1. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
2. Merry Christmas... No!Copy !req
3. Why did you
bring that here?Copy !req
4. Don't worry, she's dead.
Oh, wait.Copy !req
5. He's dead.Copy !req
6. Dwight? What...Copy !req
7. I accidentally
ran over it.Copy !req
8. It's a Christmas miracle.Copy !req
9. Well, get it out of here.Copy !req
10. Relax, okay? And
because this is Christmas,Copy !req
11. I am going to
roast this gooseCopy !req
12. and prepare it with
a wild rice dressing.Copy !req
13. Do we have any cayenne pepper
in the kitchen?Copy !req
14. Merry Christmas, Dwight.
Jim.Copy !req
15. Wow. What do we
got here?Copy !req
16. What does it look like?Copy !req
17. Dead goose.Copy !req
18. And circle gets the square.Copy !req
19. All right.Copy !req
20. So, can you watch this?
I'm gonna getCopy !req
21. my carving knife
out of the trunk.Copy !req
22. Oh, Dwight,
we talked about this.Copy !req
23. No, Toby,
this is different.Copy !req
24. He's already dead.Copy !req
25. Once I brought in a duck
to prepare for lunch,
and people got upset.Copy !req
26. Apparently they got
attached to the duckCopy !req
27. and didn't want
to see it killed.Copy !req
28. He was already dead,Copy !req
29. and we Schrutes
use every part
of the goose.Copy !req
30. The meat has a delicious,
smoky, rich flavor.Copy !req
31. Plus, you can use
the molten goose grease,Copy !req
32. and save it in
the refrigerator,Copy !req
33. thus saving you
a trip to the storeCopy !req
34. for a can of
expensive goose grease.Copy !req
35. Wow. Win-win.Copy !req
36. Exactly. Thank you, Jim.Copy !req
37. I like goose.
And it's already dead.Copy !req
38. Is it so crazy
if we eat it?Copy !req
39. That's crazy.
It's crazy.Copy !req
40. Dwight, you cannot
keep that here.Copy !req
41. Okay, that is ridiculous,
and totally against
the spirit of Christmas.Copy !req
42. Come on,
Dwight, we went over this,
like, for half an hour.Copy !req
43. It's Christmas, Toby.Copy !req
44. It's a dead animal in
our office. You can't...Copy !req
45. Toby...Copy !req
46. I'm sorry.Copy !req
47. Please. Please.Copy !req
48. Clean it in your car.Copy !req
49. I would like it
off my desk.Copy !req
50. Oh, Pam, take a chill pill.Copy !req
51. (SINGING) Deck the halls
with boughs of hollyCopy !req
52. Fa, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
53. 'Tis...Copy !req
54. Hey!
I would like a nice slice
of Christmas Pam.Copy !req
55. Side of candied Pams.Copy !req
56. And perhaps,
some Pam chops...Copy !req
57. Can I help you, Michael?Copy !req
58. with mint.Copy !req
59. I'm looking for
the Toy Drive box.Copy !req
60. It's behind you.
Okay.Copy !req
61. Well, I need to put
this bike in there.Copy !req
62. I hope it will fit,
with all these
little knick-knacks.Copy !req
63. Wow. What kind
of bike is that?Copy !req
64. I don't know.
Average kind.Copy !req
65. The tires look pretty worn.Copy !req
66. Well, that is
probably from the test drive.Copy !req
67. But the paint's chipping.Copy !req
68. Is that your
old bike, Michael?Copy !req
69. No.Copy !req
70. Yo, Michael.
Sweet ride, Mike.Copy !req
71. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
72. Yes?
Michael?Copy !req
73. Oh, Pam, that is so sweet.Copy !req
74. You didn't have to do that.Copy !req
75. I didn't.
It's from corporate.Copy !req
76. Okay. Did everybody
get one of these?Copy !req
77. Yep.Copy !req
78. Terrific. Good.Copy !req
79. This is going to be
the best Christmas ever.Copy !req
80. My girlfriend, Carole,
is coming to
our party tonightCopy !req
81. and I have
a little surprise for her.Copy !req
82. (SINGING) I've got two
tickets to paradiseCopy !req
83. Pack your bags
We're leaving
day after tomorrowCopy !req
84. I'm taking her
to Sandals,
Jamaica, all-inclusive.Copy !req
85. All-inclusive.Copy !req
86. You know what
that means, right?Copy !req
87. Yeah!Copy !req
88. I think you're
supposed to put a toy
in the box, Creed.Copy !req
89. And a happy holiday to you.Copy !req
90. Carole.Copy !req
91. Hi. Is Michael
around here?Copy !req
92. There she is!
A Christmas Carole. Hello.Copy !req
93. You're about five
hours early to the party.Copy !req
94. Oh, you're such a blonde.Copy !req
95. Michael...Copy !req
96. Hey, everybody?
I don't know who
you haven't met yet,Copy !req
97. but I think this
is one of them.Copy !req
98. This is my girlfriend,
Carole.Copy !req
99. This is just
the front of her.Copy !req
100. Show them the other side.Copy !req
101. What?Copy !req
102. Turn around.
Turn around. Come on.Copy !req
103. Get out of here!
No, you get out of here.Copy !req
104. Michael?
Yes.Copy !req
105. If I may say,
she's even prettier
than you described her.Copy !req
106. Oh, ouch! Michael,
I don't think
there's anything wrongCopy !req
107. with the way
you described her.Copy !req
108. Thank you.Copy !req
109. I really need
a moment alone with you.Copy !req
110. Not as much as I need
a moment alone with you.Copy !req
111. What is this?Copy !req
112. That is my Christmas card.Copy !req
113. It's a picture of you
and me and your kidsCopy !req
114. on a ski trip,
having a blast.Copy !req
115. "Ski-eason's Greetings."Copy !req
116. No. See,
we never went on a ski trip.Copy !req
117. I know. I know.Copy !req
118. I went on a ski trip...
Right.Copy !req
119. two years ago with my kids
and my ex-husband.Copy !req
120. Yes, but what you
didn't realize at the timeCopy !req
121. was that I was
with you, in a sense.Copy !req
122. I was in your heart...Copy !req
123. Michael...
and next to your kids.
