1. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
2. Oh, what's this?Copy !req
3. That is a demerit.Copy !req
4. "Jim Halpert. Tardiness."Copy !req
5. Oh. I love it, already.Copy !req
6. You've got to learn, Jim.
You are a second in command,Copy !req
7. but that does not
put you above the law.Copy !req
8. Oh, I understand.Copy !req
9. And I also have
lots of questions.Copy !req
10. Like,
what does a demerit mean?Copy !req
11. Let's put it this way.
You do not want to
receive three of those.Copy !req
12. Lay it on me.Copy !req
13. Three demerits, and
you'll receive a citation.Copy !req
14. Now, that sounds serious.Copy !req
15. Oh, it is serious.Copy !req
16. Five citations, and you're
looking at a violation.Copy !req
17. Four of those,
and you'll receive
a verbal warning.Copy !req
18. Keep it up,
and you're looking
at a written warning.Copy !req
19. Two of those,
that will land you
in a world of hurt,Copy !req
20. in the form of
a disciplinary review,Copy !req
21. written up by me,
and placed on the desk
of my immediate superior.Copy !req
22. Which would be me.Copy !req
23. That is correct.Copy !req
24. Okay. I want a copy
on my desk by
the end of the dayCopy !req
25. or you will receive
a full desaggelation.Copy !req
26. What's a... What's that?Copy !req
27. Oh, you don't want to know.Copy !req
28. Hey, Phyllis.
Are you all right?Copy !req
29. I think I just got flashed.Copy !req
30. What? Really?Copy !req
31. In the parking lot.Copy !req
32. Oh, my God.Copy !req
33. Move!Copy !req
34. Okay,
I'll call the real police.Copy !req
35. What happened?
What can I do to help?Copy !req
36. Okay.Copy !req
37. I'll check the web.Copy !req
38. Thank you.Copy !req
39. The police are on it.Copy !req
40. They say they've
already had three calls.Copy !req
41. Can you tell us
what happened?Copy !req
42. I was walking to the building
and this man asked me
for directions.Copy !req
43. And he was holding a map.Copy !req
44. And when I walked over,
he had it out on the map.Copy !req
45. Phyllis.
You're a married woman.Copy !req
46. The guy was
just hanging brain.
