nipples
as toby's grundle.Copy !req
233. - Her shirt is touching them.Copy !req
234. Maybe we should cut holes
in her shirt.Copy !req
235. - I have a shirt like that
in my car.Copy !req
236. - Okay, yeah,
why don't you go get it?Copy !req
237. - Okay, the second one
is "walk around."Copy !req
238. We're already doing
the opposite of that... perfect.Copy !req
239. Okay, number three...
"eat spicy foods."Copy !req
240. - Okay,
the opposite of that...Copy !req
241. - Stick spicy food
up her butt.Copy !req
242. - Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.Copy !req
243. Come on,
let's go to the hospital.Copy !req
244. Pam, let's go
to the hospital now.Copy !req
245. - Jim, sweetie, I love you,Copy !req
246. But you're really distracting me
from my distractions.Copy !req
247. - Okay, great.
Well, sorry.Copy !req
248. - Why don't you go
do some work?Copy !req
249. - Great.
I will do that.Copy !req
250. Sorry, pam.Copy !req
251. I just feel
a little bit frazzled.Copy !req
252. And you know how very rarely
I use that word.Copy !req
253. - I know.
You don't like to be frazzled.Copy !req
254. - No, I don't.
- Okay.Copy !req
255. - Oh, and by the way,Copy !req
256. Hate that you're helping her
with this right now.Copy !req
257. Totally.Copy !req
258. - Oh, someone's freaking.
- A little frazzled.Copy !req
259. - He is.Copy !req
260. - I know pam better than anyone
in this office,Copy !req
261. And obviously
she's gone crazy.Copy !req
262. But everybody wants to say
that I'm crazy.Copy !req
263. But I'm not crazy.
She's crazy.Copy !req
264. I'm not crazy,
she's crazy.Copy !req
265. "five to seven minutes."Copy !req
266. "five to seven minutes."Copy !req
267. "six minutes."
different, but not really.Copy !req
268. "five to seven minutes."Copy !req
269. - "acceptable names include
and are limited to ebenezer..."Copy !req
270. - Jebediah.
- "honus."Copy !req
271. - Jedediah.
- "worf."Copy !req
272. - No star trek names.Copy !req
273. - Okay, fine.Copy !req
274. - What if it's a girl?
- Irrelevant question.Copy !req
275. Section 5-a...
"child shall be male.Copy !req
276. - Hey, uh-uh.
I cannot control that.Copy !req
277. You can't put that in here.Copy !req
278. - Yes, you can.
- No.Copy !req
279. - It's as simple as keeping
the womb extremely warmCopy !req
280. For two days after sexCopy !req
281. And then extremely cold
for five months.Copy !req
282. - Absolutely not.Copy !req
283. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
284. - I'm not gonna get in the car,
because I know if I do,Copy !req
285. You'll try to drive me
to the hospital.Copy !req
286. - Aw, you know me too well.Copy !req
287. - Okay, jim?
- Yeah?Copy !req
288. - Everything is fine.
- Totally.Copy !req
289. - You don't have to worry.
Try not to think about it.Copy !req
290. She's not coming out
for a while, okay?Copy !req
291. - Did you say "she"?Copy !req
292. - I called the doctor,
like, a week ago.Copy !req
293. I couldn't wait.Copy !req
294. Oh, god, don't be mad.Copy !req
295. - Mad?Copy !req
296. How could I be mad?Copy !req
297. We're having a little girl.Copy !req
298. - Wow, we're having
a little girl.Copy !req
299. - Oh, man.
- I know.Copy !req
300. - Whew. All right.
- Aw...Copy !req
301. - Well, I definitely
feel better.Copy !req
302. - Good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
303. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
304. Hey, did you change?Copy !req
305. - Oh, yeah.
My water broke.Copy !req
306. - Pam?
- Haaa!Copy !req
307. - Pam!
Okay. All right.Copy !req
308. Okay, it's time...
time to go to the hospital.Copy !req
309. Somebody get jim, please.Copy !req
310. Is it midnight yet?
- No, it's 4:35.Copy !req
311. - 4:35. All right.
Almost made it.Copy !req
312. Almost made it.Copy !req
313. Too bad you didn't have sex,Copy !req
314. Like, 7,5 hours later.Copy !req
315. But you had to have
the afternoon delight.Copy !req
316. I understand. Sometimes
you have to go for it.Copy !req
317. Let's go to the hospital,
shall we?Copy !req
318. - No, not yet, michael.
- We can...Copy !req
319. - Oh, wow, it's almost time
for ultra-feast!Copy !req
320. Where's kevin?Copy !req
321. - What? You want to
eat cat food with kevinCopy !req
322. And not go to the hospital?Copy !req
323. - That's fancy feast.Copy !req
324. "ultra-feast" is something
they made upCopy !req
325. So they can pig out together
in the name of ceremony.Copy !req
326. - What is octoberfeast?Copy !req
327. - There's no rush
to get to the hospital.Copy !req
328. I am fine.
I'll get there.Copy !req
329. And if I don't get there,
I don't get there.Copy !req
330. - Our ultra-feast
menu's theme...Copy !req
331. Hollywood.Copy !req
332. We have ratatouille
from ratatouilleCopy !req
333. And tandoori chicken
from born into brothels.Copy !req
334. I tried to bake a cake like
that district 9 prawn thing,Copy !req
335. But I...
are you okay?Copy !req
336. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
337. Yes, I'm fine. Um...
- Are you sure?Copy !req
338. - Yeah. The doctor said
that it's still consideredCopy !req
339. A minor contraction as long
as I can talk through it!Copy !req
340. - Okay, okay.