What?Copy !req
124. This is so weird.Copy !req
125. I don't understand.Copy !req
126. It's a bold move to
Photoshop yourselfCopy !req
127. into a picture
with your girlfriend
and her kidsCopy !req
128. on a ski trip
with their real father.Copy !req
129. But then again,
Michael's a bold guy.Copy !req
130. Is "bold" the right word?Copy !req
131. I think you're
a really sweet guy.Copy !req
132. Okay.Copy !req
133. But I don't know
how to deal withCopy !req
134. this thing, and the proposal,Copy !req
135. and I don't think things
are gonna work out with us.Copy !req
136. No. No,
no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
137. You know what?Copy !req
138. You're not thinking straight.Copy !req
139. You know what you need?Copy !req
140. You need to think
this through in...Copy !req
141. "Jamaica's largest
freshwater pool!"Copy !req
142. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
143. I got us tickets
to Sandals, Jamaica.Copy !req
144. We leave day after tomorrow.Copy !req
145. You had better find
the skimpiest
bikini there is.Copy !req
146. Michael...Copy !req
147. And it's all-inclusive.Copy !req
148. Michael...Copy !req
149. Yes.Copy !req
150. I'm sorry.Copy !req
151. No... Carole?Copy !req
152. You walk out that
door and it is over.Copy !req
153. I know.Copy !req
154. Jim?Copy !req
155. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
156. I need to give you
your Christmas
gift now, because...Copy !req
157. Well, I'll just tell you.Copy !req
158. What?Copy !req
159. For the past few months,Copy !req
160. I've been
sending Dwight letters
from the CIA.Copy !req
161. Are you serious?Copy !req
162. They're considering him
for a top-secret mission.Copy !req
163. There's his application.Copy !req
164. Oh, and this is where
I made him list every secretCopy !req
165. he promised
he'd never, ever tell.Copy !req
166. "Last year,
my boss, Michael Scott,
took a day offCopy !req
167. "because he said
he had pneumonia,Copy !req
168. "but, really,
he was leaving early
to go to magic camp." Wow.Copy !req
169. So, here's the gift.Copy !req
170. You get to decide
what his
top-secret mission is.Copy !req
171. Sorry I didn't wrap it.Copy !req
172. You know what?Copy !req
173. I really don't
think I should beCopy !req
174. doing this stuff
anymore, though.Copy !req
175. No, just because
of the promotion.Copy !req
176. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
177. Just feels
a little bit like...Copy !req
178. No, I get it.
Of course. Okay.Copy !req
179. I feel like there's a chance
for me to start over.Copy !req
180. And if I fall back
into the same kind of
things I used to do,Copy !req
181. then what am I doing?Copy !req
182. I'd like
everybody's attention.Copy !req
183. Christmas is canceled.Copy !req
184. You can't cancel a holiday.Copy !req
185. Keep it up, Stanley,
and you'll lose New Year's.Copy !req
186. What does that mean?Copy !req
187. Jim, take New Year's
away from Stanley.Copy !req
188. Michael, what's going on?Copy !req
189. Carole and I split up.Copy !req
190. Amicably.Copy !req
191. And I just don't think
it would be appropriateCopy !req
192. to celebrate under
the circumstances.Copy !req
193. Will they still air Rudolph?Copy !req
194. That's not fair!Copy !req
195. Are we going to
cancel Hanukkah as well?Copy !req
196. Fine! Have your party.
Just no guests.Copy !req
197. But we invited guests.Copy !req
198. Well, you know what, Phyllis?Copy !req
199. All of your guests
would have probably canceledCopy !req
200. at the last minute anyway,Copy !req
201. leaving your life a stupid,
rotten mess.Copy !req
202. So. Okay.Copy !req
203. It hurts.Copy !req
204. I know.Copy !req
205. It hurts my heart.Copy !req
206. It hurts my stomach.Copy !req
207. It hurts my arms.Copy !req
208. Okay, well,
why are you laying like that?Copy !req
209. Thanks.Copy !req
210. How did you push
away the bad thoughts?Copy !req
211. Like what?Copy !req
212. Like maybe,
the real reason they leftCopy !req
213. was because
there were thingsCopy !req
214. they wanted you to
do in bed that were...Copy !req
215. What...Copy !req
216. foreign and scary?Copy !req
217. I...Copy !req
218. I don't really...Copy !req
219. And not that you
didn't want to try them.Copy !req
220. Some wine
might have helped.Copy !req
221. Do you know what
I'm referring to?Copy !req
222. I don't
need to know.Copy !req
223. Michael?
Yeah?Copy !req
224. Sorry to interrupt.Copy !req
225. It appears we're
one bathrobe short.Copy !req
226. Take it from Toby.
Copy.Copy !req
227. Pam, would you like to go
to Sandals, Jamaica with me?Copy !req
228. It's all... Okay.
No, thank you.Copy !req
229. Hey, Dwight.
Pretty nice robes. I...Copy !req
230. Why?Copy !req
231. Phyllis,
I need you to pick up
green streamers at lunch.Copy !req
232. I thought you said
green was whorish.Copy !req
233. No. Orange is whorish.Copy !req
234. So, I had
a couple of ideasCopy !req
235. to make the Stamford
people feel more at home.Copy !req
236. Each year we have
a Christmas raffle...Copy !req
237. Okay.
It would never work here.Copy !req
238. Okay.Copy !req
239. Another idea was karaoke.Copy !req
240. No.Copy !req
241. A Christmas drinking game.Copy !req
242. Yes!Copy !req
243. God help you.Copy !req
244. What?Copy !req
245. These are all
terrible ideas.Copy !req
246. And none of them
are on the theme
of a Nutcracker Christmas.Copy !req
247. I think you should leave.Copy !req
248. You're kidding.Copy !req
249. You tried this out,
and it's clearly not for you.Copy !req
250. It's time to go.Copy !req
251. Come on. Please? Thank you.Copy !req
252. Okay. Thank you very much.Copy !req
253. (MAN SINGING ON COMPUTER)