I mean, what's all the fuss?Copy !req
47. If that's flashing,
then lock me up.Copy !req
48. It's just, like, so creepy.
Yeah.Copy !req
49. What's happening?Copy !req
50. Oh, some guy exposed himself
to Phyllis in the parking lot.Copy !req
51. Really? Is she okay?Copy !req
52. Yeah.
Bob Vance took her
for a walk to calm down.Copy !req
53. Okay.Copy !req
54. Phyllis, you say?Copy !req
55. What is so funny?Copy !req
56. I mean,
did he even see Pam?Copy !req
57. Or, Karen from behind?Copy !req
58. I'm guessing not.Copy !req
59. I'm sorry.Copy !req
60. It's pretty funny
when you think about it.Copy !req
61. Not really. No.Copy !req
62. It's disgusting and demeaning.Copy !req
63. Oh, okay.Copy !req
64. Masters of comedy,
a guy dropped his pants.Copy !req
65. Have you ever
been to the circus?Copy !req
66. Okay.Copy !req
67. He's back!Copy !req
68. Okay.Copy !req
69. Hey, what's going on?
There's a police car
in the...Copy !req
70. What?Copy !req
71. What's going on?Copy !req
72. Oh, Phyllis got flashed.
It's...Copy !req
73. I don't think
laughing about it
is an appropriate response.Copy !req
74. Oh, come on.Copy !req
75. We're laughing at Phyllis
but she's not even here.Copy !req
76. So, no harm, no foul.Copy !req
77. I don't think
the women in this office...Copy !req
78. Incidentally,
where were you
during all of this?Copy !req
79. Maybe you're the flasher.Copy !req
80. I was at a parent-teacher
conference.Copy !req
81. Prove it.
Let's see your penis.Copy !req
82. I... You know...Copy !req
83. As that was
coming out of my mouth,
I knew that it was wrong.Copy !req
84. In all the excitement,Copy !req
85. I forgot that my
primary goal is to
keep people safe.Copy !req
86. Women can't have fun
if they don't feel safe.Copy !req
87. For example,
Jan and I have a safe word
in case things go too far.Copy !req
88. Foliage.Copy !req
89. And if one
of us says that word,
the other one has to stop.Copy !req
90. Although last time,
she pretended
she didn't hear me.Copy !req
91. Michael, come over
after work tonight, okay?Copy !req
92. I miss your body.Copy !req
93. I don't know.
I feel... I drive a lot.Copy !req
94. I'm spending a fortune
on gas and tools.Copy !req
95. Okay. I'll give you $200.
And if I get up before you,
I'll leave it on the dresser.Copy !req
96. That... I don't know.Copy !req
97. That makes me
kind of uncomfortable.Copy !req
98. $300?Copy !req
99. Well... I don't know.Copy !req
100. Look, whatever.Copy !req
101. Just let my assistant know
if you're coming overCopy !req
102. so he can get more vodka.
Okay?Copy !req
103. Hunter, are you on?
You got it, Jan.Copy !req
104. The employees of this office
are very small and delicate.Copy !req
105. Deserve protection
from local pervs.Copy !req
106. Better a thousand
innocent men are locked upCopy !req
107. than one guilty man
roam free.Copy !req
108. I am sick over this thing.
Those people out there
are clearly afraid.Copy !req
109. And that can't happen.
Not in my house.Copy !req
110. Agreed.
Let me show you what
I've been working on.Copy !req
111. There are
several penises thereCopy !req
112. I'd love Phyllis
to run her eyes over.Copy !req
113. You know, see if we
can catch this pervert.Copy !req
114. This is the last thing
that Phyllis needs to
see right now, Dwight.Copy !req
115. Look at that one.Copy !req
116. Dwight,
are those your pants?Copy !req
117. That's a Polaroid.Copy !req
118. Attention, everybody.
Dwight has something
he would like to say.Copy !req
119. Due to a recent
incident involvingCopy !req
120. Phyllis, a man,
a map, and his penis,Copy !req
121. I think you know
what I'm referring to,Copy !req
122. Michael has authorized
me to form an emergency
anti-flashing task force.Copy !req
123. Question.
Won't that interfere
with your other task forces?Copy !req
124. Answer.
No, because this is
being given priority one.Copy !req
125. This is a petition
for the business parkCopy !req
126. to upgrade their
security camerasCopy !req
127. as well as install
two floodlights
in the parking lot.Copy !req
128. And I know what
you're thinking.Copy !req
129. Won't that just
shed more light
on the penises?Copy !req
130. But that is
a risk we have to take.Copy !req
131. Pam. You can draw, kind of.Copy !req
132. Why don't you work
with PhallusCopy !req
133. on drawing
a picture of the exposerCopy !req
134. that I can post
around the community?Copy !req
135. Phallus?Copy !req
136. Phyllis. Sorry.Copy !req
137. I've got
penises on the brain.
