1. All right,
let's get started.
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2. Oh, first off,
we're supposed to be
pushing card stock this week.
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3. So, let's push
card stock this week.
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4. Also... What is this?
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5. Tape recorder.
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6. For what?
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7. For recording.
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8. Michael is on vacation
and he has asked me to
record all meetings
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9. and to type up
the transcripts.
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10. Okay. Karen,
any news from that law firm?
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11. Yeah,
the deal closed yesterday.
It's a six-month commitment.
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12. Oh, my God!
Dwight, what are you doing?
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13. What?
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14. You're not allowed
to take off your pants
in the middle of the office.
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15. I'm not.
Dwight, you know what,
just back off, okay?
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16. That's making
me uncomfortable.
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17. This is sexual harassment,
by the way.
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18. Oh, my God,
he's got a knife!
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19. I do not have a knife.
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20. No. Let the record show
that Dwight K. Schrute
is now completely nude
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21. and is holding
a plastic knife
to Stanley's neck?
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22. Let the record show
that Jim Halpert is a liar!
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23. Dwight Schrute is now
wearing a baby's bonnet.
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24. I am not.
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25. Oh, Jim Carrey
just walked in.
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26. Dwight, get his
autograph for Michael...
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27. Jim Carrey did not
just walk in, okay?
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28. Yes, he...
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29. Dwight,
what is that on your stomach?
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30. Is that a Muppet Babies
tattoo?
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31. Oh, my God,
Karen, you're right.
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32. That is Animal
from the Muppet Babies.
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33. You can't see my stomach...
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34. I am now chopping off
Phyllis' head with
a chain saw!
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35. Hey, mon!
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36. Hey.
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37. You have a bunch
of messages and...
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38. That's nice.
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39. Hannah quit
while you were gone.
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40. I guess she memoed
to file some complaints
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41. she had about
being a working mother,
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42. and so you might
also have to be deposed.
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43. Relax.
Just relax, okay?
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44. Okay.
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45. I'll get to all of it later.
It's kind of serious.
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46. Aren't you going to
ask me how Jamaica was?
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47. Say it. Ask me.
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48. How was Jamaica?
It was so good!
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49. Hey, mon!
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50. At Sandals, Jamaica,
when somebody says,
"Hey, mon,"
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51. everybody says,
"Hey, mon," back.
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52. Oh, Michael,
I'm glad you're here.
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53. Stanley. You know what?
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54. It is really good
to see you, too.
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55. My bonus check was $100
less than you promised.
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56. Okay, well, payroll is
in charge of all of that...
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57. They said
I should talk to you.
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58. Well, I am just
getting settled in.
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59. So I'm gonna...
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60. I am not doing
a lick more work
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61. until I get my
full bonus check.
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62. You are not as much fun
as your Jamaican brothers,
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63. mon.
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64. You wanna talk about it?
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65. Nope.
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66. I still haven't
found an apartment yet.
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67. I'm living in a hotel.
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68. Yesterday,
I saw a for-rent sign
down the street from Jim,
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69. and he said he didn't think
it'd be such a good idea.
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70. He said it would be
like we were living together
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71. in different houses,
two blocks away.
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72. Feelin' hot, hot, hot!
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73. Feelin' hot, hot, hot!
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74. Feelin' hot, hot, hot!
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75. Feelin' hot, hot, hot!
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76. That's all I know so far,
but I'm gonna keep practicing.
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77. It's good.
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78. You know, I had
never been out of
the country before now.
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79. I got to see how Jamaicans
live. It is great.
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80. You know, they just relax,
they party all the time.
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81. It's kind of
an impoverished country.
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82. Yeah.
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83. Gosh. Great.
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84. You know what, Pam?
Make a note.
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85. I want us all to start
having piña coladas
every day at 3:00.
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86. Well, you can't today.
We're doing inventory.
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87. Inventory's at
the end of December.
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88. We couldn't do it without you,
so we postponed.