You touched my heart
you touched my soulCopy !req
254. You changed my
life and all my goalsCopy !req
255. I know you well
I know your smellCopy !req
256. What are you doing?Copy !req
257. We're getting
rid of everything
that reminds you of Carole.Copy !req
258. Hey, what's the haps?Copy !req
259. Carole?Copy !req
260. Oh, look at this.Copy !req
261. Your old condo
closing papers.Copy !req
262. It's riddled
with Carole's name.Copy !req
263. I wish I could
throw this in the box.Copy !req
264. You have been
the one for meCopy !req
265. Why don't you just
buy the whole song?Copy !req
266. I don't have to buy it.Copy !req
267. I just want to taste it.Copy !req
268. I just want... I just
want a little taste of it.Copy !req
269. Look at this,
she saved you $2,000Copy !req
270. because they
failed to report
a mold problem.Copy !req
271. But wouldn't that
affect the final...Copy !req
272. How did she...Copy !req
273. Oh, I see what she did.
That is good.Copy !req
274. Wow. That Carole
is one smart cookie.Copy !req
275. (SINGING) Goodbye my lover,
goodbye my friendCopy !req
276. You have been the oneCopy !req
277. You have been the one for meCopy !req
278. You touched my heart,
you touched my soul...Copy !req
279. This is an old adage.Copy !req
280. But they say that
when you find true love,Copy !req
281. you know within
the first 24 hours.Copy !req
282. With Carole,Copy !req
283. I knew within
the first 24 minutes
of the second day I met her.Copy !req
284. I feel like I've been
kind of cold to Karen.Copy !req
285. And there's no
real reason for it.Copy !req
286. I mean, it's not like
she's ever done
anything to me.Copy !req
287. So, I think I
probably shouldn't be
cold to her.Copy !req
288. Hey, Karen, sorry
about that meeting today.Copy !req
289. That was really crazy.Copy !req
290. Yeah, right?
I'm so glad you said that.Copy !req
291. Because I don't know
how those
meetings usually go.Copy !req
292. Usually like that.Copy !req
293. Does anyone ever
stand up to Angela? Or...Copy !req
294. I think one of
her cats did once.Copy !req
295. She came in with
scratches all over her face.Copy !req
296. Right.Copy !req
297. I really liked
your karaoke idea.Copy !req
298. Oh, cool, yeah.Copy !req
299. That could really be fun.Copy !req
300. You guys do a raffle?
Thank you.Copy !req
301. Yeah, we do a raffle.Copy !req
302. Hey, Kev.
Hey.Copy !req
303. This should have
been up yesterday.Copy !req
304. It'll be all right.Copy !req
305. What is that?Copy !req
306. "The Committee to
Plan Parties invites youCopy !req
307. "to a Margarita
- Karaoke-Christmas"?Copy !req
308. There's no such thing
as the Committee
to Plan Parties!Copy !req
309. There is now.
We just started it.Copy !req
310. Well, you can't
just start a committee.Copy !req
311. You have to have funding.Copy !req
312. What's your funding?Copy !req
313. Two hundred dollars.Copy !req
314. What's ours again?Copy !req
315. Two hundred and one dollars.
Right.Copy !req
316. Hey, a margarita-karaoke-
Christmas party.Copy !req
317. That sounds like fun.Copy !req
318. No. That is not a party.Copy !req
319. There is only one party,
and it's hostedCopy !req
320. by the Party
Planning Committee,Copy !req
321. and it starts at 3:00.Copy !req
322. Then why are
there two flyers?Copy !req
323. I understand that
this is confusing
for everyone. Let me explain.Copy !req
324. There's a party
that starts at 3:00...Copy !req
325. Right.Copy !req
326. and then there's
a way more fun party
that starts at 2:45.Copy !req
327. Right,
and if you're interested
in the way-more-fun party,Copy !req
328. all the info