Back to work, everybody.Copy !req
138. I don't often miss Roy,
but I can tell you one thing.Copy !req
139. I wish someone had flashed me
when I was with Roy.Copy !req
140. Because that would have been
the ass-kicking of the year.Copy !req
141. Especially if it had been Jim.Copy !req
142. He would not have wanted me
to have seen Jim's...Copy !req
143. I'm...
I am saying a lot of things.Copy !req
144. I didn't really
get a good look.Copy !req
145. That's okay.Copy !req
146. I don't feel like
answering phones.Copy !req
147. Hey, did you guys
see this memo that
Dwight sent out?Copy !req
148. "Women will be sent home
if they wear makeupCopy !req
149. "or heels exceeding
one-quarter inch.Copy !req
150. "Females are not allowed
to speak to strangersCopy !req
151. "unless given
written authorization
by Dwight Schrute."Copy !req
152. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
153. Attention.
I am removing all
bananas from the kitchen.Copy !req
154. Dwight,
this memo that you
distributed is insulting.Copy !req
155. Desperate times call
for desperate measures.Copy !req
156. "Sleeves down to the wrists"?Copy !req
157. "Button-up collars
and muted colors."Copy !req
158. Nobody dresses like that.Copy !req
159. Okay.
You know something, Dwight?Copy !req
160. We are not the terrorists.Copy !req
161. Why don't you
just take these women,
put them in a burlap sack,Copy !req
162. and hit them with a stick?Copy !req
163. Because that's
what you're doing.Copy !req
164. I celebrate these women.Copy !req
165. They deserve the right
to dress as they please.Copy !req
166. If Pam wants to
show more cleavage,
she should be able to.Copy !req
167. I encourage that.Copy !req
168. Look, it's really simple.Copy !req
169. We just want you guys
to treat us with respect.Copy !req
170. See? That's what
we're talking about.
Did you hear that, Dwight?Copy !req
171. Yes.
Did you hear that, Michael?Copy !req
172. No, Dwight. Respect.Copy !req
173. R-E-S-P-C-T.
Find out what it means to me.Copy !req
174. All right.
You know what? That's it.Copy !req
175. Conference room. Five minutes.
Women's appreciation.Copy !req
176. Wait a second. How are
you qualified for that?Copy !req
177. Oh, I don't know, James.
Did I come from a woman?Copy !req
178. Have I slept with a woman?
More than one?Copy !req
179. Less than three.Copy !req
180. That is not current.Copy !req
181. You know what?
Why doesn't Oscar
run the meeting?Copy !req
182. He's a homosexual.Copy !req
183. Why don't you
run the meeting?
You play with dolls.Copy !req
184. Those are
collectible action figures.Copy !req
185. And they're worth
more than your car.Copy !req
186. You know what?
I am the expert.
I will conduct it.Copy !req
187. I know the crap out of women.Copy !req
188. I would like to apologizeCopy !req
189. for all the men who thought
this was a laughing matter.Copy !req
190. Are we still
discussing this?Copy !req
191. I say again,
what is the big deal?Copy !req
192. Nobody likes to be flashed.Copy !req
193. When Meredith flashed me
at that Christmas party,Copy !req
194. I nearly vomited.Copy !req
195. I don't remember doing that.Copy !req
196. What a surprise.Copy !req
197. Okay. No catfights.
Please? Let's...Copy !req
198. My point is...Copy !req
199. My point is...Copy !req
200. A penis, when seen
in the right context,Copy !req
201. is the most
wonderful sight for a woman.Copy !req
202. But in the wrong context,
it is like a monster movie.Copy !req
203. Alien.Copy !req
204. What? Shut it. Shut up.Copy !req
205. Okay. So, what I want
to engage us in today
is a hardcore discussionCopy !req
206. about women's problems
and issues and situations.Copy !req
207. Magazines and TV
shows and moviesCopy !req
208. portray women
as skinny, tall goddesses.Copy !req
209. Well, look around.
Are women like that?Copy !req
210. No. No, they are not.Copy !req
211. Even the hot ones
aren't really that skinny.Copy !req
212. So, what does that say?Copy !req
213. That says that you
women are up against it.Copy !req
214. And it is criminal.Copy !req
215. Society doesn't care.
Society sucks.Copy !req
216. I don't even consider myself
a part of society.Copy !req
217. F.Y.I. Because I am so
angry over all of this.Copy !req
218. If it were up to me,
you ladies would be
the fashion models.Copy !req
219. Yes, Andy.Copy !req
220. Then, the fashion models
could come here and work
with me.Copy !req
221. What you're saying
is extremely misogynistic.Copy !req
222. Yes.Copy !req
223. Thank you.Copy !req
224. That was not necessary,
but I appreciated it.