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89. I specifically
went on vacation
so I would miss it.
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90. Inventory is boring.
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91. In the islands,
they don't make you do
stuff like take inventory.
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92. Why do you think
so many businesses
move to the Caymans?
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93. Tonight, we are going
to have an inventory luau.
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94. I want to bring back
a little slice of paradise
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95. to the Dunder Mifflin
Warehouse Inventory.
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96. So, Party Planning Committee,
get on it.
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97. By the end of the day?
That's impossible.
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98. The Jamaicans don't have
a word for "impossible".
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99. Yep, it's English.
It's "impossible".
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100. Michael, there's no
way we can do it in time.
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101. How hard is a luau?
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102. All you need are some
grass skirts, pineapple, poi,
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103. tiki torches, suckling pig,
some fire dancers.
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104. That's all you need.
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105. Come on in!
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106. Settle in.
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107. Settling...
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108. Settling...
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109. And settled. Good.
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110. There is something
I would like to
show everybody.
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111. See this sign?
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112. "No shirt.
No shoes. No problem."
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113. This is an attitude
I would like all of
you to have right here.
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114. So what
if we have to stay late
and do inventory? No problem.
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115. Oh, my God. Is that Jan?
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116. What?
Where?
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117. What?
On the left.
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118. No, no, no. That's...
Oh, my God...
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119. No, that's a German woman
named Urgle Grue.
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120. Jan told me to play it cool
and not tell anybody
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121. because it could
get us both in trouble.
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122. So, officially,
I did not see her.
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123. But I did see Jan there
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124. in our room
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125. at night
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126. and in the morning.
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127. And that's all I'm gonna say.
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128. Sex. Sex.
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129. We had sex.
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130. I had sex with her.
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131. I had sex with Jan.
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132. Hey, dude.
I just got back from Jamaica.
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133. Big whoop.
I was in Hotlanta.
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134. That whole town is waxed.
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135. Yeah, that sounds amazing,
but you know what?
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136. The lady, Jan Levinson,
wanted to go to Montego Bay.
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137. You took The Ice Queen?
I don't buy it.
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138. Well, I'm looking at a photo,
right now,
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139. and, I'm telling you,
it could be in Maxim.
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140. They wouldn't give
you a subscription
to Maxim.
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141. Oh, no?
No.
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142. Okay. Well,
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143. check this out.
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144. I'm sending you some e-mail.
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145. You got it?
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146. What? No, I got nothing.
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147. Check it again.
Hit refresh.
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148. Yeah, Mike, still nothing.
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149. Okay, wait a second.
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150. I sent it to you at
packer@dundermifflin.com...
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151. Packaging@dundermifflin.com...
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152. Uh-oh.
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153. Wait. I just got it
from somebody else.
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154. Wow!
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155. This is hot. Damn!
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156. How do I get you
out of this picture?
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157. Darryl?
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158. Hey. Hi, where's Darryl?
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159. He's in the office.
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160. Okay.
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161. Hi. Hey, man,
how's it going?
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162. All right.
What's up, Mike?
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163. That's great. Okay.
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164. So did you get
an e-mail from me?
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165. Yeah.
Okay.
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166. Well, that was supposed to
go to Packer, not Packaging.
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167. Did you already forward it
to a whole bunch of people?
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168. Uh-uh.
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169. Okay.
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170. Well, did you get
the second e-mail
that I sent
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171. explaining that
the first e-mail
was a mistake
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172. and that you
should delete it?
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173. Yep.
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174. Have you sent
that out to everyone?
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175. Mike,
I'm very busy down here.
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176. Yikes.
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177. Already sent it to you,
my friend.
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178. Fantastic.
Boring.
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179. Call me if she rolls over.
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180. Hey.
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181. Hey.
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182. You okay?
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183. Yeah.
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184. You sure?
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185. Yeah. Yes.
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186. I'm just in this, like,
stupid fight with Karen.