can be found here,Copy !req
329. on our more
brightly colored flyer.Copy !req
330. I didn't see where it was.Copy !req
331. Yep, looks like
the Scranton people
and the Stamford peopleCopy !req
332. are finally coming together.Copy !req
333. And that's what
you want, right?Copy !req
334. I think that's really...Copy !req
335. Pam and Karen,Copy !req
336. I am ordering you
to cease and desistCopy !req
337. all party
planning immediately.Copy !req
338. You can't do that.Copy !req
339. As ranking number
three in this office,
I am order...Copy !req
340. I'm number three.
You're number four.Copy !req
341. Yeah, but I'm number three.
No.Copy !req
342. You must turn over to me
all Christmas decorationsCopy !req
343. and party
paraphernalia immediately.Copy !req
344. They will be returned
to you on January 4.Copy !req
345. Okay,
I think I can help here.Copy !req
346. Okay, good.Copy !req
347. As ranking number two,Copy !req
348. I am starting
a committee to determineCopy !req
349. the validity of
the two committees,Copy !req
350. and I am the sole member.Copy !req
351. The committee
will act on this now.Copy !req
352. Okay, this is stupid.Copy !req
353. Could you
please keep it down?Copy !req
354. I'm in session.Copy !req
355. I have determined
that this committee is valid.Copy !req
356. What? No! Yeah!
No! Wait! Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
357. Permission to join
the Validity Committee.Copy !req
358. Permission denied.Copy !req
359. Damn it.Copy !req
360. Hey. I can't concentrate
when I know
you're in pain, man.Copy !req
361. Let me take you to lunch.Copy !req
362. Come on! My treat.Copy !req
363. All right.Copy !req
364. Nothing here to
distract myself with anyway.Copy !req
365. That's my boy.Copy !req
366. I know
the perfect place, too.Copy !req
367. Hooters?Copy !req
368. No. Benihana.
Much classier.Copy !req
369. But don't worry,
the babes are
totally hot, too.Copy !req
370. I need my entourage.Copy !req
371. Jim! Dwight! Ryan. Come on.Copy !req
372. We're going to Asian Hooters.Copy !req
373. Oh, man, I can't.
Why not?Copy !req
374. I'm not feeling so well.Copy !req
375. I got a ton of
work to do here.Copy !req
376. MSG allergy, peanut allergy.Copy !req
377. I just ate there last night.Copy !req
378. All right. Feel better.
Thanks.Copy !req
379. Come on, Jim, let's go.Copy !req
380. Okay.Copy !req
381. Wow! Thanks for taking
all the excuses, dude.Copy !req
382. Doctor appointment.
Car trouble.
Planter warts.Copy !req
383. Granddad fought
in World War II.Copy !req
384. Use your head, man.
I keep mine in here.Copy !req
385. Look alive, Halpert.
Welcome back.Copy !req
386. Bros before hos. Why?Copy !req
387. Because your bros are
always there for you.Copy !req
388. They have got your backCopy !req
389. after your ho
rips your heart out
for no good reason.Copy !req
390. And you were nothing
but great to your ho,Copy !req
391. and you told her
that she was
the only ho for you,Copy !req
392. and that she was better
than all the other
hos in the world.Copy !req
393. And then...Copy !req
394. Then suddenly she's
not your ho no mo'!Copy !req
395. So she looks
really hot, so I said,Copy !req
396. "You look hotter
than usual today."
Thank you.Copy !req
397. Michael?Copy !req
398. Head of the table.
May I?Copy !req
399. Actually, sir,Copy !req
400. I'm going to need to
take this chair, so...Copy !req
401. Dwight, just leave him.Copy !req
402. Leave them alone, please.Copy !req
403. They are on a date.
They look very happy.Copy !req
404. So she looks at me,
right, and she goes,Copy !req
405. "I'm sorry.