Jim?Copy !req
341. I think this feast is over,Copy !req
342. And it's time to go
to the hospital.Copy !req
343. - All right. Time to go?
- That's right. Let's do this.Copy !req
344. - Let's give it a shot.
- No, no, it's better.Copy !req
345. - That wasn't even
the worst of 'em... I'm fine.Copy !req
346. - Hey, come on,
let's go to the hospital.Copy !req
347. - They're not that bad
still, babe.Copy !req
348. No, it's passing. It's fine.
- Pam, it's time.Copy !req
349. Let's go to the hospital.
- It's okay.Copy !req
350. - Michael says
we should go now.Copy !req
351. - Yeah, I think
we should head out.Copy !req
352. - Pam.
- Oh, no, it passed. It's good.Copy !req
353. - You know what?
Hon, I'm not asking anymore.Copy !req
354. - Babe, I'm not going.
- We need to go.Copy !req
355. - Come on, come on!
No, I'm not going!Copy !req
356. I am not going, okay?Copy !req
357. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
358. - I'm not going today!
Because I can't do it.Copy !req
359. I don't think I can do it.Copy !req
360. - Hey. Hey.Copy !req
361. Hey. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
362. - Are you kidding?Copy !req
363. - If anyone can do this,
you can do this.Copy !req
364. - You can do this.
You can do this.Copy !req
365. - Pam, I'm scared.
I'm real scared.Copy !req
366. - I'm scared too.
- I'm petrified.Copy !req
367. - But the best news isCopy !req
368. We're gonna have
a baby today...Copy !req
369. - A really awesome baby.Copy !req
370. - We're gonna have a baby.Copy !req
371. - So let's have it
at the hospital.Copy !req
372. - Let's do that.Copy !req
373. - How we doing
on contractions?Copy !req
374. - Two minutes apart.
- Two min...Copy !req
375. - Oh, god.
Oh, no.Copy !req
376. - Michael, I told you...
- It's okay.Copy !req
377. - No, I told you to warn me
at five minutes.Copy !req
378. - Jim, we waited too long.
- I know, I know.Copy !req
379. - We waited too long.Copy !req
380. Two minutes
doesn't do us any good.Copy !req
381. What happened to four and three?
- We're okay, jim.Copy !req
382. Okay, pamela,
you know what time it is?Copy !req
383. - I don't want
to have my baby here.Copy !req
384. - No, you're not going to.
You know where you're going.Copy !req
385. - The hospital.
- Yes, you are.Copy !req
386. And you know
what you're gonna have?Copy !req
387. - A baby.
- Yes!Copy !req
388. We're going to the hospital,
and we're gonna have a baby.Copy !req
389. I got it, I got it!
Everybody, it's go time!Copy !req
390. Action stations!
Stanley, man the phones.Copy !req
391. Meredith, please,
a bottle of water.Copy !req
392. Erin, call an ambulance,
please.Copy !req
393. - No, no, no.Copy !req
394. Ambulances
are emergencies only.Copy !req
395. You call the ambulance,
I call the cops.Copy !req
396. - All right, we're driving
ourselves, actually.Copy !req
397. - No, jim, you are
in no condition to drive.Copy !req
398. I will drive you!
Check! Got it!Copy !req
399. - All right, I have my wallet.
- Yes.Copy !req
400. - Go-bag's in the car.
- Go-bag! Where's my go-bag?Copy !req
401. - Keys... I need my keys!
- There's nothing in it.Copy !req
402. - You are telling me now
that there is nothing in it!Copy !req
403. Okay! Great!
Oh, hey, hey!Copy !req
404. Should I bring
a dictionary to the hospital?Copy !req
405. - The hospital
will provide dictionaries.Copy !req
406. Bring a thesaurus.Copy !req
407. - Has anyone checked
how dilated she is?Copy !req
408. This is ridiculous.
- Dwight, get away.Copy !req
409. - No, no, no, dwight.
Let jim do that, please.Copy !req
410. - I didn't know
we had a tape measure.Copy !req
411. - We don't.Copy !req
412. - Okay, I can't find my keys.
I cannot find my keys!Copy !req
413. Found 'em.
They're here.Copy !req
414. - Go! Here we go!
- Here we go!Copy !req
415. - Good luck!
- Good luck, pam.Copy !req
416. - Thank you!
- Bye!Copy !req
417. - Wish me luck!Copy !req
418. - Have fun!Copy !req
419. - Hey, it's 5:00.Copy !req
420. - Here we go!
Here we go!Copy !req
421. On our way!Copy !req
422. - Hold it!