And it proves my point.Copy !req
225. Women can do anything.Copy !req
226. I'm saying that
you're being sexist.Copy !req
227. No. I'm being misogynistic.
That is insane.Copy !req
228. I am not being sexist.
That's the same thing.Copy !req
229. Michael.
Yes.Copy !req
230. When I got
my hair cut short,Copy !req
231. you asked me
if I was a lesbian.Copy !req
232. Because...Copy !req
233. That was one
possible explanationCopy !req
234. as to why
you got that haircut.Copy !req
235. And when we get mad,
you always ask us if
we're on our periods.Copy !req
236. I have to know whether
you're serious or not.Copy !req
237. I wish I could menstruate.Copy !req
238. If I could menstruate,
I wouldn't have to dealCopy !req
239. with idiotic calendars
anymore.Copy !req
240. I'd just be
able to count down
from my previous cycle.Copy !req
241. Plus, I'd be more in tune
with the moon and the tides.Copy !req
242. Can we just get back to work?Copy !req
243. Yes. Okay. Yes.Copy !req
244. This is not work talk.Copy !req
245. You're right. You're right.
And you know why?Copy !req
246. It's because of where we are.Copy !req
247. This is
a masculine environment.Copy !req
248. We need to find a place
where you feel comfortable.Copy !req
249. You know where
we're gonna go?Copy !req
250. Steamtown Mall.Copy !req
251. Frankly,
it's kind of insulting.Copy !req
252. But I have a bunch of stuff
I need to return in my car,Copy !req
253. so I can do that.Copy !req
254. Malls are just
awful and humiliating.Copy !req
255. They're just
store after storeCopy !req
256. of these
horrible sales peopleCopy !req
257. making
a big fuss out of an adult
shopping in a junior section.Copy !req
258. There are petite adults
who are sort of smallerCopy !req
259. who need to wear,
maybe, a kids' size 10.Copy !req
260. Okay! Let's go,
ladies of Dunder Mifflin.Copy !req
261. Hey, we should have
a calendar printed up.Copy !req
262. Pam, put that in
my good idea folder.Copy !req
263. Let's go!Copy !req
264. Are you finished
with the sketch?Copy !req
265. Yeah.Copy !req
266. Doesn't seem like the type.Copy !req
267. Phyllis got a good look.Copy !req
268. I plan on plastering this
pervert's face everywhere.Copy !req
269. You can run,
but you cannot hide.Copy !req
270. Meredith, slow down!Copy !req
271. We're not gonna get there
any faster if we're dead.Copy !req
272. Thanks. I know how to drive.Copy !req
273. Oh. Yeah.
You really shouldn't litter.Copy !req
274. My car. My rules.Copy !req
275. Hey, Jim.Copy !req
276. You want to go in
the women's bathroom?Copy !req
277. No. Thank you, though.Copy !req
278. You aren't curious?Copy !req
279. Not really.
I've seen a bathroom before.Copy !req
280. Yeah, but,
it's every guy's fantasy.Copy !req
281. I think you mean
a girl's locker room.Copy !req
282. And in the fantasy,
there's usually girls in it.Copy !req
283. Yeah.Copy !req
284. I'm going in.Copy !req
285. Go crazy.Copy !req
286. Oh, my God.Copy !req
287. I really appreciate
your letting me workCopy !req
288. alongside you
so closely today.Copy !req
289. Of course you do, moonface.Copy !req
290. That's because
you're a preppy freak,
you're the office pariah,Copy !req
291. and nobody likes you.Copy !req
292. So, start hanging these
all around the building.Copy !req
293. This guy looks
like a real deviant.Copy !req
294. No duh.Copy !req
295. That's why we've
got to catch him.