Do I even know you?"Copy !req
406. After a year!Copy !req
407. A year of buying
lattes from her.Copy !req
408. Do you believe that?Copy !req
409. Yes.Copy !req
410. I can't hear
what you're saying.Copy !req
411. Carole used to drink lattes.Copy !req
412. Who're you talking about?Copy !req
413. She would get this
little foam mustache...Copy !req
414. Carole had a mustache?Copy !req
415. and I used to say,
"Hey, got latte?"Copy !req
416. And she'd say,
"That's not funny."Copy !req
417. What are you
guys talking about?Copy !req
418. She totally got me.
She understoodCopy !req
419. that we didn't
have to laugh...
Michael?Copy !req
420. to enjoy each other.
Michael.Copy !req
421. What?Copy !req
422. Repeat what you said louder!Copy !req
423. It is my job to be
there for Michael.Copy !req
424. How can I be
there for MichaelCopy !req
425. if I'm here for Michael?Copy !req
426. I'm already
starting to forget
what color eyes she had.Copy !req
427. I can't...
Okay, I'm gonna call her.Copy !req
428. I am going to
call and find out...
No!Copy !req
429. Who are you calling?Copy !req
430. Put it away.
Put that away.Copy !req
431. I'm going to call her.Copy !req
432. SOS! We...
Hi. Mayday!Copy !req
433. Man down over here.
We need your help.Copy !req
434. What can I get for you?Copy !req
435. I think we'll start
with a round of Nagasakis.Copy !req
436. One part eggnog,
three parts sake.Copy !req
437. Some places won't
make it for you, though,
because eggnog is seasonal.Copy !req
438. You should put out
salt for the rims.Copy !req
439. That's a great idea.Copy !req
440. Phyllis?Copy !req
441. I was just getting a snack.Copy !req
442. You can have
your snack in here.Copy !req
443. Pam, don't tell her
what to do. Phyllis?Copy !req
444. Okay.Copy !req
445. I think I'll go
to Angela's party,Copy !req
446. because that's
the party I know.Copy !req
447. I miss the days
when there was only one party
I didn't want to go to.Copy !req
448. So, I only use three?Copy !req
449. If you're using
more than three pieces of tape
to wrap a present,Copy !req
450. you're doing it wrong.Copy !req
451. Okay. And where'd you get
all those cool bows?Copy !req
452. Oh, I just get those
at any party supply place.Copy !req
453. Okay.Copy !req
454. Are you sure I
can't use, like,Copy !req
455. the cartoons
from the newspaper?Copy !req
456. Oh, yeah,
your mom will love that.Copy !req
457. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
458. All right,
I'll see you guys later.Copy !req
459. Bye.Copy !req
460. He's cute.
You should date him.Copy !req
461. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
462. Looks like you got
a little Nakiri knife action
going there.Copy !req
463. No, is Usuba.Copy !req
464. Yeah, I bet you wish you had
a Nakiri, though.Copy !req
465. Actually,
the Usuba is the better knifeCopy !req
466. when you working
with this quantity.Copy !req
467. I don't know.
Still think Nakiri's better.Copy !req
468. I think he'd know.Copy !req
469. Nothing he's doing
is cheering me up.Copy !req
470. Wait for the onion.
Trust me.Copy !req
471. Hey, Cindy,Copy !req
472. he just had his heart broken.Copy !req
473. You wouldn't do
that to him, would you?Copy !req
474. I don't know.Copy !req
475. Sure you would!
Look at you.Copy !req
476. I bet you break up
with a guy every hour.Copy !req
477. You made her laugh! Yes!Copy !req
478. She totally digs us.Copy !req
479. Watch. Watch. Watch.Copy !req
480. What did I tell you?Copy !req
481. You're right. That's good.Copy !req
482. Hello, everyone.Copy !req
483. We would just
like to announce thatCopy !req
484. our party is starting
now in the break room.Copy !req
485. So...Copy !req
486. I have a very
important announcement
to make about your paychecks.Copy !req
487. Your paychecks
will be arriving,
as scheduled, on Friday.Copy !req
488. And they will be in
the correct amount
that they normally are in.Copy !req
489. Please stand by
for a very
important announcementCopy !req
490. further
regarding your paycheck!Copy !req
491. I need to know if I
can start the party.Copy !req
492. Michael.Copy !req
493. Hey!Copy !req
494. Over here! Michael!Copy !req
495. It's...Copy !req
496. I don't know.
No one can hear me.Copy !req
497. You know what?
Start the party.Copy !req
498. Did Michael give you
permission to do this?Copy !req
499. Start the party.Copy !req
500. Also, I would like
to inform youCopy !req
501. that, as a special treat,
my party will be
starting early.Copy !req
502. In fact, it will be
starting right now.Copy !req
503. Our party is
also starting now.