- Come on, stanley.Copy !req
423. Okay.Copy !req
424. We're goin' now.
- One more...Copy !req
425. - No! No! No!
Out! Out! Out!Copy !req
426. Idiot.Copy !req
427. Dwight, what is
the traffic like?Copy !req
428. - Doesn't matter.
I'll escort you!Copy !req
429. - All right.Copy !req
430. Jeez!Copy !req
431. - Let's go!Copy !req
432. - Easy, dwight!Copy !req
433. - Michael!
- What?Copy !req
434. - Michael!
- What?Copy !req
435. - This is where I saw
that deer last week.Copy !req
436. - Where?
- Right over by that fence.Copy !req
437. - By the bushes?
- Okay, michael, focus!Copy !req
438. - Okay, go, go, go, go, go!
- Guys, come on!Copy !req
439. - Let's go!Copy !req
440. I love escorting people.Copy !req
441. In fact, a few years back,Copy !req
442. I put an ad in the paper
starting an escort service.Copy !req
443. Got a lot of responses...Copy !req
444. Mostly creeps.Copy !req
445. Made a few friends.Copy !req
446. - All right, here we go.
- Okay!Copy !req
447. - You're doing great!
- Just breathe.Copy !req
448. - She'll be here soon.
- She? You found out?Copy !req
449. Come on, guys.
I wanted to be surprised.Copy !req
450. - Michael!
- Yeah?Copy !req
451. - Stop texting!
- Michael, come on!Copy !req
452. - I'm texting
about you, okay?Copy !req
453. - Ah! All right...Copy !req
454. Let's move!Copy !req
455. - Fa... what?Copy !req
456. Oh, you're kidding me!Copy !req
457. - Pull over!Copy !req
458. You're not allowed
to impersonate a police officer.Copy !req
459. Don't make
this difficult, dwight.Copy !req
460. - Wait...Copy !req
461. Wait!
My ipod's not in here!Copy !req
462. - Okay.
- It has the birth song on it.Copy !req
463. - Okay, I know, I know,
but my ipod is in the go-bag.Copy !req
464. We'll be fine.
- Jim, I don't wantCopy !req
465. The first thing the baby hears
to be the 8 mile soundtrack.Copy !req
466. - So what do you wanna do?
- I don't know!Copy !req
467. Let's go by the house
and get it.Copy !req
468. It's only 20 minutes
past the hospital!Copy !req
469. - Pam, pam, no.
Are you nuts?Copy !req
470. We're going to the hospital now.
- Guys, guys, stop fighting.Copy !req
471. Come on. Come on!Copy !req
472. Do you want your kid
to come out a lawyer?Copy !req
473. Right?Copy !req
474. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
475. I am all over this.Copy !req
476. Here we go.
Ready?Copy !req
477. - Dwight schrute.Copy !req
478. - Hello, dwight.Copy !req
479. Pam left her ipod at her house.Copy !req
480. I want you to swing by,
pick it up,Copy !req
481. And bring it to the hospital.Copy !req
482. We need it yesterday.Copy !req
483. - Then why didn't you ask me
to do it yesterday?Copy !req
484. I kept I.M.Ing you
how bored I was.Copy !req
485. - Okay...
- Dwight!Copy !req
486. Go to my house,
get my ipod.Copy !req
487. I think it's on
the kitchen table.Copy !req
488. Do not touch anything else.
The key is underneath...Copy !req
489. - I don't need a key.
- Okay, dwight,Copy !req
490. But if you do need a key,
just listen, it's under...Copy !req
491. - No, don't, don't.
Don't tell me.Copy !req
492. Lalalalalalala!
- Dwight, just listen to me!Copy !req
493. - Okay.Copy !req
494. Do you have everything, guys?Copy !req
495. - Michael,
just go park the car.Copy !req
496. - Okay.
All right.Copy !req
497. - Sir...
- dunder mifflin. It's okay.Copy !req
498. - You can't park here.Copy !req
499. I just did.Copy !req
500. - Pam's doing great.Copy !req
501. Uh, she's ten inches
dilated now...Copy !req
502. Sorry, meters...
centimeters.Copy !req
503. Uh, and she's also
fully effaced,Copy !req
504. Which I don't know
what that is.Copy !req
505. Uh, but no baby yet.Copy !req
506. It's only been 6...
19 hours.Copy !req
507. And, uh, I was sent out
for some ice chips,Copy !req
508. 'cause I might have
passed out a little bit.Copy !req
509. But these are very refreshing,
very good.Copy !req
510. - Daddy.
She's ready to push.Copy !req
511. - Okay.Copy !req
512. - Where's my little nibblet?Copy !req
513. Halpert, room d-1.
All right.Copy !req
514. Family only
beyond this point.Copy !req
515. Thank you!Copy !req
516. There we go.Copy !req
517. - You're doing great.
Push again.Copy !req
518. - Not yet.
- No, don't push. Pull.Copy !req
519. - Why don't you get
some more ice chips?Copy !req
520. - No, jim, stay!Copy !req
521. - Okay, really push
this time, pam.Copy !req
522. - Okay!Copy !req
523. - Nope, not yet,
not yet, not yet.Copy !req
524. Gotta go wash my eyes.Copy !req
525. That kid's gonna have
a lot of hair.Copy !req
526. - Ha... have you guys seen her?