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187. Oh!
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188. You want to talk about it?
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189. Really?
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190. I have a special
assignment for you.
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191. Who's the target?
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192. A sensitive e-mail
has been released
into the office.
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193. It contains a file.
A picture.
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194. The filename is
Jamaica Jan Sun Princess.
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195. What's it of?
Not important.
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196. Unless you're willing
to tell me everything,
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197. I cannot accept
this assignment.
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198. Okay, then forget it.
Okay, I accept it.
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199. So, I don't know,
I just feel like we've
been dating a month, right?
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200. Same street,
I think that might
be a little close.
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201. A little bit much.
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202. What?
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203. How far away
does she live now,
like, 10 minutes?
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204. Yeah, I guess.
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205. Honestly, I think you
should go easy on her.
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206. No, I didn't mind helping
Jim with his problem.
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207. That's what friends do.
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208. I help Phyllis all the time.
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209. Just yesterday,
I untangled a piece
of tape from her hair.
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210. So, yeah.
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211. Hey, thanks a lot.
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212. Oh, don't worry about it.
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213. I mean,
it's better than listening
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214. to Michael
play a conch shell,
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215. which is what I was doing.
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216. Oh, also,
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217. Michael went to
Jamaica with Jan...
Yeah.
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218. How have we not
talked about this already?
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219. I mean, what happened there?
Kidnapping?
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220. Hey, I need to talk to you...
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221. Not now, not ever.
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222. about you and Jan.
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223. None of your business.
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224. I wish that were true,
but it... It...
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225. It seems from that
photo that two of you
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226. have entered into
an intimate relationship.
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227. That photo is
my personal property,
and if you are telling me
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228. that you went on my computer
and stole that photo,
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229. then I am going
to call the cops.
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230. Michael,
nine different people
e-mailed me that photo,
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231. including my ex-wife
and we don't talk.
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232. Well, this is probably
the icebreaker you need.
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233. You know,
for your own protection,
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234. you should disclose
the relationship to HR.
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235. I bet you would
love all the details,
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236. wouldn't you,
you skeevy little perv?
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237. All right. If you're
having a relationship
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238. with your superior,
you must disclose it.
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239. No, no.
No, I am not dating Jan.
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240. She was very clear
about that.
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241. Just two like souls
having a romantic time
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242. in the most
romantic place on Earth.
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243. Got enough, weirdo?
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244. All right, thanks, Michael.
Okay.
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245. Okay, we only have
three hours, people,
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246. to plan a whole luau
and you're not helping.
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247. What are
the ingredients of poi?
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248. I've called every
grocery store in Scranton
and no one sells whole pigs.
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249. Did you try
the petting zoo?
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250. Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
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251. Just a second. Michael?
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252. It's Jan on the phone.
Oh, God!
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253. No, no, no. Hang up. Hang up.
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254. Tell her I'm not here.
Don't... Don't...
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255. I've ran out of gas.
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256. I hit a deer. I hit...
I hit a deer with my car.
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257. No. I hit a cat.
Tell her I hit a cat.
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258. He'll call you back.
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259. Okay. Great.
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260. Do you think she bought it?
Okay.
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261. Okay.
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262. Michael hit a deer?
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263. Michael! Michael,
there's an emergency
in the warehouse.
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264. An accident?
Is somebody hurt?
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265. No, it's...
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266. It involves the photograph.
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267. Oh, God! No, no, no.
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268. Mike,
you're a rock star, man!
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269. You are the man!
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270. Yeah!
Well done!
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271. (MAN WHOOPING)
All right. Okay.
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272. Hit that corporate booty.
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273. Nice to hit it!
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274. Hello! Hi!
Attention, everyone.
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275. Apparently,
there is an e-mail
circulating around
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276. that contains a very
PG-13 rated picture
of me and a woman.
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277. Jan.
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278. No, Kevin, a woman.
Maybe Jan, maybe...