Start hanging those.Copy !req
296. Aye, aye, Captain.Copy !req
297. More like, aye, aye, General.Copy !req
298. I don't think
she's gonna make it.Copy !req
299. Don't think
she's gonna make it!Copy !req
300. It's a little too tight.
I'm gonna find another spot.Copy !req
301. Many women are
competent drivers.Copy !req
302. Okay. Come on.Copy !req
303. This is what we know.Copy !req
304. Well, I stand corrected.
This is pretty cool.Copy !req
305. Yes.Copy !req
306. Hey, where did you decide
to take Karen tonight?Copy !req
307. Anna Maria's.Copy !req
308. What's the occasion?Copy !req
309. Six-month anniversary.Copy !req
310. What?Copy !req
311. Nothing. I think,
we all kind of thoughtCopy !req
312. you guys were just,
like, hooking up.Copy !req
313. No. We've been
dating for six months.Copy !req
314. She might mention an e-mail
that I wrote a while back.Copy !req
315. Oh, right.
I remember that one.Copy !req
316. She read it to me.Copy !req
317. She said
she's not really readyCopy !req
318. to date somebody
in the office,Copy !req
319. but she really
likes you as a friend.Copy !req
320. I figured. That's cool.Copy !req
321. I wouldn't want to be in
an office relationship,
anyway.Copy !req
322. All right.
I hope nobody's on a diet.Copy !req
323. Thanks, Michael.
Thank you, Michael.Copy !req
324. You're welcome.
You're welcome.Copy !req
325. Okay.Copy !req
326. So. Let's dish.Copy !req
327. What do you
want to dish about?Copy !req
328. Anything you guys want.
This is your time.Copy !req
329. What is a Pap smear?Copy !req
330. Or is it shmear
like cream cheese?Copy !req
331. Okay. New topic.Copy !req
332. Kelly, how are
things with Ryan?Copy !req
333. Awesome.Copy !req
334. Awful, I mean.
But, sometimes awesome.Copy !req
335. What... What do you
think of role-play?Copy !req
336. It can be fun.Copy !req
337. Yeah?Copy !req
338. Well, Jan has this
schoolgirl fantasy.Copy !req
339. That's a pretty common one.Copy !req
340. I just...Copy !req
341. I feel uncomfortable
wearing the dress.Copy !req
342. Okay. I'm gonna be
at the doll store.Copy !req
343. Sometimes the clothes at
GapKids are just too flashy.Copy !req
344. So, I am forced to
go to the American
Girl storeCopy !req
345. and order clothes for
large colonial dolls.Copy !req
346. Michael,
you shouldn't do anythingCopy !req
347. that you're
uncomfortable with.Copy !req
348. Jan says anything
that doesn't scare us
is not worth doing.Copy !req
349. I don't know.
Maybe we're different people.
I like cuddling and spooningCopy !req
350. and she likes
videotaping us during sex.Copy !req
351. Oh, my God.Copy !req
352. And then, watching it
back right afterward
to improve my form.Copy !req
353. That is not healthy behavior.Copy !req
354. No. It's not that bad.Copy !req
355. The worst part is
that she shows itCopy !req
356. to her therapist
and they discuss it.Copy !req
357. Michael,
you need to
get out of this.Copy !req
358. No.
She's just fooling around.Copy !req
359. It's a woman thing.Copy !req
360. No. Normal women
don't do stuff like that.Copy !req
361. This is bad.Copy !req
362. No.Copy !req
363. No, that's all right.
I'm okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
364. You guys,
what am I gonna do about Jan?Copy !req
365. Done.Copy !req
366. Read the pros first.Copy !req
367. Okay.
"Jan is smart, successful.Copy !req
368. "Good clothes. Hot.Copy !req
369. "Perfect skin. Nice butt."Copy !req
370. She does have
very nice clothes.Copy !req
371. Okay, okay. Cons?Copy !req
372. Cons.Copy !req
373. "Wears too much makeup.Copy !req
374. "Breasts not anything
to write home about.Copy !req
375. "Insecure about body.Copy !req
376. "I'm unhappy
when I'm with her.Copy !req
377. "Flat-chested."