- She hasn't popped yet.Copy !req
527. - What?
Ah, damn it!Copy !req
528. She was supposed
to come out yesterday.Copy !req
529. I decided to give
baby halpert a newspaperCopy !req
530. From the day she was born.Copy !req
531. This frame set me back
55 bones.Copy !req
532. But she decided
to take her sweet time,Copy !req
533. So now I have to switch it
with today's paper.Copy !req
534. - This is ridiculous.
We just can't wait here.Copy !req
535. - I think it's gonna be
any minute now.Copy !req
536. - But you don't know that.Copy !req
537. I mean, we could be here
another half an hour.Copy !req
538. - Phyllis, what could you
possibly have to do?Copy !req
539. - I have an ice cream cake
in the car.Copy !req
540. - Oh, my god!
Go, go, go!Copy !req
541. Are you insane?Copy !req
542. All right.Copy !req
543. Guys? Hello?Copy !req
544. - You're doing great.Copy !req
545. - Um...
- You're doing great.Copy !req
546. Just relax.
- Sorry to be a bother,Copy !req
547. But, uh, if we could have
an E.T.A...Copy !req
548. When this is gonna...
- This isn't happening!Copy !req
549. - You're starting...
you're kinda losing 'em.Copy !req
550. - Oh, my god!Copy !req
551. Look at her.Copy !req
552. Pam, she's so beautiful.
- Yeah!Copy !req
553. - Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god!Copy !req
554. That's right.
It's a baby, see...Copy !req
555. - Sir. Sir, you can't smoke
that in here.Copy !req
556. - Okay.
- Put it... put it out.Copy !req
557. - All right.Copy !req
558. Can't smoke anywhere these days.Copy !req
559. She's incredible.Copy !req
560. You wanna count
her fingers and toes again?Copy !req
561. - No. Let's let her rest.Copy !req
562. I'm sure there's still
12 of each.Copy !req
563. - Okay.Copy !req
564. - Guys, guys!Copy !req
565. - Her name
is cecilia marie halpert.Copy !req
566. - 11 pounds...
- She's 7 pounds...Copy !req
567. - 7 pounds.
- 2 ounces, 18 inches.Copy !req
568. Mother and daughter
are doing great.Copy !req
569. - Congratulations.Copy !req
570. - Here.
- Hey, grandma's back.Copy !req
571. - Well, it was an adventure
and a halfCopy !req
572. Trying to find the cafeteria,Copy !req
573. But I have returned
with the coffee.Copy !req
574. - Oh, thank god.Copy !req
575. I haven't had caffeine
in nine months.Copy !req
576. - May I?
- Yes.Copy !req
577. - Oh, somebody
has a full diaper.Copy !req
578. - Oh. Let me get it.Copy !req
579. I am a diapering master.Copy !req
580. I've done little else
in the past two months.Copy !req
581. There is nothing
I cannot diaper.Copy !req
582. Go ahead.
Try to think of something.Copy !req
583. I dare you.Copy !req
584. Where's the baby?Copy !req
585. I want to see the baby!Copy !req
586. Helene.Copy !req
587. Hi.Copy !req
588. My goodness,
what are the odds of this?Copy !req
589. Congratulations
on being a grandma.Copy !req
590. - Hello, michael.Copy !req
591. - Hello!Copy !req
592. Oh. How are you?Copy !req
593. - I'm, uh...
- I worry about you.Copy !req
594. - You know, I think, uh...Copy !req
595. I think it's time
for me to go.Copy !req
596. - Oh. Okay.Copy !req
597. Love you.Copy !req
598. - Love you, as a friend.Copy !req
599. - Love you, mom.Copy !req
600. I want to hold the baby!Copy !req
601. - Okay. You just have to use
the hand sanitizer first.Copy !req
602. - Oh, right.Copy !req
603. - Again. No pants.Copy !req
604. - Well, uh...Copy !req
605. - Ready?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
606. Michael.
Michael.Copy !req
607. - That's so weird.Copy !req
608. She was saying it
just before you got here.Copy !req
609. - Yesterday I was dispatched
to jim and pam's houseCopy !req
610. To find pam's ipod.Copy !req
611. I searched everywhere,
but I didn't find it.Copy !req
612. What I did find...
Was moldCopy !req
613. And lots of it.Copy !req
614. So I did what
anyone would do.Copy !req
615. I got a good night's sleep
and made plans to eradicate it.Copy !req
616. Time to get to work.Copy !req
617. - There she sat.
Her name was pam.Copy !req
618. She was a receptionist.Copy !req
619. She was engaged to an animal.Copy !req
620. There sat jim.Copy !req
621. He was a gawky,
tall salesman.Copy !req
622. The odds of them
getting togetherCopy !req
623. Were "insurmountainable."Copy !req
624. I made a family.Copy !req
625. I got these two together,
and I made a family.Copy !req
626. - This man has a gift!Copy !req
627. - Who else here is single?Copy !req
628. - I'm not single.