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279. Urgle Grue.
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280. My point is
that if you get it,
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281. I would ask that
you just delete it,
sight unseen.
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282. Let's be professional,
all right?
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283. Feelin'...
Feelin' hot, hot, hot
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284. Hey!
Hey.
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285. What are you doing out here?
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286. Island living, you know.
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287. Jan called.
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288. She's coming in
later to talk to you.
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289. Did she say what it's about?
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290. That's all she said.
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291. Olé, olé, olé
olé, olé, olé
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292. Olé, olé, olé
olé, olé, olé
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293. The people in the party,
hot, hot, hot
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294. I think you dropped this.
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295. You sure?
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296. Definitely.
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297. I have disconnected
the office T1 line.
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298. I have ordered
that be taken down.
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299. All right.
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300. I've destroyed all printouts
from the bathroom.
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301. There are copies
in the bathroom?
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302. There were a lot of them.
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303. All right.
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304. I think I owe you one.
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305. Sorry?
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306. For talking
sense into Halpert.
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307. The Days Inn Room 228
was staring to get
really depressing.
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308. Yeah, I know,
don't worry about it.
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309. I mean,
he was being ridiculous.
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310. Yeah. But thanks, seriously.
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311. Sure.
Okay.
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312. Yes!
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313. Yes, what'd I tell you?
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314. I knew he'd turn up.
You see that?
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315. This is the greatest night
of my life.
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316. Who did this to you?
Where is he?
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317. What?
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318. No. It's not... It's nothing.
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319. It's hot in here.
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320. Yeah.
Yeah.
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321. Thanks.
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322. You don't need to stay here.
I know.
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323. So you're PMSing
pretty bad, huh?
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324. Hello, everyone.
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325. Hello, Michael.
Hello.
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326. Hi, Jan. You look
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327. tan.
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328. I was in Scottsdale,
visiting my sister.
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329. Yeah? How was it?
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330. Very sunny.
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331. Family's important.
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332. Michael. I would
like to speak with you
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333. in your office, please.
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334. Okay. Yep.
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335. Why am I here, Michael?
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336. I...
In the last year,
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337. I've gone through a divorce,
an identity theft,
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338. a husband who
would not communicate.
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339. This is neither
here nor there.
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340. My psychiatrist
thinks that I have some
self-destructive tendencies,
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341. and that for once,
I should indulge them.
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342. Are you following me?
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343. Yes.
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344. I think I owe it to myself
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345. to find some kind of
happiness, you know?
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346. I mean, even...
Even if it means
lowering my expectations
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347. or redefining
the word itself.
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348. Okay, yeah...
This is the thing, you know?
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349. I am attracted to you.
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350. I don't... I don't
know why, I... But I am,
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351. and I need to
follow my instincts.
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352. At least, that's what
Dr. Perry thinks.
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353. Who's Dr. Perry? I...
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354. This is the point, okay?
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355. You're wrong for me.
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356. In...
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357. In every way.
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358. But I still...
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359. Well, I...
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360. find myself wanting
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361. to be with you.
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362. And I to you,
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363. in addition,
feel the same feelings
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364. that you are, as well.
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365. Good. Good.
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366. So, thanks for coming by.
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367. Yes...
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368. I...
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369. Oh. Good.
Okay.
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370. Okay.
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371. Thank you for
taking the time.
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372. Well, thanks for coming over.
I appreciate...
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373. Wait 15 minutes, okay?
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374. Then find an excuse and
meet me at your condo, okay?
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375. Okay.
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376. Jan?
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377. You complete me.
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378. Oh, God.
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379. Hey.
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380. You remember when we were
planning our honeymoon,
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381. and you wanted to go to Hawaii
and I wanted to go to Mexico?
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382. Yeah.
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383. I was definitely right.
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384. Oh, brother.
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385. What am I gonna do?
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386. I'm gonna hang it up at home.
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387. I don't have a lot of art.
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