What was the last one?Copy !req
378. She's totally flat.
Shrunken chesticles.Copy !req
379. No. The one before that.Copy !req
380. "I'm unhappy
when I'm with her."Copy !req
381. Michael.Copy !req
382. You shouldn't be with someone
who doesn't make you happy.Copy !req
383. I'm happy sometimes.Copy !req
384. When we scrapbook.Copy !req
385. Or right towards
the end of having sex.Copy !req
386. Look, most relationships
have their rough patches.Copy !req
387. You just have to push
through it sometimes.Copy !req
388. Yeah. That's smart.Copy !req
389. Maybe.Copy !req
390. But it sounds like
you're just
wrong for each other.Copy !req
391. That sounds good, too.Copy !req
392. I don't know who's right.
I just don't.Copy !req
393. I don't know. I don't know.Copy !req
394. I bet you know.
Don't think. Just answer.Copy !req
395. What do you want
to do about Jan?Copy !req
396. I want to break up
with Jan.Copy !req
397. Wow!Copy !req
398. I want to break up with Jan.Copy !req
399. My mom taught me that.Copy !req
400. Wow!Copy !req
401. I cannot believe this
yogurt has no calories.Copy !req
402. No one said
it has no calories.Copy !req
403. Oh, hey, guys.Copy !req
404. I want to do
something nice for you,Copy !req
405. because you did something
so nice for me earlier.Copy !req
406. I want you to go in there.Copy !req
407. I want you to buy one item,
on me.Copy !req
408. As a thank you.
Come on. Get in here.Copy !req
409. Let's face it. Most guys
are from the Dark Ages.
They're cavemen.Copy !req
410. And they like a woman
to be showing her cleavageCopy !req
411. and to be wearing
eight-inch heels.Copy !req
412. And to be wearing
see-through underpants.Copy !req
413. But for me,Copy !req
414. a woman looks best
when she is just
absolutely naked.Copy !req
415. This is so great, huh?Copy !req
416. We should do this
much more often.Copy !req
417. I think we hang out
an appropriate amount of time.Copy !req
418. What are you doing in here?
This is the woman's room.Copy !req
419. You're in here.Copy !req
420. I pay for that privilege.Copy !req
421. Okay.Copy !req
422. I'm a pretty normal guy.Copy !req
423. I do one weird thing.Copy !req
424. I like to go in
the women's room
for number two.Copy !req
425. I've been
caught several times,
and I have paid dearly.Copy !req
426. You don't want anything?
My treat.Copy !req
427. Some panties, or...Copy !req
428. Like, a thong or
G-string, T-back?Copy !req
429. Get a nice bra.
Padded bra.Copy !req
430. See-through?
Push-up? Lace?
Thigh-high?Copy !req
431. Bustier?
Anything. It's just...Copy !req
432. You know what?
I would love to buy you
a fresh set of underwear.Copy !req
433. Phyllis?
What do you think? Too much?Copy !req
434. Jim's gonna love it.Copy !req
435. I'm kind of in between
boyfriends right now,Copy !req
436. so I don't need
anything sexy.Copy !req
437. But I do need
some new hand towels.Copy !req
438. I figure I can
cut up this robe.Copy !req
439. Slower.Copy !req
440. Slower.Copy !req
441. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
Meredith. Slow it up.Copy !req
442. Oh, no.Copy !req
443. It's Jan. What do I do?Copy !req
444. Answer it.
Don't answer it.Copy !req
445. Okay. It stopped.Copy !req
446. (TIRE BURSTS)
Oh, crap.Copy !req
447. That is pretty cool.Copy !req
448. Michael?
You know how to
change a wheel, right?Copy !req
449. Yeah. Yep.Copy !req
450. Can somebody
grab me the lever?Copy !req
451. And I will...Copy !req
452. Here. Meredith?Copy !req
453. Why don't you put
your hazards on?Copy !req
454. Yeah. Get your
hazards on for safety.Copy !req
455. Let's see.Copy !req
456. There we go!
Good. Yes. We have the...Copy !req
457. All right.Copy !req
458. I think I've got it.Copy !req
459. Do you have a Crescent?
A Crescent-Allen?Copy !req
460. I don't think we
really need that,
Michael.Copy !req
461. You know what?
I'm going to...Copy !req
462. You take care of that.
I'm gonna do traffic detail.Copy !req
463. You know?
I changed a tire today.Copy !req
464. All by myself.Copy !req
465. This bathrobe's
already coming in handy.Copy !req
466. (HORN HONKING)
Coming!Copy !req
467. Think we'll find him?Copy !req
468. Yeah, I do.
Because justice never rests.Copy !req
469. Halvsies?Copy !req
470. No. Wholesies.Copy !req
471. Listen, man.
I really appreciateCopy !req
472. you letting me
shadow you today.