I have a man.Copy !req
629. - I am offering up
my services to you all.Copy !req
630. You saw what I did
with pam and jim.Copy !req
631. I can help you too.Copy !req
632. - Why don't you find
someone for yourselfCopy !req
633. Instead of meddling
in our affairs?Copy !req
634. - Okay, show of hands...
who wants to live in a worldCopy !req
635. Where stanley has two lovers
and you don't have any?Copy !req
636. Who else?Copy !req
637. Come on, people.
I know models.Copy !req
638. - Plus-size models maybe.Copy !req
639. - Ha ha ha!
You got that right.Copy !req
640. Meredith, come on.
You're obviously single.Copy !req
641. - You know it.
I am never getting married.Copy !req
642. Like clooney.Copy !req
643. - Andrew, what about you?Copy !req
644. - Torn scrotum...
still on the mend, so...Copy !req
645. - Ooh... Ah.
- Not good timing.Copy !req
646. Yes, I'm gonna ask out erin.Copy !req
647. I'm just waiting
for the stars to align...Copy !req
648. Literally.Copy !req
649. I have a small skylight
in my bedroom,Copy !req
650. And I'd like for the moon
to be visible.Copy !req
651. - Well, when you least
expect it, expect it.Copy !req
652. I am going to fillCopy !req
653. The empty voids
in your life with love.Copy !req
654. I am going to fill
that empty hole in your bodyCopy !req
655. With another person.Copy !req
656. And, like cupid, I am going to
shoot you with love.Copy !req
657. - Remember yesterdayCopy !req
658. When we were terrified
of being parents?Copy !req
659. - We were just kids.Copy !req
660. What did we know?Copy !req
661. - Hey.
How we doing?Copy !req
662. - Good.
- Great.Copy !req
663. - Would you like me to take her
to the nursery for the night?Copy !req
664. - Doesn't she sleep here?
- She can.Copy !req
665. Uh, but a lot of parents
choose to have the babyCopy !req
666. Spend the first night
in the nursery to get some rest.Copy !req
667. You've been through a lot.Copy !req
668. - I think we'll be okay.Copy !req
669. - Okay.
Great.Copy !req
670. - Oh!
Big yawn.Copy !req
671. - Ready? One, two, three.Copy !req
672. - One, and then wrap around.Copy !req
673. It's okay.
It's okay.Copy !req
674. Hold that arm down.
- I can't. She's too strong.Copy !req
675. Careful, though.
You don't wanna break it.Copy !req
676. - She's not gonna...
just...Copy !req
677. - Pam, I got it.Copy !req
678. All right.
- Go, go.Copy !req
679. Arms out.
- Nurse?Copy !req
680. - How you doing?
- I don't know.Copy !req
681. I just... I can't tell
if she's getting anything.Copy !req
682. - Really?
- It doesn't feel right.Copy !req
683. - Well, you... you're pushing
the milk out, right?Copy !req
684. - How would one do that?Copy !req
685. - Wasn't it...
it's kinda like a...Copy !req
686. Like... Like that.Copy !req
687. - Do you wanna try it, jim?Copy !req
688. - Mm-mm.
I think you're good.Copy !req
689. You're doing a good job.Copy !req
690. - Somebody buzzed.Copy !req
691. - Oh, really?
Must have sat on it, pam.Copy !req
692. - I can't tell
if she's getting anything.Copy !req
693. It just doesn't
really feel right.Copy !req
694. - Well, maybe we should take
a break for a little while.Copy !req
695. I can take her to the nurseryCopy !req
696. And then bring her back and
try again a little bit later.Copy !req
697. - Even if she's not
getting anything?Copy !req
698. - Yeah.
She'll be fine.Copy !req
699. I-I can always give her a bottle
once we're in the nursery.Copy !req
700. - No. I-I read in the book
about nipple confusion.Copy !req
701. - Oh, good.
You know everything.Copy !req
702. - I mean, she's just... she's
really tentative about latching.Copy !req
703. And I just... I wanna keep
her self-esteem up.Copy !req
704. - I'll bring her back
in a little while,Copy !req
705. And we can try again, okay?Copy !req
706. - All right.
- Okay.Copy !req
707. - It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
708. - Maybe itl be good,Copy !req
709. 'cause then she can, like,
socialize with the other babies.Copy !req
710. No. Yeah, that would...
that would be good.Copy !req
711. - You wanted to see me?Copy !req
712. - What would you say
if I told youCopy !req
713. That I was about
to change your life.Copy !req
714. - Oh, boy.Copy !req
715. What's that sound?Copy !req
716. - I would like you to meet
your new boyfriend.Copy !req
717. - Yes.Copy !req
718. - I don't know what to say.Copy !req
719. - Oh, say nothing.Copy !req
720. You will learn to love me.Copy !req
721. - Okay! Hold on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
722. You gotta let the cookies coolCopy !req
723. Before you pop 'em
in your mouth.Copy !req
724. Why don't you guys
get to know each other?Copy !req
725. Maybe have lunch together.Copy !req
726. - Erin, would you
have lunch with me?Copy !req
727. - Okay.