Yeah.Copy !req
504. All right, Stanley!
Good choice!Copy !req
505. Welcome, Hannah!Copy !req
506. You will not be disappointed!Copy !req
507. Why would I be disappointed?Copy !req
508. I said you
wouldn't be disappointed.Copy !req
509. Meredith, if you
don't come to my party,
you will be very, very sorry.Copy !req
510. That a threat?Copy !req
511. No, it's an invitation.Copy !req
512. We have vodka!Copy !req
513. Lots of it.Copy !req
514. I hear Angela's party
will have
double-fudge brownies.Copy !req
515. It will also have Angela.Copy !req
516. So double-fudge, Angela.Copy !req
517. Double-fudge,Copy !req
518. Angela.Copy !req
519. Brownies. Cupcakes.Copy !req
520. Don't push it.Copy !req
521. Are we taking this
too far?Copy !req
522. You know what,
I don't think we're
taking this far enough.Copy !req
523. What?Copy !req
524. I got goosebumps.Copy !req
525. I don't back down.Copy !req
526. My sister and I used
to be best friends,Copy !req
527. and we haven't
talked in 16 yearsCopy !req
528. over some disagreement
I don't even remember.Copy !req
529. So...Copy !req
530. Yeah, I'm pretty good.Copy !req
531. Mmm.Copy !req
532. Damn, this chicken is good!Copy !req
533. My compliments to the chef,
which is you!Copy !req
534. Right?Copy !req
535. Awesome! I need some meat.Copy !req
536. I want some steak.Copy !req
537. That guy's got steak.
I see steak!Copy !req
538. Excuse me.
Excuse me.Copy !req
539. En garde!Copy !req
540. It's family style.Copy !req
541. No. It's not.Copy !req
542. Cindy! Cindy.Copy !req
543. I love steak. I love it!Copy !req
544. I want you to close your eyes
and imagine your dream house.Copy !req
545. Come on!
Do it for Michael.Copy !req
546. He's had a really
long day.Copy !req
547. What're you doing?Copy !req
548. This is great.Copy !req
549. Jim! Jim!
Okay...Copy !req
550. Cindy, you are so...Copy !req
551. What...Copy !req
552. What's happening?Copy !req
553. She's asleep.Copy !req
554. Narcolepsy.
Probably.Copy !req
555. Okay. Now, open your eyes
and describe it to me.Copy !req
556. I don't know.Copy !req
557. It has four
bedrooms and a loft.Copy !req
558. Oh, my God! Now she's up.
Yeah.Copy !req
559. And she's trying to describe
how to correctly
butcher a goose.Copy !req
560. But she's having
trouble coming up with it.Copy !req
561. Okay. Cindy! Yo!
Cindy! Cindy!Copy !req
562. Hold its neck back,
insert the knife
beneath the jaw,Copy !req
563. bring it all the way around.Copy !req
564. There's gonna be
a good amount of blood.Copy !req
565. But don't let
that bother you.Copy !req
566. Have a bucket
there for the blood,Copy !req
567. and the innards,
and the feathers.Copy !req
568. Oh, no, this is different.Copy !req
569. The CIA thing,
that was a prank on Dwight.Copy !req
570. This is more like a...Copy !req
571. Okay. It's pretty
much the same thing.Copy !req
572. What do you think?Copy !req
573. Fruity, and delicious.Copy !req
574. See, I told you.
You want one, Meredith?Copy !req
575. No, thanks.
They're too sweet.Copy !req
576. Hey, so, what's the status?Copy !req
577. It looks like they
forgot the power cord.Copy !req
578. What?
Oh, you're kidding me!Copy !req
579. No.
Oh, God.Copy !req
580. You guys... Guys?Copy !req
581. I'm sorry,
but there's a problem
with the karaoke machine.Copy !req
582. What?
Well, that blows!Copy !req
583. Hang on, little ladies.Copy !req
584. You don't need this thing.Copy !req
585. I'll go grab my synthesizer.Copy !req
586. All right!Copy !req
587. Yeah, Darryl!Copy !req
588. Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!Copy !req
589. Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!Copy !req
590. Hi.
Hey.Copy !req
591. Hey, look,
when you get done
with your meeting,Copy !req
592. you should come
to the break room.Copy !req
593. We having a party.Copy !req
594. Oh, okay.Copy !req
595. All right. See y'all.Copy !req
596. These nuts are
really hard to crack.Copy !req
597. Try harder, then.Copy !req
598. No one has seconds
until everyone's
had some.Copy !req
599. You've got to be kidding!Copy !req
600. You've got
to be kidding!Copy !req
601. Cold, huh?Copy !req
602. That'll help.Copy !req
603. Is it cold in there?Copy !req
604. They have been
checking us out all night!Copy !req
605. I'm not kidding!Copy !req
606. You know what we should do?
What?Copy !req
607. We should invite them
to the Christmas party.Copy !req
608. Now you are
thinking! Yes!Copy !req
609. And you know what?Copy !req
610. Because you've had
such a rough day,
you get Cindy.Copy !req
611. You are such a mensch,
my friend.Copy !req
612. Okay! Where is everybody?Copy !req
613. I would like them to
meet my new girlfriend.Copy !req
614. I'm sure they'll
want to meet her, too.Copy !req
615. The least I could do