I feel like I learned a lot.Copy !req
473. Natch.Copy !req
474. Yep. If you don't mind,
I think I'll hang up
some of these postersCopy !req
475. around my neighborhood,
schools, post office,
et cetera.Copy !req
476. You know?Copy !req
477. I may have
underestimated you.Copy !req
478. You're not a total ass.Copy !req
479. Okay.
I am really
going to do this.Copy !req
480. Good luck, Michael.Copy !req
481. You know what?
I need my girls with me.Copy !req
482. Pam, Karen, even Phyllis.
Come on.Copy !req
483. Let's do this.Copy !req
484. Let's do it.Copy !req
485. Okay. Remember. Be strong.Copy !req
486. I love you guys.Copy !req
487. No,
I'm getting her voicemail.Copy !req
488. Don't leave a...Copy !req
489. Hey, Jan. It's me. Michael.Copy !req
490. I'm just calling
to say that I think
we need a little break.Copy !req
491. Permanently.Copy !req
492. And,
I know everybody says this,
but I want to remain friends.Copy !req
493. Or, at least, business
associates who get along.Copy !req
494. Oh. Just so you know,
it's not me. It's you.Copy !req
495. Okay, buddy.
Somebody just walked in.Copy !req
496. I have to go.
So, I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
497. Michael. I was...Copy !req
498. I was really unhappy with
our conversation earlier.
And I...Copy !req
499. I just... I couldn't
stop thinking about it,Copy !req
500. so I decided that I
would drive down hereCopy !req
501. and apologize
to you in person.Copy !req
502. So...Copy !req
503. I'm sorry.Copy !req
504. Thank you.Copy !req
505. So, we're good?Copy !req
506. Abso-fruitly.Copy !req
507. (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Oh. Hold on. Sorry.Copy !req
508. No.Copy !req
509. Wait a second.Copy !req
510. Oh. It's from you.Copy !req
511. Want to grab some dinner?Copy !req
512. Hey, Jan. It's me. Michael.Copy !req
513. Yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
514. I'm just calling
to say that I think
we need a little break.Copy !req
515. Permanently.Copy !req
516. And, I know
everybody says this,Copy !req
517. but I want to remain friends.Copy !req
518. Maybe some Italian.Copy !req
519. Or, at least,
business associates...Copy !req
520. Chinese?Copy !req
521. get along.Copy !req
522. Oh. Just so you know,
it's not me. It's you.Copy !req
523. Okay, buddy...Copy !req
524. Any man who says
he totally understands
women is a fool.Copy !req
525. Because they are
un-understandable.Copy !req
526. There's a wishing
fountain at the mall,Copy !req
527. and I threw a coin in
for every woman in the worldCopy !req
528. and made a wish.Copy !req
529. I wished for Jan
to get over me.Copy !req
530. I wished for
Phyllis a plasma TV.Copy !req
531. I wished for Pam
to gain courage.Copy !req
532. I wished for Angela a heart
and for Kelly a brain.Copy !req
533. Michael. How can you
appreciate women so muchCopy !req
534. but also dump one of them?Copy !req
535. You mean,
how can I be so illogicalCopy !req
536. and flighty and unpredictable
and emotional?Copy !req
537. Well, maybe I learned
something from women
after all.Copy !req
538. Dunder Mifflin Paper I
Sex Predator Hotline.Copy !req
539. This is Dwight Schrute.
Hey, Dwight. It's Jim.Copy !req
540. Jim, what are you doing?
I'm busy.Copy !req
541. No. You're not.
I'm looking right at you.Copy !req
542. I'm hanging up.
Don't.Copy !req
543. I have information
about the sex predator.Copy !req
544. You have information
about the sex predator?Copy !req
545. I saw him two minutes ago.Copy !req
546. Where?Copy !req
547. In the women's bathroom,
above the sink.Copy !req
548. Anti-flashing task force!Copy !req
549. Above the sink.Copy !req
550. Above the sink.Copy !req
551. Pam!Copy !req