- Good!Copy !req
728. - Yes!Copy !req
729. - Michael, can I talk
to you privately?Copy !req
730. - Sure.
Kevin, please leave.Copy !req
731. - Bye.
- Good-bye.Copy !req
732. - I'm so sorry if I gave you
the impression I'm into kevin,Copy !req
733. But I'm not... I like andy.Copy !req
734. - Okay.
This is going to kill kevin.Copy !req
735. - I'm sure he'll be fine.
- I'm not so sure.Copy !req
736. Kevin has an enormous heart.Copy !req
737. Literally,
he has an elephant heart.Copy !req
738. He had a transplant,Copy !req
739. When he was 17,
had some problems,Copy !req
740. Blah, blah, blah.
- Really?Copy !req
741. - No. Kevin doesn't have
an elephant heart.Copy !req
742. But he is very sensitive,
and it won't kill erinCopy !req
743. To just go and have lunch
with him in the break roomCopy !req
744. Like I promised him.Copy !req
745. I bet his heart
is enlarged, though.Copy !req
746. - I don't want anyone to die.Copy !req
747. - Well, just don't let him
sit on you.Copy !req
748. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.Copy !req
749. You'll have fun.
It'll be good. It'll be good.Copy !req
750. There he is.Copy !req
751. Go to him.Copy !req
752. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
753. - Hey, she touched my shoulder.Copy !req
754. - Hey, guys,
we're short on rooms,Copy !req
755. So this is dale and kathy.Copy !req
756. Hi.
- Hi. Sorry.Copy !req
757. - Hi. So sorry.Copy !req
758. - Oh... Careful.Copy !req
759. She just shoves
the nipple right in there.Copy !req
760. - I know.Copy !req
761. - Did you see that?Copy !req
762. I'm pretty sure she's...Copy !req
763. - Did you grow up
around here?Copy !req
764. - No.Copy !req
765. - So...Copy !req
766. You must have grown up
around somewhere else?Copy !req
767. - Yes.Copy !req
768. - Why was I hiding
behind the plant?Copy !req
769. Well, in college,
I took a botany class,Copy !req
770. And there was lots of drama
in that class.Copy !req
771. Uh, kids would gossip
about me,Copy !req
772. So I would eavesdrop on themCopy !req
773. By hiding behind
different plantsCopy !req
774. In the botany class.Copy !req
775. And then they would say
things like,Copy !req
776. "oh, this guy's
gonna fail this class,"Copy !req
777. Or, "what's this guy doingCopy !req
778. Spying on us
from behind plants?"Copy !req
779. And then I would jump out
at them and confront themCopy !req
780. And be like, "oh, you think
all I do is hide behind plantsCopy !req
781. And spy on people?"
busted.Copy !req
782. Oh... the reason?Copy !req
783. The reason I was hiding behind
that plant in this situationCopy !req
784. Was that I thought
that erin and kevinCopy !req
785. Were kind of
hitting it off, and...Copy !req
786. I was jealous.Copy !req
787. - Uh, hi.
Pam halpert.Copy !req
788. - Yes.
- Hi. I'm clarke.Copy !req
789. Josie said you might benefit
from a lactation consultant.Copy !req
790. - Um...
- Yep.Copy !req
791. - Yeah, that would be great.Copy !req
792. - Yeah, that would be
really great.Copy !req
793. - Okay.
- When's she available?Copy !req
794. - Actually,
I'm the consultant.Copy !req
795. "Got milk?"Copy !req
796. - All right...Copy !req
797. Let's see what
we're workin' with.Copy !req
798. - So, uh, the biggest thing...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
799. - Besides not being able
to get her to latch...Copy !req
800. - Here, I'll get that for you.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
801. - Is that, um, I can't tell
if I'm really producing.Copy !req
802. I-I don't know
if she's getting anything.Copy !req
803. - Let me feel here.
- Okay.Copy !req
804. - Yeah, it's quite full.Copy !req
805. Why don't you put your hand
on top of my hand?Copy !req
806. - Okay.
- When you're feeding,Copy !req
807. You want to press in like this,
make your hand in a "c".Copy !req
808. Does that hurt?
- No, I mean,Copy !req
809. It feels... Pressure.
- Sure it doesn't hurt?Copy !req
810. - No.
It just feels like pressure.Copy !req
811. - See how I'm flicking
the nipple?Copy !req
812. - Mm-hmm.
- Like that.Copy !req
813. - Yep.
- You can stimulate it.Copy !req
814. - Yep.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
815. - All right, so you just wanna
do that, and that will, uh...Copy !req
816. - Perfect.Copy !req
817. - The baby
should grab onto that.Copy !req
818. - I think she will.
- Okay.Copy !req
819. So I'm just not sure
if I'm releasing, though.Copy !req
820. - We'll figure it out...
Probably.Copy !req
821. - Why don't you bring
your baby over here?Copy !req
822. - Okay.Copy !req
823. - She's beautiful.Copy !req
824. - Oh, thank you.
- Yes. Congratulations.Copy !req
825. - Thank you.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
826. - Well, you're doing
a good job.Copy !req
827. Just stay relaxed, and...Copy !req
828. I'll come back in a bit
to check on you, okay?Copy !req
829. - Okay.