was give some
poor sick kid a bike.Copy !req
616. That rocks.Copy !req
617. Yeah, you rock.Copy !req
618. Tell you what,
if you want it, it's yours.Copy !req
619. Thanks!Copy !req
620. I wanna give you something.Copy !req
621. Oh!Copy !req
622. That's what she said.Copy !req
623. Hello! I would like everybody
to meet my new girlfriend.Copy !req
624. And my new girlfriend.Copy !req
625. Where's Dwight?Copy !req
626. Is he the hot one
or the giant baby?Copy !req
627. The giant baby.Copy !req
628. Wow. I am so sorry.Copy !req
629. I had no idea this
party'd be so lame.Copy !req
630. There's another
party in the break room.Copy !req
631. Oh, party in the break room!
Let's go!Copy !req
632. Let's go. Thank God.Copy !req
633. Let's go to the break room!
Excuse me!Copy !req
634. Waitress lady! Hey!Copy !req
635. Where do you think
you're going with that?Copy !req
636. I thought I could have it.Copy !req
637. No, you can't have it!Copy !req
638. I don't walk into your house
and steal your
Hello Kitty backpack!Copy !req
639. Shut it!Copy !req
640. Come on. Party.Copy !req
641. Hey! It's Angela!Copy !req
642. Hey...Copy !req
643. We're going to the...Copy !req
644. (SINGING) I want you to knowCopy !req
645. That I'm happy for youCopy !req
646. I wish nothing but...Copy !req
647. I just think that there are
two specific kinds of
people in the world.Copy !req
648. People who own houses,
and people who own condos.Copy !req
649. And my question to
you is, do you agree?Copy !req
650. Do I agree about what?Copy !req
651. "Do you agree about what?"Copy !req
652. Wow! You're lucky
you're so darn cute.Copy !req
653. What're you
talking about?Copy !req
654. What are you talking about?Copy !req
655. (KEVIN SINGING)
And I'm here to remind youCopy !req
656. Of the mess you
left when you went awayCopy !req
657. It's not fair to deny meCopy !req
658. Of the cross I bear
that you gave to meCopy !req
659. You,
you, you, you, you, you, you
Oughta know!Copy !req
660. Nice. Way to go, Kev!Copy !req
661. Good work!
Yeah!Copy !req
662. Did you have
fun at Benihana's?Copy !req
663. No!Copy !req
664. It was awful.
I couldn't hear anything.Copy !req
665. I've had
the worst day here.Copy !req
666. Dwight, you won the raffle.Copy !req
667. No way! Yeah!Copy !req
668. Open it. Open it.Copy !req
669. Do you like it?Copy !req
670. Walkie-talkies.Copy !req
671. Can I talk to
you for a second?
Yes!Copy !req
672. Well, the Committee
to Plan Parties
has served its purpose.Copy !req
673. We're gonna disband
in the name of Christmas.Copy !req
674. In the name of
Nutcracker Christmas.Copy !req
675. Angela?Copy !req
676. We've been hearing
really great things
about your brownies,Copy !req
677. and we were hoping
you'd consider
merging the two parties.Copy !req
678. I'm not sure.Copy !req
679. Does your karaoke machine
have Christmas songs?Copy !req
680. Yeah, but we don't
have a power cord.Copy !req
681. I may have seen it somewhere.Copy !req
682. Is it this one?Copy !req
683. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
684. We'll go tell everyone.Copy !req
685. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
686. (BO TH SINGING)
And if you want loveCopy !req
687. We'll make itCopy !req
688. Swim in a big seaCopy !req
689. of blanketsCopy !req
690. Take all your big plansCopy !req
691. And break 'emCopy !req
692. This is bound to take a whileCopy !req
693. your body is a wonderlandCopy !req
694. Your body is a wonderlandCopy !req
695. Your handsCopy !req
696. Your body is a wonderlandCopy !req
697. I'll use my hands on itCopy !req
698. Something 'bout the way
your hair falls in your faceCopy !req
699. (SINGING)
Whatever we deny or embraceCopy !req
700. For worse or for betterCopy !req
701. We belong, we belongCopy !req
702. We belong together, RyanCopy !req
703. When you know, you just know.Copy !req
704. Right?Copy !req
705. Right.
Check her out.Copy !req
706. Which one?Copy !req
707. My little gal over there?
Babelectable.Copy !req
708. Which one is she?Copy !req
709. It's the...
It's one of those two.Copy !req
710. You don't know?Copy !req
711. Dude, you should know.Copy !req
712. Yeah, well, it's been hard.
They're wearing
the exact same uniform,Copy !req
713. and I've been drinking,Copy !req
714. and, you know how all
waitresses look alike.Copy !req
715. I honestly don't see
what the big deal is.Copy !req
716. Stevie Wonder is married.Copy !req
717. Are you going to tell meCopy !req
718. that Stevie Wonder
doesn't love his wifeCopy !req
719. just because he's not sure
what she looks like?Copy !req
720. Hey!Copy !req
721. Where's my girl?Copy !req
722. Is she in the fridge?Copy !req
723. Where is she hiding?Copy !req
724. I don't know where she is!Copy !req
725. 'Cause I'm drunk.