- Please do.Copy !req
830. - Oh, shoot.
- What?Copy !req
831. - Shoot. She fell off.Copy !req
832. - Oh. Uh, try... try
the torpedo thing.Copy !req
833. - Will you just... will you
grab clarke real quick?Copy !req
834. - No need.
I saw him do it.Copy !req
835. I can try it.
- Jim, please, please, please.Copy !req
836. I think it would be weird
if you did it.Copy !req
837. - That makes sense.Copy !req
838. I'll just...
Go get the other guy.Copy !req
839. - Hey, what's up, kid?Copy !req
840. - Have you had a chance
to look over the revisionsCopy !req
841. On the contract
I prepared for you?Copy !req
842. - Nothing left to do
except dot the "I's,Copy !req
843. The "j's, and the umlauts.Copy !req
844. Why don't you meet me hereCopy !req
845. At exactly
mid-late afternoon?Copy !req
846. - I look forward to it.Copy !req
847. - Very well.
- Good-bye.Copy !req
848. - Jim.
- Hmm.Copy !req
849. - Jim, get her.
- Hmm?Copy !req
850. - Get the baby.Copy !req
851. Get her, come on.Copy !req
852. - Okay. Shh, shh, shh.
I know, I know.Copy !req
853. - Thank you.
Okay.Copy !req
854. Come here.Copy !req
855. Oh, boy.Copy !req
856. - All right.
- I got her.Copy !req
857. Okay.Copy !req
858. - Jim.
- Hmm?Copy !req
859. - She latched.
She latched.Copy !req
860. - That's amazing.
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
861. I didn't even have to
do the "c" thing.Copy !req
862. - That's awesome.
- Oh, we're doing it.Copy !req
863. - That's great.Copy !req
864. - We're really parents now.
- Mm...Copy !req
865. - Kevin, erin would like
a few words with you.Copy !req
866. - Hey.
- Hi.Copy !req
867. - I have really enjoyed
our time together.Copy !req
868. - Yeah. Me too.Copy !req
869. - I wanna continue working
on our friendship...Copy !req
870. - It's been really,
really fun.Copy !req
871. - Because I think a friendshipCopy !req
872. Could be a really cool thing.
- Yeah, me too.Copy !req
873. - And you're my friend.
I hope that I'm your friend.Copy !req
874. - Yeah.
- Oh, my god, this is agoning.Copy !req
875. Look, kevin,Copy !req
876. Do you really think that
you could have dated erin?Copy !req
877. - You said she liked me.Copy !req
878. - Okay, even if someone
told you that,Copy !req
879. You should know that that
could never be possible, kevin.Copy !req
880. And I'm surprisedCopy !req
881. That you didn't question me
in the first place.Copy !req
882. - I've done better than erin.
- No, you haven't.Copy !req
883. - Lynn was way hotter
than erin, michael.Copy !req
884. - Lynn was as hot as erin.Copy !req
885. - Yeah, michael,
but you dated holly and jan,Copy !req
886. And they were
so much hotter than you.Copy !req
887. - This isn't about me,
and that is debatable.Copy !req
888. And I have a personality,
whereas you...Copy !req
889. Yes, andy?Copy !req
890. - Kev?Copy !req
891. Nice going.Copy !req
892. - Knock, knock.Copy !req
893. Oh, hey, isabel.Copy !req
894. - Pam, she's gorgeous.Copy !req
895. Oh, my... can I hold her?Copy !req
896. - Yes, yes.Copy !req
897. She was a little
fussy earlier,Copy !req
898. But she's totally
quieted down.Copy !req
899. Here, let me just, uh...
let me burp her.Copy !req
900. I don't want her
to spit up on you.Copy !req
901. - Look at you.
- Come here, sweetie.Copy !req
902. Oh, my god!
- What?Copy !req
903. - Wrong baby.
- What?Copy !req
904. - Wrong baby!
This is not our baby!Copy !req
905. - Oh, my god!Copy !req
906. - Okay, okay.
- Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
907. Has she been fussing long?Copy !req
908. - No. Not at all.
- Perfect.Copy !req
909. - I was out like a light.
Hey.Copy !req
910. She's not hungry.Copy !req
911. - How's it going?
- Well...Copy !req
912. I feel like she needs to eat,
but she just won't latch on,Copy !req
913. Which is weird,
because the other baby did it...Copy !req
914. - Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
915. - Bottles are fine.Copy !req
916. A lot of babies
grow up using bottles.Copy !req
917. So you excited
to take your baby home?Copy !req
918. - We definitely are.
At 3:00, right?Copy !req
919. You said we could stay
till 3:00?Copy !req
920. - Yeah, you can.
- Okay.Copy !req
921. - But it's 2:35.Copy !req
922. - Half hour.
- Well, 25 minutes.Copy !req
923. And you're all set
with the car seat?Copy !req
924. - Yes.