I can't even find her.Copy !req
726. You know where I am.Copy !req
727. I do!Copy !req
728. Hi! I just haven't
hugged you in a while.Copy !req
729. Good. That felt good.
Let's go. Party!Copy !req
730. (SINGING) Spinning and
reeling with loveCopy !req
731. Given the time
I might come back downCopy !req
732. But it feels so goodCopy !req
733. My feet don't
touch the groundCopy !req
734. Well, everybody knows
I'm crazy about youCopy !req
735. Monkey, this is possum.
Do you copy?Copy !req
736. Copy, possum.
What's your 20?Copy !req
737. No way.Copy !req
738. What a horrible,
horrible movie that was.Copy !req
739. And now we get to
remember it forever.Copy !req
740. Thank you.
Thank you.Copy !req
741. Hey!Copy !req
742. Hey, you!Copy !req
743. How are you?Copy !req
744. This party blows,
so we're gonna leave.Copy !req
745. No, no, no.
Hey, you should stay,Copy !req
746. because we are
having fun, and...Copy !req
747. Cool.
Where do you wanna go?Copy !req
748. We're just gonna take off.Copy !req
749. You know what?
I... Okay, listen.Copy !req
750. I like you.Copy !req
751. I really like you.Copy !req
752. So much, in fact,
that I would like you
to accompany meCopy !req
753. on a trip to Sandals,
Jamaica.Copy !req
754. Nah, I have school.Copy !req
755. Can I help? Okay.Copy !req
756. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
757. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
758. (SINGING) Lady,
from the moment I saw youCopy !req
759. Standing all aloneCopy !req
760. You gave all
the love that I neededCopy !req
761. That waitress was the one.Copy !req
762. No, she wasn't.Copy !req
763. How can you be sure?Copy !req
764. Well, for starters,
I've known you as a coupleCopy !req
765. since the beginning
of the relationship,Copy !req
766. which was
approximately
three hours ago...Copy !req
767. Don't make fun of me.Copy !req
768. You're making fun of me.Copy !req
769. Sorry.Copy !req
770. I guess I didn't
know her very well.Copy !req
771. I marked her arm.Copy !req
772. You what?Copy !req
773. I put a mark on her armCopy !req
774. so I could tell them apart.Copy !req
775. I don't... I know. I know.Copy !req
776. I can't believe I
gave her my bike.Copy !req
777. (GROANS)
Yeah.Copy !req
778. Why do I feel like crap?Copy !req
779. You just had a rebound.Copy !req
780. I had a rebound.Copy !req
781. Yeah.Copy !req
782. Which, don't get me wrong,
can be a really
fun distraction.Copy !req
783. But, when it's over,Copy !req
784. you're left thinking
about the girl
you really like,Copy !req
785. the one that
broke your heart.Copy !req
786. I totally rebounded.Copy !req
787. Someone else shoots,
and I take
the ball and I score.Copy !req
788. Well, I guess I
didn't really score,Copy !req
789. and I'm not sure
who is actually shooting,
but...Copy !req
790. Whatever!Copy !req
791. Doesn't matter.
It's all good.Copy !req
792. Or, as my ex might say,Copy !req
793. "Domo arigato, Mr. Scotto!"Copy !req
794. (SINGING) Little baby
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
795. I am a poor boy, too
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
796. I have no gift to bring
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
797. That's fit to give a king
Pa rum pum pum pum...Copy !req
798. Yeah. Yes,
I just wanted to seeCopy !req
799. if you would like
to come to Jamaica
with me.Copy !req
800. There's this
resort called Sandals.Copy !req
801. Really?Copy !req
802. Okay. All right.Copy !req
803. I promise you
won't be disappointed.Copy !req
804. It's all-inclusive.Copy !req
805. Shall I play for you?
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
806. Too soon.Copy !req
807. I played my drum for Him
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
808. I played my best for Him
Pa rum pum pum pumCopy !req
809. Rum pum pum pumCopy !req
810. Rum pum pum pumCopy !req
811. Night, Pam.Copy !req
812. Night.Copy !req
813. Oh, you know what?Copy !req
814. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.
I intercepted
a transmission earlier,Copy !req
815. and it seems that the CIA
is gonna need DwightCopy !req
816. down in their headquarters
at Langley for trainingCopy !req
817. and an ice cream social
with the other agents.Copy !req
818. We should get
him a bus ticket
to make his trip easier.Copy !req
819. (TYPING)
Oh, no, that would be great.
We should try.Copy !req
820. It costs $75.Copy !req
821. Well, maybe the CIA
could send a helicopter.Copy !req
822. "You have been compromised.
Abort mission.
Destroy phone."Copy !req
823. "Destroy phone."Copy !req