Car seat's right there.Copy !req
925. - That bottom part
needs to go in the car.Copy !req
926. - Newsflash... the whole thing
needs to go in the car.Copy !req
927. I'll be back in 25 minutes.Copy !req
928. - Or it could be a half hour,
if you need it to be.Copy !req
929. Can we get
a late checkout?Copy !req
930. I don't...
I don't think she heard me.Copy !req
931. - Hello?Copy !req
932. Dwight? What...Copy !req
933. What are you doing here?Copy !req
934. - Isabel. Hello.Copy !req
935. Yeah, the, uh...Copy !req
936. Kitchen
was disgusting, so...Copy !req
937. New cabinets.
- Yeah.Copy !req
938. - All I did was bring
macaroni and cheese.Copy !req
939. - Where's the fridge?Copy !req
940. - Oh, it's...
In the backyard.Copy !req
941. I'll take this.
- Oh.Copy !req
942. Well, I'll let you
get back to it.Copy !req
943. - Hey, listen, I know
that I'm an adult,Copy !req
944. But maybe I could come by
some time for a teeth cleaning,Copy !req
945. You know, just for fun.Copy !req
946. - Well, adults are supposed
to go to the dentist too.Copy !req
947. - Are they, now?Copy !req
948. How some people
spend their money.Copy !req
949. Right?Copy !req
950. Yeah.Copy !req
951. - All right.
I'll call you, kid.Copy !req
952. - Do that.Copy !req
953. - You really sure
we should be leaving?Copy !req
954. - But you hear
the baby crying, right?Copy !req
955. - Where's your car?Copy !req
956. - Uh, it's in the lot.Copy !req
957. - A lot of fathers
bring the car around.Copy !req
958. - Right. Okay. Yes.Copy !req
959. That'd be...
A smart thing to do.Copy !req
960. Uh, pam, I will be
right back.Copy !req
961. - Okay.
Please hurry.Copy !req
962. - Erin, uh...Copy !req
963. I need you to send this fax
immediately.Copy !req
964. It's really important,Copy !req
965. So I'm gonna stand here
and wait for the confirmation.Copy !req
966. - Okay.
Good.Copy !req
967. The fax says...Copy !req
968. "erin, will you
have dinner with me?Copy !req
969. From andy."Copy !req
970. And the number
is our office fax number.Copy !req
971. - It's busy.Copy !req
972. Why don't I keep trying,Copy !req
973. And then I'll give you
the confirmation in a bit?Copy !req
974. - Well, sorry.
That's unacceptable.Copy !req
975. I need you to send it
immediately,Copy !req
976. Or you're fired.Copy !req
977. - You can't talk to me
like that.Copy !req
978. I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
979. I've been having a tough day,
and it... it's just...Copy !req
980. - Oh, god, no.Copy !req
981. I'm...Copy !req
982. Just read the fax.Copy !req
983. - You read the fax!Copy !req
984. - I'm...Copy !req
985. I'm asking you out.Copy !req
986. - Oh, my god.Copy !req
987. That's amazing.Copy !req
988. Let me just fax this,Copy !req
989. And I'll check my planner.Copy !req
990. - So it's a date.
- Yes.Copy !req
991. Do you have a day in mind?
- Yeah, what day?Copy !req
992. What day?
- Every day's fine. Or...Copy !req
993. - Well, what's that one?
- Thursday?Copy !req
994. - Okay. Let's do it.
- Okay!Copy !req
995. - Would you like me to help you
up out of the chair?Copy !req
996. - Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Yeah, no, I got it.Copy !req
997. - Just got a lot
of discharges today.Copy !req
998. - Okay.Copy !req
999. Okay.
- All right, thanks.Copy !req
1000. - All right, thanks.
- All right.Copy !req
1001. You wanna eat?Copy !req
1002. Let's... you wanna try eating?Copy !req
1003. Okay. Come on.Copy !req
1004. Just you and me.Copy !req
1005. It's just you and me.
Come on.Copy !req
1006. Ready? Here we go.Copy !req
1007. Like that.Copy !req
1008. Oh, there we go.Copy !req
1009. You got it!Copy !req
1010. - There were five tickets
on the windshield.Copy !req
1011. Hey.
- Hi.Copy !req
1012. We did it.Copy !req
1013. - You used my move,
didn't you?Copy !req
1014. - I used a variation
of your move.Copy !req
1015. - There is no greater feelingCopy !req
1016. Than when two people
who are perfect for each otherCopy !req
1017. Overcome all obstacles
and find true love.Copy !req
1018. And that's what I thoughtCopy !req
1019. That erin and kevin
were gonna find today.Copy !req
1020. I think I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
1021. - Two forms of I.D., please.Copy !req
1022. - And now you...
two forms of I.D., please.Copy !req
1023. All right,
all is in order.Copy !req
1024. I just need your signature.Copy !req
1025. What is it?Copy !req
1026. - Nothing.Copy !req
1027. - All right.Copy !req
1028. How would you like
to celebrate?Copy !req
1029. - Just pour yourself
a cup of apple juice.Copy !req
1030. I feel sick.Copy !req
1031. - What...?Copy !req
1032. - I couldn't find your ipod.Copy !req
1033. Just give me a couple days...Copy !req
1034. Be out of your hair.Copy !req